— The beginning song is so dumb that I am embarrassed for everyone involved. “I hope the cast of Lost can find their seats inside …” Stupid.<\/p>\n
— Eric Bana is smokin’ hot.<\/p>\n
— Queen Latifah – you’re kind of just not as fabulous as you believe you are. Sorry. You’re not.<\/p>\n
— Sarah Jessica Parker looks beautiful, but I’m not wacky about her dark eye makeup. I think she looks better with the pale look.<\/p>\n
— George Clooney just keeps getting better and better looking.<\/p>\n
— I already totally forgot about Cinderella Man<\/i>. I saw it … I think I even liked it, but instantly forgot it. Not a really good sign. Especially for me – a huge Russell Crowe freak.<\/p>\n
— George Clooney won for Best Supporting Actor in Syriana<\/i>. “This is early … I haven’t had a drink yet … ” <\/p>\n
— Ohhhh, a shot of Mel Brooks laughing. He’s had a rough year … but there he is laughing. Nice.<\/p>\n
— Adrien Brody and Natalie Portman are like automatons up there. They have no chemistry.<\/p>\n
— Rachel Weisz – you are GORGEOUS but what the hell is going on with your hair?<\/p>\n
— Rachel Weisz won for Best Supporting Actress for Constant Gardener<\/i>. I didn’t see it – not my cup of tea – but I have always loved her acting.<\/p>\n
— Her hair is really bad. And her dress looks like one of my anxiety attacks. Her eye makeup is way too dark. Her whole look is bad.<\/p>\n
— She’s so damn sweet, though. I really like her.<\/p>\n
Commercial break.<\/p>\n
— I love Luke Wilson’s suit – it’s hysterical. It’s so corporate.<\/p>\n
— Best supporting actor in a TV movie or miniseries – Paul Newman in Empire Falls<\/i> – The gorgeous little Jessica Alba accepted the award for him.<\/p>\n
— Teri Hatcher frightens me. What the hell happened to her? I yearn for the Lois and Clark days. What the hell is going on, Skeletor? You were a luscious woman back then. I am also deeply scared of her gold dress.<\/p>\n
— I just love Camryn Manheim. I wish we could be friends.<\/p>\n
— Best supporting actress in a TV movie or miniseries -Sandra Oh!! Now that I’m into Grey’s Anatomy<\/i> this is very exciting. She can’t seem to find the stage. She is trapped out among the tables.<\/p>\n
— She begins with: “I I I I I … feel like someone has set me on fire …” Oh. She’s making my favorite kind of speech. Nutty and funny. “Thank you SO MUCH to my team who has been with me through the years ….” Long pause. “I can’t remember any<\/i> of your names right now …” Good for her. She seemed truly emotional. And that’s what I’m in it for, baby. The EMOTIONS.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Brief shot of Shirley Maclaine, during the commercial break, sitting at her table and chowing down, talking to nobody. She cracks me up. I love her.<\/p>\n
— I honestly don’t believe it is possible for me to love Drew Barrymore any more than I already do. Look at her glowing skin. Her dress. She’s just so HERSELF.<\/p>\n
— Loved the shot of Spielberg, her director in ET, beaming at her as she entered.<\/p>\n
— There’s something not there<\/i> in Emmy Rossum or whatever her name is. I know she’s getting great gigs right now … but to me, she doesn’t have “it”<\/p>\n
— Gwyneth looks sooooooo thrilled to be there. She barely had the energy to clap. She had a condescending look on her face, like she was just tolerating the whole event. <\/p>\n
— I love Patricia Arquette. I’ve loved her for years. I kind of hope she wins for Medium<\/i> – she’s such a real actress.<\/p>\n
— Best actress in a TV Drama: Geena Davis. Never seen the show. But I think she’s a cool woman. I’m okay with the choice. Her breasts are overwhelming me with their jewelled beauty right now.<\/p>\n
— “Well, that didn’t actually happen …” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<\/p>\n
— I love that Geena’s hair is kind of tousled and natural-looking. She looks beautiful, I think.<\/p>\n
— I have no idea who these next presenters are. I don’t watch television enough. She looks a bit rough around the edges, whoever she is. Like she just took a bong hit before coming on.<\/p>\n
— Best actor in a TV drama: Holy crap. Matthew Fox. Hot. Hot. But I’m hoping Keifer wins. Yay!! Dr. House! I’ve never seen the show but I adore Hugh Laurie. His brief part in Sense and Sensibility<\/i> is genius.<\/p>\n
— He is randomly thanking people from scraps of paper he has in his pocket. That is so funny. hahahahaha “I’d like to thank the script supervisor …”<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Oh, Melanie, Melanie. Just stop. Stop what you’re doing with your face. Please. Grow old. It’s okay. You know you want to. I do like her bouffant hairdo though. And I think her personality is adorable – I always have. Very sweet and vulnerable. She kind of can’t lie.<\/p>\n
— Russell Crowe looks mad.<\/p>\n
— Best mini series or motion picture made for television: I haven’t seen any of these choices. Empire Falls, Lackawanna Blues, Sleeper Cell, Into the West … no idea about any of them. And … Empire Falls<\/i> won! I heard it was boring. Great cast, but boring. They all looked like stiffs, though. “Issue” movies. Yawn.<\/p>\n
— Oh! There’s Steve Carell in the audience!!! Love him!<\/p>\n
— Best actor in a TV series Comedy: Hi Jason Lee, you Scientologist! Charlie Sheen looks very weird. What’s up with his face? STEVE CARELL WON. I still won’t see it … argh … I’m conflicted – but I couldn’t adore Steve Carell more. He’s so so wonderful. A well deserved success. Well deserved.<\/p>\n
— His speech is absolute genius. hahahahaha<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Tim Robbins – comb your hair. Honest to God.<\/p>\n
— Jamie Foxx – take the sunglasses off. <\/p>\n
— Best Actress in a TV Musical or Comedy: Oops. Jamie Foxx said one of the nominee’s name was “Laura Linley”. It’s Linney, babe. Take the sunglasses off. Maybe then you could read the card correctly.<\/p>\n
— Bettah be Reese. Bettah be Reese.<\/p>\n
— IT’S REESE WITHERSPOON! She’s phenomenal. She looks adorable. I love her hair, her makeup is subtle … I am so happy she won. “To my husband my children – you are my everything … Nothing is worth anything if I can’t have you in my life …” <\/p>\n
— Best actress in a TV Comedy: 4 nominees from Desperate Housewives<\/i>. Wow. I bet that set is a nightmare of ego and diva bullshit. Marcia Cross – what a beautiful lady. Teri Hatcher – I believe I covered my response to her earlier. Eva Longoria – she cheered for herself., I mean, really cheered. I don’t like her. And then Mary Louise Parker from Weeds<\/i> – MARY LOUISE PARKER WON! HOLY CRAP.<\/p>\n
— Okay, she looks very very thin, and I can’t stand her side ponytail. However, she won. So take THAT, Billy Crudup!<\/p>\n
— Oh man. She just thanked John Spencer “an actor who made it look so easy …” – I got a lump in my throat at that one. He is already so missed.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Emma Thompson: “I thought I had covered Jane Austen actually …” hahahaha She is hilarious. More Emma Thompson is my motto.<\/p>\n
— Okay. I am totally having a PROBLEM with Eric Bana and his hotness right now. Hotness like that just ASSAULTS ME. STOP. Give me a chance to catch up! Argh. He is so hot.<\/p>\n
— This blog has so gone down the tubes.<\/p>\n
— Best actor in a TV miniseries – never heard of or seen any of these. I would like to see the The Girl in the Cafe<\/i>, actually – it looked really good.<\/p>\n
— Eric Bana. Good God. Help???<\/p>\n
— Jonathan Rhys-Meyers won for the Irish one. Love the Irish accent. Help me. Can’t wait to see the new Woody Allen with him in it. I loved him in Bend it like Beckham<\/i>, Velvet Goldmine<\/i> … lovin’ the accent. He is kind of humble and awkward, which is very charming.<\/p>\n
— Eric Bana. He’s still presenting. I’M HAVING A PROBLEM.<\/p>\n
— Best Actress in a TV miniseries or movie: Okay, so we’ve got Halle Berry (I’m kinda over her), S. Epatha Merkerson – she’s fantastic – a Law & Order<\/i> workhorse … Kelly Macdonald … Cynthia Nixon as Eleanor Roosevelt … I love her too. As you can tell, I am not critical. I’m not a snarker. Mira Sorvino in Human Trafficking … Nevah heard of it … S. Epatha Merkerson won. I am so damn happy for her even though I haven’t seen it. The chick has worked for YEARS. A true craftswoman. The kind of career I would love to have. Good for her.<\/p>\n
— She is making me weep. “I am 53 years old. This is my first lead in a film.” This is why I love acting and actors so much. <\/p>\n
— Okay, Eric Bana’s done presenting. Thank God. I needed a damn BREAK from his HOTNESS.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— And here comes the Master of Hotness, Colin Firth! He looks very scruffy and English.<\/p>\n
— So so excited to see Match Point<\/i>.<\/p>\n
— Mandy Moore looks bored out of her mind.<\/p>\n
— Virginia Madsen looks gorgeous, and Harrison Ford looks like an aging grizzly man. Harrison Ford walked on with a drink in his hand. <\/p>\n
— Best screenplay: WHOOHOO for Larry McMurtry and Osama bin Laden for their screenplay for Brokeback<\/i>. Yay – Annie Proulx got some applause. Always like that.<\/p>\n
— Cut to Johnny Depp, who looks gorgeous, and yet insane.<\/p>\n
— Larry McMurtry is awesome … “I’ll just thank our lawyers …” McMurtry is killing me. He’s talking about his typewriter – he’s had it for 30 years.<\/p>\n
— Yay for them! Great adaptation of a phenomenal story.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— I love that people coming from the Best of Blogs awards – looking to see my literary ruminations are instead going to find me saying: “Eric Bana is so hot!”<\/p>\n
— Best TV series, musical, or comedy: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Desperate Housewives, Entourage (blah), Everybody Hates Chris, My Name is Xenu, Weeds … Desperate Housewives won. And they’re all going up onstage. There are 50 of them making their way thru the tables.<\/p>\n
— I don’t know … I’m getting a kind of tepid atmosphere in the room in response to this win … I don’t know … It just doesn’t have the same buzzy vibe when others win. People were kind of clapping, kind of not … Hmmm.<\/p>\n
— Penelope Cruz. You’re gorgeous. Can’t understand a damn word you say. Please work on your English if you want me to give a crap about you and your career. HOWEVER: good for you for running away from the Couch-Jumper. Good work.<\/p>\n
— Oh boy, here comes Matthew McConahoo. Where’s my brother?<\/p>\n
— Best foreign language film: Paradise Now.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Not wacky about Catherine Deneuve’s dress. She’s so stunning. Hate the sleeves.<\/p>\n
— I don’t think it’s possible to be more beautiful than Rosario Dawson. Good God.<\/p>\n
— Best soundtrack to a movie: John Williams, Geisha. What – does he have 60 awards now? Probably more. “Oh, whatever – piece of cake – toss the award in the garage with the 500 other ones …”<\/p>\n
— Here comes Mariah! She’s got her act together again! No more crazy Mariah! She looks beautiful, albeit a little shiny.<\/p>\n
— Best original song: I’m hoping Mel Brooks won. Just because, you know? Oh well. He didn’t win. Some song from Brokeback Mountain. OH – Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics to the song – that’s pretty cool. Emmylou Harris sang it … no idea what the song is … At least they don’t PERFORM the songs on this awards show like they do on the Oscars. Sheesh. Oh my God – crazy musician leaning into the television screen and saying, “I’d like to dedicate this to Martin Luther King …” He is wasted!!<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
Next up? Cecil B. DeMille award is going to go to Anthony Hopkins.<\/p>\n
— Gwyneth’s dress is ludicrous. Also, you’re not British. Knock it off with the fake accent.<\/p>\n
— Oh this is fabulous. A tribute. Lion in Winter<\/i>. I have goosebumps.<\/p>\n
— Oh shit. Magic<\/i>. That fucking terrifying puppet.<\/p>\n
— Look at Hopkins’ face watching himself. Wow. He’s one of my favorite actors.<\/p>\n
— He was so so exquisite in Remains of the Day<\/i>. Acting don’t get any better than that. Takes my breath away.<\/p>\n
— Everyone: You must see his new film when it comes out: “The World’s Fastest Indian” – I saw a pre-release of it, and it’s terrific. LOVE him.<\/p>\n
— What a career he has had. Look at how different he looks from part to part. He’s truly extraordinary.<\/p>\n
— Gwyneth – his name is ANTHONY. Not ANTONY. Knock it off with the accent, you puffed-sleeve phony.<\/p>\n
— Oh my God. Elephant Man<\/i>. Wow.<\/p>\n
— WONDERFUL speech. What a beautiful man. Thanking the crews and gaffers and prop people and costume people … “They are anonymous people … they work harder than anyone …” What an actor.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Here comes Mandy Moore. She still looks bored out of her mind. Her hair looks terrible – like she just pulled it back in a ponytail. I really like her … but her hair is awful.<\/p>\n
— Love Clint’s tux. Real old-school.<\/p>\n
— Best director of a motion picture: Peter Jackson looks homeless.<\/p>\n
— WHOO HOO! ANG LEE!!!<\/p>\n
— Ang Lee … so sweet. “I sometimes get too uptight … too critical to enjoy films …” Beautiful. He is all verklempt. “This has been an amazing year for American cinema.” I agree. Look at his face. “I want to give my first thanks to my fellow film-makers … ” Beautiful. Why is he just killing me now? His little squatty body, his round face … He’s very moved.<\/p>\n
— Heath Ledger looks HAWT.<\/p>\n
— Hi, John Travolta! Love you! You’re a freak and you’re in a cult, and you need to deal with it.<\/p>\n
— Best actor in a comedy or musical: WOW. Joaquin Phoenix. Well well deserved. Good for him.<\/p>\n
— hahahaha He made a funny comment at the beginning: “Who would have ever thought I would win in the comedy or musical category?” He looks gorgeous.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Kathy’s comment: “Peter Jackson is sooooo on Atkins.” hahahahaha<\/p>\n
— Walk the Line<\/i> – guys, it’s a fantastic film. See it. It’s so good.<\/p>\n
— Renee Z, what exactly is your problem? <\/p>\n
— Best Comedy\/Musical: Walk the Line. Awesome.<\/p>\n
— Renee looks like she literally RESENTS that she is not the center of attention. <\/p>\n
— That guy’s speech is killing me. “I’m just so sad that June and John couldn’t be here to see this film … I know they would be so proud …” Ooh, he’s married to Jane Seymour. She is WEEPING in the audience. Standing, and WEEPING. Beautiful speech.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Hey Debra Messing: YOU’RE FROM RHODE ISLAND. I know you don’t like to admit it, and you never mention us, and you never do anything for us – BUT YOU’RE FROM RHODE ISLAND, BEEYOTCH. I know your secret. You cannot hide.<\/p>\n
— Help – what is this award? Best TV series? I think so.<\/p>\n
— Lost<\/i> is the winner. Sheesh. I feel so behind. I MUST watch that show … I feel so out of it. People are literally lunatics with wild eyes when they talk about it. “Have you seen Lost??” <\/p>\n
— 500 people are on that stage right now.<\/p>\n
— “I’d like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for the open bar …” hahahahahaha<\/p>\n
— Dennis Quaid looks mussed up. Oh my God, he just made the joke that Brokeback Mountain<\/i> rhymes with “chick flick”. Racy!!! Quaid is hot, I don’t care that his hair is messy.<\/p>\n
— Leo! The king of the world!!!<\/p>\n
— He looks like he’s in the Addams Family, for some reason.<\/p>\n
— Best actress in a motion picture: Felicity Huffman in Transamerica<\/i>. Wow. Alex – where are you right now? How are you doing? Mixed personal response to this. Long story. “My mother thinks I’m on a TV show called The Women<\/i> …” <\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Hi, Hillary Swank. Sorry to hear about the breakup of your marriage.<\/p>\n
— Oh man. Russell Crowe looks insane.<\/p>\n
— This is for the Best Actor award.<\/p>\n
— Terrence Howard is an amazing actor. He caught my fancy way back when in Holland’s Opus<\/i>.<\/p>\n
— I gotta vote for Heath, though. That performance was iconic, for me. Above and beyond.<\/p>\n
— Philip!!!! Yay! I LOVE HIM!!!! Well deserved. Amazing actor.<\/p>\n
— I’m inappropriately pissed off at Jamie Foxx’s sunglasses. I really need to let it go.<\/p>\n
Commercial break<\/p>\n
— Denzel. Please lighten up. You’re a great actor. You can chill out now, mkay? Humorlessness will only get you so far.<\/p>\n
— Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain. yayyyyyyyyyyyyy I literally clapped at this one, by myself, in my apartment. Yay!!<\/p>\n
— The producer is kind of overdoing it with the adjectives. “The understatedly elegant so and so … the brash and gorgeous so and so … the tender yet rough-housing so and so …” Calm down.<\/p>\n
— But great film – I’m happy for it. Happy for all of them.<\/p>\n
And that’s all, folks!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
— The beginning song is so dumb that I am embarrassed for everyone involved. “I hope the cast of Lost can find their seats inside …” Stupid. — Eric Bana is smokin’ hot. — Queen Latifah – you’re kind of … Continue reading