All right, so I am going to go back into very embarrassing territory (read: high school).<\/p>\n
Beth will be very happy!<\/p>\n
So let’s begin. I thought I might pull out my various entries about high school dances because … well, because, frankly, they are the most embarrassing.<\/p>\n
Here we go. (And I will try to refrain from interjecting my present-day self into the narrative, making snarky comments about my adolescent self – although it is nearly impossible to hold myself back.)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Tonight was a Hawaiian dance. I tell you, I was not looking forward to it, because the last dance was a disaster area. I didn’t go Hawaiian, but I did borrow a lei when I got there. It wasn’t even half-way full, but practically everyone was Hawaiian.<\/p>\n
Travis had on a grass skirt made out of garbage bag strips. And Joel had a grass skirt and man-hole-cover sized glasses. Betsy had on a long wrap-around skirt with huge blue flowers, and the DJ had on all white, a white top-hat and a white ruffled suit and this blue light was on him, so he sort of glowed. And he took requests so I asked for Devo, The Clash, J. Geils, Adam Ant, Loverboy.<\/p>\n
(Cannot resist: I love that I listed all of the band names. Such a whiff from another time. Also, weird thing: Years later, way after Loverboy’s star had descended, I ended up opening for them at the Milwaukee Summer Fest… Ha! If the 14 year old Sheila had known of the glory to come in her future!! Okay, sorry. Onward. <\/i>)<\/p>\n
God, I love music!<\/p>\n
And when he put on Stray Cat Strut, I did my tap dance. (Oh my God, I sound like such a geek. You DID YOUR TAP DANCE?? And then you WONDERED why no cute guys asked you to dance??? Meredith: if you are reading this, you will know exactly the tap dance I am referring to.<\/i>)<\/p>\n
All those great songs – I go WILD. We all do. We SWEAT! (Right, Beth?<\/i>) It is so fun. The minute I hear the beginning notes of “Jerkin’ Back and Forth” or “Rock Lobster” or “Workin’ for the Weekend”, we all race out onto the floor, going INSANE. I dance until my throat is dry and my legs ache.<\/p>\n
I’m not fooling myself. I had an awful time. I loved the music, but John was there. (When I read over this this morning, I thought: who the hell is John? And then – I remembered. Some guy I had a crush on, who said about 3 words to me, and I convinced myself it was true love.<\/i>) I saw him come in and I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and then Betsy grabbed my arm and said sternly, “Forget him, Sheila!” (I am completely ignoring my injunction against interjections. Can’t help it. So here I am, 20 freakin’ years later, and I still find myself in situations where my friends have to speak to me sternly, and say stuff like, “Forget him, Sheila!” Such as we are made.<\/i>)<\/p>\n
Betsy went on sternly, “He has on a girl’s headband. Please forget him.”<\/p>\n
Then we walked off, arms around each other, and for a while I did forget. (Little did I know that I eventually would forget so completely that I would read over this entry 20 years later and think, dimly: Who the hell is John? Ha! Revenge.<\/i>) I talked to Mr. Hodge, and some good songs came on, and there were some songs that Mere and I had to make fun of. We would strut around, eyes closed.<\/p>\n
Oh, and a TV cameraman was there for some reason, and he was filming us, and he took close-up shots of me charleston-ing to “Goody Two Shoes” (How unbelievably embarrassing.<\/i>), he also filmed me and my friends going WILD to “Rock Lobster”. He filmed all of us going “down … down … down…” onto the floor. The entire gym full of kids falls down onto the floor at the end of “Rock Lobster”. Anyway, I asked him later what the film was about, and he said that it was for a special on teenage alcoholism.<\/p>\n
What? I said to him, “I’m not drunk!” And he laughed and went, “I’m not going to say you are.”<\/p>\n
John was dancing with another girl and when he knew I was nearby he kissed her. (Uh, Sheila, are you sure of your facts here? Are you sure that it was because of YOUR hovering presence that he kissed her?<\/i>)<\/p>\n
So I’m really proud of the way I handled myself. I didn’t look at him, or look jealous, or even acknowledge him, and I danced like I never danced before. (Flashdance?<\/i>) I feel like I looked pretty bubbly, with my mini skirt, sweatshirt, tie, white tights, and skips, (HAHAHAHA. My TIE??<\/i>) and with my – ahem – peripheral vision I knew he kept looking over at me. My heart cracked in two and all I wanted to do was sob, but I danced and laughed – Man, it was hard work. I wanted to cry. I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING SO MUCH.<\/p>\n
So I acted “up”. I was crazy. I felt insane. I had no control. After cavorting madly to show John I didn’t give a f***in’ sh** about his buns, I went over to sit down cause it was a slow song, and Patty sat beside me and said, “I’m really sorry. I tried to warn you, but I feel bad for you.” I said to her, “What has it been? 3 girls in 2 months?” And she said, “Well, just be glad you weren’t one of those girls.” I nodded.<\/p>\n
So I sat through the slow song, chin in my hands, staring out at the big silver ball twirling above. I felt kind of bad. Kate hugged me. I just sat staring off. Why do I STILL like him, even when he’s been a bastard? Probably cause I know that underneath he’s really a nice guy. (And here the womanly pattern begins. Falling in love with an asshole’s hidden potential.<\/i>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
All right, so I am going to go back into very embarrassing territory (read: high school). Beth will be very happy! So let’s begin. I thought I might pull out my various entries about high school dances because … well, … Continue reading