— Got together with Jen last night. Gorgeous summery Hoboken night. We went out for a glass of wine. I drew her costume sketches in my notebook. We talked like magpies for a couple of hours. Then I went to catch a cab, and she came with. Stopped off at a bank to get some cash. The foyer with the ATMs was echoey and empty. I stood at the ATM, going through the process, getting some money. The ATM was beeping repeatedly – you know, every time I pushed a button (“withdrawal”, “yes”, whatever), there would be a beep. Then when it came time for money to come out, it beeped three times in succession a couple of times. All on one tone. This is so not going to be easy to describe, but Jen, hanging out over to the side, imitated the sound of the three beeps. Then she imitated it again, getting more into it. I was totally not paying attention – I was busy waiting for my money. Jen and I used to be roommates – we share space really well. Jen imitated the beeps again, amusing herself – and finally it caught my attention and I glanced up just in time to see Jen, yet again, do the three beeps, but this time she was kind of performing it, swinging her head around to the side, as though she was looking out at the audience. I can’t explain why it was so hilarious – maybe because it was such a “caught” moment, she was in a private space – maybe because the whole thing was so unbelievably stupid: Jen, you are imitating the beeps of an ATM. Repeatedly. What is wrong with you?? – maybe because it had been going on for a bit before I even noticed. Jen could have been going “beep beep beep” in her beautiful soprano for five minutes before I ever said, “Hey man, what the hell are you doing?” Stuff like that used to go down all the time when we lived together. Anyway, it was when I glanced over at her, “beeping” away, and glancing out and around at the empty foyer, as though it were a full concert hall – when we both suddenly LOST IT. We were then staggering down the street, tears streaming down our faces, and we KEPT imitating the beeps … especially her last version of the beeps, which had almost a jazzy cadence to it … she was musically interpreting the beeps from an ATM for an invisible audience<\/i> – all right as I was standing there … we were CRYING.<\/p>\n
— Came home and watched the final episode of the last season of Quantum Leap<\/i>, and found myself sobbing. Uncontrollably. I curled up in bed and sobbed like a small child, Hope tiptoeing around my head, licking me nervously. Oh, it was awesome to cry. I cried and cried and cried and cried. Lost loves, growing hopes, disappointments, sadness, loss, fear … WAHHHHHHHHHH. Then, it was over. Got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to sleep. Peacefully. No problem whatsoever.<\/p>\n
What the eff.<\/p>\n
Tears of laughter, tears of grief … all within a two-hour period … and I feel purged and relaxed today.<\/p>\n
Everything’s going to be fine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
— Got together with Jen last night. Gorgeous summery Hoboken night. We went out for a glass of wine. I drew her costume sketches in my notebook. We talked like magpies for a couple of hours. Then I went to … Continue reading