I got caught out in a monsoon yesterday. I was 5 minutes from my house. I had gone to the post office. Here is what I saw as I walked:<\/p>\n
A shining blue sky over Manhattan
\nA black sky over my town – there was literally a line – where the black started and the blue stopped.<\/p>\n
The clouds were huge, sludgy-looking, with a sickly greenish tinge.<\/p>\n
Something big was coming.<\/p>\n
But hey, I live in the present, baby, so I sashayed forth in my fluttery gauze skirt and my brand new clogs and I did not carry an umbrella!<\/p>\n
On the way back from the post office, I literally could feel the mugginess of the air leave – as though a balloon had been punctured – and a whoosh of cold refreshing wind raced over me. Needless to say, this was the harbinger of a MAJOR FECKIN’ MONSOON … but did I care? No. I stood there, in my gauze skirt, and my new clogs … enjoying the cool cool wind.<\/p>\n
Which is when all hell broke loose.<\/p>\n
The rain was so heavy it was like billowing silver curtains of sheer water. I could not see. Floods raged through the street, and the grates on every corner became literal fountains gushing up and out.<\/p>\n
I ran for cover. My gauze skirt became extremely problematic (read: skintight and see through) and my clogs became so waterlogged that my feet kept falling out of them. Lovely!<\/p>\n
The awning of the deli nearby was my destination … so I ran, slipping out of my clogs, battered by the billowing silver curtains … completely unprotected … and suddenly – during my mad skintight-skirted dash – water pounding against my face in buckets – I suddenly realized that my damn contact lenses had literally washed out of my eyeballs<\/i>.<\/p>\n
That was how hard the rain was.<\/p>\n
It flooded into my eyeballs and washed my lenses out into the flooding waters on the street.<\/p>\n
All I could do was laugh. I stood under the awning and waited for the rain to stop being a solid substance battering down. I waited 20 minutes. I was now blind as a bat. I was beyond soaked. I had basically become a liquid substance myself. My contact lenses were careening towards Manhattan, far far away from my eyeballs.<\/p>\n
So whatever. Life is too short, and the rain looked like it would never let up. So I stepped out from beneath the awning, the world a silver-drenched blur to me, and staunchly walked home. Through the battering silver curtain. Struggling to keep my clogs on my damn SOAKED feet.<\/p>\n
The damage done to my clothes and my shoes is beyond description. My skirt will never be the same again.<\/p>\n
The silver curtain actually continues on outside my window. This morning there was a mild misty let-up and I did a ton of errands – pharmacy, post office again, candle shop, grocery … through the cold misty morning … I made it home … and now there’s once again a battering ram of a silver curtain going on outside.<\/p>\n
I have never before had contact lenses flow out of my eyes, unannounced.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I got caught out in a monsoon yesterday. I was 5 minutes from my house. I had gone to the post office. Here is what I saw as I walked: A shining blue sky over Manhattan A black sky over … Continue reading