A reader sent me a bit of trivia she thought I might be interested in (she was right!)<\/p>\n
John Keats<\/b>, great poet, who died in 1821, wrote his own epitaph, which is as follows:<\/p>\n “Here lies one whose name was writ in water.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n But actually, the full epitaph reads like this:<\/p>\n This Grave “the Malicious Power of his Enemies” … Woah.<\/p>\n So this got me to thinking about epitaphs in general. As a kid, me and my siblings had to memorize William Butler Yeats’ <\/b>epitaph, in order to get our allowance of 50 measly cents. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could knock that epitaph out of my brain.<\/p>\n It is:<\/p>\n Cast a cold eye Damn. Now that is something. I could ponder that forever.<\/p>\n There are a couple of other relatively famous epitaphs I am familiar with – (I used to plan out, as a teenager, what I wanted on my tombstone – Finally, I settled on “After life’s fitful fever, she sleeps” – Shakespeare – I was insane. I was 15 years old, picking out the best epitaph for myself.)<\/p>\n Anyway, speaking of Shakespeare<\/b>, here is his epitaph, written on his grave in Stratford-on-Avon:<\/p>\n Good friend for Jesus’s sake forbear We won’t move your bones, Will. We promise.<\/p>\n Other epitaphs I know by heart – I don’t know if any of my readers out there also have an interest in this kind of thing – but if you do, feel free to pipe up.<\/p>\n Jack Dempsey’s <\/b>epitaph was (and I LOVE this):<\/p>\n A Gentle Man and a Gentleman<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Robert Frost <\/b>has as his epitaph (and this is certainly something to keep me up at night, pondering):<\/p>\n I had A Lover’s Quarrel With The World<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Me too. Me too.<\/p>\n Emily Dickinson, <\/b>like Keats, wrote her own. It says it all:<\/p>\n Called Back<\/p><\/blockquote>\n F. Scott Fitzgerald <\/b>has, as his epitaph, the famous last line of Gatsby<\/i>:<\/p>\n So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly (Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind having that as my epitaph either … Hm. Must make a note of it.)<\/p>\n Thomas Jefferson <\/b>wrote his own:<\/p>\n Here was buried Thomas Jefferson, And of course, the epitaph of the Unknown Soldier, which everybody knows:<\/p>\n Here Rests in And finally – Jack London – who has this mysterious phrase as his epitaph:<\/p>\n The Stone the Builders Rejected<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Another small obsessive side of me collects “famous last words”. A couple of years ago I met a man at a party – and very soon into our conversing, we realized that we both had little compilations of “famous last words” – We loved them. We shared notes, sending emails back and forth, exchanging “last words”. Needless to say, I fell madly madly madly in love with him in a 24 hour period. Oh MAN did I have it bad for this guy. It didn’t work out, sadly, but I still have a nice little compilation of “famous last words”. So here they be:<\/p>\n John Adams<\/b> – died July 4, 1826 “Thomas Jefferson–still survives<\/i>…” (He didn’t know Jefferson had died earlier the same day – They both died on July 4?? I mean – come ON)<\/p>\n On the exact same day, Thomas Jefferson <\/b>died. He began slipping in and out of a coma. At one point, he woke up and said, “Is it the Fourth<\/i>?” Then he died. I have tears in my eyes. I have no idea if that is actually true – or just a rumor – It is reported in his biographies, with caveats – “Rumor has it…” etc. But I choose to believe it.<\/p>\n Ethan Allen,<\/b> American Revolutionary general, died in 1789, and was told by his doctor, “General, I fear the angels are waiting for you.” Ethan Allen responded, “Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well–let ’em wait<\/i>.” Those were his last words.<\/p>\n Lady Nancy Astor, <\/b>fell very ill, and woke up, to find her entire family standing around her bed. She said, “Am I dying or is this my birthday<\/i>?” These were her last words.<\/p>\n James Joyce <\/b>apparently said, as his last words, “Does nobody understand<\/i>?” I don’t seem to recall this fact being told in the Ellmann biography, though, so it may not be true. No, Jim, nobody really does<\/i> understand – but your work will live on regardless. Genius lives. Understanding is over-rated.<\/p>\n Tallulah Bankhead<\/b>, wild-woman actress, died in 1968. Her last words were, “Codeine . . . bourbon<\/i>.”<\/p>\n P. T. Barnum, <\/b>died in 1891. His last words were, “How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden<\/i>?”<\/p>\n I think my favorite might be Beethoven’s <\/b>last words: “Friends applaud, the comedy is finished<\/i>.” Jesus. Amazing.<\/p>\n Humphrey Bogart’s<\/b> last words are almost TOO perfect. “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.<\/i>” Classic.<\/p>\n Napoleon <\/b>died, murmuring, “Josephine … Josephine <\/i>…”<\/p>\n Oh, and the following was a contribution from the man I met at the party. chIt is so damn funny.<\/p>\n Dominique Bouhours<\/b>, who was one of those strict hard-nosed French grammarians, died in 1702. Last words were: “I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Tacitus tells us that Caligula<\/b>, who was stabbed to death by his own guards in 41 AD, had as his last words the following scream: “I am still alive<\/i>!”<\/p>\n Louise, Queen of Prussia<\/b>, who died in 1820, faced the harsh realities in her last moments, and said, before dying, “I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Chekhov’s <\/b>last words are also a personal favorite of mine. They seem to encapsulate exactly what I love about his writing, his outlook on life: “I am dying. I haven’t drunk champagne for a long time<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Chopin’s <\/b>last words are horrific. He died of tuberculosis. His last words are: “The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive<\/i>.” A terrible death.<\/p>\n Very different from Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s <\/b>last words. Her husband asked her how she felt. She replied, “Beautiful<\/i>” and died. You couldn’t ask for a nicer death.<\/p>\n Winston’s Churchill’s <\/b>last words before slipping into a coma were: “I’m bored with it a<\/i>ll.” 9 days after saying that, he died.<\/p>\n Joan Crawford,<\/b> the old bitch, was on her death-bed. Her housekeeper started to pray out loud to God. Joan Crawford snapped, “Damn it . . . Don’t you dare ask God to help me<\/i>.” Then Mommie Dearest died.<\/p>\n Karl Marx<\/b> died in 1883. As he lay dying, his housekeeper apparently raced in with a pad of paper, and hovered over him, waiting, literally waiting for him to die, so that she could write down his last words for posterity. Marx barked at her, “Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Teddy Roosevelt<\/b> said, bluntly, “Put out the light<\/i>.” and then died.<\/p>\n Charles Darwin<\/b>, unsurprisingly, stated, “I am not the least afraid to die<\/i>.” And then promptly died.<\/p>\n (It’s incredible how people reveal themselves so completely in these intimate vulnerable last moments.)<\/p>\n I find Edison’s <\/b>last words so comforting, so mysterious. I wonder what it was he saw: “It is very beautiful over there<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Eugene O’Neill’s<\/b> last words, which hold a world of grief and loss, and he’s also PISSED, “I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room – and God damn it – died in a hotel room.”<\/i><\/p>\n Edmund Gwenn,<\/b> an actor in the 30s and 40s (Miracle on 34th Street, Life with Father,<\/i> a couple of Lassie<\/i> films) said, when someone asked him if it was “tough” facing death: “Yes, it’s tough, but not as tough as doing comedy<\/i>.” Then he died. God bless him.<\/p>\n Victor Hugo<\/b> said, as his last words before death, something which chills me, “I see black light<\/i>.” Maybe he saw a “darkling plain”.<\/p>\n Boris Pasternak<\/b> died saying the following, and I know it’s uncompassionate of me, but I find his last words rather comical: “Good-bye . . . why am I hemorrhaging<\/i>?”<\/p>\n Anna Pavlova,<\/b> one of the most famous ballerinas who ever lived, said before she died, in 1931, “Get my swan costume ready<\/i>.”<\/p>\n General John Sedgwick<\/b>, Union Commander in the Civil War, was killed in battle in 1864, saying, “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist<\/i>. . . .”<\/p>\n A relatively famous (and comi-tragic) one is the last words of Dylan Thomas<\/b>, who reportedly said, “I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record <\/i>. . .”<\/p>\n This next one cracks my heart in two. Jesus. If he only knew. Leonardo DaVinci’s <\/b>last words were, “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have<\/i>.”<\/p>\n Oscar Wilde’s<\/b> might be the most famous of all, and for good reason. “Either that wallpaper goes, or I do<\/i>.” Clearly, the wallpaper stayed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Famous Epitaphs A reader sent me a bit of trivia she thought I might be interested in (she was right!) John Keats, great poet, who died in 1821, wrote his own epitaph, which is as follows: “Here lies one whose … Continue reading
\ncontains all that was Mortal
\nof a
\nYoung English Poet
\nWho
\non his Death Bed
\nin the Bitterness of his Heart
\nat the Malicious Power of his Enemies
\nDesired
\nthese words to be engraved on his Tomb Stone
\n“Here lies One Whose Name was writ in Water.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nOn life On death
\nHorseman pass by<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nTo dig the dust enclosed here
\nBlest be the man that spares these stones
\nAnd cursed be he that moves my bones<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\ninto the past. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nauthor of the Declaration of American Independence,
\nof the statute of Virginia for religious freedom,
\nand father of the University of Virginia.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nHonored Glory
\nAn American
\nSoldier
\nKnown But to God<\/p><\/blockquote>\nFamous Last Words<\/h3>\n