Bye, Gilligan. You always kind of annoyed me, because I found your stupidity distressing and very stressful to watch. I was 8 years old and I would be screaming at the television, because the solution to your problem at the time was so obvious – yet you acted so stupid! I was more of a Professor fan. (The love of geeks in glasses far pre-dated Cary Grant, I guess.)<\/p>\n
But the real reason I am even writing this right now is that:<\/p>\n
I GOT A CNN BREAKING NEWS EMAIL ABOUT THIS.<\/p>\n
In what universe is the death of Bob Denver “breaking news”? I’m serious. Especially after a week like the one we just had. I’ve made fun of CNN’s breaking emails before. I got one when Rick James died. I got one when Julia Roberts delivered twins. But I have to say: over this past week and a half, CNN’s breaking emails have been pertinent, relevant, and greatly appreciated by me. I was grateful for them.<\/p>\n
And now this.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry he’s dead, but … this is not “breaking news” that warrants an emergency email to millions of people.<\/p>\n
For God’s sake.<\/p>\n
However … let’s not dwell. Instead, let’s just sing, in remembrance of the big white-hatted goofball who gave me anxiety attacks on a daily basis as a child:<\/p>\n
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
\na tale of a fateful trip.
\nThat started from this tropic port,
\naboard this tiny ship.
\nThe mate was a mighty sailin’ man,
\nthe skipper brave and sure.
\nFive passengers set sail that day,
\nfor a three hour tour, a three hour tour\u0085\u0085\u0085
\nThe weather started getting rough,
\nthe tiny ship was tossed.
\nIf not for the courage of the fearless crew,
\nthe Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
\nThe ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
\nwith Gilligan, the Skipper too,
\nthe Millionaire, and his Wife,
\nthe Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann,
\nhere on Gilligan’s Isle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bye, Gilligan. You always kind of annoyed me, because I found your stupidity distressing and very stressful to watch. I was 8 years old and I would be screaming at the television, because the solution to your problem at the … Continue reading