May 19, 2004

Jagoff Alert

I have been following the whole Micah Wright thing, through Michele and Jim Treacher, primarily - They pretty much seemed to have it covered. It's kind of fun to watch a bold-faced brazen f***ing liar get his come-uppance. And be revealed to the world that his entire SCHTICK is just that: SCHTICK.

I actually don't care what your politics are. Dance around a fire and praise the goddess of the Southeast Breeze. I don't care. At least that's HONEST. But I hate liars. I hate liars.

And today I read the following post and thought, for the 15th time in 7 days: Micah Wright is such a jagoff.

To be said with true Chicagoan contempt.

What a jaaaaagoff.

He is such a jag. None of it is his fault is really his position. Pretending to be a Ranger so that he could have street-cred while being an anti-war activist "I HAVE COMBAT EXPERIENCE AND THAT'S WHY I'M ANTI-WAR" - all a lie - is somehow, magically, not his fault. What an ignorant and immature personality.


Posted by sheila

One of my favorite things about Chicago and Chicagoans is the breezy gusto they bring to cursing. I can always tell a Chicagoan by the way the cuss.

Noo Yawkers curse like it's an accessory they put on. Minnesotans cuss like they're taking medication. But Chicagoans swear like they'd drink a PBR after a hot day of painting - the verbal equivalent of chugging a whole bottle, slamming it to the table, grinning from ear to ear and asking for another.

Yeah. Wright's a jagoff. In the term's full Chicagoan glory!

Posted by: mitch at May 19, 2004 05:39 PM

Mitch - God, so true!!!

I always maintain that the TV show "JAG" never caught on in Chicago - because none of us could get over that that word, to us, means "stupid f***ing asshole".


Posted by: red at May 19, 2004 05:41 PM

When Wright says "Ten hut!", demand a recount. (Damn, that's a good one. Wish I'd thought of it before...)

Posted by: Jim Treacher at May 19, 2004 05:55 PM

Make that a 6 Hut and we'll call it a day, how 'bout it, Micah?

The very word "recount" gives me a soul-shiver, a flashback.

Posted by: red at May 19, 2004 05:57 PM

I think JAG means "stupid f**cking *sshole" to me too - although for very different reasons.

That Wright guy wasn't even a good liar. Anyone who knew whereof he spoke would have identified him in a nanosecond.

What amazes me is how well lying works. I am wide-eyed in amazement almost every day at the whoppers I hear - which the liars invariably get away with. I just wouldn't have the nerve.

The other day I was talking to a fellow I've known for many years, whom I also know to be a galactic-class bullshi**er. He told me, with great bravado, how he had just returned from Iraq, where a grenade had gone off in his humvee, shattering his eardrum - implying that he had survived a brutal attack.

I did not tell him that I had heard his story already, from someone else, and I knew (a) it was his grenade and he set it off while playing with it, (b) it was a flash-bang, with no shrapnel, and (c) he got kicked out of Iraq because of that incident, which was the last straw in a consistent pattern of buffoonerousness. I said nothing and heard him tell his story to several other people, who regarded him admiringly and believed every word.

This fellow has had a very successful career, despite screwing up everything he's every been involved with and telling outrageous lies at every opportunity.

Posted by: CW at May 19, 2004 08:37 PM

CW - there's a whole post - nay, a whole book - in your comment.

Posted by: red at May 19, 2004 09:29 PM

Oh, and my cousin's a Ranger - so if I had even been paying attention as he spread the lies - I would have been able to bust the bubble too.

It's so f***ing disrespectful to guys who actually DO that shit, who actually ARE Rangers ...

It makes me f***ing mad.

But again, let me say: there is an entire philosophical post to be had in what you describe in your comment.

The ego ... the ego must be satisfied ... if the ego says: "y'know what? It would be a BETTER story if I had been a would be BETTER and more EFFECTIVE if I could say this..."

Some people can speak calmly to their egos. "All right now. Yes. It would have been SO COOL if you were a Ranger, and then became anti-war - but it's not true - because you are NOT a Ranger..."

Others only listen to the egos.

"Man, it would be so cool if I had been a Ranger, in Grenada, and then could say: 'Wow, war sucks' - no one could touch me then!!'"

And they listen to that voice, and do not question it.

But again: we ALL have that ego-voice. I feel like lying all the time, to make myself seem better, more successful. But I f***ing CHOOSE not to.

Posted by: red at May 19, 2004 09:35 PM

I think of it as the "Rocky Brown Effect". When I was a LITTLE kid (like 6, maybe 7), I had a friend named Rocky Brown. Rocky was older (maybe 9), bigger, and larger than life. Rocky would always make the most outrageous claims which to us younger kids to make himself sound like the most exciting and interesting kid ever. My other friends and I just couldn't believe how cool Rocky Brown was. But somehow his claims never quite came true, and the wondrous things he claimed were never witnessed by anyone else. Eventually we got suspicious, and later some grownup explained that Rocky's stories weren't true, but he just told them so we would like him better, because he wasn't confident in who he truthfully was.

But Rocky was older and cooler than us already - we would have looked up to him anyway. And he was a nice guy. He didn't need to tell those lies. But apparently he just couldn't help himself, exaggerating everything beyond reality to make himself seem more special than he was. Eventually (by High School) he became a joke and practically no one would have anything to do with him. And it was so unnecessary.

So whenever I meet a pathological liar, I think "ah - he's just like Rocky Brown". And there's a lot of Rockys out there.

Posted by: CW at May 19, 2004 11:14 PM

What exactly is a Ranger supposed to represent for our country? Are they all imposters who lie about their rank and what they do?
The person I met recently from Walter Reed said he was a FIRST REGIMENTAL SEARGANT MAJOR in the U.S.Army Rangers. Is there such a thing? Can someone with a rank of E-4 with the Navy transfer to the Army and achieve this status within the Rangers? Do Rangers actually perform covert missions from Fort Stewart, even though our actual soldiers are still in Iraq and Afghanistan? Is it all EGO?

Posted by: Nay at June 8, 2004 08:41 AM