Just came back from the post office. Things are a bit, shall we say, nutty in New York right now – due to the transit strike, for one thing. The streets are way more crowded than normal, and there is a traffic jam on every corner. Also, with Christmas – New York has that frenetic barely pleasurable last-minute shopping frenzy feel to it. I dreaded the post office. But I went and got there just in time. There were only a couple of people ahead of me.<\/p>\n
Now – one thing happened which made me think of something else (ain’t that always the way).<\/p>\n
A guy stood in front of me. He had a long ponytail which was knotted a couple of times on the way down – so that it had sort of the look of Dumbledore’s beard in the latest Harry Potter<\/i>. The man’s hair was greying – so we’re talking MAJOR aging hippie energy.<\/p>\n
I had a big package, he had a small certified letter.<\/p>\n
There were only a couple of windows open, and so there was that kind of tense animal-alert feel through the line. You had to be on your toes. You had to be READY TO GO when it was your turn. If you paused for a MILLISECOND of a MILLISECOND, someone farther back in the line would jump down your throat. You could not pause. It was a group event. We all had to work together. If I paused, or if I got distracted when another window opened up – then I would be affecting the 20 people behind me. BAD collective behavior. New Yorkers are very good at collective behavior.<\/p>\n
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: People think New Yorkers are rude. We might SEEM rude but what is REALLY going on is that we are OBSESSED with manners, WAY more than people who live in regions where the residents actually can have personal space and get the hell away from each other. We cannot get away from each other – therefore, we are OBSESSED with manners. And everyone must play along. In New York good manners mean: wait your turn, don’t cut, don’t shove, respect other people’s boundaries, don’t just stop on a crowded sidewalk and stare around – you’re messing up the traffic, and DON’T waste other people’s time. There are too many of us on this tiny island – we all must work together.<\/p>\n
I have seen this dynamic again and again, and I just love it. It cracks me up. We are all in each other’s business. If it’s a crowded Times Square sidewalk, and you who are in front of me – suddenly STOP and take out your cell phone – so that I crash into you – you will HEAR from me what I think of your behavior. It’s selfish. You are not alone. Get out of the line of traffic. Realize that you are not the only person on the planet.<\/p>\n
New Yorkers may correct people in a rude way – but it’s not random rudeness. It has to do with the fact that people who do not “play along”, who think they can play it their OWN way, need to be scolded and corrected. We all take it on ourselves.<\/p>\n
Hippie Guy and I stood, silently, waiting. Separate. Alert as animals, staring up and down the line of windows, ready to move IMMEDIATELY at the blessed call, “Step down, please!”<\/p>\n
Then – both of us saw the same thing:<\/p>\n
A girl tried to bypass the line and walk right up to one of the windows. Because she had just a little something she needed – a book of stamps, a question answered, whatever. I saw this happen – and he saw it happen – we both just stared at her back with rageful eagle-eyes – I was getting ready to do my part in this collective group experience of being in line at the Post Office – and shout, “Hey – there’s a huge line! Wait your turn!” – but I didn’t have to. Post Office Lady behind counter gestured in a blase manner at the long line, and went back to helping her current customer.<\/p>\n
Hippie Man turned and gave me a look. I shook my head in disbelief. He did too. He said, “There’s always one person<\/i>, you know? There’s always one person<\/i>.” “Unbelievable.” He said, “I have one stupid letter to mail …” “Right – but you’re in line. Because that’s what you do.” “Exactly.” “Unbelievable.”<\/p>\n
A moment of New York bonding. A moment of Being-in-line bonding. I love it. New Yorkers hate lines, but we respect them. I don’t know – the whole thing cracks me up. We police ourselves, basically, because there are just too damn many of us to let everyone go HOG WILD and start CUTTING IN LINE left and right. IT WOULD BE ANARCHY!!!<\/p>\n
I have posted a number of funny post office stories here.<\/p>\n
So here they are.<\/p>\n
Gladys, you’re all right<\/a> – Gladys made such an impression on me that if I saw her on the street today I would recognize her. Loved her.<\/p>\n Post office love and perfume<\/a> – yet another example of rigid line-behavior (only this time I was the bad person in line – it happens to all of us!)<\/p>\n Always an adventure at the post office. But I loved my outraged bonding moment with Hippie Guy. I felt like he and I were about to charge over there like panthers and drag that girl off to the bushes. No WAY do you cut in line! We have invested TIME out of our LIVES in this line! And you think you can just skip it? The nerve.<\/p>\n But here, though, is what standing in line at the post office REALLY made me think of:<\/p>\n The mother of all standing-in-line stories (at least on this blog, I don’t know about elsewhere): The Line<\/a>. I waited in line for 18 hours to get tickets to a play. I slept in the dirt. Secrets of humanity were revealed. You know. The usual.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Just came back from the post office. Things are a bit, shall we say, nutty in New York right now – due to the transit strike, for one thing. The streets are way more crowded than normal, and there is … Continue reading