— Gearing up for a busy fall. Siobhan and Ben’s wedding fast approaching. My friends’ son Bar Mitzvah. New York Film Festival. <\/p>\n
— Finally finishing up the Twilight<\/i> books. I read Twilight<\/i> and New Moon<\/i> in the final months of 2008 when I no longer could concentrate on anything more serious. They gave me great comfort. Then, with the early months of 2009, I didn’t feel like picking them up anymore. I couldn’t read at all in 2009. So I figured, what the hell, let me finish them. They are completely hilarious and ridiculous. I want to tell Bella, “Dear, you’re 18. Relax. There is no need to choose Team Jacob OR Team Edward because YOU’RE EIGHTEEN.” Or, to quote my friend Odie<\/a>, “Bitch, buy a dildo, damn!” That’s kind of how I feel, but still, the books are extremely entertaining. Every 5 pages, Edward and Bella have yet another 10-page argument and it is always the same thing. “If I love you completely, I could kill you.” “But that’s okay – I’ll be fine.” “I could not bear to hurt you, Bella.” “Please, love me. It’s okay.” I want to say to Edward, “Oh relax with your protective bullshit. It’s tiresome.” It NEVER STOPS. The argument never develops, it never moves forward, it is always the same<\/i>. Perhaps sparkly-skinned vampires are stuck in a time-loop where it’s okay to have the same argument every 10 minutes. The writing is often atrocious, but somehow I don’t mind. I find Bella entertaining in all her martyr-complex clumsypants charm. I am now almost done with the final book, so please, do not tell me what happens. I am warning you. Bella and Edward are now married, she’s a vampire, and she’s learning the ropes. Who knew that being a vampire DIDN’T mean that you had to sleep in a coffin, slurp down blood, and cringe at the sight of crucifixes … Who knew that it actually meant you could run like the wind, fuck all night long and never get tired, and leap over rivers in a single bound! Where do I sign up?<\/p>\n — I’ve been going to the beach as much as I can. Last weekend, I swam for a total of 5 hours. The waves were huge. My SPF worked great, not one new freckle. But I was waterlogged. <\/p>\n — It’s the last days of bikini weather. And in that vein. I have always loved bikinis. Clearly. Even when they cut off my circulation.<\/p>\n — Chicago reading of my script nearly finalized. For those of you in the Chicago area, the reading will be held at a theatre, so I will certainly provide details once they become available. It will be in early November. … Continue reading ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/6817_130875112631_612742631_2470058_1999673_n.jpg\" "\\"6817_130875112631_612742631_2470058_1999673_n\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"