Okay – so awhile ago – somehow I mentioned my disdain for what I call “backrub boys”. I think it was in the comments section to some post … and a huge discussion ensued about “backrub boys” and what they are, and who they are, and why girls hate them so much.<\/p>\n
And now – Patrick Hughes – funniest writer on the Web – has come out with his latest <\/a>– basically describing the trauma of seeing Burnt Offerings<\/i> as a kid … but within his essay – he PERFECTLY DESCRIBES the NASTINESS of the “backrub boy”.<\/p>\n He gets it! He knows EXACTLY what I am talking about!! And a couple of readers here got a bit defensive during MY talking about “backrub boys” … which just tells me that they are, themselves, “backrub boys” … So I read Patrick’s latest and just laughed out loud in triumph and glee!!<\/p>\n Here’s the pertinent excerpt – but please: go read the whole thing<\/a>!!!<\/p>\n Anyway, the movie Burnt Offerings was invented in 1976 in order to traumatize sensitive young innocent children such as myself. I was seven years old that year, an age that, like the Puerto Rican incident and her marriage to my pop, also fell into Mom\u0092s pre-sapphic era. This isn\u0092t really significant for any specifically lesbionic reasons or anything, but Mom\u0092s lifestyle was pretty different before the switcheroo, so in those days I would get stuck with babysitters a lot while Mom did her single thing, working and partying it up all weekend with terrible Doug Henning-type righteous \u009170s dudes.<\/p>\n I suspect it was my early exposure to these dudes that resulted in a lifelong aversion to Doug Henning, whole wheat bread, mustaches, mellow vibes, magic tricks, jam sessions, rainbow suspenders, natural fibers, music with flutes, turquoise jewelry, Steely Dan albums and sandals, although I must admit for a brief period (the 1980s) I did enjoy their marijuana a great deal.<\/p>\n God damn, come to think of it, fuck Doug Henning-type mellow \u009170s dudes. Fuck their Dan Fogelberg 8-tracks, fuck earth tones, fuck tasty guitar licks, fuck that Jonathan Livingston Seagull book and fuck all that running free with the wind on the beach at sunset jive. Ladies, don\u0092t be taken in by the friendly relaxing backrubs of the Doug Henning-type dude. These backrubs are not really meant to relax you as much as just relax your pussy armor, ugh.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n AMEN.<\/p>\n But can we also just take a moment to revel in how funny his writing is. The “jam sessions” being included … it’s just perfect. I love him.<\/p>\n Warning: Huge creepy photo of Doug Henning in that post. I can barely look at it without shivering in the shame that only a child who grew up in the 1970s can feel.<\/p>\n Go read the whole thing<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Okay – so awhile ago – somehow I mentioned my disdain for what I call “backrub boys”. I think it was in the comments section to some post … and a huge discussion ensued about “backrub boys” and what they … Continue reading