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<\/p>\nI went and got my 700 dollar cut and color yesterday. I seriously feel like I could write a 50 page essay about everything I observed and experienced in that salon – it was overwhelming! The decor is sleek, modern, and all black and white. The stylists wear all black – and there are glassed-in rooms where you can see bizarre experiments going on, with hair color, and makeover tints – and the stylists there wear white lab coats. The amenities of the salon are amazing<\/i>. People stroll around offering you iced tea, or lemonade, or seltzer … Other people stroll around carrying little trays of pastries … Everyone who works there is drop-dead gorgeous. Everyone who GOES there is drop-dead gorgeous! I was intimidated but determined to not let it crush me. I just asked questions, and blatantly allowed myself to be in a fluster of confusion. I did not try to KNOW the system … I was like: “Oh … so … where do I hang my coat?” “Take a left over there … you can get changed in the rooms over there …” Oh! Rooms! Changed! Got it! Then once I was over in the room-changing area – I again was in a bluster of confusion … “Do I check my coat? How about my purse? Do I need to … Oh, I go right over here … thank you.” (Thankfully, there are people who work there EVERYWHERE – and anyone who looks even mildly lost – for 2 seconds – is approached. “Can I help you?” “Do you need anything?” So, with a lot of hand-holding – I made my way through the maze of changing into the black gown thing – and checking my coat – and then they gave me a big plastic bag to keep my purse in – since I was getting my hair colored. Now that’s nice. I suppose if you walk in there with a bag that costs 1500 bucks, you don’t want to check it and you also don’t want to risk having it stained. Got it). Bag in a plastic bag. Coat checked. Black gown on over my dress. And …. now what? Where do I go? Help me? Mummy? I was lost. Naturally, I was approached immediately by a staff member who asked if I needed anything … “Yes … I’m having my hair colored by … Olivia?” “Okay – go up the stairs, take a right – and another right – she’ll be at the window.” Oh! Okay!<\/p>\n
I mean, the whole day was like that. Baffled, confused, staring around … like the most elementary things were beyond my comprehension: where is the bathroom? Could I have a glass of water? I needed help AT EVERY MOMENT. It was hysterical – but everyone was so nice and helpful that I felt perfectly comfortable being discombobbled. It was honest. If I had let myself HIDE how intimidated I felt – I would have been stressed out and paralyzed.<\/p>\n
I got my color done first – Olivia rocked the house with the color – it’s a coppery red – but she got rid of the grey, and also gave it some tints and shades throughout that look REALLY nice – natural. She pretty much colored my hair strand by strand.<\/p>\n
I need to discuss my deep deep love for Mohammed, her assistant. I crushed on him the entire time I was there. First of all, the gorgeousness of the man is hard to even discuss – he looked like a young Marlon Brando. I mean: YUMMY. We talked about sky diving and bungee jumping. He said he always wanted to skydive – but his wife was expecting – and he didn’t feel comfortable doing such a dangerous thing, now that he was about to be a father. We also talked about our shared love of Bloody Marys. Seriously. I am crushing on him so hard. He washed my hair – and gave me a head massage. Hence: my love for him. I have never felt anything so good in my life. I texted a friend of mine as I was sitting in the chair waiting for Mohammed to come back. “I am deeply in love with Mohammed, the assistant. I don’t want this part of the day to end – because I’ll have to say goodbye to him.” She texted me back within 5 minutes: “I am so telling Dean!” (as in Stockwell. hahahahahaha)<\/p>\n
But all love affairs must end. And once the coloring was done – Olivia passed me off to Rich – the guy who was going to cut my hair.<\/p>\n
So much people-watching I don’t even know what to say about it! Rich was running a bit behind because a gaggle of girls (yes, a gaggle) had come in to get their hair done for a wedding – and they were running him ragged. But I took one look at what he made this one girl’s hair looked like, and thought: Holy shit, he is an artist. That is AMAZING. But I watched everyone, as I waited. I bonded with Bessa – who rinsed my hair out – we discussed the ins and outs of Britney’s career for about half an hour. It was so fun. We discussed all of her VMA performances, the hits, the misses, how we both kinda love her, how we were horrified by the latest debacle … We talked about the tragic loss of JT and how Britney went downhill from there … we discussed our yearning for a big ol’ awesome comeback – but how we are losing hope in that regard. It was hysterical – Bessa was very busy, moving around – assisting other stylists – being called over to hold hair as it was blow-dried or whatever … but in between, she’d come back over to me, and say, “So how ’bout her reality show, huh?” It was great. People are people, wherever you find them.<\/p>\n
If you can talk to me about Britney – and if you know what I’m referring to when I casually reference, “the python” or “her appearances on Star Search’ – then we’ll be able to hang.<\/p>\n
Rich finally was ready for me and we had a long conversation about my hair – and I have to say – I don’t think I’ve ever had such an incredible haircut. It’s just full and kind of sexy – but it looks tousled and natural – He’s incredible. Olivia popped over with Mohammed, my long-lost love – to see what it all looked like – blow-dried out, the color, the cut – and was so sweetly excited for me. Rich and I actually (it turns out) have some mutual friends (life is so weird) – he lives with his wife down on the Jersey shore – so his daily commute is 2 hours. But obviously it’s worth it. He says, “It’s hard to get a job here because stylists never want to leave. It’s a great job.” At one point – both he and Bessa were blow-drying sections of my hair – I have never felt so PAMPERED in all my life. It’s not altogether a pleasant sensation … I mean, it is – of course it is … but it’s also a bit embarrassing.<\/p>\n
When I left, I was frightened about how to handle the tipping. I knew I would tip everyone who touched my hair – but … do I wander around handing them wads of cash like a Mafia don??<\/p>\n
A guardian angel appeared. I came back down the stairs, in my black gown – to the front desk area – The girl behind the desk – who had a short glamorous Louise Brooks bob – bright red hair – pale skin – just gorgeous – Anyway, she looked up, saw me, and said, “Oh my God – that haircut! You look so great!” (After all, she had seen what I looked like when I walked in. Not that I’m a Gila monster on the prowl – but you know … It was a big transformation.) So to have her say that – scary girl at the front desk – was sooo nice – and it turns out she wasn’t scary at all. We were talking about how wonderful the salon is – how much of a difference it makes to have a nice haircut – She said to me, “I’m an actress – I work in a preschool, too – but i work here one day a week so I can get my discount.” I loved that! First of all, she was intimidatingly beautiful – she’s the first thing you see when you get off the elevator- so naturally they’re going to have BABES working the front desk, because it’s the best advertisement for the salon within. So I was scared of her at first. But then she reveals that she’s an actress, and a preschool teacher, and works reception one day a week … so I was like: Oh. You’re just like me. I love you now.<\/p>\n
So I felt comfortable taking her into my neuroses and said, “How does one handle tipping in this environment?”<\/p>\n
And she said, “Here are some envelopes – just put the tip for whoever into different envelopes – write their name on it – and then drop it off in that little dropbox over there. They’ll get it at the end of the day.”<\/p>\n
Thank you, Redheaded Goddess! For walking me through the mysteries of salon life!! Easy-peasy! I’m SO GLAD I asked. I mean, it would have been fine if I had tramped back up the stairs and wandered around looking for Olivia, or Mohammed or whoever … but it was so much more civilized to just put the bills in an envelope and pop them into the little drop-box.<\/p>\n
I wrote on Bessa’s envelope: “Go, Brit-Brit!”<\/p>\n
Anyway, I’m really happy with it. It was a long afternoon – I was there for 4 hours – which is a bit much!! But what a generous gift … and it turned out to be (as things usually are for me) kind of an adventure.<\/p>\n
Blurry bad cell phone pic of the haircut – me in the PATH station later that night. You can’t really see the gorgeousness of the haircut – and I’m eager to try to “do” it myself, later today. It was pretty simple – his styling of it (I had told him my low-maintenance lifestyle – and that very often I “air-dry” my hair. He was hugely approving of this.) … But I am eager to try to make it look as good as he did – on my own.<\/p>\n
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I miss you, Mohammed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I went and got my 700 dollar cut and color yesterday. I seriously feel like I could write a 50 page essay about everything I observed and experienced in that salon – it was overwhelming! The decor is sleek, modern, … Continue reading