{"id":9314,"date":"2009-05-01T06:08:31","date_gmt":"2009-05-01T10:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=9314"},"modified":"2013-02-01T12:55:54","modified_gmt":"2013-02-01T17:55:54","slug":"i-hate-my-date-so-much-right-now-for-even-thinking-i-want-to-do-the-electric-slide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=9314","title":{"rendered":"“I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I love this site: Texts From Last Night<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n“the last 3 guys I’ve hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player…I need a type…”<\/p>\n

“All I’ve ever wanted to do in life is right”
\n“Maybe you should learn how to spell write first”<\/p>\n

“I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.”<\/p>\n

“So why didn’t Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?”
\n“You need to stop watching Twilight.”<\/p>\n

“I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.”<\/p>\n

“I pooped in a mop bucket. ”
\n“WTF??? ”
\n“Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that”<\/p>\n

“How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend”
\n“Get a boyfriend”<\/p>\n

“Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad”<\/p>\n

“i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.”
\n“i think im in thre room next to you”<\/p>\n

“Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw”
\n“strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing”
\n“could be more”
\n“absolutely not”<\/p>\n

“so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in “scottsdale” to spell “milf city.” who knew?”<\/p>\n

I don’t really text so I have nothing to add – but there is some damn funny stuff on that site.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I love this site: Texts From Last Night. “the last 3 guys I’ve hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player…I need a type…” “All I’ve ever wanted to do in life … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[2134],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9314"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9314"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":62423,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9314\/revisions\/62423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}