{"id":6010,"date":"2007-02-14T14:53:34","date_gmt":"2007-02-14T19:53:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=6010"},"modified":"2022-10-12T13:32:32","modified_gmt":"2022-10-12T17:32:32","slug":"19971998-acting-notebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=6010","title":{"rendered":"1997\/1998 Acting Notebook"},"content":{"rendered":"

A continuation from this<\/a>. I’ve gotten a lot of emails and personal comments about these notebooks – people appreciating them, and feeling inspired by them. So here’s another notebook, picking up where that last one left off. It’s devastating too because I begin rehearsals for the Macbeth In Half an Hour <\/a>monstrosity. I shiver in remembrance.<\/p>\n

I had so many different projects going on – that I think the notes I kept was my way of keeping myself on track. I probably would not need to take such detailed notes now. But God – it all just rushes back to me, seeing all of this.<\/p>\n

PD Unit<\/u>
\nHello Out There – Sam: “2 damaged people find a moment of magic.”<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/6 Classics<\/u>
\nRent: Rob Roy<\/u> – study Tim Roth. His manners. Negotiating status.<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/11 Classics<\/u>
\n“hidden direction” in Shakespeare’s verse<\/p>\n

Hamlet’s speech to the players: Live by it.<\/p>\n

What is your intention?
\nTo get onto the stage, dear boy. – Sir John Gielgud<\/p>\n

“instinctive apprehension of situations” – on Elizabethan actors<\/p>\n

1st scene in Merchant<\/u> – “Ham it up a bit”<\/p>\n

“Theatre is nature highly organized.” – Ben Kingsley<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/11 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

“The PD … boring or otherwise …” – Sam<\/p>\n

“While she’s making all this $ on a soap opera, she can do her creepy parts off-Broadway.” – Sam<\/p>\n

“Don’t try to pull yourself together. Fall apart.” – Sam to K.<\/p>\n

“I feel like a two-bit whore. Next!” – Sam<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/13 Classics<\/u><\/p>\n

My monologue: don’t lie! Keep it simple. Let it go. Plow right through the list – don’t linger. Get it out.<\/p>\n

Beware of parallel choices, in terms of preparation.<\/p>\n

Doug on Ernie Martin: “He ran Actors Studio West with so much love” –<\/p>\n

Stimulus – response
\nMethod: create the stimulus<\/u> – not the response<\/u>. Pavlov’s Dogs, etc.<\/p>\n

Doug on inner thought processes of actors: “I’m not a good actor … I can’t create … my mom and dad will withhold love …”<\/p>\n

Create a situation where you do what the character does.<\/u><\/p>\n

Doug: “I don’t think Polonius ever speaks in prose. He was born<\/u> speaking in verse. He probably cried in verse.”<\/p>\n

Doug, on engraving of William Shakespeare: “I mean, this guy looks like a dork.”<\/p>\n

“We made out inappropriately … and then he had a moment …” – Leslie, on Ophelia’s speech about Hamlet attacking her<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/13 German Lullaby rehearsal<\/u>
\nHow long has Polly been gone?
\nHow overdue is she?
\nIt’s 3 a.m.
\nSomething’s wrong and I know it.
\nAnxiety.
\nSmoking?<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/18 Classics<\/u><\/p>\n

We speak in sound bytes and subtext.<\/p>\n

Doug: “Get into a state where you release all of who you are so that control is not an issue.”<\/p>\n

Doug: “That’s the risk. That’s the job.”<\/p>\n

Doug: “Do everything you’re scared to do. Go crazy!”<\/p>\n

Over-acting is doing more than you feel.<\/p>\n

Doug, on failed love: “You may be able to deal with it better, but you don’t get over it. You have a hole in your heart forever.”<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/18 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

After the Fall<\/u> – just relax. Speak. Don’t do more than you feel. Be open.<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/20 Classics<\/u><\/p>\n

“Shakespeare scares you? Why should you teach yourself to run from these things?” – Doug<\/p>\n

Incorporate rhetoric into truthful behavior.<\/p>\n

If you get the thoughts right, you’ll start doing what the character does.<\/u><\/p>\n

Balanchine’s favorite dancers were the ones who spun into walls. Not so careful, not so aware of where they were.<\/p>\n

Robin Williams\/Jim Carrey – fearless. Moment to moment. Literally second to second expressing what is in their heads.<\/p>\n

“Gentle! God! You can call me anything but don’t call me gentle!” – John describing a fellow spear-carrier’s improvisation during a production of Julius Caesar<\/u> – they all called him the “Gentle God guy”<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/25 Classics<\/u><\/p>\n

Doug: “So how was that for you?”
\nEileen: “I had fun … for a chance.<\/p>\n

!! Always make the choice that the character is as smart as you or smarter. You may be playing an idiot<\/u> – but he is negotiating life to the best of his facilities.<\/p>\n

Every character has a hidden agenda or secret. Meryl Street in Bridges of Madison County<\/u> – her secret was she never loved her husband. Make the secret as a conscious choice – and then let it do its work. Use this in As You Like It<\/u>. I love him. I’m a woman.<\/p>\n

“I just gotta get thru the scene.” – Al Pacino<\/p>\n

“What’s it about?” – Doug to Amanda, on her book called Trusting God<\/u>
\n“It’s about herb gardens.” – Amanda<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/25 Macbeth<\/u>
\nTry the speech like a telegram<\/u> – look for only the operative words
\nWhat are the most important words to get across the message<\/p>\n

\n

\n11\/25 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

“I don’t think it’s self-indulgent unless it’s self-indulgent.” – Sam on crying in stage<\/p>\n

Loss. Immediate sensory responses?
\nWTC bombing.<\/p>\n

“Tom?”
\n“Never mind.”<\/p>\n

K. says that everything<\/u> is a “double-edged sword”. He uses that phrase all the time. He’s so fucking stupid and he thinks that makes him sound smart. Let’s count how many times he says “double-edged sword” in the next 3 hours.<\/p>\n

“If she’s peeing loudly, that’s a beer-drinkin’ woman.” – Tom<\/p>\n

Eileen: “I know that women are bad lays, too.”<\/p>\n

“Are you a spy from Juilliard?” – Sam to Brenda<\/p>\n

Sam: “The ‘chink in the armor’ is not a racial slur …”<\/p>\n

Lesley began throwing paper airplanes at Christine. Everyone is falling apart.<\/p>\n

Acting in film:
\nThink loud.
\nTalk low.<\/p>\n

Sam: “Every scene is Fight or Fuck. Make a choice. Do you want to fight the person you’re in the scene with? Or do you want to fuck them? Fight of fuck. Choose.”<\/p>\n

“You were doing some oddly inappropriate emotional work …” – Sam to Tom<\/p>\n

“in the hallowed halls of ivy …” – Sam<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/2 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

“I’m totally confused from an organizational point of view.” – Sam<\/p>\n

“Totally uninhibited. No apologies. Go.” – Sam<\/p>\n

Liz: “Every woman in this room has gotten their period –”
\nSam: “I don’t want that kind of talk here.”<\/p>\n

According to D., there is only one play in the world. 2 Trains Running<\/u>. Hamlet? Hedda Gabler? Forget about it. There’s only one goddamn play in the world, apparently.<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/4 Classics<\/u>
\nTell the truth.
\nIf you’re awkward, give it to the audience with no more or no less<\/u> than what you feel.<\/p>\n

Parenthetical: think of it as an aside<\/p>\n

Doug: “Sometimes physicalizing<\/u> it dissipates the impulse to express it in complex long sentences.”<\/p>\n

John: “Should I talk about all of my fears before I start?”<\/p>\n

Heaven stands in for God<\/u> (somtimes) – check the edited editions to see what the consensus was<\/p>\n

Let the verse direct you<\/u><\/p>\n

Words at end of lines (with no punctuation): to be punched, accented, but keep going. The operative words at end of line<\/u>
\nMary had a little lamb<\/u> whose
\nfleece was white as snow<\/u> …<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/4 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

“Do you want to speak, Richard, or are you just breathing?” – Sam<\/p>\n

Brenda told Sam that she is a soprano. Sam said, “I don’t care what you call yourself, your high notes stink.”<\/p>\n

“Life is short. Keep moving.” – Sam<\/p>\n

Brenda: “Should I use my body?”
\nSam: “If you don’t use it, I will.”<\/p>\n

Sam on Method acting: “I’m flopping around honestly in my moments.”<\/p>\n

Sam: “The punchline is ‘The cocksuckers are throwing paper clips’ – so you can work your way backwards from there.”<\/p>\n

I am so sick at heart today for some reason. I hurt all over. My heart hurts. I want to get out of here<\/u><\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/9 Classics<\/u>
\n“It came and went … but it kept going<\/u>.” – Leslie<\/p>\n

Cover yourself with the choices you made.<\/p>\n

Everything is useful<\/u>.<\/p>\n

Leslie and Amanda – Juliet and the Nurse
\nobstacles<\/u> in the scene. “Peter, stay at gate.”
\n“Where is your mother?”<\/p>\n

“saying goodbye” – Leslie<\/p>\n

Tom “To be or not to be”
\nmusical notes.
\n1st line: The actor knows his action from the 1st line, 11 beats
\nQuestion (capitalized): That is the Quest<\/u>-ion. Search<\/u>.
\nWhether ’tis<\/u> – contractions<\/u> are rhetorical figures of speech<\/p>\n

Tom: “I’m like racin’ ahead on this shit.”<\/p>\n

Tom: “So should I take it back to the same tired part of the thing?”<\/p>\n

Doug: Sublimate means to take your pain, and to make it sublime.<\/p>\n

“The demon is smiling because it’s being exposed.” – Doug to G.<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/9 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

If you really go after your objective, that takes care of the pacing.<\/p>\n

“If you 2 ever decide to start a theatre company … count me in.” – Sam<\/p>\n

“Go out, say the line, and get the hell off.” – Sam<\/p>\n

“They need you to go Ping when it comes up<\/u>.” – Sam on playing the triangle in a huge orchestra<\/p>\n

Have you read about Jack Nicholson on the Terms of Endearment set?<\/p>\n

“If Alaska is germane<\/u> to your piece …” – Leslie<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/9 Macbeth<\/u><\/p>\n

Gene: “Don’t take anything for granted when you’re fucking with witches.”<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/11 Classics<\/u>
\nTaming of the Shrew<\/u> – Doug told me after I stole his heart. Hugged me after class. “And you … you stole my heart.”<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/11 PD Unit<\/u>
\n“I hate it when I don’t get jokes.” – Elena<\/p>\n

There’s something weird going on today.<\/p>\n

Cosmology<\/u>. Meryl Streep in House of Spirits<\/p>\n

Sam: “Trust yourself. Don’t be conservative. Go out on a limb.”<\/p>\n

Kara: “There’s something almost superior to people who are spiritually intact.”<\/p>\n

Sam: “It’s always a mistake for an actor to fight his own instrument. It is like a violin saying, ‘I wish I was a piano.'”<\/p>\n

“Get Strasberg out of your ass and think about somebody else for a second!” – Sam<\/p>\n

“You can’t be like – ‘I’m not ready for the moment to end’ …” – Sam on being in Les Miz<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/12 Gertrude Down rehearsal<\/u>
\nwarehouse
\noutskirts of huge metropolis
\nBlade Runner
\nMorning After
\nGlengarry Glen Ross
\nReservoir Dogs<\/p>\n

Gertrude: knowledge.
\nHow do you get to Gertrude? The little piece of paper from Gertrude means you’re set<\/u><\/p>\n

Vix: like Michael Madsen. Cool<\/u> She is the only character who speaks correctly, with proper grammar.<\/p>\n

The allegiance of thieves
\nTerritory. Struggle for power
\nAggression – get what you want<\/p>\n

Lenny’s a loose cannon<\/p>\n

Chain of command:
\nGertrude
\n|
\nHer crew
\n______________________
\n|
\nVix
\n|
\nBeadie
\n|
\nHuff
\n|
\nLenny
\n|
\nDimples<\/p>\n

Vix: am I gay?
\n“I took an oath” ??<\/p>\n

Huff deliverws the plans
\nMargharitte: who is she<\/u>?<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/16 PD Unit<\/u><\/p>\n

“Is that that long-lost play by Chekhov?” – Sam<\/p>\n

“I’m a little afraid of my boss.” – Barbara<\/p>\n

Hamlet to the players: Do not saw the air.<\/p>\n

\n

\n12\/16 Gertrude Down<\/u>
\nMargheritte: did she used to be one of us? Are we missing someone?<\/p>\n

I want to break the patterns<\/u> of my life.<\/p>\n

The library: do we normally meet in the library? Leaving messages in books, periodicals? Is Gertrude a librarian?<\/p>\n

Whatever my relationship is with Margheritte (lovers?) – it determines how I see Beadie<\/p>\n

\n

\nAfter the Fall: Notes<\/u>
\nCenter of attention
\nLight seems to come from her
\nShe glows
\nShe laughs in the center of her circle of light and love
\nShe looks like an ordinary girl – became American dream girl – she had to dream herself up
\nChampagne, silver coloring
\nShe feels the image – lives it. I become my own fantasy
\nRestless and alive
\nThe Misfits: across breakfast table from Clark Gable. She looks at him and says, “You really like me, don’t you?”
\nWalks like a cat in a new house
\nShe is possessable<\/u> – men sense it
\na wild spirit –
\nlike meringue – alabaster –
\nInnocent. “Here was a girl you’d think would be super aware of guys coming onto her – and she went right past that into another space – far more childlike and interesting.”
\nModest<\/u>
\nI’d rather be a symbol for SEX than some of the other things people are symbols for<\/u>
\nOrphan.
\nSex is not a dirty word to her – it is others who make it dirty. By itself, it is the purest thing in the world.
\nShe was able to walk into a crowded room and spot anyone who had spent time in orphanages. “Do you like me?” in the eyes – an appeal out of bottomless loneliness<\/p>\n

\n

\nPD Unit<\/u>
\nI love how Sam interrupts scenes.<\/p>\n

Sam: “So I saw that you had such ecstatic oneness with the part that you were barely in the room with us.”<\/p>\n

Sam: “The scene lays a royal egg. And I’m thinking: This is not what Stanislavski had in mind.”<\/p>\n

\n

\nAfter the Fall: Notes<\/u>
\nHer footprints on a beach are a straight line – this throws pelvis in motion.
\nOnly understands literal truth<\/u>. Nuance and irony are lost on her.
\nRaped
\nSense of humor collapses when painful images come up
\nLudicrously provocative in how she dresses.
\nee cummings poem: laughs in thoroughly unaffected way at “it’s spring!” – lame balloon man – naive wonder
\nSurrounded by darkness
\nShe senses she is doomed
\nShe never had the right to her own sadness
\nNo faith
\nSees all men as boys with needs for her to fulfill – she just stands aside observing herself
\nFrigid sexually. No orgasms.
\nMen = their need
\nShe is incapable of condemning other people
\nHas no common sense
\nShe knows that men only want happy girls.
\nShe likes old men. Aged men evoke in her an intense awareness of her own power – it turns to pity, love – this is security
\nYawning terror
\nunrelenting uncertainty
\ncan’t rest or sleep – addicted to pills, bourbon
\nadores children and old people – everybody else is dangerous and have to be disarmed by her sexuality
\nGiven power over others by mysterious common consent – no one knows why
\nquick to laugh
\nshe demands a hero
\ncrazy nobility
\nuncanny instinct for threat – no reserves to withstand it
\nBotticelli’s Venus
\ndoesn’t believe in her own innocence
\ncursed by her mother<\/p>\n

Remember how she listens<\/u> in Bus Stop<\/p>\n

\n

\nAfter the Fall: Notes<\/u>
\nQuentin’s quest for connection to his own life
\nTenuousness of human connection
\nSuddenly – after being loved – you can be thrown into the street – abolished
\nPlay is in the form of a confession
\nMaggie: seeming truth-bearer
\nQuentin: constricted, mind-bound – looks to her for the revival of his life
\nMiller searching for a form that would unearth the dynamics of denial
\nUnstated question in Camus’ book: not how to live with a bad conscience – but how to find out why one went to another’s rescue – only to help in his defeat by collaborating in obscuring reality<\/p>\n

Camus’ The Fall<\/u>:
\nabout trouble with women – but this is overshadowed by the male narrator’s concentration on ethics
\nHow can one ever judge another person once one has committed the act of indifference to a stranger’s call for help?<\/p>\n

The play: stream of consciousness, abrupt disappearances, verges on montage
\nSurvivor Guilt<\/u><\/p>\n

\n

\nAfter the Fall: Fact Sheet<\/u>
\nI work at the switchboard of a law firm in NY
\nThey don’t allow dogs where I live. Is it a hotel? SRO?
\nI don’t have a refrigerator
\nJust bought a phonograph – paying in installments – I only have one record (what record is it?)
\n“They laugh. I’m a joke to them.” They\/Them: Men
\n“I had about 10 or 20 records in Washington but my friend got sick and I had to leave.” What does that mean?<\/u> Washington? What’s that about?
\nJudge Cruise – dying – I tried to say goodbye – Family offered me $1000 – Alexander the chauffeur drove me out to his grave
\nI left Judge a couple times, but he didn’t want me to leave
\nUsed to demonstrate hair preparations in department stores
\nSent to conventions – supposed to entertain businessmen – (call girl)
\nI sleep in the park when it’s hot in my room
\nQuentin: “She’s quite stupid, silly kid. She said some ridiculous things. But she wasn’t defending anything, or accusing – she was just there<\/u>, like a tree or a cat.”
\nQuentin: “It would have been easy to make love to her<\/u>.”
\nNever graduated high school
\nI like poetry
\nIn the top 3 as a singer
\nBeing courted by a prince – met him at El Morocco
\n“went up” to see my father – where’s up?
\nMy father left when I was 18 months – said I wasn’t his
\nChristening a submarine in Groton shipyard – public appearances
\nI go to an analyst
\nMother used to get dressed in the closet (modest() and smoke in there. She was very moral. She tried to kill me once with a pillow on my face cause I would turn out bad because of her
\nMasseurs say I have a good back
\nI disguise myself when I go out
\nMy fake name: Miss None. Like nothing. “I can never remember a fake name, so I just have to think of nothing and that’s me.”
\nSex: “I was with a lot of men, but I never got anything for it. It was like charity, see. My analyst said I gave to those in need. Whereas, I’m not an institution …”
\n“She was chewed and spat out by a long line of grinning men.”
\n“You seem to think you owe people whatever they demand.”
\nThe worst thing I ever did: I slept with 2 men on the same day. I am haunted by this.
\nCream puffs, birthday dress, apples
\nTried to die long before I met Quentin
\n“I been killed by a lot of people. Some couldn’t hardly spell.”
\nWho is Frank<\/u>?<\/p>\n

Transition Idea:
\n2nd scene: Bathrobe lying on mattress
\nFlowers
\nDrink\/glasses – one drink already poured
\nI walk out of first scene
\n“Little Girl Blue” plays
\nI am in the new set – lights dim<\/u> – I want to be a sort of silhouette
\nTake off shoes – unbutton dress – take off dress – take off bra – put on robe – tie robe – drink from drink already poured – sit on bed – Quentin enters
\nWhite terricloth robe with hotel insignia – too big<\/u> – it’s important that my pajamas be too big<\/u> – obviously belonging to a man
\nNeed: 50s bra. Half-slip. Or maybe full slip? Like Maggie in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof<\/u>?<\/p>\n

Notes from Mitchell<\/u>:
\nTrust Sheila’s innocence. Don’t try to show her innocence. Trust that it is already there. She is you already. She’s you without your edge.<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/7\/98 After the Fall<\/u>
\nIs Quentin different? What about him is different? What is Quentin<\/u>? Not who?
\nWhy did mom get dressed in the closet? Shame, rigid, repressed – or ashamed of smoking?
\nWhere is my mother now?
\nRefrigerator references: I have no refrigerator in the first scene, and 2 freezers in the second scene
\nWhat is the relationship with my agent? I’m obviously sleeping with him. Or blowjobs in return for professional protection and career management.
\nFocus on Quentin<\/u>. Full focus. Do not get distracted by my own stuff. Eyes always on him. Soak him up<\/u><\/p>\n

Her line of logic<\/u> – like a child.
\nDog – refrigerator.
\nIt makes perfect sense to me<\/u><\/p>\n

Page 5: “Why, they going to fire me now?”<\/p>\n

Open book. “How could I keep a dog?” (Come on, you know my life!)<\/p>\n

Who is Judge Cruze<\/u>?<\/p>\n

“NOW” – in the moment impulsive
\nConscious afterwards (Scuse me about my hair …)<\/p>\n

2nd scene: What<\/u> is frightening me?<\/p>\n

I call Quentin – not expecting him to answer – it is midnight. I ask him Can you come over<\/u>? Why?
\nThe mother story: what is the logic of it? She is “absorbed in her own connections” – what is that about?
\nDoes Maggie know she is smart?
\n“You’re like a god” – what do I mean by this?
\nMy entire life has happened because of him<\/u> – why?
\n“You’re very moral<\/u>” he says to me. No one has ever said that to me before. <\/u><\/p>\n

What do I want from him in this scene?<\/p>\n

“They laughed” – it is a stab in the chest (Betty the Loon) – where is my self-esteem?<\/p>\n

She is not philosophical about herself.<\/p>\n

“I hate the taste” – what do I love about the effect of alcohol? Be specific. Why do I bring it up? How much have I had before this? Is it a martini?<\/p>\n

What would other men in this situation do to me? How would they behave as opposed to Q?<\/u><\/p>\n

Am I testing him at all?
\nI respect him for not making a pass at me – but do I feel rejected too?
\nWhat role dow sex play in my life? What do I get out of it?<\/u><\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/9\/98 After the Fall<\/u><\/p>\n

1st scene: What usually happens in this sort of situation – talking to strange men? It’s not happening her. This surprises me. Who is this man<\/u>?
\n–Dirt from Judge’s grave – why?
\n–What is the relationship with Alexander? Give him a blowjob so that he will take me to the grave
\n— Why did I leave the judge a couple of times?<\/p>\n

2nd scene: Try to use sex to make my panic go away
\nPanic attack
\nNeed for physical contact<\/u> – it makes the bad stuff go away – sex is the only remedy
\nDrunkenness<\/u> – don’t forget she’s drunk<\/p>\n

p. 9: “What did you mean – it gave you a satisfaction?”
\n— where does that come from?
\n— It’s a clear shift in thought – a gear shift<\/p>\n

p. 11 “I don’t know anybody like that” – cover up disappointment – he won’t be staying with me. I did<\/u> call someone, asshole! I called you<\/u>!<\/p>\n

Would you open the closet door? Everything stripped away.<\/p>\n

Do I normally spend my time with men ignoring my fears so I can alleviate theirs?<\/p>\n

It’s okay for you to be a man with me, Quentin<\/u><\/p>\n

2nd scene: If this scene didn’t happen, what would I be doing?
\nMy agent is in Jamaica – am I in his house? Who usually deals with my loneliness and depression and where are they now? Why don’t I call my analyst? Is he in California? Or is Quentin the last person I called? What would have happened if he didn’t answer?<\/p>\n

1st scene: What am I doing in the park? Does it have to do with Judge Cruze’s family?
\nDirt: Have I been carrying it around with me for a while? Did I just come back from the grave?<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/12\/98 Gertrude Down<\/u>
\nDon’t look for approval from anyone<\/u><\/p>\n

Bank heist
\n— Beadie is in the middle of telling the story<\/p>\n

You have to have arrogance to survive in this world<\/p>\n

Down the rope<\/u> – close to Gertrude – Knowledge – Power<\/p>\n

Vix: Narcissist. Self-involved. It’s all about me.<\/p>\n

I’m late to the meeting. Why am I late<\/u>?
\nWe are all operating on different levels of knowlege – Secrets – Everything has meaning<\/p>\n

Don’t get distracted. Be like a lion staring at an unaware zebra.<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/13\/98 Actors Studio Session<\/u>
\nEstelle Parsons moderating<\/p>\n

1st scene: director Pete Masterson
\nTom and Kelly
\nOkay, what is happening in this scene? Is this an improv? What is the objective?
\nActing on your impuluses only<\/u> is not acting. Remember John Strasberg<\/u>. I’m just seeing impulse<\/u> going on.
\nRelationship?
\nHer gum?<\/p>\n

Pete: letting the actors explore the scene. This is beginning work.<\/p>\n

God, you really just have to be so honest up there. Don’t pull your punches – don’t defend – talk about your choices<\/u><\/p>\n

How do you effectively<\/u> say what you worked on.<\/p>\n

Arthur Penn’s here too.<\/p>\n

How to talk about your work without just talking about the plot, or explaining the script.<\/p>\n

Estelle: “You talk about him<\/u>, you talk about the play<\/u> … what about you?”<\/p>\n

*What did you work on today?<\/u>*<\/p>\n

Just answer the ?
\nI feel like she judges the character. I feel like she thinks the character is stupid.<\/p>\n

Estelle: “A lot of the work was very general.”<\/p>\n

Harvey Keitel is moderating on Jan. 27<\/p>\n

2nd scene – improv
\nHe belches. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Belch. “You motherfucker.”<\/p>\n

“You’re a fuckin’ fruitcake, you know that?”<\/p>\n

“Whatsa matter, guru?”<\/p>\n

“You don’t know, Mr. Skirt Man, what I’m gonna do to you.”<\/p>\n

“Let’s see what it does to me. Don’t impose. And I really succeeded in that.”<\/p>\n

“I did not trust my own quiet. I didn’t trust that I didn’t want to speak.”<\/p>\n

Arthur Penn: “That was so intensely joyful to watch. I could have stayed here for days. I could have had sandwiches brought in.”<\/p>\n

I am in love with him!!
\nNow that<\/u> is an actor.<\/p>\n

“My character has a problem.”<\/p>\n

“Well, I’ve been known to make weak chocies.”<\/p>\n

“Well, when you put it that way ……” Laughter. “Always nice talking wtih you, Arthur.”<\/p>\n

If you try to avoid cliches … you go into Cliche-Land.<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/14\/98 After the Fall: Notes<\/u>
\nI’ve always wanted people to see me<\/u>, the real person
\nYou know why I make fun of myself? So I’ll do it before they do. That way it’s not so bad, doesn’t hurt so much. It’s either commit suicide or laugh.
\nGemini<\/u>
\nhold nothing back.
\n“She personalized the whole world.”
\nMonroe freaked out once about eating a chicken – started weeping: “It had a mother.” Intense identification with animals.
\nNo shame<\/u>
\nShe could be so subverient and helpless and yet she wound up dominating everyone
\nHer life was like a war zone.
\nShe was parasitic. Take take take take. Demand. Live off the juice of others.
\nShe’s a good liar.
\nLife is balck and white – all or nothing – life is intense. She never forgets, and never forgives.
\nObsessed with finding Freudian theories for everything.<\/p>\n

countless abortions
\nrapes
\nno self-consciousness about her body
\nnot a material girl<\/p>\n

* What would happen if she allowed herself to be strong? Could anyone tolerate it?<\/p>\n

2nd scene: “I have to initiate relationships. With men it’s hands off. They don’t know what the hell to do with me. After they get me, they don’t know what to do either.”<\/p>\n

She has the psychology of a loving woman who has been treated like a whore her whole life<\/p>\n

Help Help Help
\nI feel life coming closer
\nWhen all I want is to die<\/p>\n

I saw a star slide down the sky,
\nblinding the North as it went by,
\ntoo burning and too quick to hold,
\ntoo lovely to be bought or sold,
\ngood only to make wishes on
\nand then forever to be gone.<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/18\/98 Gertrude Down<\/u>
\nGautier wardrobe, maybe?
\nMen’s suits tailored for women
\nElastica<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/20\/98 Classics<\/u>
\n“Rules are designed to minimize thinking.” – Doug<\/p>\n

Concentration is a barometer. It’s God’s way of telling you you didn’t make a strong enough choice.<\/p>\n

Don’t apply yourself to the task if it’s not working. Change the task.<\/p>\n

\n

\nAfter the Fall: Mitchell’s notes<\/u><\/p>\n

“See what happens if you do one rehearsal just as Sheila.”<\/p>\n

“This is a woman who hasn’t learned not<\/u> to play the subtext.”<\/p>\n

— dresses too sexy for office
\n— lays it too much on the line<\/p>\n

“You open yourself up for attack if you play the subtext.”<\/p>\n

Think about me, and my role at Lounge Ax with P.: that line I was afraid to cross of being perceived as a joke, a bimbo, a whore. Paranoid about how I was perceived. Am I a joke? What are people saying about P. and me? I have to be in control of that – of how I am perceived – so make a joke out of myself before others can. The point is is that I am in on the joke<\/u>.<\/p>\n

“Men are at the mercy of her sexuality – and so is she<\/u>.”<\/p>\n

\n

\n1\/20\/98 PD Unit<\/u>
\n“And if you’re a talented prick, who needs you?” – Sam<\/p>\n

You aren’t only emotionally connected in naturalism<\/u><\/p>\n

Lee Strasberg: “Your trump card is always<\/u> the disaster that’s befalling you in the moment.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A continuation from this. I’ve gotten a lot of emails and personal comments about these notebooks – people appreciating them, and feeling inspired by them. So here’s another notebook, picking up where that last one left off. It’s devastating too … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[1200],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6010"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6010"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":180177,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6010\/revisions\/180177"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}