January 12, 2005

I think I need to get a Socialist haircut

This news would be ludicrously funny if it weren't so sad, and so frightening. It's insane, yes ... we can laugh at how out of touch it is, how INSANE ... it's almost amusing.

If it weren't so tragic. A nation of millions, being held hostage by, Jesus, what do I call him? A psychopathic "ronery" Elvis?

I mean, really. Read the article, please. Read the statements.

Additionally - uhm - has anyone SEEN the leader of North Korea lately? Uhm ... can anyone say: ENORMOUS POMPADOUR?

Not quite a Socialist haircut, if you ask me. Looks like his hair has been "infiltrated" by evil capitalists.

Lunacy. Sheer and utter lunacy. I wrote this big post a while back, when there was that enormous explosion in North Korea ... about the very loud SILENCE which emanates from countries like North Korea. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. So when something does seep out, like the "everyone in the country get a crewcut" decree ... it only points out how insane it must REALLY be there.

I feel for those people. I really do.

Where the hell is Team America. Can I join up?

Posted by sheila

Heh... great quote: "inappropriate appearance under foreign influence could lead to national decay."

That is brilliant.

Posted by: Curtis at January 12, 2005 09:58 AM

I know. Like ... uhm, have you done scientific Socialist studies about the correlation between the lack of crewcuts and national decay?

Posted by: red at January 12, 2005 10:09 AM

I esp. like the 'under foreign influence' part. Like isn't there something called a 'french braid'? Can we outlaw that here? Cause its clearly a subversive haircut.

Posted by: Curtis at January 12, 2005 10:14 AM


Here's a link to that BBC article the report mentioned - What not to wear

It gives a litle more detail on the extent of the campaign.. "Newspapers too highlight the civic advantages of short hair and smart shoes."

heh heh.. yup.. smart shoes are a sure sign of Socialist credentials.

Posted by: peteb at January 12, 2005 10:26 AM

Long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition"... So, even if you weren't one of the millions in your country going hungry, you'd obviously want to do the right thing and get a haircut.

Who can't see the logic in that?

Posted by: Bernard at January 12, 2005 03:48 PM

Is there some website, somewhere, that kind of gives an idea how strong militarily, and as far as internal security goes, North Korea really is? I mean, I know he's got the people subjugated there within an inch of their lives, but even Iraq seems to have been (pre-2003) a much "freer" place than NK. How strong are they, externally and internally, really?

Posted by: Barry at January 12, 2005 03:52 PM

I don't know if this is accurate or not, Barry.

It's an overview from the CIA website ... which is updated constantly. It gives overview of military expenditure, internal refugees, population movements ...

Posted by: red at January 12, 2005 03:59 PM


As for their external strength -- they have enough artillery to pound Seoul flat in about ten minutes. Their conventional strength alone, consisting of highly indoctrinated troops who would love nothing more than to crush the South and take its wealth (the "then we'll all have food" school of thought) is quite impressive. They also have an impressive array of special forces, saboteurs, spies, etc. It almost makes the nuclear issue a non-sequitur (although the proliferation issues are quite troubling).

As for their internal strength, it all depends. Certainly Kim's power is strongest in Pyongyang and wanes the farther one gets from it. The explosion at Ryongchon may have been an internal attempt to send Kim to his rightful place in Hell -- and the DPRK is, of course, very cagey about the Dear Leader's movements. That suggests a lot of dissent: no surprise, given that much of the population is marginalized (the society is divided into "core," "wavering" and "hostile" classes).
But dissent doesn't necessarily mean Kim can't keep the people in line ...

For more on this, see the Korean National Intel. Service's Web site, at:


They offer weekly updates on North Korea matters.

I once read a comment about North Korea to the effect of "the country's not evil at all -- just the 200 or 300 people running it." Getting rid of them would probably defuse the threat. The problem, though, is that doing such a thing is downright impossible.

Posted by: Benjamin Kepple at January 12, 2005 09:07 PM