September 16, 2004

Automatic Snark Generator

I have just discovered the Snark-O-Tron 8300 . I am in heaven. It generates snarks for you. You put in the name of somebody and out pops a snark. But not your garden-variety snarks.

In light of the post below, I put in "Paris Hilton", and here is the snark:

Imagine Paris Hilton. Now imagine Paris Hilton frolicking naked with a hungry orphan.

Let's insult Lance Bass, too.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if one day Lance Bass said, ''I'd sure like to be black''?

Another one:

The funniest thing about Lance Bass is that he thinks he's Rue McLanahan, but he's really more like Satan.

heh heh heh

And finally, let's insult "that guy from O.C.":

I'd like that guy from O.C. to spend less time trying to lock the president of Dartmouth College in his basement and more time getting high.

I'm going to personally insult George Lucas.

What's the least funny: a bucket of poop, Liza Minelli, or George Lucas?

And this one's for Dipnut - I will insult the creators of Troy:

If Sally Jesse Raphael and Connie Chung had a lovechild, it would be the creators of Troy.


And much much fun was had by all.

Found this via Blind Cave Fish (go check out all the snarks on her site.)

Posted by sheila
Comments

I'd like Sheila O'Malley to spend less time getting Carol Channing and Kirstie Alley to beat each other with wooden planks and more time babbling about Niels Bohr.

Me too. *Sigh*

Posted by: Emily at September 16, 2004 05:36 PM

I would love to see an episode of some show where Emily Jones says ''Meet my new friend - Hugh Jackman.'' and then kicks Rocco DiSpirito.

I agree.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:39 PM

By the way ... "babbling about Niels Bohr"...what??

This game could go on forever.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:39 PM

If Ben Wallace and a burlap sack had a lovechild, it would be Mr. Bingley.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:40 PM

I would love to see an episode of some show where Bill McCabe bludgeons Paula Abdul.

God, I TOTALLY want to see that.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:44 PM

Imagine Ken Summers. Now imagine Ken Summers taking a bubble bath with Jenna from Survivor.

Now that would make Ken a happy boy, at least until his wife cut his nuts off.

Posted by: Emily at September 16, 2004 05:45 PM

Wouldn't it be important for the country if Mr. Z was caught having sex with Marissa from The OC?

Speaking of the damn OC ...

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:47 PM

Couldn't resist:

One of these days I'd like to see New York Nicole from The Real World and Renee Zellweger go to Europe and get run over by a train in the Chunnel.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:50 PM

Hey Frodo Baggins. Stop trying to act like J. Lo.

Yeah, Frodo. Stop it!

Speaking of the damn OC, one only thing about that show that really bugs me (I managed to watch for five minutes before I was bored stupid) is that now people who formerly nicknamed Orange County "O.C." are slowly starting to call it "THE O.C." How stupid. THE Orange County. Duh.

Posted by: Emily at September 16, 2004 05:51 PM

Very dumb. I haven't seen it once. But I am bombarded with information about all those people.

Posted by: red at September 16, 2004 05:54 PM

Funny!

And regarding the OC: I want the two point four minutes I've spent watching the show back.

Posted by: RightThinkingGirl at September 16, 2004 06:12 PM

What's this OC thing? You'd think, being a blogger, I'd know what's going on and stuff. But I'm so disconnected from popular culture, that the very mention of Paris Hilton gets me vaguely aroused.

Posted by: dipnut at September 16, 2004 06:39 PM

It's an evening soap, dipnut, a al "Melrose Place" and other crap shows like that.

Posted by: Emily at September 16, 2004 06:52 PM

I would love to see an episode of some show where Dan Rather craps on Dan Rather.

Isn't that what we've been watching non-stop for the past few days?

Posted by: Dave J at September 16, 2004 08:29 PM

Oh, and I couldn't resist posting this one either:

If I were stuck on a desert island with Dan Rather, I would cry for a very long time, and then probably kill myself with a grenade made from a coconut and all my prayers.

Posted by: Dave J at September 16, 2004 08:31 PM

Right out of the gate and I'm amazingly topical, it seems.

"I'd like Kaptin Marko to spend less time throwing feces at politicians and more time flaying the cast of The OC."

Posted by: Kaptin Marko at September 17, 2004 07:45 AM

I found another great use for the snark machine. Whenever I get an annoying email or text message from my ex-boyfriend, I just plug his name in, generate a snark and laugh. It's a fun and evil way to deal with pain.

Posted by: jess at September 17, 2004 01:37 PM