The Sheila Variations

This morning I stopped at the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes [insert lecture about quitting smoking here]. There was a line and the couple at the front of cashier were taking a long time. A LONG time. You couldn't see their faces, but the girl had blonde hair in a pony tail and the guy had a baseball cap slightly tilted to the side. The man behind me finally yelled "Hey, Brittney! Shift it!!"

heh heh heh

Lecture? Hell no, smoke away. The government needs that tax revenue.

Back when I was in grad school, one of my friends was in the "bullpen" (a large office with many desks where graduate students without a formal advisor worked). She used to copy down all the bizarre things that came out of people's mouths in that room. (I was actually in a lab, where we probably worked too hard and didn't say as many funny things. But I lived vicariously through my friend).

Sadly, the only two I remember are

"And the rest is where butter comes from"

and

"Ewww, don't touch it. It'll lose all its fuzz"

(I would hasten to note that that last PROBABLY applied to the pet tarantula of one of our fellow students - tarantulas are notorious for going bald under stress).

The thought of a stressed-out "t" going bald is horrifying.

But even more horrifying is the thought of petting one of those things.

Submitted for your consideration:

What Are Words For?: I wade up from the subway at Whitehall Street, unfluffing the small cheap silvery umbrella I bought a few weeks back for $1.99 (Pierre: “Ah, a disposable”). The large gentleman behind me, spotting the insistent rain, is unhappy. “Oh,” he laments, “I am in hurt like a bootleg movie!”

Blogged over at our place on 6/22/2004.

“I am in hurt like a bootleg movie!” That is funny.

I had a girlfriend from Hungary who used to bum out and say, "This is sucks."

She also said "wham pier," and I had no idea what she was talking about until she made like Dracula showing fangs. "You know, wham pier!"

Ha! I had a Russian roommate in college who would always ask if I could "suggest him a cigarette".

I remember when I was a kid some magazine had a cartoonist who went around and snooped on other peoples conversations, then wrote cartoons about them using their quotes.

I don't remember anything specifically except one frame had some people eating lunch in a diner, and there was a kid standing up in a booth, looking over the back of the seat to the people in the booth behind him, and yelling, "You're eating kryptonite!!!"

oh, damn.

red, I totally forgot about your 's' thing. Wouldn't have posted it if I had remembered.

forgive me?

ricki:

I completely understand that not everyone can keep "sheila's 's' phobia" in their minds at all times. No worries.

However, it still is horrifying to me - the thought of a stressed-out t going bald, because of the stress. woah.

At least that doesn't happen to those stressed out by 't's, Sheila...

Actually, peteb: I have gone completely bald since reading ricki's comment yesterday.

Thankfully, the new blog design can cope with such a variation.

So we can't call you Red anymore....

Can we? ;)

I'd say something about "green," but she'd smack me.