{"id":5137,"date":"2006-07-30T09:16:37","date_gmt":"2006-07-30T13:16:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=5137"},"modified":"2010-11-07T21:12:15","modified_gmt":"2010-11-08T02:12:15","slug":"this-is-for-bills-amusement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=5137","title":{"rendered":"Date With Destiny (This Is For Bill\u2019s Amusement)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scene<\/strong>: 1787, a smoke-filled tavern, New York. Sheila, in modern-day dress, enters. Her pupils are dilated from excitement. She strolls through, looking around. Powdered wigs. Tin mugs, with foam dripping down the side. Candles sputtering black smoke. She is the only woman there. Crowds of men stand around talking and carousing and interrupting and arguing. Then – she sees him. Standing in conversation in the back. She recognizes him immediately. She recognizes the ruddy face, the bright eyes. He has a glitter to him that the other men do not have. She has read about that glitter. And there it is. Right in front of her. It is unmistakeable. The books did not lie. Shyly, she approaches. He turns, and sees her. <\/p>\n

Once she starts talking, she cannot stop. It is mortifying, and yet she cannot help herself.<\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: Oh, Mr. Hamilton. I have waited so long for this moment. You don’t know me – I’m from the future. I’m an American – and – well – everything that you’re working on right now – everything you’re fighting for, and fighting about – well, I just want you to know that I am living in the country that you planned, that you dreamt up. You saw so far ahead – and I’m telling you – so much of what you imagined has come to pass. (Sheila laughs in a manic and disturbing manner. She is overly excited<\/em>.) I just wanted you to know that I so admire you, even though you were kind of insane, and – I just wondered how you did it. How did you write so much? How did you just KNOW certain things? Where does that kind of intelligence come from? Jefferson’s gonna get all the glory – for a long while. I really should warn you about that. Is John Adams here? Because he should be warned as well – I know that’s gonna piss him off – but anyway – even though Jefferson’s the golden boy, in terms of posterity – you should just know that I think you’re the bomb. I really do. Even though Abigail Adams despised you. I have so many questions to ask you. I have so much I want to say. Sorry to bother you …I am sure you’re really busy right now – it’s 1787 after all – but do you have, like, 5 or 10 minutes to give me? I MUST interview you – I have a list of questions.<\/p>\n

There is a long pause. Hamilton stares at Sheila. He then leans forward, and awkwardly, kind of stumbles a bit. Sheila smells the liquor on his breath. He holds out his mug.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: (slurring words)<\/em> You’ve got slammin’ knockers.<\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: Uhm … thanks?<\/p>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: (throwing his arm around her<\/em>) Bitch, you’re hot.<\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: But … but … The Federalist Papers<\/em> …<\/p>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: Federalist Shmederalist. Let’s knock boots.<\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: I … I’ve come such a long way … is Madison here? Maybe I can talk to him?<\/p>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: Madison’s a fucking bore. <\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: I only have limited time here, and I have so much to ask you about! And the Duel – Oh. Wait. You don’t know about that yet. Forget I said that. <\/p>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: Let’s PARTY!<\/p>\n

Sheila<\/strong>: Really? That’s it? I must take a moment to tell you that you must NEVER, under any circumstances, go to Weehawken.<\/p>\n

Hamilton<\/strong>: Are your boobs real?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene: 1787, a smoke-filled tavern, New York. Sheila, in modern-day dress, enters. Her pupils are dilated from excitement. She strolls through, looking around. Powdered wigs. Tin mugs, with foam dripping down the side. Candles sputtering black smoke. She is the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[33],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5137"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29858,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137\/revisions\/29858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}