My huge extended family is planning a gathering at a beach in Massachusetts called Horseneck. There are about 40 people copied on the emails. At first, the emails were strictly information: Where, When, etc. Then, on July 4th, the mayhem began with a joke from my brother. Someone responded. Someone responded to that. 40 people all appeared to be online at the same time. It was hard to keep up with what was happening. I love how some people clearly missed out on the beginning of the joke, and then signed on to see 19 emails waiting for them, read through the whole thread, and then threw their cap into the ring with a joke. This is all very stupid, and very US, and it clearly could have gone on for days. Here is the thread, as best as I can recreate it.<\/p>\n
Brendan<\/strong>: Siobhan<\/strong>: Aunt Katy:<\/strong> Uncle Tim:<\/strong> Aunt Anne: <\/strong> Just neighing in\u2026<\/p>\n Cousin Olivia:<\/strong> Cousin Jay:<\/strong> Great-Aunt Joan:<\/strong> Cousin Kelly: <\/strong> Me<\/strong>: Aunt Katy:<\/strong> Uncle Tim<\/strong>: Uncle Tim:<\/strong> Aunt Katy:<\/strong> Uncle Tim:<\/strong> Me<\/strong>: Cousin Kelly:<\/strong> Me<\/strong>: Aunt Katy:<\/strong> Cousin Cecily:<\/strong> Cousin Kathleen:<\/strong> Me<\/strong>: Cousin Kelly:<\/strong> Aunt Katy:<\/strong> Aunt Maryann:<\/strong> Cousin Jay:<\/strong> Cousin Olivia:<\/strong> Jean<\/strong>: Brendan<\/strong>: Cousin Jay:<\/strong> Me<\/strong>: Jean<\/strong>: Brendan<\/strong>: Cousin Cecily:<\/strong> Cousin Susan’s husband Ed chimes in:<\/strong> Cousin Lisa:<\/strong> Cousin Kelly:<\/strong> Aunt Katy:<\/strong> My huge extended family is planning a gathering at a beach in Massachusetts called Horseneck. There are about 40 people copied on the emails. At first, the emails were strictly information: Where, When, etc. Then, on July 4th, the mayhem … Continue reading
\nI am allergic to horsenecks.<\/p>\n
\nIs it their dander?<\/p>\n
\nNeigh, ’tis not.<\/p>\n
\nQuite a swishy tale (tail) you tell.<\/p>\n
\nDander is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
\nStraight from the hortney\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n
\nEquine figure out which horse pun to use…<\/p>\n
\nUnfortunately, I will be back in the saddle flying that day…<\/p>\n
\nYou\u2019re all crazy! But what fun! Especially to figure out who\u2019s who! And JT, didn\u2019t know or didn\u2019t remember that you\u2019re married, Jay! Be careful on that saddle! Congrats! And love \u2018n prayers to ya\u2019ll! Aunt Joan (O\u2019Brien)<\/p>\n
\nGosh it feels like we haven’t been to Horseneck in a “yearling”! We will be there for a “bit”…Looking forward to seeing everyone!!<\/p>\n
\nIt beHOOVES me to say I am sorry I can’t make it.<\/p>\n
\nI’m gonna be there, but not furlong.<\/p>\n
\nAnd I will leave a bit earlier.<\/p>\n
\nDaughter Kelly stole my line. I did not mean to stir up trouble.<\/p>\n
\nTim, I reckon it sounds like yer tryin’ to stirrup some trouble…<\/p>\n
\nOMG, I beat u to the stirrup by 15 seconds. We have to rein this in. <\/p>\n
\nwell, don’t jump the gun now!<\/p>\n
\nReally, do whatever Behooves you!<\/p>\n
\nThe most important thing is is that we all reMANE calm.<\/p>\n
\n(Just a brief aside to comment that none of us seem to have anything to do on this fourth of july holiday. Hardy har har.) Note: no horse pun contained in this email. Shit. (oops! there’s one)<\/p>\n
\nGetting to Horseneck will be a CINCH but keeping up with these unBRIDLED and clever emails is the tricky part.<\/p>\n
\nLet us know if anyones wants to hitch a ride from the south shore….<\/p>\n
\nthat’s very nice, but I don’t want to saddle anyone else with my baggage.<\/p>\n
\nI just CANTer decide whether to wear my bathingsuit on the ride to Horseneck, or change when I get there?<\/p>\n
\nWhy don’t you just trot out your new birthday suit?<\/p>\n
\nI sure hope someone remembers to CRACK THE WHIP and figure out who\u2019s bringin the FEED!<\/p>\n
\nDo you want us to pony up some dough for that feed?<\/p>\n
\nI picked a bad day to quit reading.<\/p>\n
\nYou guys better rein it in…<\/p>\n
\nAll this jockeying for position is making me feel like there’s a 78 pound man on my back.<\/p>\n
\nI might have blinders on, but woooooooah this is funny!<\/p>\n
\nOh, forget it. We’re just horsing around.<\/p>\n
\nDoesn’t matter if you WIN this horsey debate which is all over the PLACE…as long as you SHOW up to the beach!<\/p>\n
\nI might not be able to make the Horseneck party…let me check my schedule with my secretariat.<\/p>\n
\nOh jeez, I guess I’ll have another…crack at this, why not?<\/p>\n
\nSadly, i have to pull the TRIGGER and say that ed and susan can’t make it from ohio.<\/p>\n
\nBUMMER…we will all miss Susan and “Mr. Ed!”<\/p>\n
\nWINNY are these silly horse referencing emails going to end?!<\/p>\n
\nWhen we all finally ‘geddap’ and do something else.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"