I was talking with Wade about fist fights. I asked him about fights he had been in, and how that dynamic works between men. It was a fascinating conversation. He told me some stories about fights and confrontations he had had – some violent, others just unpleasant – you know, your basic rams head-butting each other in the fields type of behavior. Here is my favorite:<\/p>\n
Wade was at a bar and he stepped outside to have a cigarette. A guy was sitting there on a bench. Young guy, tweed jacket. Wade’s hair is thinning on top, just so you know. And for whatever reason, the guy on the bench had some sort of reaction to Wade – a testosterone-fueled aggressive reaction. And he snarked, “Nice hair.”<\/p>\n
Wade was dumbstruck. What did you just say to me???<\/i> Like: a random mean comment like that is code for: PLEASE. I BEG OF YOU. KICK MY ASS.<\/p>\n
Rage came up in Wade. He said, “What<\/i>??”<\/p>\n
The guy repeated it. “Nice hair.”<\/p>\n
And instead of beating the guy to a pulp, instead of punching him in the nose – Wade, still in a state of rage<\/i>, said to the guy: “Dude! You need to be GENTLE<\/i> with people!” It just came out of his mouth. He wasn’t less angry. But he basically SCHOOLED the guy in manners. Dude! You can’t just say crap like that. You need to be GENTLE.<\/p>\n
The best part of this whole story is that Wade’s comment turned the whole thing around. It was as THOUGH Wade punched the guy. The guy actually blinked a couple of times, startled … like he was coming out of a haze.<\/p>\n
“Wow, man, I’m sorry … I’m really sorry … just having a bad day … I don’t know why I said that …”<\/p>\n
Wade said, “It’s cool, man, whatever … you just need to be gentle with people.”<\/p>\n
The entire exchange ended with tweed-jacket guy telling Wade his whole life story and showing him pictures of his art on his blackberry. “See … these are my paintings … ” Wade looked on, nodding, talking with him about art.<\/p>\n
I was howling as he told me the story.<\/p>\n
I am totally going to remember that and use it myself.<\/p>\n
Dude. You need to be GENTLE.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was talking with Wade about fist fights. I asked him about fights he had been in, and how that dynamic works between men. It was a fascinating conversation. He told me some stories about fights and confrontations he had … Continue reading