March 2005<\/p>\n
So this morning I had a loooooong teleconference with Cashel, about the book he has basically commissioned me to write. The book “on nature and storms”. It started out with a heart-crack moment, because we sort of did the chit-chat thing (which I’m not good at, and neither is he). “Hi, how are you?” “Fine. Good.” Dead-ends galore. Cashel’s voice sounded tiny and almost monotone. There were MANY awkward pauses. Then Cashel said, in a completely different voice altogether, kind of alert and serious, “Auntie Sheila, I really hope that you will think about writing that book on nature and storms.”<\/p>\n
And with that, we were off and running. Cashel and I talked about nature and storms for 45 minutes. We planned out our book. We brainstormed. I wrote down everything he said.<\/p>\n
Here, briefly, is what Cashel wants:<\/p>\n
\nThere will be two distinct sections of the book. One on STORMS. And one on NATURE. These are not one and the same and must be separated out.<\/p>\n
We took on the “storms” part first. We started listing all the different kinds of “storms”. We include “natural disasters” under this category, by the way.<\/p>\n
Here is the list – My contributions were “hurricane”, “blizzard” and “volcano eruption”. All else came from Cashel:<\/p>\n
Hurricane
\nDrought
\nLightning
\nTsunami
\nFlood
\nEarthquake
\nBlizzard
\nMud slide
\nTyphoon
\nVolcano<\/p>\n
Then came the NATURE discussion. Now, to me … where I was going with the whole “nature” thing was to get into all the different elements in nature: animals, mountains, ocean, stuff like that. I was very quickly made to realize that that was not what Cashel had in mind at all.<\/p>\n
Here is where the conversation got really deep.<\/p>\n
I said, “Okay. So now we move on to ‘Nature’. I am thinking we should have different sections in the book for – like – the beach. Or flowers. Or redwood trees.”<\/p>\n
Cashel interrupted me, and his voice dripped with scorn and irritation. “Auntie Sheila, no, not trees and flowers. Not THAT. They’re not DANGEROUS.”<\/p>\n
I slowly realized that the book was actually going to be a list of dangers, throughout the planet.<\/p>\n
“Oh … okay … so just dangerous stuff in nature, then?”<\/p>\n
I felt confused. Because to me, all the dangerous stuff in nature we had already covered (typhoon, earthquake, etc.) Oh, how narrow-minded and unimaginative I am. Cashel, in an extended monologue, set me straight.<\/p>\n
He said, “Yes – like SICKNESSES.”<\/p>\n
“Sicknesses?”<\/p>\n
“Sicknesses can be VERY dangerous!” (Again, the irritation in his voice. I was slow on the uptake.)<\/p>\n
“Yes, Cash-man. You’re right. They can be very dangerous.”<\/p>\n
“Like tuberculosis.” Cashel rattled this one off.<\/p>\n
I wrote down, under my “Nature” heading the word: “Tuberculosis.”<\/p>\n
“Yup. Tuberculosis.” (Where the hell did he get that??)<\/p>\n
Then came this monologue from Cashel: “And here’s another one. You go to China, okay? And you pick up a virus in China. Then you come home, and you get a cold, and then BOOM.” (He shouted “Boom”) “You’re dead. Your white blood cells can’t fend the virus off.”<\/p>\n
I literally wanted Cashel to keep talking in this vein FOREVER.<\/p>\n
I said, “Right. White blood cells are very important. So what other sicknesses?”<\/p>\n
Cashel began to brainstorm. He said, “Heart attack.” I wrote it down. He clarified for me, his stupid auntie, “Basically any kind of sickness caused by NATURE.”<\/p>\n
Then, out of nowhere, Cashel said in a serious voice, “I think the most dangerous thing in nature is ourselves.”<\/p>\n
I felt that go right through me. I felt his essence, his little serious essence. It was a deep moment.<\/p>\n
I said, “Ourselves, Cashman?”<\/p>\n
“Yes. Mankind. Mankind is the most dangerous thing in nature.”<\/p>\n
“I think you’re onto something there.”<\/p>\n
“Wars. Look at all the wars.”<\/p>\n
“I know.”<\/p>\n
There really wasn’t much else to say, along those lines … I wanted so badly to be in his presence at that moment, his little sensitive blond-headed presence, and hang out with him, and read with him, and watch movies, and stuff. He’s an incredible person, he really is.<\/p>\n
Then, after the digression into the inherently dangerous nature of mankind, we got back to our list of sicknesses.<\/p>\n
Cashel said, “Heart burn. Also humungous fungus.” There was a long pause, and then Cashel said portentously, “There’s a fungus among us.”<\/p>\n
I burst into laughter, and I heard Cashel laughing silently on the other end. I only knew he was laughing (in that shaking-like-a-bowlful-of-jelly way that he was) because of the occasional gasps for breath. Other than that? Silence.<\/p>\n
We ended the list of “sicknesses caused by nature” with the deadliest of them all:<\/p>\n
“Onion breath.”<\/p>\n
I certainly have my work cut out for me. A book including typhoons and onion breath. I can’t wait to get started.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
March 2005 So this morning I had a loooooong teleconference with Cashel, about the book he has basically commissioned me to write. The book “on nature and storms”. It started out with a heart-crack moment, because we sort of did … Continue reading