{"id":3242,"date":"2005-06-21T07:44:28","date_gmt":"2005-06-21T11:44:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=3242"},"modified":"2024-10-27T15:18:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-27T19:18:34","slug":"the-consequences-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=3242","title":{"rendered":"The Consequences of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was 19, I fell in love. I was a junior in college. I was carrying a full course-load, not to mention acting in plays. I was the lead in the fall musical, during the height of this wacko relationship. It was a massive part, requiring a hell of a lot of work. And suddenly: LOVE! For the first time! I should probably put that in quotations, actually, due to my retrospective take on the matter: “LOVE”! But still. It was my first romance, so whatever. It sure felt real to me at the time. A sweeping passionate roller-coaster love affair which OBSESSED ME. We were going out, we were breaking up, we were going out, we were breaking up … (I described the whole thing here<\/a> – I wrote that piece in the context of the J-Lo and Ben Affleck insanity… member them?)<\/p>\n

Anyway, this post DOES have a point, and I will get to it.<\/p>\n

Somehow, I still managed to get a 4.0, and kick some MAJOR ASS in the play I was doing … but it was a struggle, man. It was a struggle to not just concentrate on the dude I was dating (or not dating, depending on the week). All I wanted to do was moon about thinking about him, and writing in my journal. All I wanted to do was hang out at his house and play Mario Brothers. All I wanted to do was be with him, and go to the movies, and flirt over cups of coffee, and fight in public, and make up in public, and wander around the campus having adventures<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But I had bigger fish to fry. I was in school. I am a perfectionist. I needed to do well in school. I was in a play. I had a huge part. It took a lot of work. I had to manage my time – and not only my time, but my mental focus<\/i>. THAT was the key for me. Because I was in college, and having the busiest semester of my life, my time already was managed for me. From the second I woke up until 11 o’clock at night, I knew where I had to be. There was no free time. So that part was settled. But my mental focus? I could sit in class and just doodle in my notebook, and daydream about my boyfriend. That’s all I wanted to do. He took up so much space in my brain – but there needed to be some internal brake put on my own desires, because: I needed to get good grades, and I needed to work my ass off for this play. I needed to say, on a daily basis – sometimes on a minute to minute basis – “Okay. Stop thinking about him. Study.” or “Put him out of your mind during your voice lesson. FOCUS, Sheila.” And for the most part, it worked. I was able to do my work, AND be crazy wild nuts over this guy.<\/p>\n

I ain’t saying it was easy. But it was what I had to do. Great lessons there, for the future. Life doesn’t stop just because you happen to fall in love. Maybe it stops for a little while, and all you can think about is the new love … but that phase cannot last. (This is the phase where the person in love totally blows off all her friends. A woman gets a boyfriend and suddenly she disappears off the face of the earth. The friend-blowoff usually happens in this beginning phase. BUT: when that phase ends, and real life picks up again … this is when the person in love has to make a bunch of apologetic phone calls to her blown off friends. “Hi … sorry I haven’t been around lately … how are you? I miss you! Can we have a girls night out?” It’s a textbook scenario, totally to be expected.) Life has to go on. You still are a PERSON outside of that, you still have your OWN stuff to do, and you cannot neglect those things. You cannot. Otherwise, life gets all messed up.<\/p>\n

Why am I rambling about this?<\/p>\n

Oh, because I just read this article<\/a> over at Bill McCabe’s<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Quote:<\/p>\n

Katie Holmes has reportedly been dropped from the next Batman movie – for getting engaged to laugh-a-minute Tom Cruise.<\/p>\n

Warners Bros chiefs are reportedly unhappy that her blossoming love for the Mission Impossible star diverted attention away from Batman Begins.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Katie, Katie … you’ve let the first blush of love (however misguided we all think it is) cloud your judgment. You are making the mistake of thinking that this first moment of passion must sweep away all other concerns. You are hurting your career.<\/p>\n

More:<\/p>\n

Bale as Batman was the first to put pen to paper, followed by Caine as butler Alfred and Freeman as Bruce Wayne’s business associate Lucius Fox.<\/p>\n

“Everyone is in agreement that the movie’s strength is with Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman,” a source is quoted in pagesix.com.<\/p>\n

And the insider added Holmes is out.<\/p>\n

“She won’t be in the sequel, the next romantic interest will be a much stronger actress. Warner is happy that people are now focusing on who’ll be playing the Joker rather than Katie and Tom,” he added.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ouch. This is a complete reprimand. This is a criticism that she should listen to. This is a total and public rejection. Day-um.<\/p>\n

Her behavior over the last 3 weeks has alienated a major movie studio. She lost her priorities. (Maybe Mr. Cruise wants her to lose her priorities?) She lost her “mental focus”, if she ever had it. She let the love affair be #1, when it should have been the movie that was #1. These are not easy choices to make … and I’m not saying I handled my situation with grace AT ALL. I had a lot of meltdowns that fall semester, with everything on my plate.<\/p>\n

“Do I pay attention to my mental health and skip a class so I can GET SOME SLEEP??? Or do I suck it up, and go to class, and just know I’m going to be tired … Do I go out with my boyfriend tonight after rehearsal … or do I go home and get some shut-eye? When do I sleep? When do I eat? I’M IN LOVE! AHHHHHH No, no, stop thinking about it. You have to get to rehearsal. Keep it down, keep it down … keep your eye on the ball … ”<\/p>\n

Every. Single. Day that was my interior monologue.<\/p>\n

And here’s the deal (and that was my point in one of the stories I linked to up there – the J-Lo and Ben Affleck one) … I was lucky enough that I could struggle through all this on the relatively small stage of a university setting. The eyes of the world were not watching, and millions of dollars were not at stake.<\/p>\n

If I had decided to just get C’s for the semester, oh well, I need to just be in love right now, and I can’t focus on my schoolwork … there definitely would have been repercussions, in terms of my GPA … but who the hell remembers all of that 20 years after the fact? Who cares? I got an F in Freshman Psychics in high school. An F. It was one of the worst and scariest times of my life. But do I remember it? Do I define myself by it? Do people say about me, “Ah, Sheila. Great girl. She’s the one who got an F in Freshman Physics.”? No. It is not remembered. I was able to mess up and not ruin my chances for the future.<\/p>\n

Katie right now is ruining her chances for the future. It’s already happened. She may break up with him, and come back and surprise us all … but her behavior over the last month will not be forgotten. The public will forget about it quicker than Warner Brothers will.<\/p>\n

She messed UP. She pissed off Warner Brothers. What is she, nuts? Being famous can make you lose your bearings, obviously. You live in a bubble, and people around you want to support that bubble, because probably their paychecks depend on you still being famous. So she is protected from what people are really saying.<\/p>\n

But this is undeniable. This is proof positive. She will not be involved in the rest of the Batman<\/i> franchise.<\/p>\n

She BLEW IT.<\/p>\n

As I have written before: If I had been world-famous during my junior year of college, the tabloids would have had a field day. Not only that … but by the end of my junior year, the public would have experienced complete Sheila Fatigue. Like: enough. ENOUGH with the dramas, Sheila. Settle down. Either date this guy or break up with him. But ENOUGH with this: ooh, are they together, are they not, they were seen having breakfast at Del Mor’s at 7 am … what does THAT mean?? … Rumor has it that they did not speak to each other for the entirety of the cast party … If they were ignoring one another, though, then what is THIS photo<\/a> about?? Exclusive! Exclusive! This is unconfirmed, but a very reliable source tells us that Sheila threw a pretzel at his head during a recent argument … Sheila, Sheila, is it true?<\/p>\n

No comment.<\/p>\n

Wouldn’t you roll your eyes in line at the supermarket, staring at the tabloids, if you had to read that malarkey every time you wanted to buy a gallon of milk? Wouldn’t you, in your un-famous life, think: “Good God, woman, why do we care about your melodramas? Just break up with the guy. I am sick of you. Why should we care about you and your stupid romance?”<\/p>\n

I was young. I was in love. I was insane. And luckily for me and my future reputation: I was not famous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was 19, I fell in love. I was a junior in college. I was carrying a full course-load, not to mention acting in plays. I was the lead in the fall musical, during the height of this wacko … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3242"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102277,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242\/revisions\/102277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}