{"id":4662,"date":"2006-03-27T13:55:54","date_gmt":"2006-03-27T18:55:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=4662"},"modified":"2006-03-27T13:55:54","modified_gmt":"2006-03-27T18:55:54","slug":"babysitting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=4662","title":{"rendered":"Babysitting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;. <a href=\"http:\/\/badnewshughes.blogspot.com\/2006\/03\/diary-of-indignities-he-only-killed.html\">by Patrick Hughes<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Nanoseconds after hearing the parents\u0092 car leave the driveway, I\u0092d bellow \u0093KUNG FU!!!\u0094 at the top of my lungs and me and the kids would commence to lightly kicking each other in the face for an hour or two, until they were either exhausted or unconscious, and I could just chuck \u0091em in bed and commence to the good stuff: the sweet spot between beddy-bye and parental return where I made good money gorging on snacks, hunting for the porno stash, and soaking up that sweet, sweet cable TV with no adult oversight. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>But <a href=\"http:\/\/badnewshughes.blogspot.com\/2006\/03\/diary-of-indignities-he-only-killed.html\">here&#8217;s the whole thing<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;. by Patrick Hughes. Nanoseconds after hearing the parents\u0092 car leave the driveway, I\u0092d bellow \u0093KUNG FU!!!\u0094 at the top of my lungs and me and the kids would commence to lightly kicking each other in the face for an &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=4662\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=4662\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}