Awesome blog I have just discovered.
Can't. Get. Enough. of this crap.
You know, stuff like this.
And this.
And this. Love the title of the post - it made me laugh out loud.
Posted by sheilaHahahahaha! You always find the best blogs!
BTW, did you see the latest Cruise News? It's on the UK Sun web page... OMG
Posted by: Rude1 at March 28, 2006 12:00 PMIs it about the putting up of "shhhhhh lady giving birth" signs? How about "make your movements understandable" on the sign? What - are pregnant women suddenly retarded and unable to "understand" certain gestures?
The whole thing is geared towards interfering in the mother-child bond - so the cult can more easily do its work.
I hope Katie screams her feckin' HEAD off. I really do.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 12:03 PMSo do I! I'm no medical type person, but I would think that being in that much pain, and trying to suppres the natural reaction (screaming, tensing, etc) would create MORE stress on the body (hi BP etc). That can't be good for the baby can it?
What do I know... :)
Posted by: Rude1 at March 28, 2006 12:13 PMI have never given birth - but I imagine that screaming, and letting it out, is really helpful.
Scream, katie, scream!!!
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 12:15 PMKatie, if you're listening, look ole Tommy boy in the eye, hold his hand tenderly, take a deep breath and...
GGEEEYYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Scream in his feckin (love that word Sheila) face! lol
Posted by: Rude1 at March 28, 2006 12:21 PMhahahahahahahahaha
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 12:22 PMIt's so misogynistic I can't even believe it.
Posted by: Lisa at March 28, 2006 12:23 PMThe birth thing, I mean. Not the religion blog.
Posted by: Lisa at March 28, 2006 12:24 PMYou don't know the history of anasthesia or anesthetics like I do, Matt! Anasthesia merely masks the pain!... uh, never mind, I guess that's what they're supposed to do.
Posted by: JFH at March 28, 2006 12:25 PMIt's a portal to the thetans JFH! It makes it easier for them to get in and take hold! You musn't use the Xenu medicine!
Posted by: Cullen at March 28, 2006 12:27 PMLisa - yeah, I agree with the misogyny thing.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 12:33 PMI've heard the stories of normal births where the woman yells at her husband how much she hates him. I get a sick enjoyment out of imagining Katie screaming at Tom... "I hate you and your fecked up religion. You're a freak, get away from me! GOD FORGIVE ME for listening to this idiot!!!!" hahahahaha
Posted by: Rude1 at March 28, 2006 12:43 PMhahahahahahaha
Totally. You know that Mr. Smiley-Tight-Pants will be there trying to control the entire event ... I get this whole Rosemary's Baby vibe about the whole thing ... Katie giving birth surrounded by a group of "supportive" SILENT Scientologists.
It's really gruesome, actually.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 12:46 PMhahahahaha, that's the vision I have too; all these freaks standing around in a white, monochromatic room, all dressed in white, silently communicating with hand gestures. Hovering over her just waiting to grab the child and spirit him/her away to a room with nothing but a giant L. Ron portrait. They put the poor thing down on an alter... Geez, I gotta think of something to make me laugh...
"Margret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked..."
Posted by: Rude1 at March 28, 2006 12:51 PMI'm still blown away by the "make your movements understandable" thing.
The work of Phillip Glass aside, have you ever seen any movement you didn't understand?
Posted by: Emily at March 28, 2006 12:58 PMI know, right???
Like - what IS an incomprehensible gesture??
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 01:33 PMwhat IS an incomprehensible gesture??
How 'bout holding your wife's hand lovingly and stroking her hair, but not allowing her an epidural?
Posted by: JFH at March 28, 2006 01:51 PMwere i ever in the position of giving birth (not an all together likely scenario, but i was there when my daughter was born) the last thing i would want to do is play charades:
(bing in intense pain holds up 4 fingers)
red: Four syllables!
(bing holds up 1 finger) (no, not that one. not yet at least)
emily: First syllable!
(bing points up)
red: god!
emily: xenu!
ken: proctologist!
(bing shakes head)
red: up?
(bing smiles, nods, holds up 2 fingers)
(bing shrugs dejectedly)
red: the sopranos?
emily: ennui?
ken: huh?
(smiles, gives ken thumbs up, holds up 3 fingers)
(makes knocking motion)
emily: who's there?
red: orange
ken: orange who?
emily and red: orange you glad you use dial?
(bing shakes head violently, makes knock motion again, grabs imaginary knob and pushes away)
red: come on in?
emily: enter?
ken: land shark!
(shakes again, repeats motions) (damn my belly hurts)
red: um, open?
(work with me! c'mon!)
emily: door?
(woo-hoo! holds up four fingers)
(makes encircling motions with arms)
red: gather?
emily: harvest?
ken: plushy party?
(nonono! makes motions again, points to individual invisible items, one at a time, shaking head 'no' after each one, then points to everyone and shakes head yes, smiling through the pain)
emily: a case of beer?
red: grains of sand?
ken: one...many...all?
(woo-hoo! go ken!)
(makes encouraging 'sound-it-out' motioons through the throes of childbirth)
red: up
emily: huh
ken: door
all: all
(passes out in agony. screw this cult kid)
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 28, 2006 01:51 PMLOL, of course, ken is now going to hunt you down...
Posted by: JFH at March 28, 2006 01:57 PMbingley - I could barely make it thru that with the tears of laughter streaming out of my eyes.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 01:57 PMImagine the looks i was (am) getting from my coworkers as i'm sitting here playing charades with myself and sounding things out...
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 28, 2006 02:11 PMEmily, that's no laughing matter! [/40s male tighting up certain muscles uncontrollably]
Now:
ken: plushy party?
THAT'S comic genius
Don't mock plushy love if you cannot understand its profound impact and the deep feelings that are involved. We shouldn't judge people just because they get their rocks off with My Little Pony.
Posted by: Emily at March 28, 2006 02:15 PMemily - In the same vein as plushies: member I told you I was actually invited to a cuddle party?? I didn't go ... but I swear, I kinda think I need to - just to blog about it.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 02:16 PMhmm, sounds an awful lot like the old "i only read it for the interviews' argument to me, red...
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 28, 2006 02:17 PM..but I swear, I kinda think I need to...
Not me, I still thank God that I never lived as an adult during the "swinger" phase. Remember the party in the movie The Ice Storm? It's not so much that I'd be afraid to get hooked up with the, um, "big boned" woman. But more so, what if I got the Sigourney Weaver, or even the Joan Allen character and the look on their face was total disappointment!
(Note that I'm not saying Joan Allen isn't as good looking as Sigourney Weaver, but it's their character's personality which would make me pick one over the other)
Posted by: JFH at March 28, 2006 02:27 PMSheila,
I TOLD you I was going to kick your ass if you didn't go. Watch your back now, sister.
Wow. Xenu through childbirth to charades to plushies to furries to swinging.
The center of the universe is somewhere in there, man.
Posted by: Cullen at March 28, 2006 02:50 PMBings, that is comic gold. You deserve a tall cold beer at my expense - say, at Redhead's tonight, 'round about 9 pm.
Posted by: Nightfly at March 28, 2006 02:53 PMSadly I have to take yet another raincheck, 'Fly, as the bride has a doctors appointment.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 28, 2006 02:54 PMNightfly - oh, man!! We have to do that! I can make copies of Bingley's "script" and we can assign parts. It will be riotous.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 02:55 PMOh - but I'm not free tonight either. I will miss American Idol which is completely tragic. Please keep me completely informed on all of your opinions about the competition.
I wish they did instant replay of the damn thing - like they do on Bravo and HBO and other channels.
Posted by: red at March 28, 2006 02:56 PMChrist, I'm 5 days overdue and already bitching up a storm. If some schmuck hung those signs around my house, they'd be dead.
Posted by: Laura at March 28, 2006 06:31 PMThe link to the post about the South Park show about Scientology was good. I thought the best quote from Matt Stone and Trey Parker after Isaac Hayes quit and cited their "bigotry to religion" was when they said, "Well, he had no problem when we made fun of Christianity..."
Posted by: Jen at March 30, 2006 02:44 PM