This entry is from my junior year in high school.<\/p>\n
I’m pretty much posting it here because of the first sentence. I kind of can’t even laugh hard enough for how funny it strikes me … I was completely unaware of how FUNNY I would seem to a future me.<\/p>\n
Anyhoo. See if you can get past the first sentence.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30. It’s a wicked fun thing where the classes compete by playing basketball on donkeys. I’ve never been but everyone’s making such a big deal about it. It’ll be fun. The band’ll be there. [I was in love with DW, band president – so naturally I suddenly became a huge band afficianado.<\/i>] Now I didn’t know that when I bought tickets. This just makes it all the more great. I can’t wait!<\/p>\n
If you can stand it, I’ve got a few more DW tidbits for you! And I’m not sorry! [Who ya talkin’ to, Sheila?<\/i>] School is so fun now. Everything goes by so fast. Suddenly it’s 4th period French. He’s always in there before me. Today, though, he was right behind me. I always recognize his voice. Anyway, I came into the room and put my stuff on my desk. DW brushed past me to get to his desk. I hopped up on my desk and sat there swinging my feet. DW came by to throw something away and as he walked by, he glanced down at me and said, “I saw you at the game on Saturday, Sheila.” (in a joking accusing way). My heart started going 5 million beats a milli-second. [Wow. That’s so specific.<\/i>] And I said, “Well, I saw you too!” That was the best I could come up with spur of the moment. I am a dumbass. Then as he walked by again, I started singing, “Duh- duh – duh – duh<\/u> – deduh! Duh duh duh duh<\/u> duh duh …” [Jesus. What are you retarded, Sheila? I have no idea what that song is supposed to be.<\/i>] Hearing that, he immediately stopped and looked at me. Okay, I suppose I did sing it cause I knew he would hear. Anyway, he started to his desk, singing his jazzy part. [Again with the jazzy?<\/i>] I almost died. He’s so musical. Really nice deep voice. I felt like throwing myself on him and saying, “You are such a good sax player!” Of course I didn’t. [Glad you didn’t. Also: y’know what, Sheila Teenager? You’re musical too. You have a terrific singing voice. Don’t make him out to be God. You’re pretty awesome yourself. Just thought you should know.<\/i>]<\/p>\n
Anyway, after class – DW walked out in front of me. God, is he tall – I love it – It’s getting easier and easier to just talk to him – it comes more natural. I have inklings sometimes about him, but they’re embarrassing to say. [And saying “I’m going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30” ISN’T embarrassing?<\/i>] He is always looking over at me. Anyway, I said, “DW!” He stopped and sort of twisted his body to look back at me. [Notice the detail. I noticed EVERYTHING. And I remember EVERYTHING. Body language, how someone stands, turns, their glances, their slight grins – Especially with guys I am crazy about. Their body language is usually emblazoned on my brain like a newsreel. I can still see how the boy I loved when I was 11 tilted his head to the side when he was writing at his desk, etc. etc. A strange phenomenon. And it was in full-blown mania stage with this DW character.<\/i>] What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see anything? [Er – I hope so. You do, after all, take up space, and are made up of matter. It’s not like you’re a little ghostie and you call out his name – he turns around and there’s nothing there!<\/i>] I trotted up to catch up to him and we walked along together.<\/p>\n
[Please try to read my first comment to DW without guffawing.<\/i>]<\/p>\n
“Is it too late to buy a donkey ball ticket?”<\/p>\n
[I am shaking with laughter.<\/i>]<\/p>\n
He said, “Nope!” Very confident voice – not chipper – but … he looked very – pleased, sort of. Happy. Because I was talking to him? Oh God, Sheila. SHUT UP.<\/u> Anyway, I said, “Can I buy one at lunch?” “You sure can!” I love him! I love his voice! I love the way he walks, talks, smiles at me, holds his books.<\/p>\n
Then I turned and flew lightly down the stairs to Math. When the break bell rang, I ran to meet Mere so we could go to lunch together. I assaulted her with: “LET’S GO TO DONKEY BALL! AHHHH!” [Sheila, what the hell is up with your whole Donkey Ball obsession?<\/i>] Poor Mere was depressed because of BB and I was so up up up! I saw her face, sobered up and said, “Okay. Sorry. I’m serious now.” I tried<\/u> to keep a straight face, but a smile exploded through, which then got Mere laughing.<\/p>\n
We went into the lunch room. There, sitting at one table, with a big donkey ball sign [I swear, if you say “donkey ball” one more time, my head is going to explode.<\/i>] was DW! I had a heart attack. I attacked Mere, crying, “Oh, let’s get tickets! Let’s get tickets!” Mere nodded wearily. “Okay. Okay.” [hahahahaha “wearily” <\/i>] She leant me some money [Good Lord. She leant me money FOR DONKEY BALL TICKETS? That is above and beyond the call of friendship duty<\/i>] and I casually strolled over. [Sheila, you couldn’t be casual if you tried.<\/i>] He was sitting – sort of languidly – his long legs jutted out, and I came up. He glanced up, saw me, and smiled — real<\/u> smile – I love his smile – I mean, it’s like trying to describe how I feel when I’m acting. I can’t say<\/u> it, or describe<\/u> it. I just do<\/u> it. I gave him the money for our tickets and he handed me the change, saying, “Thank you, ma’am! Tell all your friends!”<\/p>\n
I can’t — I just can’t — I can’t tell you how I feel!!<\/u> But I know how I feel<\/u>, even though I can’t say it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This entry is from my junior year in high school. I’m pretty much posting it here because of the first sentence. I kind of can’t even laugh hard enough for how funny it strikes me … I was completely unaware … Continue reading