{"id":5626,"date":"2006-11-22T12:48:36","date_gmt":"2006-11-22T17:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=5626"},"modified":"2024-10-27T18:15:56","modified_gmt":"2024-10-27T22:15:56","slug":"personal-ads-for-self-deprecating-british-intellectuals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=5626","title":{"rendered":"Personal Ads for Self-Deprecating British intellectuals"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, so I have written before <\/a>about my undying love for the personal ads in the London Review of Books<\/a><\/i>. They are addictive <\/i>. More addictive than “missed connections<\/a>” on Craig’s List (and woah. Those are like crack.) But the personals in LRB<\/i> are true comedy. First of all, these people are literate – just because of where they’re placing their ad – so they all can write. You can just feel the humor in their language. But it’s LITERATE humor. Anyone who’s tried to plow through people writing “funny” ads on Match.com and elsewhere – trying to show they have a witty sense of humor – will immediately know what I’m talking about. Also – these people in the LRB<\/i> personals seem to compete with one another as to who can be the MOST self-deprecating, and self-loathing. These ads are even funnier than the whole Brutally Honest Personals <\/a> feature at Esquire<\/i> – which is also hysterical reading. (You know. Like this ad<\/a>). I mean, come on. But all of them are hilarious. <\/p>\n

But back to LRB<\/i>: I laugh out loud almost every time I go see what’s going on there. Nothing like the humor of the self-deprecating Brits. Think about the language of the personal ads in America … how earnest they can be, how braggadocious (“I’m good-looking, great body, I own 10 jet-skis, and I adore good wine”) … You know, that kind of self-promotional language … and then compare to an ad like this:<\/p>\n

Young, charming, thoughtful, attractive, sporty, zesty, intelligent. None of these are me, but if you\u0092d like to spend an afternoon or more considering alternative adjectives to be applied to 53-year old cantankerous dipshit, write now to box no 2202<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I CANNOT GET ENOUGH of this crap.<\/p>\n

Here’s another one:<\/p>\n

A friend once bought me a pair of novelty underpants that had a caption on the front reading \u0091In case of fire break glass\u0092. I didn\u0092t understand what it meant until they did actually catch fire in the tumble dryer because they were acrylic and I had the setting on too high. The door melted shut and sure enough I had to break the glass to put the fire out. Replacement dryers are very expensive. As such I would like to meet a nice woman who won\u0092t set fire to my underpants. Stupid, stupid man, 51. Box no. 2206<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I adore these people.<\/p>\n

Uhm:<\/p>\n

Must enjoy computer battleships, segregated bathrooms and respect my mother by wearing clothes just like hers (cavalry twill, mainly.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You know, visiting the personals section of the LRB<\/i> is a weekly pitstop. It always makes me laugh.<\/p>\n

So imagine my happiness to read that David Rose, head of advertising for LRB, has compiled his favorites into a book: They Call Me Naughty Lola: Personal Ads from the London Review of Books<\/a>\"\"<\/i>.<\/p>\n

I must own this book. It will be one of those books in my collection which I can dip into on blue days, pick up at any point and read to get a good laugh.<\/p>\n

Here’s an article in the NY Times<\/i> about the book<\/a> . One excerpt from the article:<\/p>\n

The magazine\u0092s lonely hearts have described themselves over the years as shallow, flatulent, obsessive, incontinent, hypertensive, hostile, older than 100, paranoid, pasty, plaid-festooned, sinister-looking, advantage-taking, amphetamine-fueled, and as residents of mental institutions.<\/p>\n

They have announced that they are suffering from liver disease, from drug addiction, from asthma, from compulsive gambling, from unclassified skin complaints and from reduced sperm counts. They have insulted prospective partners. As one ad starts, \u0093I\u0092ve divorced better men than you.\u0094 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HAHAHAHA I just can’t get enough of this stuff.<\/p>\n

Like there is an entire STORY behind this personal:<\/p>\n

A woman in the current issue, for instance, specifies that she is looking for a man \u0093who doesn\u0092t name his genitals after German chancellors\u0094 (not even, the ad says, \u0093Prince Chlodwig zu Hohenlohe-Schillingf\u00fcrst, however admirable the independence he gave to secretaries of state may have been.\u0094) <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I can’t stop laughing.<\/p>\n

These personal ads have “resulted in at least two children and four marriages. (One already ended in divorce.)”<\/p>\n

Genius.<\/p>\n