{"id":8349,"date":"2008-08-20T12:56:05","date_gmt":"2008-08-20T16:56:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=8349"},"modified":"2022-10-16T10:48:54","modified_gmt":"2022-10-16T14:48:54","slug":"no-no-no-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=8349","title":{"rendered":"No. No. No. No."},"content":{"rendered":"

Special Ops has heard a rumor, and Special Ops says in response: No<\/a>.<\/b><\/p>\n

Go. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Away.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m not yelling or hysterical. I’m just telling you firmly, MK, because I almost care about you: Your time is done. Give it up. Go away.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u0080\u009cI have a silver and a bronze, and you how everyone says there\u00e2\u0080\u0099s something missing?,\u00e2\u0080\u009d [Michelle] Kwan said. \u00e2\u0080\u009cI don\u00e2\u0080\u0099t know what that is, but I feel like something is missing, as well.\u00e2\u0080\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Oh, cry me a river, Kwan. I feel something’s missing in my life too. Like love, peace of mind, financial flexibility and overall emotional contentment. Oh, and my address book is missing too. That’s the way it goes. You can’t always get what you want. Life’s unfair. Tough. Suck it up.<\/p>\n

I have expressed myself on this score before<\/a>. I don’t want to go through another Winter Olympics listening to your bitch-bitch whining about your missing gold, and how you have every medal but a gold!!!<\/i> (aboo-hoo, aboohoo), somehow thinking (incorrectly) that the “outrage” about this is universal … No. It ain’t, Kwan. You don’t have a gold because you didn’t skate well enough the last 35 times you competed in the Olympics<\/i>. Oh, and also: it would help if you didn’t do the same routine TWO OLYMPICS IN A ROW. Why should you be congratulated for such stupid (and cautious) behavior? Those little teenage girls skated circles around you. That’s the flat truth. I roll my eyes, knowing I will have to watch you swoop around the ice with your damn leg in the air as everyone cheers for … what reason? No idea. I was bored by that move of yours in circa 1987.<\/p>\n

“Signature moves” don’t win the gold, Kwan. Go join the Icecapades if you want to be congratulated for that kind of thing.<\/p>\n

I KNEW this moment would come. I KNEW I was not done with Kwan.<\/p>\n

“You know, I’ve left all doors open and I haven’t closed any doors yet.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hey, Michelle. Let me close that door for you. For all our sakes. There ya go!<\/p>\n

To quote Mitchell’s long-ago haiku that he wrote for Tonya Harding:<\/p>\n

Pink spandex falters
\nGuilty skates have no rhythm
\nThe world is unmoved.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That haiku NEVER grows old. Mitchell, my dear. It’s brill.<\/p>\n

And so Special Ops says:<\/p>\n

The world is unmoved, Kwan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Special Ops has heard a rumor, and Special Ops says in response: No. Go. Away. I’m not yelling or hysterical. I’m just telling you firmly, MK, because I almost care about you: Your time is done. Give it up. Go … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8349"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8349"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":181850,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8349\/revisions\/181850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}