The Sheila Variations

"John Williams is the maaaaaan."

For all you Star Wars fans out there, and all of you fans of the composer John Williams (I'm looking at you, Cashel!!) - please, I beg you, go visit the John Williams Blog-a-Thon happening right now. Some amazing thoughtful and detailed posts from some of my favorite film writers out there.

And thank you to Sharon, for posting the clip (below the jump) on Twitter.

An a capella compilation, in 4 part harmony, of some of the most recognizable John Williams themes - with hilarious lyrics added. "Kiss your brother, kiss your brother, kiss your brother, who's your daddy, who's your daddy ..."

"He's the man standing up there beside Errol Flynn." - Amanda McBroom

Amanda McBroom

I said recently on Twitter (I know, so ridiculous, like that has any validity whatsoever - however, apparently it's all going into the Library of Congress, so at least my name will live on forever in some capacity) that the best byproduct so far of Ridley Scott's self-serious and "historically accurate" Robin Hood is that Errol Flynn is all over the place right now, and I'm in heaven about it. He's always had the props, obviously, but it's nice to see him get the props once again, in almost every single review, from folks who miss the jaunty careless air he brought to a role that is, honestly, just an excuse for some swashbuckling and some fun. Shouldn't it all be a bit more fun? (Thanks, Mr. Ebert. I agree.)

I grew up on Errol Flynn movies, and when the Dean Stockwell obsession took over my life in 2007, I loved going back to re-watch Kim, a movie I had seen on a fuzzy black-and-white television in our family den when I was about 10 years old. Stockwell tells stories of how Flynn treated him and what that experience was like, and it's pretty cool.

All of this is to say:

Cabaret singer Amanda McBroom is the daughter of David Bruce, an actor who worked with Errol Flynn multiple times, a man with a long career (there's a wonderful tribute to him here). McBroom is also a songwriter (she wrote, you know, that little-known song called "The Rose", made famous by another performer), and she wrote a song about her father called "Errol Flynn" that came up on my iPod shuffle today and, as always, I had to skip right over it, because it's far too emotional for me to listen to when I'm out and about doing errands. I cannot listen to it with any distance. It dissolves me. Repeatedly.

I won't even speak any further about it. Some things are beyond words, and it's better to just point to the source, and say: "There. Look at that." It is a song that has even more poignancy to me now than it did when I first heard it.

It's a tribute to her father, yes, but it's also a tribute to artists. To the loneliness of the pursuit, and to the inherent dignity in a job well done, even in B-movies, even with your name far far below the star's name. David Bruce was just such an actor.

Below the jump is a clip of Amanda McBroom performing "Errol Flynn". It's controlled, elegant, with abysses of emotion below the surface. And listen to those lyrics.

iPod Shuffle, take me away

I walked all over the city yesterday on my various errands and also wandered through Central Park, because it was a beautiful day and I had 3 hours to kill, and all was right with the world. I didn't listen to music constantly, but when I did, had the old iPod on shuffle. Sometimes, as we iPod owners know, the Shuffle blows, and it makes it seem like you actually own no good songs. But then sometimes it throws up a bit of magic in your way. Yesterday was kind of like that. Not perfect end to end, but great walking music. As I said: I probably walked 7 miles yesterday, all told, and was outside, on the move, from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. I ate lunch at Whole Foods, I did errands, I met a friend for coffee, then went over to a friend's house for dinner ... but here was yesterday's shuffle. Good enough that I might want to actually create it as its own Playlist.

As narcissistic as this is, I make no apology for it, because
1. The URL to my blog is not BigImportantTopics.blogspot.com, or DownWithTheMSM.org. It's sheilaomalley.com, so this entire thing is an exercise in narcissism.
2. I have enjoyed looking at other people's music collections - seeing where we intersect, where we divide - (Seriously: am I the only one who liked Garth Brooks's "Chris Gaines" debacle??) - and music is a fun topic to talk about.

So here's the Shuffle that accompanied me yesterday, with tiny fragments of commentary.

"Good Love Never Dies" - Liz Phair (love this one of hers - but then, I love all her stuff - it's rare that I don't like one of her songs)

"This Land Is Your Land" - Pete Seeger - live - really captures the energy of the moment

"The Deepest Blues are Black" - Foo Fighters (yum)

"I'm On My Way" - The Proclaimers - had forgotten about this song!!

"The Five-Fifteen (reprise)" - Christine Ebersole, from Broadway musical Grey Gardens, a performance that will go down in the annals of history

"Devil Inside" - INXS (this song reminds me so much of college, and making out on the beach with my hot boyfriend who liked to believe he was deep and tormented, when the reality was that he was a fun nerdy goofball. How did I see beneath his hot-tormented-deep surface to the nerd beneath? Because it takes one to know one. Great kisser, too)

"Roll Over Beethoven" - The Beatles

"Home Boys Home" - The Clancy Brothers with Tommy Makem (a rousing song - I have so much Clancy Brothers in my collection that they come up all the time)

"Unsigned Letter" - Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines. I think I may be the only person on the planet who actually liked this weird narcissistic album

"You Better Believe" - The Gay Poppers - from my essential Stompin' at the Savoy collection - a great purchase

"(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace Love and Understanding?" - Elvis Costello. The sad truth is that I believe I have listened to Elvis too much. I have seen him in concert multiple times. Years ago, post-college, he was in constant rotation in my collection. And ... in the same way that I can no longer eat French dressing after over-indulging once when I was 10 years old - I have a hard time listening to Elvis now. But this, I believe, is a perfect song.

"Tymps (The Sick in the Head Song" - Fiona Apple - Love it when she gets whimsical. Dad loved her too. I remember him getting mad when I told her about the brou-haha with her record label, how they didn't want to release her new album because it "didn't have a single". Dad was personally pissed off about that. "That's so STUPID."

"Secretly Dainty" - Pat McCurdy. He's another one, like the Clancy Brothers. He literally haunts my Shuffle.

"Pallin' with Al" - Squirrel Nut Zippers - I prefer them when they are harder, with a rougher edge ("Soon" is my favorite of theirs) - don't like them as much when they get light and "jazzy".

"Resolve" - Foo Fighters. My fear is that someday I will have over-listened to the Foo Fighters to the extent that I over-listened to Elvis Costello, and will no longer be able to listen to them. I try to dole them out to myself in small bites. I love them so much.

"The Night that Goldman Spoke at Union Square" - from the Ragtime Broadway recording. I am in love with that musical. And the book.

"Ave Mary A" - Pink. I think she has a perfect rock and roll voice. Love her.

"Endgame #1" - From the Chess in Concert recording (starring Josh Groban, Idina Menzel, Adam Pascal) - it's really quite phenomenal, actually. I've loved that musical for decades, and always preferred the Broadway recording to the UK recording (I still stand by that) - but I am thrilled that this full show was done recently in concert - and some of the songs ("Anthem" in particular) are far superior than anything that was heard on previous soundtracks. Here he is performing it live. The song needs to be powerful, heartfelt, sincere - without being too earnest. It needs an open throat. It needs freedom of expression. He nails it.

"Calling in the Wind" - The Judds. Yawn. I really used to like them - they just seem way too soft to me now.

"Knock Things Over" - Pat McCurdy. Go away, Pat.

"L.A. Song" - Beth Hart - God, I love this chick. The VOICE.

"Galileo" - Indigo Girls. Ahhhh. Love this song.

"Let Me Be There" - Olivia Newton-John. Happy!!!

"Help Is On Its Way" - Little River Band. This, following on the heels of Olivia, has absolutely made my entire week.

"Don't Go" - Yaz. It is so rare that an iPod Shuffle gives you so many favorites in a row.

"Love Me" - The Phantom - this is from another great collection, Rockabilly Essential

"Justice" - again, from Ragtime - a heartbreaker of a song

"Mamma Mia" - Meryl Streep. Go, Meryl. I mean, HONESTLY.

"Pretty Mary K" - Elliott Smith. A very pretty song. I love him, but the horribleness of his death really hangs over this whole album for me.

"Different People" - No Doubt. There was a time in my life where not a day went by that I didn't listen to this song. Those days have passed, but I still like it.

"The Show Must Go On" - Queen. Oh, Queen. I have no words.

"Chim Chim Cher-ee" - Dick Van Dyke, from Mary Poppins. Strangely annoying when songs like this pop up, but in a way that's what the Shuffle is for. I'm not ever going to go, "Let me listen to the ENTIRETY of the Mary Poppins album" - just not my style, but it is fun to be reminded of songs like this one.

"Mind On Loving" - Little Danny. Awesomeness.

"Is Anybody There?" - William Daniels from 1776 - kind of heartbreaking.

"Difficult for Weirdos" - Robbie Williams. I will follow Robbie Williams to the ends of the earth. I buy all his albums. Boy is prolific. CHILLAX. Some songs suck, some songs are just okay, but there's always one or two on each album that I fall in love with. This, however, is not one of those songs. But it's fun anyway.

"Johnson's Motorcar" - The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem. This is from their Carnegie Hall concert, an album I grew up with. I love how the audience claps at a specific point. Goosebumps.

"Let's Have Sex" - Pat McCurdy. No.

"All Apologies" - Sinéad O'Connor - I love her cover of Nirvana's song. Nirvana's version is awesome, but here, she makes it into a creepy stalker song. Like the girl singing it is someone you do not want to mess with, because boiled bunnies are going to start appearing on your stove.

"Hair of the Dog" - Mike Viola and the Candy Butchers. I honestly do not believe that Mike Viola is capable of writing a bad song, or a boring song, or a "filler" song. He is brilliant.

"Get Out the Map" - Indigo Girls. Okay, girls, okay, I'll get out the map. Stop bossing me around.

"She's Electric" - Oasis. I want to like Oasis more than I do. I LOVE his voice - it's a real anthem-rock voice, but their songs just don't do it for me. THIS one, however, is great. I've been overdosing on it for a couple of weeks now.

"The End" - My Chemical Romance. I hear their stuff and get in touch with my inner emo tween. And my older self wants to tell them, "Boys? Take a deep breath. Relax. And please. Please. Stop shouting. Everything is going to be okay, I promise."

"Hitchin' a Ride" - Green Day. Love this song. But then, I love all their songs. There are very few that don't catch my attention in some way. They sure know how to write a hook you could hang meat on.

"Summer and Lightning" - ELO. I just freakin' love ELO. Their Time album was the first album I bought with my own money - I was 12 years old - and seriously: I've never gotten sick of them since that day 5 million years ago.

"All I Want Is You" - U2. I am seriously so impressed with this Shuffle.

"Tiny Spark" - Brendan Benson. Are you familiar with Brendan Benson? He's my new favorite singer/songwriter. Check him out. This song is terrific. I love his voice, his lyrics, his sound, in general.

"You Really Got a Hold On Me" - The Beatles. Nice - I love the chaotic and improvisatory feel of the harmonizing going on in this recording. Makes you really feel that these are four HUMAN guys doing the music.

"Generator" - The Foo Fighters. Awesome. Great work-out song.

"To the Pirates' Cave" - Klaus Badelt - composer for Pirates of the Caribbean - I love the soundtrack. It's quite repetitive, but I love how huge and symphonic and bombastic it is. Ridiculous, really. Fun.

"Hotel California" - The Eagles (live). The live version is far better than the actual recording. It's hearing the crowd scream at the first sound of that guitar hook that really makes it.

"The Switch and the Spar" - The Raconteurs. They're sometimes a bit too self-conscious for me, "we are the hippest dudes ever" - but I do like some of their songs.

"The Climb" - No Doubt. Try to sing this song in karaoke one night, and you will have a new-found sense of respect for Gwen Stefani's voice and what she is able to do with it.

"Dancing Lessons" - Sinéad O'Connor - I love the opening of this song. Really happy and light music, very unlike the rest of her stuff. Pretty, pretty.

"Be Bop a Lula" - Gene Vincent. It never gets old.

"Just For a Thrill" - Ray Charles. Awesome makeout music.

"Party Girl" - U2 - on their "Live from Paris" album which I adore.

"Popular" - Kristen Chenoweth from Wicked. Delicious diva.

"Cad É Sin Don Té Sin" - The Cassidys. Look, it's nobody's business, mkay?

"Drivin' On" - The Breeders. Went through a huuuge Breeders phase. I can still see my battered little cassette tapes lining my bookshelf. Still love them.

"Serve Yourself" - Mark Hardwick from Pump Doys and Dinettes. Insane. Not all that enjoyable out of context. The iPod Shuffle loses its gleam for a moment.

"Heroin Girl" - Everclear. Ahhhh, we're back. Everclear is my current favorite band. Can't get enough.

"Drown In My Own Tears" - Ray Charles. It's those female back-up singers that make these songs ooze with sex. Well, and him, too.

"Rib Joint" - Sammy Price. Swing it!!

"Lida Rose & Will I Ever Tell You?" - The Buffalo Bills and Shirley Jones from The Music Man. I grew up with this. The counterpoint still satisfies.

"The Jolly Tinker" - The Clancy Brothers. Okay, y'know what, boys? Enough. (Although this song does make me laugh, with the silly ba-dum-ching joke of, "So when I was a tinker ...")

"Wednesday" - Tori Amos. I was "off" Tori for years. It's nice to be back on.

"Doctor Zhivago Suite" - Maurice Jarre - the love theme from Doctor Zhivago (this comes from the tribute concert to David Lean, conducted by Maurice Jarre - that I reviewed here). Beautiful.

Danielle is 12 years old.

She is the world's best (12 year old) guitarist. Her inspirations are Hendrix, Slash, Zakk, Rhoads and idol Van Halen. She's been on Howard Stern. She's been playing out in bars since the age of 10.

Here is a video of her playing "backup" (she insists to the emcee that she doesn't sing - she only "does backup") - but the star here is Danielle. Watch this pre-teen girl go. It's astonishing. She is TWELVE YEARS OLD. (This video is a couple of years old, so she's older now.) But check it out. It's awesome. She's awesome.

"[The authorities] don't even really know what they're opposing. They don't see that music brings energy and good nature to society."

So says Negar Shaghaghi, Iranian indie-pop songwriter, one of the stars of Bahman Ghobadi's new film No One Knows About Persian Cats. The film tells the story of two aspiring musicians in Tehran, trying to connect with other musicians, in an atmosphere fraught with danger. Rock music (ie: Western music) is banned in Iran, so the stories of some of these youngsters are harrowing. The article is a great profile of not only the two musicians Ash Koshanejad and Negar Shaghaghi but also of the situation in Iran right now (including the generation gap, the theme of so many Iranian films). The two applied for asylum in England, which is where they now live, but it is still not an ideal situation. I am sure they would rather be home, and be able to make their art, than living in exile and free. The conundrum. Iranian cinema takes issues that may seem commonplace in Western films (teenage romance, rebellion, depression, etc.), and they become emblematic of the tensions within the entire society. Every film becomes political, even when it is not explicit. The filmmakers work under great strain (see Jafar Panahi for an example of what can happen), and have to deal with censorship and also the bleak fact that their films, if not given the stamp of approval, will never be seen in Iran. Imagine working like that. These people are heroes to me.

I can't wait to see the film. Bahman Ghobadi has worked with actual musicians before (Half Moon was full of them - my review here), which gives his work an immediacy and potency that it wouldn't have otherwise. It becomes a snapshot of a culture. As a Kurd, he has a tremendous sense of identity and loss, which reverbs through his work, and I love that the article compares his latest film to Richard Linklater (there was a Linklater-esque feel to Half Moon as well, even with its elegiac requiem storyline.) It's about people who wander. Looking for ... their tribe. People who are like them. Kindred spirits.

From the article:

When Ash and Negar were kids, the only opportunity they had to hear western rock music was when somebody from their community travelled abroad and brought back CDs. "They'd be copied on to a tape over and over again," says Negar. "We used to write the track names in class when the teacher wasn't looking and take it home with such excitement to listen to it." Even so, whatever they got depended on the tastes of the traveller; often hoping for something similar to Nirvana, they'd end up having to make do with ABBA.

The advent of the internet changed everything for Iranian teenagers, who were suddenly able to participate in global youth culture, employing their technological nous to stay one step ahead of government censors. The fact that the bands in No One Knows About Persian Cats wear Strokes T-shirts and pass around copies of the NME shouldn't seem that strange. But what is the attraction to Ash and Negar of the kind of fey indie music that even within its countries of origin is often considered a bit insular?

"Well, we are indie!" declares Ash. "We had to do it ourselves in bedrooms because if you step out into the streets, you cannot even tell anyone you've just written a song. We would make our own imaginariums in our rooms."

If they'd grown up in England, Take It Easy Hospital's wan, organ-driven indie-pop, topped with earnest observations about the "human jungle", might stand accused of being a little bit twee. But once you learn how hard Ash and Negar have had to fight just to get their songs heard, they take on a whole new complexion. And despite their ugly experiences in Iran, they are determined not to make rebel rock. "Me, I don't care about politics," says Negar. "The value of art is a lot more than politics. Politics is something that passes, but art stays for years."

Go read the whole thing.

It's tremendously moving and just goes to show you that things like Nirvana - or Leonardo DiCaprio - are often far more effective cultural ambassadors than any political or social figure, or any "hearts and minds" campaign. To paraphrase Camille Paglia: "If we ever meet beings from another planet and want to show them who we are, it is by our art that we will want to be known."

No One Knows About Persian Cats opens in the US on April 16, 2010.

Sláinte

Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig!

Now let's bring it down. Wayyyyy down.

iPod shuffle on a rainy day

Khyber Pass - Ministry (the closing song in The Hurt Locker)

Go - Bleu

Folk Singer - Brendan Benson (rockin'. I love him.)

Smile - U2

Brick By Brick - Paramore

One Hundred and Two - The Judds

I Know Him So Well (from "Chess in Concert: Live") - Idina Menzel and Kelly Ellis

Heroin Girl - Everclear

Last Caress/Green Hell - Metallica

Turn It Off - Paramore

Unchain My Heart - Ray Charles

Van Diemen's Land - U2

Take It All - Marion Cotillard (from "Nine")

At the End of the Day - Everclear

Plane to Chicago - Elliot Goldenthal (from the "Public Enemies" soundtrack)

Explosivo - Tenacious D

Hound Dog - Sha-Na-Na (from the "Grease" soundtrack. Oh, Sha-Na-Na.)

Damage Case - Metallica

All You Need is Love - Dana Fuchs & Jim Sturgess (from the "Across the Universe" soundtrack)

Whiskey in the Jar - Thin Lizzy

Ain't Got No Grass - The Tribe in the revival of "Hair" on Broadway

Window in the Skies - U2

Same Song and Dance - Eminem

Jesus Christ Pose - Soundgarden

Forevermore - Katie Herzig

Tell the Truth - Ray Charles

Sodomy - Bruce Ryness (from the Broadway revival of "Hair")

Astronomy - Metallica

Gimme Gimme - Sutton Foster (from "Thoroughly Modern Millie")

Destiny - Tenacious D

I Can Do That - Wayne Cilento (from "Chorus Line")

For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramore

Unusual Way - Griffith Frank (from "Nine" - the movie)

Blue Veins - The Raconteurs

Song From an American Movie, Pt. 1 - Everclear

My Conviction - Andrew Kober (from the Broadway revival of "Hair")

Bird's Eye View - Brendan Benson

Rock 'n Roll Is Here to Stay - Sha-Na-Na (really? Two Sha-Na-Na songs in one shuffle? From "Grease")

Die Die My Darling - Metallica

Restless Heart Syndrome - Green Day

I'm Gonna Run Away - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

Do You Think It's Alright? - The Who (from "Tommy")

When Love Comes to Town - U2 and BB King

Someone Else's Story - Kelly Ellis (from the live concert of "Chess")

The Acid Queen - The Who

Oh Timbaland - Timbaland

History - Tenacious D

End Love - Ok Go

Apparently today (3/14) is Pi Day

As in: π.

In honor of Pi Day, please check out the clip below the jump. Lucy Kaplansky is one of my favorite current-day folk singers. I have seen her perform numerous times. Her father was a mathematician, and he wrote "a song about Pi", where the notes correspond to the starting digits of the eternal Pi. I have seen Kaplansky perform this, and it was a funny moment: I saw her perform at Maxwell's once, in Hoboken, and someone requested "Song About Pi", and she was so touched, it took her so aback - this is not a song she has ever recorded, but over the years it has become a fan favorite. Also, the fact that her father (a man she obviously loved very much) wrote it.

So, in honor of Pi Day, here is Lucy Kaplansky singing her dad's song "Song About Pi". So glad it was on Youtube. The second I saw it was Pi Day, I thought of Lucy Kaplansky and her father.

"I think putting Yeats to rock'n'roll and doing it for 20 songs is radical."

Wonderful piece about setting poems from famous poets to music, in particular Yeats. The focus of the piece is on The Waterboys (especially Mike Scott) who has been determined to put Yeats's stuff to music, and has been doing so for years.

I own Fisherman's Blues (an album by the Waterboys) which has the haunting version of Yeats's "The Stolen Child" on it - a poem I will always have great affection for because we went to that spot in Ireland, as kids, with the little waterfall in the woods, and "The Stolen Child" on a plaque right there - and there was something about it: the setting, plus the poem - that just made it come alive to me. Not to mention the haunting refrain:

For the world's more feel of weeping than you can understand.

There I was, in Ireland, as a 14 year old pudgy teenager, and I feverishly copied down the entire poem, standing there in the woods, as my family wandered around, because I knew I wanted to have it with me. I NEEDED to have it with me. There was no Google. Naturally, with a father like mine, there were multiple copies of said poem back home - and while it is certainly not considered Yeats's greatest, it had a real impact on me back then, and I respect it for that. I entered into the poem. And to this day, I can never read that poem without picturing that spot in Ireland, the green woods, the small path, and the tall thin eerie waterfall. They are inextricably linked.

The Waterboys put "The Stolen Child" to music (audio clip below the jump). And it was years after my expereince in the woods in Ireland when I heard their version of the Yeats poem, but to me: it captures what it feels like there, and what the poem feels like, its tremendous sadness, loss, grief, and also an eerie quality - like the Pied Piper leading the children away forever from their homeland. I love the recording.

Back to The Waterboys. Read the article above. Mike Scott, frontman for The Waterboys is I guess what you would call a "Yeats geek" (he calls himself an "archivist")- and he is now working on a larger project, more extended, and they're doing a concert at the Abbey Theatre (that Yeats helped form back in the day), and it's all very exciting. There will be a new album of all of these live concerts - called Appointment with Mr. Yeats. Very exciting.

Funny: his last comment in the article sort of dovetails with my thoughts on "intimidation" that I've been bandying about lately. Writers who intimidate. The ones you love above all else. The ones who make you feel it's useless to even write at all. Here is Mike Scott wrestling with that influence, as a way to honor him, but also as a way to re-contextualize the work of a poet who died in 1939. It's beautiful. Scott states, "I can't be intimidated."

I really look forward to An Appointment with Mr. Yeats.

THE STOLEN CHILD (by WB Yeats - and covered by The Waterboys on Fisherman's Blues)

WHERE dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water rats;
There we've hid our faery vats,
Full of berrys
And of reddest stolen cherries.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim gray sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn-eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal chest.
For he comes, the human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than he can understand.

Winter solstice at Newgrange: "Nobody knows, love."

Today is the winter solstice which makes me think of a lot of things - the winter solstice parties we had in college and stuff like that, but mainly it makes me think of Newgrange, a place I have been to numerous times (I have a picture on my fridge of me and Jean at Newgrange - taken by Siobhan):

Here is my impression of being on a tour at Newgrange, which has gone down in just this manner pretty much every time I have gone there. You have to imagine the thick Irish brogues to really get the effect.

American accent: "So ... what do all these spirals signify?"

Irish accent: "Well, we don't really know. But aren't they lovely?"

American accent: "And what exactly happened in these recesses? Were they burial tombs, or ..."

Irish accent: "Well, actually, nobody knows, love."

American accent: "These standing stones are amazing. Why did they place them like that?"

Irish accent: "Well, we don't really know."

Literally. The tour went on like that for 45 minutes. It was positively charming. I loved every second of it. Basically the theme was: Nobody knows what the hell went on here, but isn't it lovely?

One of the most amazing places I've ever been. I highly recommend it to you all. Here are 101 facts about New grange. I guess there are some things that "we know".

I have a couple of wee goals in life - not really personal achievement goals - but things I would like to see, and one of them is I would love to be there at Newgrange (with all the crowds) on the winter solstice - to see the sun illuminate the inner tomb. What happens is - on the winter solstice - you can buy a ticket to hang out either around New grange - or within the inner tomb (I think the waiting list is years long) - and at sunrise (which, in Ireland, is an iffy prospect - it's usually rainy during winter solstice) the sun enters the main door, crawls up the passageway, and FLOODS the inner tomb with light. They recreate it during the tour (where the ongoing theme is "Well, nobody really knows, love"). You can't believe the geometry of the place, the architecture ... that it would be created in such a manner that light would crawl UP the pathway and then flood into the inner chamber, lighting it as though it were from electric power. Who WERE these people?

The fact that "nobody knows" is what makes the place so special, so magical.

An ancient and important site.

You know what I felt at Newgrange, standing in the pitch black with my sisters, in that ancient tomb, with the spiral rock carvings above and below us, waiting for the light to crawl up the slanting passage? I felt: Man. It is awesome to be a member of the human race. Humans are absolutely beyond belief. I am really PROUD of us. Even though we can't know what exactly drove those ancient people to create such a structure - we can marvel at their knowledge, their spirit, their drive. They are in an unending continuum with this event. It's the same impetus. They knew to build the inner passageway at just the right slant upwards - so that the sun could crawl upwards and flood the inner passageway and inner "tomb" (or whatever it was) for the maximum amount of time. When you duck down under the entrance stone, and enter the darkness - you feel the path go on a steep incline. You are inside the earth, walking UP. How did they know? Well, they just did. And I am just proud of the human race for all of that. What a mystery we are. What a neverending and curious mystery.

American accent: "And ... sorry ... I know we've covered this ... but what was going on with those spirals??"

Irish accent, "Oh, love, nobody really knows."

The whole "winter solstice event" at Newgrange is something I have always wanted to do - even though it's nigh on impossible to get a ticket, and you have to do a "solstice draw", like a lottery - to see if you'll be able to be one of the lucky few. And of course since it's Ireland in December, there is no guarantee that there will even be sun on that day. But when there is? Magic. Goosebump-magic.

On the tour of Newgrange, when you are in the inner chamber, they turn off all the lights - and do a recreation of what it would look like if you were there on the sunrise at winter solstice. But to see it with the actual sun? As the people who built the mysterious structure would have seen it? Now that would be something.

Newgrange is a passage tomb north of Dublin. There are quite a few other passage tombs up there, but Newgrange is the biggest and most famous. You've probably seen photos of the rocks inside that are covered with spirals. Who knows why these ancient people were into spirals - but it's psychedelic and arresting to see. The spirals are everywhere. You go into the inner chamber via a small narrow passageway - with earthen floor - and the path gently slopes up (a very important element in the winter solstice miracle. The mathematical and astronomical sophistication of the ancients is something to stand in awe before.) So what happened on the winter solstice is: when you are inside the inner chamber (and there are indentations all around - with big scooped-out spaces - nobody knows what was done there - were they graves of important community members? Nobody knows, love) - But anyway, it's pitch black in there. And on the winter solstice, when the sun rises (and it's not a rainy or misty day, etc.) - slow rays of light creep thru the open passage door - and crawl up the path (if the path were not on an incline, this miracle would not work) - and then when the rays reach the inner chamber, the whole thing is FLOODED with light. Light literally pours into the darkness. It pours UP the path, ray by ray ... and then reaches the inner chamber and everything bursts into visibility. How did they know? Why did they build it? What were they doing? It's an amazing place. Being at Newgrange is like being in the presence of the Pyramids or Stone Henge or any of those other monolithic structures filled with sophistication and symbols and ancient wisdom ... and to see the rays of sun slowly illuminate the entire chamber, hidden deep within the earth ... Just makes you feel all humble and awestruck and quiet.

And every winter solstice crowds of people gather at Newgrange - from all over the world. Only a lucky few get spots in the inner chamber - where you can probably fit 15 people, maybe 20. You have to draw slots - and there are waiting lists of years to get those spots. But many people just camp out on the chilly grass in front of the passage tomb, to watch the sun rise from there. How amazing it would be, though, to be one of the folks inside. To watch the sun fill up the earthen chamber ... just like the ancients did. Must be amazing!

Here are some pictures from past winter solstices at Newgrange:

That's from within the inner corridor that slopes upward into the chamber. When the sun first peeks over the horizon - the sun rays pierce through the main door like a laser. Unbelievable.

Slowly, as the sun rises - the rays continue to flood forward - going around slight curves, slowly rising up the corridor ... Eventually the inner chamber floods with light as bright as day. It's incredible.

And here's a view of Newgrange from the outside, winter solstice 2002.

Happy solstice.

Snowy Morning/Afternoon iPod Shuffle

Christmas preparations, all morning. Listening to music the whole time, and it was a pretty damn fun shuffle, have to say. Strange clusters. I could do without the Mary Poppins songs coming up so often, but other than that, no complaints.

"Outshined" - Soundgarden

"Seether" - Veruca Salt

"Too Late Too Late" - Metallica

"Crawl" - Kings of Leon

"Science Can't Be Coy" - Siobhan O'Malley

"Brilliant Petty Crime" - Siobhan O'Malley (love it - back to back!!)

"Go To the Mirror" - The Who (Tommy)

"Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" - Bono

"How the Other Half Lives" - Sutton Foster and cast, Thoroughly Modern Millie - speaking of ...

"Everything" - Michael Buble

"Overkill" - Metallica

"The Deal (No Deal)" - Marti Bellow, Idina Menzel & Josh Groban, from Chess: Live in Concert

"Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2" - Pink Floyd

"One Mint Julep" - Ray Charles

"Defy You" - The Offspring

"Chicago Shake" - The Bruce Fowler Big Band

"Purple Haze" - Jimi Hendrix

"Take It All" - Marion Cotillard (from Nine soundtrack)

"Give Me the Creeps" - Siobhan O'Malley (video here!)

"Maybe Your Baby's Got the Blues" - The Judds

"Something" - Jim Sturgess (from Across the Universe soundtrack)

"Don't Stand So Close to Me" - the Glee cast (well, all of them except cousin Mike, blast it)

"Sunglasses at Night" - Corey Hart

"Eclipse" - Pink Floyd

"You and I (reprise)" - Idina Menzel & Josh Groban, from Chess: Live in Concert

"Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" - Beyonce

"Not for the Life Of Me" - Sutton Foster, Thoroughly Modern Millie

"Our New Year" - Tori Amos

"Finale" - from Nine (the movie soundtrack)

"What a Piece of Work is Man / How Dare They Try" - cast of new Broadway production of Hair (which totally rocks)

"Halleluia I Love Her So" - Ray Charles

"Love What You Do" - The Divine Comedy

"Dio" - Tenacious D

"Nasty Letter" - Otis Taylor

"I Want To Hold Your Hand" - TV Carpio (from Across the Universe)

"Do You Believe In Love (live)" - Huey Lewis & the News

"I Hope I Get It" - cast of original Broadway production of A Chorus Line

"Another State of Mind" - Green Day

"Tommy's Holiday Camp" - The Who, from Tommy

"What I Did For Love" - Priscilla Lopez, from A Chorus Line

"Threesome" - The Divine Comedy

"Dear Lover" - Foo Fighters

"Jesus Christ Pose" - Soundgarden

"POD" - Tenacious D

"If I Fell" - Evan Rachel Wood (from Across the Universe)

"Let the Sun Shine In" - cast of Broadway revival of Hair

"You're Quiet" - Brendan Benson

"Sittin' Pretty" - Brendan Benson

"Isn't He a Strange One" - The Judds

"Unusual Way" - Nicole Kidman (from Nine) - God, this song is so heartbreaking ("It scares me so that I can hardly speak...")

"Sister Suffragette" - Glynis Johns, from Mary Poppins

"Broken Boy Soldiers" - The Raconteurs

"Jesus Was a Democrat" - Everclear

"Karate Schnitzel" - Tenacious D

"My Darling" - Eminem

"Just For a Thrill" - Ray Charles

"I Am the Walrus" - Bono (from Across the Universe)

"Board Meeting" - Timbaland (featuring Magoo)

"Truly Scrumptious" - from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

"Flavor" - Tori Amos

"Underture" - The Who (Tommy - uhm, it's a Tommy cluster!)

"I'm Blessed" - Brendan Benson

"Hide Nor Hair" - Ray Charles

"Jolly Holiday" - Dick van Dyke and Julie Andrews, Mary Poppins

"Black Boys" - from new Broadway production of Hair - rockin'

Why: music video for "These Hands" and "January Twentysomething"

Directed by Ben Barnes.

Starring my awesome nephew Cashel who does an amazing job here. And my brother's girlfriend Melody is also in it, in one heart-wrenching shot.

I'm so proud.

A couple things to note:

1. Brendan was there during the shoot, and described seeing the lead actor, John Walcutt - with all of the arrows out of his back (he's obviously an incredible actor, just WATCH him) - sitting on a break with Cashel, chatting. And he's wearing the jacket with the arrows coming out of his back (a hand-made costume, unbelievable) - but by that point, it's normal that that is what he is wearing, so there he and Cashel sat, having a snack, arrows out of Walcutt's back, talking about Star Wars or whatever. I love this man.

2. I love everyone on the shoot for their kindness to Cashel.

3. The director, Ben Barnes, came to Cashel's school play a couple of weeks ago. You know, because Cashel is "his actor", they were colleagues, so to speak, so he came out to the middle school to support Cash. This speaks volumes of his good character. Here's an interview with Barnes about the video.

Enjoy. It's intense.

Cash does a great job, and it's definitely difficult to see him in this situation, but I know he had a lot of fun doing the shoot.

That'll Learn Ya reunites

That'll Learn Ya was a band formed at URI, and their heyday was when I was a student there. Their success as a local band was not only on the URI campus, although that was their main fan base. If you are a Rhode Islander of a certain age, you remember That'll Learn Ya. The lead singer, Terry Fallon, was somehow involved in the theatre department at URI, although it was right before my time, but I remember seeing him around. They were stars. Their shows jangled with energy, and their songs were fantastic. Brendan was the big fan - he was obsessed with them. In January 2008, he wrote a blog-post about one of the songs of theirs he remembered: "Robert DeNiro Movies" (a hit, if there ever was one). Read Brendan's reminiscences, and then check out the comments. Of Rhode Islanders who remember.

That'll Learn Ya was pre-Internet. Those old cassettes of their albums ... where are they now? Find-able? Yes? No? I was talking with my brother about That'll Learn Ya this past weekend, and talking about memory. We are of the generation that straddles that divide: the tech-boom divide. We remember 45s, and turntables, and lifting the handle of the damn record player arm to drop it down into the exact groove we wanted. We remember things having to LAST, because ... that was the technology at the time. It was up to us to hold onto things, keep them close and well-preserved, because if you lost such-and-such? Where would you get it again? Nothing was forever. Things disappeared back then. If you lost something, you couldn't find it again. There was no instantly-accessible Web archive where you could immediately look up any damn thing you wanted.

So That'll Learn Ya disappeared. For 20 years. Brendan is an obsessive, like myself, and he searched, for years, for those old cassette tapes - the only evidence he had of That'll Learn Ya's music. Then, suddenly, we've got the Web, we can reach out, we can put things out there into the universe, asking for help in finding something - because, whaddya know, it turns out that things DON'T disappear. Not if you remember them. But that was totally not the case back in the late 80s. I have so many memories of scouring the TV Guide on a weekly basis to see if certain things would play that week, TV movies I had seen once, 4 years before, and was DYING to see again. That was the only way I would know. What if Orphan Train plays at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night and I don't know about it? That means it will be yet another 4 years before I can see it again. My memory of it was strong, but the ability to re-live, re-watch, re-listen - was minimal back then. This is a world that has completely vanished in one generation. Rather extraordinary, no?

The last comment on Brendan's post is from July of this year and it reads:

Recently TLY put together a Facebook profile. They uploaded a bunch of their songs with Robert Deniro Movies being one of them. There is also a possible reunion coming together.

When That'll Learn Ya joined Facebook, there was a ripple effect among my friends from Rhode Island. One after another after another "became fans" of That'll Learn Ya, and it was so strange, so good to 'see' those guys again, even though I did not know them, and haven't seen them play in two decades. What have they been up to?

Then came word that they were playing a reunion show on Saturday, November 28, 2009 at The Ocean Mist, a fantastic bar (basically a huge rickety SHACK on the beach, with a deck that the waves roll right under) - and the timing could not have been more perfect. Brendan was going to be in town for Thanksgiving. He was out of his mind. That'll Learn Ya? Reuniting? At the OCEAN MIST? While he was home? What??

On Saturday, there was the O'Malley Thanksgiving. An emotional day. Everyone left at around 6 p.m. and I totally could have gotten into my pajamas right then and never left the couch for the rest of the night. That'll Learn Ya was playing on the bill with, I think, 4 other Rhode Island bands. They were going up third, which meant they wouldn't start to play until 11 p.m. I'm an old lady. Even older now that I just had my birthday on Friday. At 6 p.m. it was inconceivable that I could be awake long enough to get my ass down to the Ocean Mist. But we were going to meet up at Jean and Pat's beforehand, and then all head down, so I succumbed to O'Malley peer pressure (so glad I did), and hung in there. Lucy was at Pat's parents' house, so the two of them were coming out too. Very exciting. Brendan and I drove over to Jean and Pat's. It was a chilly night. Everyone was sitting out on the screened-in porch. Some people there didn't remember That'll Learn Ya, others did - and we all were heading down to the Mist in one hilarious caravan. We wanted to get there by 9 p.m. After the intensity of the day, it was nice to just hang out and relax.

Jokes were made about how dead it was going to be that night at The Mist. Pretty much everyone on that porch has worked at The Mist at some point in their lives, and Katie was on call that night. She was "third" on the list, and she was hoping she wouldn't get called. Someone had stopped by there earlier that night and reported that it was totally dead. My view was - even if it was just US there, it wouldn't matter - it would be a great show. However, judging from the frenzied response on That'll Learn Ya's Facebook page, I had a feeling the place would be packed. It was Thanksgiving weekend, a perfect time. Many of us from that generation no longer live in Rhode Island, but we come home for the holiday. We would all be there. I don't know. I thought the joint would be jumpin'. And whaddya know, at about 8:30, Katie's cell phone rang. She was being summoned to the Mist to work. Which meant the crowds were arriving. Which meant they needed help behind the bar. Which meant it would be packed.

Exciting!

We all got into our respective cars and took off down route 1. Bren was driving. The road up and down outside the Mist was lined with cars. People were parking illegally, with abandon. We cruised up and down the strip looking for a space. "I have never seen it like this," said Bren. We finally squeezed into a spot that said "No Parking" directly above it, but everybody else was freely blocking fire hydrants, crosswalks and driveways, so we threw our hats into the ring. The ocean was crashing on the beach to our right, that ever-present roar, as we hurried along the street to the bar. We walked into the Mist and the place was packed, wall-to-wall people. I ended up seeing tons of people I knew - the biggest surprise being Ram, an old friend from high school. Crazy! But there were also people there that I have known, basically, my whole life. People I played tag and hide-and-go-seek with, T-shirts stained with popsicles and fudgsicles. Childhood friends. Nuts. It was awesome. I was SO glad I wasn't in my pajamas, at home, and the next morning Brendan would say to me, "It was so great, Sheila - wish you had been there." So glad.

During the show, the huge space in front of the stage crammed with people, people dancing and jumping up and down and taking pictures - shouting along with the songs, songs none of us have heard in 20 years, but the lyrics remain intact in our head - Jean leaned over and whispered to me, "I have never seen it like this." Jean has worked at the Mist for years. It was a special special night. You could feel it in the air.

But. I really must pass the baton now to my dear brother Brendan, an amazing writer - he brings me to tears on a regular basis. He did a write-up of the show which is not to be missed, even if you've never heard of That'll Learn Ya. Because we all have those things in our lives - music, a book, a movie - that reminds us of another time, a time when we were young, different, hopeful, sad, whatever. And these things, while they may seem ephemeral, hard to pin down, are actually not. They are as solid, as tangible, as the ocean pounding the sand beneath the Mist. It is strangely comforting. Rediscovering this helps us remember who we are.

Nothing goes away.

Here is Brendan's review of the That'll Learn Ya reunion at the Ocean Mist, on November 28, 2009.

And again, check out the comments. Love, remembrance, acknowledgement, excitement, plus a comment from one of the band members himself.

One of the most beautiful nights I have had in recent memory.

Nothing - nothing - nothing is the same.

Goosebumps. Transcendent. Barbra Streisand, 1968, "A Happening in Central Park", singing "He Touched Me".

Update: It was a complete coincidence that I happened to post this on National Coming Out Day. I had forgotten. Mitchell reminded me, by saying (in response to this gorgeous performance), "If this doesn't ease the coming out process, nothing ever will!" So, to all of my out gay friends, bless you, and thank you for being in my life, in all of your glory and warmth and support.

In celebration, let's all glory in Barbra. She's at the height of her powers here.

Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?

Because I can't get enough of Tenacious D, and of this song in particular (clip below). It is on eternal repeat. "Wonderboy". My neighbors must be like, "Wow, so glad that chick moved in. So glad I get to hear Tenacious D 24/7 ever since she moved in." Is there anything more ridiculous, more self-parodying, more This is Spinal Tap, than this song? And yet they COMMIT like CRAZY to it - knowing that it is parody, knowing that it is ridiculous ... they fill it with heart and humor ... that may be too subtle for some sensibilities ... but I tell you, it hits me right in the sweet spot.

"He can kill a YAK from 200 yards away ... WITH MIND BULLETS ..."

And yet Jack Black's performance, in and of itself, is magnificent. Magnificent. There's not one part of himself that is removed from it, or detached. It's not snarky. It's a TRIBUTE. A tribute to the grandiose rock bands like Led Zeppelin that inspire him.

I maintain my wild-card position, that Jack Black is a future Oscar winner. At the very LEAST a nominee. All it would take is the right PART. Someone utilize this man. He has already been utilized quite well. High Fidelity - it seems like that part was written for him, and I get the feeling that Jack Black is a master at "making something his own". When he's not used well, he can get general, but that is true of a lot of highly talented actors. He's specific. School of Rock tapped into that specificity as well. As far as I'm concerned, he can do it all.

If "they" just let him.

Or if Jack Black lets himself.

That's the danger with a talent like his. He reminds me of Jack Nicholson. This is a good thing. His own survival instinct is his best ally. He won't BE manipulated. He has the same mischievous spirit, the humor that cannot be tamped down ... he refuses sentiment. He just can't do it. It's not that he WON'T cheapen himself that way. It's that he CAN'T. Neither can Nicholson. His talent helps him wriggle out of tight spots that conventional directors place him in.

I'll tell you why I think he is a future Oscar winner, and it has to do with one moment he had in the movie Shallow Hal. Scorn if you must, but realize, in the midst of your scorn, that you may be wrong. In fact you probably are. If there's anything I know about myself, it's that I have a damn good eye. I recognize truth. I can see phoniness of behavior from 5 miles away. In a social situation and in a film. Now "phoniness" in acting is not always malevolent (as it is in real life). Sometimes "phoniness" in acting comes from a variety of factors: the actor is over his/her head, the direction is terrible, the script is bad ... an actor does not act alone. It is, in its very nature, a collaborative act. Regardless of the reason (and I am all about the reasons), I can clock it immediately. "Phony." "Not real." "Not coming from a truthful place." Many major movie stars cheapen their gift - they can't help it, or they just feel that that is what is required of them to be a star, or (worse) they can't see that that is even what they are doing. They cheapen it by being pressured into being sentimental, cliched, by acting like someone other than who they are. If there is one selling point of the old studio system (and there were many) it's that actors rarely were forced into roles that were against who they actually were. The trend now in acting is "versatility". I find it to be a trend that rewards facile talent, rather than deep talent. If you can do an accent, and have a putty bulbous nose, and limp, and are able to embody a Siberian ice princess circa 4 a.d., then you have "talent". I don't scorn skill like that if it's true skill, and not just a gimmick. But if you look at the Bogarts, the Cagneys, the Stanwycks, the Grants ... they were not rewarded for their "versatility". Cagney didn't play things that went completely AGAINST who he was, thinking that THAT would prove he really had talent. Being able to do accents, and walks, and gestures is skill - and there are some who are highly skilled mimics, so skilled that it actually approaches channeling (phone call for Meryl Streep ... ) ... but "essence" acting (as I call it) is out of style now. An actor who understands his own ESSENCE and can bring it to the screen. Mickey Rourke is an essence actor. So is Jack Black. It's old-school, what they do.

Back to the moment that convinced me that not only is Jack Black talented (obviously) but he has what it takes to sucker-punch an audience in the way that is required to be an Oscar contender. Not to take away from the work he has already done. An Oscar is not the measure of an actor's worth. Cary Grant hasn't won an Oscar. Neither has Gena Rowlands. Or Mickey Rourke. It's meaningless. These people are untouchable.

When I say "Oscar-contender" here with someone like Jack Black, I am really talking about his potential to move an audience (uhm, like Wonderboy does), and to take a specific experience and make it wholly universal. And to do that, alongside his manic comic sensibility, is so rare as to be almost unheard of. So many comedic actors slide into schmaltz when they attempt drama. Comedy requires us to LIKE the comic, but acting has different requirements. Many comics fail in that transfer, because they still need to be liked. Even with Black's abrasiveness, his ability to capture truly unenlightened and yet self-righteous individuals, it's kind of impossible NOT to like him. He's already got that in the bag.

In Shallow Hal he plays a dude named Hal who is, well, shallow. Naturally. The guy looks like Jack Black, yet he seems to feel that he is entitled to a supermodel as a girlfriend. He has a warped sense of himself, which goes hand in hand with a disgust for women who are less than perfect. If he's with a "dog" then what would that say about him? He's rather an awful person. Through various magical moments (one involving an encounter with Tony Robbins), Hal becomes literally unable to NOT see inner beauty. He sees what he believes to be a beautiful babe walking down the street, he hits on her, and is amazed that she responds. His friends are horrified, because we see what THEY see ... the girl has a snaggle tooth, or she's chubby, she has straggly hair ... but he can't see that. He looks around and sees beauty everywhere, beauty that is responsive to HIM. He starts to date the most fabulous girl he has ever met - played (wonderfully, actually, and I'm not a fan) by Gwyneth Paltrow. We know that she is obese, we see her reflections in the windows and mirrors, but HE sees a lithe gorgeous Gwyneth. I was turned off by the ad campaign for the film ("hahaha look at the fat girl ..." etc.) but when I finally saw the film I realized how subversive and pointed its commentary actually was. The best part of Paltrow's performance is that she doesn't play, in any way shape or form, a victim. A sad fat girl. No, she is an extrovert. A fabulous girl, who has a lot of interests, and dreams (outside of finding a mate), who knows who she is, knows her limitations, but really enjoys life. She has opinions about things, she's passionate and funny, and Jack Black (thinking she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow) cannot believe his luck. She likes him? And she looks like THAT? You can see the setup here. I mean, remember the title. What happens to us when we judge people on their looks? When we stay "shallow"? How much do we miss by judging a book by its cover?

The moment in this movie that gave me my "a-ha" moment in terms of Black's ability as a dramatic actor is as good a moment as any heavy-hitting dramatic actor has ever had in any Oscar-contending film. Paltrow's character volunteers in what we later learn is the burn unit of a children's hospital. But we don't know what these kids are in there for at first, because we see them through Jack Black's characters eyes. They are precious perfect little unflawed beings. Paltrow, unlike most fat characters in film, has a LIFE. She has good parents, and a lot of dreams. She's not immediately love-struck by Jack Black in a desperate way. She knows that she has to "vet" him, like any woman has to do with any potential mate in her life. How does he feel about family? How does he feel about kids? Who is he? What does he want? These are important questions any woman has to ask when considering a man as her mate ... and Paltrow, by taking him to the burn unit, is doing that. How will he handle this? Will he cringe from the kids? (But again, the audience, seeing the film through his eyes, are in the dark. We don't know why these kids are in the hospital. They may be sick, but they don't LOOK sick). Jack Black's character, still in the magical dreamspace, doesn't know that what he is seeing is INNER beauty, freely plays with these kids, picking them up, and kissing them, naturally being a beautiful companion with them. Would he have cringed if he had been able to perceive their deformities, their scars, their burns?

Later in the film, the "veil" is ripped from his eyes. The magic is gone. He now knows that his girlfriend is obese, that she DOESN'T look like Gwyneth Paltrow. He does not behave honorably. He blows her off in the worst most cowardly way possible. But he feels terribly about it. He starts to pursue Paltrow again, to apologize, he has broken her heart, she won't answer the phone. He's desperate. He goes to the hospital, to see if he can catch her during one of her shifts. As he wanders around, a little girl calls out to him. She recognizes him from when he visited with Paltrow. Black looks at her. Confused.

We see what he sees.

A tiny 8 or 9 year old girl whose entire face has been burned off. She has a few strands of hair on her head. But we know who it is. He doesn't know yet, but we do.

She says to him, "My name is Sally [whatever her name is] - don't you remember me?"

It is in this moment that the light dawns over Jack Black's face. He realizes what has happened to him. Not only does he realize what he has done to the Paltrow character, but he realizes what he has done to every single person he has ever met. Even precious little beings like this burned little girl.

He can't hide what is happening with him. Everything goes soft and tender. He squats down onto her level, and she comes to him, and they hug. His heart is breaking. His tenderness is beautiful. His voice is loving and soft - "Hi, Sally ... hi, beautiful ..." but he's playing so much more there. Grief is there for him, grief at all of the time he has wasted not seeing people. In his "former life", he might have missed out on this beautiful little human being, because of her burned face. He would have only seen that. And what a tragedy.

Not just for "shallow Hal", but for all of us.

It's my favorite moment of Jack Black's acting. Ever. There's a primal gentleness in him there that seems to me to be wholly natural, nothing forced, and he is brave enough to give us a good close look at his essence. No hiding. He can't do it.

You show me an actor who could have played that moment better, without sliding into sugary sentimentality. Nicholson could do it. Bridges could do it. Cagney could do it. That's the realm we're in with Black.

Whatever he does, you can be damn sure it won't be FACILE.

Or PHONY.

He is incapable of it.

In that vein, let's just enjoy Tenacious D, helping us to rise above the "mucky-muck."

Also: boy can SING.

Do I lie in the backseat of your mind?

It should be forever
God told me
We're born into the wrong time

Like so much else, I have cousin Mike to thank for alerting me to this song. Carina Round: "Backseat". It's been the soundtrack of my days for a couple weeks now, because of what I am working on and writing.

iPod shuffle

Long long drive today. I'm starting to be able to listen to music again. Thank God, because I needed my iPod on this drive today where I barely was able to go over 40 miles an hour for four straight hours. There are still many triggers for me, with music, but they seemed to be isolated to specific songs.

Glad the drive is over though. So many damn cars on the road. Beach day!

For your perusal, here's how the iPod shuffle went:

"Xanadu"- Olivia Newton John

"These Are the Days Of Our Lives" - Queen

"Tiny Grief Song" - Sinéad O'Connor

"Wind That Shakes the Barley" - The Chieftains

"Johnny Allen's/Sporting Nell" - Billy McComiskey

"Johnny Has Gone" - Varetta Dillard

"I'll Build a Stairway to Paradise" - Rufus Wainwright

"Mosh" - Eminem

"Everything Reminds Me of Her" - Elliott Smith

"Riverdance" - Bill Whelan

"Wednesday" - Tori Amos

"On Any Other Day" - The Police

"Shadows of the Night" - Pat Benatar

"A Way to Say Goodbye" - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers (waterworks)

"All Over the World" - ELO

"Journey On" - from Ragtime

"Blackjack" - Ray Charles

"Exit Music (For a Film)" - Radiohead (dangerous memories. waterworks averted)

"A New Deal for Christmas" - from Annie

"Stoppin' for Love" - KT Tunstall

"What to do with Michael" - Mike Viola (waterworks)

"Swanee" - Judy Garland

"Please" - The Nylons

"No Man's Land/Flowers of the Forest" - June Tabor

"Ass Like That" - Eminem

"Got My Own Thing" - Liz Phair

"The Fundy Bay Forecast" - Siobhan O'Malley (go, sis!!)

"Entering Grey Gardens" - from Grey Gardens

"Nothing Else Matters" - Metallica

"Toxic" - Britney Spears

"So Long Toots" - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

"Step by Step" - Whitney Houston

"Is It My Love For You?" - Frank Sinatra (from Anchors Aweigh, little Dean Stockwell's movie debut, of course)

"Phoenix" - Dan Fogleberg (like my tattoo)

"Heartbreak Again" - Pat McCurdy

"Pocaontas" - Everclear

"Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" - Frank Sinatra

"Fathers of Fathers" - from Closer Than Ever (waterworks.)

"Levon" - Elton John

"Desolation Row" - My Chemical Romance (boys? Relax.)

"Any Place I Hang My Hat Is Home" - Audra McDonald

"Sun Drenched" - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers

"In the Mood" - The Puppini Sisters

"Báidin Fheilimi" - The Cassidys

"4 Minutes" - Madonna and Justin Timberlake

"Who's Got the Action?" - Dean Martin

"Jeremy" - Pearl Jam

"Don't You Know" - Ray Charles

"Anchors Aweigh" - from Anchors Aweigh, and you can hear Dean Stockwell's little mouse voice singing along with gusto

"Yahweh" - U2

"Kenny" - Bleu

"OK, It's Alright With Me" - Eric Hutchinson

"Night in the City" - ELO

"Crosseyed" - Brendan Benson

"Grease" - Frankie Valli (it never gets old.)

"Holiday" - Green Day

"Reilly's Daughter" - The Clancy Brothers

"Alone + Easy Target" - Foo Fighters

"Back in the USSR" - The Beatles

"Crack a Bottle" - Eminem, Dr. Dre and 50 Cent (love love love it)

"Drum Boogie" - Gene Krupa

"Copperline" - James Taylor

"Without You" - The Dixie Chicks

"The Crucifixion" - from Jesus Christ Superstar

"Ironic" - Alanis Morriessette ("I don't think that word means what you think it means.")

"Nervous, Man, Nervous" - Big Jay McNeely

"Nick of Time" - Bonnie Raitt (waterworks)

"We Shall Overcome" - Bruce Springsteen

"King For a Day" - Thompson Twins

"Four Green Fields" - Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem

"You've Got Another Thing Comin'" - Judas Priest

"I Only Want to Be With You" - Dusty Springfield

"Runaway" - Del Shannon (I'm not sure, haven't checked my notes lately, but this may be my favorite song ever written. Certainly in my fluctuating Top 5)

"It's Only Make Believe" - Conway Twitty

"Girls On Film" - Duran Duran

"If I Had a Vineyard" - Sinéad O'Connor

"I Stay Away" - Alice in Chains

"Am I Blue?" - Billie Holliday

"I Got Mine" - The Black Keys

"JD Dies" - from The Public Enemies soundtrack

"Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man" - Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn (doesn't get any better than this)

"Cherries" - Brendan Benson

"Pavement Artist" - Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins

"Rock 'n Roll Is Here to Stay" - Sha Na Na (yeah? So?)

"Mama, He's Craz"y" - The Judds

"Christians Inferno" - Green Day

"Something In the Way She Moves" - Jim Sturgess

"Our Lips are Sealed" - Everclear

"Louie Louie" - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

"Don't Set Me Free" - Ray Charles

"Cell Block Tango" - Catherine Zeta Jones

"Zombie" - The Cranberries

"Star Spangled Banner - Live at Woodstock" - Jimi Hendrix

"Pinball Wizard" - The Who

"Everything" - Michael Bublé (sue me. I know the guy is a tool. waterworks nonetheless. This song came to symbolize something over the spring - oh well.)

"Foreclosure of a Dream" - Megadeth

"My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson

"Ode to Billie Joe" - The 5th Dimension (I was HAUNTED by this song as a child. "What did they throw off the bridge??" I begged my mother, at age 8. "What did they throw off the bridge????" I was DESPERATE to know - but I knew I didn't REALLY want to know.)

"Beautiful" - Christina Aguilera (waterworks.)

"1000 Umbrellas" - XTC

"Seether" - Veruca Salt (my inner grunge goddess never completely died.)

"Run, Freedom, Run" - from Urinetown

"Anna Mae" - Brownie McGhee

"Walking the Blues" - Jack Dupree and Mr. Bear

"And the World Has the Nerve to Keep On Turning" - Tracy Bonham

"Chariot" - Gavin McGraw

"Cream" - Prince

"Modern World" - The Pogues

"A Little Girl from Little Rock" - Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell

"See the Light" - Green Day (I still cannot get over this album.)

"Simple Together" - Alanis Morissette

"Fields of Gold" - Eva Cassidy

Hope it gives you hell.

(Sometimes being magnanimous is not only too much to ask, but it would be untruthful. I love this silly song because it's honest about that.)

Gives You Hell

The nerve

And the World Has the Nerve to Keep Turning -- by Tracy Bonham

Oh greedy one oh greedy two
Did you do what you could do
For crippled one or crippled two?
A can of beans a sugar tooth?
You dig a hole under your greed
You follow down until you bleed
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels

Oh busy one oh busy two
None for them and all for you
The can of dreams you sold your soul
Someone went and poked a hole
Now there are days when you feel bad
You almost feel the heart you had

The kid inside your head
Keeps asking why the
World has the nerve to keep turning
And how the sun's got the balls to keep burning?

Oh fickle one oh fickle two
It's back to work what can you do?
Someone else will take the time
You've got yours and I've got mine
Your nagging heart won't settle down as you stop to look around

The kid inside your head
Keeps asking why the
World has the nerve to keep turning?
And how the sun's got the balls to keep burning?
And why the moon has the gall to keep staring?
And why your heart cannot stop caring stop caring stop caring?

The kid inside your head keeps asking why the
World has the nerve to keep turning?
And how the sun's got the balls to keep burning?
And why the moon has the gall to keep staring?
And why your heart cannot stop caring caring caring
Stop

Listen to the song here

Never thought you'd be alone this far down the line

But I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time.

The Eagles, "Wasted Time":

Do you ever think of me? You're so considerate.

That pretty much sums it up.

Foo Fighters: "Let It Die".

why should I rush to prove that I can break my heart all over?

Duets written for two women are rare. This isn't really a duet - it's one song, followed by another song, and then briefly they merge together. This is the best I could find on Youtube. It's rather a raw video, but I like the performances of the two women very much. They're both very relaxed and open.

It's from a killer duet from the "yuppie" Maltby/Shire musical Closer Than Ever: "It's Never That Easy / I've Been Here Before".

I also love the song because of the support and the love the women show one another, in the lyrics - they are talking TO each other, sharing experiences, and saying, "I know ... I know ..." That is what good friends do. It is nice to see women being kind to one another. Because that is MY experience of my female friends, not a catty one in the bunch. One of them calls the other "darling" during her singing, and by the end, they are talking TO each other. One takes the words from the other song and sings, "You're fine alone ..." which is a terrible thought, but comforting as well.

You ARE fine alone.

You are more than fine. You are alone, and you are enough. You, you, darling, ARE ENOUGH.

It's when they switch - at the very end ... when they switch songs ... the one with the new love starts to sing "it's never that easy", and the more wise one, who's been through it all, starts to sing "I've been here before" - that I lose it. Like clockwork.

Because that is how it is.

Nobody escapes this life without going through that transformation. It's never not wrenching, and it never feels fair or right, but it just IS. The worst part of it is when you feel "I've been here before". It is the familiarity that is the killer.

I first got into Closer Than Ever when I was in college. I thought I understood so much of it. Ha. My affection for the musical has waxed and waned since then, and only a couple of songs from it really have stood the test of time (for me). This is certainly one of them.

Again, raw footage. Beautiful song.

This song has been on my mind lately.

It's never that easy. I've been here before.

Metallica: "Enter Sandman" (with San Francisco Symphony)

It's just one of those concerts I wish I saw: Metallica joining up with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. I try to imagine all those metal-heads filing into the symphony hall and I feel despair that I wasn't there. Great double-album from that concert, with an enormous symphonic sound - the Metallica songs are truly arranged here. The strings and horns and all of that are not just hovering in the background - the songs have been re-thought and re-imagined so that the symphony is not just support-staff, but enormous and integral parts of what Metallica is doing. It's thrilling.

Here is "Enter Sandman" from that concert, and it's really the strings-section that stands out for me, although there's a hell of a lot going on in that arrangement. And yet, our fearless boys are never lost in the shuffle. It's a perfect balance.

And it's what starts to happen at around the 4:40 mark - to around the 5:10 mark - that is truly goosebump-material, because there is nothing that sounds like that on the original, and it's not hugely complex, it's basically just a shivering of strings, repeating, with pauses in between, the tension building, etc. - but it takes a re-imagining of the song, introducing the possibility of giant orchestration - that can make something like that happen.

Love it. Love the call and response thing, too. How thrilling it must have been for those symphony musicians to suddenly be playing for that kind of crowd. The liner notes for the double-album are fantastic, and the conductor (responsible for the entire event - it was his brainchild) - mentions that the string section had to actually change their shirts at the break, they were as drenched in sweat as if they had run a marathon. They were all kind of blown away by that, like: Uhm, wow, I must go change my shirt. This is certainly a different kind of symphonic evening.

"Enter Sandman" below.

"I don't want to ... die a virgin ...."

I love The Divine Comedy - love his voice, love his lyrics - and my latest favorite is his song "To Die a Virgin".

Here he is performing it live.

One more test just how much can I take?

This is a performance I remember and I'm so happy it's on Youtube (video below the jump): Foo Fighters performing "The One" (one of my favorites of theirs) - on the big stage during the Salt Lake City winter Olympics. They're so cold and so into it they're almost out of breath. It's not about the perfection of the vocals or the sound - neither are perfect in this venue. It's about the energy, and the feel of the show itself. The crowd is out of hand. I love the shot of the people dancing around wrapped in American flags. I love it when Dave Grohl screams.

Everyone makes one mistake
One more time for old times sake
One more time before the feeling fades

One that's born of memories
One more bruise you gave to me
One more test just how much can I take?

You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this,
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like shit,

Something never meant to be
Everything you meant to me
Wake me when this punishment is done

Those who try and get away
From the one who gets away
Someone's always someone else's one

You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this,
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like shit,
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this,
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can makes me feel like shit,

Until the end of time,
In another life,
Until the day I die,
Just save it up for one more try,
Save it for the last goodbye,
We go on again off again on again off,

You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this
You're not the one
but you're the only one who can make me feel like shit
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this
You're not the one
but you're the only one who can make me feel like shit
You're not the one,
but you're the only one who can make me feel like this
You're not the one
but you're the only one who makes me feel like...oh, shit!

"Alibi Bye", Siobhan O'Malley

Alibi Bye is the second album from Siobhan O'Malley (my beautiful younger sister). Permanent Markers was her first (self-produced) album - and a marvel it was, honest, emotional, and this new one, a couple years in the making, has a bigger sound - with intricate orchestration, and high production values - involving studio musicians, multiple tracks, banjos, accordions, and I am not even sure what else..

One of the things I love about the sound of this album in particular is how diverse it is. Each song is its own complete world, you don't feel a sense of same-ness, like you're just hearing the same song tricked up over and over again. And it all feels completely right, when heard together. It works as a whole.

Here are some of my thoughts on the songs on this album:

"Give me the Creeps" is so infectious that I dare you to listen to it only once. There is such a happiness to the music itself, but the lyrics belie the joy. This is one of Siobhan's gifts. She doesn't make the mistake that so many artists do - what I call "blue on blue". Meaning: on the nose. Like a film where there's a shot of rain falling on a window and the song playing at that moment is about rain falling on a window. So that's why I listen to a song like "Give Me the Creeps", and find my foot tapping - and yet my heart is aching. That's a good songwriter.

Video below the jump. I can't even describe how much I love it. An increasingly insane and neurotic Siobhan, an abashed and bumbling Nate, hovering creepy waitresses, and a zombie dance in Riverside Park.

"Science Can't Be Coy". Ouch. Again, one of Siobhan's real strengths is in her lyrics, which are biting, intelligent, and heartfelt. I mean, the song starts with this line: " 'She's like the Doppler effect,' he said", mkay? And in Siobhan's lyric-universe, this is not a random "quirky" detail. This is a thematic element, this is how she will structure her song. Characters emerge through the course of the song, funny details, glimpses ... but again and again, that first line keeps resonating, reappearing, on different frequencies maybe ... but that's the context of the whole song.

"I Might Deal Drugs In Order to Afford to Live in This City". Here she goes all funky, and urban - a funny (and yet sincere) song about the ridiculous amount of money it costs to just live in New York City, and how insane it can make, well, everyone.

"Heartland, Heartburn". This song seems to be for anyone who has ever yearned to "get away", move on, get a change of scenery. Not just because you want to switch it up, but because you start to wonder: what else is out there for me? Is this all there is? This is a very common thing with New Yorkers, obviously, bound as we are by pavement, etc. But one of the things I love about this song from Siobhan is that she does not lose herself in romantic notions about what it would be like to live "out there". Or maybe she does, but then she has to make fun of herself in the next moment and dream of a place "where she can shuck fuckin' corn for nourishment". That line always makes me laugh out loud. Yes, she wants to escape. But she also makes fun of herself in the middle of it. (Side note: she uses the word "dyspeptic" in the song. I find this thrilling.)

"It's Not Yesterday". I cannot write anything rational about this song. I have tears in my eyes as I type this out.

"Brilliant Petty Crime". Siobhan's voice on this melancholy song is hauntingly beautiful. There's almost a whisper at the back of it. It's soulful. But then I love how the bridge of "Brilliant Petty Crime" goes to a completely different place, where she sings over and over again, "I ain't gonna lie - I'm more than willing to lie lie lie lie lie." Great line, man. I ain't gonna lie, I'm more than willing to lie.

"A Future Me". Siobhan sings here of her childhood love for Jean, her older sister, her partner in crime as a youngster. It's really a love song. "And I got me an angel / She's me from an angle." Killer. This song is killer. (Great vocals here, too. Really rich and happy and sweet.)

"The Reminder". This is one of my favorites on the album (and I love it when she plays it live too.) Something about the "reminder" aspect of the song cuts deep to my core - and how I try to live my life. How I feel the need to hang onto things, save them up for a cold tomorrow, because everything is ephemeral and nothing lasts.

A rubber band's a reminder wrapped around my wrist
Keep on snapping it to make sure I don't miss
The things I know I'll cherish at a later date

"Squinting Optometrist". To quote my brother in his review: "I mean, just look at the title. Do I even need to say anything else?" What's so wonderful about Siobhan's images (like a squinting optometrist, and an eye-chart) is that she digs deep into what those images could actually mean, or say - what message we can impart from them. So here we are with a "squinting optometrist" in our head, and we can't help but follow that path, with Siobhan leading the way: What does it mean to see? What does it mean to have things "in the way"? Can we ever really see each other? And she manages to do all of this without being top-heavy or self-conscious. What happens is: her intelligence and intellect lead her time and again to a deeply emotional place. So satisfying as a listener.

"Fundy Bay Forecast". One of her best songs, I think. It's heart-crushing.

"In With the Old". ROCKIN'!!!! Pissed off, but funny, too - with its Dr. Seuss theme of that damn cat coming back and back. Rockin' song. Seriously. It's been one of her songs I've had on eternal repeat.

"There, There". This is one of Siobhan's best tunes in terms of the melody, the arrangement, the chord progression ... It's perfect. It's one of those songs that gets under your skin, just by what it sounds like. I am not sure if I can express this well. The lyrics add to the journey, of course, the lyrics tell the tale. But the music already catapults you, immediately, into an emotional place. This is the best example of hers that I can think of. From the opening chords, I'm THERE. Before I've even heard one word. Love this song.

"Avenue C'd". Siobhan's voice is gentle and sweet here, and giving. It's a song about one of those relationships where you pour your heart out for someone who is too lost, too far gone, to really accept your gifts, to really understand how blessed he really is. But you can't help but keep giving, because you love him. Sometimes that happens. The fact that this song takes place in a certain block of Manhattan (on Avenue C, trying to get to Avenue B, wishing to God you were 4th Avenue) just anchors it in such a gritty reality that runs counter to Siobhan's sweet wistful voice. I live here. I know the neighborhood she's describing. I know what it's like there at 3 a.m. There is no way to escape it, if you are in a certain mindset, or life stage ... and Siobhan sings about that with love, forgiveness, and deep sadness. The ultimate gift we can give to someone else. It's a kickass song. Heartbreaking.

Alibi Bye is available for purchase on iTunes.

You can also buy it here.

My brother's beautiful review (that made me cry) can be found here.

More rage

Because there's never enough rage.

That shit is a bottomless pool.

Time for a little rage.

"East Jesus Nowhere" is currently my favorite track on Green Day's latest - but this live version is blowing me away.

They're playing the song just a tiny bit faster than they do on the album, which makes it sound even more furious. Thrilling. Absolutely thrilling. And the connection with the crowd just heightens what is already a high-powered intense song.

The second I heard the song for the first time, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and it just gets better with each listen.

Seeing it live is a whole other experience. I'm blown away by this performance.

Softness and openness is all well and good. But I need my rage, too. Sometimes it's the only thing I've got, and I thank God for it.

Take it away, boys.

Slowly, slowly through the fields ...

One of my favorite songs of all time. It suits every mood. It reminds me of what matters in low moments. It reflects my ecstasy in high moments. It tells me to hang on. It validates the intensity of my joy. It allows me to go there. Whatever I need. It's never the same song. It's been there for me ... for years. It's here for me right now.

Snapshots

-- I have never made so many lists in my life. I cannot live without my lists. I keep everything on the same To-Do List, so that "buy nail polish" lives side by side with "Get a life".

-- Lucy is growing so fast and I feel like I'm missing out! At least I get pictures on almost a daily basis.

-- I'm not renewing my lease. Let the adventures begin. The great unknown. Leap of faith.

-- Green Day's new album is a bit of a revelation. I was almost tentative, going in, because I loved "American Idiot" so much. I was afraid "21st Century Breakdown" would fall short. Well, no. It hasn't. Funny thing is - and this is mainly because of my iPod and how I listen to music now - it was a while before I listened to the whole album, start to finish. I clued in on one or two songs ("East Jesus Nowhere" and "Horseshoes and Hand grenades" primarily) - but then a couple of days ago I listened to the whole thing, start to finish, and my God, they have done it again. A perfect modulation of rage and nostalgia and sweetness and cynicism - each song leading into the next - nothing standing out as "not fitting". I'm going through phases. I mean, I just bought the album last week, so it's early yet - but first I clicked in to "East Jesus Nowhere". Couldn't stop listening to it. Then it was "Vive la Gloria" - couldn't stop listening to that one. I had a couple of hours where "Last of the American Girls" became THE song for me ... and now I am deeply embedded in "21 Guns", and listen to it on eternal repeat and it shows no sign of stopping any time soon. LOVE the album. I'm thrilled.

-- Too much to do in too little time. Hence: the lists. Oh well, whether or not I get it all done, the rest of this week WILL happen. Time WILL move forward and I will move along with it. Hard to see that, though, as I scurry around "buying nail polish" and "getting a life".

-- ME: "So what should we do? Saturday night? Friday? What's your schedule? Are you free? Should we nail down a time? Am I able to chill out? Seriously not sure. Talk to me. Pick a place, pick a time. Where should we go?"

HE: "Everything's going to be fine."

"or were you just being kind?"

Those are the saddest lines Stephen Sondheim wrote. Amazing live rendition of it below the clip (just the recording, sadly) - Tim Curry performing it. I've heard a ton of versions of this song, it's one of my favorites in the entire Sondheim catalog - I find it devastating - but boy do I love Tim Curry's rendition. Wow.

"Losing My Mind" - from Follies

The sun comes up
I think about you
The coffee cup
I think about you
I want you so
It's like I'm losing my mind

The morning ends
I think about you
I talk to friends
I think about you
And do they know
It's like I'm losing my mind

All afternoon doing every little chore
The thought of you stays bright
Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor
Not going left
Not going right

I dim the lights
And think about you
Spend sleepless nights
To think about you
You said you loved me
Or were you just being kind?
Or am I losing my mind?

All afternoon doing every little chore
The thought of you stays bright
Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor
Not going left
Not going right

I dim the lights
And think about you
Spend sleepless nights
To think about you
You said you loved me
Or were you just being kind?
Or am I losing my mind?

Sunday morning iPod shuffle

I am busy:

1. actually being okay with being a bit of a headcase ... it's so relaxing ... God ... because why? because I am also
2. feeling taken care of ... someone is taking care ... wow.
3. cooking
4. making lists
5. listening to ye olde Shuffle
6. working on something that is my own version of Thomas Jefferson's famous "head vs. heart" letter to Maria Cosway (speaking of being a head case) ... having a hard time getting in there (with myself I mean), but I'm working on it.

"Sk8r Boi" - Avril Lavigne

"Johnson's Motorcar" - The Clancy Brothers (at Carnegie Hall)

"Dreamboat Annie" - Heart

"My Love Is True" - Hellogoodbye

"Beautiful Child" - Rufus Wainwright

"Canary" - Liz Phair

"Something Beautiful" - Sinead O'Connor

"Friel's Kitchen" - The Chieftains

"Elevation" - U2 (sexy)

(but enough with the Irish. Oh well. That's what my iPod shuffle always does. It can't help itself.)

"Finale" - Les Miserables

"Drink With Me" - "Grantaire", Les Miserables (you have got to be kidding me)

"Where Do the Children Play" - Dolly Parton with Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) - looooove it. Love the whole album.

"Two Ladies" - Emcee (Alan Cumming) Cabaret - you know you really have to be in the mood to hear this.

"It's My Life" - Bon Jovi (now that's more like it.)

"Mr. Pinstripe Suit" - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

"Finale" - 1776 - I mean, seriously, it's just the clock bonging, and a list of names and states - but I get goosebumps every time I hear it. Eeeeekkkk!!!

"In My Other Life" - Tracy Bonham

"Only Our Rivers Run Free" - The Irish Tenors. Shut up.

"Thank God It's Christmas" - Queen

"Welcome To the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance. Tone it down a notch, boys. Everything is going to be okay. Relax.

"Gonna See Her Again Today" - Pat McCurdy - rock on with that electric guitar, McCurdy!

"Nothing else Matters" - Metallica

"Drum Boogie" - Gene Krupa and his Orchestra

"Rocky Raccoon" - The Beatles

"Southern Song" - Pat McCurdy

"Real Man" - Bonnie Raitt (speak it, sister)

"Pump It Up" - Elvis Costello & The Attractions

"Walking After You" - Foo Fighters

"For Good" - Idina Menzel & Kristin Chenoweth, Wicked

"The Bard of Armagh" - Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem (see what I mean?)

"Crater Lake" - Liz Phair

"I Sing the Body Electric" - the cast of Fame - YEAH! Go Leroy with your cornrows and your illiteracy!!

"Day and Night" - Nina Simone

"Modern Day Miracle" - Pat McCurdy

"Crying For You" - Pat McCurdy. Stop bothering me, McCurdy. Man I love this song though.

"Where the Streets Have No Name" - U2 (goosebumps)

"Sign 'O the Times" - Prince

"She's Got A Way" - Billy Joel (I'm sure she does, Billy)

"Arrival in Benares" - Ustad Vilayat Khun

"Don'a Wan'a" - Wanda Jackson

"Free Fallin'" - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. (I can never hear this song enough.)

"Wizards in Winter" - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

"White America" - Eminem (holy shit. That's how you lead off your album? Freakin' brilliant.)

"Porte En Arraire" - Emmylou Harris, Kate & Anna McGarrigle

"Nhimutimu" - Kumusha

"Heartburn" - Rufus Wainwright

"Thumbelina" - Tracy Bonham

"Rock & Roll" - Eric Hutchinson

"Miracle" - Foo Fighters

"It's Sweet" - Liz Phair

"Sinful Heart" - Wanda Jackson

"Future Sex / Love Sound" - Justin Timberlake. Hitachi break!

"Around the World" - Christine Ebersole, Grey Gardens - heartwrenching

"On Horseback" - Eileen Ivers.

(sigh. Overkill Irish. That's what I get for having the music collection I do!)

"Don't Miss That Train" - Wynona Carr (looooove her - so so glad I made the discovery. Check her OUT if you're not familiar!)

"Lose Yourself" - Eminem (definitely a high water mark in music in the last decade or so ... maybe more. This is one of "those" songs.)

"One" - Metallica

"We Two Are One" - Eurhythmics

"And then I might ...."

It may be dumb to post these really simple lyrics, but along with the music - they just make me happy happy. I've always loved this song. And I love it even more now. Perfect Saturday night music. A couple clips below. One dumb montage, with the original song playing over it ... and another of Evan Rachel Wood singing it (wonderfully) during the opening of Across the Universe. Love love it.

Hold Me Tight

It feels so right now, now hold me tight,
Tell me I'm the only one,
And then I might,
Never be the lonely one.
So hold me tight to-night, to-night [to-night],
It's you,
You you you

Hold me tight,
Let me go on loving you,
To-night to-night,
Making love to only you,
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night
It's you,
You you you

Don't know what it means to hold you tight,
Being here alone tonight with you,

It feels so right now.
Hold me tight,
Tell me I'm the only one,
And then I might,
Never be the lonely one,
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night
It's you,
You you you

Don't know what it means to hold you tight,
Being here alone tonight with you,
It feels so right now.
Hold me tight,
Let me go on loving you,
To-night, to-night,
Making love to only you,
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night
It's you,
You you you

And honestly I might be stupid to think love is love ... but I do

Mr. Harris - by Aimee Mann

Listen here. Have Kleenex ready.

So he's retired
lives with his sister in a furnished flat
he's got this suit that
he'll never wear outside without a hat
his hair is white but he looks half his age
he looks like Jimmy Stewart in his younger days.

and honestly, I might be
stupid to think love is love but I do
and you've waited so long and
I've waited long enough for you.

My mother's calling
from where she's living up in Troy, Vermont
she tries to tell me
a father figure must be what I want
I've always thought age made no difference
am I the only one to whom that's making sense?

And honestly, I might be
stupid to think love is love but I do
and you've waited so long and
I've waited long enough for you.

The day I met him he was raking leaves
in his tiny yard.

Of course I know that
we've only got ten years, or twenty, left
but to be honest
I'm happy with whatever time we get
depending on whichever book you read
sometimes it takes a lifetime to get what you need.

And honestly, I might be
stupid to think love is love but I do
and you've waited so long and
I've waited long enough for you.

honestly, I might be
stupid to think love is love but I do
and you've waited so long and
I've waited long enough for you

There's a story behind this song. There's always a story.

I first heard it in 2000. I love Aimee Mann but I was unfamiliar with this particular song. I went with my friend Jen to Don't Tell Mama's, a cabaret joint in New York, where a friend of Jen's was performing. It was a week or so before this. That was coming, but it hadn't arrived yet, and I was still in a state of suspended animation. Looking back, it is obvious now that the storm was coming, it was about to break, but when Jen and I went to Don't Tell Mama's, it was still just gathering. I was still holding out hope.

Jen's friend had about an hour-long set. A lovely clear voice. We sat at a little table in the club, and had a wonderful time. It was an emotional night, I remember. Jen and I were roommates (she makes an appearance in the final moments of that link above), and we were both having an intense time of it. Jen is a singer, too, and she sat there beside me having all kinds of feelings about her own career, her own voice ... she was so proud of her friend, but she couldn't help but reflect on what she wanted, for her own life.

As for me, I was just enjoying the music, yo. I wasn't sitting there, thinking of a gathering storm, or my hopes, or anything like that.

Until Jen's friend sang "Mr. Harris". A song I had never heard.

She said, "You know, I've always just loved this song, and wanted to sing it. Aimee Mann's 'Mr. Harris.'"

And from the first strains on the piano, I was GONE.

When she started singing, the club itself felt like it contracted. I suddenly was aware of the walls pressing in on me, and my own personal response to the song becoming far too large for that venue. The strain of holding back was so much that I actually felt a white-hot burning go all through me. The way I feel in kick-boxing class at about the 40-minute mark. Things actually burn. I couldn't breathe. I was afraid to. If I took a deep breath, huge stormy sobs would come out, and I wouldn't have anywhere to go. The moment was not supposed to be about ME ... but i couldn't help it. The song sliced through the artifice, ripped me open to myself, and the pain that I had been hovering over, fearfully, not going into it yet, was revealed to me. I flew in nervous circles above myself - looking down on the wreckage - that I couldn't even feel yet. It was like I had been horribly injured, and had flown up out of my body. A bird killed in the street - and its mate flutters over the dead body, flapping its wings in a panic, swooping in, back up, in, back up ... like: No, no, no, this cannot be .... I don't know if I was aware of anything like, "This is what is ahead of you ... this is the sadness you are now ignoring, that is going to come to the forefront in a week or so ..." That's not really how it was. It was more primal than that. The brain was not involved, except in the most detached way, disengaging from the white-hot burning, and looking down on it, observing. For the most part, I just listened to that song - and was filled with a hot searing liquid - and I couldn't breathe - and the club was suddenly too small for my experience. I thought the song would never end.

"Mr. Harris"'s tune was part of what sliced me open. It's slow, it lulls you into a feeling of safety, it says, "It's okay ... it's okay to have yearnings, to be sad, to have hope ..."

But the lyrics. My God, the lyrics. At that time, in love as I was with an older man, I thought I was going to die. I couldn't catch a full breath.

The sadness was so acute that calling it sadness isn't really accurate. Maybe "grief" is more like it. Or loss. I felt like I was looking at an alternate life, the life where it did work out with this man ... and that was the life I wanted to be in. Not the one I was actually in. And how could I ever ever come to peace with that?

I loved him so much.

Finally - finally - the song ended. Tears had been boiling down my face, rolling off and into my lap - but there was a strange stasis inside of me because I couldn't openly sob (or, I felt I couldn't). I was drowning. Taking teeny tentative breaths, drenched in tears. "Mr. Harris" was over, and she moved on with her set - and I recovered immediately. There was no hangover. It had been a spell. While the song was going on, I suddenly became my own bird-mate, flapping its wings frantically over the dead body of myself in the street ... looking at the guts and crushed bones and thinking, panicked, "No, no, no, no, it can't be as bad as all that, can it???" No ... my sadness isn't going to be THAT bad, will it? How will I bear it? Oh God, oh God, help me bear it .... And then the song finished, and abracadabra, I was back to myself, back to normal.

Jen and I walked to Port Authority after the show, to take the bus back to our apartment. We stood in line, talking about the night. She told me her experiences sitting there, her feelings about singing, how much she wanted to do it, and do it more (she has a beautiful voice), and how it had been a very intense night for her. I told her about what happened to me during "Mr. Harris". How I was suddenly on fire from within, and thought I might LOSE it in that very small club. We got home, and Jen actually had the Aimee Mann CD on which "Mr. Harris" appears. She gave it to me. I made a copy immediately.

I listened to it constantly that next week. I didn't have the same experience to it that I had had that first time at Don't Tell Mama's. I no longer felt myself full of molten lava with boiling tears coursing down my face. It still wove a spell, but it was more of a gentle melancholy spell. I suppose I was, somewhere, gearing up. For my trip to Chicago and all that that would entail. I'm no dummy. I knew somewhere what the outcome would be (although I could have had no clue that the trip would end in such a crazy way - see that link above) ... and maybe I knew I needed my strength for it. I needed to go into it calm, and open ... not grasping and already-sad ... and so "Mr. Harris", with its brief burning realization of the damage that had been done ... followed by the gentle melancholy of the subsequent listenings ... prepared the ground for me.

It helped me take that deep deep breath before the plunge ... the one I had been afraid to take while sitting in Don't Tell Mama's.

For years afterwards, when I listened to the song, I thought of that night, yes, at Don't Tell Mama's. I also thought of that trip to Chicago the next week, and the complete chaos of my trip home, and the "total dark sublime". I didn't have to call the images up, or concentrate ... It was a time-traveler. It took me back. Immediately. Some songs are like that.

I have found myself turning to "Mr. Harris" recently.

And it's funny. Or not so funny. But it is seeming like a different song to me now. I am hearing it in a different way.

Of course I know that
we've only got ten years, or twenty, left
but to be honest
I'm happy with whatever time we get
depending on which book you read
sometimes it takes a lifetime to get what you need.

Those lyrics sounded very very different to me when I first heard the song.

Listen to "Mr. Harris" here.

You think that I'm strong. You're wrong. You're wrong.

Robbie Williams. "Strong". (Video below)

The first time I heard this song I was hooked. Forever.

It always makes me think of that homeless guy I dated that one time. I was listening to Robbie all the time then. That season passed, and while I still think Robbie Williams is a total kick, I didn't have to listen to him all the time the way I did then.

But "Strong" has kind of risen again in my consciousness ... it's like a need. I've felt it. "Hm. Let's listen to 'Strong', shall we?" It feeds something, it represents something ... not so much the lyrics (although yes, the lyrics too) - but the music.

The ground breaking up ... things emerging again ... hopes? No, not hope again, please not that!!! But yes, yes ... there it is again. Hope. Possibility. Dreams.

To me the song says "hope". And I love that line. "You think that I'm strong. You're wrong. You're wrong."

I relate to that.

But maybe that's okay, too.

Same girl but completely different

"In My Other Life" - by Tracy Bonham (listen to song here)

In my other life I'm ambidextrous
In my other life I'm tall
You can ask me 'bout technology
And I will know it all

In my other life I am much funnier
The days are sunnier and sweet
In this parallel universe
You're in love with me

In my other life I am an astronaut
Connecting dot to dot above
Drawing lines between every sky machine
To celebrate our love

And my other car is a Jaguar
And I'll pick you up at ten
Drive to City Hall
Then we'll do it all
In a bed at the Sheraton

Same girl but completely different
Same girl but completely different
'Cause you love me
Yeah, you love me
Yeah, you love me
Oh, you love me
Why is it so hard to love me?
Why is it so hard to love me?

And in the real world it's just plain obvious
You're oblivious to me
But what you don't know is how far you go
In my fantasy

You're like a running bull
You're unstoppable
Let the ground beneath you shake
And I'm unafraid
I am so unafraid
Of the mess we're about to make

Same girl but completely different
Same girl but completely different
'Cause you love me

"what a beautiful song. everybody who listens to it gets so happy"

So says a commenter on the Youtube clip below of the dreamy Joe Dassin singing his classic song "Les Champs Elysees", a song that I have listened to probably once a day since I first discovered it (it played over the ending credits of The Darjeeling Limited). I know it's a famous and beloved song but I had never heard it before.

It's rare that something hits me at such a primal level as that song did. Sitting in the movie theatre, watching the credits roll, hearing that song for the first time, my heart reached up out of my chest, trying to meet the music halfway, yearning towards it, grasping ... I wanted the feeling that was contained in that music. I wanted to capture it, live in it, own it. I knew immediately I needed to hear it again. And again. And again. I couldn't get home fast enough to download it off of iTunes.

And since then it has been on almost eternal repeat.

What is it in this song? I think the Youtube commenter kind of nails it. But when you listen to it in the middle of a maelstrom of sadness, as I have been over the last year or so, it is not too insistently happy. It does not make a demand of you that you 'cheer up', which is insulting when you are grieving and dark. It speaks to wherever you are at. It incorporates sadness, somehow that bittersweet or nostalgic feeling of joy that is now past, is in the melody. It doesn't insist that you forget or move on. You can just BE when you listen to it.

And whenever I listen to it - whenever - without fail - it brings me to another place. Stops me in my tracks, and then propels me forward.

I treasure the song.

Found two awesome clips of Joe Dassin performing this song. I love the first one - which is more obviously live than the second one- just him and his guitar and his beautiful open face.

So glad this song came into my life.

It has really really meant a lot to me over the harrowing last year.

It has reminded me, at times, that joy still does exist. You cannot get to it now, and that is okay. But we'll still be here when you're ready to join us again. Take your time, take your time.

Dovetail

Someone helped me yesterday. He barged into my issues, my insecurities, my waffling, spoke the truth, in no uncertain terms, and cleared a bunch of stuff away so that I could see the path. I obviously needed it, because I can get bolluxed up, all by myself in my own head. And he said it in a way that didn't belittle me, but made me go: "Oh. It's all very obvious. Here is what I need to do. Of course. Of course this is what I need to do. I am terrified, but I will do it anyway." The best part of it was that I knew it all along. Just needed the push. I feel I must mention that other friends have pushed me, too, in this respect. Friends and family members. Pretty much everyone. "Sheila, don't be an idiot. Do it." I can be stubborn in my neuroses. It's where I am comfortable. I cling to them. Not a pretty admission, but the truth. This is what happens when you are alone too much, and you do your best to, you know, stay honest and in the game ... but certain things start to seem inarguable. You start to believe that "this is the way things are." But they aren't. It's just what you've become used to.

And that is what he said to me yesterday, akin to a slap across the face. It was not gentle. It did not concede ground. It did not give credence to my weaknesses, my insecurities. It acknowledged them, but it gave them no importance or room to breathe. No. No. This is what you do. Do it now.

Suddenly, exhilaration, fear, panic, all of those great things ... making me literally go weak in the knees.

Took a fevered walk along the Hudson (gorgeous day yesterday), iPod blaring in my ears, and the first song that came on in the blessed Shuffle was "Get Up", by Bleu.

A moment of dovetailing. The universe. Flowing in. The words seeming to come from somewhere else, not just Bleu - but from "it", the grand scheme out there, and also, perhaps, from myself. And from him.

"Get Up" - by Bleu

Where were you the other night?
We coulda used you in the fight
Oh, and everybody said to say "Hi".
We all were wonderin' when you were gonna stop by.
Oh, I know ya had a little bad luck
But didn't anybody tell you everyone does?

Get up
You're just in a slump
Get up
You're stuck in a rut
Get up
Before you lose touch
Get up

Don'tcha think you've had enough?
You gotta stop beatin' yourself up
Oh, I know how much you like to play rough
But if ya don't allow the scabs to heal, they scar up
Don't you know I've heard it all before?
So don'tcha leave your sad excuses outside my door

Get up
You're just in a slump
Get up
You're stuck in a rut
Get up
Before you lose touch
Get up

Can't you see no matter what I do
I just can't seem to get my shit together without you

Get up
You're just in a slump
Get up
You're stuck in a rut
Get up
Before you lose touch
Get up

(You can listen to it here). It is best played really loud, and it is best played as you walk through a blazing spring day, the white caps on the Hudson to your right, with long-dormant plans and schemes and hopes surging through your whole damn body.

Dawn iPod shuffle.

I've had a weird night. Up since 4 a.m. So let's move on to the music that's been going on from ye olde iPod since I woke up. Look, my neighbors have loud sex two or three times a day. More power to them. I am so happy they get along so well. But it makes me not as worried about, you know, making a PEEP that might disturb them.

"Waterloo" - ABBA

"Secure Yourself to Heaven" - Indigo Girls

"You Know I'm No Good" - Amy Winehouse (yes, honey, I know, but I love you anyway)

"Gimme More" - Britney Spears (it begins with the immortal words, "It's Britney, bitch." One of the most psychotic songs I've ever heard. I adore it.)

"Political Science" - Randy Newman - I love that Jackie covered this song in her cabaret. Perfect!! "Boom goes London, Boom Par-ee ..."

"Life Is a Buffet" - Pat McCurdy ("Life is a buffet, eat like a pig," he instructs us. Or, said another way: Give names, check in.)

"A Horse Named Bill" - The Raunch Hands - my entire childhood, my whole family, is in this entire album. "Ill be a great sharpshooter!" "In the teeth or in the fingers?" I played this album for my first boyfriend when we first started dating. He didn't like it. Should have broken up with him right there.

"After You've Gone" - Rufus Wainwright at Carnegie Hall (with an overblown cameo by Lorna Luft. Chill with the vibrato, Lorna. Thanks.)

"Stranger" - Billy Joel. This album will always make me think of Dad.

"Candy Shop" - Madonna. Dear Madonna, this is a catchy song, but just remember: Malawi is NOT a candy shop. It is an actual country, inhabited by actual PEOPLE. Mkay, hon?

"Leather" - Tori Amos. I remember this song blowing me away when I first heard it in the early 90s. It seemed so subversive. I am older now. Still love the song, but what she's describing is well-trod ground to the older Sheila. Sure, leather, whatevs, Tori, you were saying ...?

"Empty Man" - Pat McCurdy. Last time I saw Pat, I informed him, during a conversation about iPods, "The weird thing about the iPod is that suddenly your music comes up in constant rotation." He said, "That's kind of annoying." "I know, right?"

"Shame" - Eurythmics. One of my favorites of their songs.

"Fireworks" - The Original Memphis Five

"Ants Marching" - Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds. This is from the vaguely self-indulgent double-album of a live concert the two gave - all acoustic - at Luther College. Some of it is just flat out not good - but some of the live versions - this song in particular, as well as "Crash" - I actually prefer them to the versions we hear on the radio. There's such life and joy in them. Great guitar too.

"I Don't Come From No Monkey" - Pat McCurdy. hahahaha See what I mean? Annoying!! Get off my iPod, McCurdy.

"All My Only Dreams" - The Wonders

"You Never Get What You Want" - Patti Griffin. What a freakin' voice.

"I Can't Believe I'm Not a Millionaire" - The Puppini Sisters. Genius. "I had a Pop-tart insteeeeead ..." Me too, girls. I hear ya.

"When Your Lover Has Gone" - Frank Sinatra. Take me there, Frank. It's 5 a.m. Thanks.

"Just Don't Give a Fuck" - Eminem. Pretty funny having this song follow the one before. That's the genius of iPod shuffle.

"Both Sides Now" - Dolly Parton. Absolutely brilliant version of this song. I'm sick of that song, in general - but she has revitalized it for me COMPLETELY.

"Does Anybody Out There Even Care" - Lenny Kravitz

"I Will Follow" - U2 (goosebumps)

"Rock & Roll" - Eric Hutchinson

"I Can't Get No Satisfaction" - Britney Spears. I know a lot of people were horrified that she would cover this song. Whatever. I think it's kind of brill.

"Hand In My Pocket" - Alanis Morrissette

"Cold Day In Hell" - Tracy Bonham

"Future Love Paradise" - Seal. This song always makes me think of Alec - a boyfriend of mine in college (you know - the nerd in my Halloween photos). We lost touch for a couple years, and then - the day after New Year's Eve one year, when I was back in Rhode Island, he tracked me down and invited me to come visit him in Boston, where he was living at the time. I have no idea why this time with him would stay in my mind so vividly after all these years - all we did was go out to eat, catch up, hang out at his apartment talking, and making out, and then, the next morning - we blasted this song by Seal, and danced around in his living room. Not talking. Just dancing. It was magical. Then I took a cab to Logan, and flew back to Los Angeles where I was living. And I've never been in touch with him since. Kind of amazing.

"Workin' For a Living" - Huey Lewis and the News.

"In A Little While" - Wynonna Carr

"Poor Man's House" - Patti Griffin. Goosebumps. One of my favorites off this album.

"Chirochacho" - Kumusha (they were the wonderful marimba band playing at Dean Stockwell's art show in Taos. Stevie bought us both copies of the CD. Here's a picture I took of Stockwell talking and laughing with one of the band members.)

"Just Leave Everything To Me" - Barbra Streisand. Love it. "If you want your liver tested, glasses made, cash inVESTED ...."

"Sorry" - Madonna. Great song. I love this whole album in general.

"The Chauffeur (Blue Silver)" - Duran Duran. What an absolutely RIDICULOUS song. Indefensible, really. I love every note.

"Hanging Tree" - Queens of the Stone Age

"Stumbling In the Dark" - Pat McCurdy. Again, Pat? Really? Get the hell off my iPod. "I think her name was Sheila - or maybe it was Sharon ..." Excuse me, but no, my name is clearly SHEILA.

"Stay Up Late" - Talking Heads. I love them. Love this song in particular.

"Goodbye Mr. Ed" - David Bowie

"Star-Spangled Banner" - Whitney Houston, Super Bowl. Definitive.

"Rock Lobster" - The B-52s. This will forever say "high school" to me, and remind me of the entire crowd of kids at a dance falling down to the floor at the end of the song before bursting back up again. We would go into a zone of MANIA when this song came on. And then, of course, Beth and I would run over to cool our sweaty red-tomato Irish faces against the tiled walls. In public. We did this in public. Amongst our peers.

"I Don't Need Anything But You" - Annie and Daddy Warbucks (Broadway recording)

"One Day I'll Fly Away" - Nicole Kidman

"Lucky" - Radiohead. I listened to this album one too many times, I think. Kind of like the time I put too much French dressing on my salad when I was, oh, 14, and I've never been able to stomach it since. I love Radiohead but I over-listened to this album. It's hard for me to hear it now.

"Thank You For the Music" - Amanda Seyfried (from Mamma Mia soundtrack)

"Sound Of My Own Voice" - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers. Heartcrack.

"LoveStoned / I Think She Knows" - Justin Timberlake. You're speakin' my language, JT. From my perspective, I think he knows, too.

"If You Love Me, Let Me Know" - Olivia Newton-John

"Buzz Buzz" - Brian Setzer. Blackberry? Hitachi? Uh, can you describe the buzz, sir?

"Ain't It the Life" - Foo Fighters

''My mind was blown. It wasn't punk rock. It wasn't heavy metal. It just stood by itself. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was a mighty thing.''

That's Flea, bassist for Red Hot Chili Peppers, on the first time he heard Metallica, who were just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in a show that honestly makes me want to kill myself because I wasn't there. Eminem was there too to introduce Run-DMC, another inductee. Eminem and Metallica in the same place at the same time? Are you kidding me? (Oh, and Wanda Jackson gets the props, too? FINALLY? Another favorite of mine? Heaven!)

And why am I strangely happy, as though it has something to do with me, that Jason Newsted joined Metallica onstage for "Master of Puppets" and "Enter Sandman"? Sheila, you do not know these people. It is not a personal victory for YOU.

And yet ... and yet ... it is. If you're a Metallica fan, you'll get it.

And how psyched is Robert Trujillo right now? (Especially after the sort of awkward touchy-feely beginning of his time with Metallica with Hetfield crying at the table about his abandonment issues as they all drank bottled water.)

And how bummed is Dave Mustaine.

I've been listening to Metallica for, what, 20 years? Almost non-stop? They're in every playlist I make, they're always in rotation.

They make me want to cry, and they make me want to punch someone in the face. It's all good.

My brother wrote a goosebump-y piece about what Metallica's so-called "black album" means to him. I consider it a must-read, and that's not just because I'm related to him.

I read that NY Times article 4 times in a row, trying to imagine myself into that auditorium. Also, Hetfield giving props to Thin Lizzy? Effing cool.

(I realize that being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is akin to winning an Oscar. It's not a testament of true value. Some of my favorite actors have never won an Oscar. Phone call for Mr. Bridges and Mr. Grant. But still: the description of the HOF show and the validation and the excitement was catching to me.)

Bobby Darin: "Michael Row That Boat Ashore"

Now I can't be sure, I'll have to check my copious notes on the subject, but this clip below might be one of the hottest things I've ever seen.

It is also one of my favorite clips in the history of the Judy Garland show.

He's just intense.

An acting teacher of mine once said, "Every scene is either 'Fuck' or 'Fight'. Make a choice." He's talking about objective there, not necessarily plot, or anything literal. The calmest quietest scene in the world could be a "fight" scene, and a scene with zero nudity, no kissing, could be a "fuck" scene. I loved that. "Fight or Fuck. Choose."

And I look at Darin performing there, and sometimes I feel the fight in him, sometimes the fuck - I fluctuate in what I perceive when I view the damn thing. Regardless, it's just hot to watch.

The fist by his side. How he claps. His clenched jaw. How he engages the huge chorus - but there's coiled anger there, too. He is sitting on a world of impulse. It's seriously an intense performance.

And wait until the last moment! Boy ain't done til he's done.

Rest in peace, Maurice Jarre

Academy-Award winning composer Maurice Jarre died this past weekend at the age of 82. NY Times obit here. A nice tribute here.

Known mainly for his collaboration with David Lean, and - oh yeah - some of the greatest scores of all time from that collaboration (Lawrence of Arabia, Dr. Zhivago, to name only a couple) - he worked for decades, being nominated for an Oscar nine times. He had fruitful collaborations with other directors, Peter Weir included (he scored Fearless, Witness, Year of Living Dangerously - and has said that Weir gave him the opportunity, with Witness, to do an entirely electronic score, something brand new for Jarre - and Jarre, always up for the challenge, tackled it with a relish. He was that kind of collaborator, and the eerie terrifying quality of the music in Witness adds so much to the feel of that film). You only need to hear just a couple bars of his most famous scores to have your head fill with images, and feelings, and associations - which is just extraordinary, because so much of music in movies is, well, forgettable. Jarre created true themes. And he was able to, at least with Lean's stuff, enhance what was already there, deepen it, make it work on an almost subconscious level. The epic film needs a composer like Jarre, who does not, through his music, just tell us what we already see. He makes it personal. And yet he also elevates. It's majestic, what he does. (Clip of Lawrence of Arabia below).

In 2007, I received a review copy of a DVD entitled Maurice Jarre: A Tribute to David Lean. The movie shows, in its entirety, a 1992 tribute concert given in honor of David Lean who had passed away a couple of months prior. The evening was made up of themes from four of Maurice Jarre's collaborations with David Lean (Lawrence of Arabia, Dr. Zhivago, Ryan's Daughter and Passage to India), and Jarre himself was conductor (the screenshot at the top of this post is from that concert). Jarre was visibly moved at some points during the concert, his friend and greatest collaborator had just passed, and the feeling of power and grief and appreciation in that concert hall is palpable. It's also great to hear that music live, with a full orchestra.

There is a terrific interview with Maurice Jarre included in the DVD, where he talks about his career and about his working relationship with Lean.

Here is my review of Maurice Jarre: A Tribute to David Lean.

My favorite anecdotes shared by Maurice Jarre are included in the review. (And I must reiterate what I said in my review: "You have to give me the missing monkeys with your music" is one of the best things said by a director to anyone, ever.)

Maurice Jarre will be sorely missed.

At least we still have those sweeping scores.

Pop in Lawrence of Arabia tonight, or Dr. Zhivago, or any one of the many, many, many MANY films he scored, in honor of a brilliant man, one of the greatest composers the industry has ever known. His music is in us - those notes, and the associations they bring.

Rest in peace.

Happy place.

Sometimes a song comes along at just the right moment, huh? This song came along yesterday.

"Beautiful Dream" - by Everclear

I had a dream I was living by the ocean
I had a dream I was living in the sun
I wake up sad because I'm living in darkness
I know I'm not alone
I know I'm not the only one

I had a dream that I had no depression
I had a dream I had a smile on my face
I wake up hungry so I feed my obsession
I know I gotta leave
I know I gotta run away

Far away
Where the faces all look happy and I know it's a dream
A beautiful dream
I want to lose myself in the sunshine where I can be free
Yeah I just wanna be free
Free in a beautiful dream
Yeah but it's a beautiful dream

I had a dream I was living by the ocean
I had a dream I was living for the day
I wake up sad in a perpetual emotion
I know I gotta leave here
I know I gotta run away

Far away
Where the faces all look happy and I know it's a dream
A beautiful dream
I want to lose myself in myself where I can be free
I just wanna be free
Free in a beautiful dream
Yeah a beautiful dream
Free inside a beautiful dream
Free in a beautiful dream

Tá m'árthach foluaineach lán d'eascainn, baby!

Really, what more can one say.

Actually, here was one of the other quotes from the night. At one point I turned to Jen and said, totally enthusiastically, with no self-hatred whatsoever, "GOD, I just LOVE it when I don't act like myself! It is so awesome!"

Joe Hurley's Irish Rock Revue last night was a fantastic show. It was a five-hour-long extravaganza. "Come on, Eileen" was played to roaring success, which gives you some idea of the feel of the event. Not to mention "Raglan Road" which brought me to tears.

I need to Google the cast of thousands who performed although I am familiar with some of them (especially the writers - Colum McCann!) but for now, some photos.

Thanks, Joe, for being a warm and wonderful MC. Great night. A perfect St. Patty's Day fest. Meaning no:

-- amateur messy drunks
-- green beer
-- flashing shamrock antennae
-- people who seem to feel that being "Irish" means "acting like a complete douchebag on Bleecker Street"

It wasn't a precious event or twee in any way, but it wasn't "cool" either, which was one of the best things about it. Try to remain "cool" when "Come on Eileen" is being played. I dare you. The place went nuts. There were Irish fiddlers (one girl in particular was really fantastic, with a shiny green ribbon in her hair, she made me cry), and people flew in from Ireland, from Chicago, from elsewhere - just to perform one song. Really moving. Also, I know I'm in the right place when raffle tickets are sold and the prizes are a year-long subscription to The Irish Echo and signed copies of McCann's latest novel. It's also clear I am in the right place when Joe Hurley, as MC, interspersed the entire evening with quotes from Oscar Wilde. I mean, honestly. I love these people. To paraphrase Anne Sexton, they are my kind.

Some of the photos below are blurry - I was experimenting with how much I could get away with, using no flash. The results are iffy, but I think a lot of them do capture the FEEL of the night.

Reminder: Joe Hurley's Irish Rock Revue tonight!

I know the poster says March 14th - but there's a show tonight - March 17th as well. I know for a fact there are still tix available.

Show at La Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker Street. Doors open at 6 p.m.

Buy tickets for the March 17th show here.

Joe Hurley has been hosting the Irish Rock Revue (with a cast of thousands) in New York for years now, and this coming year will be the 10th annual event.

I've seen Joe Hurley perform (at the Losers Lounge Queen Tribute, where he rocked the house with "Fat Bottomed Girls" as though he were to the Freddie-Mercury-born) and I've also had the pleasure of singing a medley of songs with him from Oliver in the middle of the day outside a Wall Street Bar on Bloomsday in 2002. Impromptu. One of my favorite New York memories.

His voice is a mix of Tom Waits and, well, Ron Moody, of course. Mixed in with a little Joe Strummer. Boy is a force of nature. Not to be missed.

His band, The Gents, have been together for years now - an emotional and jagged mixture of punk and Irish traditional music (and yeah, with a little "oom pah pah" mixed in there - Joe Hurley is obsessed with the musical Oliver, and why shouldn't he be, I ask you?) - and you can keep up to date with all of their shenanigans at their website.

Proceeds of the Irish Rock Revue go to a couple of good causes (Gilda's Club and the Humane Society), and it looks to be a couple of massive parties. He has guest artists come and sing, people from Broadway, Irish novelists who live in town, poets, performance artists ... I can't wait!

I'll be there, screaming "Oom PAH PAH" from my seat like the nerd that I am.

It's St. Patrick's Day but I don't really care about that. With my name, why would I give a shite about St. Patrick's Day? Seems a bit redundant, don't you think?

DETAILS

Date: March 17, 2009
Where: La Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker Street.
Time: Doors open at 6 p.m.

Buy tickets for the March 17th show here.

Here's Joe, from last year's Irish Rock Revue. And more photos here.

Cheers. Beannacht. Erin go bra-less.

Sláinte .

Calling all New Yorkers: Joe Hurley's 10th annual Irish Rock Revue

There's are two shows this year - one on March 14th, and one on March 17th as well.

Both shows are being held at La Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker Street.

Buy tickets for the March 14th show here.

Buy tickets for the March 17th show here.

Joe Hurley has been hosting the Irish Rock Revue (with a cast of thousands) in New York for years now, and this coming year will be the 10th annual event.

I've seen Joe Hurley perform (at the Losers Lounge Queen Tribute, where he rocked the house with "Fat Bottomed Girls" as though he were to the Freddie-Mercury-born) and I've also had the pleasure of singing a medley of songs with him from Oliver in the middle of the day outside a Wall Street Bar on Bloomsday in 2002. Impromptu. His voice is a mix of Tom Waits and, well, Ron Moody. Mixed in with a little Joe Strummer. Boy is a force of nature. Not to be missed.

His band, Rogue's March, have been together for years now - an emotional and jagged mixture of punk and Irish traditional music (and yeah, with a little "oom pah pah" mixed in there - Joe Hurley is obsessed with the musical Oliver, and why shouldn't he be, I ask you?) - and you can keep up to date with all of their shenanigans at their website. You know, concerts with the Chieftains and all that.

When I met Joe Hurley, I was sitting in a crowd of crazy Irish people on a sidewalk outside a bar in downtown New York, wearing an eyepatch (in honor of James Joyce), and I was shouting out lines from Molly Bloom's final monologue in Ulysses at the top of my lungs (and I wasn't the only one), and I was also drunk at 2 in the afternoon (and I wasn't the only one in that, either). The "Oliver" sing-along that began soon thereafter was spontaneous, and spearheaded by Hurley - but supported enthusiastically by myself. Other people took up the choruses, but we were the only two who knew the words to, well, everything. Oh, Betsy, if only you had been there. When I burst out in a low bass, all on my own, "Kniiiiives .... knives to grind ... aneeeeee knives to gri-ind ..." I thought Joe Hurley's head would explode. I got a high-five from him when I began "Where Is Love". I didn't even know him as "Joe Hurley (TM)" at that point - I had no idea who he was or his reputation - all I knew knew was: "Holy shit someone's as big a nerd as I am!"

It was only years later that I saw him onstage at the Bowery Ballroom, howling out "Fat-Bottomed Girls" as plump drag queens wearing flamingo-pink outfits bicycled around the stage throwing footballs back and forth, that I put it all together. But my response, from the balcony of Bowery Ballroom, was not, "Wow, that's a big star." My response was, "Oh my God! That's that Oliver nerd!!"

This past November, I got an email out of the blue from a Joe Hurley. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I opened it, and there was a Mr. Hurley, saying, basically, that he remembered the chick in the eyepatch from 7 years ago ... who loved Oliver ... and he tracked me down to tell me his band, Rogue's March, was doing an Oliver tribute for his birthday at Joe's Pub, and would I like to come. Of course, he found me through my blog, this post in particular, not to mention asking everyone who was there that day if they knew me and could find me. November was the darkest month of all. I couldn't go to his show at Joe's Pub, but it did make me laugh to remember that long ago Bloomsday, sitting on a picnic table surrounded by the canyons of Wall Street, not even a year after September 11th, wearing an eyepatch, and singing "It's a fine fine life" with this crazy-haired perfect stranger who knew all the words. That took some ingenuity to track me down. We didn't even know each other's names!

Anyway, the Irish Rock Revue is now a New York tradition, and I'm finally going, thanks be to God.

It's being held on two nights this year: March 14, and March 17. Proceeds go to a couple of good causes (Gilda's Club and the Humane Society), and it looks to be a couple of massive parties. He has guest artists come and sing, people from Broadway, Irish novelists who live in town, poets, performance artists ... I can't wait!

Joe Hurley was just featured in the Irish Echo, there's a lot of great information about him there - but I also wanted to get the word out to my fellow New Yorkers (and New Jersey-ians and, I suppose, Connecticut-ians) about the Irish Rock Revue, because it's going to be a helluva show.

Again, buy tickets for either show here or here.

iPod shuffle as I cleaned my apartment.

"Everybody Loves Me, Baby" - Don McLean. My whole childhood is in this song. I remember being disturbed, as a kid, by the blatant egotism of the song, it scared me. I was probably 5 years old. (It is important to remember that for my first "show and tell" in kindergarten I recited the whole of "American Pie". Other kids brought in their Barbies and GI Joes and hamsters. I stood up there, crowing out at the top of my lungs, "Do you believe in rock 'n roll, Can music save your mortal soul, And can you teach me how to dance real slow?") I remember hearing "Everybody Loves Me Baby" and asking my dad if he "was serious" and I remember my dad explaining it to me, and the concept of irony and sarcasm. It was a relief. At least he's not SERIOUS!

"Crumb By Crumb" - Rufus Wainwright

"All I Want for Christmas" - Mariah Carey. Well, chalk up another play for my #1 most played song on my entire iPod (by a HUGE margin). This song (as much as it would horrify him) will always make me think of Michael. I remember Mitchell basically yelling at Kate and me at breakfast in Chicago, saying, "IT'S A CHRISTMAS CLASSIC." Kate and I cowered in fear, saying, "No argument there, Mitchell ...." None, indeed.

"Rivers of Babylon" - Sinead O'Connor. Lighten up, hon.

"All Over the World" - ELO. Never gets old. A little bit too happy for me right now, but still. Never gets old.

"I Can See a Liar" - Oasis. I liked Oasis for about 2 seconds. I still like a lot of their sound but for me ... there's something lacking. It doesn't go into the mythic level. And with a sound like that, it really should. To me, Robbie Williams goes into the mythic level - similar sound, but he embodies something huge and campy and rock star-ish that Oasis doesn't come close to capturing. Again, that dude has one of the best voices in music (in my opinion - classic rock voice) ... but to me, it stays on the level of sound, and doesn't transcend. That being said, this is my favorite of their songs. (Props to Brendan for our conversation about Oasis - he helped me formulate this paragraph)

"Headache" - Liz Phair. Love her to death.

"A Mháire Bhruinneall" - Sarah McKeown. I like her.

"Conquest" - The White Stripes. This song makes me want to dry-hump someone on a couch. (Ibid.)

"My Hero" - Foo Fighters (live version. Speaking of Kurt Cobain ...) I actually like the live version better. It's raw.

"Love In An Elevator" - Aerosmith, florid central. "Livin' it up while I'm going' down"?? I mean, come on. Love them though.

"Some Unholy War" - Amy Winehouse. She's so fantastic.

"Let the River Run" - Alexandra Billings. Goosebumps. What a diva!!

"Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word" - Elton John. God, this song reminds me of college. And becoming friends with Mitchell.

"Close Every Door To Me" - from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat - the big showstopping anthem! "Children of Israel are never a-lone ..." "If my life were important I / would ask will I live or die?" Stop being so self-pitying, Joseph. Oh, wait. That's the whole point of the story. Right.

"Nothin' Will Ever Change" - L.E.O. (the brilliant wonderful joint venture between Mike Viola, Bleu, Andy Sturmer - and others ... inspired by ELO - great stuff.)

Untitled Instrumental - from Wynona Carr's awesome rocking gospel album Dragnet for Jesus. This is raw honky-tonk God music that makes you want to get up and scream for the Lord. Either that or say, "Screw the Lord" and jitterbug in a juke dive until you fall down from exhaustion and too much hooch from a mason jar. Whatever. I love Wynona Carr.

"Say Yeah" - Pat McCurdy. No matter how many times I hear those opening chords, it still pierces an arrow in my heart.

"Rock and Roll Ruby" - Warren Smith. Hot.

"Tragic Kingdom" - No Doubt. God, I loved this album when it first came out.

"Photograph" - Weezer. I love Weezer.

"Make Them Hear You" - Brian Stokes Mitchell from the musical Ragtime. Weirdly, Ragtime is one of my "desert island albums". But boy does Mitchell milk it!! Humorous aside: My friend Kate saw the original Ragtime, and said that Audra McDonald was basically a "raw nerve" - Kate had no idea how she did 8 shows a week at that pitch of emotion. I asked, "And how was Brian Stokes Mitchell?" Kate said drily, "I felt like every time he came onstage, it suddenly became Jagtime."

"Outside Villanova" - Eric Hutchinson. Such a funny "morning after" song - thank you Siobhan for introducing me to him!

"The Bear, The Tiger, The Hamster and the Mole" - Lynne Wintersteller - uhm yeah, this is from the 30something-musical Closer Than Ever. Boy, can this chick sing - but I listened to this song one too many times circa 1990 and I really should just delete it.

"Somebody Bigger Than You and I" - Whitney Houston (featuring Bobby Brown) - from The Preacher's Wife soundtrack, one of my favorites. I miss you, Whitney. Come back. Although I think you mean "bigger than you and me".

"The Look" - Dean Martin. One of my favorites of his. Man is he smooth. And always with that little smile in his voice.

"We'll Do It All Again" - Bleu. His voice absolutely kills me. It soars. One of the most emotional voices out there.

"I'm Okay" - Pat McCurdy. The last time I saw Pat, I said, "You know, iPod shuffle is so ridiculous sometimes, because you come up every other song." He said, "How annoying." "Totally."

"That Thing You Do" - speaking of Mike Viola ...

"14th Street" - Rufus Wainwright. This song makes me cry. Not because it's sad, but because its so damn happy. At least the tune is. But with lines like: "Why'd you have to break all my heart? Couldn't you have saved just a little bit of it?" My sentiments exactly.

"Every Time You Say Goodbye" - Alison Krauss. Her voice to me is like a warm comforting blanket.

"I Can't Tell You Why" - The Eagles. I only have their live album of greatest hits. It's a great album.

"Double Happy" - Split Enz. This album - True Colours - is probably one of my favorites of all time. "Nobody Takes Me Seriously"??? Love it. Love the whole album.

"Hotel California" - Eagles (live) - hmmm. A strange confluence in the iPod shuffle ...

"Bad Day" - Daniel Powter. Wow, I forgot I had this song. Why did I buy it again?

"Creep" - Radiohead. An entire era of my life springs into my mind when I hear this song. Dancing to this song like a banshee at a party in Soho, with a guy I had just met, throwing ourselves around, screaming the lyrics into each other's faces. I made out with him later.

"Music For a Found Harmonium" - Patrick Street. This comes from a compilation album of Irish music I have called Green Linnet Twentieth Anniversary Collection. Lots of balderdash on there - Celtic New-Age stuff makes me yawn - but I like the real Irish stuff, with the bodhrans and crap like that. "Music for a Found Harmonium" is great.

"I Want You (She's So Heavy)" - The Beatles. Hot.

"Chet Baker's Unsung Swansong" - David Wilcox. Killer lyrics, man.

My old addiction
Changed the wiring in my brain
So that when it turns the switches
Then I am not the same

So like the flowers toward the Sun
I will follow
Stretch myself out thin
Like there's a part of me that's already buried
That sends me out into this window

My old addiction
Is a flood upon the land
This tiny lifeboat
Can keep me dry
But my weight is all
That it can stand

So when I try to lean just a little
For just a splash to cool my face
Ahh that trickle
Turns out fickle
Fills my boat up
Five miles deep

My old addiction
Makes me crave only what is best
Like these just this morning song birds
Craving upward from the nest
These tiny birds outside my window
Take my hand to be their mom
These open mouths
Would trust and swallow
Anything that came along

Like my old addiction
Now the other side of Day
As the springtime
Of my life's time
Turn's the other way

If a swan can have a song
I think I know that tune
But the page is only scrawled
And I am gone this afternoon
But the page is only scrawled
And I am gone this afternoon

"It Hasn't Been Long Enough" - Eric Hutchinson. This might be my favorite track.

"Someone To Watch Over Me" - Julie Andrews. This song makes me cry. This is a killer version. The first section of it is completely a capella.

"Drivin' On" - The Breeders. There were a couple of years there when i didn't go a day without listening to their album Last Splash. I still love The Breeders.

"Higher Ground" - the kickass cover of the Stevie Wonder song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's one of those rare covers that is almost (almost) superior to the original. And of course it always reminds me of my favorite scene in Center Stage. HOT.

"Twilight" - ELO - from their album Time, which was the first album that was not a musical that I bought on my own. Brilliant album - I still think so.

"Let It Will Be" - Madonna - from Confessions on a Dance Floor which is a terrific album. One of my favorites of hers. I know she's an asshole, and I liked her better when she was a dirty girl from Detroit and not a fake-British-accented moron with a red string on her wrist. But I do love her music.

"Bye Bye Baby" - Marilyn Monroe. Words can't express my love for this song. You want to be in a nightclub wearing a tight strapless gown and gloves dancing with some GI on leave.

"J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva)" - Green Day. Just thrash your head around. That's the only thing to do to such a song.

"She Came In through the Bathroom Window" - The Beatles. Great makeout song.

"Dark Side of the Sun" - Tori Amos. I used to listen to her 24/7. Now I most explicitly must be in the mood for her. HOWEVER, her latest album has some tracks ("Big Wheel" in particular, and "Teenage Hustler") that I am always in the mood for. It's kind of thrilling. I've been a fan for years. I saw her in concert in Chicago before Little Earthquakes came out. I think it was being released the following month or something like that, so I was lucky - to see her in that small intimate venue - and she was UNBELIEVABLE. Raw. And funny, too.

".... Baby One More Time" - Fountains of Wayne doing a cover of the Britney Spears song. It is so brilliant to have a bunch of guys singing those lyrics - and I also love their comment on why they had covered it. "It's a great pop song. Whatever."

"Simon Zealotes" - from Jesus Christ Superstar ("Christ, you know I love you ...") Love it.

"20th Century Boy" - Placebo. LOVE THIS SONG.

"Longer" - Dan Fogelberg. I admit. I had to skip this one. Too sad. Way too sad for me on this day.

"New Religion" - Duran Duran. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

"Crimson and Clover" - Joan Jett. Never gets old.

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby. From the Christmas mix Emily sent me. Kerry! You and your performance have taken over this musical in my mind forever, you Broadway Irish Colleen!

Siobhan O'Malley: "Alibi Bye"

My beautiful and talented sister Siobhan has just had her second album released (after a good two years of almost non-stop work on it) and it is now available for purchase! It is called Alibi Bye. The sound on this one is really big, robust - and she had the great pleasure of working with seasoned and unbelievable studio musicians who would be like, "You want a jazzy harpischord solo here? No problem." "You need one tuba blast as an accent before the chorus? Let me call in my world-class tuba-playing friend." Etc. The album is rockin'!

Go, Siobhan!

And go purchase your copy now!

Soundtrack to right now

Now - Everclear

Waste my time running in circles
Waste my time going bad on the vine
I spent the last year walking through the fire
Now I do believe it's my turn to shine
(Now it's my turn to shine)

Waste my time walking in rythym
Waste my time talking in rhyme
I spent the last year in a Mexican freefall
I do believe it's my turn to climb

I used to think I was born to know trouble
I used to think I was a born-again clown
I used to think I had everybody guessing
I looked like I was flying high when I was falling down

Now I am taller than I used to be
Now I am living again
Now I like where I have found myself
This is where I want to be now

Now this is where I want to be
Now this is where I want to be
Now this is where I want to be

I was falling free in Mexico
Living on those taco bars and sweet sunshine
Learning how to walk again in my own skin
Learning the art of losing my mind

I used to think I was born in a hurricane
I used to think I was jumping jack flash
I used to think I was a victim of circumstance
Beating up on everyone all the time
I should have been kicking myself
in my own ass

Now I don't worry about the future much
Now I don't think about the past
Now I'm learning how to laugh again
This is where I want to be now

Now I'm tired of the drama club
Now I'm sick with all the hate
Yeah, it's been one hell of a hard year
This is where I want to be now
This is where I want to be now
I want to be now

"Here we are now. Entertain us."

Yesterday was Kurt Cobain's birthday.

Excerpt from Cobain's journal:

In the summer of 1983 ... I remember hanging out at a Montesano, Washington Thriftway when this short-haired employee box-boy, who kind [of] looked like the guy in Air Supply, handed me a flyer that read: "The Them Festival. Tomorrow night in the parking lot behind Thriftway. Free live rock music." Monte was a place not accustomed to having live rock acts in their little village, a population of a few thousand loggers and their subservient wives. I showed up with stoner friends in a van. And there stood the Air Supply box-boy holding a Les Paul with a picture from a magazine of Kool Cigarettes on it. They played faster than I ever imagined music could be played and with more energy than my Iron Maiden records could provide. This was what I was looking for. Ah, punk rock. The other stoners were bored and kept shouting, "Play some Def Leppard." God, I hated those fucks more than ever. I came to the promised land of a grocery store parking lot and I found my special purpose.

1989 review of Nirvana's show, written by Gillian Gaar in The Rocket:

Nirvana careens from one end of the thrash spectrum to the other, giving a nod towards garage grunge, alternative noise, and hell-raising metal without swearing allegiance to any of them.

1989 journal entry, Kurt Cobain:

My lyrics are a big pile of contradictions. They're split down the middle between very sincere opinions and feelings that I have, and sarcastic, hopeful, humorous rebuttals towards cliche, bohemian ideals that have been exhausted for years. I mean to be passionate and sincere, but I also like to have fun and act like a dork.

Bob Dylan, after hearing the song "Polly" for the first time:

The kid has heart.

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

During one rambunctious night of partying at Kurt's house, Hanna spray-painted "Kurt smells like teen spirit" on the bedroom wall. She was referring to a deodorant for teenage girls, so her graffiti was not without implication: Tobi used Teen Spirit, and by writing this on the wall, Kathleen was taunting Kurt about sleeping with her, implying that he was marked by her scent.

Line from the first draft of "Smells Like Teen Spirit":

Who will be the king and queen of the outcast teens?

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

On November 25 [1990], Nirvana played a show at Seattle's Off Ramp that attracted more A&R representatives than any concert in Northwest history. Representatives from Columbia, Capitol, Slash, RCA, and several other labels were bumping into each other. "The A & R guys were in full-court press," observed Sony's Damon Stewart. The sheer number of A & R reps altered the way the band was perceived in Seattle. "By that time," explained Susan Silver, "there was a competitive feeding frenzy going on around them."

The show itself was remarkable - Kurt later told a friend it was his favorite Nirvana performance. During an eighteen-song set, the band played twelve unreleased tunes. They opened with the powerful "Aneurysm," the first time it was played in public, and the crowd slam-danced and body-surfed until they broke the light bulbs on the ceiling. "I thought the show was amazing," recalled Kim Thayil of Soundgarden. "They did a cover of the Velvet Underground's 'Here She Comes Now' that I thought was brilliant. And then, when I heard 'Lithium', it stuck in my mind. Ben, our bass player, came up to me and said, 'That's the hit. That's a Top 40 hit right there.'"

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

... but the surprise came [at the show played in Seattle in April, 1991] when the band played a new composition. Kurt slurred the vocals, perhaps not even knowing all the words, but the guitar part was already in place, as was the tremendous driving drum beat. "I didn't know what they were playing," recalled Susie Tennant, DGC promotion rep, "but I knew it was amazing. I remember jumping up and down and asking everyone next to me, 'What is this song?' "

Tennant's words mimicked what Novoselic and Grohl had said just three weeks earlier, when Kurt brought a new riff into rehearsal. "It's called 'Smells Like Teen Spirit,'" Kurt announced to his bandmates, stealing the Kathleen Hanna graffiti. At the time, no one in the band knew of the deodorant, and it wasn't until the song was recorded and mastered that anyone pointed out it had the name of a product in it. When Kurt first brought the song into the studio, it ha a faster beat and less focus on the bridge. "Kurt was playing just the chorus," Krist remembered. It was Krist's idea to slow the tune down, and Grohl instinctively added a powerful beat.

At the O.K. Hotel, Kurt just hummed a couple of the verses. He was changing the lyrics to all his songs during this period, and "Teen Spirit" had about a dozen drafts. One of the final drafts featured the chorus: "A denial and from strangers / A revival and from favors / Here we are now, we're so famous / We're so stupid and from Vegas." Another began with: "Come out and play, make up the rules / Have lots of fun, we know we'll lose." Later in the same version was a line that had no rhyming couplet: "The finest day I ever had was when tomorrow never came."

September, 1991 - letter written by Cobain to a friend, the same week that "Smells Like Teen Spirit", the single, would go on sale:

I got evicted from my apartment. I'm living in my car so I have no address, but here's Krist's phone number for messages.

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

Two days later [September 15, 1991], Nirvana held an "in-store" at Beehive Records. DGC expected about 50 patrons, but when over 200 kids were lined up by two in the afternoon - for an event scheduled to start at seven - it began to dawn on them that perhaps the band's popularity was greater than first thought. Kurt had decided that rather than simply sign albums and shake people's hands - the usual business of an in-store - Nirvana would play. When he saw the line at the store that afternoon, it marked the first time he was heard to utter the words "holy shit" in response to his popularity. The band retreated to the Blue Moon Tavern and began drinking, but when they looked out the window and saw dozens of fans looking in, they felt like they were in the movie A Hard Day's Night. When the show began, Beehive was so crowded that kids were standing on racks of albums and sawhorses had to be lined up in front of the store's glass windows to protect them. Nirvana played a 45-minute set - performing on the store floor - until the crowd began smashing into the band like the pep rally in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video.

Kurt was bewildered by just how big a deal it had all become. Looking into the crowd, he saw half of the Seattle music scene and dozens of his friends. It was particularly unnerving for him to see two of his ex-girlfriends - Tobi and Tracy - there, bopping away to the songs. Even these intimates were now part of an audience he felt pressure to serve. The store was selling the first copies of Nevermind the public had a chance at, and they quickly sold out. "People were ripping posters off the wall," remembered store manager Jamie Brown, "just so they'd have a piece of paper for Kurt to autograph." Kurt kept shaking his head in amazement ...

Though he had always wanted to be famous - and back when he was in school in Monte, he had promised his classmates one day he would be - the actual culmination of his dreams deeply unnerved him.

On September 24, 1991, Nevermind went on sale nationwide.

Lines began forming at record stores across the country.

Mark Kates, representative from DGC, was with Novoselic and Grohl in Boston, on that day, and they went to Newbury Comics, and passed by a record store with a line around the block. Kates said:

It was amazing. There were like a thousand kids trying to buy this record.

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

It took two weeks for Nevermind to register in the Billboard Top 200, but when it did chart, the album entered at No. 144. By the second week it rose to No. 109; by the third week it was at No. 65; and after four weeks, on the second of November [1991], it was at No. 35, with a bullet. Few bands have had such a quick ascendancy to the Top 40 with their debuts. Nevermind would have registered even higher if DGC had been more prepared - due to their modest expectations, the label had initially pressed only 46,251 copies. For several weeks, the record was sold out.

Usually a quick rise on the charts is attributable to a well-orchestrated promotional effort, backed by marketing muscle, yet Nevermind achieved its early success without such grease. During its first few weeks, the record had little help from radio except in a few selected cities. When DGC's promotion staff tried to convince programmers to play "Teen Spirit", they initially met with resistance. "People at rock radio, even in Seattle, told me, 'We cant play this. I can't understand what the guy is saying,'" recalled DGC's Susie Tennant. Most stations that added the single slated it late at night, thinking it "too aggressive" to put on during the day.

Nirvana gives me goosebumps to this day, and this is years into my listening their music on a regular basis. "Rape Me", "Lithium", "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle" still, after all this time, make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

A couple years ago, I asked my brother to write an experience of his down - one that he had told me many times - but which I never got sick of hearing.

Here it is.

This is what it means to have music be important to you, to have impact, and I would hope that even non-Nirvana fans could recognize that. It is a universal experience. But there was something else going on in 1991, a kind of from-the-ground-up revolution, that definitely was being managed and watched by record execs (sharks circling that they are), but there was an organic element to it, too, which made it unbelievably exciting (to anyone who had been unhappy with the way radio sounded in the late 80s). This is what my brother speaks of here.

Quelle Chanson, Non?

My fifth year of college (!) was spent abroad in Orleans, France at L’Universite d’Orleans. Up until that point, I’d lived in Rhode Island all my life. From the time I was 15 until that year my main contact with the world outside of Little Rhody was through various punk rock bands.

This is what ’83 to ’91 looked like for me…

7Seconds were from out West and toured relentlessly, singing melodic breakneck hardcore punk that thematically took on ‘important’ issues like racism, sexism, and ‘the-world-doesn’t-understand-our-mohawks-ism’.

Minor Threat were from D.C. and not as upbeat as 7Seconds. They were more attuned to the forces that lay behind the ills of society and therefore less inclined to sing passionately about being able to change it. They later morphed into Fugazi, another of my all-time favs.

The Midwest was represented by a two-headed hydra of searing punk rock, The Replacements and Husker Du. The Replacements were the ill-advised Thursday night booze-off before a big test and Husker Du was the all-night study session for a political science exam that devolves into a meth-fueled rage against some machine.

All these bands were connected to other lesser lights. Before the internet, there was DIY (Do It Yourself) punk rock. They started their own record labels, they printed their own LP’s, they drew their own posters. They toured the country in vans sleeping on the couches of their biggest fans.

Rolling Stone didn’t write about them, radio wouldn’t touch them with an any length foot pole, MTV was already in the business of creating megastars, and the majority of the public winced at anything that was LOUD. I vividly remember playing a Replacements song for a friend of mine in high school. This guy was a musician, a guitar player who liked heavy metal for Pete’s sake, but he simply COULD NOT HEAR THE SONG. All he heard was noise.

This scene would be replayed throughout the late ‘80’s for me, both in high school and in my first few years in college. I had my circle of like-minded friends. There were four of us. Tom, Justin, Joe, moi. We were occasionally a band, but more often than not we were intense spectators. To be a fan of this music meant a certain level of danger. Concerts were rag-tag affairs in which the crowd threw itself against itself as ferociously as possible. There were violent elements who were attracted to this kind of freedom and we often found ourselves rescuing punk maidens from slam-dance circles and avenging uncalled for elbows with punches. Skinheads, completely missing the point, weren’t dancing so much as they were trolling for conflict. Depending on our mood, we either gave it to them or didn’t.

Outside the shows this underground element would collide with ‘normal’ American life. The leeriness of capitalism was astounding. The feeling of ‘us vs. them’ was overwhelming. Restaurants would refuse to serve you. Store owners would deny you their products. Business owners would REFUSE YOUR MONEY. I could romanticize that whole aspect as having added some level of enjoyment, but to be honest, it just sucked. I had thousands of ‘what is the deal with THAT’ conversations with my co-conspirators. The justifications we concocted on behalf of our oppressors could never quite be pinned down into any certain set of criteria. Suffice it to say, we were, by definition, outsiders.

Did this status affect my view of said mainstream? In other words, was I as much of a douchebag to the world as the world was a douchebag to me? Of course not. I bought ‘Thriller’ like everyone else. I rocked out to Van Halen’s ‘Runnin’ With The Devil’. I lusted over Sade. I never cared for Madonna, but I didn’t SPIT at people who did. I even had some classic rock in the collection. My tastes ran towards punk rock but I could appreciate Duran Duran, perhaps the weirdest boy band ever. And Prince was from Minneapolis like my other two favorite bands. What wasn’t there to like about Prince?

But my open-mindedness was definitely not reciprocated. For some reason the music that meant the most to me was not just disliked, it was seen as a threat.

So, college happened in there somewhere. In between punk rock concerts, I did a ton of plays at the wonderful University of Rhode Island theater department. I had a series of disastrous relationships and abused alcohol. I HAD A BLAST.

I kept three majors. Theater, English, and French. My youthful enjoyment of Inspector Clouseau had improbably turned into a major. Thus everything about my French studies seemed vaguely comedic to me. The opportunity to live in France for a year was going to be a laugh riot. I’d completed 4 full years of college and only needed 9 credits to graduate. 5 classes per semester equals 15 credits, so you do the math. Over the course of my two semesters in France, I only needed to do less than one semester of work. France was in trouble, people.

That summer wasn’t exactly a victory lap of an exit. I got Lyme’s Disease and went through a horrific breakup. I left the country an emotional wreck and very unhealthy. In fact, I took the last of my antibiotics right before I got on the plane, hoping they’d done their work. I invested in an expensive CD Walkman and a small set of speakers. I brought two notebooks of CD’s with me, perhaps 20 of my favorites.

My first couple of months in France were primarily recuperative. I went to classes with my other Foreign Exchange students, I ate pleasant dinners with my host family, I went to every movie in town to get used to listening to French when I didn’t have to respond. I read in my little dorm room. I ate the same meal twice a day at the cafeteria. Slowly the language unfurled itself to me and social situations became bearable.

Two of my American friends had joined a local American football team and made some French friends. This was what I was after. Instead of hanging out with my classmates, other non-French speaking foreigners, I began hanging out primarily with French people. But America was about to reach out to me.

The campus of L’Universite d’Orleans is a 20 minute bus ride outside of the city of Orleans. We all began to spend far more time in the city and very little on campus. On one of these excursions, we stopped in at FNAC. FNAC (said as one word by the French, hilarious) was the French version of Tower Records. In a ‘holy shit I feel old’ side note, Tower recently disappeared off of the face of the planet.

I’d been in France a couple of months and I’d yet to buy any music, preferring instead to start smoking. So I wasn’t all that into going to FNAC, to be honest. I loitered, looking at French chicks.

And then a song came on over the in-store stereo system.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ANYTHING THAT FOLLOWS.

My memory of this moment is like one of those long unbroken movie shots…the camera starts up in the very highest corner of the store. The song begins and slowly the camera begins to swoop, capturing the silly French fashions, the funny haircuts, the multi colored crazily buttoned jackets, the pointy shoes, late ‘80’s American culture reappropriated back to Europe and funneled inappropriately into Mass Appeal. The focus of the shot narrows in on the face of an obviously American post-teen. As the music builds, the camera nears his face as his mouth opens, his toes tap, his head bounces. He is obviously AMAZED at this sound. The sound obliterates everything else.

The camera stays in close up. The song ends. The next voice you hear you have to try to imagine a little bit. Do you remember the morning rock DJ in your town? Do you remember the inherent utter hyperbole in their speech? Now cross that with Inspector Clouseau…

‘Eh, mes amis, quelle chanson, non? C’etait le Number One des Etats Unis, la nouvelle son de…”

Interjection: Did I just hear him say that was the Number One song in the United States? When I flew out of Logan Airport, the number one song was ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’ by Bryan Adams. It had just replaced ‘Rush Rush’ by Paula Abdul. Those were the big hits of the summer. Think about that for a second.

Cut back to gape-mouthed post-teen…

“…la nouvelle son de Nirvana! Smells Like Teen Spirit de l’album Nevermind.”

Dropping the camera metaphor, I could barely believe what I’d been hearing. I tore over to the Rock section and found Nirvana. Sold out. I had heard of them after they put out their ‘Bleach’ album in 1989 but I hadn’t bought the album and knew very little about them. I was almost angry. That song was Number One??? What the hell was going on back there???? I turn my back for one second and all of a sudden everyone can handle loud music??? Not only can they handle it, but it is THE MOST POPULAR SONG IN THE COUNTRY????

I seriously thought about getting on a plane and flying back to the States.

Imagine you work for a political candidate, Mr. So-and-so. You’ve been tirelessly campaigning for years. You’ve poured your heart and soul into a race that people seem ambivalent about at best. By some fluke, you are on a deserted island when the actual voting takes place. Your isolation makes you wonder what ever compelled you to get involved in politics in the first place. A plane flies overhead. Instead of rescuing you, it drops a newspaper on your head. The headline says, “So-and-So Elected in a Landslide!”

I’d spent the better part of ten years catching flak for how loud and out of control my tastes were, how what I liked was actually an affront to decent American consumerism, and that such a horrific assault on art and sound was everything that was wrong with the youth of today.

Bryan Adams was considered a ROCK STAR. Huey Lewis (god love ‘im) was a ROCK STAR. Now, I have nothing against either of these guys, but…come on. ROCK STARS? I don’t think so. Rock stars scare people. David Bowie is a ROCK STAR. Mick Jagger is a ROCK STAR. They scared people! They might even have slept together just to show the world they could do whatever they wanted! ROCK STARS change how people view the world.

I have never felt such a sensation of vertigo as I did that day in that French record store. One listen of that song and I knew that NOTHING would be the same when I got back to America. Name another song that could truthfully make such a claim.

One final note. I only got 8 credits and had to take another class when I got back Stateside. C’est la vie!

Tori Amos describes a similar moment to what my brother describes when she first heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (a song which she immediately covered). She was in Iceland, touring with just her piano and herself. She had not "hit" yet. That would come the following year. There was no place for her, either, in the world of radio at that time. She was unclassifiable. Perhaps she was okay with that, who knows - but she says she was in Iceland in a little bar, and suddenly she felt goosebumps go all over her body, as she heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" start playing. What the hell was that song? What the hell was going on back in the United States that that was number one? It was a prescient moment for her. She had this strange prickly sixth sense that "it" could happen for her now. If there was a place for that in the Top 40, then there would be a place for her. (Here's an interview with Amos about that song.) She says, "'Smells Like Teen Spirit' was really like an injection. It propelled people to choose what they wanted to do with themselves and their questioning, and it gave a generation some juice."

Some Nirvana videos below the jump.

Although 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' gets most of the attention, and rightly so, my favorite Nirvana song (well, I flip flop) is "Lithium". That, and "Rape Me" (when he starts screaming "Rape Me" over and over at the end - and it's this catchy almost old-fashioned tune, but he's repeatedly screaming "Rape Me" - just unbelievable) ... but I think "Lithium" ultimately gets the gold from yours truly.

September, 1991 - letter written by Cobain to a friend, the same week that "Smells Like Teen Spirit", the single, would go on sale:

I got evicted from my apartment. I'm living in my car so I have no address, but here's Krist's phone number for messages.

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

Two days later [September 15, 1991], Nirvana held an "in-store" at Beehive Records. DGC expected about 50 patrons, but when over 200 kids were lined up by two in the afternoon - for an event scheduled to start at seven - it began to dawn on them that perhaps the band's popularity was greater than first thought. Kurt had decided that rather than simply sign albums and shake people's hands - the usual business of an in-store - Nirvana would play. When he saw the line at the store that afternoon, it marked the first time he was heard to utter the words "holy shit" in response to his popularity. The band retreated to the Blue Moon Tavern and began drinking, but when they looked out the window and saw dozens of fans looking in, they felt like they were in the movie A Hard Day's Night. When the show began, Beehive was so crowded that kids were standing on racks of albums and sawhorses had to be lined up in front of the store's glass windows to protect them. Nirvana played a 45-minute set - performing on the store floor - until the crowd began smashing into the band like the pep rally in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video.

Kurt was bewildered by just how big a deal it had all become. Looking into the crowd, he saw half of the Seattle music scene and dozens of his friends. It was particularly unnerving for him to see two of his ex-girlfriends - Tobi and Tracy - there, bopping away to the songs. Even these intimates were now part of an audience he felt pressure to serve. The store was selling the first copies of Nevermind the public had a chance at, and they quickly sold out. "People were ripping posters off the wall," remembered store manager Jamie Brown, "just so they'd have a piece of paper for Kurt to autograph." Kurt kept shaking his head in amazement ...

Though he had always wanted to be famous - and back when he was in school in Monte, he had promised his classmates one day he would be - the actual culmination of his dreams deeply unnerved him.

On September 24, 1991, Nevermind went on sale nationwide.

Lines began forming at record stores across the country.

Mark Kates, representative from DGC, was with Novoselic and Grohl in Boston, on that day, and they went to Newbury Comics, and passed by a record store with a line around the block. Kates said:

It was amazing. There were like a thousand kids trying to buy this record.

Excerpt from Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, by Charles Cross:

It took two weeks for Nevermind to register in the Billboard Top 200, but when it did chart, the album entered at No. 144. By the second week it rose to No. 109; by the third week it was at No. 65; and after four weeks, on the second of November [1991], it was at No. 35, with a bullet. Few bands have had such a quick ascendancy to the Top 40 with their debuts. Nevermind would have registered even higher if DGC had been more prepared - due to their modest expectations, the label had initially pressed only 46,251 copies. For several weeks, the record was sold out.

Usually a quick rise on the charts is attributable to a well-orchestrated promotional effort, backed by marketing muscle, yet Nevermind achieved its early success without such grease. During its first few weeks, the record had little help from radio except in a few selected cities. When DGC's promotion staff tried to convince programmers to play "Teen Spirit", they initially met with resistance. "People at rock radio, even in Seattle, told me, 'We cant play this. I can't understand what the guy is saying,'" recalled DGC's Susie Tennant. Most stations that added the single slated it late at night, thinking it "too aggressive" to put on during the day.

Nirvana gives me goosebumps to this day, and this is years into my listening their music on a regular basis. "Rape Me", "Lithium", "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle" still, after all this time, make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

A couple years ago, I asked my brother to write an experience of his down - one that he had told me many times - but which I never got sick of hearing.

Here it is.

This is what it means to have music be important to you, to have impact, and I would hope that even non-Nirvana fans could recognize that. It is a universal experience. But there was something else going on in 1991, a kind of from-the-ground-up revolution, that definitely was being managed and watched by record execs (sharks circling that they are), but there was an organic element to it, too, which made it unbelievably exciting (to anyone who had been unhappy with the way radio sounded in the late 80s). This is what my brother speaks of here.

Quelle Chanson, Non?

My fifth year of college (!) was spent abroad in Orleans, France at L’Universite d’Orleans. Up until that point, I’d lived in Rhode Island all my life. From the time I was 15 until that year my main contact with the world outside of Little Rhody was through various punk rock bands.

This is what ’83 to ’91 looked like for me…

7Seconds were from out West and toured relentlessly, singing melodic breakneck hardcore punk that thematically took on ‘important’ issues like racism, sexism, and ‘the-world-doesn’t-understand-our-mohawks-ism’.

Minor Threat were from D.C. and not as upbeat as 7Seconds. They were more attuned to the forces that lay behind the ills of society and therefore less inclined to sing passionately about being able to change it. They later morphed into Fugazi, another of my all-time favs.

The Midwest was represented by a two-headed hydra of searing punk rock, The Replacements and Husker Du. The Replacements were the ill-advised Thursday night booze-off before a big test and Husker Du was the all-night study session for a political science exam that devolves into a meth-fueled rage against some machine.

All these bands were connected to other lesser lights. Before the internet, there was DIY (Do It Yourself) punk rock. They started their own record labels, they printed their own LP’s, they drew their own posters. They toured the country in vans sleeping on the couches of their biggest fans.

Rolling Stone didn’t write about them, radio wouldn’t touch them with an any length foot pole, MTV was already in the business of creating megastars, and the majority of the public winced at anything that was LOUD. I vividly remember playing a Replacements song for a friend of mine in high school. This guy was a musician, a guitar player who liked heavy metal for Pete’s sake, but he simply COULD NOT HEAR THE SONG. All he heard was noise.

This scene would be replayed throughout the late ‘80’s for me, both in high school and in my first few years in college. I had my circle of like-minded friends. There were four of us. Tom, Justin, Joe, moi. We were occasionally a band, but more often than not we were intense spectators. To be a fan of this music meant a certain level of danger. Concerts were rag-tag affairs in which the crowd threw itself against itself as ferociously as possible. There were violent elements who were attracted to this kind of freedom and we often found ourselves rescuing punk maidens from slam-dance circles and avenging uncalled for elbows with punches. Skinheads, completely missing the point, weren’t dancing so much as they were trolling for conflict. Depending on our mood, we either gave it to them or didn’t.

Outside the shows this underground element would collide with ‘normal’ American life. The leeriness of capitalism was astounding. The feeling of ‘us vs. them’ was overwhelming. Restaurants would refuse to serve you. Store owners would deny you their products. Business owners would REFUSE YOUR MONEY. I could romanticize that whole aspect as having added some level of enjoyment, but to be honest, it just sucked. I had thousands of ‘what is the deal with THAT’ conversations with my co-conspirators. The justifications we concocted on behalf of our oppressors could never quite be pinned down into any certain set of criteria. Suffice it to say, we were, by definition, outsiders.

Did this status affect my view of said mainstream? In other words, was I as much of a douchebag to the world as the world was a douchebag to me? Of course not. I bought ‘Thriller’ like everyone else. I rocked out to Van Halen’s ‘Runnin’ With The Devil’. I lusted over Sade. I never cared for Madonna, but I didn’t SPIT at people who did. I even had some classic rock in the collection. My tastes ran towards punk rock but I could appreciate Duran Duran, perhaps the weirdest boy band ever. And Prince was from Minneapolis like my other two favorite bands. What wasn’t there to like about Prince?

But my open-mindedness was definitely not reciprocated. For some reason the music that meant the most to me was not just disliked, it was seen as a threat.

So, college happened in there somewhere. In between punk rock concerts, I did a ton of plays at the wonderful University of Rhode Island theater department. I had a series of disastrous relationships and abused alcohol. I HAD A BLAST.

I kept three majors. Theater, English, and French. My youthful enjoyment of Inspector Clouseau had improbably turned into a major. Thus everything about my French studies seemed vaguely comedic to me. The opportunity to live in France for a year was going to be a laugh riot. I’d completed 4 full years of college and only needed 9 credits to graduate. 5 classes per semester equals 15 credits, so you do the math. Over the course of my two semesters in France, I only needed to do less than one semester of work. France was in trouble, people.

That summer wasn’t exactly a victory lap of an exit. I got Lyme’s Disease and went through a horrific breakup. I left the country an emotional wreck and very unhealthy. In fact, I took the last of my antibiotics right before I got on the plane, hoping they’d done their work. I invested in an expensive CD Walkman and a small set of speakers. I brought two notebooks of CD’s with me, perhaps 20 of my favorites.

My first couple of months in France were primarily recuperative. I went to classes with my other Foreign Exchange students, I ate pleasant dinners with my host family, I went to every movie in town to get used to listening to French when I didn’t have to respond. I read in my little dorm room. I ate the same meal twice a day at the cafeteria. Slowly the language unfurled itself to me and social situations became bearable.

Two of my American friends had joined a local American football team and made some French friends. This was what I was after. Instead of hanging out with my classmates, other non-French speaking foreigners, I began hanging out primarily with French people. But America was about to reach out to me.

The campus of L’Universite d’Orleans is a 20 minute bus ride outside of the city of Orleans. We all began to spend far more time in the city and very little on campus. On one of these excursions, we stopped in at FNAC. FNAC (said as one word by the French, hilarious) was the French version of Tower Records. In a ‘holy shit I feel old’ side note, Tower recently disappeared off of the face of the planet.

I’d been in France a couple of months and I’d yet to buy any music, preferring instead to start smoking. So I wasn’t all that into going to FNAC, to be honest. I loitered, looking at French chicks.

And then a song came on over the in-store stereo system.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ANYTHING THAT FOLLOWS.

My memory of this moment is like one of those long unbroken movie shots…the camera starts up in the very highest corner of the store. The song begins and slowly the camera begins to swoop, capturing the silly French fashions, the funny haircuts, the multi colored crazily buttoned jackets, the pointy shoes, late ‘80’s American culture reappropriated back to Europe and funneled inappropriately into Mass Appeal. The focus of the shot narrows in on the face of an obviously American post-teen. As the music builds, the camera nears his face as his mouth opens, his toes tap, his head bounces. He is obviously AMAZED at this sound. The sound obliterates everything else.

The camera stays in close up. The song ends. The next voice you hear you have to try to imagine a little bit. Do you remember the morning rock DJ in your town? Do you remember the inherent utter hyperbole in their speech? Now cross that with Inspector Clouseau…

‘Eh, mes amis, quelle chanson, non? C’etait le Number One des Etats Unis, la nouvelle son de…”

Interjection: Did I just hear him say that was the Number One song in the United States? When I flew out of Logan Airport, the number one song was ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’ by Bryan Adams. It had just replaced ‘Rush Rush’ by Paula Abdul. Those were the big hits of the summer. Think about that for a second.

Cut back to gape-mouthed post-teen…

“…la nouvelle son de Nirvana! Smells Like Teen Spirit de l’album Nevermind.”

Dropping the camera metaphor, I could barely believe what I’d been hearing. I tore over to the Rock section and found Nirvana. Sold out. I had heard of them after they put out their ‘Bleach’ album in 1989 but I hadn’t bought the album and knew very little about them. I was almost angry. That song was Number One??? What the hell was going on back there???? I turn my back for one second and all of a sudden everyone can handle loud music??? Not only can they handle it, but it is THE MOST POPULAR SONG IN THE COUNTRY????

I seriously thought about getting on a plane and flying back to the States.

Imagine you work for a political candidate, Mr. So-and-so. You’ve been tirelessly campaigning for years. You’ve poured your heart and soul into a race that people seem ambivalent about at best. By some fluke, you are on a deserted island when the actual voting takes place. Your isolation makes you wonder what ever compelled you to get involved in politics in the first place. A plane flies overhead. Instead of rescuing you, it drops a newspaper on your head. The headline says, “So-and-So Elected in a Landslide!”

I’d spent the better part of ten years catching flak for how loud and out of control my tastes were, how what I liked was actually an affront to decent American consumerism, and that such a horrific assault on art and sound was everything that was wrong with the youth of today.

Bryan Adams was considered a ROCK STAR. Huey Lewis (god love ‘im) was a ROCK STAR. Now, I have nothing against either of these guys, but…come on. ROCK STARS? I don’t think so. Rock stars scare people. David Bowie is a ROCK STAR. Mick Jagger is a ROCK STAR. They scared people! They might even have slept together just to show the world they could do whatever they wanted! ROCK STARS change how people view the world.

I have never felt such a sensation of vertigo as I did that day in that French record store. One listen of that song and I knew that NOTHING would be the same when I got back to America. Name another song that could truthfully make such a claim.

One final note. I only got 8 credits and had to take another class when I got back Stateside. C’est la vie!

Tori Amos describes a similar moment to what my brother describes when she first heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (a song which she immediately covered). She was in Iceland, touring with just her piano and herself. She had not "hit" yet. That would come the following year. There was no place for her, either, in the world of radio at that time. She was unclassifiable. Perhaps she was okay with that, who knows - but she says she was in Iceland in a little bar, and suddenly she felt goosebumps go all over her body, as she heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" start playing. What the hell was that song? What the hell was going on back in the United States that that was number one? It was a prescient moment for her. She had this strange prickly sixth sense that "it" could happen for her now. If there was a place for that in the Top 40, then there would be a place for her. (Here's an interview with Amos about that song.) She says, "'Smells Like Teen Spirit' was really like an injection. It propelled people to choose what they wanted to do with themselves and their questioning, and it gave a generation some juice."

Some Nirvana videos below the jump.

Although 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' gets most of the attention, and rightly so, my favorite Nirvana song (well, I flip flop) is "Lithium". That, and "Rape Me" (when he starts screaming "Rape Me" over and over at the end - and it's this catchy almost old-fashioned tune, but he's repeatedly screaming "Rape Me" - just unbelievable) ... but I think "Lithium" ultimately gets the gold from yours truly.

Swimming through the bees

I remember hearing "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby", the 8-minute-long song by the Counting Crows long before 1999 when the album was released (just looked it up). I associate "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" with the spring and summer of 1995, a time of personal loss and grief, but also possibility and hope, when I was so lost and yet also so alive. Loneliness, weird stasis - almost like a plane hovering over the runway, smothering heat wave, lots of sex, burning nostalgia... yearning for the past, excited for the future, sad it all will end ... I was SURE that "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" was a big part of that whole time. But no. It came afterwards. Long afterwards.

I may be confusing it with the earlier album, which came out in 1993 - the one with "Anna Begins" on it, but it's "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" that I remember.

I guess that's just how memory works. It melds together two intense times, or superimposes a soundtrack from a different era onto another time, because the mood is right. Or the music fits with the era because it either so reflects your own experience that you had had at that time, and you want to relive it, or shocks you out of certain moods, propelling you down a different path. For example, I do have some "get happy" songs. It is not always possible for me to get happy - nor do I always want to "get happy" (especially not now) - there is sadness too big to touch, but if I can sense a sadness approaching (of the vague self-pitying kind - not the acute immediate kind, which will not be stopped) ... there are songs that can help me snap out of it. I've written posts before about how certain songs seem to actually contain memories - and so I need to be careful, sometimes, of what I listen to. Because I'm not always in the mood to be transported. It'll be the strangest things, and sometimes the song, and my relationship to it, does change - but here's an example. It's not like I am transported to that specific time when I hear that song. I am transported. Here's another example, a song that, to this day, has the potential to (literally) take my breath away. More here.

It is one of my favorite topics. Perhaps it's because of acting and theatre - you get used to dealing in emotion, figuring out what works, what doesn't ... it's like you have to build up your arsenal of weapons. "Watershed" by the Indigo Girls makes me cry, no matter how happy or contented I am when it comes on. It is a trigger. Not just because of the lyrics, but the sound, the chord progression, and also the memories the song itself contains. But I also am interested in memory itself, and how the brain latches onto things, and how even if it is not literally true, there is sometimes a deeper truth, not connected to facts or accurate timelines.

I know that "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" came into my life because of my friends David and Maria, who love The Counting Crows (I do, too - but I had somehow missed owning this album). And now I don't own ANY Counting Crows albums, because I just don't really care about them anymore - but I sure as hell own "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby". My music collection would never be complete without it. It's a "go to" song, meaning: I'm a fantasist. I manage to pay my bills and clean my house and maintain relationships, but at heart, I prefer the dream to the reality. My fantasies are places I wallow in, languishing, I could spend hours there, and I do. These aren't just sexual fantasies, although I have those too, of course. Sometimes they are "revenge fantasies", where I "get" someone back, sometimes they are casual fantasies - chatting, my head in someone's lap, comfort, peace (have to be careful about those) ... sometimes they are wild and out there, involving home movies and me jumping on a trampoline in the middle of the desert (I love that one ). Music is attached to all of this. And nothing general: specific songs help me go to the specific fantasy. The "home movie-trampoline" song is "Holding my Breath" by Hello goodbye, for example.

Something I go through phases of listening to a song on eternal repeat (and when I say "eternal repeat" I mean that I drove for four hours yesterday listening only to "Now" by Everclear). Right now, a time when I need comfort and reminders of certain TYPES of emotions - other than loss and self-hatred and fear and disappointment - I have a couple of "go to" songs, and it's one of the reasons why I can't just randomly listen to music right now. I cannot be ambushed. Music also doesn't hold my attention.

A lot of times I stay away from "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" due to the associations I have (however incorrect), of a summer of baffled loss. It's not something I choose to call upon. Like the song itself says:

And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings

But there is something transcendent in the song at times too, it feels like something in me rises up to meet it. "We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars ..."

It's eight minutes long. It appears to be repetitive (it is repetitive). But it transports.

I have never looked up the lyrics. I didn't feel I needed to.

There was one of those lines that made me burn with a joy almost too sweet to bear: "So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the bees..."

When I was heartsick and aching, that image - of running, and throwing my hand into the air, and having it "swim in the bees" - was strangely comforting - terrible actually - because wouldn't it sting? But it reminded me of things, things I loved, things I was trying to stop myself from loving, things that could save me if I let them - joy, acceptance, gratitude ... and it hurt. That line HURT. But I got something from it. It spoke to me. I remembered running through the fields with Michael, before he caught up to me and tackled me, I remembered running towards the surf on the last day of high school and Betsy jumping in, I remembered bopping around in my parents' car with Mitchell on a summer night, going to Dairy Queen and listening to Barbra Streisand ... freedom, and laughter and friendship ... that is poignant now only because it is over.

For some reason today I Googled the lyrics.

I was shocked and saddened (at first) - after all these years - that the hand does not "swim through the bees". It's not bees at all. The hand swims "through the beams". But this is a post about memory, which is notoriously faulty, first of all, but also notoriously more reliable than anything else.

Those lyrics (my lyrics, I mean) have connotations for me, connotations of joy and hope that felt so far away for me in that summer of 1995, and feel very far away from me right now.

It is hard to point at something in my life at this time and say, "There. There is the 'substance of things hoped for.' I can see it. I can feel it." My hands grasp empty air.

It feels like a moral imperative for me to focus on being grateful right now ... but it is also not so easy, and something I struggle with on a second-to-second basis, at times. I feel lost, grief-struck, frightened, and sometimes overwhelmingly sad. Entire days are lost.

But when I hear that bit of the song, once again, the images come ... from years ago ... as if on cue ... running across some golden field, throwing my hand up in the air, and letting it swim through the bees. I can even feel the light touch of those bees on my hand ... the slight sting ... it doesn't really hurt, it's really just a pinprick... hot and sharp.

I'm rather surprised I can listen to this song right now, but I think I need those bees.

I've always known what I needed.

Well I woke up in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast

well, I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame
and though I'll never forget your face,
sometimes i can't remember my name

Hey Mrs. Potter don't cry
Hey Mrs. Potter I know why but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

Well, there's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything

Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
And the ghosts of the tilt-a-whirl will linger inside your head
And the ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When I see you a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey Mrs. Potter don't go
Hey Mrs. Potter I don't know but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

All the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep

So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well, I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
But I'd sure like to find out
So why don't you climb down off that movie screen

Hey Mrs. Potter don't turn
Hey Mrs. Potter I burn for you
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
and orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for
That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before
So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door

We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up in the palace like it's the last of the great pioneer town bars
We shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
You can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far
Oh, you can see a million miles tonight
But you can't get very far

Hey Mrs. Potter I won't touch
Hey Mrs. Potter it's not much but
Hey Mrs. Potter won't you talk to me

RIP Eartha Kitt

Eartha Kitt, Micheál MacLíammóir, Orson Welles

I'm proud of the fact that two of her songs are on my Top 25 Most Played on my iPod. Nobody like her. NOBODY.

My parents saw her a couple years ago at the Newport Jazz Festival. She wasn't a day over 156 years old.

Also, Mitchell saw her perform and she, at one point, cuddled up on his lap. I adore her.

My two favorites of hers are not her most famous, perhaps, and I had a hard time finding a clip of her performing them on Youtube. But if you don't know them, do yourself a favor and check out her renditions of "Beale St. Blues" and "A Woman Wouldn't Be a Woman". I'd call them two of the best makeout songs of all time, first of all. And again: there's just no one like her. Nobody else would make the choices she makes ... they are so completely hers ... and she makes it all work. Through commitment and specificity.

God, I loved her.

Clip below (insanely weird. The set, the costume, the fact that there is no closeup of her until more than halfway through ... I MISS television like that - it's like a drug trip or a bad dream) ... of her singing "I'm Just an Old-Fashioned Girl".

Watch her gesture and her expression when she sings the words "hers and hers". That's specific. And the big smile at the end kills me. Because she lets us know that she's in on the joke. The joke is on us. Lovely.

We all know her heart belonged to Daddy, but there's a space in my heart reserved for her.

Rest in peace, Eartha. You were one of a kind.

Rourke on Bruce Springsteen: "He did me such an honor, such a favor."

Great interview with Rourke. I like the part when he gets overheated. There's that weird vulnerability he has in interviews - it's startling because he looks like such a bruiser. The story about Springsteen writing the song that rolls over the final credits is really cool:

You were responsible for getting Bruce Springsteen to write the song for the end credits. How did that happen?
MR: After about six days, I knew something magical was happening on the movie. It gave me the gumption to write Springsteen a letter. I told him we had no money, but we shot it in New Jersey. And we even shot an extra scene in Asbury Park! He wrote back, and then five months later he called and said, “It’s Bruce,” and I said, “Who?”—I think I was on my Vespa—and he said, “Bruce. Springsteen.” I was like, “Oh fuck! Oh! OH!” He said, “I wrote you a little something.”

I don’t think Darren had a clue what The Boss was all about. I took him to Giants Stadium—there were like 80,000 people there—and he was like, “Hmmmm, they really like him.” So we go backstage, and Bruce picks up a guitar and plays the [song on an] acoustic guitar for us. It was the first time we heard it, and I was like, he’s got words to it and everything! Man, he really got it. He didn’t see the movie, he’d only read the fucking script, but the song sums up the whole character. He did me such an honor, such a favor.

For some reason, the "he's got words to it and everything!" brings a lump to my throat.

Promoting my peeps: Brendan on "The Raunch Hands"

My brother continues with his "42 Greatest Albums" list - and yesterday he launched a review of The Raunch Hands' album - which ... well ... I have mentioned the album before in a post I wrote about albums from my childhood ... It was long-lost, I thought. It was in my parents' collection and we, as children, were OBSESSED with it ... and I won't talk anymore.

Just go read his essay.

I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face, reading it - remembering my childhood - and I also got a lump in my throat. Just the way he describes things and the passion behind his words. Then also, how he envisions us, as children, singing along to this album:

It came out at the height of the Cold War, before social unrest became pigeonholed into long hair and stinky underarms. These guys look like a Skull 'n Bones charter meeting but this is some of the most radical shit ever. They open with 'The Bomb Song' which chronicles a Slavic terrorist group as they keep having to come up with someone new to carry the suicide package.

Imagine 3 kids in Toughskins, faces smeared with Oreos gathered around a record player in 1976. Nerf football in the corner. Fisher Price Little People everywhere. They chant in unison, "Mama's aim is bad and the copskys all know Dad so it's Brother Ivanovich's turn to throw the bomb!"

I am CRYING with laughter!

Please go read the whole thing!!

Rest in peace, Odetta

Folk singer and civil rights activist Odetta is dead at 77. Obituary here.

It's strange. I feel like a part of my own personal history has left the earth, even though I was barely born at the time she was making her big impact. But it trickled down. My mother plays the guitar, and she used to play Odetta songs all the time when we were growing up. We had her records in the house, beat up, scratchy, and earthy as hell. You could feel the energy of the entire world behind those songs. I knew that Odetta really meant something, as a little kid, although I wasn't sure what. I just knew that my parents loved her, and that we heard her music all the time.

Mitchell went to go see Odetta a couple of years ago at the Old Town School of Folk Music and his stories are wonderful. I will re-tell them here, but I hope he can show up today and tell them himself. It was a rainy day and he went to the concert by himself. There weren't that many people there, folks sitting politely at little tables, clapping, but it wasn't a huge crowd. Odetta, a woman nearly 80 years old, sat up on that stage, glasses perched on her nose, so comfortable in her skin that you felt like you were in the presence of something divine, and sang through all her old songs.

I cannot remember the song in question - was it "This Little Light of Mine", Mitchell? Please remind me. I am pretty sure it was something Christian. Anyway, Odetta looked out at the 20 odd people in her audience and said, "We're going to do this one together ..." She was requiring participation. So there was Mitchell, the Jew, sitting by himself, singing at the top of his lungs about the glory of Christ, as Odetta had requested. I am laughing and crying right now. Mitchell was having the time of his life. But the crowd was small enough that people got shy, people weren't really participating. It was a hesitant group. Mitchell found himself the only one singing along. But Mitchell was like, "What, Odetta's gonna ask me to do something and I'm gonna say No? I will TOTALLY obey Odetta, even if she's making me sing about being washed in the blood of Jesus ... I'm IN. IT'S ODETTA, PEOPLE, get your hands together!"

Odetta stopped the song, and gently asked people again for their participation. She wasn't going to go on if everyone wasn't involved. Fearless, beautiful, inclusive. This time, it worked. The small crowd sitting in that small theatre on that rainy day all joined in, clapping and singing along.

It is true, a "force of nature" was Odetta. What a life. Here's a great photo.

I miss her already.

Pink Martini: "Hey, Eugene"

"Hey Eugene", a song by the band Pink Martini, totally captures a certain kind of experience and environment with such an exactness that it makes me feel like I could have written it. I know I am not alone in that. That exact night hasn't happened to me, but it's close enough!

Not to mention the sad yet comic situation of feeling like you have had a profound experience with a boy and then ... he doesn't call! But the tune of the song is not melancholy (although there may be an undercurrent there - but the main feeling of the song is grooving) - or "oh woe is me" ... It's kind of sexy and chatty and there's a breathlessness to it, like the narrator of the song is trying to remind "Eugene" who she is - member we did that? And member we did that? And member that moment?

Poor Eugene was obviously too drunk to remember much of it. But she keeps trying to jog his memory loose!!

Here are the lyrics to "Hey Eugene":

Hey Eugene do you remember me?
I'm that chick you danced with two times through the Rufus album Friday night at that party
On Avenue "A"
Where your skinhead friend passed out for several hours on the bathroom floor
And you told me
You weren't that drunk, and that I was your favorite Salsa dancer you had ever come across in New York city

Eugene
Eugene
Eugene
I said hello
Eugene
Are you there Eugene

Hey Eugene, then we kissed once we lugged your friend into the elevator and went to write my number on a soggy paper towel
And the car went down
And when we were finished making out we noticed that your skinhead friend was gone. Long gone.
And you looked into my bloodshot eyes and said, "Iis it too soon if I call you Sunday?"

Eugene
Eugene
Eugene
I said hello, Eugene
Are you there, Eugene

I said hello Eugene
Does any of this ring a bell Eugene?

Sigh. Heart-crack.

Pink Martini is a band from Portland, they've been around for years. An interesting mix of people of different backgrounds, with China Forbes as lead vocals - they have had a slow but steady journey. Their group is too largeto play really small venues (and any Youtube clips of them seem to show them playing in huge Hollywood Bowl-type places). They have an entire string section, and bass drums, and cellos and trombones ... Their sound is really cool, sometimes delicate and simple, and then sometimes full-bodied and orchestral. I love them.

Next year, they are playing Carnegie Hall. Gotta put that date on ye olde calendar and see about tickets when the time comes.

And again, I know I'm not the only one to say this - but ... I think I might know Eugene, too! I think I might have even been there that night!

Last year they appeared on David Letterman, performing "Hey Eugene".

Clip below.

Beyonce is a superstar

I post this for Siobhan and Mitchell and Jean and all those huge Beyonce fans out there. Her latest video ("Single Ladies, Put a Ring On It") is addictive (the tune, the beat, and then the video itself) and there are a couple of moments that are goosebump-worthy and I'm not sure why.

I will say this: How wonderful it is to see a dance video that shows THE WHOLE DANCER at all times - not cutting between her body parts to give an impression that dancing is going on, but somehow fearful, a la Flashdance of showing the whole girl at the same time. Beyonce - and her two dancers - are shown in full body throughout, and there are times where it actually feels (to me) like it's done in one take. It's not - but the impression is there: that we are seeing a performance, entirely - what the energy and synchronicity of these girls bring to it is NOT from editing or cutting to give an impression ... it is because they worked their asses off on that dance and are performing it brilliantly. I love the black and white, too, and I love the final seconds of the video, where the sound goes away, the song ends, and you can just hear the heavy breathing of the girls, breathless from the major WORKOUT they just went through.

The whole thing feels real to me, in a way that is so rare these days in filmed dance performance - it feels like a moment of live performance was actually captured by the camera. And there are no distractions either - no change of costume, no swirling lights, no set ... It's kind of old school and looks like it could be on Judy Garland's old television show. Just the stark black dancers against the white background - so all you have to look at is the girls performing.

Well done, all around.

Here's a nice review of it at House Next Door - he says what I wanted to say, just expresses it much better!

Video below the jump:

Another iPod shuffle? Why not. I'm restless.

I had a 4 hour drive today. The shuffle is preserved on the iPod. Hope is happy I am home. She is lying on my pillow, passive-aggressively faced away from me, to show she's not TOO happy to see me.

Long day. Long emotional weekend. Tired. Can't sleep.

The songs from my traffic-ridden drive on the highway:

The Crime of the Century - from the musical Ragtime

Leeds - Indigo Girls

The Jug of Punch - The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem

Ride - Liz Phair

All I Really Want - Alanis Morissette

Bigelow 6-200 - Brenda Lee

Outrageous - Britney Spears (yes, yes, we get it already, Brit, you're outrageous)

Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen

Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

Give Me Your Life - Pat McCurdy

Perfect Young Ladies - from the Broadway musical "The Boyfriend"

Calamari - from the musical "A New Brain"

That's the Way I Remember It - Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines (I was the only person on the planet who loved this album)

Incomplete - Alanis Morissette

Extraordinary Girl - Green Day (this might be my favorite song off the whole amazing album)

Is There Life Out There? - Reba McEntire

Mesmerizing - Liz Phair

Chop Me Up - Justin Timberlake

My Name is Pat (I Play Guitar) - Pat McCurdy

Same Ol' Story - Cyndi Lauper (LOVE IT)

Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

Hotel California - Eagles

Heartache Tonight - Eagles (off the same live album as the song before. Weird.)

My Baby Only Cares For Me - Brian Setzer & His Orchestra

Sway - Dean Martin

I Want You - Elvis Costello

Let It Be Me - Indigo Girls

Mountains of Mourne - The Irish Tenors

Allez-Vous-En - Martha Wainwright

The World That He Sees - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

In Your Honor - Foo Fighters

No One But You - Queen

Poor Little Pierrette - from the Broadway musical "The Boyfriend"

Safety In Numbers - you have got to be kidding me. Also from the Broadway musical "The Boyfriend"

Red Football - Sinead O'Connor (I don't know, it's a tough choice because I love her so much - but this might be my favorite of all of her songs)

New Way Home - Foo Fighters

Tea for the Tillerman - Cat Stevens

Sparkplug Minuet - Mark Mothersbaugh (from the Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack)

Before Me - Pat McCurdy

Take A Look - Liz Phair

Holding My Breath - Hellogoodbye

Firedance - from "Riverdance"

Free Your Mind - En Vogue

It's Never Too Late To Fall In Love - from "The Boyfriend". It's a conspiracy.

I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Gonna Leave You - Queens of the Stone Age

Fare Thee Well - Indigo Girls

Defying Gravity - from the Broadway musical "Wicked"

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens (the piano!!!)

Happy Feet - Manhattan Rhythm Kings (from The Aviator soundtrack)

Little People - from "Les Miz"

Mr. Bojangles - Nina Simone (brilliant!!)

Take a Chance On Me - from the movie Mamma Mia

Meathook - Tracy Bonham

Mama Said - Metallica (from "Load" - an album I love, much to the chagrin of another brand of Metallica fans)

Soldier Boy - The Shirelles

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

Finale - End Credits - from the movie "A Star Is Born"

Justice - from the Broadway musical "Ragtime"

John Henry - Bruce Springsteen

Get Out the Map - Indigo Girls

I Can't Give You Anything But Love - Rufus Wainwright

Rock and Roll - Led Zeppelin

Colonel Fraser - Jerry O'Sullivan

Three Babies - Sinead O'Connor

Shitloads of Money - Liz Phair

Unconscious - Pat McCurdy

Somebody Else For a While - Pat McCurdy (LEAVE ME ALONE PAT MCCURDY)

When I Hold You In My Arms - Mike Viola

Mule Skinner Blues - Dolly Parton

Angie - Tori Amos

Baba - Alanis Morissette

Sharks Can't Sleep - Tracy Bonham

My Hero - Foo Fighters

Johnny Sunshine - Liz Phair

Seventy-Five Septembers - Cheryl Wheeler

The Only One - Evanescence

So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright - Simon & Garfunkel

Music - Madonna

I've Got Life - Nina Simone (thank you Mitchell!!)

All Over the World - ELO

All Because Of You - U2

Lindbergh Palace Hotel Suite - Mark Mothersbaugh (from The Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack)

Royalty in Exile - Pat McCurdy (argh!!!)

Turn to Stone - ELO

Disenchanted Lullaby - Foo Fighters

Prologue - ELO (what the hell with the ELO??)

Lonely Summer Nights - Stray Cats

Heaven on Earth - Britney Spears (great song)

You Don't Have to Believe Me - Eric Hutchinson

Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake (I mean, come on, does it get any better)

Empty Sky - Bruce Springsteen

Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Completely Blue - Pat McCurdy (the universe is against me)

Ya Had Me Goin - L.E.O.

Van Lear Rose - Loretta Lynn (thank you Mitchell!!)

Another Woman's Man - Joe Tex

John Henry - Bob Gibson

Tonite - The Go-Gos

Give Me a Sign - Dean Martin

You Don't Know What It's Like - Nina Simone

Heaven On their Minds - Judas (from the movie "Jesus Christ Superstar" - I looooove this song)

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy - The Andrews Sisters

Richard Cory - Simon & Garfunkel

One Of Those Girls - Avril Lavigne

The Sky Is Crying - Stevie Ray Vaughan

Next Time / I Wouldn't Go Back - from the musical "Closer Than Ever" (the 30something of musicals)

Luck In My Eyes - kd lang

I've Been To a Marvellous Party - The Divine Comedy (love him. Guess who gave me this album? PAT MCCURDY. ARGH! He is omnipresent)

My Immortal - Evanescence

Master Crowley's / The Jug of Punch - Joe Burke

Wish Lizst (Toy Shop Madness) - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Magic - Yipes! (Yipes was the first band of a certain gentleman named Pat McCurdy. ARGH!)

Darlene - The Dreams

Just You, Just Me - Judy Garland

Little Cream Soda - The White Stripes (love love love this song)

Polyester Bride - Liz Phair

I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick

Tough Life - Pat McCurdy (say no more. Yes, I have about 500 of his songs on my iPod. It makes Shuffle a ridiculous event.)

Let Me Be There - Olivia Newton-John

Walk This Way - Aerosmith

The American and Florence - from the musical "Chess"

In Pursuit of Happiness - The Divine Comedy

A Sleepin' Bee - Barbra Streisand (never gets old)

That Thing You Do - The Wonders (from the movie "That Thing You Do")

Baby Yes It Does - Nina Simone

Circus - Lenny Kravitz

Something Beautiful - Tracy Bonham

Jolene - Dolly Parton

In the Chapel in the Moonlight - Dean Martin

NYC - from the movie Annie (with Victor Garber and Audra McDonald)

Bells on a Leper - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers

Miss Byrd - Sally Mayes (also from "Closer than Ever")

The Other Guy - Little River Band

C*m on Everybody - Eminem

This Land Is Your Land - Pete Seeger (having Pete Seeger follow Eminem is the #1 joy of shuffle)

Fall Back Down - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers

Let the River Run - Alexandra Billings

Going Through the Big D - Mark Chesnutt

Damn Girl - Justin Timberlake

Falling in love (is Hard On the Knees) - by the ever-florid Aerosmith

The Whole Shebang - Grant Lee Buffalo

Dumb - Nirvana

The Main Event - Barbra Streisand

Wicked Little Town - John Cameron Mitchell from Hedwig and the Angry Inch

World Without you - Beth Hart

Both Sides Now - Dolly Parton with Judy Collins (I like this version better than the original - wonderful!!)

Stranger In a Strange Town - Pat McCurdy (that's it. I'm going to throw myself off a cliff. Buh-bye.)

Finale - from 1776, Broadway musical (goosebumps!!)

Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin

A day of iPod shuffle

I've done this before on days when, for whatever reason, I've been listening to the iPod all day. Waiting in line, at the gym, on the bus, etc. Kept note of the songs that came up on Shuffle. I know. It's FASCINATING, I'm sure - absolutely RIVETING. But with my Top 25 Most Played post - it was really interesting to see other people's playlists! He got to me from my friend Patrick's site - and it was so fun that he played along (and his comments made me laugh out loud - his little "wtf" note - hahaha) I think music and someone's collection is really revealing as to who they are. I mean, isn't that the whole point of the movie High Fidelity? That these things - books, music, movies - really matter? That they are NOT just surface things - but true aspects of someone's character. I totally believe that. Not to say that my propensity for Ashlee Simpson should in any way reveal the true aspects of my character, but I still think it's interesting. I've been jotting down notes all day. Also I have over 4000 songs in my Library but it's weird how it seems like the same people keep showing up. Eventually, if I listened to the damn thing for 2 weeks straight, all the artists would show up ... but anyway ...

Here goes.

Black Horse and Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall

All My Days - Alexi Murdoch (my new favorite song at the moment)

We Shall Overcome - Peter, Paul and Mary (I am not even kidding! I prefer Mahalia Jackson's version, and Pete Seeger's version to this one - but hey, this is a SHUFFLE, so this is what came up.)

Standin in the Rain - ELO

'97 Bonnie and Clyde - Eminem (you know Eminem. Always good for a laugh.)

I Love New York - Madonna (my favorite song off of Confessions on the Dance Floor)

That's When I Crash - Bleu (my new favorite musician)

Night In the City - ELO

Dance 2night - Madonna

The Thing That Should Not Be - Metallica

Torch - Alanis Morrissette

Orchid - Alanis Morrissette (weird. The repetition. Shuffle is weird that way.)

Walking In Your Footsteps - The Police (seriously, this song is such a time-traveler - I hear it and just remember that summer this album came out ... I am transported back in time!)

Come Sail Away - Styx (this song always makes me think now of Alex - whose version of this song is kick-ass - I actually prefer it to Styx's)

Bad Meets Evil - Eminem (I have noticed that my iPod has a crush on two things - Eminem and the soundtrack to the Broadway show Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. It makes no sense.)

Outside Villanova - Eric Hutchinson (thank you, Siobhan, for turning me on to him. I love him!)

All Over Now - Eric Hutchinson (WTF? Two in a row?)

Thank You For The Music - Amanda Seyfried (from The Mamma Mia soundtrack)

Hot Patootie / Bless My Soul (Meatloaf - from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. AWESOME.)

Like It Or Not - Madonna

Walking the Blues - Jack Dupree & Mr. Bear (from one of my favorite compilation albums: Rhythm & Blues 1952 - 1959)

Misery - Green Day (this song reminds me a lot of Pat McCurdy's song "We Made Love", a song I know all too well.)

In Praise Of the Vulnerable Man - Alanis Morrissette (I really like the tune to this song. I'm off and on with Alanis - but I really like this song.)

Going Back to Orleans - Jesse & Buzzy (from another compilation album I love: Stompin' at the Savoy 1955 - 1961)

Johnny Has Gone - Varetta Dillard (more Stompin' at the Savoy!)

Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford (hell yes!)

Murder - Ashlee Simpson (sorry. I like her.)

Rent - from the Broadway soundtrack "Rent" (you know, I like a lot of the music but I have to admit, I hear this song - as rockin' as it is - and I think to myself, "You boys ask, 'How we gonna pay last year's rent'? Uhm, you get a fucking job like the rest of us.")

Time Warp - Rocky Horror (I seriously see my entire life flash before my eyes when I hear this song.)

Let's Make Love Tonight - Earl Williams

Why Did You Make Me Cry? - The Cubs (can you tell I love that era of music??)

This Land Is Your Land (live) - Pete Seeger (goosebumps)

I Will Never Let You Go - Jackie Greene (love him)

Super Trouper - Meryl Streep, Julie Walters & Christine Baranski (from the Mamma Mia soundtrack)

Good Morning - Lenny Kravitz (speak of the devil ...)

Do What You Want - Ok Go (along with Bleu, my new favorite group)

It Hasn't Been Long Enough - Eric Hutchinson (okay, so my iPod has a crush on him too apparently)

Don't Cry Baby - Little Jimmy Scott (awesome makeout song)

Sing! Sing! Sing! - Gene Krupa and his orchestra

Tuxedo Junction - Glenn Miller and his orchestra

Coming Back to You - Jennifer Warnes

Stop, Don't Go - Annie Laurie (more "Stompin' at the Savoy")

Mary - Tori Amos

Don't Let It Go - L.E.O. (a sort of joke, started by Mike Viola, Bleu and Andy Sturmer - from Jellyfish - a tribute to ELO ... BRILLIANT.)

Nobody - Sammy Cotton

Shake Me Up, Baby - Little Terry

Oxford Town - Bob Dylan

Searchin' for the Satellites - Bleu

1000 Miles Per Hour - Ok Go (how i love this song)

Mary's Place - Bruce Springsteen

So Long, Dearie - Barbra Streisand from "Hello, Dolly"

Good Woman's Love - New Grass Revival (this album always makes me think of my first boyfriend. We were huge Bela Fleck fans, saw him live a couple of times)

Rockabilly Christmas - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (I have no explanation ...)

Hello Dolly - cast of the movie Hello Dolly (okay, iPod, that's enough ... I love it, though. Babs bellowing, "I HEAR THEM TINKLE ... I SEE THEM TWINKLE ..." hysterical)

Wednesday - Tori Amos (she's been kind of ... off for me ... for the last 10 years or so ... but I love this one.)

Jungle - ELO (I enjoy running on the treadmill to this one. Please don't ask why. There are many mysteries in life and a woman's heart is deep as the ocean.)

Cyanide - Metallic (from their latest - which I love - and I am so happy about it!)

Fumiyaki - Bleu (my iPod has a conspiracy going on for playing as much Bleu as possible ...)

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson (talk about a time-traveling song!)

It's All Your Fault - Pink (from her latest. I think she has the best voice out there at this moment in time. A perfect rock and roll voice)

Baby I Apologize - ELO

On Any Other Day - The Police (from Regatta de Blanc, my favorite of their albums)

Should I Ever Love Again - Wynona Carr (L0VE HER.)

Fuzzy - Bleu (the conspiracy continues ...)

Rock Bottom - Eminem

One of the Boys - Katy Perry (iPod shuffle helps me keep it real ...)

In the Mood - The Puppini Sisters

What Goes Around / Comes Around - Justin Timberlake

Private Line - L.E.O.

So Much Better - Mike Viola - (this song KILLS ME. It's almost too much. Lyrics here:

You look so much better now that you have found her
So much better with your arms around her
In a world that's all your own
Never spend another night alone

You look so much better with the past behind you
So much better when she sits beside you
Every word is understood
Never knew that you could feel this good

You look so much better
You look so much better
You look so much better

You look so much better in the clothes she gives ya
So much better when you're dancing with her
Every move is crystal clear
From the moment she appeared

You look so much better now that you have found her
So much better with your arms around her
In a world that's all your own
Never spend another night alone

WEEP.

Incomplete - Alanis Morrissette (it's okay, Alanis, everything's going to be okay ...)

Trickle Trickle - The Manhattan Transfer (this album of theirs IS college to me)

Aquarius / Let the sun shine - The Fifth Dimension (I have so many memories wrapped up in this song ... and now I can add the brilliant closing moments of 40 Year Old Virgin to that!)

Nobody But Jesus - Wynona Carr (did I mention that I LOVE HER??)

Here's Love - the big production number from the musical of the same name (written by Meredith Wilson, mainly known as the composer for The Music Man)

World Without You - Beth Hart (just check her out. I beg you.)

I'm No Giant - Tracy Bonham (she's so intense. I adore her.)

Hello Mr. Zebra - Tori Amos (this song feels like it ends before it should end. I want more, Tori. Stop being such a tease!)

Weather Man - Wynona Carr (LOVE HER. This song makes me want to go to church immediately.)

Anna Mae - Brownie McGhee (we're back to the Savoy!)

Forgive Me Baby - the Henry Hayes Orchestra

Guilty Conscience - Eminem (brilliant)

K.C. Loving - Little Willie Littlefield

Hot Stuff - Ashlee Simpson (SO DUMB. I love it.)

Rib Joint - Sammy Price

The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson

What To Do - Ok Go

All Nightmare Long - Metallica

Let It Will Be - Madonna

Snowman in Tompkins Park - Mike Viola (nobody does heartache like him)

Bliss - Tori Amos

Birmingham Blues - ELO

The Rising - Bruce Springsteen (goosebumps, tears, every time I hear this song - with its slow and powerful build)

Half-Breed - Cher (I mean, honestly. Does it get any better?)

Soldier Boy - The Shirelles

Gimme Gimme Gimme - Amanda Seyfried (from the Mamma Mia soundtrack)

Your World Turns Upside Down - Tracy Bonham

Amy Amy Amy - Amy Winehouse (she's so awesome)

Lord Jesus - the great Wynona Carr

I Let Her Get Away - The Candybutchers

Dark Lady - Cher ("She told me more about me than I knew myself ..." Did she, Cher? Did she really?)

Connection - Elastika (this song IS grad school for me).

The Night Dolly Parton Was Almost Mine - sweet song from the Pump Boys and Dinettes Broadway soundtrack

Future Sex / Love Sound - Justin Timberlake

Voulez Vous - cast of Mamma Mia

Jump - Madonna

So What - Pink (one of the best "nyah nyah nyah" songs I've ever heard)

Angry Dance - from the Billy Elliot soundtrack. My friend Caitlin, proud cousin of Trent Kowalik, one of the kids soon to be appearing as Billy on Broadway, will be happy.

You Know, I Know, You Know - Bleu (okay, okay, we get it, you like Bleu, iPod. So do I)

Not Ready To Make Nice - The Dixie Chicks

The Ol' College Try - L.E.O. (this song tells my whole college experience it seems)

Lost - Katy Perry

La Vie Boheme - from Rent - okay, you know what, guys? If you order something in a restaurant, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT and it's not because "the man" is crushing you down but because IT'S NOT YOURS AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. Sigh. I actually LOVE this song, but the sentiment?? GROW UP. I feel like an old crotchety man who grew up in the Depression. GET A JOB, LOSERS! (although any song that sings the praises of Vaclav Havel, one of my idols, is, I suppose, okay by me.) GET A JOB, SLACKERS.

15 Rounds for Jesus - Wynona Carr (OFF TO CHURCH IMMEDIATELY)

Any Place I Hang My Hat Is Home - Audra McDonald

Whenever You're Away From Me - Gene Kelly & Olivia Newton John from Xanadu (Mere, this will always make me think of the two of us doing that crazy tap-dance duet in our movie - I was wearing a Santa hat, and you were wearing your mirrored sunglasses. Andrea and Todd: in love forever!)

Angie - The Rolling Stones. (I seem to recall having some earthquake-inducing makeout shenanigan with Michael at the elf house in Ithaca while this song was playing. It's kind of a slow melancholy song but we went insane and the room looked like a crime had been committed there when the whole thing was done. Then we went out and had Ben & Jerry's and got in a fight about how I hesitated while crossing the street.)

In My Other Life - Tracy Bonham

Make No Mistake - The Candy Butchers

I Don't Know Why - Shawn Colvin (for many years this song was too painful for me to listen to. One of the great things about now being so bitter is that I am able to enjoy this song.)

My Fault - Eminem

Just Leave Everything To Me - Barbra Streisand from Hello Dolly - "Don't be ashamed, girls, life is full of secrets AND I KEEP 'EM!"

My Prerogative - Bobby Brown

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Brian Setzer and his Orchestra

Girly Worm - Mike Viola (love him for referencing JD Salinger's "Perfect Day for Bananafish" in this song!)

Get Over It - Ok Go

Please Mr. Jailer - Wynona Carr (HAWT)

Hung Up - Madonna. (That's it. Madge has won. I'm joining the Kabbalah.)

Love, Love, Love - Lenny Kravitz

My Boy Flat Top - Boyd Bennett & His Rockets

You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker (speaking of my new boyfriend ...)

You Lied - Green Day

Boy From New York City - Manhattan Transfer

Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me - Susan Sarandon, Rocky Horror Picture Show

Don't Stand So Close To Me - The Police (I have a really really good and true story about this song, from a first-hand source. But I'll never tell.)

Rockin' Me - The Steve Miller Band

Outta My Way - Skeletons (Kate, didn't we have some stupid joke about them? Shouting in this weird uptight voice: "SKELETONS"?? What the hell??)

Heebie Jeebies - The Puppini Sisters

Dig Me Out - the great Sleater Kinney

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens

Another Woman's Man - Joe Tex

Black Cat - Janet Jackson

Somebody Told Me - The Killers

Amber Waves - Tori Amos

That Ain't Right - Jimmy Crawford

Womanizer - Britney Spears' latest single. Good work, Brit-Brit - hang in there!

Honky Tonk Caboose - Sammy Price

You Talk Too Much - Joe Jones

I Want You To Want Me - Cheap Trick

Get Together - Madonna (I now have a red thread around my wrist. Put a fork in me.)

Hot Rod - Hal Singer & his Orchestra

Give It 2 Me - Madonna (OHMYGOD what do you want from me? My name is now Esther. Are you happy?)

Proud Mary - Ike & Tina Turner

Take the Money and Run - Steve Miller Band

Broken, Beat & Scared - Metallic (with a title like that you know it's a real feel-good song)

I Only Want To Be With You - Bay City Rollers (excuse me? I have no memory of purchasing or even owning this song)

Bungle in the Jungle - Jethro Tull

Lifetime - Beth Hart

I Can Make You a Man - Tim Curry, from Rocky Horror

Chop Chop Ching-a-Ling - The Roamers

Runaway - Del Shannon (I was clearly born in the wrong era).

Honey, Allow Me Just One More Chance - Bob Dylan

Teenage Brain Surgeon - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Happy place

It's been a while since I've added to my "Happy Place" category. I like scrolling through that category from time to time. I find its eclectic nature kind of relaxing. It's bizarre, when looked at as a whole - from Freddie Mercury to Degas to Sam the Eagle to Dean Stockwell, but I really enjoy it. So it's been a while since my last entry. Too long. Today, it's time to break the fast and post some pictures of a long-time "happy place" for me.

Although, in this particular case, I have to be frank and say that "happy" is a euphemism for ... something else. Rowr.

I love his music, too, but this just flat out hurts.

"Purple Rain" redux

My brother Brendan, among his many talents and being a great dad, is also a fantastic writer.

He is writing a series of essays on his blog now about great albums. It has been so so fun to watch what he picks, and what he has to say about it.

His latest is on Prince's Purple Rain and his writing gave me chills. It also made me want to put on Purple Rain immediately to listen to it again. (That was one of those albums which I pretty much listened to DEATH back then. I rarely listen to it now. Perhaps it's time for a resurgence).

People can, of course, get very personal about the music they love - and Brendan is one of the most passionate music fans I know. I had him write an essay about the first time he heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in France - he had told me that story so many times, and it's just so exciting to me.

Anyway - please go read Bren's essay on Purple Rain ! It brought back SO many memories!!

"Top 25 Most Played Songs"

The best thing about the iPod playlist "Top 25 Most Played" is that you can't hide who you are when you look at it. All is revealed. You may wish you were the kind of person who listened to Igor Stravinsky enough that he would show up on your Top 25 Most Played - but unless you are, organically, the kind of person who listens to Stravinsky on a daily basis - he will not be in your Top 25 Most Played. If you want your music to give off some kind of specific impression meant to impress others - if you want someone to think you're cool, or eclectic, or deep, or if you scoff at music made by 'the man' - if any of these things are an issue for you, then don't let anyone look at your Top 25 Most Played. Just keep it under wraps. If you're not comfortable with people knowing that you listen to "Day Dream Believah" so often that it makes it into your Top 25, then I suggest just not mentioning it. The Top 25 Most Played playlist never lies. It shows you to yourself. It can surprise you.

In the interest of full disclosure - here is my utterly bizarre (and quite revealing) Top 25 Most Played.

I'm kind of amazed that there isn't more Foo Fighters or Eminem on there ... but I guess not. The Top 25 Most Played DOES NOT LIE.

So here it is, here I am, in my unvarnished glory:

(Also, in your iTunes Library you can see how many times each song has been played in your library ... and I will go even further with my revelations today and say that: my #1 song - in terms of times-played - is so far beyond every other song numerically that I don't know if other music could ever catch up. Maybe someday I'll try to figure out why I listened to that song on an endless loop for a good month and a half, but not right now. I will say that it was NOT because it was Christmastime, and it had to something to do with one of my ex-es Michael - but I am honestly not sure what, exactly.)

Anyway, here is my list:

SHEILA'S TOP 25 MOST PLAYED SONGS ON IPOD IN DESCENDING NUMERICAL ORDER:

25. "Dead!" - My Chemical Romance
24. "Son of Sam" - Elliot Smith
23. "A Woman Wouldn't Be A Woman" - Eartha Kitt
22. "Rock Me" - Liz Phair
21. "Keep The Customer Satisfied" - Simon & Garfunkel
20. "I Don't Know What It Is" - Rufus Wainright
19. "Big Wheel" - Tori Amos
18. "Too Much Love Will Kill You" - Queen
17. "Heaven on Earth" - Britney Spears
16. "SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake
15. "It is Love" - Hellogoodbye
14. "21 Things I Want In a Lover" - Alanis Morissette
13. "Christmas Is the Time to Say I love You" - SR-71
12. "My Prerogative" - Britney Spears' cover of the Bobby Brown classic
11. "Cream" - Prince
10. "Aint That a Kick In the Head" - Dean Martin (speaking of which ...)
9. "Stars and Planets" - Liz Phair
8. "Gimme More" - Britney Spears
7. "Mr. Blue Sky" - ELO
6. "Les Champs-Elysees" - Joe Dassin
5. "Beale St. Blues" - Eartha Kitt
4. "A Little More Love" - Olivia Newton-John
3. "Kashmir" - Led Zeppelin
2. "Enter Sandman" - Metallica
1. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey

UPDATE: It occurs to me that songs can be grouped into constants and time-and-place songs.

For example, "Enter Sandman" and "Cream" are constants and kind of have been ever since I first heard them in the dark dawn age of time.

But other songs on the list signify to me a specific time and place and for whatever reason - my mood dictated me to that song and that song alone.

A couple of observations:

"It is Love" and "Beale St. Blues" will always remind me of going to Taos to stalk and meet Dean Stockwell. Those songs were in constant rotation. Happy sexy songs, I think.

"Les Champs-Elysees" is the song that plays over the final credits in Darjeeling LImited and it pulled my heart up out of my chest the first time I heard it - so powerfully - that I couldn't even wait to get home and go to iTunes to find it. I had to stop off at a music store and buy the entire soundtrack IMMEDIATELY upon exiting the theatre. The song still transports me ... but there was a time there when i was so into it that I made an entire playlist of just that song so that I wouldn't have to keep pressing "Rewind".

"Mr. Blue Sky" is what I turn on when I need to escape the world a little bit and enter my favorite fantasy which no, I will not share. But "Mr. Blue Sky" is a big part of it. I don't even need to work to get into the mood, when I hear the song, I "go there". My entire fantasy pops up around me, three-dimensional. Which is a little bit scary because a commercial is using "Mr. Blue Sky" right now, so if I hear it out in public I have a Pavlovian response.

And like I mentioned: Mariah Carey's modern Christmas classic was (and I'm baffled by it, it makes no sense) the song I turned to a couple of autumns ago, after Michael left (after staying with me) and I was all worked up. Sometimes I listened to the song and wept. Sometimes I listened to it and laughed. I would zone OUT when it was on ... and I have to say that that is still true. But in the month after his visit - it was all Mariah all the time. To such a degree that she has been #1 in the Top 25 Most Played ever since. No one will ever be able to catch up. I think Michael would guffaw, knowing that I turned to THAT song after his departure. He'd be like, Sheila ... WHAT???

Don't knock it if it works.

Judy Garland: "Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Judy fans will know immediately what clip I have posted below - will know the year, the circumstances ... Mitchell was the one who first showed me this clip, years ago, and he actually made me watch it once with the sound down, just so he could show me how eloquent and simple she was in her gestures and singing expression ... There are moments when (if you watch it with the sound down) - you could almost believe that she was just speaking. Hard to imagine any of the young singers who contort their faces to get the sound out today being so quiet and simple and at ease with their own instrument.

The clip speaks for itself.

It's one of the most moving things I have ever seen, and I can only imagine what it was like to be there live. Garland was one of those rare singers who could fill up with emotion as she sang - without the throat constricting. It's remarkable, and I would imagine it was a mix of a gift of flexible and strong vocal cords - as well as an act of will. She will get the song out.

Here ... her sense of will ... takes on an almost life-or-death intensity which makes it difficult to watch at times. She is struggling against so much - her own emotion, the free-floating emotion that had to be present in the audience at that time, and the larger national sense of grief and loss ... But she keeps going.

It will not change the world. She is not a statesman. She is not a Nobel Peace winner. She is not a diplomat, an ambassador, a senator, or poet laureate. She is a singer. So in such a moment ... there is only one thing she can possibly contribute. A song.

Thank God it was on live television so that we can still watch it now.

I am in awe. I am also struck by how awkward she is, physically, and how much that works for her. Her gestures are sharp, choppy - she randomly hugs herself - flings her arm in the air ... and none of it feels planned. It's almost scary (but I know I am only saying that because we know how overly managed most singers are today ... they have TEAMS of people to make sure they never look awkward and to hide those "flaws" that actually might make them brilliant and original). Garland is not doing anything here - except living that song - and pouring her emotion into her voice and letting it out. The gestures were all from her heart - completely her own - and give the performance a ragged realism which still, after so many times watching it, has the potential to shock me.

(Alex has some more thoughts here.)

3 songs that really upset me as a child

These songs haunted me. I couldn't let it go. I kept going back to them in my mind, over and over, asking the same questions, trying to find a loophole in the lyrics ... Maybe THIS time the song won't end the same way ... maybe I can find the way out to a different ending.

-- the song "You take the low road and I'll take the high road ..." I never listened to it without feeling an ache in my heart and without trying to talk TO the song, and ask it why it had to be that way. I always just wanted to intervene and say, 'No, no, can't you BOTH take the low road, you and your true love? So you don't have to separate?" A small 7 year old intervention. The song really upset me, and I kept trying to negotiate with the song itself ... trying to figure out a way for the lovers to stay together

-- Little Jackie Paper's betrayal (that's how I saw it) and the last moment when Puff the Magic Dragon crawled into the cave. Can't even talk about it. To this day.

-- John Henry and his hammer. I learned that song in 2nd grade, I think there was even a picture book, and I remember the illustrations - particularly one very dark one, which showed John Henry - in the tunnel - swinging his hammer ... and I knew he was a big strong man but the illustration made him look very small, in the distance, coming through with his hammer. I hated that he died and it seemed so unfair, I remember sitting at my little desk in 2nd grade in a total funk about it. There was a line in the song about how his heart gave out - he had worked so hard - and it just made me sick to think about. It was another song where I wanted to intervene. I wanted to run through the tunnel in my little Keds sneakers, and drag John Henry out by the hand before his heart gave out. Not fair. Learning the lyrics to that song ruined my day. I still have a strong reaction to that song (which now comes up on my iPod all the time, thanks to Bruce Springsteen) and part of it is because of how upset it made me when I was in 2nd grade.

Everything is Everything

Wonderful thoughtful review of Lauryn Hill's first and only solo album "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill", which was certainly one of my favorite albums in the last 10 years. I'll never forget watching her break down into tears during a performance on MTV Unplugged. It was gripping ... but it wasn't supposed to happen. It reminded me of that infamous blurry concert footage of a grown Judy Garland dressed up in the tramp outfit trying to get through "Over the Rainbow" and you truly feel that she won't make it through. You also feel (or at least I did): "Wow. I hope she's going to be all right." The feeling that comes up in the performer is so raw and unbidden that you definitely feel like: I probably shouldn't be watching this.

What's most remarkable, in retrospect, as the cult of Lauryn Hill grows stronger (sporadic concert appearances becoming the stuff of myth) is how slight some of her songs are on record. For being almost 80 minutes long, Miseducation is a surprisingly easy listen, coasting mostly on Hill's simple repetition of phrases to emphasize a mood. By album's end, a cover of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" (with beatboxing) seems obligatory but still a part of what she does best: Like Amy Winehouse, Hill gets at the heart of '60s soul while slyly turning it into her own postmodern art project. The album's simple authenticity is one of its strengths, turning backup vocals into rap refrains and stripping bare much of soul music's bullshit. She casually tosses off lines like "C'mon, baby, light my fire" on "Superstar" with the awareness of someone who also knows how little those words can mean.

A beautiful article about a wonderful album.

Video of "Everything is Everything" below (which came out when I still, you know, cared about videos). Love this song.

The moonpath, and Justin Timberlake's awesomeness ...

Mitchell, Rachel and I sat on the sea wall last night, and the ocean was as flat as a lake. There was a full moon and the glimmering path of white in the water stunned us. If only I could have followed that path. A yacht lay anchored out a bit, close to the sea wall ... I've never seen one so close ... normally that area is much more rough ... and off in the distance we could see the lights of the Newport Bridge glowing. We had gone out to dinner, we went and got some homemade ice cream, and then we sat and talked ... about Mitchell's trip, about my writing, about horrible bug stories (prompted by Alex's recent apocalyptic struggle with a grasshopper) and about Rachel's most recent adventure in the employ of Justin Timberlake.

Rachel is a humble person, so I hope I'm not embarrassing her too much but here goes: any time Justin Timberlake has to do anything, host an awards show, show up and blab, Rachel is called in to help write the material. JT loves her and she has written a ton of stuff for him so far. We loved hearing all the INSANE stories about Rachel's recent experience writing the material for the ESPY's, which Timberlake hosted. INSANE. The project was a hydra, in many ways - a multi-headed beast - and it was also a beast with many masters. The folks at ESPN, the producers, the athletes themselves, and Justin Timberlake.

One of my favorite parts of the story was Rachel saying, "At one point, we realized that we needed a breakaway tuxedo, and a copy of Matlock and Debbie Does Dallas." The randomness of it. So off someone was sent ... to create a breakaway tuxedo, and someone else was sent off to track down copies of Matlock and Debbie Does Dallas. hahahaha Mitchell said to her, "I swear to God, if you say 'breakaway tuxedo' one more time ..."

Mitchell's analysis of what it was that is so great about the "I Love Sports" number which was the big production number at the ESPY's (written by Rachel and her writing colleagues) ... will be left for another post. Needless to say, I completely agree with him ... about the entertainment value of the number, and how the whole variety-show entertainer aesthetic is pretty much dead in American culture - due to a fear of seeming cheesy, perhaps? - but once upon a time, we had entertainers like Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin who knew how to handle themselves as entertainers. And Justin Timberlake does, too.

Watch him in the number. This is a hard number. He had a week to learn all those lyrics. And the dance moves. And "making it work". It looks effortless.

So he deserves the kudos, obviously ... and he also deserves the kudos because he's nice to my friend, he's a hard worker, he takes advice, and he treats her well. If it's a challenge? Justin Timberlake wants to do it. But I'm biased. I think RACHEL deserves the kudos, too. Brava!!! She was responsible for a couple of the best "bits" in the number ... but I won't point out which ones, since this was also a group effort. But if something seems to really "pop", that seems really funny? It's probably Rachel's idea.

LOVE. IT. Old-school. It's old-school variety-show entertainment.

Enjoy! (If you haven't seen it already) ...

"In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum"

Eminem's another guy I want to write more about. Thankfully, Cara - of former RTG fame - has done some of it FOR me. Amen, sister, you're preachin' to the choir. His performance in 8 Mile is a revelation - but at the time it came out, I remember thinking, "I'm not at ALL surprised at how good he is. Of course he is." The Slim Shady LP and the Marshall Mathers LP still have the power to knock me on my ass. I find new things in them all the time. In "My Fault" (or as I think of it: the "never meant to give you mushrooms girl" song) ... what strikes me now is Eminem starting to sob at the end of it, how he didn't mean it, how sorry he is ... I don't know why I missed that moment before. I was too swept away in other elements of the song, but his freakout at the end is what stays with me now. It is real. He is sobbing hysterically. And all of the snarky "whoops!!" jokey tone of the rest of the song flies out the window. He always does that: performs a jujitsu move after something particularly offensive ("I'm just playin', ladies ... You know I love you ...") and to hear him start to freak out - you can see him, you can literally see him hovered over his girlfriend who has ODd, and he's panicked, he's sobbing ... and the song fades out on that sound, Eminem sobbing how sorry he is. Truth? Sincerity? Who cares? It gets me.

I fluctuate on which song on Eminem Show I like best. I KNOW it's not Track 9. Dear Eminem, why oh why did you include Track 9? I know I covered this before, dear Marshall, so forgive the repetition. I don't think many albums are perfect ... there are only a couple I would give that label - Fleetwood Mac's Rumors is the first one that comes to mind ... but I do believe that Eminem Show would be what I would call a perfect album without that damn Track 9!! I know there are those who disagree ... and I wish, how I wish, I could love that track. Just so I could succumb to the perfection. Anyway.

The song I think that has the most long-lasting impact for me, from that great album, is "Sing For the Moment" (the one that samples Aerosmith's "Dream On" so brilliantly). It's an anthem. I think, too, it's one of the reasons why he is so beloved ... not just admired and feared and grooved to. The kids love him. Because he talks right to them. He sees them. He knows what they're going through. He was there, too. He remembers.

These ideas are nightmares to white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows
no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care
He's a problem child
And what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about
His fuckin' dad walkin' out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back
Talkin' black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap
His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose
His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just lets his emotions
go...

{C'mon}, sing with me, {sing}, sing for the years
{Sing it}, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away...

Entertainment is changin', intertwinin' with gangsta's
In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum
Holy or unholy, only have one homie
Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me
Yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess words are a
mothafucka they can be great
Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate
It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make
Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum
Now how the fuck did this metamorphosis happen
From standin' on corners and porches just rappin'
To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ass
But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you
Fans turn on you, attorneys all want a turn at you
To get they hands on every dime you have, they want you to lose your mind
every time you mad
So they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon
Any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns
That's why these prosecutors wanna convict me, strictly just to get me off
of these streets quickly
But all they kids be listenin' to me religiously, so i'm signin' cd's while
police fingerprint me
They're for the judge's daughter but his grudge is against me
If i'm such a fuckin' menace, this shit doesn't make sense Pete
It's all political, if my music is literal, and i'm a criminal how the fuck
can I raise a little girl
I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to, you're full of shit too, Guerrera, that
was a fist that hit you...

{C'mon}, sing with me, {sing}, sing for the years
{Sing it}, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away...

They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the shit's cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the shit's affectin' our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail
It's fucked up ain't it
How we can come from practically nothing to being able to have any fuckin'
thing that we wanted
That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing
Except for a dream, and a fuckin' rap magazine
Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long
Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives
Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die
Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe
We're nothin' to you but we're the fuckin' shit in they eyes
That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and
hold it
Cause we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our
songs and we can...

Sing with me, {sing}, sing for the years
{Sing it}, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away...

Yeah ... so? He's on my bulletin board. So is Dean Stockwell. You gotta problem with that??

Video clip below:

Marshall: come back! Whenever you decide to come back, the entire O'Malley clan - all 45 cousins - all HUGE fans of yours - will be waiting!

"I thought to put together heavy metal music and a Capucin friar was strange, to say the least."

An Italian Capucin monk went to a Metallica concert 15 years ago and his life was forever changed. He is still a Capucin monk, only now he is also the lead singer in an Italian heavy metal band. The quote in the subject line is from one of his band-mates.

The monk says: "I am religious. I am a priest. But I don't play to draw people closer to Christ, or the church, or to religion. I do it to convert people to life."

Rock on, friar.

Clip below the jump.

(Thanks for pointing to this, Ernie.)

Musical Meme

I've been tagged by the lovely Ilyka ... and it's a hot day and I have already lived about 24 hours in the mere 6 hours I have been awake today (I've been to Target and back) ... so what the heck. I'll do the meme.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

SORRY MEME but I'm going to do 10 songs. Because that's how I roll.

"One of the Boys" - Katy Perry. I'm in a bit of an OCD stage with this song right now, pressing Play over and over again.

"I Want You To Want Me" - Cheap Trick. I'm just suddenly so into this song. Can't get enough.

"Jump Jack Jump" - Wynona Carr. She is sooo yummy.

"Get Up" - Bleu. An absolute goosebump-raising song. Meant to be BLASTED as you careen along River Road on a summer twilight. The volume cannot be high enough for this song.

"Paint It Black" - Rolling Stones. Come on. Give it up. Brilliant song. I've always loved it, but right now it's on eternal Replay. It reminds me of making out with Michael and knocking over furniture and all that crap.

"I Can't Believe I'm Not a Millionaire" - Puppini Sisters. Harmony, witty lyrics ("I had a Poptart instead ..."), great vocals ... As of this moment, this song is my favorite of theirs.

"Make You Feel My Love" - Bob Dylan. I have to be careful about when I listen to this song. I don't just pop it on ... I need to be in the right space, willing to be introspective, and willing to have a little crying jag, if necessary. It kills me. The song kills me. It goes into my heart like a laser beam.

"Portland Rain" - Everclear. Go find the lyrics. Read them. Live them, dammit. I know I am. I love Everclear anyway, but that song is just rocking my world right now.

"Soon" - Squirrel Nut Zippers. This song puts me in a good mood. It acts on me as a command: smile, life's not so bad!

"Heaven on Earth" - Britney Spears. Don't judge. It's an excellent song.

Consider yourself tagged.

Exile in Guyville turns 15 this month ...

... which means that I am a withered crone and did not even realize it.

Exile in Guyville is being re-released in honor of the upcoming anniversary (with extra tracks, a documentary, all that). Here's an in-depth interview with Liz Phair about the re-release.

That album means a lot to a lot of people, and I'm one of them. It's an awesome record, and was quite revolutionary at the time. I still remember the goosebumps I got when I heard some of the tracks for the first time. It's raw, the music is, if anything, under-produced, but it was her lyrics that got me. (I know I'm showing my age by calling it a "record" but whatevs - I actually did have it on vinyl. So there!) -She was a smarter bitchier sexier version of all the female musician images we see now - a little bit scary, maybe more damaged, but cold and distant - not wearing her heart on her sleeve. She was really saying something on that album, and saying crap that a lot of people didn't want to hear. I love her for it.

I have been listening to tracks from Exile in Guyville, without exaggeration, on an almost daily basis since that double album came out. And now with the whole new-fangled invention of the iPod I listen to it even more - because she comes up on Shuffle repeatedly. I am one of those fans of Liz Phair who did NOT feel betrayed by her later albums, although there's something raw and almost scary about Exile in Guyville (not to mention something scarily akin to my own experience at that time in my own life) that is not there in the later albums, but that's par for the course with an artist's journey. When you're young and desperate and NOT famous, you sometimes have way more courage and honesty - and fame brings its own rewards, but also lessens some of that desperation. Not to mention growing up and having kids and all that ... But Exile in Guyville was a singular event, one of those albums that came along and expressed a truth about a certain KIND of person, in a certain KIND of environment ... Not all women are going to relate to the images of womanhood that Liz Phair exposes in Exile in Guyville, but if you do? You're hooked for good - because there's not a lot of other women out there doing what Phair did at that time. It's a messy and complicated and beautiful woman - I don't know, I'm thinking of someone like Chrissie Hynde, who seems to embody the same type of woman ... except Liz Phair does it in a mid-90s context, as opposed to 70s and 80s. Liz Phair is strictly Generation X, and so am I - poster children for the cliches of our generation. We're about the same age. We were in Chicago at the same time. Hanging out (in some cases) in the same crowd. The album came out as I was going through it, so listening to it for the first time was one of those uncanny "Holy shit, did she read my diary??" moments.

Like "Mesmerizing", one of my favorite tracks:

You said things I wouldn't say
Straight to my face, boy
You tossed the egg up
And I found my hands in place, boy
After backing up as far as you could get
Don't you know nobody parts two rivers met?
Don't you know I'm very happy?
You know me well
I'm even happier
I like it
I like it

With all of the time in the world to spend it
Wild and unwise, I wanna be mesmerizing too
Mesmerizing too
Mesmerizing to you

That's so damn honest. I want to thank her for being honest, because it gave me the possibility of seeing what I was doing as well, and being honest. I wanna be mesmerizing too. I am wild and unwise. I wanna be mesmerizing too. To you. Yes!

I listen to Exile in Guyville and it still calls up that time in my life perfectly. My perception of it may be different now, I may be sadder, and have more regrets - but the experience of the album is the same.

She's a smart cookie. She has just grown as a songwriter in the years since. I'll be a fan forever. Even if she falls short of that original double album - it's just one of those things: I'll follow her wherever she goes.

Listening to it today, the album still holds up a dark mirror, it still delves into womanhood - a kind of Gen X brand of womanhood - that feels acutely and scarily right to me, and it still expresses the joy and loneliness and wildness of that time in my life in a way that is almost too intense.

I love Phair's comment in the article above about going to Oberlin:

So I came to Oberlin having a Lady Di haircut, wearing acid-wash jeans with flowers on them—like, “Hi! I’m Liz! And I wear really strong blue eyeliner!” And I got my ass kicked by all these New Yorkers. The zeitgeist on that campus changed my perspective completely on gender and bravery.

I'll say. Brave brave artist.

So happy birthday to Exile in Guyville - an album that still has the capacity to freak me out completely.

The shallow part of "shallow elitism"

So after two elitist posts (if by "elitist" you mean "talking about books" and making declarations that some things are better than others. If that is your criteria, I am one HELL of an elitist and proud of it!) - I figured I'd throw a bone to the shallow crowd, of which I am also a proud member.

(New readers, a word of explanation: A couple years ago, in one week alone, I got two bitchy emails - one from some jagoff ranting about how "elitist" I was because - well, basically because I wrote about things that HE didn't care about ... and the second email was from some snot ranting about how "shallow" I was because I was obsessed with Project Runway. There was something so FREEING in that one week of emails because I realized, head on, that I cannot please everyone. How on earth can one be a shallow elitist?? I don't know - but I know that I am!! The Sheila Variations: Bringing you Shallow Elitist content since 2002).

Here are some observations I have made of late:

-- Sometimes I listen to songs by "My Chemical Romance" (and I like a lot of them), and my overriding feeling is: "Boys. Please. Calm the hell down. Take a deep breath, and CHILLAX."

-- I have a huge crush on Padma Lakshmi. Oh, and come to think of it, I have a crush on Tom Colicchio too. But Padma actually makes me nervous.

-- I am pretty bummed that Pacifica French Lilac Body Butter is so hard to find. My Whole Foods has their whole line of products - but not that one particular lotion. I am resisting buying it online because they charge 15 dollars shipping and handling or something like that.

-- I love Angelina Jolie and I wonder if we could be friends. I really hope so. I'm psyched to see Wanted. I love her as an actress but I am particularly in love with her in action films. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was a BLAST. She's one of the only actresses out there where I can pretty much believe that it is her doing all that crap - not a stunt woman. She's a lot of fun.

-- I want Kathy Griffin's Life on the D-List show to go on forever. If she ever becomes an A-list actress, I will be devastated because there goes that series, and I love every second of it.

-- I beg of you: follow the link and click through. What???

-- I will always, and I mean always, look back fondly on the first season of Rock of Love. Television just doesn't get any better than that. I mean, seriously. What I love best about the image below is that there is no irony in it. It is earnest. And deeply crazy. And I wish more people on the planet were deeply openly crazy, so I wouldn't feel so left out.

Gorgeous.

-- Recently re-watched Eyes of Laura Mars and reveled in the sight of Tommy Lee Jones in bell bottom jeans, a black turtleneck and long hair.

-- The Real Housewives of New York City cannot hold a candle to the GLORY of Real Housewives of Orange County. It just doesn't have the botox and fake boobs that made the Orange County version so awesome.

-- Speaking of Real Housewives of Orange County, I wonder how Lauri and George are doing. I actually have moments where the couple pops into my mind, and I think, "I hope they're happy together."

-- You know what movie I saw recently and loved? Dan In Real Life. I think that might have to go on my Under-rated Movies List because (along with the incorrect marketing theme today) it was marketed wrong - it was marketed like a wacky 40 Year Old Virgin sequel - which made me not want to see it (as much as I loved 40 Year Old Virgin) - but what a pleasant surprise: it's a sweet well-written funny and poignant family drama - and I LOVED it. I'll do a review of it when I get out from underneath the pile of the project I am working on. Dane Cook was great, too - he belongs in an ensemble piece at this point in his career - he's not confident enough (as an actor, I mean) to carry a movie (yet), but he was terrific here. Everyone was.

Happy Place

I love old sheet music. I love browsing through the online collection at the Library of Congress. I grew up in a Scott Joplin-loving household. We had all his sheet music (still do) and I can still play parts of "The Entertainer" by heart. I remember my parents allowing my brother and me to stay up past our bedtime as kids to see two movies: What's Up, Doc? and The Sting. Good taste, Mum and Dad!

Anyway, here are some images I pulled from the Library of Congress' ragtime collection. Not sure what it is I love about these ... perhaps it's the cameo appearances of Gibson girls, the glimpse into history, the fact I know some of these songs ... whatever it is. Beautiful, I think.

Collection of "happy place" posts here

The joy of re-discovery

I guess I was such a black album girl for so many years ... and I have my ambivalence about Load, although it doesn't send me into a frothing angry wi-ku fit like some other fans ... and their live double album with the San Francisco orchestra remains one of my favorite albums ever, and not a week goes by that I don't listen to at least HALF of it ... so I guess I forgot about Master of Puppets for a while. Re-discovery time. I love it. What a great album. I have been listening to it on eternal repeat for about a week now. I've been writing in the park these days, slathered in SPF 800, listening to Master of Puppets, as I wrestle with the writing demons and struggle to put it all together. I find as I get more and more introspective, my music choices get more and more aggressive. When I'm weepy and morose, the last thing I want to do is pop on Joni or Tori, although I understand people who want their music to reflect their inner life. Not me. If I go on a crying jag of week-long proportions then there I am listening to Eminem, Queens of the Stone Age, Green Day (some of it - the loud hard stuff), and Metallica. It's not that it's invigorating or it "cheers me up" - it's just that it's a nice counterpoint to the interior storm somehow. How on earth could I have gone so long flat out FORGETTING about Master of Puppets? Lars, James, Kirk ... my deepest apologies. "Orion" is the one that it is really striking me lately. I can't get enough, and somehow I feel like I never really heard it before.

The new obsession

Culture snapshots and emotional snapshots

-- I'm reading A Widow for One Year by John Irving and also The Fortune of War by Patrick O'Brian. Awesome counterpoint. Both superb writers in their own way.

-- Thank you, dear Siobhan, for introducing me to the amazing pleasures of L.E.O. - I cannot get enough of them right now. (Website here) Mike Viola and the Candybutchers are pretty much a required course if you are an O'Malley - kinda like the Foo Fighters - you at least have to give them a chance ... otherwise we won't take you seriously. It's kind of non-negotiable. Sorry. Anyway, L.E.O. is sheer liquid joy floating through the atmosphere. The song "Make Me" is my current fave. (Explanation of what L.E.O. is here)

-- Thinking a lot about Jeff Bridges these days. More later.

-- Went to a screening last week of Mongol, the sweeping Russian epic about Genghis Khan. Big plush press screening room on 57th Street, it was great. Everyone (myself included) blackberrying throughout the film, stepping outside to take a phone call, whatever ... and also scribbling on notepads throughout ... totally different atmosphere from seeing a movie out in the real world, but fun and interesting. My review will be on House Next Door eventually - I'll point you that way when it launches.

-- Totally consumed by something I'm working on now. It's causing me a lot of stress, there are not enough hours in the day, but I find a deadline ultimately very freeing.

-- Oh, guess who I heard from randomly (God bless Facebook) ... the guy I gave a photograph of my eyeball to for Valentine's Day 'lo those many years ago. Hysterical. It was good to catch up. I didn't bring up the eyeball. It's still too embarrassing.

-- I miss all of my friends right now.

-- Cashel wears a fedora to school now. He calls it his "trademark".

-- Allison's going to Italy for 10 days with her aunt to take a vacation in Tuscany on a horse farm. She's going to be riding horses the entire time. I'm so happy for her, although I will miss her.

-- Thank you, Hitachi. From the bottom of my heart: THANK. YOU.

-- Oh, and I'm also reading Patricia Neal's autobiography (thank you, cousin Mike!) and damn it's making me fucking SAD. She had one love. Gary Cooper. And she never recovered from the loss. Never. And Roald Dahl was a son of a bitch. But what a life, what a career, what strength ... but she ends the book with thoughts of Gary. She never got over it.

-- I crossed 2 or 3 pretty major things off my To Do list which have been haunting me. I actually cried when I crossed the last one off. It had been tormenting my mind, and giving me stress dreams.

-- Watched Stranger Than Fiction last night for, oh, the 10th time, and had to mop the tears off my face at the end. Slowly it's becoming one of my all-time favorite movies. ("You're never too old for space camp, dude.")

-- Last week I said the following sentence to Patrick, "My fallopian tubes are unfurling." Patrick still has not recovered.

-- My entire consciousness is now consumed by the bridesmaid dress I will wear in September.

-- I find office supplies immensely relaxing.

Patti Labelle:

....singing her ABCs. The whole thing just made me cry.

Please notice Cookie Monster going nuts on the last note, as though he's Ray Charles or something.

Too much great stuff to even analyze.

Just sheer liquid joy.

Where I Come From: Music, TV, Movies ....

A collage of childhood.

And then came ....

... and everything changed. In my memory it changed overnight.

No longer was I interested in bowl-cut Lance Kerwin, struggling against the school bully. No longer was I interested in the problems of ... er .... ecologically conscious wilderness families running for their lives from bears. No longer was I interested in puppets.

Nope. Let's watch that asteroid scene again, please.

Han Solo was a MAN.

I sat there watching that scene (at a drive-in, no less - in my pajamas - up way past my bedtime, crammed in a car with all of my cousins) - and knew I would never be the same again.

Lance Kerwin was my PAST. HAN SOLO was the future. No turning back.

New Workout Mix

I like to mix things up. I also like to have way more material than I could EVER listen to in one particular run ... just so I have options, and it keeps me going.

There are some surprises here. For instance, who knew that Monty Python's "Every Sperm Is Sacred" would work so well on a workout mix? I assure you it does. It starts out a bit slow, but by the end ... well, first of all, I'm running, listening to it, and laughing out loud ... but it also has a strangely MARTIAL feel to it, like you have to keep going. Or God will get quite irate.

Here it is. In the order I have it set up right now on the iPod.

I feel no shame. Ricky Martin is here, as is Britney Spears (multiple times). Deal with it. Justin Timberlake. Eminem. Backstreet Boys. Oh, and Gene Krupa. Plus Monty Python. It is the weirdest workout mix ever created - but it works wonderfully, in terms of motivation and the Fun Factor.

I'm sure this is fascinating.

20th Century Boy - Placebo
9 to 5 - Dolly Parton
You're The One That I Want - Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta
You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Gary Hoey (seriously, with screeching electric guitars ... it's not as good as the Whirling Dervishes' version ... but it's close)
(You Drive Me) Crazy - Ms. Britney Spears
Whole Lotta Lovin' - Huey Lewis
White America - Eminem
What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson
Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
We've Got It Goin' On - Backstreet Boys
We Two Are One - Eurythmics
Trou Macacq - Squirrel Nut Zippers
The Train Kept A-Rollin' - Johnny Burnette & the Rock 'n Roll Trio
Tony - Patty Griffin
Till We Reach That Day - finale to Act I - Ragtime
Till I Collapse - Eminem
Teenage Brain Surgeon - Cherry Poppin' Daddies
Tear Me Down - from Hedwig & the Angry Inch
Strong - Robbie Williams
Stars and Planets - Liz Phair
Spineless - Alanis Morrisette
Soon - Squirrel Nut Zippers
Snuff That Girl - from urinetown
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne
Sing! Sing! Sing! - Gene Krupa and his orchestra
A Shameless Use Of Charm - Everclear
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
Say Yeah - Pat McCurdy
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Redneck Woman - Gretchen Wilson
Raspberry Swirl - Tori Amos
Portland Rain - Everclear
Pink - Aerosmith
Phoenix - Dan Fogelberg
Outside Villanova - Eric Hutchinson
One Night Only - from Dreamgirls (the movie soundtrack)
The One - Foo Fighters
Old Before I Die - Robbie Williams
No News - Lonestar
My Prerogative - Britney Spears
Magic - Olivia Newton-John
M.I.A. - Foo Fighters
Lucky Charm - Stray Cats
Love Conquers - Pat McCurdy
Lose Yourself - Eminem
Lonely As You - Foo Fighters
Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
Live and Let Die - Wings
Little Cream Soda - White Stripe
Let's Get Retarded - Black Eyed Peas
Les Champs-Elysees - Joe Dassin
La La - Ashlee Simpson
Knutsford City Limits - Robbie Williams
Keep the Customer Satisfied - Simon & Garfunkel
Jungle - ELO
Jeepster - T Rex
It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls
In Pursuit of Happiness - Divine Comedy
I'll Get Over You - Pat McCurdy
Home - Marc Broussard
Holding My Breath - Hellogoodbye
Heaven On Earth - Britney Spears
Heartbreak Express - Dolly Parton
Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Gimme More - Britney Spears
Get the Party Started - Pink
Future Sex/Love Sound - Justin Timberlake
Flight Of the Passing Fancy - Squirrel Nut Zippers
Father Of Mine - Everclear
Excuses - Alanis Morrisette
Everything Is Everything - Lauryn Hill
Everybody (Backstreet's Back) - Backstreet Boys
Every Sperm Is Sacred - Monty Python
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Driven By You - Queen
Down In Mexico - The Coasters
Dead! - My Chemical Romance
Cool, Cool, Considerate Men - from the 1776 soundtrack
Come Sail Away - Styx
Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You - SR-71
Christmas Eve (Sarajevo) - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Bungle In the Jungle - Jethro Tull
Breakout - Foo Fighters
Brave New Girl - Britney Spears
Brain Stew - Green Day
Bitterroot - Indigo Girls
Big Wheel - Tori Amos
Big Time Sensuality - Bjork
Between My Legs - Rufus Wainright
Baby One More Time - Britney Spears
As - George Michael & Mary J. Blige
American Woman - Lenny Kravitz
All Over the World - ELO
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
All I Really Want - Alanis Morrissette

Album release: Siobhan O'Malley

So my beautiful and talented sister Siobhan has some big news. Her second album is finally available. Long story - the label went under, her tracks were trapped in the netherworld ... but finally: IT'S OUT. I'm thrilled for her.

You can download the tracks on her Myspace page - and I guess if you're a CD type (you dinosaur!!) - a CD will also be available eventually. But for now - you can get all the songs in mp3 form there. Her first album Permanent Markers was self-produced - and for this one, she had a producer - so the sound is much bigger - there's a band, freakin' HORNS, I think someone plays a harpsichord at one point - you know, studio musicians!! - it's thrilling. You can hear one of the tracks when you open her Myspace page.

Congrats, Siobhan! I'm so proud and so psyched!!

Divas on Youtube: Whitney

The anthem. It's definitive.

Divas on Youtube: Mariah

2002 Superbowl. The date is all you need to know. I feel those days, I feel that time ... in her singing. Beautifully done.

Divas on Youtube: Marvin Gaye

I'm sure you've all seen this.

But one can never see it enough.

Divas on Youtube: Destiny's Child

Perfect harmony. Makes my heart stop a little bit.

Divas on Youtube: Kelly

A capella. Sweet. A clear open voice.

Divas on Youtube: Beyonce

... the National Anthem.

Tears. You go. You freakin' go with your superstar self.

Divas on Youtube: Whitney

Mitchell is the Encyclopedia Britannica of Youtube. We spent hours looking stuff up. He tracked down clips of divas doin' what they do. Here are some of the clips he showed me!

Whitney Houston singing what is (Mitchell is right) a really boring song - at least the recorded version of it. Yawn. But what she does with it here? Extraordinary. An amazingly specific performance - she is thinking, gesturing, pausing - and also building. It has a great build - she is totally in charge of her instrument here. Riveting.

Whitney Houston: Didn't We Almost Have It All?

Divas on Youtube: Bette, Cher, Elton

"Mock ... YEAH ... bird ... YEAH ..."

Elton in a towering white hat. Bette and Cher grinding it out around him. On that psychedelic set. (Clip below)

I mean, you just would never ever see something like this on TV now. Perhaps "thank God" is what some of you would say in response to that - but I have nostalgia for those old freaky weird days. You wouldn't see an orange singing opera for no discernable reason on Sesame Street now! Not in a world where Cookie Monster has to eat vegetables - so he doesn't set a bad example!!

But let's not dwell on such unpleasantness. Let us go back to the clip below.

Like: what the HELL is going on?? The outfits! The almost NOTHING-ness of it - meaning: Cher and Bette just jitter around, standing by Elton in fabulous dresses - singing like crazy. No big flashy dance number ... Nothing but two sparkley ladies, singing the hell out of a song, on an incomprehensible drug trip of a set ... legends. And this was prime time!!

Look at Elton singing backup!

Divas on Youtube: Tina

This has to be one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Of this song or any song.

Divas on Youtube: Bette

Again: what is so wonderful about these divas is not just how they perform, and their voices - but their specificity - which is so much missing in today's younger divas - who have a cookie-cutter aspect to their voices. But Bette? In the clip below - the song is pouring out of her - she is not controlling it - (like the weird slapping thing she does with her wrists, when she's holding onto herself) - she's obviously controlling her voice and what she does with it (the woman must have vocal cords of steel - just like Tina Turner) - but she is not controlling her experience OF the song. It appears to be happening TO her.

And man, that's the kind of performing that gives me goosebumps.

Mark Rydell, director of The Rose, said that he felt such strong love for Bette Midler, to this day, that he almost wanted her to be set up as a protected national monument. "She should be protected. LAWS should be passed." She had never before been asked to do anything along the lines of what she did in The Rose - and he said that she was not only willing to 'go there', but fearless in just saying "Yes" to everything he asked of her. At one point he said he went up to her, early on in filming, and gave her one simple note. He said, "In every single scene, I want you to try to fill the bottomless pit that's inside of you. No matter what the scene is: try to fill that hole."

Not everyone could take such direction. If you remember that performance, you'll know how raw and almost unwatchable it is at times, it's uncomfortable to be in the presence of a person who has a perpetual bottomless pit inside. But that was the demand of the part. She was so fearless in taking his direction that when I went and heard Mark Rydell a couple years ago, tears filled his eyes when speaking of Midler, he still remained that moved by her.

This clip below - of Midler singing singing "You can't always get what you want" and "I shall be released" is also one of the most incredible live performances I've ever seen.

Divas on Youtube: Josh Groban (uhm, what?)

No, seriously. Mitchell and I were talking about Chess and Judy Kuhn and the music and all that - and somehow we mentioned that we do not like the voice of the guy who sings "Anthem" on the US version of the album. It's adenoidal or something. He sounds stuffed up and nasal and it is not a pleasing sound. Great rousing song ... but whatevs on the voice. So Mitchell said, "Have you seen Josh Groban sing the song?"

I had not.

Here it is.

Brillz. Just BRILLZ. That's how the song should be sung: open, unclouded, courageous, simple ... don't overdo it. Just sing it. No big gestures, no CHEESE (because it already could be cheesy) ... Just open your throat, and be simple. Watch how Josh Groban walks down center stage during that bridge near the end ... looking around, nothing big, arms at his sides ... getting ready to go up the octave for the end. Keeping it simple. Knowing he doesn't have to DO much - he doesn't reach, or strain, or act. The song acts HIM, if that makes sense. It's unfussy, clear, and exciting.

Well done. I'm very impressed.

Divas on Youtube: Bobby Darin

Okay - not really a diva. But whatever.

Bobby Darin appeared on the Judy Garland show in the Pre-Paleozoic Era - with a strange stark set around him which was a cross between Night of the Hunter and the "Poor Jud Is Dead" number from Oklahoma. And he sang "Michael Row the Boat Ashore".

Alex made me watch it the first time I stayed with her and Chrisanne - and I wrote about it here.

It's a smokin' hot version of the song. He clenches his fist. He clenches his jaw - so the words have to come out through a clenched angry jaw. It's sexy is what it is. He's a dirty boy. He seems angry. Probably about stuff that happened when he was 3. So it's deeply engrained. But yum yum. I LOVE how he sings this song.

Again - you'd never see a number like this on television now - the medium has changed so much. But I love its simplicity - the abstract set - which is understated (and weird) enough that you forget about it - and focus only on the singer. No pyrotechnics. Just performing.

Yum. Very glad it's on Youtube. Now I can watch it constantly.

Joining the Winehouse train

As always, I'm the last to figure it out. I don't listen to the radio, and I have to admit: I am not up on the "latest" thing, and usually it comes to me by accident: I'll hear a song playing in a store and be compelled to run out and buy the whole thing. So all I know about Amy Winehouse is what the tabloids tell me. She seems to enjoy strolling around the streets of London at 3 a.m. in her underwear. She also enjoys buying junk food. She prefers filthy ballet flats and appears to have lost 5 teeth in a 3 month period. She is a trainwreck. I've seen the pictures. But never heard her album. Siobhan loved it - hell, everybody loves it - but I had no idea. I didn't even know what KIND of music it was. So last weekend, we all were hanging out in the tattoo parlor, with Beans, et al ... and a song came on, and it pierced right through me. I wondered who it was. It sounded vaguely Billie Holliday-esque. With maybe some Dinah Washington thrown in. Could it be Eartha Kitt, whom I love? WHO THE HELL IS THAT SINGING BECAUSE SHE IS AWESOME? I asked Beans, and he said, "Amy Winehouse." So, okay. Yeah. I'm the dummie. I went out and bought her album, and since then - it has been on eternal repeat. This chick is unbelievable. The voice, the sound - it's almost like a Dirty Dancing sound - that type of girl-rock in the 1960s, but more guttural, more grounded. Damn, it's some good stuff. I can't stop listening to it.

Again, I realize I'm the last to figure it out.

Better late than never.

A tour of my bulletin board

Random. Eminem. Broken Journey postcard.

Quelle Chanson, Non? - by Brendan O'Malley

NOTE FROM SHEILA: I asked my brother Brendan, who is a wonderful writer, to recount in words an experience he had in France - something I remember him telling me, in vivid detail at the time (it was years ago) ... and I have never forgotten it. Not just because it's a great story, but because of how Brendan told it. He made me feel like I was there. And beyond that: I could get the importance of the moment - not just because I was a huge fan of the band in question as well, but because I knew Brendan, and I knew his journey with music, which was always quite singular and his own (up until this point, I mean). Brendan covered a bit of that in the essay he wrote about The Replacements. Anyway, I was going to tell the following story myself - but then thought: no no no, have Bren write it. So I asked him. And a couple days later I received the essay, which I have since read no less than 10 times. And I still feel the hugeness of the moment, for my brother.

And more than that: I just love how he tells the damn story. (I mean: "two-headed hydra of searing punk rock, The Replacements and Husker Du")? Come on. It's just awesome. Also I love his description of one band: "took on ‘important’ issues like racism, sexism, and ‘the-world-doesn’t-understand-our-mohawks-ism’." hahahaha

Enjoy. Whether or not you feel the same passion for the bands Brendan mentions is irrelevant. That's not what this is about. I think we all can relate to such a story as the one below, those of us who are passionate about art, music, writing, movies - whatever ... those moments when the top of your head blows off as you realize what has not just become possible, but what already IS possible because it's already happened.

My brother describes just such a moment as that.

Quelle Chanson, Non?

My fifth year of college (!) was spent abroad in Orleans, France at L’Universite d’Orleans. Up until that point, I’d lived in Rhode Island all my life. From the time I was 15 until that year my main contact with the world outside of Little Rhody was through various punk rock bands.

This is what ’83 to ’91 looked like for me…

7Seconds were from out West and toured relentlessly, singing melodic breakneck hardcore punk that thematically took on ‘important’ issues like racism, sexism, and ‘the-world-doesn’t-understand-our-mohawks-ism’.

Minor Threat were from D.C. and not as upbeat as 7Seconds. They were more attuned to the forces that lay behind the ills of society and therefore less inclined to sing passionately about being able to change it. They later morphed into Fugazi, another of my all-time favs.

The Midwest was represented by a two-headed hydra of searing punk rock, The Replacements and Husker Du. The Replacements were the ill-advised Thursday night booze-off before a big test and Husker Du was the all-night study session for a political science exam that devolves into a meth-fueled rage against some machine.

All these bands were connected to other lesser lights. Before the internet, there was DIY (Do It Yourself) punk rock. They started their own record labels, they printed their own LP’s, they drew their own posters. They toured the country in vans sleeping on the couches of their biggest fans.

Rolling Stone didn’t write about them, radio wouldn’t touch them with an any length foot pole, MTV was already in the business of creating megastars, and the majority of the public winced at anything that was LOUD. I vividly remember playing a Replacements song for a friend of mine in high school. This guy was a musician, a guitar player who liked heavy metal for Pete’s sake, but he simply COULD NOT HEAR THE SONG. All he heard was noise.

This scene would be replayed throughout the late ‘80’s for me, both in high school and in my first few years in college. I had my circle of like-minded friends. There were four of us. Tom, Justin, Joe, moi. We were occasionally a band, but more often than not we were intense spectators. To be a fan of this music meant a certain level of danger. Concerts were rag-tag affairs in which the crowd threw itself against itself as ferociously as possible. There were violent elements who were attracted to this kind of freedom and we often found ourselves rescuing punk maidens from slam-dance circles and avenging uncalled for elbows with punches. Skinheads, completely missing the point, weren’t dancing so much as they were trolling for conflict. Depending on our mood, we either gave it to them or didn’t.

Outside the shows this underground element would collide with ‘normal’ American life. The leeriness of capitalism was astounding. The feeling of ‘us vs. them’ was overwhelming. Restaurants would refuse to serve you. Store owners would deny you their products. Business owners would REFUSE YOUR MONEY. I could romanticize that whole aspect as having added some level of enjoyment, but to be honest, it just sucked. I had thousands of ‘what is the deal with THAT’ conversations with my co-conspirators. The justifications we concocted on behalf of our oppressors could never quite be pinned down into any certain set of criteria. Suffice it to say, we were, by definition, outsiders.

Did this status affect my view of said mainstream? In other words, was I as much of a douchebag to the world as the world was a douchebag to me? Of course not. I bought ‘Thriller’ like everyone else. I rocked out to Van Halen’s ‘Runnin’ With The Devil’. I lusted over Sade. I never cared for Madonna, but I didn’t SPIT at people who did. I even had some classic rock in the collection. My tastes ran towards punk rock but I could appreciate Duran Duran, perhaps the weirdest boy band ever. And Prince was from Minneapolis like my other two favorite bands. What wasn’t there to like about Prince?

But my open-mindedness was definitely not reciprocated. For some reason the music that meant the most to me was not just disliked, it was seen as a threat.

So, college happened in there somewhere. In between punk rock concerts, I did a ton of plays at the wonderful University of Rhode Island theater department. I had a series of disastrous relationships and abused alcohol. I HAD A BLAST.

I kept three majors. Theater, English, and French. My youthful enjoyment of Inspector Clouseau had improbably turned into a major. Thus everything about my French studies seemed vaguely comedic to me. The opportunity to live in France for a year was going to be a laugh riot. I’d completed 4 full years of college and only needed 9 credits to graduate. 5 classes per semester equals 15 credits, so you do the math. Over the course of my two semesters in France, I only needed to do less than one semester of work. France was in trouble, people.

That summer wasn’t exactly a victory lap of an exit. I got Lyme’s Disease and went through a horrific breakup. I left the country an emotional wreck and very unhealthy. In fact, I took the last of my antibiotics right before I got on the plane, hoping they’d done their work. I invested in an expensive CD Walkman and a small set of speakers. I brought two notebooks of CD’s with me, perhaps 20 of my favorites.

My first couple of months in France were primarily recuperative. I went to classes with my other Foreign Exchange students, I ate pleasant dinners with my host family, I went to every movie in town to get used to listening to French when I didn’t have to respond. I read in my little dorm room. I ate the same meal twice a day at the cafeteria. Slowly the language unfurled itself to me and social situations became bearable.

Two of my American friends had joined a local American football team and made some French friends. This was what I was after. Instead of hanging out with my classmates, other non-French speaking foreigners, I began hanging out primarily with French people. But America was about to reach out to me.

The campus of L’Universite d’Orleans is a 20 minute bus ride outside of the city of Orleans. We all began to spend far more time in the city and very little on campus. On one of these excursions, we stopped in at FNAC. FNAC (said as one word by the French, hilarious) was the French version of Tower Records. In a ‘holy shit I feel old’ side note, Tower recently disappeared off of the face of the planet.

I’d been in France a couple of months and I’d yet to buy any music, preferring instead to start smoking. So I wasn’t all that into going to FNAC, to be honest. I loitered, looking at French chicks.

And then a song came on over the in-store stereo system.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ANYTHING THAT FOLLOWS.

My memory of this moment is like one of those long unbroken movie shots…the camera starts up in the very highest corner of the store. The song begins and slowly the camera begins to swoop, capturing the silly French fashions, the funny haircuts, the multi colored crazily buttoned jackets, the pointy shoes, late ‘80’s American culture reappropriated back to Europe and funneled inappropriately into Mass Appeal. The focus of the shot narrows in on the face of an obviously American post-teen. As the music builds, the camera nears his face as his mouth opens, his toes tap, his head bounces. He is obviously AMAZED at this sound. The sound obliterates everything else.

The camera stays in close up. The song ends. The next voice you hear you have to try to imagine a little bit. Do you remember the morning rock DJ in your town? Do you remember the inherent utter hyperbole in their speech? Now cross that with Inspector Clouseau…

‘Eh, mes amis, quelle chanson, non? C’etait le Number One des Etats Unis, la nouvelle son de…”

Interjection: Did I just hear him say that was the Number One song in the United States? When I flew out of Logan Airport, the number one song was ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You’ by Bryan Adams. It had just replaced ‘Rush Rush’ by Paula Abdul. Those were the big hits of the summer. Think about that for a second.

Cut back to gape-mouthed post-teen…

“…la nouvelle son de Nirvana! Smells Like Teen Spirit de l’album Nevermind.”

Dropping the camera metaphor, I could barely believe what I’d been hearing. I tore over to the Rock section and found Nirvana. Sold out. I had heard of them after they put out their ‘Bleach’ album in 1989 but I hadn’t bought the album and knew very little about them. I was almost angry. That song was Number One??? What the hell was going on back there???? I turn my back for one second and all of a sudden everyone can handle loud music??? Not only can they handle it, but it is THE MOST POPULAR SONG IN THE COUNTRY????

I seriously thought about getting on a plane and flying back to the States.

Imagine you work for a political candidate, Mr. So-and-so. You’ve been tirelessly campaigning for years. You’ve poured your heart and soul into a race that people seem ambivalent about at best. By some fluke, you are on a deserted island when the actual voting takes place. Your isolation makes you wonder what ever compelled you to get involved in politics in the first place. A plane flies overhead. Instead of rescuing you, it drops a newspaper on your head. The headline says, “So-and-So Elected in a Landslide!”

I’d spent the better part of ten years catching flak for how loud and out of control my tastes were, how what I liked was actually an affront to decent American consumerism, and that such a horrific assault on art and sound was everything that was wrong with the youth of today.

Bryan Adams was considered a ROCK STAR. Huey Lewis (god love ‘im) was a ROCK STAR. Now, I have nothing against either of these guys, but…come on. ROCK STARS? I don’t think so. Rock stars scare people. David Bowie is a ROCK STAR. Mick Jagger is a ROCK STAR. They scared people! They might even have slept together just to show the world they could do whatever they wanted! ROCK STARS change how people view the world.

I have never felt such a sensation of vertigo as I did that day in that French record store. One listen of that song and I knew that NOTHING would be the same when I got back to America. Name another song that could truthfully make such a claim.

One final note. I only got 8 credits and had to take another class when I got back Stateside. C’est la vie!

2007 Year in Pictures

Kinda hot, in a dirty-sexy-boy kinda way, although he's not my type at all. To see my type, please see photo labeled "Fleet Week". Thank you.

2007 Year in Pictures

Meredith Vieira, Lily Allen

2007 Year in Pictures

Mural in the East Village.

2007 Year in Pictures

Smashing Pumpkins poster

And now for Judy's "Man That Got Away"

Jesus Mary and Joseph. That's all I have to say.

Judy Garland, singing "The Man That Got Away" in the film Star is Born (clip below the fold).

Minute 3:04 to 3:17 is seriously beyond words. I'm all goosebumpy and freaked out. Watch her one gesture when she sings "But fools will be fools" ... it's startling in its subtlety and quietness ... its honesty and introspection ... because the rest of it is just so OUT there - singing for her was a full-body experience. And this is what people mean when they talk about the "musicianship" of people like Garland, or Sinatra or Dean Martin or Ella Fitzgerald. They didn't just have good voices, and stand up on stage singing. They understood music, intuitively. They knew how to use their voices, first of all - and that's very important - but they understood music on a broader level, a higher-up level - that today's pop stars (for the most part) cannot even come close to approaching. Judy, for all intents and purposes, is just standing there - in the clip below ... but my God, isn't she doing so much more than that?? Not only is she living the song, and pouring her experience into her voice (and that takes skill) ... but she is part of the band. That's why I love this clip, in particular -and love that scene from the movie. Surrounded by jazz musicians afterhours in a smoky club, it makes the point: Garland's voice is just another instrument in the band. It's part of the whole. She's not just the girl in front of the band, she's one of them, she's a trumpet, a flute, a piano. Watch how she deals with the musicians, grinning at one who has a little solo, working with them, leading them, following them - it is an organic group experience that can only come from deep intellectual (on an almost unconscious level) understanding. Garland probably couldn't describe what she was doing. She doesn't need to. The proof is in the result. She's a maestro.

Also: one take. One take only. Unbelievable.

Speaking of "The Man That Got Away" ....

Check out Audra McDonald singing it. (Clip below). And check out her ACTING. Something happens to her - inside - at around the 3 minute point ... just watch her face, and where it goes. She's a phenom. I was lucky enough to recently see her in action in 110 In the Shade and I can attest to the fact that she's truly one of a kind onstage. I mean, there's the undeniable fact of her instrument. There's that. Gal's got some major pipes. But to connect that with subtle deep heartfelt acting ... that is no easy task. It cannot be taught. My cousin Kerry has it too. Alex has it. My friend Kate has it. Judy Garland, of course, had it. At the beginning of the clip below - if you turned down the sound, and watched the start of the song - you might not even know she's singing - her manner is so natural, so easy, so ... thoughtful. You can see that she is working out the lyrics. She is discovering what to say next ... even though it's all plotted out for her beforehand.

Enjoy. This woman is something else.

Music

I bought some second-hand music yesterday. 6 albums for 30 bucks. I'm like a kid in a candy store.

I found the old double-album Eagles Live that I used to have on cassette - and is my favorite Eagles album. It's the one with Seven Bridges Road leading off the second side ... and it also has a live version of Wasted Time that is as good as it gets. I am not a huge Eagles fan - but I'm an enormous fan of this particular album.

I bought There Goes Rhymin' Simon - one of my favorite Paul Simon albums from when I was a kid. It starts off with "Kodachrome", a song I have always loved. But for me, the highpoint of the album - is "One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor". LOVE that song and I am so glad it is back in my life now.

I bought Hot - by Squirrel Nut Zippers. I just love that damn band. It makes me want to have an inappropriate love affair and smoke long cigarettes and stay out all night, clicking on my heels home through the dawn light, tripping over the cobblestones. Or maybe I'd take the elevated train home back to Brooklyn, wearing a little hat with a veil. I'm a spinsterish librarian having a hot sex affair with a raggedy jazz musician and I meet him at dingy clubs in the Village to listen to him play. I don't know - a whole world suggests itself to me when I listen to Squirrel Nut Zippers. Wonderful stuff.

I bought "Welcome to the Drama Club" - by Everclear, one of my favorite bands. I guess I realized that I don't have enough Everclear. Their lyrics!! And his voice just kills me - it's a great one. Man, when he gets angry? God, it gives me goosebumps - he sings with such openness and passion.

I bought "So-Called Chaos" by the overanalytic sometimes-annoying yet enjoyable nonetheless Alanis Morissette. I find her phrasing ridiculous, it makes no sense - she'll add syllables just to make the damn song scan - like you have to do with Shakespeare - you know, she'll say "I have form-ED an attachment" or whatever. Form-ed, Alanis? Why don't you find another word that fits the damn melody that YOU WROTE??? I am annoyed. Yet I also love. I find some of her stuff really exciting.

And lastly - I bought Rufus Wainwright's album of his live concert at Carnegie Hall - where he recreated Judy Garland's spectacular concert at the same venue ... her album is one of the most successful live albums of all time. I blithered about Rufus's project here. I love him so much already - and I love him just for the IDEA of the project. And now to hear it? I listened to it last night and at certain points found tears streaming down my face. I found myself crying during the overture, mkay? Just the concept of what Rufus did ... his love and bizarre mix of self-confidence and humility ... he wasn't trying to imitate her ... It was a tribute TO her. The biggest tribute a fanboy could make. And he wasn't doing it alone in his room, lip synching to the album. He was on the same damn stage Judy had stood on, triumphantly. Singing the same songs in the same order. My God. The balls. His rendition of "The Man That Got Away" doesn't QUITE give Judy run for her money ... nothing can compare to what the hell she does when she sings that song ... but still. I put my head in my hands last night as I listened to Rufus wail: "And where's he goooooooooone toooooooooooo?" and cried. I just want to squeeze him so tight in thanks for doing such an album ... I want to squeeze him until he cries out for mercy. Love love love. Pure love. Rufus singing "Zing! Went the Strings"? Have I died and gone to heaven?

A typical Sheila story

Sitting on the bus yesterday. It was the first really cold night we've had. My packages surrounding me: tea lights, oil fragrances for my diffuser thingie that I am addicted to, also a car fragrance thing for my car (Yankee Candle: Lemon Lavendar scent).

iPod playing Backstreet Boys. BLARING Backstreet Boys. "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)", to be specific. I can barely hold myself back from leaping up and dancing in the aisles. You know ... that cockatoo bird was moved to dance to the song ... and so am I.

Nose in a book: Hannah Arendt's Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil.

I can listen to Backstreet Boys as I read about the Holocaust. I see no problem here.

I curled up in bed last night and watched Notting Hill for, oh, the 5000th time. It never pales. I don't know why. It's a simple pleasure for me. It's a tossup between Notting Hill and About a Boy (another favorite). They just satisfy. They do not challenge ... they satisfy. Most of the time I'm in the mood for a challenge. But when I'm not? Let's watch Notting Hill or About a Boy. True, Dean Stockwell is not in either of these films ... but that's a forgivable lapse in judgment on the part of the directors.

After finishing Notting Hill, I read some more of Hannah Arendt's book ... while listening to Britney Spears' "In the Zone" (I think that "Toxic" is pretty much the highpoint of what is now, obviously, her sadly short career. Great song). Again. Britney Spears. Holocaust. Makes perfect sense.

Woke up to the first snow.

Maurice Jarre - a Tribute to David Lean

In honor of David Lean's upcoming 100th birthday, in 2008, Milan Entertainment has released a special edition DVD/CD of a tribute concert which was recorded live at the Barbican Center in London in 1992, a month after David Lean's death. Maurice Jarre, French composer, composed the scores to 4 of David Lean's films: Doctor Zhivago, Lawrence of Arabia, Ryan's Daughter, and Passage to India, and he conducts the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra in the David Lean tribute. Jarre was a very close friend to Lean, and you can feel his emotion at certain points of the concert, the sense of loss for his friend, and the focus it takes to keep his mind on the job at hand. It's very moving to watch. The concert was recorded live, so obviously that means: one take, no do-overs, and they only had 7 cameras. It is extraordinary how those 7 cameras actually feel like 20, with the angles and perspectives provided throughout the concert. It is beautifully done, and I'm so pleased that this treasure is now available to the public.

The special edition DVD has audio commentary by Mr. Jarre. He talks about the work it took to pull the concert off, they only had two rehearsals, and he also reminisces about his association with David Lean, and what it was like to work on these extraordinary pictures with him. You get wonderful glimpses into how David Lean worked. Maurice Jarre said that Lean taught him perfectionism.

Maurice Jarre started out in France, and did quite well, and it was the score he composed for Sundays and Cybele which attracted the attention of Hollywood. It was nominated for Best Score. Sam Spiegel, mogul extraordinaire, honed in on Jarre as the man who should compose the score to his upcoming picture, Lawrence of Arabia. The interesting thing about this was that the music for Sundays and Cybele only made up about 10 minutes of the film, and there were only a couple of instruments involved. And here he was, being asked to compose (at very short notice) over 2 hours of music, for a 100-piece orchestra! But Spiegel knew an artist when he heard one. I love the idea of Jarre rising to the challenge, saying "Yes" to this unbelievable opportunity. There were all kinds of issues involved with hiring him, since the score was going to be recorded in London, and Spiegel was concerned that he already had too many "foreigners" involved in the picture, and Hollywood wouldn't take kindly to that. Additionally, the British government would not provide a subsidy for the recording unless a British person conducted the orchestra. Jarre didn't mind that. The job was big enough to keep him occupied. However, when Adrian Boult, the British conductor, was brought in for the rehearsal, and Jarre explained to him how recording for a film works, how you have to keep an eye on the chronometer, and an eye on the screen - as well as conducting the orchestra - a look of panic came over Boult's face. He said, "I don't know how to do that!" Eventually, Jarre ended up conducting the orchestra, except on the film credits Adrian Boult is listed as the conductor, in order to get the British subsidies. However, when the record was released of the score, Jarre was listed as the conductor. And nobody noticed or said a word about it, that two people apparently conducted that score. And Boult never conducted a note!

The collaboration between Lean and Jarre was highly successful, and Jarre won three Oscars, for Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago (I can hear that score in my head now!) and A Passage to India. Jarre describes Lean's way of working, his theory of music in film. They were very much in sync, which is why it was such a fruitful working relationship. Lean did not believe that music should underline the events. Jarre said that only very rarely did Lean go in that direction. He was more interested in having music that showed what could not be showed visually. And isn't that the best kind of score? The most memorable? I am always annoyed by music that merely underlines what I already see. For example, Jarre describes the moment in Lawrence of Arabia when the little boy is out in the desert, all alone, staring around him. And then, on the far horizon, he sees a small black dot, and slowly the black dot approaches ... until you get that great shot of the two figures coming towards each other across the sandy panorama. It's magnificent. And the music swells to an almost unbearable crescendo, it's goosebump time! Jarre said that David Lean said to him, "We need something here that tells us what the little boy is feeling." This is Jarre's favorite kind of composing.

Another example of this (and it was one of my favorite stories in the interview Christian Lauliac does with Jarre which is also included in the special edition disc) is the Indian statue sequence in Passage to India, when Judy Davis, inhibited Victorian lady, comes across a garden of almost pornographic Indian statues. She is overwhelmed, something is stirring inside of her - it's pleasing, but it's also terrifying - since she has no context for the experience. She stares around, seeing the naked breasts and undulating figures, getting more and more disturbed, until finally about 5 monkeys descend on her, from a nearby tree - causing her to flee. That's the end of the sequence. There's not a word of dialogue. Judy Davis' acting brings you partway there, the cinematography fills in some of the blanks, but it is the music, in the end, that completes the picture. Lean had wanted there to be 1,000 monkeys leaping out of the tree, but there was only money for 5. So he said to Maurice Jarre (and I love this line): "You have to give me the missing monkeys with your music." And that's exactly what Jarre did.

The concert itself is broken down into 7 parts: the introductory "Remembrance", the "Ryan's Daughter" suite, the "Passage to India" suite, the "Doctor Zhivago" suite, a special piece of music composed by Jarre for David Lean's wedding, the "Passage to India: Garden of Statues" (where Jarre and the orchestra demonstrate how music is recorded for film, with the chronometer and the sequence projected on the wall behind), and finally, the "Lawrence of Arabia" suite. Throughout each, scenes from the film appear, but for me, the best part of the whole experience was watching Jarre himself. He was so focused, so marvelous, and he reminisced that because it was a David Lean tribute, many of the musicians brought not just their talent that day, but their hearts. It shows.

Jarre says, in the interview with Christian Lauliac, in regards to working with David Lean, "I am very careful to go in the same direction as him."

What a beautiful statement of the nature of artistic collaboration.

Maurice Jarre - a Tribute to David Lean includes:
DVD:
Full concert (also with audio commentary by Maurice Jarre)
35 minute interview with Maurice Jarre
Filmographies and biographies of Maurice Jarre and David Lean
Essay by film critic Christian Lauliac on the careers of both men

CD:
Full concert

Available on Amazon.

Milan Records

Culture Notes

-- Today is finally here. I thought it would never arrive. Britney's new album is now out. I am DYING to hear it. I am not even kidding.

-- Still working on Bleak House. I adore it, and actually shed tears over it a couple days ago. A touching reunion scene between Esther and her you-know-who. I have also laughed so loud in public while reading it that I scared passersby. Loving the book.

-- Thoughts on The Darjeeling Limited to come. I felt alone in my deep love for it - faced against the entire planet who did not like it - until I talked to Siobhan - she loved it, too.

-- Speaking of The Darjeeling Limited, I cannot get enough (literally) of the song that plays over the end credits: "Les Champs Elysees" - by Joe Dassin. A happier song you've never heard. It has the same effect on me that "Fields of Joy" by Lenny Kravitz has. I just feel little bursts of pure happiness throughout - why??? I don't know. I am now in the autistic phase of playing "Les Champs Elysees" over ... and over ... and over ... and over ...

-- Dear Simon Callow: when is volume 3 of your Orson Welles biography coming out?? Soon? I beg of you? You're a marvelous writer -volume 2 ends in 1948 - so we have quite a ways to go until "we will sell no wine before its time." GREAT accomplishment, Mr. Callow - it's stunning. More, please, more!!

-- Here's some photos of Dean Stockwell's collages and dice sculptures from his current show in Taos, New Mexico. He also has created (Stevie and I drooled over them) an entire Tarot card pack - original collages for each card - I think the whole set (arcana) was 1200 bucks - and they were fantastic!!!

-- Kate left me a message the other night. "So ... I am calling you from the ancien regime ..."

-- AHHHHHH!!!!!!

-- George Washington read the 101st Psalm? A series of awesome posts tracking down the source of the anecdote:
George Washington read the 101st Psalm
Another Version of Andrew Leavitt's Story
The Little Lady Who Started the Anecdote?
Meanwhile, Back in October 1775
Rev. Waldo and Gen. Washington
Another Washington's Psalm Legend

An unbelievable blog ... seriously!!

"Music makes the people come together!!"

Some questions about music from my Quantum Leap partner-in-crime Tommy. I will continue, by the way, with the re-caps (all Quantum Leap stuff HERE, for those of you looking for it) ... but this week is shot, in terms of time and also my geographical location. I will not be near a computer for a couple days to do the re-caps - but next week I will!! I've already taken copious notes on Episode 3. Stay tuned.

On to the music questions:

What music are you currently grooving to?

I have Hellogoodbye on almost constant rotation. Emily: you rock for introducing me to these guys!! Track 6 and 7 I listen to, on average, 5 or 6 times a day. It's feeding something in me right now, resonating ... it has something to do with happiness. And wanting to be happy. I feel happy when I listen to their music. It's wonderful.

I'm also listening to Pat McCurdy's latest album 15 Favorites (lyrics to all songs here). Monkey Paw? Awesome. Electronic Friend? Hysterical (especially because it has a soft soulful ballad-y feel). Tiny People with Enormous Heads?? SO STUPID. SO FUNNY. I also love Strange Things Happen To Me. But it's all good.

And let's just see what is on my "Top 25 Most Played" list on Ye Olde ipod. Yes. Geek. Mariah Carey's Christmas song is FAR AND AWAY the most frequently played song in my entire collection. Yup. That sounds about right.

"Top 25 Most Played Songs on iPod"

All I want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
A Little More Love - Olivia Newton John
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Mr. Blue Sky - ELO
Beale St. Blues - Eartha Kitt
Stars and Planets - Liz Phair
Cream - Prince
Ain't That a Kick in the Head - Dean Martin
21 Things I Want In a Lover - Alanis Morrissette
Christmas Is the Time to Say I love You - SR-71
I Don't Know What It Is - Rufus Wainwright
Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen
A Woman Wouldn't Be a Woman - Eartha Kitt
Son of Sam - Elliot Smith
Rock Me - Liz Phair
The Great Pretender - Queen
Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
One Vision - Queen
Confusion - ELO
14th Street - Rufus Wainright
The End - My Chemical Romance
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
The One You Love - Rufus Wainright
Dead! - My Chemical Romance

What, if push comes to shove, is your all-time favourite album?

If you ask me this question tomorrow, i would answer differently. Just KNOW that and that the fun of such questions is to really search your brain for what you value and adore - not to get the answer "right". So off the top of my head, in this particular moment - I would say that my all-time favorite album - might be The Color and the Shape - Foo Fighters.

I think it's a perfect album. There was a good year and a half when I never took it out of the CD player - it was in constant rotation.

What was the first record you ever bought? And where did you buy it?

"Time" - by ELO - was the first record I ever bought.

Before that, it was all showtunes and Peter, Paul & Mary (speaking of which!!)

Here's a post I wrote about music from my childhood.

Which musician have you ever wanted to be?

When I was 11 years old, I wanted to be Andrea McArdle so badly that I literally could not sleep at night. My love for her ruined my ability to enjoy my own sorry-ass life.

What do you sing in the shower?

I usually sing "Bill" in the shower from Showboat. I rarely vary my repertoire of shower-songs.

What is your favourite Saturday night record?

I don't know what this means, O British-speller-person I don't delineate music for different nights - I barely notice it's a different day, actually You know how people all commiserate in elevators and out and about about "hump day" and "whoo hoo friday night" etc. etc.? I don't do that. If you ever catch me laughing with someone and rolling my eyes, saying, with NO irony or sarcasm, "Thank God today is hump day!" just shoot me in the face. Thanks. Friday is like Monday is like Sunday. And whatever day you catch me on at this particular moment in time, I'm listenin' to Hellogoodbye!!

And your Sunday morning record?

See answer above. Days are days, music is music. Rufus Wainright can be listened to on ANY day.

"Prompted by a desire for fame, by a love of my work and by a conviction of my own talents..."

Letter from Mozart to the Archduke.

Pretty wild.

Gene Krupa

Awesome photo of the great drummer.

Here's Krupa in action - accompanying Barbara Stanwyck in "Drum Boogie" - from the movie Ball of Fire.

There are a couple of shots of him drumming in that particular clip that make me laugh out loud. He is so IN it. For example: Just WATCH him at around 2:16 in the clip ... like ... chomping gum, grinning, banging, his hair flapping - exhilarating!!

Another great clip - he's so nuts!! Freakin' sexy, too.

Clips to make one feel homesick.

Pat McCurdy is an old old friend of mine - I guess I can call him that now - we're certainly old enough, known each other for years, had major adventures (What's Up Doc quote: "What adventure did I have?... What adventure DID I have?")

-- and today I found some clips of Pat in action on Youtube. I hope it's okay I link to these, Mark?

Okay. So. Some clips I found. Just clips from various shows - look to be pretty recent, judging from the songs.

First clip:

The F*** Buddy Song:

Wow, you think he's into Gilbert & Sullivan? hahahahaha

Oh - and at the end, as he's coming to the big finale - he kind of makes his voice go whispery and intense - and to quote Mitchell: it is pure liquid bullshit (the highest of compliments in our world) - and it just makes me LAUGH.

Also:

Screw You

An all-time favorite. "I never thought forgetting you could be so easy ...."

And this one:

Oh Well

Listen to that audience. You are loved, Pat McCurdy!!

I can't explain why I find him so perpetually amusing and entertaining. I've been going to his shows for, good Lord, forever now? I don't even want to think of how long. I NEVER get sick of him.

There are gestures he does. Like there's one near the beginning of "Screw You" (22 seconds in, to be exact) - a kind of swoopy double-armed move - that is so STUPID, and yet - SO FUNNY. I am thinking about it now, and I am laughing out loud.

There are lyrics. There is audience participation. But there's also a constant whiff of Gilbert & Sullivan that floats around everything he does - that just ... it just strikes me as sooooo funny.

I am never over it. Love it.

One last clip below. Gives you KIND of an idea of the raucous-ness of his live shows. Also - the melodrama - he's so ... melodramatic. Like every song is part of Edwin Drood or something. It cracks me up!!

I Have My Moments

"spawn of Satan"? hahahahahaha

Listen to the audience chiming in. And I love how he basically demands more applause at the end. I love that about him. MORE, MORE, MORE!

"Peyton ... fucking Manning!"

Nothing like a Pat McCurdy show. Nothing at all.

Ann - when you read this, for whatever reason the following anecdote popped into my mind yesterday (Oh, I know why - because I kept writing "Learn boundaries" in my Dean Stockwell post):

I think it was at a show at Hoghead McDunna's and I believe Pat had some instant drunkenness going on - you know what I'm talking about. We loved it when he got instantly drunk. hahaha You and I were sitting there, having a great time - and he was coming up to a break, and he said something to the entire audience like, "I'm gonna take a 15 minute break now ... so please ... feel free to sexually approach one another ...."

You and I DIED ... we just were like: WHAT? Feel free to what?? and you shouted up at him: "LEARN BOUNDARIES."

I don't know - that came into my head yesterday and I burst out laughing, even though it's an anecdote from the Pre-Paleozoic Era of our lives!

One more story and then I'll be done: Speaking of his whole "more more more" quality - one of my favorite Pat stories (and they are legion) is this: He and I were in Rhode Island. We had gone to Foxwoods and had the most hysterical time gambling. I took pictures in the casino and got in trouble. I drove him around my old haunts. I showed him the house on Ocean Road where I lost my ............ luggage. He was enthralled. "Over there? Right over there?" Goofball. He spoke in a bogus New England accent and made jokes that everyone was named Ezekiah or Jebediah. "Ezekiah, batten down the hatches - a nor'easter's comin' down!" he kept declaring. So stupid. So fun. We went out for seafood at George's (Rhode Islanders in exile may swoon with homesickness now) - and we had beer and then went for a walk on the beach. It was a full moon. The beach was spectacular. I felt as though my homestate were showing off for Pat - putting on her finest clothes, letting him see her at her best. The tide was low, there was a huge moonpath in the water - we walked silently - it was absolutely gorgeous. A perfect moment. Pat was like a little kid, staring around him. Then he said, eagerly, "Wouldn't it be perfect if there were like little flopping dead fish on the sand?" (Okay, so first of all - I love it that THAT was what he thought was missing ... but that's not the point of the story.) He said that, and I stared around - at the full moon, and the ocean and the lighthouse - and said, "Man, it's never enough for you, is it?" And he just LOST it. My comment took him so by surprise - and I had just nailed him - not with scorn or contempt - it was a simple observation. Pat was dying. "It isn't! It's never enough!" Hours later, we were still laughing about the two of us walking thru this dream-like perfect scene of nature - and him wishing for more.

Why I love Tom

First of all, because of this (second snapshot down). Best prank EVER.

Second of all - because the last time I was at Beth and Tom's house - we were talking about music - and I mentioned my undying love of ELO and that the first album I had ever bought as a youngun was ELO's Time. (Post about all of that here.) I have just never gotten my act together to re-buy Time - although I have a large ELO collection on my iPod. Anyway, to me - it seemed like a casual moment - somethiing I didn't even make a big deal out of - but on Saturday night - when I went to the party at Beth and Tom's house (you know it's an Irish Catholic party when the local priest is there, in a T shirt and jogging shorts - and he knows your whole lilfe story even though he hasn't seen you in 10 years) - Tom comes over to me with 2 CDs, and says, "You left so quick the last time I didn't have a chance to give these to you." And there - was a burned CD of ELO's Time and also a huge compilation of mp3s - all of ELO's albums - that Tom had bought in the Philippines.

I mean: what????

This is a man who pays attention!!!

Bless people like that! They grease the wheels of life, they make you realize that people are, actually, good - and that we can connect with one another.

I have been listening to ELO NON-FREAKIN'-STOP ever since Saturday.

So Tom, I thank you!!

RIP dear dear Tommy Makem

Dear Tommy Makem: Your voice basically WAS my childhood. I still listen to those old Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem albums, and it's always the oddest feeling, a mixture of present/past. Am I a child? Are these records playing on a battered turntable as I dribble a popsicle down my T-shirt? Or is it now? These songs are woven into my life, they're just a part of who I am. I will leave it to others to talk about how the Clancy Brothers influenced an entire generation of singer/song-writers (Dylan is eloquent on this) ... For now, I mourn the loss. A fragile thread of connection to my childhood, the continuum.

I was a bit afraid of Tommy Makem when I was a child. Because he was NOT a Clancy and I just didn't really understand that. I don't know why I found it baffling, but I did. "What's HE doing there?" was my basic reaction. I also found his face slightly frightening. The Clancy brothers look like O'Malleys. They all could be my uncles. But Makem had something different to his look, and I guess it freaked me out. I remember my father saying to me, and I had to have been 6 or 7 - I must have announced, "I don't like Tommy Makem!" - and I remember my dad saying, "Ahh, but he's the real singer."

In time, I have come to know the truth of that statement.

Funny what you remember.

Rest in peace, Mr. Makem.

I wonder if you have any idea what you have truly meant to people. I hope so.

I'll play some Clancy Brothers and Makem tonight, in memoriam. I can't raise a glass because I'm not drinking ... but I will raise one in my head and my heart.

Thank you.

Here's a link to the Intl Herald Tribune obituary of this amazing artist.

Major nostalgia below:

Dan and I had identical childhoods. Beautifully said, Dan.

I forgot to mention:

I am now a member of the paparazzi. Obviously.

(The stories of the grizzled cynical hysterical press photographers around me - and what they say - and who they are ... will be saved for a later date. But I love it. These guys are hard, man ... and funny. Shouting up at Adam Levine, "GROUP HUG, GROUP HUG", etc.)

Jeff Buckley ... in memory

This is for my sister Jean, who called me at 7:30 am today to tell me that today is the 10 year anniversary of Jeff Buckley's death.

On a rainy night in Chicago many years ago, my friend Ted (now the BLOGGER Ted! ha!!) and I went to go see some singer I had never heard of at The Green Mill. His name was Jeff Buckley. He had a couple of tiny albums out - recordings of live shows he had done at Cafe Sin-� in New York - but he was about to have a large album released - the album that would be called Grace ... and so he was on the cusp of stardom. Ted had heard something about Buckley on NPR, I think - so we got tickets and met up to go see him.

It is, to date, the most amazing live show I have ever seen.

Jeff Buckley's voice is rightly famous - it has a kind of eerie Brideshead revisited choirboy-with-an-evil-streak sound - his "Corpus Christi Carol" on Grace has to be heard to be believed. What? That's a grown man?

But what I want to talk about is the VIBE of the show Ted and I saw. We still talk about it today. We still reference it.

A lot of people were pissed off at Jeff Buckley that night. But Ted and I were enraptured. Buckley was there, at the bar, mingling, hanging out. In looking back on it - I think he knew that stardom was about to hit. The tourbus parked outside was indicative of what was about to happen. But he seemed so ... small, almost - dwarfed by the bus, by the circumstances appraoching. He was freaked out. Freaked OUT. He had just given an interview to Rolling Stone and had apparently said wildly inappropriate things to the reporter. Success was coming, man ... and don't we all want success? Well, sure ... but what success actually means, in the reality of the day to day life, is not always welcome ... it's intimidating, it's scary, and artists oftentimes are people who have trouble with reality. That's why they're artists. Stardom comes with responsiblity, with lots of have-tos, with obligations, with loss of anonymity (Goldie Hawn talks about how she used to go to a little grubby bar in Malibu - before she was famous - have a glass of wine by herself, sit staring out at the waves, and write in her journal, working out any problems she might have at that moment ... it was one of her meditative healing things to do. To her, stardom was always a great great blessing ... but that doesn't mean she doesn't mourn that anonymous self ... the person who could go have a glass of wine alone, write in her diary, and not have someone take a picture of it, sell it to a tabloid and have it appear on the newsstand the next day: GOLDIE HAWN DRINKS ALONE - or whatever. Hawn is not an ungrateful person - but she does grieve that loss of solitude.) - Harrison Ford talks about this quite eloquently, and with no self-pity. "It took me years to be able to cope with the loss of privacy." It's a sacrifice. Not for some - some glory in the reality-TV aspect of stardom ... but for others it is a soul-crushing experience that separates them from their fellow man. Jeff Buckley was in that latter category.

So there he was, doing shots at the bar - talking with people, but ... you could sense things shifting. He wasn't "normal" anymore ... he couldn't blend in ... he was not anonymous. He had been playing shows at Cafe Sin-� ... a teeny joint in New York ... where the musicians who are gonna play sit out in the audience, guitars propped up against the wall ... and just walk up to the "stage" when it's their turn ... The blending of audience and performer is complete.

This world was already receding for Jeff Buckley on the rainy night at the Green Mill.

And like I said - success of course is desirable. Exciting. But it's more complex than that (for some).

I'm talking about this like I sat down and had a conversation with Jeff Buckley about his thoguhts and feelings. I did not. This is what I gleaned from his behavior that night - his brilliance of performing - his obviously self-destructive tendencies - but also his beautiful human need to connect. It was all going on at the same time. And ALL of it went into his performance. ALL of it. I have never seen anything like it. NOTHING was excluded. He didn't judge any of his own emotions - fear, anger, sadness, excitement - as inappropriate for his show. It was like watching a master-diva at work - a Judy Garland or someone like that. No matter what came up in Judy Garland - she used it. EVERYTHING was to be used. Other, more careful, artists ... craft performances in a more intellectual way. And many of these artists are brilliant, too, in their own way. But to see a raw nerve - at work - and to see him struggle - OPENLY - with all of this ... in front of us ...

Like I said, a lot of people ended up being pissed off at him because they wanted a conventional show. They didn't want him to talk in between sets about how freaked out he was, they didn't want him to suddenly stop a song he was singing, announce, "God, that sucks - let's start it over again ..." and then start the song over again ... They wanted a straight show. But Jeff Buckley couldn't have given a straight show if you paid him a million dollars. He was honest. He was true.

There were a couple of moments where I got goosebumps - because I was watching a man truly grappling with himself. In front of us.

And - I must mention this: he sang the HELL out of all of his songs. That voice.

As an actor - watching him up there - and watching how private he was, even in public (that's the definition of good performance art as far as I'm concerned - the ability to be private while people are watching you ...) was something I have never encountered before or since. He had no polish. NONE. The record company who had obviously funded this tour - and funded the tour bus - was probably trying to iron Jeff Buckley into some kind of appropriate behavior - Buckley seemed to feel the enormous institution behind him ... and there were obligations there, and responsiblities - he was no longer a free insane agent ... He had to show up, he had to get back on his mega-bus, he had to do the songs the record company wanted him to do ...

The show was chaotic. He got heckled at times. "SHUT UP - JUST SING THE SONG!" shouted from the back. Buckley didn't fight back - he didn't engage the heckler - not in a "hey, fuck you, man, I'm up here doing my thing" way ... He apologized - profusely - kept saying things like, "I suck ... Im so sorry ... I just suck ..."

But then - he'd sing "Lilac Wine" and you'd find yourself standing there, stunned at what you were witnessing and hearing.

Buckley was grappling with some demons there. He was drunk. He announced to us, at one point:

"You guys, I'm so sorry, but I am drunk. D - U - R - N - K. DRUNK!"

He started to sing Leonard Cohen's "Halleluia". But ... but ... he just wasn't being true ... it didn't feel true to him ... or something ... so he stopped the song. "Stop stop stop stop ..." It was like he was almost in pain - so far away was he from his own ideals. I am thinking of Odets in Hollywood, writing trash. Spiritual death. So what Ted and I saw (and we went out and talked about it all night afterwards, in a diner down the street - as the rain splashed against the windows) - was a man trying to imagine himself, work himself, closer to his own ideal in his head. And if that meant starting a song over - even though there was a whole crowd there - so be it. What we were seeing was not a finished product. He would not BE a 'product'. He was in process.

Buckley said at one point, "I want to give everybody their money back ... i am so sorry about the show tonight ... I suck so bad ..."

This could not have been farther from the truth. It was self-indulgent, yes - but any artists process MUST be self-indulgent. How else will you know what works, what failure feels like? You have to GO there. It was unconventional - that he would GO there during a show, and not during a rehearsal or whatever ... but to expect Jeff Buckley to be conventional in any way, shape, or form, is ludicrous. I watched him up there, alone by the mike - with that stunning James Dean-esque face - the innocence of it, but also the wildness - and how he would throw himself up towards those high notes, launching his voice up fearlessly into the octaves above - eyes closed, body slack and open - letting it happen, letting it come ... and I remember wondering: God, what is going to happen to this boy. This special wild boy. This is not just retrospect talking. The whole night was like that. Buckley told us about the interview with Rolling Stone, he seemed to be having a nervous breakdown almost - about the impending fame ... It was like we were getting to see him in a small club for the last time. He was going. He was going somewhere else now. Buckley felt the loss of that.

He handled the heckling with grace - but he also didn't change his approach. He didn't "get it together". One song he started to sing - and for whatever reason - he felt like he needed to sit down - so he crossed his legs, and sat down - with his back to the audience, and sang the whole song in that position. Beautifully, by the way.

It was his way, it seemed, of getting back into his private world.

His band was amazing. They just went wherever he went. If he stopped a song - they stopped, started over, whatever.

The best thing of it was this: They started to play one of his songs - I think it was "So Real". Like I said, I didn't know Buckley's music at that point. But I loved the song immediately - and his voice just pierced right through me. That voice. Holy God. Ted and I stood there, lost in it (many of us were lost in it - the hecklers in the crowd were few and far between, although they were loud) - and maybe after a verse and a chorus, Buckley said, in a "oh, fuckitalltohell" tone, "God, stop stop stop ... " He wasn't an indignant arrogant maestro. He seemed like a little boy, hurt, because his mom interrupted his make-believe game of knights and dragons with the prosaic request that he set the table. He was BUMMED that ... he wasn't being transported. He had a requirement of his own art. So anyway - he stopped the song. Which had sounded FINE to me. He was in pain. "God, that sucked ... we SUCK ... " (heckling) "I know, I know, you guys ... I'm so sorry ... Let's start it again ..."

They started the song again. And the hairs on the back of my neck rose up. It was as though Jeff Buckley had realized that going into the song he was a bit cloudy, in terms of motivation, or ... sound ... and he needed to clear the deck. He needed to FOCUS ... so that he could "go there" in the song. And that's what happened after the interruption. The band almost blew the roof of that tiny club. Jeff Buckley stood up there - a shaman, a madman, a choirboy with a direct line to heaven and hell - wailing to the skies, catapulting his voice up, down - his gestures free, fearless, uninhibited - and yet totally specific and germane to the song. When he "got it together" - by taking that pause - when he cleared the deck of everything extraneous and unnecessary to his performance - the genius that came, the power of that voice, gives me goosebumps to this day.

I was so sad when he died. So so sad. I imagined him ... swimming in the current, drunk, stars wheeling by overhead ... I can't say I was surprised - because there had been a wildness in him, and a potential for unhinged grief - you could sense it.

But I miss him. I miss the albums he didn't make.

To me, Jeff Buckley was always that wild pale-faced boy, doing shots at the bar, on a rainy night in Chicago, many years ago. A tour bus looming outside. Change coming, change coming so fast ... and yet ... in the moment, there was just him ... on stage ... trying to transport himself into the world that he imagined.

Professor Irwin Corey's latest quiz!

Presenting: his FOREMOSTLY AUTHORITATIVE SPRING BREAK MOVIE QUIZ .

I eagerly await these quizzes - they're always so terrific (and occasionally hard, too!) (Go check out Dennis' site to see the answers from his commenters - a smart group of people, really fun to hang out there.) I answered in his comments section - but elaborated over here, so I won't just be blabbing away on somebody else's bandwidth.

1) What movie did you have to see multiple times before deciding whether you liked or disliked it?

Breaking the Waves. I loved it the first time. Or thought I did. Imagine my surprise when I saw it a second time and realized that it was a piece of SHIT.

2) Inaugural entry into the Academy of the Overrated

Even just looking at that makes me angry.

3) Favorite sly or not-so-sly reference to another film or bit of pop culture within another film.

I love Cary Grant's ad-libs which refer to his other parts in other movies, or just to himself. Like in His Girl Friday when he is trying to describe the character played by Ralph Bellamy and he says, "He looks like that actor - you know - Ralph Bellamy". Or the whole "Jerry the Nipper" joke that starts in The Awful Truth and then is continued in the jail-cell scene in Bringing Up Baby. Katharine Hepburn tells the sheriff that poor David Huxley is ACTUALLY "Jerry the Nipper" - a criminal on the run - and David shouts at the sheriff, "Don't listen to her, officer. She's just making that up out of motion pictures she's seen!" [Yes. And that motion picture would be The Awful Truth - starring you.] I love his self-referential humor. It's an in-joke, I love it.

4) Favorite Michael Powell/Emeric Pressburger movie

I have only seen The Red Shoes and Black Narcissus and I have to go with Black Narcissus because I adore nuns, and I adore Deborah Kerr - and nuns having nervous breakdowns due to sexual tension - with the Himalayas in the background? And Deborah Kerr in a habit? Please count me in.

5) Your favorite Oscar moment

The clip of the streaker running behind David Niven in 1974 is one of my favorite live-television moments of all time. Also - Niven's brilliantly dry response to it:

Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.

To come up with that off the cuff? Live? Genius.

I also think Russell Crowe's acceptance speech was one my favorite speeches ever. He was very quiet and serious - and I remember this mainly: he spoke directly to unknown actors, people who want to do this crazy career - to keep going, not give up, don't give up hope ... he was humble and sweet, and I found it personally very inspirational.

6) Hugo Weaving or Guy Pearce?

Guy Pearce. I love Hugo Weaving too (especially in Proof which is when I first became aware of him) - but Pearce is more versatile, I think. Or at least he's gotten roles that get to show more versatility.

7) Movie that you feel gave you the greatest insight into a world/culture/person/place/event that you had no understanding of before seeing it

The first thing that comes to mind is Maria Full of Grace. I knew OF those girls ... but that movie delved into that whole world in a way that was truly eye-opening and horrible.

Another one that comes to mind is Children of Heaven - which was the first Iranian movie I saw, actually (Kate - member how much fun we had going to see that?) - and now I'm a huge fan of Iran's films, and see as many of them as I can - but that one was the first. I ADORE that film.

Oh, and also Eiga Joyu. I saw this with my friend Ted in Chicago - and I've never forgotten it. A "biopic" if you will - about Kinuyo Tanaka, Japan's first big movie star - a silent film star. She was kind of the Lillian Gish of Japan. Like if you see Lillian Gish's work now - there is still a kind of naturalism to her, she doesn't have that Theda Bara ghoulish over-acting thing. Gish was a natural, and beloved because of that. Tanaka (and there is some footage of her films incorporated into Eiga Joyu) - was not mannered, or melodramatic. She was a true actress. Anyway, I knew nothing about Tanaka the woman until seeing Eiga Joyu, and now I'm SO glad I know about her.

Kinuyo Tanaka in "Dragnet Girl"

8) Favorite Samuel Fuller movie

I've only seen The Big Red One - which was fantastic. It's actually on the ol' Netflix queue as we speak, cause I want to see it again.

9) Monica Bellucci or Maria Grazia Cucinotta?

Monica Bellucci

10) What movie can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Strangely, Murder by Numbers is always a treat for me. There was a time when that was in constant rotation on some movie channel - and every time I surfed and tripped over it, I would stop and watch it. And every time I just lost myself in that story.

Also, if I'm having a blue day, and I'm channel surfing and I trip over The Cutting Edge - I then turn into the happiest girl in the world.

11) Conversely, what movie can destroy a day�s worth of good humor just by catching a glimpse of it while channel surfing?

Forrest Gump. Sorry, I'll stop bitching about my hatred for this movie someday.

12) Favorite John Boorman movie

I have a soft spot for Excalibur - which I saw at the age of 13 or 14 at Edwards (my RI friends will know what that means). But Deliverance is a great film.

13) Warren Oates or Bruce Dern?

I actually have never been a big Bruce Dern fan. I think he pushes too much (like in some of the final scenes in Coming Home where all I saw was a histrionic actor - rather than an angry husband). So I'll go with Warren Oates.

14) Your favorite aspect ratio

I have never thought of this before, not really - but I suppose I need to go with the 4x3 Academy Standard one - and that's only because most of my favorite movies (and, in my opinion, the best movies ever made) came from before 1950. I love the wide-screen too - and I get why it is superior, in many many ways - imagine some movies without it that wide-screen? Hard to do. But I'll go with 4x3, just out of allegiance with my favorite oldies.

15) Before he died in 1984, Francois Truffaut once said: �The film of tomorrow will resemble the person who made it.� Is there any evidence that Truffaut was right? Is it Truffaut�s tomorrow yet?

First of all, I love Truffaut. Let's just get that out of the way. I think that to some degree what Truffaut says has always been true (if I'm understanding him correctly). Like - a good Howard Hawks movie has the stamp of Howard Hawks on it. You can TELL he directed it. The independent directors in the 1970s didn't invent personal directorial stamp (although some of them THOUGHT they did). And I guess I think that nowadays - it's NOT as true that movies resemble the maker. Not enough personal films being made - too diluted.

16) Favorite Werner Herzog movie

I am gonna have to go with Grizzly Man as my favorite. It's been almost a year now and I still cannot get that film out of my head.

17) Favorite movie featuring a rampaging, oversized or otherwise mutated beast, or beasts

For me, there can only be one:

No contest

18) Sandra Bernhard or Sarah Silverman?

Sandra Bernhard for this movie alone.

19) Your favorite, or most despised, movie clich�

My favorite AND my most despised is the Slow Clap. Sometimes it is used to good effect and sometimes it is mortifying and you are embarrassed for everyone involved. The Slow Clap should be used very sparingly. For example, to my taste - it works very well in that last scene Lucas.

It's a cliche, yes, but when it is done sincerely - and when the movie earns it - it can be great.

However: if you haven't earned the Slow Clap? PLEASE don't use it.

20) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-- yes or no?

No. For one reason only.

I am a huge fan of this franchise - to this day - but I had a hard time getting past her - the character and the actress - and how she obviously was NOT the right "foil" for Indiana Jones. I wanted to smack her and tell her to shut the fuck up. Stop whining! Indiana Jones needed a Howard Hawks woman - which is what he got in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Classic old-school 1930s movie romance. I sat there, watching Temple of Doom, listening to that shrieking wench go on and on and on ... and all I could see, like a desperate mirage, was .....

21) Favorite Nicholas Ray movie

In a Lonely Place. Best Bogart performance ever. See it, if you haven't. I wrote about it here.

22) Inaugural entry into the Academy of the Underrated

I know Jeff Bridges is a big star and everything - it's not like he's suffering in obscurity - but I truly think he does not get the props he deserves. What props should he get? How about: Best American Actor Alive. THAT'S the prop I think he deserves.

23) Your favorite movie dealing with the subject of television

Network - but I also love Broadcast News

24) Bruno Ganz or Patrick Bauchau?

Patrick Bauchau.

25) Your favorite documentary, or non-fiction, film

I think Grizzly Man is one of the best I've ever seen.

26) According to Orson Welles, the director�s job is to �preside over accidents.� Name a favorite moment from a movie that seems like an accident, or a unintended, privileged moment. How did it enhance or distract from the total experience of the movie?

This is one of my favorite questions of all time, and deserves a whole post. Arthur Penn speaks about the "happy accidents" that occur during making a film and that often those "accidents" are the moments people end up remembering the most. The medium of film is perfect for those accidental moments ... if the director allows for it (and many of them do not).

The first thing that comes to mind is the moment when the guy at the table in Woman Under the Influence spills his entire plate of spaghetti into his lap. It looks like it HAD to have been an accident - I've seen it a bazillion times ... and every single time I MARVEL at how ... real it looks. His embarrassment is so silent and yet so palpable. It feels like it couldn't have been planned. And if it was planned? Then it's even more of a genius moment.

I have to think more about this - there are so many examples!!

27) Favorite Wim Wenders movie

28) Elizabeth Pena or Penelope Cruz?

Elizabeth Pena

29) Your favorite movie tag line (Thanks, Jim!)

I liked Godzilla's tag line:

SIZE DOES MATTER

30) As a reader, filmgoer, or film critic, what do you want from a film critic, or from film criticism? And where do you see film criticism in general headed?

1. Know your field, please. If I sense a critic doesn't have context, then it's very hard to take him/her seriously. Their knowledge is shallow, they are dilettantes rather than experts.

2. The critics who know how to talk about acting - and what specifically an actor does that makes something good or not - are like GOLD to me. They're rare, and I cherish those critics.

I spoke about my tastes in film critics here .

EXTRA CREDIT: Do movies still matter?

Nothing like a good movie. Be it Persona or Bring It On. If it's good, it's good. And that matters. To me, anyway.

Here's a link to the quiz on Dennis' awesome site.

Incongruous iPod shuffle

iPod shuffle hilarity. Just for fun, I took down note of the songs that came up today on "shuffle". It's too funny - as I was writing this crap down to share on the blog (because it's fun, and because I love to hear people's music choices - and what they like, or don't like) - but anyway - I read somewhere else today where someone was complaining about having to read about someone's private life - "Why do I have to read about you snuggling with your boyfriend?" Uhm - the operative word in that question is "have"? Who says you HAVE to read it? Do you even hear yourself? Don't be a moron. If you find people babbling about their personal lives silly - then ... uhm ... go read The Wall Street Journal. But it is amusing to me - because I did hesitate to put this up - it is the definition of banal. And personal. Why should anyone care about what the freck comes up on my iPod shuffle? Oh well. Sue me. I find my own life endlessly fascinating.

Moving right along.

The strange incongruity of today's Shuffle choices. With some commentary. Scratched down on a notepad as I waited in various lines for various reasons throughout Manhattan this morning. As I raced along on the ellipticals, etc. The shuffle was amusing me. So I'm sharing it.

I'll add to it as I go.

You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You - Dean Martin (nothing like walking through a sunny morning, melting snow banks, birds going NUTS in the bare tree branches, the Hudson so bright with reflected sunshine that it is blinding you ... and hearing this song. Seriously. Beautiful.)

Comfort Eagle - Cake (ha. I LOVE this song. It's so audacious - especially the beginning of it, those chords.)

Ball & Biscuit - White Stripes (talk about audacious. I love this one too.)

Baby, It's Cold Outside - Dean Martin (More Dino! I love this one because the girl's part in this song is not sung by ONE female, but a whole chorus of women. So it's like Dino is trying to convince 20 women to sleep over his apartment because it's "cold outside". Man, that guy is smooth. He makes it look so easy that people forget just how good he really is. I have Mr. Bingley to thank for this Christmas with the Rat Pack CD. I love it!!)

Glory - Liz Phair (this is from "Exile to Guyville" - which, as far as I'm concerned, doesn't have one bad song on it.)

Conversations with my 13 Year Old Self - Pink (sniff. I love this one. I love her voice, too. It is the perfect rock and roll voice. Perfect pitch. Perfect tone. She's amazing.)

Gambling Man - Pat McCurdy (during some song he played last Friday, I turned to Jen and said, "Uhm ... can you tell he's into Gilbert & Sullivan?")

If the House is Rockin' - Lee Roy Parnell (yeah, whatever, this is okay. Not as good as Stevie Ray Vaughn though.)

Kim - Eminem (I think this song - and his performance of it - is absolutely brilliant. I can't think of another star - rapper or otherwise - who would do such a thing. Would act out such a fantasy - and let us in on that part of himself. I can see people letting us in on those fantasies where they always come off looking like a big tough guy. You know: wish fulfillment kind of stuff. But that's not what's happening here. THAT'S why I think this piece is scary brilliant. He starts crying - the tears turn to rage - he has a moment where he sobs - and it's real - I think Marshall did this song in one take - and you can tell. But anyway - he sobs - "You think I'm ugly, don't you ... you think I'm ugly ..." It's naked. He's screaming at one point: "I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU ..." and then it all just shatters, and he starts sobbing, "God, I love you ..." I seriously have said those words in exactly that order. Insisting I hate someone who has hurt me - and then crumbling into what is really going on, which is that I am as hurt as a tiny little girl. The song has an internal and emotional logic to it ... it's terrifying, sure - it's a fantasy. I have some pretty terrifying fantasies too. Or I would call it more of an exorcism. It's messed UP. And there's also a weird humor to it. The sing-song chorus, where he sounds completely psychotic. "SO LONG. BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG ..." It makes me laugh. It's so sick. But here's why I think he's so damn brilliant: what I hear throughout is the hurt. He's hurt. Sure we get the cover-up - which is the rage - but he lets us in there on the hurt. Again, I can't think of anybody else out there - especially male rappers - who would do that in such a naked way. It's strange though, to listen to this psychopathic exorcism as you stroll through the melty snow, buying coffee, and shopping for pillows at TJ Maxx. You feel like you will be arrested at any moment for even listening to the damn thing)

Perfect World - Liz Phair (again. It's rare that I come across a Liz Phair song that I am not psyched to hear. This one is off "whitespacechocolateegg" and I love it.)

U Got the Look - Prince (Please. Prince. What else needs to be said. The dude is beyond awesome. Always and forever.)

Angry Inch - John Cameron Mitchell (hahahaha. I love the self-involved tortured line at the very beginning, in the vague Eastern Block accent: "To be free ... one must give up a little part of oneself." This song makes me wince. Just cause of the topic. Ouch??)

Rich, Young, Pretty & Tan - Pat McCurdy (ah. Memories of Summerfest - and teaching Phil and Kenny how to jitterbug for our "choreography" that Ann and I made up - hahahahaha)

Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews (this is the live version from the Live at Luther College double disc - which I can honestly say is one of the most self-indulgent albums of all time. I do enjoy some of it - but others? Yawn. The live version of Crash Into Me on this album - with just 2 guitars playing - no other instruments - is better than the "real" one, though, I think. I LOVE it.)

Comedy Impersonations - Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin & Sammy Davis - hahahahahaha One of their age-old bits. Sammy keeps trying to do impressions, and the other two dudes keep taking over. Frank as Cagney ("you dirty no-good ..." etc.) Dean Martin as a ridiculous and very funny Cary Grant ("Judy Judy Judy you cahn't take a baby out of a man's life and expect him to go on living the way he has been ..." - What? When did Cary Grant ever say such a thing? Dino is so funny. It makes me laugh every time I hear it.) Oh and Dino as Clark Gable. Classic. "I'm crazy about you, Scarlett ..."

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson - Oh HELL yes.

Master of Puppets - Metallica - now this is the version off the S & M album - the live one - the live concert with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra backing them up. I think it might be my favorite of all of their albums. The ROAR (literally) of the crowd - the strings, the horns ... the SOUND ... Awesome.

What Child Is This? - some woman This is off one of my favorite Christmas albums of all time - it's a live concert Jane Siberry gave at the Bottom Line (sniff, sniff. The Bottom Line) ... with a whole cast of characters - and the album is a double album, Siberry does monologues - tells us about going to midnight mass - other great stories - but then there are the songs. Live. Lots of different singers. Whoever sings the "What Child Is This?" (which is one of my favorite carols) is obviously a black gospel singer. She's marvelous. Deep rich sincere voice.

Good Times, Bad Times - Led Zeppelin Let's give it up for Led Z. Sometimes I find their songs too arduous (or sexy, let's be honest) for casual listening. Like it comes on and I feel like doing crazy shit left and right, no matter where I am. ha. I love the opening to this song.

Overture - "Big River" - this is one of the times when you just have to laugh at what the Shuffle brings up. Led Zeppelin to the freakin' OVERTURE of "Big River"

The Stuttering Lovers - The Clancy Brothers - hahahahahahaha Again with the ridiculous-ness of shuffle - All together now!
A wee bit over the lee, me lads
A wee bit over the green
The birds went into the poor man's corn
I fear they'll never be se-se-se-seen, melads
I fear they'll never be seen
Then out came a bonny wee lass
And she was so fair
And she went into the poor man's corn
To see if the birds were the-the-the-there, melads
To see if the birds were there
Etc.
Exeunt.

You Must Trust Someone - Pat McCurdy - lovely - this is from Intimate Pat - which reminds me that someone at the show last week asked me to burn that CD for him. I will do so tonight. Pat sings like a freakin' BANSHEE on this one.

Big Fat Idiot - Pat McCurdy - Okay, okay. Enough with the Pat. However, this song is so stupid and so funny. The chorus: "I'm stupid as shit and I'm proud of it."

Piano Concerto in E Flat - Mozart - Ha. Please look at the lack of segue from the song before to this one. I'm shaking with laughter.

You Oughta Know - Alanis Morrisette - this is actually the version she did on the Grammys that year. With violins in the background ... I think she was already backing off from the true immature rage in that song - feeling embarrassed by it. I got the sense that she was trying to be a bit more above the childish sentiments expressed (no less truthful, by the way - just because they're childish doesn't mean they're human or shouldn't be expressed). We all think, at one point, "I am here to remind you of the mess you left ... IT'S NOT FAIR ..." etc. Or whatever - I certainly have thought of those things. I'm feeling that right now. I know it's childish, but whatever. Some shit is just flat out unfair and it pisses me off. If you think you're "above" that crap, then good on you for being so evolved and grown-up. But that's why we have artists who can express stuff that maybe we ain't so proud of. But Morrissette has pretty much declared that she's way over that song - you know, now she's all "let's all love each other in an eternal loving utopia" - and that's fine - I'm not all that crazy about "You Oughta Know" actually - definitely not as much as I am about some of her other songs - but I really like the Grammy's version of it for some reason.

Forever Texas - Robbie Williams - I love this guy. ROBBIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME FROM REHAB?? ROBBIE. PLEASE GET WELL. THERE ARE THOSE OF US IN AMERICA WHO LOVE YOU. WE LOOOOOVE you. The guy is completely insane. And cheesy. And outrageous. And campy. And offensive. I love it all. Excerpt from the song:
The reason I'm doing you is cause your friend said No
I've been suicidal since God I don't know when
So get down on your knees
Let's say our prayers
Amen
Baby I'm crazy
Maybe I'm lazy
Amaze me.

Cheese-ball. Love him. I hope he gets his act together. I love his whole schtick.

11:11 - Rufus Wainwright Ahhhh, I love this one. Lilting, lyrical, with a strain of melancholy ... I adore him.

Easy and Slow - Clancy Brothers -I just love the Clancy Brothers but I have so much of them in my library that they do come up quite a bit. They barge their way in all over the place. Along with Liz Phair and Pat McCurdy. I mean, I just love a song that begins with the line:
"It was down by Christchurch that I first met with Annie ..."
And you know, you can just take it from there. To moments like this: "I rolled up her petticoat easy and slow ... and I rolled up my sleeve ... to buckle her shoe ..."

Muddy Water - from "Big River" I still get a strange thrill with this song. Huck and Jim going down the river, singing a rousing duet.
"I got a need for goin' someplace ... I got a need to climb upon your back and ride ..."
White voice and black voice - both male - singing harmony. There's something exquisite and kind of emotional about it. Great song. However ... coming on the heels of yet another Clancy Brothers song ... it just makes me laugh.

Act One Finale - from "Urinetown" LOVE this. Ridiculous, TOTALLY over-the-top - operatic, suspenseful ... Great. I remember seeing the show and laughing out loud as the song came to a close - because it was so unbelievably over the top - with sopranos SHRIEKING ...
"Don't give us tomorrow ... just give us today ..." Kind of a parody of the end of Act I of Les Miz ... very funny.

Thank God It's Christmas - Queen - I LOVE this Christmas song. Freddie Mercury just WAILS. He reminds me of Judy Garland. Guy said to me when we were watching some clip of Garland sing: "She sings every song as though she is going to die immediately after she finishes." It has that urgency, that passion ... that life-force ...

Peaches and Cream - Domestic Science Club You know, this reminds me. I need to delete this song. I liked it for about 2 seconds many years ago ... and now it annoys me. It's from a CD of some women's music festival - and actually there are a LOT of songs on the CD that are awesome - Cheryl Wheeler, people I love - but this song? Ew. I want to put a frog in these girls beds. Get all tomboy on their girlie asses.

Kill You - Eminem. I swear to God. "Kill You" is the next song after the song about wanting a man like "peaches and cream". I am dying. SO ABSURD. The chicks (or, like Pat McCurdy would say - the "chyx") from Domestic Science Club would freak OUT. I love Eminem. Does the word "Vicodin" appear in any other song, I wonder?

Why Don't You Do Right? - Sinead O'Connor - this is from one of my favorites of her albums. God, I love her. Even when she willingly ruined her career. Trashed it. Quite astonishing to me, still. However - in my opinion - the albums she came out with AFTER trashing her career - were far superior to the ones before. Universal Mother is one of my favorite albums, and I love Faith and Courage too. Some of my favorite songs are from those albums. And yes, Sinead, I will keep supporting you, even now, even though I don't really like reggae, and now, apparently, you feel that you are Bob Marley reincarnated. I'll stick up for that crazy bald broad, I don't care. But anyway - this is from her album of covers - Gershwin and Cole Porter -and other standards. It's a bit hit or miss, for me - but this particular song 'Why don't you do right'? The big band? Her crooning kind of scary voice? Where she turns nearly every song into some kind of ominous threat? She's not pleading "Why don't you do right?" She is rather frightening as she asks that question ... over and over and over again. It takes on a kind of Fatal Attraction feeling to it. It's terrific.

Song for Ireland - Dick Gaughan - falcons, silver wings, green green fields, sing a song for Ireland, freedom, brides, western shores ... You want to puke with the "oh, sing a song for Ireland" sentimentality. But dude can SING, dude can SING.

Love of My Life - Queen I mean. Queen. Honest to GOD. Can we just all sit here and contemplate the amazing-ness of QUEEN for a second? I never get over them. I'm never "over" Queen.

Little Girls - Dorothy Loudon - from "Annie" - original Broadway sountrack Okay. You want to see a Broadway workhorse bat one out of the freakin' park? Check out Loudon here. This is a SICK song. Miss Hannigan is SICK. The trills, the self-involved swoops, the sudden "grrr" of hatred ... and then when she goes all gutteral at the top of her register:
"Some women are drippin' with diamonds
Some women are drippin' with pearls ..."
Dorothy Loudon is an absolute LUNATIC and thank God for her.

I Was Hoping - Alanis Morrissette I like her. Don't hate me. I don't like ALL of her songs ... but I do like this one. I have no idea what the hell she is talking about because she has that weird stupid way of breaking up words and syllables so that her lyrics are incomprehensible ... but whatevs. It's got a good tune.

Carry That Weight - The Beatles For some reason - hearing this song out of sequence with the other ones on Abbey Road makes it sound strange. It doesn't seem like a real stand-alone song.

Excuse Me Mr. - No Doubt I think I over-listened to this song when it first came out. This whole album, actually. But I love Gwen. I look forward to her coming back to the No Doubt fold because Gwen? Your latest album? It's a stinkbomb. Honestly. Come on back, girlie. You've got fans out here who are sticking by you as you experiment. That's cool. But enough. Mkay? Enough.

Original of the Species - U2 Yawn. And I'm a HUGE U2 fan. Not really wacky about that particular album, though - there's just something ... muted about it. Or something.

Ebony Eyes - The Everly Brothers Basically I am now laughing at my own music collection. I do love this song, though. I remember being a bit tormented about it when I first heard it as a kid. Noooooooo!!! Flight 1203!!! It's doomed! "Beautiful ebony eyes" goin' down! Nooooo! I mean, honestly. And then the bridge, with the "monologue" - the way they used to do in songs back then. A sort of exposition, if you will. hahaha "The airplane was late ... the beacon whipped through the sky ... as if it were searching for ..." Chorus: "EBONY EYES ...." etc. Poor flight 1203.

Go Now - Patty Griffin You know, I'm not crazy about this album (it's the "Flaming Red" album) - not compared to her first one - but I do like this song. It suits her. That kind of ... bluesy big-band-y sound. Patty Griffin is, what, 5 feet tall? Huge voice, a voice to be admired. So so fluid and expressive.

Rock Me - Liz Phair - see what I mean with the Liz Phair?? This is actually one of my all-time favorite songs of hers. The lyrics always remind me of my relationship with Michael. Or something about the spirit of the song. Love it.

Been It - The Cardigans - For some reason I bought one of the Lilith Fair albums - it's actually a double album - and there are a lot of women on there I love - but the album itself sucks. I don't know what it is ... the live versions of the songs I LOVE just ... It's totally lacking. The exception on the entire album is this song - "Been It" by the Cardigans. They ROCK, first of all ... it's the opposite of introspective or poet-girl dreaming by a rainy window ... there's a BEAT there ... Great song. I actually don't know much about the Cardigans - but I saved that Lilith Fair album for this one song alone.

All Babies - Sinead O'Connor - this is from "Universal Mother" - aweeesome album, post SNL debacle - i think it might be one of my favorite albums ever made, actually. That's not too hyperbolic. This is one of the most haunting songs on the whole thing. It makes me want to cry.
"All babies are born saying God's name ..." Haunting tune. Terrific album, all in all.

No News - Lonestar I love this song. It's on every mix I make for myself ... I just love it. It's so funny, the lyrics are great - and there's just something really catchy about it. "on the road with Pearl Jam" ... LOVE it. Great song.

Tonight We Fly - by The Divine Comedy Oh how I love The Divine Comedy. And this song especially. What a VOICE this guy has. I first became aware of him because Siobhan put his wonderful "Gin-Soaked Boy" on a mix she made for me. She had seen him perform in Ireland and just fell in love with him. Then - a couple years ago - Pat McCurdy - the guy who keeps barging his way into this mix - sent me 'The Best of Divine Comedy' - completely randomly. He thought I would like it. Every. Song. is special. One of my favorite albums of all time.

Red Football - by Sinead O'Connor Wow. It's a Sinead type day. It's also another song from Universal Mother. This is a furious song (does she sing any other kind??) I LOVE this song. It's terrifying.

Spanish Lady - The Irish Tenors Sue me. I like this album. Even though it's stupid. And yes. I like this one especially. HUGE horns in the back ... MAJOR band going on ... I find it quite satisfying. And yes. Self-indulgent and stupid.
"Whack for the toora loora lay.
Whack for the toora loora laddy,
Whack for the toora loora lay ...."
Geek. I am a geek. Sinead would hate that this song came after hers. Ha.

If Love Is a Red Dress - Maria McKee This chick can sing. What a voice. Man. It could cut through glass. Powerful. The song itself is forever linked to the "get out the gimp" scene in my head ... so it always gives me a shiver of medieval torture chamber terror. More incongruity.

Dumb - Nirvana This reminds me. It was just Kurt Cobain's birthday. Happy birthday, you gorgeous genius dumbass. I love this song. Classic Nirvana.

Something - The Beatles Another Abbey Road classic! This one is definitely a stand-alone song. That guitar swoop up the scale ... I don't know how to talk about music ... the phrase that begins the song, and that keeps repeating itself throughout ... I find it transportive. With Ringo's drumming beneath it. To me, it is perfection.

Oh George - The Foo Fighters This is from that astonishing first album - that they recorded in, what, 3 days? Where Dave Grohl basically came out of the huge shadow he had been put behind ... UnbeLIEVable. I still remember when this album came out. How people whispered about it, talked about it with this hushed amazement ... and the songs!!!

Come Together - The Beatles - I think my iPod has a crush on "Abbey Road" today. This song used to really really scare me when I was a child. I don't know why. Toe jam? Feel his disease? Scary. I thought these might be mean men. I loved the Beatles, but this song scared the crap out of me.

Lo and Behold - James Taylor - This song reminds me so much of my childhood. That album, his face, the songs on it ... it's just an amazing time-traveler to me.

Nightmare - from "The Aviator" soundtrack - This is the music that was playing as Hughes slowly went insane in the screening room. A long slow jazzy film noir-ish sound. But I can't hear it as just a song. All I can see in my mind's eye is Leo DiCaprio, naked, with long fingernails, a long beard, and milk bottles full of urine lined up against the wall. Nice!!

Cupid Complained to Venus - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers Ahhhh. I am hard pressed to think of a Mike Viola song that I don't like. I have Siobhan to thank for introducing me to him. Marvelous.

Ruin My Life - Pat McCurdy - This is the "Gilbert & Sullivan" song from last week's show - I think he opened with it. (Okay, just checked. Yup. He opened with it. I am insane. At least I'm not alone.) People go NUTS when he plays this. We all know all the words. We sing like maniacs. We jump up and down. We chant like members of some bizarre cult.

Holiday - Green Day - I think this might be one of my favorite songs written in the last 10 years. Maybe even 15. Unbelievably great song.

When You Say Nothing At All - by Alison Krauss This song has been pretty much co-opted by "Notting Hill" - which is fine by me, since I love that movie more than words can express. No shame. Great film. Krauss has less of a sentimental take on the song than whoever sings it in the soundtrack to that movie - I know it's someone famous, but I'm not really a fan, I guess, whoever the dude is ... Krauss' voice is so pure. I love it.

I'll Crawl Back To You Again - Pat McCurdy - I swear, he comes up this often in any shuffle and ... it's a bit much, frankly, but what can I do?? I have 25 albums of his with 500 songs per album, or whatever. The odds are that he'll come up. He and the Clancy Brothers should go on tour.

Roll Over Beethoven - The Beatles This is off of an awesome mix my brother gave me for Christmas. Awesome early Beatles. Makes you want to have guilt-ridden yet kind of hot sex in the backseat of your boyfriend's car after some sock hop. And then you cry as you pull your dress down over your knees. And have him hold you and tell you he loves you. Before he drops you off at your house and you go inside and curl up in bed, happy and mushy inside, but also wondering if you're now a slut. And he goes out and meets his friends and brags about what he just did with you. But inside, he's feeling all mushy too, and he can't wait to see you again. That's what this song makes me want to do.

The Needle Has Landed - Neko Case I have Carrie to thank for introducing me to her - and to this song in particular. Carrie told me she thought I would like it ... and I do. Beautiful.

Prologue to "Ragtime" - I love this musical. I love the prologue, too - it's robust, it's not just orchestration - you get the whole set-up of the musical: the white people, the black people, and the immigrants ... The music reflects the shifting characters. It's quite intricate, and also rather catchy, I must say.

High Fidelity - Elvis Costello & the Attractions I think I over-listened to Elvis Costello about 20 years ago - seriously - he was ALL I could listen to for ... what ... 2 years? Insane. I've seen him a ton in concert ... as much as I can ... but I kinda burned myself out on the Elvis thing. So I can only take him in small doses ... which bums me out. I love "High Fidelity".

Living On My Own - Queen The beginning of this song ... I just love it. I could see it be the background music to some Miami Vice movie nightclub scene - with some horrible murder happening on the dance floor - as everyone gyrates around, strobe-lit, oblivious.

Not So Bad At All - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers From the nearly perfect album "Hang On Mike". Or no. Not "nearly" perfect. It is perfect.

Send Me The Pillow You Dream On - Dino LOVE him doing this. Makes me feel all romantic and stuff. You know. Stuff.

Coalhouse's Soliloquy - from "Ragtime" Coalhouse Walker goin' nuts, getting ready to kick some ass! I actually never saw this show on Broadway - kinda bummed I missed it. Audra McDonald - man, oh man, wish I had seen her!

The Unwelcome Guest - Billy Bragg & Wilco I love this whole album. Mermaid Avenue. It always makes me think of Cashel's birth and his first year of life - because we all were so into that album during that year - and we would play it as we sat and watched infant Cashel do the most AMAZING EARTH-SHATTERING things like drool, gurgle, and play with his toes.

Saturday Night - The Raunch Hands
Oh you blind fool
You stupid fool
You fool why can't you see
That's nothing but a chamber pot me mother sent to me
Well many a mile I traveled
A thousand miles or more
But a chamber pot size six and seven eighths I never saw before.

Welcome to the O'Malley childhood.

What Kind of Woman - from "Ragtime" Mmmkay, guess we're having a "Ragtime" kind of day. The lovely Marin Mazzie being all tortured about the "newborn Negro child" and mother standing on her doorstep. But you can also hear a smidgeon of anger because her husband leaves her without instructions on what to do. A bit of a boring song, out of context, gotta be honest. Now a song like "Til We Reach That Day" from Ragtime? That song is a flat out good song, no matter where it falls in the plotline of the musical.

A Little More Love - Olivia Newton John AWESOME SONG. AWESOME AWESOME. I love her voice. I love the jamming ridiculous guitars beneath everything. I love the chorus of a million Olivia Newton Johns joining in ... I adore this song.

River of No Return - Marilyn Monroe Ohhhh, I love love love it when Marilyn shows up on shuffle. She is just so liquidy delicious. I love her vibrado - and I love it when she has a chorus of male voices behind her. It's perfect. She shouldn't sing with women backups ever. She's too powerful.

Rufus on the ascendant

[This photo is actually from Rufus re-creating Garland's concert at Carnegie Hall]

So Rufus just played the Palladium.

Garland's 1961 legendary comeback concert at Carnegie Hall became one of the most popular live albums of all time, winning five Grammys.

Wainwright, who is as self-confident as it is possible to be without running for president, had the brass neck to perform the exact same show on the same New York stage last June, where it was received favourably enough for him to bring it to London and Paris this month.

He has got away with it because this was not an inferior singer putting himself on the same pedestal as a legend.

Honest. to GOD.

Seriously, the balls. The unbelievable BALLS. I LOVE him for it. I've loved him ANYway - and seeing him play on Valentine's Day 2002 at Town Hall here in New York was just really special ... but to watch him take his career to THIS place? Who else??? Who else would do this??? To quote Mitchell: "He is just HAVING IT ALL right now." Rufus is totally having it all. And "having it all" probably ALSO means: "having a TON of sex, or at least the OPPORTUNITY to have tons of sex, whenever he wants it." I mean ... this dude is a hot property. BeLOVED by a very specific set of people. Also, having seen him in person, I can attest to the fact that the boy loves his wine. He loves a party. Great banter, funny, anecdotalist, and not at all uptight. He loves to chatty chat, flirty flirt, spilling red wine on his fantastic boots by accident, and laughing, as though he's about to get in trouble. He's adorable. He is having so much sex. You just know it. But anyway: LOVE him. I just love all the descriptions of it too ... not trying to COMPETE with Judy. Not even trying to put himself in the same pantheon - although, just by the scope of the project, obviously he is ... but as a FAN. As a guy who has become successful enough that he can say, "Okay ... wanna know what I want to do next? I want to re-create Judy Garland's big come-back at the London Palladium ... wouldn't that be fun??" and people say back, "Yes, Rufus, that sounds great!"

Sigh. AWESOME.

I can only hope that these performances are released on DVD so I can catch a bit of Rufus magic.

Love it, too - I've been surfing the Web looking for people who were there at the Palladium, just to get their reactions - and I came across an article that was titled: 'WAINWRIGHT EXPLAINS HIS GARLAND OBSESSION'.

That made me chuckle.

As though it needs to be explained. As though it is just so WEIRD to be obsessed with, uhm, one of the greatest singers who has ever lived? God ... you're obsessed with Judy Garland??? God. That is so WEIRD.

Also - just from having seen him live - he's got the most endearing personality. You just fall in love with him. He's funny, self-deprecating - but then when it comes time to put up or shut up - my GOD, that voice. And his presence! He's having it all, is basically what I'm saying. And I think it's awesome.

"Are there any regrets?"

Christine Lavin. Songwriter, folk singer, supporter of the independent folk scene, a total legend. My group of college friends all used to be so so into her, I've seen her play a bazillion times and I have discovered other musicians I absolutely adore because of her. Cliff Eberhardt mostly - God. I just love that man and his music. But also Lucy Kaplansky. These are people I see whenever they come within a 50 mile radius of New York City - but it all goes back to Lavin. I got into her in college - and introduced her music to my boyfriend at the time - and he loved it. We saw her play a million times together. If you've never heard any of her stuff - I highly recommend it. Some of it is absolutely hilarious - her song about only dating guys with air conditioners really hit a nerve with me. And her song (a true story) about playing baseball for the first time - as an adult - and the WHIRLWIND of ensuing emotions is a true classic - and it brings me to tears at the end almost every time I hear it. She also has a way of capturing tiny moments ... snapshots ... indelible images ... the fleeting quality of beauty, or love, or peace ... She really knows how to write about that stuff.

Here's the lyrics to one of her songs.

The Kind of Love You Never Recover From
� 1990 Christine Lavin

I know a couple
She sits in a rocking chair working puzzles
He watches TV upstairs
She has a secret she has never let out
A man she thinks he never knew about.
She hasn't seen him in 30 years
The mention of his name doesn't brings on tears
If you ask her "Are there any regrets?"
She'll tell you "No"
But she never forgets.

It was The Kind of Love You Never Recover From
Even though she found another one to take his place
She never will escape the truth
At times like this
When the moon is bright
When the air is foggy like it is tonight
She'll think about what might have been
If she had just held on to him.

I know a man who has done it all
He sailed the oceans
Climbed the mountains of Nepal
He lives high up on the Avenue
With a beautiful wife
Lovely children too.
But there's a woman he still dreams about
Certian thing's he's learned to live without
If you ask him "Are there any regrets?"
He'll tell you "No"
But he never forgets.

It was The Kind of Love You Never Recover From
Even though he found another one to take her place
He never will escape the truth
At times like this
When the moon is bright
When the air is foggy like it is tonight
He'll think about what might have been
If he had not let her
Slip away from him.

I read about a woman who said
She never regretted
Anything she's ever done
Such arrogant words always seem to be spoken by those
Who then die young.

So here am I
Looking at you
Oh tell me
What are we gonna do?
Am I destined to be your regret
Are you that one I will never forget?
Years from now will we curse the day
You let me let you walk away
Isn't this too dear a price to pay
For the freedom
Of going separate ways?

This is The Kind of Love You Never Recover From
Don't tell me that I'm gonna find another one to take your place
I never will escape the truth
At times like this
When the moon is bright
When the air is foggy like it is tonight
I'll think how sweet life could be
If you would stay with me
Oh stay with me
This is The Kind of Love You Never Recover From
Don't tell me that I'm gonna find another one to take your place
And try to face the truth
Let me hold you close tonight
The fog has lifted
And the moon is so bright
Think how sweet life could be
If you would stay with me
Oh stay with me
This is The Kind of Love You Never Recover From.
This is The Kind of Love You Never Recover From.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh...

Fun fun fun tribute to John Williams with a great list (75 Reasons I Love The Music Of John Williams). Numbers 31, 30, and 29 kinda gave me goose bumps - but there's so much great stuff there. Williams turns 75 on Thursday.

Counterintuitive workout mix

-- You would think that "London Calling" would be an awesome addition to any workout mix. I have found it to not be so. Odd.

-- You would NOT think that "Cool, Cool, Considerate Men" from the Broadway musical 1776 WOULD be a good addition to the workout mix ... but I can assure you. It is. When all the male voices come in singing, as one: "TO THE RIGHT ... EVER TO THE RIGHT ... NEVER TO THE LEFT ..." Oh my God. Oh. My. God. Seriously. It has to be some of the most exciting music I have ever heard in my life. I grew up on this musical - but suddenly - racing to Nirvana on the elliptical at 8 a.m. - I cannot get enough of this one song. Yes, there is the downtime in the middle ... when Dickinson berates Hancock for dancing the gavotte with Adams ... come over here with us ... so yes, it stops a bit ... and in a workout mix this is BAD ... but for some reason, because I know the exhilaration, the transcendent exhilaration of that sudden chorus of male voices: "To the RIGHT ... EVER TO THE RIGHT ..." I can deal with the downtime. Not only can I deal with the downtime, but I start to freak out in excitement about what is coming next, and this helps me to keep going.

-- Alanis Morrissette is kinda horrible for any workout mix.

-- Kelly Clarkson is the opposite of horrible. Kelly Clarkson is essential for the workout mix.

-- Sadly, XTC is NOT good on the workout mix. I thought it would be - especially "Dear God" - especially that last verse when he gets pissed ... but no. It just doesn't get me off. In terms of working out. What is inspirational in normal listening sometimes doesn't have the same effect when you're trying to keep going, stick to it, not give up (and this goes for "London Calling" too - that's a song which - well, I'm hard pressed to find a song that makes me feel more angry, more resolved, more ... restless ... than THAT one ... but it doesn't transfer to the "let's go one more mile" vibe on the treadmill)

-- Madonna's "Impressive Instant" from her Music album is essential. I have it on the same workout mix multiple times. So so inspirational. Just the beat. It keeps you going.

-- You wouldn't think that Elvis Presley's kind of meandering slow-build "If I can Dream" (from near the end of his career) would really work in a workout mix ... but I assure you. It does. It SO does.

-- I thought Lenny Kravitz's "Fields of Joy" would be an essential addition to my workout mix. But it doesn't really work for me. Weird. It's great makeout music, great crush-y I like a boy music - but solitary workout music? No. However, his critically berated "American Woman" is AWESOME for the workout mix.

-- Aerosmith is ... God. You have to be careful with them. They're so damn florid, and so self-regarding ... and yet when they hit it, they hit it GREAT. But you have to be very careful. I have found (oddly) that their "Pink" song - a ridiculous cheesy song - REALLY works in any workout mix you might be putting together.

-- Here's a no-brainer. Rick Springfield's "Red Hot & Blue Love" is awesome. It's an awesome song, in general, I swear to GOD ... and it's also AWESOME when you're sweating and feeling like giving up ... He helps you to say: "No. I am going to KEEP GOING."

-- This is also a no-brainer. Any workout mix without Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back" is not worthy of the name "workout mix" and that's final.

-- "White America" by Eminem doesn't work for me on the workout mix, even though I think that's my favorite of his. However: 'Til I Collapse - and Sing For the Moment have become ESSENTIAL workout mix components. I would have totally thought "White America" would be the one ... but no. It is not. And I have (sadly) over-listened to "Lose Yourself". And so it has lost some of its impact. I am staying away from it for a while ... because I need it to get its oomph back.

-- "Sweet Child O'Mine" is a no-brainer.

-- So is "The One" by Foo Fighters. Holy crap. I sprinkle that song thru the workout mix - because I find it so damn inspirational. By inspirational - I mean: it makes me pissed and determined.

-- "Christmas in Sarajevo" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a surprise. But I can't do without it. It starts slow but once it gets going? Watch me fly on the damn treadmill, watch me fly! Chorus of voices: "Sheila's strong now .... won't be long now ... Sheila's strong now ...."

-- "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" by Stevie Wonder is ... also kind of a surprise. I wouldn't have thought of that as primo workout material - but it is. I love the song, regardless ... but when it comes on, I feel this BURST of adrenaline and that is the whole point of a good workout mix.

But this morning - there I was - pounding away on the treadmill, surrounded by others who were pounding away ... and I seriously have tears in my eyes because I am now listening to "Cool, Cool Considerate Men" for the 2nd time ... and I find it so uplifting and inspirational. I had to laugh. The odds that somebody else in the gym is listening to, oh, "Sexy Back" or "Since U Been Gone" are pretty high. But what are the odds that somebody else would be listening to "Cool, Cool Considerate Men"?

iPod Shuffle ...this post will be updated continuously ... as long as I find it interesting ...

I moved this comment up from below the jump, because I think it's good to start with:

I know I'm being so boring in this post - but to quote Rachel Lucas (where the heck did that girl go?) or at least to paraphrase her with a line I use all the time - "I find my own boring-ness so compelling that I can't quite seem to stop".

Okay, now back to the regular post I had written:

It's raining. I feel strangely at peace right now. I finished Prep last night - seriously, I totally recommend it - it's kind of great. There were moments when my heart felt like it plummeted through my floor, and I thought: "oh no no no ... don't do that ... don't ..." The whole horrific moment with Devin, Cross' roommate - the "fish or cheese" list - horror ... and then when you hear Lee start to talk to the reporter ... and spill her guts ... you just KNOW that this will not turn out well. But Lee is a teenager, she makes mistakes, big ones ... and especially in that moment when she realizes that ... she had completely underestimated Cross, and her own self-involvement kept her from SEEING him. Wow. I have had those moments. Really good story.

The rain was coming down last night. I was pretty tired. I slept like a rock, woke up early, to hear the rain outside my window. Dark sky. Rain on leaves.

I made coffee and wrote for a while. Started Master and Margarita - which I actually had started maybe 8 or 9 months ago - and then got distracted by something else. I already knew I would love this book (and I have John to thank for giving me a copy!) ... and words can't even express. I'm starting it again - just so I can refresh myself ... the first chapter is chilling and compelling beyond compare.

A society declares to itself that it will no longer believe in God.

So then ... how does it respond when the devil himself shows up in Moscow?

Anything devil-related is really freakin' creepy to me - and this devil is a gentleman (ain't he always?) - and also very learned, knowledgeable, and bemused. Creepy.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted as I make my way through.

Stalinist Russia? The great terror? Moscow quivering in fear? The devil stalking through the streets? Please. Count me in.

So that's my prelude.

I came into the city, making my way through the rain, with the ol' iPod in the ears.

You know how sometimes when you play "shuffle songs" all you get is ... crap? Or at least I do. Maybe it's because I've uploaded too much music ... and who really wants to hear the Overture from The Music Man ono a regular basis ... but ... oh well. It's what I did.

So sometimes "shuffle" is frustrating, and it feels like I have NO good songs. heh heh How used to the whole iPod thing I have become.

But sometimes "shuffle" comes up with just a great mix - in and of itself. You hear songs you forgot you have ... old favorites come on ... unexpected surprises ... things you never would have chosen to listen to at this particular moment, but which fit right in with your general mood.

I had the SECOND kind of shuffle experience this morning, stuck in traffic, staring out at the rainy chaos going into the Lincoln Tunnel ... and song after song came on ... that I loved.

Here is the succession of songs I have listened to on this rainy rainy November morning:

Barcelona - Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Kabbalah

Stevie's Last Night in Town - Ben Folds Five

Run Away - Pink (I had totally forgotten how wonderful this song is)

Spend Some Time - Eminem (one of his more mellow songs ... he's all self-pitying, of course ... but good song)

Stuck In the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel (ha. This always makes me think of severed ears ... but also of Michael.)

Suspension without suspense - No Doubt (I adore this song, and I love her vocals in it even more ... it's songs like this which make it obvious why Scorsese asked her to play Jean Harlow)

Millbrook - Rufus Wainwright (sniff sniff)

Cabaret - Liza Minelli (That's Liza with a Z to you!)

The Air Near My Fingers - White Stripes (I had such a White Stripes phase a couple years ago that I kind of can't listen to them anymore - at least not regularly - but that's why the "shuffle" is so great ... a song of theirs comes up and it's a pleasant surprise. I like this one)

Dear God - XTC (one of my favorite songs of all time)

Raspberry Swirl - Tori Amos (I LOVE this song. This was from her Choirgirl Hotel album - the last one before she, in my opinion, went off the deep end into music that I could not care less about. Buh-by, Tori. Nice knowin' ya. But "Raspberry Swirl" is a great song.)

It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls (hahaha Awesome.)

Love's Recovery - Indigo Girls (okay, I can deal with a little bit of melancholy. Bring it on.)

Take a Look - Liz Phair (I have so many Liz Phair songs that she pretty much shows up in any shuffle with regularity ... weird how that happens. I do love this song in particular though.)

Happy Ending - Randy Newman (ha! I love this song!! It's the last song in Randy Newman's Faust)

King Nothing - Metallica (Yeah!! Load, as an album, is kind of ... uhm ... I can never make up my mind about it ... but the songs, individually, are pretty awesome. I love this one.)

J.A.R. - Green Day (I can never get enough of THEM. Love this song)

Easy and Slow - Clancy Brothers (I love how often I listen to them now that I have an iPod. But it is pretty funny to have, say, "Johnson's Motor Car" blast in my ears directly after some Led Zeppelin song. It's hysterical. "Easy and Slow". Lovely song. Melancholic, nostalgic.)

Symphony No. 29 - Mozart (random. But beautiful. Kind of happy positive music - light and airy)

Where Do I Go Now? - Pat McCurdy (okay, this is hysterical, you can hear the 1980s in this music. His old band - or one of them ... and here he is. It sounds kind of tinny. But I love it.)

Cruisin' - Stray Cats (I have so much Stray Cats and Brian Setzer that they also show up disproportionately in any shuffle ... but I love every single song ... I NEVER get tired of them. EVER. I mean, I've been listening to Stray Cats with regularity since, what, 1984? Pretty amazing. Same with U2, Elvis Costello, and Huey Lewis. Bizarre ... but these are bands and musicians I discovered in high school and have kind of never stopped listening to. Ever.)

My Little Soldier - Pat McCurdy (HYSTERICAL. STUPID. Lyrics here. SO ASININE and juvenile. And absolutely enjoyable.)

Whole Lotta Lovin' - speaking of Huey Lewis. And this is one of my favorites of his entire oeuvre. The harmonies!

I'll let you know how the rest of the shuffle goes ... but that's been my morning so far.

Pretty good.

More on the best shuffle ever

Angel is a Centerfold - J. Geils (now ... this is like my high school reunion. Huey Lewis and the Stray Cats and J. Geils? Now all we need to complete the flashback is: Go Gos, Adam Ant, Men at Work, Duran Duran, and Culture Club.)

Aurora - Foo Fighters (sniff, sniff. I adore this song. There's something sad and yet hopeful about it.)

Tonight We Fly - Divine Comedy (sigh. I love love love Divine Comedy. Pat gave me this album ... and every song on it is amazing. That album got me through a rough couple of months. Love it!)

Life's Too Short - Pat McCurdy (Okay, Pat, what the hell. You are dominating my shuffle. But this is one of my favorites of his songs and any time I make it back to one of my shows, he always remembers, and plays it for me. That and "Paris When It Burns". heh heh)

Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen (classic. Can't believe we haven't hit a "bad" song yet.)

God Bless America - Celine Dion (I know. There are many things that are wrong with this. First of all: she is Canadian. That's the first thing. Not that she can't bless America and everything. But still. She sang it on the music telethon right after September 11 - and I have the album of that telethon. She sings the song simply, without too much pyrotechnics ... and a TON of feeling. It's not as good as Whitney Houston's "Star Spangled Banner" - but then again, what is??)

Everybody Loves You, Baby - Don McLean (it feels like a huge chunk of my childhood is in this song. I should be listening to it on vinyl.)

The Goonies R Good Enough - Cyndi Lauper (HAHAHA Great song though! "Good enough for you ... It's good enough for me ... It's good it's good enough for me AYYIYIYIYIYI" Another flashback ... Who's bettah than Cyndi Lauper ...)

Hey Baby - No Doubt (okay, so here is the first song I want to skip. It got played too much on the radio and I got immune to it, even though I like it.)

Your Song - Ewan McGregor (do not even get me started on what this song means to me. It is all that is good and right and hopeful in the world.)

Soldier - Eminem (I have heard this song, what, 800 times? Countless times. And it still never fails to take my breath away. One of my favorites of his.)

Rev It Up and Go - Stray Cats (see above comment in re: Stray Cats.)

Tiocfaidh An Samhradh - The Cassidys (yup. Sad wistful Gaelic language on a rainy day redolent of the west of Ireland. I love the Cassidys. Oh - and the title means "Summer Will Come". Please. Not too soon. I love this rainy cold crap.)

Marry the Man Today - Guys and Dolls (ha. "you mustn't squeeze a melon til you get the melon home" ... "Now doesn't that kind of apply to you and I?" "You and me!" "Whatever.")

Together/Fireworks - Sally Mayes (she is marvelous, by the way ... this is from her Comden & Green songbook album. Her voice is so kick ASS.)

Did I Sleep Through It All - Tracy Bonham (God, I love her. Seriously, this is the best shuffle ever. I am obviously doing OTHER things as I provide you with my boring shuffle information. But again. My own boring-ness is unbelievably compelling to me.)

Christ for President - Billy Bragg & Wilco (ha!! Quite a propos today, I think. This wonderful album always reminds me of Cashel as a newborn. We were all very into this album and Cashel seemed to respond well to a lot of the songs - especially the first one on the album - "Walt Whitman's Niece". He would wriggle around his little peapod body in pleasure when that song came on.)

If I Were a Gambling Man - Pat McCurdy (okay. Stop taking over, Pat. But I love this one. The fastest song he ever wrote, according to him.)

Romance (if I can get it) - The Nylons (great a capella group. And this is my 2nd favorite of their songs. This always reminds me of college and Brett. Brett was the one who introduced me to the Nylons.)

Keep Young and Beautiful - Annie Lennox (ha!! What a snark-fest. Love her.)

Mockingbird - Eminem (more sadness, more self-pity. I like it, though.)

Rain is Falling - ELO (ohmygod. One of my favorites of their songs. Makes me want to cry. Or slow dance with somebody. Or something like that.)

Big Tall Man - Liz Phair (I'm trying to think of a Liz Phair song I DON'T like. Maybe "Uncle Alvarez" ... but that's really the only one that comes to mine. Love Liz Phair.)

Serenade for Winds - Mozart (2 Mozart songs in one shuffle. Not too shabby!)

Built for Speed - Stray Cats (hahahaha Again! "Well, I'm cruisin' low and I'm cruisin' mean ... You're my hot rod mama and you're really built for speed!" So - as of now - Stray Cats and Pat McCurdy are neck and neck for the most appearances ...)

Soap Star Joe - Liz Phair (like I said: Liz Phair always shows up with creepy regularity in my shuffle ... I love this one. It's from Exile to Guyville - it has the rawness of that whole album.)

Enough Space - Foo Fighters (from Colour and the Shape - which is a perfect album, in my opinion. I love this song ... but they're all amazing.)

Fake Friends - Joan Jett (hahaha Love it.)

My luck continues. It is quite stunning. And it's still raining.

Comforting Lie - No Doubt (I wasn't wacky about that album - and I'm a huge No Doubt fan ... but I loved this song. This one, "Suspension without Suspense" and "Ex-Girlfriend" are my favorites off that album)

In the Lost and Found - Elliott Smith (okay. This song is creepy sad. I can't listen to Elliott Smith too much - he's too sad. Makes me too sad. But I love pretty much every song off that album. You know, the one he recorded before stabbing himself in the heart.)

Pharaoh - The House Band (believe it or not this is an Irish band. All male singers. This song is rather amusing ... Irish instruments, a Celtic feel to the tune ... but they're singing "we're all workin' for the Pharaoh ...")

Amazing Grace - Bela Fleck (banjo. A slow contemplative banjo version of "Amazing Grace". God almighty. I love Bela Fleck anyway, I've seen him play in clubs a couple of times - great stuff ... but this version of Amazing Grace has got to be heard to be believed. It's off a compilation CD I have - of country singers singing Gospel and most of it is sentimental treacly sanctimonious crap - but not this song. Not this version of it.)

Polly - Nirvana (the live version. I prefer the live version actually.)

Gallant Forty Twa - Clancy Brothers (I adore them ... but I am just shaking with laughter right now ... If you could hear what I'm listening to ... hahahahahaha)

I'm Not Dead - Pink (I think she has a perfect rock and roll voice. Perfect pitch. Perfect. This is a very good song.)

There's a Rugged Road - Shawn Colvin (someday I'll write a post about this album - it's called "Cover Girl" and my life at the time I discovered it. Kate gave it to me on a tape - yes, we still were doing cassettes at that point. And I never - I mean NEVER - hear one of the songs off this album without thinking of that time in my life. My response to them change - there was a long period when I could no longer listen to this album - but I ALWAYS see August 1994 and September 1995 when I hear any one of these songs.)

Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin (aweeeeesome.)

Fly Away - Poe (I really like Poe. Michael told me about her. We were talking about House of Leaves. I did not know Poe's connection to that book.)

Cold Day In the Sun - Foo Fighters (I'd listen to them sing "Happy Birthday" I love them so much. This actually kind of sounds like an Eagles song, weirdly)

Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac (this song gives me the chills. That whole freakin' album gives me the chills. Perfect album.)

The Lamb's Book of Life - Sinead O'Connor (angry song. Very good song. "Out of Ireland I have come ... great hatred in little rooms named us at the start ... and now home just breaks my heart ...")

Ten Year Night - Lucy Kaplansky (sad. Sad song. Beautiful but really sad.)

Indian War Whoop - John Hartford (ha! This is from the wonderful "O Brother, Where Art Thou" soundtrack - I love every song on that soundtrack.)

As Long As I'm Singin' - the Brian Setzer Orchestra (awesome. Seriously, never EVER get tired of Setzer)

Hills of LA - Mike Viola and the Candybutchers (thank you thank you to my sister Siobhan for REALLY getting me into them. My brother, my cousin Liam ... they've all been huge Candybutchers fans from way back. But it was Siobhan who helped me kick it into gear. Thank you!)

Another Girl - Beatles (you know - my luck has been quite extraordinary all day. And no - I have not been hovering by my computer all day. I have bought shoes. I have sent off mail. I have taken a walk. Etc. But the shuffle continues ... the shuffle continues ...)

Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Led Zeppelin (ahhhhhhhhhhh)

Hero of the Day - Metallica - (wow, 2 in one day from "Load"?? Like I said - if I split them up and don't listen to the album all the way thru, I really like the songs. Wonder why that is? I like this song, actually - I like the bridge - or the transition part - when it gets really harsh, rough. Not as much into the melodic stuff stuff.)

40' - Franz Ferdinand (I'm a huge fan. Love that whole album.)

Go, Go, Go Joseph - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Okay. I'm laughing. "Go Go Go Joseph ... to the OTHER window." "We don't think that we will ever see the light of day again ... Hey, Joseph, help us if you can. We've had dreams that we don't understand!" Oh, come on, it's catchy. Albeit GEEKY.)

Life Story - from the "Closer Than Ever" soundtrack. One of the most heartbreaking songs ever written. Beautifull performed by Lynne Wintersteller - man, can she sing. Great song, though. sniff ...

Mal Bhan Ni Chuilionain - Aine Minogue (I love her. Have to be in the mood for her - a kind of quiet mood - which, thankfully, I am today.)

Jump Jive An' Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra (I think Setzer is winning for most appearances ... He definitely is. Swingin'!)

You're Never Gonna Get It - En Vogue (God. Member them? Member how they dominated? Before Destiny's Child took over the entire solar system?)

I'm a Big Fat Idiot - Pat McCurdy (I'm howling. He's so retarded. "I'm stupid as shit and I'm proud of it ..." He makes me laugh.)

Kite - U2 (I love this song. I love the opening chords. There's something haunting and peaceful about them.)

The Wall - Johnny Cash (I mean, day-um. This is one of those albums - the Folsom Prison album - where you just HAVE to listen to it start to finish. AMAZING. I love how he starts laughing in the middle of this ... you can just feel the audience there ... it's palpable)

Yours, Yours, Yours - John and Abigail from "1776" (sniffle. Love this song)

Livin' on the Edge - Aerosmith (Okay. Uhm. Not too crazy about this song. Maybe I need to delete it from the ol' iPod. There is something unnecessarily ... florid about Aerosmith. Does anyone else agree? Like - stop it. You're just a sex maniac. Calm down. Stop being so FLORID. It's like they are always in the baroque stage of art history, with everything overdone and overblown. Calm down, guys. I beg you.)

You're the Boss - Brian Setzer and Gwen Stefani (SO fun. Her voice totally fits in with that style)

Soundtrack shuffle

I've seen this at Tracey's - here's mine. There is much that I find amusing here. The song that came up for "Final Battle" for example made me laugh out loud. And I find the song that came up for "Falling in Love" pretty damn ... well, whatever. I also very much enjoy the soundtrack choice for me "waking up". Bwahahaha.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here�s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that�s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don�t lie and try to pretend you�re cool�

Opening Credits: You Can't Always Not Get What You Don't Want - Tracy Bonham

Waking Up: Dirty Old Egg-Suckin' Dog - Johnny Cash

First Day At School: Break of Dawn - Stevie Wonder

Falling In Love: Waiting - Green Day

Fight Song: Peaches and Cream - Domestic Science Club (a more girlie song cannot be imagined. It's hilarious imagining some big fight with this song playing in the background)

Breaking Up: Praying for Time - George Michael

Prom: Joseph's Dream - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtrack (I am SURE that this is quite a popular prom theme. Imagine all the high schoolers slow dancing to the romantic strains of:

"Joseph's coat annoyed his brothers
But what makes us mad
Are the things he often tells us
Of the dreams he often had ..."

Yeah. Really common prom theme song.)

Life: A Sleepin' Bee - Barbra Streisand

Mental Breakdown: The Meeting Place - XTC

Driving: The Wonder of You - Elvis Presley

Flashback: Down In the Meadow - Marilyn Monroe

Getting Back Together: Wig In a Box - Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack

Wedding: Free Your Mind - En Vogue

Birth of Child: 18 Miles from Memphis - Stray Cats

Final Battle: I Think I'll Join a Cult - Pat McCurdy

Death Scene: Silhouettes - The Nylons

Funeral Song: She Loves Me Not - Closer Than Ever soundtrack

End Credits: From the Morning - Nick Drake

The Overture

Wonderful piece in the NY Times about the death of the overture. I have noticed that musicals don't really have your typical overtures anymore - but the essay totally reminded me of listening to musicals as a kid - and overtures I remember. (Here - watch how I excerpt the article properly):

That era is long gone, but there was always more to the overture than the pleasure of the music itself. Practically, it provided a buffer for latecomers; dramatically, it helped to effect a mood transition from the outer world of commerce and cabs to the imaginary world about to be created onstage. It might hint at crisp sophistication (those four bright exclamation points at the start of ?My Fair Lady?) or exotic doings (the pentatonic Orientalia of ?The King and I?) or the possibility of louche women (the wild trumpet orgy of ?Gypsy?). It could establish instantaneously the tone of the material, whether emotional (?South Pacific?), comical (?Bye Bye Birdie?) or satirical (?Candide?). In the case of the overture to ?Candide,? that brilliant jack-in-the-box of musical surprises, it might do so better than the show itself.

It took me just a second to locate, in my memory, the sound of "those four bright exclamation points at the start of My Fairy Lady" - but there they were! The overture - emblazoned in my mind. Amazing.

I will NEVER forget listening to Annie for the first time (got the record for my 11th birthday) - and putting it on the turntable in the dining room - and hearing, for the very first time - that lone trumpet, playing the opening strains to "Tomorrow" - the start of the overture in Annie. I didn't know anything about Annie, knew none of the songs yet ... but I was hooked from the first second I heard that melancholy lonely sound. Yet hopeful. Strangely hopeful. And seriously: when I listen to that soundtrack now, I STILL get a flash of ... soul-shivers, excitement, transcendence ... when I hear that trumpet. Wow. God bless the overture.

Go read the whole thing.

Uhm ...

... is it normal to not be able to listen to any music other than ELO? Seriously. In the last 3 days I have tried to segue out of the ELO phase - but nothing satisfies, and I have to go back. Over. And over. And over. And over. And over.

Something is wrong with me.

Music Meme

Ken tagged me with this meme about a decade ago - and I'm just getting to it now. Busy busy Sheila. Busy busy bee.

Four songs that you could listen to over and over:
Fields of Joy - Lenny Kravitz
Oh Darling - The Beatles
Til We Reach that Day - Ragtime soundtrack
Luck in my Eyes - kd lang

Four songs that drive you up the friggin' wall:

We didn't start the fire - Billy Joel (love the Joel, hate that song)

We Are the World - No. You are NOT the world. You are Americans. There's a difference.

That big song by Enya kind of drives me crazy. My massage therapist sometimes plays it during a session and I make him change it because it kinda makes me mad.

Oh - and Drips - by Eminem. Track 9 on The Eminem Show. Were it not for Track 9, that would be a perfect album. I know there are those who disagree with me, and who love Drips - but I'm standing strong on this one.

Four songs that you're embarrassed (or should be) to admit you like:

Well, I'm all about the guilty pleasures in life so I have little to no embarrassment about any of my tastes - and don't think I SHOULD be embarrassed by any of them - but let's pretend:

You Drive Me Crazy - Britney Spears - great pop song. But again, I'm not embarrassed to like it, because I think it's a great pop song/.

Any and all KC and the Sunshine Band songs

I adore Ashlee Simpson's "La La" even though it is ridiculous and I can't stand her and everything she represents, with her new nose, and her creepy dad. Still "La La" is a great song.

I love Madonna. Now there's something that is not popular to admit today. But I don't give a crap. Love her music. All of it.

Four best driving songs:
Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters
Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Lithium - Nirvana

I obviously like it loud and almost brain-dissolvingly harsh when I drive. None of this melancholy reflective James Taylor stuff. I love James Taylor - but NOT for driving. He's more of a - as i take a long walk on a cloudy day - he'll be on the iPod. But driving? By myself? No.

Four songs that make you cry:
Errol Flynn - Amanda McBroom
The Man that Got Away - Judy Garland
Watershed - Indigo Girls
Washing of the Water - Peter Gabriel

Four best risqu� songs:
Risque to me means suggestive - rather than explicit. So:

Happiness is a warm gun - the Beatles
Galway Bay - the Clancy Brothers (hahahaha but it's true - best song.)
Freudian Love Song - Pat McCurdy (lyrics here)
Oh Jean - The Proclaimers

Four best kid songs:
John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith (his name is my name too!!)

Actually - Holiday, by Green Day - and I say that because Cashel loves it and we sing it together rousingly

99 bottles of beer on the wall

Little red caboose (chug chug chug)

If you want to list your own answers in the comments - go right ahead!!!

Songs I have re-discovered through the magic of iTunes

Songs I have absolutely LOVED at one point in my life ... songs I either have on cassette tape, for God's sake, or don't own at all ... but now I can HAVE ... Re-discovery!!!

They are (and this list is not exhaustive):

"Winter Kills" - Yaz

"Mama Told Me Not to Come" - 3 Dog Night

"Luck in my eyes" - k.d. lang

"Everybody Loves Me, Baby" - Don McLean

"The Kind of Love You Never Recover From" - Christine Lavin

"Man in the Mirror" - Michael Jackson

"Free Fallin" - Tom Petty

"Hell Is For Children" - Pat Benatar

"Big Time Sensuality" - Bjork

"Little Bird" - Annie Lennox

"If I Can Dream" - Elvis Presley

"Whole Lotta Lovin'" - Huey Lewis and the News

"Tell It Like It Ti-Is" - B-52s

"Lilac Wine" - Jeff Buckley

"Isolation" - Beth Hart

"Steamroller Blues" - James Taylor (the live version)

"Sixty Years On" - Elton John with, I think, the Sydney Symphony Orchestra behind him

"London Calling" - The Clash

"Working for the Weekend" - Loverboy

"If Love Is a Red Dress" - Maria McKee

"Joining a Fan Club" - Jellyfish

"Life By the Drop" - Stevie Ray Vaughn

"Red Hot and Blue Love" - Rick Springfield

"Christmas is the Time to say I Love You" - SR-71 (yes - I know Billy Squier did this - and I loved it soooooooo much when I was little - but this version of it? Off of one of those A Very Special Christmas albums?? It's so damn kick-ass that ... I can't even talk about it further. I have been haunted by the memory of that version of the song for, uhm, years? I tracked it down. Now I have it.)

"Drop the Pilot" - Joan Armatrading

iTunes ...

... is evil.

It is like crack.

Seriously.

I feel like I am not responsible enough to deal with iTunes. I feel like I need to have some outside authority limit what I am able to do on iTunes. Like: Oops, Sheila has overstayed her welcome ... she is now cut off until next month. I feel like one of those mindless drones pouring their welfare checks into the slot machines. 10 minutes go by and I could spend 200 bucks. 99 cents a song?? That's NOTHING!! Click, click, click, click ... 50 songs later ...

It's evil.

And yet ... ohmigod ohmigod.

Old favorites I have tracked down on iTunes ... things I only had on cassette tape ...

SPLIT ENZ. Uhm ... that one album ... where every song is awesome? Found it. Click, click, click. I have been listening to Split Enz all day. I freakin' LOVED Split Enz. I'm sorry but I think "Nobody Takes Me Seriously" is just a classic song - I can't get enough!!! "What's the Matter With You"?? Another awesome song - but the album doesn't have a bad song on it. "I Got You". "Shark Attack".

Seriously. I had that thing on cassette for years ... never upgraded to CD because I am retarded ... but now I have it!!

More:

"Better Be Home Soon" by Crowded House. Uhm ... great song? Help me deal with the wistful greatness of that song!! Haven't heard it in years ... but suddenly it popped into my head and I NEEDED to have it.

"House of Fun" by Madness. MADNESS. I can't hear Madness without thinking of Meredith ... just because we listened to that album at her house ALL THE TIME. What a RIDICULOUS album. "Our House" was by far their LEAST good song. "House of Fun" is psychotic. I adore it. And now I have it.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
Im up to date
And the dates today
So if youll serve
Ill be on my way
Welcome to the house of fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the lions den
Temptations on his way
Welcome to the house of fun

Uhm ... come again?

"Paint it Black" - Rolling Stones. I'm actually not a huge Stones fan ... but this song? Kicks some seeeeerious ass. Now I have it. Took a run this morning with that damn thing blasting in my ears. That song makes me feel like a bad ass, like: do not. Mess. with me.

"Cool Jerk" - by The Go Gos ... This is another one which always makes me think of being at Mere and Jayne's house in high school. Mere had a bass. She would play the bass. We would listen to "Cool Jerk". Life can't get any better.

"Don't Think Twice, it's all right" - Bob Dylan. Had a LONG overdue crying jag this afternoon listening to that exquisite song. I have a bunch of other Dylan but for some reason - not that one. It touches me. On this deep and almost deja vu level.

"Fell On Black Days" - Soundgarden - Uhm ... YUM.

"Livin' la vida loca" SHUTUP. Great song. But ... Ricky ... I have so many questions. How does a bullet through the brain TAKE AWAY your pain? I mean, yes, with death ... but ... is that really the analogy you're after? And the lines "her skin the color mocha" reaches a level of cheese RARELY achieved. It's so hilarious. And woah: she'll "make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain". Man. That is so WACKY. Like: she sounds PSYCHOTIC AND DANGEROUS! Take your clothes off and dance in the rain? What kind of SICK SHITE IS THAT? hahahaha Like: THAT'S the example he uses to show the "danger" of this woman? Sounds pretty benign and fun to me. But woah. It freaked him OUT. Love that song.

And "La La" by Ashlee ("love your body the way it is ... DOH") Simpson. I don't even know anything about this woman's music - except for her various live-performance acid-reflux debacles - but I do know that I heard this song, randomly, on the radio one day last year and found myself jamming out. Then on came the DJ: "And that was Ashlee Simpson!" What?? Great song. LUDICROUS lyrics. Like: you're embarrassed for her. I do not want to think of Ashlee Simpson being a French maid. Or a stray cat. Lapping up the milk on the kitchen floor. I do not want to think of Ashley "dressed up in dirt" (how would that work, exactly? Ashley? How do you get dressed up in dirt?) Also, Ashley - if someone throws you like a boomerang, then it probably isn't good manners to come back and beat them up. Because you say in the first verse of the song that you "like it better when it hurts". So ... if you "like it better when it hurts" - then you really have no call to beat someone up just because they whipped you off towards the horizon like a boomerang. You SAID you like pain, ya little French maid. But whatever. Rockin' stupid song - great for working out.

Joan Armatrading!!! I was SO into her in college (it was kind of a prerequisite if you wanted to be friends with Mitchell. He showed me the ways of the Armatrading). Me Myself I!! Awesome song! I Love It When You Call Me Names. Terrific. And then - the achey-heart song "Love and Affection" - which resonates so deeply with me right now that I kinda can't even listen to the song yet. Soon. What a song. She's marvelous.

And lastly:

"Rock Lobster" - B-52s. It just never gets old.

Back away from the iTunes, Sheila. Back away.

Music geekiness

High maintenance survey from Tanya:

What's a great late night song?
"The Man That Got Away" - Judy Garland

Name 5-10 wistful/bittersweet songs:

In My Life - The Beatles
Watershed - Indigo Girls
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right - Bob Dylan
14th Street - Rufus Wainwright (more the music than the lyrics)
Bill - Showboat
In My Mind - Pat McCurdy (ouch)
Desperado - The Eagles

The 4 Best Songs Ever Written: I will discount classical ...

In My Life - The Beatles
Bye Bye Love - Everly Brothers
Skylark - by Hoagy Carmichael
Danny Boy - Frederic Edward Weatherly

there are so many more ... but these are the first ones that come to mind, for me

3 Current Favorite Songs:
No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
I don't know what it is - Rufus Wainwright
Stars and Planets - Liz Phair

Classic Early Evening Drinking Music:
early swing-y Frank Sinatra

3 All Time Faves That Never Get Old To You
all time? Sheesh. Uhm ... going back to childhood now, to think of the songs I loved then that I still listen to, or still can BEAR to listen to:

American Pie - Don McLean
This Train - Bob Gibson
Galway Bay - the Clancy Brothers (I still feel like laughing every time I hear that song - and honestly, adding up my childhood years and the fact that I still listen to that album now - I probably have heard that song about 8,000 times.)

Song You Want (or did) To Play At Your Wedding:
Lucky Charm - Stray Cats

4 Records You Really Dug from 2005
I'm not really a big current-music buyer - I am more inclined to spend my time buying, oh, Pat Benatar's Greatest Hits - but here goes - and if these came out in 2006 or 1004 - I just can't help it. I don't have time to look it up and I don't give a shit, frankly.

Foo Fighters double album
Queens of the Stone Age - whatever that album was called - with Dave Grohl on drums
The Wicked soundtrack
Rufus Wainwright - Want Two
Confessions on a dance floor - Madonna

Favorite Records From This Year So Far:
(see comment above.)

Fiona Apple's new album - I think it came out in 2005 though - ack
I can't do this one, sorry - I don't follow trends

Good Angry Songs:
Father of Mine - Everclear
Rape Me - Nirvana
Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham
You Hurt Me (And I Hate You) - Eurythmics
Sweet Lorraine - Patty Griffin

One of Your Favorite Lyrics:
One of them is, without a doubt:

Till I collapse I�m spilling these raps long as you feel em
Till the day that I drop you�ll never say that I�m not killing them
Cause when I am not then I am stop pinning them
And I am not hip-hop and I�m just not Eminem.
Subliminal thoughts when I�m stop sending them women are caught in webs spin and hauk venom
Adrenaline shots of penicillin could not get the illing to stop.
Amoxacilin is just not real enough.
The criminal cop killing hip-hop filling minimal swap to cop millions of Pac listeners.
You're coming with me, feel it or not you�re gonna fear it like I showed you the spirit of God lives in us.
You hear it a lot, lyrics that shock
Is it a miracle or am I just a product of pop fizzing up?
Fo shizzle my whizzle this is the plot listen up
You bizzles forgot
slizzle does not give a fuck.

Also, the lyrics to my sister Siobhan's song "Belly Under":

It's second nature now,
the third time around trying to be cured.
Second nature comes naturally.
I did double takes,
third time's a charm to be fourth rate.
I plead the fifth to what went on.
I stood too close,
hoping it would make us closer,
but that's a bad theory.
And I forgot the difference
between friend and foe (it's tough I know)--
flip a coin between friend or enemy.

But all those circumstances?
Fuck em all, just take my chances!

It ain't enough to sit and wonder.
It ain't enough to say I care.
No wonder I'm going belly under
from all the world's tear and wear.

Pins and needles got in my feet
(sat too long in my seat)--
at least I know I still got my senses.
But it makes it hard to hustle
with blood and bone inbetween muscle...
that's all I know about anatomy.
Blood and bone can look so gruesome on their own--
skin covers what we dont' wanna see.

But a heart beating on its own,
won't beat long all alone!

It ain't enough to sit and wonder.
It ain't enough to say I care.
No wonder I'm going belly under
from all the world's tear and wear.

In Times Square,
I feel like i'm not even there.
(the ghost under the marquis).
The marquis' read the latest,the greatest,
the highest-paidest--
household names ain't what they cracked up to be.
From the sky,
they can't make out the words on the signs.
That's okay, the angels don't wanna know.

Heaven sent and heaven goes--
even they can't decide i suppose

It ain't enough to sit and wonder.
It ain't enough to say I care.
No wonder I'm going belly under
from all the world's tear and wear.
From all the world's tear and wear
from all the world's tear and wear

5 Cover Songs Arguably Better Than the Original:
Hit me baby one more time - Fountains of Wayne
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go - Shawn Colvin
Those were the days, my friend - Dolly Parton
Somebody to Love - George Michael
All Apologies - Sinead O'Connor

Ironic Song to Brutally Murder Someone to in a movie:
You Are My Sunshine

Great Dance Song You Maybe Never Realized Was a Great Dance song Back in the Day:
Tragedy - Bee Gees (thanks for showing me the way, Michael)

Good Albums To Workout To:
Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway
Madonna - Immaculate Collection
Eminem - The Eminem Show

Good Album to Clean The House To:
I always clean my house to Metallica's black album. I cannot explain it but ... I hear the first chords of the first song, and I find myself yearning for Windex.

Good Dining Music:
Allison Kraus

Good Album To Have Sex To:
anything by Prince
also The Color and the Shape, Foo Fighters

A Good Album To Put You In the Mood (that is NOT Sade, Marvin Gaye or Barry White):

album? How 'bout just a song? I will admit that Tempted (by Squeeze) does the trick for me. Perhaps I should be mortified but honestly, this is an important topic and why be embarrassed about what works? Life's too short. I wouldn't care if MMMM Bop put me in the mood. If it works, why be embarrassed.

Another good one is Happiness Is a Warm Gun - by the Beatles

Good Album To Sleep To:

I play a CD of a thunderstorm - a mild mild thunderstorm with a torrential rainfall - to put me to sleep. Beautiful. Or if we need music here - then definitely the album Pink Moon, by Nick Drake.

5 Good Rock Songs That You Can Dance To: rock?? I'm just gonna list what makes me dance without worrying about the damn genre, okay chappie?

Lithium - Nirvana
Rock Lobster - B 52s
Time Warp - rocky horror
Freeze Frame - J Geils
Vogue - Madonna (probably doesn't qualify as rock but again, chappy, see my comment above)

Song That Is Too Damn Sad:

Washing of the Water - Peter Gabriel (a YOWL of pain)

Great Love Song:

Dream - Everly Brothers (makes me swwon)

An Album Full of Tenderness:

Cliff Eberhardt - The Long Road

Song To An Ex That Isn't Meanspirited:

The heart of the matter - Don Henley (do NOT even get me started on that song)

Song To An Ex That Is Kinda Meanspirited:
(I love Tanya's answer: "Joe Lies" by Lily Taylor.)

Also: Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Song to Listen to While in The Country Looking at Stars:

One Vision - Queen

Song to lose your Mind to:

Crazy on You - Heart

Song To Cry In Your Pillow to:

Watershed - Indigo Girls (it's not particularly a sad song - I just know that I actually have cried into my pillow many times and that song happened to be playing, so I'm just sayin'. A to B)

Songs That Make You Feel Amped and Inspired:

London Calling - the Clash

Great Semi-Obscure B-side:

I would say the genius Fountains of Wayne acoustic cover of Britney Spears' ... Baby One More Time qualifies

Song That Makes You Miss Your Mom:

anything by Joan Baez

That's Baby Makin' Music (No, Really):

Love and Happiness - Al Green

Criminally Underrated Band That Didn't Get Attention and Then Broke Up:

I need to think about this one

Best Fuck You I Am a Teenager in Pain Song:

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Feel No Shame: Great Current Pop Songs:

anything by Kelly Clarkson

Album No One Would Expect You To Love:

I have no idea how people perceive me so I cannot answer this. I like all kinds of music so I can't see why there should be any expectations of me.

Album No One Would Expect You To Dislike:

I'm not wacky about most Jackson Browne. I love one or two of his songs - but the rest? No. This would probably surprise (and maybe hurt) some.

Album No One Would Expect You To Really Know:

The Tourists - The Tourists

Emo Album You Actually Like:

I know nothing about that emo shit. I'm old.

Good, But Overrated Cause Of Indie Revisionism:

Overrated? How 'bout Big Bad Voodoo Daddy? I love them though. I actually don't understand this question.

5 Desert Island Discs off the top of your head (30 sec clock):

No clue what this even means. I'm dumb!

3 Contemporary Artists That Were Your Faves 10 Years Ago:
U2
Elvis Costello
Lenny Kravitz

Music That Makes You Feel Sophisticated:
My mix of Scott Joplin rags
Glenn Gould playing the Goldberg Variations

Fave Electronic Record You Own:

See I'm really showing my ignorance - is "electronic" a genre of music? Isn't that electronicA? I'm not answering this one.

Fave Hip-Hop Record You Own:

probably The Eminem Show - just in sheer amount of times I have listened to it.

Hip-Hop Song You Know All the Lyrics Too:

many of them.

Random Album You Loved In High School But Are Afraid To Admit It:

Haven't you read Diary Friday? I am obviously not afraid to admit ANYthing about high school.

Let's see. I adored Adam Ant with the fire of 1000 suns.

Album You May Have Listened To More In Highschool than Any Other Album:
Time - ELO That was my favorite album EVER. MADE.

Also:

Beauty and the Beat - Go Gos

If You Could Enter A Wrestling Ring to a Song It Would Be:

some Chieftains song, with a nutty bodhran solo - like Up Against the Bauchalawns

Album To Clear A Room With:

a Kenny G Greatest Hits album

workout mix

Here is RTG's.

And here's mine. I consider it a work of art.

Now there are enough songs on here for me to take a 5 hour run probably - but I like to have a lot of options - because boredom is DEATH to me as a runner. There is one absolute: I always start off with Lose Yourself.

Lose Yourself - Eminem (it's goosebump time - every time I hear the song)

'Cuz I can - Pink (awesome obnoxious song - hysterical)

A Woman Wouldn't Be A Woman - Eartha Kitt (yup. I'm nuts. Great song. You must shake your hips when you hear it)

The One - Foo Fighters (from the Orange County soundtrack - one of my favorites of all of their songs)

Vogue - Madonna (this always comes up when I get to "the hill" - it gives me motivation)

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne (again: motivation - one MUST move when one hears this song)

The Night Before - The Beatles ("we said our goodbye-eeeeees - the night befo-ore ..." - this is where I take it down a notch - works perfectly)

... Baby one more time - Britney Spears (love it. always will)

She-Bop - Cyndi Lauper (those first chords? If you don't pick up the pace when you hear those first chords then there is something wrong with you)

White America - Eminem (angry!! angry song! Keeps me going! There's a lot of Eminem on this mix you will find. Anger is very helpful for me)

Holiday - Green Day (see above in re: anger - this has to be one of my favorite songs written in the last 10 years.)

The Origin of Love - Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack (another sort of "slow it down" song - wonderful - works perfectly)

Everything for Free - K's Choice (I found this on a random Lilith Fair compilation - it is such a hard freakin' rockin' song - reminds me of Evanescence - I ADORE IT)

Gone - Kelly Clarkson (bad ass)

Extraordinary - Liz Phair (it's mainly the beginning of the song that keeps me going)

Ray of Light - Madonna (it cannot be stressed enough - this chick knows how to put together a dance song)

Til I Collapse - Eminem (angry. Keep it going)

Elephant Love Medley - Moulin Rouge soundtrack (around here I start to get really exhausted ... and sometimes my emotions start to flow out ... this medley helps me to cry and run AT THE SAME TIME!! Keep going!!)

Rape Me - Nirvana (back to the anger. Enough tears. Rage!)

A Little More Love - Olivia Newton-John (don't laugh. This song has an insistent eerie beat that is very helpful when you are a sweaty beast thinking of giving up ... "will a little more love make YOU stop preten-diin ... will a little more lo-ove bring a happy ending ..." etc.)

Cream - Prince (yowza)

Strong - Robbie Williams (I love this song so much. It's cheese personified. But ... so so so catchy!!)

Wish Liszt - Trans-Siberian Orchestra (a ridiculous instrumental - classical - hard rock - stupid - but motivational!)

Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder (fuggedabout it - one of my favorites of all of his songs - transports me)

Dear God - XTC (a perfect way to come on down ... and flop onto my front stoop, praying for mercy)

Genius.

I know it's Hoff's new music video for his song "Jump in my car". I realize it's Hoff. But this video is GENIUS. And by "genius" I mean "mortifying to watch". And yet also ... it's AWE-some.

Suddenly he's dancing in front of an American flag? What? Why? Where did that come from? Also, you're driving on the European side of the car, dude ... are you trying to remind us you're an American? By randomly dancing in front of the stars and stripes? WHY??

And doing AIR GUITAR in your own video? Hoff. I do air guitar myself. Alone. In my apartment. When no one's looking.

Also: sorry, but he is HARASSING those poor girls. There is nothing sexy about a plastic-faced old man basically forcing you and your friends to get in his car with him. This does not look good. I don't care that he's a star and he sang at the Berlin Wall. He is 68 years old, and the girls look, literally, like jail bait. I found it creepy. I found myself wanting to shout at them, "RUN!" No means no, Hoff. They said NO once, twice, even THREE times (in unison, and harmonizing no less!) - what are you deaf???

And yet I found myself tapping my toe. And ... I kinda like the lead girl (who's sitting beside him in the front seat) She's cute. She looks like a young Barbra Streisand - that kind of beautiful strong face. I admit it that I love the girl-voice chorus. And by "love" I mean: "shame-filled involuntary toe-tapping".

What is UP with the devil horns?

Why? I beg of you ... why?

He really has to STOP with the whole phony background thing. It's so dumb.

And yet I do like how he is making fun of his own image. The Kit car. The Baywatch moment. Etc. Self-deprecation is always attractive. Like when he does his own slo-mo. That's actually pretty funny.

And yet ... I question his motives.

Stop harassing the tweens, Hoff.

And don't ever move your hips like that again. Okay? Thanks.

I have so many thoughts. None of them make sense. I can't stop watching it. I absolutely adore it. The best thing I've seen all year.

Here's the whole thing.

Springsteen on Conan

This video is one of the happiest things I've ever seen. It feels spontaneous ... I am seeing life itself - not an imitation of it, not a fabrication - but the real thing. I could not keep the smile off my face as I watched it.

(Thanks Round Headed Boy for linking to it)

There are moments when TV transcends itself ... when a moment of sheer greatness, perfection, and spontanaiety is allowed to exist. It doesn't happen often. TV is the most skittish of mediums. But sometimes ... sometimes ... a true moment just happens and they become engrained on our concsiousness with indelible ink. Bette Midler singing "One for the Road" to Johnny Carson on his last show - I've seen it a million times, and I still don't get over how moving it is, how ... how perfect. Springsteen on Letterman, actually - jumping up on top of Paul Schaefer;s piano. How often does something exhilarated and unexpected happen on television? The entire first season of Saturday Night Live. Now that was new. That was thrilling.

But WATCH that video of Springsteen and his band - playing with the Conan O'Brien band - and obviously letting everyone who was also on the show that night participate. I keep thinking it's gonna end - but then it goes to yet another level of joy. There are SO MANY people on that stage. Look at them all moving together. Look at Conan playing the guitar with Bruce! And keep an eye out for Jimmy Fallon in the background, playing spoons as though his life depended on it.

I LOVE PEOPLE.

I can't believe it. I just watched it twice all the way through.

UPDATE: Check out the response to this video on Bloggledygook. I love his insights about Springsteen, and music, in general. (And thanks for the kind kind words.)

I'm going to say something that may piss some people off

So here goes.

First a prologue:

I have been a Billy Joel fan forever. I realize the cheese factor, but I think he's kind of awesome, and some of his songs are really great.

But you know what?

The narrator in Captain Jack can go fuck himself.

Get over it, Captain Jack dude. Move on. So they found your father in the swimming pool. I am truly sorry to hear that, but how long are you going to keep wallowing? Get a backbone. Stop drinking. Sell your brandnew Chevrolet that you're so proud of and go back to school. Do SOMETHING. You're at the place in your life where you want to go on vacation but then don't because you think there's no place to go to anyway. Dude, this is a sorry state of affairs.

If you're tired of living in your one-horse town, then why don't you freakin' MOVE? Oh but no. You just want to wive in a wittle hole in the gwound, don't you? Fine. Do it. Stop thinking I GIVE A CRAP.

Also, get your damn finger out of your nose. It's disgusting. Maybe that's why nobody likes you and why that girl won't call you. Because you're a loser in New English clothes, picking your nose on the corner.

You're gross.

Excuse me ...

.. but Prince was on American Idol last night. I still haven't recovered. It was like I saw my entire life flash before me ... I have SO MANY MEMORIES attached to Prince songs, and there he was ... with those HOT BABES doing Laugh-in-esque go-go dancing, although robotically. It was, frankly, smokin' hot and I lost my mind. I mean ... he is such a showman.

SHIIIIIIT. I love Prince and I have been ignoring him for way too long.

My jaw literally dropped when he came out.

All the stars came out last night - I mean: DIONNE WARWICK AND FECKIN' BURT BACHARACH!!!!!!! I can't stand it. I cannot stand it. Bacharach looked kinda rickety, but come on - he's an octogenarian, practically - but what a nice vibe he has, what ease he has, right?? And Dionne. Talk about ease. Please. She looked fantastic, and she sounded even better.

Mary J. Blige came on and pretty much showed, in person, why Katherine McPhee sucks. Katherine McPhee sucks, people. I will not lower my standards of what I expect from performers just because the American Idol people are amateurs. Nope. I'm with Simon on that one. Will people PAY to see you do that? Does it stand up to real performers? To my mind, Katherine is a glorified version (prettied up by stylists) of a musical-theatre geek, on a community theater level. She's stiff - she looked like she didn't know HOW to commit to the arm movements in "I'm every woman" - she kept glancing at the girls on either side of her ... EW. She's a very lucky girl to have gotten that far on so little natural ability. Maybe she has a pretty vibrato, and white teeth but in terms of putting herself out there? Actually USING herself? Actually sharing herself? She SUCKS. Give me Taylor any day. He seems to know who he is, and he is not shy about sharing it. And THAT is what a star is ... way more than the voice. (I also don't think McPhee is all that good a singer. I just don't. She has about 10 notes where she can feel confident - and that's not enough. Or - it's certainly not enough if you're going to be stiff, precious, cautious, and afraid to move your arms. I find her INTENSELY BORING to watch.) But back to Mary J. Blige ... I've always liked her, but watching her last night was truly remarkable. She just GOES for it when she sings. There is no barrier between herself, her voice, and her audience. She lets her talent flow - I just loved how generous she was to Elliot too, holding his hand, but still: I got goosebumps watching her.

But let's get back to Prince.

Holy mackerel. He looked great, he sounded great - and I'm serious: about 10 separate VERY SPECIFIC memories floated through my head as I watched him.

Prince. I'm a fan of his for life - in the same way that I'm a fan of Margaret Atwood's for life - even through her bad books, her pretentious nonsense - don't care. I'll buy every damn book she writes. Same with Prince. I don't care what he does, become a symbol (literally), tattoo stuff on his body, pose nude, go into hiding like Kane ... whatever. He's incredible. I just forgot about him for a while.

Prince showing up made the night for me. The memories .... good, bad, ugly, life-changing ... I've got so many that are attached to his music. Need to buy a ton of his albums - I used to have them all (on CASSETTE TAPE) and this must be rectified. I can't not have Prince in my life anymore.

Oh yeah. And congrats, Taylor! I'm psyched for you. You deserve it.

But for me the whole night was about Mary J. Blige and Prince. Now THOSE people are stars.

Happy birthday, Ella Fitzgerald!

One of my favorite things to do is to get Mitchell talking about Ella Fitzgerald. He's one of those people who knows how to describe WHY she was able to do what she did ... what is special about her (although her special-ness is obvious to the unschooled listener like myself) ... and why she's one of the all-time greats.

I was not aware of this small factoid, which just gives me goosebumps:

Marilyn Monroe was one of Ella's biggest fans. Fitzgerald said, "I owe Marilyn a real debt. It was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the '50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again."

sniff ... sniff ...

Happy birthday Billie Holiday

"Singing songs like the 'The Man I Love' or 'Porgy' is no more work than sitting down and eating Chinese roast duck, and I love roast duck. I've lived songs like that."

-- Billie Holiday

Please, Billie fans: leave your thoughts, reminsicences, revelations about this aMAZing woman here. I always get inarticulate about musicians who rock me to the core. I never know what to say, or how to say it. I can easily talk about actors, and explain WHAT IT IS, exactly, that I love about them ... but ... I can't do it with musicians.

My friend Mitchell is a genius at that. He can talk eloquently about what Roberta Flack's specific gift was, for example - in terms of context, and where she came from, and the ground from which she sprung, and how that informed her style of singing ... etc. He can SPEAK to the details.

So I would love to hear what she means to those who love her.

In the meantime, here is one of my favorite stories about Billie Holiday. And I feel kind of cool because this is first-hand information. Or - perhaps I should say second-hand. It was told to me by someone who was THERE.

Billy Crystal told this story when he came and did a seminar at my school. He had kind of an extraordinary childhood. His father managed a very famous, at the time, music store on 42nd Street (Commodore Music Shop), and his uncle was Milt Gabler, founder of the jazz label Commodore Records . So Billy Crystal's childhood was filled with memories of all of the jazz greats basically hanging out in his family living room.

Billie Holiday was Billy Crystal's babysitter.

Okay, can you get that? She BABYSAT for him.

The image of that is just too bizarre and funny to even imagine.

Anyway, here is one of the stories Crystal told to us. And of course he's a wonderful mimic, so he could do all the voices ... you'll just have to fill the mimicry part in in your head.

He was 4 or 5 years old, and Billie Holiday, his babysitter (uhm - WHAT??) took him to see Shane. It was a life-changing experience for Crystal. The movie went through him like a bullet. He watched the entire thing sitting on Billie Holiday's lap, the two of them absolutely silent, enraptured, riveted. He didn't move. She didn't move. They didn't eat popcorn or candy, nothing. They just STARED up at the REVELATION that was Shane.

Then came the famous last scene.

The small child's voice echoing: "Come back, Shane..." (Crystal did the echo when he told the story) "come ba-ack sha-ane...shane... shane..."

Crystal, a small boy, perched on Holiday's lap, couldn't move, couldn't speak. He held out hope. He held out hope that Shane would, indeed, "come back".

Then he heard Holiday say, from behind him, in a tone of blunt bitter to-herself resignation, "He ain't never comin' back."

Kinda says it all. Happy birthday, Lady Day.

Odetta

Coming home last night as the grey clouds hunkered down over the city, bringing back rain and cold. Coming home to Mitchell, who had called me earlier with these amazing words: "Let me know what time you plan on getting home so I can have dinner ready by then."

Uhm ... heaven??

But seriously. More than that. We've just had a great time. Pretty much doing NOTHING. Lying around, Mitchell does the crossword, sometimes we listen to music, we flip through books, we sit in the kitchen and talk ... we have covered MANY topics. For example: we talked about Kay Thompson for about 45 minutes.

I came home last night. Mitchell had gone for a run that day - came home, and - since it was chilly and rainy all day - had pretty much just stayed in my apartment, and watched old video clips online - stuff on YouTube. Stuff like Dinah Washington at the Newport Jazz festival. Ella performing live. Sarah Vaughan on some television show. All of Mitchell's ICONS. We saw an incredible clip of Johnny Cash and Odetta singing a duet. Sadly, there were no Lena Horne clips to be found. But Mitchell just ... went nuts with the You Tube. Tracking down clips of Barbra, Burt Bacharach ... all the classics.

We talked about how, as kids, we basically just listened to the records our parents had. These were the records I remembered. His parents' albums were all of those jazz, r & b, and soul classics - from the 40s, 50s, 60s.

I just think that's so cool.

Oh, and dinner was made. Ready for me. So sweet!!

There was corn on the cob, chicken and a salad.

We had the windows open in the other room, and we could hear the rain coming down softly, peacefully. There was a cool breeze coming in. The lights were low, homey ...

Oh, and we had been so blown away by the Odetta/Cash duet that Mitchell popped on some Odetta. I don't own any Odetta - so Mitchell had to go to his little CD collection that he has brought to my humble abode.

This didn't' even occur to me until later on, after dinner - how perfect it was to have a big random Odetta appreciation moment and then to be able to listen to an entire CD of hers immediately ...

I turned suddenly to Mitchell: "Uhm ... you just happen to have an Odetta CD on you?"

"Oh. It's always on me." Mitchell replied, matter-of-factly.

Beautiful.

My mom LOVES Odetta. I called my parents later and just had to tell her: "Guess who we are listening to right now ..."

hahahaha

Mitchell has a great story about seeing Odetta last year in Chicago. But I'll let him regale you with it in the comments, should he so choose. I have heard him tell the story, but I made him tell it to me again. The woman has gotta be 80 years old, she's got the bifocals on, and she is still touring. She's still LIVING it. How many people do that?? She's actually playing in NYC on Friday. But we looked up her tour dates and she is pretty much booked through the next 5 months. Amazing.

Odetta softly playing ... the rain coming down ... incense burning ... my Bohemian little apartment, with Oriental rugs, and red-shaded lamps, and mis-matched furniture ... Mitchell looked around at one moment and said, "Wow. I feel almost like ... we are back in time ... when Odetta first started singing - like the surroundings, the eclectic furniture, the low lights ... kind of bohemian energy ... we could so be kids back then, listening to her for the first time."

This is one of the many many reasons why I love Mitchell.

Tonight is an event

A long-awaited event.

Mitchell and I are going over to Alex's apartment ... and we are all going to watch Liza with a feckin' Z ... the TV event of the decade. It hasn't been seen in 34 years. I know about it because Mitchell used to blast the album in college. But now ... we get to see it.

Here's a nice article about the whole thing. The whole Liza with a Z thing.

We get to see it. The fact that I get to see it with Mitchell and Alex - two Liza Minelli FREAKS of the highest order - is so so perfect.

Can't wait. By then, the effect of the two martinis will have (hopefully) worn off.

It's gonna be unbelievable.

Liza with a Z. So so exciting. I love how much press it's getting. She deserves it. It's an EVENT. Bring it, Liza, bring it! I'm thrilled to see her at her prime ... when she had no fear, when she was a lunatic, yes - she always was ... but people don't really have careers like hers anymore. That kind of all-out big-singing ENTERTAINER.

Liza with a Z.

To be cynical about her, or to only snicker at her because of her public meltdowns ... is to miss the point. When the snickerers have won three Tonys, one Oscar, an Emmy, and a Grammy Legend Award - maybe then I'll listen to them. But until then? I'm givin' Liza the props she deserves (and if you want to see why - watch her interview on Inside the Actors Studio - it was absolutely extraordinary.) I realize that she was once a bloated tick in my presence, and that was highly unfortunate. Her meltdown a public event. I felt HARASSED by Liza Minelli. But to discount what she accomplished because of her private life, her drug problems, her tabloid meltdowns? I will not do that. That was why the bloated-tick experience was so upsetting. Because .... it was feckin' LIZA MINELLI. So far to fall.

You want to see her at her height? You want to see WHY the chick has won three Tonys (oh wait - she actually won a fourth Tony - basically just for being HER), an Oscar, an Emmy, and a Grammy? Tune in tonight to watch Liza with a Z. You don't win that many awards without having your shit TOGETHER.

Meryl Streep was in acting school - which can treat acting like a very self-conscious and precious thing... people being self-involved, precious with their gift, holding back, second-guessing. Meryl Streep, obviously a phenom in her own right, didn't really feel like this whole acting-school thing was for her. And then Meryl went to go see Liza Minelli in The Act (Liza won one of her Tonys for that). Meryl said that she got standing room tickets, in the back row - and that she will never forget how Liza Minelli just threw herself so into her part, into her singing - her energy was so enormous - that Meryl Streep, in the back row, felt it like a physical assault. Meryl realized that if you have a gift - for acting, for singing, whatever - the point is to SHARE it, with all you've got. GIVE IT. It was a revelation to her, being in acting school ... which can make actors timid. Meryl never looked back. Liza Minelli was who she aspired to be. No fear, no timidity: GIVE IT OUT.

I love that story.

So tonight? I'll be sitting in between Mitchell and Alex, reveling in the return of Liza. Nobody has seen this TV special since it was first on 34 years ago. If you have wanted to see it before now, you would have had to go to the Museum of Film and Television here in New York and request it ... which Alex did, so obsessed she was with ... Liza, and WHY everyone still references Liza with a Z as some kind of high-water mark of not only television, but music, dance, and Liza's career.

So tonight? We'll be watching. We'll be watching one of the biggest phenoms of our profession - and yes, she's crazy, and yes, she makes people uncomfortable, and yes, she has not aged well ... but Liza in her prime? Untouchable. We will revel in it tonight.

ipod thoughts

Thought I'd update everyone on my iPod progress. Because I know that it is just SO FASCINATING and you all are WAITING WITH BREATH A-BAIT to hear about my upload process.

Listening to the shuffle feature is now a distinctly humorous experience - because I have uploaded my entire CD collection (which, actually, is not that extensive - I still listen to cassette tapes as I have said a gazillion times) - so now I'm walking along the street, listening to the Shuffle - and Led Zeppelin comes on. Whoo-hoo. Let's rock out. Next song. Some random Clancy Brothers song. hahahahaha I LOVE THAT. I have 15 Clancy Brothers albums ... so you can imagine how often they come up now. It's hilarious. But I love it!! I'm rarely in the mood to listen to a Clancy Brothers album all the way through - although I have gone through phases where they are all I can listen to. But to hear them sprinkled in among Nirvana and the Eagles and Fiona Apple ... is just delicious.

I have written before about my strange and deep response to the Everly Brothers. Or perhaps not so strange - they're classic! But it's strange to me in that - it's a response that seems to come from outside of me. Like: I NEED to hear them on an almost daily basis. I don't know why this is. There's something very very familiar to me about them - and I didn't grow up when the Everly Brothers were in their heyday - this is not a personal memory being brought up ... And yet they make me feel nostalgic. They also make me feel CREATIVE and ready to get to WORK. I do not know why. More than any other music. You know how some music just makes you feel positive? Like: Wait a minute, I can get myself OUT of this bad situation if I put my mind to it ... Or it makes you suddenly feel like: wow. Everything is going to be okay. Everything already IS okay. I don't know - maybe that's just me. I have a hard time just feeling like everything is going to be okay. The Everly Brothers - especially "Bye Bye Love" (even though it's such a damn sad song!!! hahaha) make me feel okay. In a real UBER way. I hear them, their harmonies, their lyrics, their melodies ... and suddenly, I am not only FEELING okay, but I am ready to get down to whatever work needs to get done.

I am so not explaining this well.

All I can say is - I have The Everly Brothers Greatest Hits on, of course, a cassette tape. And since I have discovered what they give to me, emotionally, not a day goes by when I don't listen to at least one of their songs. Mainly Bye Bye Love. I listen to it as I get ready to face my day.

So I've been so busy with the iPod upload - that I have turned a blind eye to all my damn CASSETTES - which I cannot upload. Argh - gonna have to get to work on that.

But a couple days ago, I was walking down the street - listening to my iPod shuffle (Madonna - Huey Lewis - Clancy Brothers - Elvis Costello - Johnny Cash) and out of nowhere, I thought of the Everly Brothers and realized I needed to buy a Greatest Hits of theirs ASAP. A Barnes & Noble was a block away so I went into their music section, bought their Greatest Hits, uploaded it that night ... and now, on occasion, they show up in the Shuffle.

And EVERY TIME I hear the opening chords of one of their songs ... it's this strange uplifted feeling. I rise up out of myself.

What is that?? I have no idea. Just know that it is so.

Oh, and I took a 4 mile run the other night - and at one point during the run, the song "Sit Down, John" came on - from one of my favorite musicals (Duh) 1776. I haven't heard that song in years. And as I ran, I just started LAUGHING out loud listening to it - it's so MARVELOUS. The loud male chorus - of all the delegates at the Convention - singing out: "SIT DOWN, JOHN ... SIT DOWN, JOHN ... FOR GOD'S SAKE - JOHN - SIT DOWN!!!" I just looooooooove it. Marvelous.

Oh, and I'm really into Franz Ferdinand. Weirdly: I wasn't as much into their stuff on the CDs I had - maybe because I just didn't like listening to them all the way through, not in the mood for them for 8 songs at a time. I don't know. But every time one of their songs pops up on Shuffle, I feel this thrill. Their songs work well as stand-alone songs.

iPod thoughts

The importation of tunes continues apace.

Thoughts as I reacquaint myself with my own music:

-- Uhm, okay - Metallica fans, I truly need your input: Do I like "LOAD"? Help me. I have owned it for years, I listen to it on occasion ... but I still don't know if I like it. What is the consensus? Is there a consensus? [Update: I guess the fact that I even need to ask gives me my answer. But still - would love to hear from other fans what they think of that album.]

-- I love the song "No News" by Lonestar. I have it on a country compilation CD - which mostly BLOWS - but I have kept the CD lo these many years for that one song. Now I can get rid of the damn CD. "She missed the bus, missed the plane ..." Just love the song.

-- I adore Xanadu. "Have to believe we are ma-gic Nothing can stand in our way ..." Please. It's classic.

-- Is it possible to have too much Queen, U2, Eminem, or Pat McCurdy? I can't believe the STACK of CDs for these artists alone.

-- I need more Lyle Lovett.

-- I love Little River Band and I don't care who knows.

-- Oh. And same with Huey Lewis. I have every single CD the guy ever did. Huge HUGE fan. Now that his songs can reside in the God-given SHUFFLE feature, I can re-acquaint myself again with all the songs of his I love. Because it's not just the hits - there are songs on those albums which might not have gotten huge radio-play, but were my favorites. Yay!!

Inauguration walk

I have imported many many many songs into my iPod. I am all about the iPod right now. I'm having a friend over tonight to watch the Oscars and I can barely stop fiddling with my iPod long enough to make us some food to eat this evening. I mean ... I can't stop. And yesterday was when the full import of ... well ... what an iPod actually IS ... hit me. I'm not a tech geek. I don't keep up with that stuff. I still don't have a DVD player, for God's sake. And the remote for my VCR doesn't work, so if I want to rewind to watch a scene again, I have to stand up, walk across the room, hold down Rewind, find my spot and then go back and sit down. This actually doesn't torment me. It really doesn't. I do not need to keep up with the every new thing that comes out. I also do not have the money to give a crap about what everybody else has. I just don't. I'm fine with my VCR. And I can watch DVDs on my laptop if I want to. I'm fine.

But I've been walking around with a Walkman for years now. I make mix tapes. I have them in many categories - because you know how it is - mix tapes get stale ... and I personally don't want a Joan Baez song to be in the middle of a mix when I'm on the treadmill. No. So I have the "running mix" - actually I have several of them - to use during workout moments. This is all the hard driving hard rock stuff that keeps me going, pushes me to complete what I'm doing, pushes me to keep up with the beat. Lots of Foo Fighters. Lots of Madonna (great beats - really insistent). B-52s is awesome. Etc. I have a ton of these mix tapes.

And yesterday I inaugurated my iPod and used the "shuffle" feature and ... I am just blown away.

I know I'm years behind everybody else, but whatever. I'm at my own pace. Like ... okay, here's the deal: I would never just sit down to listen to Billy Joel's Songs in the Attic, song by song, all the way through - like I used to. Yes. I love that album. It's my favorite Billy Joel and it's the only one I own. Billy lost me when he tried to get socially relevant. Billy. Please stop. BUT. That's not the point. I haven't listened to that album in YEARS. If I'm making a mix tape for someone or myself, maybe I'll pull it out and put one of the songs on ... but that's it. But I imported every song from that album (and - unbelievably - I love EVERY song on that album - I think it's terrific) ... and so now - with the whole shuffle thing - I'm listening to Queens of the Stone Age or The Waterboys and suddenly - on comes "summer, Highland Falls" and I feel this jolt of excitement. It really is like the best radio station ever. I can INTEGRATE all of that music into one long continuous mix. It's ... so damn cool that I am literally beside myself.

I have to go cook some food for my friend. But I can't ... seem ... to stop ... fiddling ... with the ... iPod.

So yesterday was my introduction to the shuffle feature. I took everyone's advice (thank you!!) and tried to pace myself in terms of importing music. I am going slowly. I need to pick and choose the necessary songs off of each album. Not EVERY album is like Songs in the Attic where I like them all. (I guess I could live wihtout hearing "Captain Jack" again - but still - when it's in this shuffle formation, it'll pop up once in 10 years - and in THAT way it will be fun to hear it again. Know what I'm sayin'????)

I have 200 songs on the iPod now or something like that. All my Queen, Queens of the Stone Age, Sinead O'Connor, Metallica, U2, the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, the Donnas, Avril Lavigne ... uhm who else ... well, you know. My faves.

And yesterday was freezing cold. I put on my workout shit, bundled up in a sweatshirt with a big roomy pocket in the front, put a hat on, put the iPod in my pocket (like I was a marsupial of some kind) and headed out for a walk.

The glory of that walk will last for days. I took another one today. I feel like I was shedding my skin or something. First of all: I was in my own personal music video for about 3 hours. Yes, I walked for 3 hours. A power walk too. I can barely move today. I walked along the Hudson north - for miles - then turned around - walked back down the Hudson - for miles - went down into Hoboken - walked along the waterfront there - then back up the hill to my house. I have no idea how many songs I listened to. I was just ... BESIDE MYSELF.

It was almost an out of body experience at times. I felt the burn in my legs, my heart rate going up, I felt all that stuff - but I was on another PLANE. I just kept going and going and going. The day was blindingly bright - I walked along Boulevard East - past Alexander Hamilton Park - heh heh - and at that point, there is a sheer dizzying drop down a cliff - down below you can see cars as small as matchbox cars - and then the gleaming blue of the Hudson - with teeny tugboats chugging by - small as toys - and then the city. The city. That beautiful Emerald City across the way. I never get over it. The skyline. The missing part of the skyline. The thick cluster of skyscrapers in midtown, all glimmering blue mirrors ... Just breathtaking. But my experience of this walk was not literal - I was all OVER the place in my mind. The cold air, the music, the Empire State Building, the burn in my legs, and then - on a whole other plane, my emotions. What I'm going through. I'm going thru a lot. A lot of my activity is designed to push all that shit back. It's bothersome, it's painful, and it's just easier to read a book and not deal with it. But on the inauguration walk - with the help of this soundtrack - I floated off into that space - I didn't sit and concentrate on it, or try to 'work' on it ... I just let it into my heart a little bit. It's easy to do that when you're in a music video. Music is all about expressed emotion. It helps us, the listener, to express our emotions. That's the whole deal. And I need a lot of help to do that. I guess I'm just out of practice.

So yesterday I must have walked 15 miles - just zoning OUT to the best mix of music ever known to man. At times I was in tears. At times I felt compelled to become an air guitarist. I didn't give a shit. At times I stopped walking, leaned against the wall lining New Jersey and stared at New York - just to catch my breath, and also to catch up with myself.

I'm a little bit lovesick right now and not even really admitting it - hahaha I'm such a retard - and through this Shuffle feature WHICH IS THE BEST INVENTION EVER - I came across the Queen song "Too Much Love will Kill You". I guess I was never really familiar with that song, as much of a Queen fan as I am. I just ... I felt like I had never heard it before. I was charging along into the wind, and it came on - and it was like it sliced through me like an arrow. I need to write about that song in depth. I think I'll do it over here. I started writing the essay in my head as I walked - trying to figure out what it was, EXACTLY, that was so GETTING me in the listening. It's the lyrics, sure - they were reflecting what I was feeling perfectly - uhm, that "too much love will kill you" - that's just how I was feeling - but it's also just his VOICE. He sings that song as though it is a Shakespearean monologue. It's a STORY. You get the whole story of what is going on - and his voice - GodDAMNIT, Freddie, you fucking KILL ME.

I could not get enough of that song. I listened to it probably 20 times in a row yesterday on my mammoth walk, because that was how much I needed to hear it. And every time I heard it, two things happened simultaneously: I lifted above the moment - I transcended the everyday banality of the situation - and got straight into the experiential, the sensoral. I was FEELING what I was FEELING. This may sound retarded and like Being a Human Being 101, but it's hard for me, at times, to really even understand what is going on with me at any given moment. My friend David always laughs at me, like: "But Sheila ... you're so THERE for me ... you're so insightful ..." Yup. With my friends I'm awesome. With me? I am usually the last to understand that something is actually going on. Dense as fog. So "Too Much Love Will Kill You" just sliced right into the heart of what is REALLY going on - and so then it was like I had permission to just feel it. Just feel it, Sheila. Be lovesick. Whatever. Go for it. So I was. It was AWESOME. Thanks, Freddie!! I swear, though, I have to write more about that song.

So those were the two things going on - rising up above any petty anxieties or cerebral concerns that I always torment myself with - and also going down INTO the experience. Which is just a way of admitting that it is actually going on. Probably a ton of you won't know what I'm talking about. That's cool - my friends will. They get it, they know my struggles ... to just BE HERE. In this moment.

Exercise always helped me to do that. Just be in the moment. If you're on a 10 mile run, you just go moment to moment. At least I do, since I didn't run competitively. Or - I did run in races, but it was for myself. So running is a good way for me to get out of my own way - stop thinking so much - stop that - and just focus on whatever is going on right now, in the moment. It's quite a bit like acting, actually. Good actors all have the ability to do that. The job is not called THINK-er, or ANALYZ-er. It's called ACT-or. When we "act" we are in the moment.

This is a long way of saying I love my iPod. This is why I love my iPod. It's been the missing piece. I have been resisting my exercise routine because of this whole cerebral issue - I find it a struggle - but now that barrier has been swept away.

Yesterday was the best day I have had in a long long time. I came home after my marathon - my cheeks were BEET RED - I looked healthy to myself. In the mirror. I was IN my face. I could see ME there.

Then I did my cooking for the week - I'm a bulk cooker, haha - all as I was uploading new music - and I felt like I had some kind of huge RELEASE that day. I felt free, like a weight had been lifted, like my eyes were clear.

UPDATE: Oh fuck it, we'll just order a pizza tonight. I can't cook right now. I have too much iPod-ing to do!!

Song catalog

We've got some freezing rain here on the last day of the year. I spent the day outside, am now cozy and inside. And The Rookie is on. Uhm - can you say "sheer Sheila joy"? I bought 3 Cds today: Eminem's Curtain Call, Fiona Apple's latest, and Franz Ferdinand.

Which reminds me that I found this today:

Tell me what the first song that comes to your mind: (By the way - I took this to mean the sentiment expressed in the song itself - not necessarily the way it makes ME feel. Like - the first one - Hate song - the first thing that came to my mind is Everclear's blistering song about a father who abandoned him. This isn't MY hate, it's HIS hate. So that's kind of where I went with this ... if that makes sense. Sometimes the two things overlap - like with "something to talk about" - it's about being flirty, and having a "crush" - that's the topic of the song. And it also happens to make ME feel like being an outrageous flirt. Something in the music, or how it's all put together - puts me in a flirty social mood. So whatever. Onward.)

1. Hate song? "Father of mine" - Everclear

2. Love song? "I saw her standing there" - the Beatles - that's probably more of a "lust" song, but to be honest, I don't see the difference. It's the pheromones, you understand. Converging the two has always worked for me. So "I saw her standing there" stands as my choice.

3. Crush or Flirt song? "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About" - Bonnie Raitt

4. Fuck song? "Black Hole Sun" - Soundgarden. Also "Crazy On You" by Heart

5. Goofy song? Travis' awesome cover of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time"

6. Dance song? "Tragedy" - the Bee Gees

7. Rage song? "Kim" - Eminem

8. Slow song? It seems so high schoolish to think of "slow songs". My mind is a blank. All I can think of is "Purple Rain" because that's how all of our high school dances ended.

9. Make-up Song? "If you leave" - Good Charlotte

10. Redneck song? Uhm - Toby Keith? Hate that jackass. But not because he's a 'redneck'. I just hate him because he's a big fat phony. But then I also thought of that kind of fun song "I'm a redneck woman" - love it - which has a different fun-loving spin on the word "redneck"

11. Make-out song? "Tempted" - Squeeze

12. Break-up song? "Washing of the Water" - Peter Gabriel - I find that song almost too painful to listen to. Amazing.

13. Happy song? "Fields of Joy" - Lenny Kravitz - also the theme song from The Greatest American Hero which is an amazing song - better than Prozac - it literally has the ability to TOTALLY change my mood. I could be having a blue day, and suddenly I hear it on some nostalgic radio station - and my heart fills with hope and joy.

14. Sad song? "Life Story" from the musical Closer than Ever. Kills me. Also "Your Face" by Cliff Eberhardt. There was a good 5 years when i was unable to listen to that song. Which was a bummer because I loved that album.

15. Corny song? "I've never been to me" - Charlene. Yup. This really dates me. I have no idea why this song became such a huge hit. It was played endlessly. The lyrics are so cringe-worthy that you are embarrassed for everyone involved.

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

I just have no words. The thing fisks itself. "subtle whoring"? WHAT? Nice justification there, babe. Oh, so if it's "subtle" it's not really "whoring"? And what IS 'subtle whoring"? I am embarrassed to still be asking these questions but I've been wondering about it ever since the song first came out.

The spoken-word section makes me want to punch a wall.

16. Christmas song? "Christmas Is a Time to Say I love You" - Billy Squier - I love to have any excuse to reference this song on my blog.

17. Perverted or Horny song? "Hungry like the wolf" - duran duran - the woman moaning in the background at the end always made me feel very uncomfortable in high school when it came on while my mother was driving me to play practice or whatever

18. Boring song? Any time Van Morrison starts "riffing". Which is in every song. The only Van Morrison song I like is when they do "Raglan Road" with The Chieftains. Other than that? Every 25 goddamn minute song could easily be a 3 minute song, and be FAR better. Stop "expressing yourself", please.

19. Favorite song? Oh Lord. At the moment? Or eternally? At the moment: "Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. Also "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin. "Holiday" by Green Day as well. Eternally? I'd have to say "Fields of Joy", by Lenny Kravitz - "Rape Me", by Nirvana, "Monkey Wrench" by Foo Fighters, "Say Yeah" by Pat McCurdy - I am sure there are a gazillion more, but these just come to mind.

20. Funeral song? Uhm ... "Leavin' on a Jet Plane" - I have no idea.

Please feel free to leave your own choices in the comments section!

Amarillo Army

This is a "music video" that probably many of you have seen - made by British soldiers in Iraq. Click on it to download. If you haven't seen it - watch the whole thing. If it doesn't bring a sponteaneous grin to your face, then I kinda don't want to know you, mkay? No, just kidding. It's just that I, personally, find it one of the HAPPIEST things I've ever seen - just the sheer JOY of it - made even more palpable because of their surroundings. See it!!

The video spread like wildfire throughout the Internet (Here's the story of the video - Thank you so much, Alex, for calling my attention to it) - causing laughter and joy wherever it went. Crashing servers on both sides of the Atlantic.

I myself have viewed it countless times - I just get so caught up in it every time - and no matter how many times I see the Bandaged-Mummy-Esque guy join the procession near the end- I just LOSE it. I love how it's all done in one take - so the cast of thousands are basically WAITING, in place, waiting for the camera to come by so they can leap into action - The image of these soldiers hiding all over the desert camp, in various costumes, waiting for their "turn" is just HYSTERICAL. I love these men and I love their spirits. Watch how the whole thing comes to a perfect and comedic ending. The human spirit. I know they just did this as a GOOF to "lift morale", and keep their spirits up - and it ended up being forwarded ad nauseum - but it's the kind of thing that just makes me really happy that I have seen it, and really happy that these men are on the planet with me. I just find their energy so infectious.

Watch it. Laugh. Joy. Love them.

And a big thank you to our servicemen and women - far away from homes and their families on this holiday!!

Metallica on the 29th floor

On the 29th floor. Big apartment building in the West 50s with a spectacular view. The room actually is on a corner - so you get two walls of windows converging.

Lights turned down dim. Teeny Christmas tree, with white lights on it, and sparkley red decorations.

The sparkling skyline of the city unfurling in the canyons outside the window.

Glasses of wine. Soft conversation.

And then:

Out of nowhere:

BLARING Metallica's St. Anger and dancing like absolute MANIACS in front of the glass windows.

hahahaha

It was like a FEVER came over both of us and we just had to GET. IT. OUT.

We didn't discuss it, or say, "Let's play Metallica" - it didn't go along with the mood of our night at all - which was quiet, contemplative. But then the CD popped on in the rotation - and that was IT.

We were thrashing lunatics in front of the plate glass, 29 floors up, for ... oh ... 20 minutes? We had no idea how long we were in that state - taken over by the music. Literally thrashing as though we were at a Metallica concert. We almost missed our movie because of it. We were like, in the middle of the thrashing: "What time is it?" "9:10." "Oops. Let's go." We dropped the thrashing, instantly, put on our coats and left for the movie.

hahahaha Why does this crack me up?

Oh yeah - and snow slanted through the sky, too. Cutting down through the darkness, billowing by the windows 29 floors up.

Awesome.

Albums from my childhood

I did not buy an album of my own until I was 12 years old. Pop music was completely unknown to me until I hit junior high. Before that - I listened to my parents albums. I still remember the little metal TV stand thingie - which held all the vinyl albums beneath, in slots. I love records. I love vinyl. There's something so exciting about sliding the record out from the cover - that popping a CD out of its case just DOES NOT capture. There's a ritual to vinyl. I'm nostalgic about it.

It's interesting: it seems like now, in the current generation, kids are the ones who sort of lead the parents, in terms of taste, and knowing what's hip, and cool. Like - the 13 year old daughter gets into Eminem, because she watches MTV, or whatever - and the parents may at first be concerned about it ... but then they realize the awesomeness ... and then they buy the albums. Without the 13 year old kid in the house, the parents might still be listening to their Go Gos albums from their youth - Not that there's anything wrong with that. I still have all my Go Gos albums. And I also yearn to bulk up my Adam Ant and Billy Idol collection. I'm just saying that kids are WAY more savvy, in terms of pop culture, than we were in my generation. After all: we had 3 television stations. Well, no, we had 4 - including PBS. I remember when TV actually HAD NO PROGRAMMING after a certain hour of the night. They would play "The Star Spangled Banner", and show a waving flag and then the screen would go blank. Can you imagine??? There was no VCR in the house. We didn't sit around listening to the radio. (Now - this is just MY family. Other families were VERY in tune with what was going on - I remember the family down the street - they were always going to Elton John concerts, and they knew about stuff like Blondie and stuff like that ... But this was not how my family operated).

We were the kids. And we listened to the albums that my parents already had. We listened to them over ... and over ... and over ...

A couple of years ago, my parents and Jean and I were driving in the car. And something someone said reminded Jean and I (at the same moment) of some little coffee-house folk song that had been on one of those albums - 35 years ago - and Jean and I, simultaneously, with no discussion beforehand, BURST into song. My mother glanced at my father and said, 'We have ruined our children."

Like I said - once I got to junior high I made certain discoveries. I left the world of my parents music collection and learned about things like ... oh, Michael Jackson. And Air Supply. And Lionel Richie. And Cyndi Lauper. A whole new world opened up to me!!

What was the first album I bought on my own?

I heard the whole album at Mere's house - and it was the first time that I thought: I NEED to own that.

I look at that album cover and still feel a thrill of excitement - I so remember how much I was into that album. It absolutely blew my mind. Also ... there was this new-ness to the whole experience. It was the beginning of me choosing my own way. ELO!! hahahaha But it's true!!

My fantasy for this post (which I've had percolating for a while) was that I would be able to actually find images of all the old album covers from my parents collection - but I was only 3/4 of the way successful. Some of those albums have slipped off into oblivion - I have searched and searched, and cannot find images of the album covers anywhere. Two in particular. Oh, but they live on in my heart!!

Now there were other albums in my parents collection outside of the ones below - but for whatever reason, they didn't burn themselves into my psyche the way these ones did.

I know they had some Beatles, but I can't remember the albums. I seem to recall Abbey Road being there. I know they had Peter, Paul and Mary - which we all loved - but I can't remember the album. I know it was a live album. I know we had some Bob Dylan, but again - can't remember the albums.

The albums below are the ones that are emblazoned in my mind as forever being a part of my childhood, and a part of my growing up.

So. Here we go. Oh, and to my siblings: I am sure I have forgotten some. Please remind me of any I might have missed.

The albums in my parents record collection that made up my cultural landscape as a child:

This album was so huge in my life that in kindergarten I recited the entirety of "American Pie" on Show and Tell day. Uhm ... what? How much would I love to have a home video of me, with the colored ballies in my hair, wearing a small frock that my mother probably made me, and my shiny Mary Janes, shouting out to my kindergarten classmates:

Well, I know that you�re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin� in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenage broncin� buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

Other kids had brought in their pet turtle. Other kids did magic tricks. That was my Show and Tell. I was 5 years old. Let's say that that album had already woven itself into my DNA.

And it's still there. A couple years ago, I went to the Garth Brooks concert in Central Park - which was AWESOME - and at the very end, Brooks said something like: "And now I'd like to welcome to the stage my main influence - the man who pretty much is the reason I'm here today - Don McLean!"

It was a complete surprise, and people literally LOST THEIR MINDS. I started crying.

It's mainly because he - and that album in particular - is so wrapped up in my childhood that I can't separate the two. He is a part of my life. So to see him ... up there ... singing American Pie with Garth Brooks ... it was one of the coolest concert-moments of my entire life.

I do remember, though, being 5 years old, or 6 - and the album cover itself really frightened me. There was something violent about that huge thumb ... and the fact that he was swathed in darkness ... It scared me. I didn't know what it meant, but I knew it meant SOMEthing. As an adult, I can look at that photograph and see the anger beneath it - and somehow, as a child, I picked up on it.

And lastly: the line:

"I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before ..."

For some reason, as a child, I got it into my head that the sacred store was Anton's Deli - which was right around the corner from our house on Route 108. Every time I heard that particular verse, I would think mistily of Anton's Deli ... and how sad it was ... that there was no music there anymore.

Next album - it took me FOREVER to find the image of the album cover online - but I did it!!!

Bob Gibson's There's a Meetin' Here Tonight. Bob Gibson has a very Mighty Wind appeal - the kind of folk singing depicted in that film - the pre-political folk songs, the pre-message folk songs. Gibson is an unbelievable banjo player - with a marvelous voice - and we just loved loved loved this album. I still do - I have a cassette tape I made of my parents albums - with scratches in the vinyl intact.

Jean and I can still sing the entire album in its entirety.

"There's a meetin' here tonight
There's a meetin' here tonight
I know you by your friendly face
There's a meetin' here tonight ..."

My personal favorite?

"This train is bound for glory, this train ..."

He sang old spirituals - "Jordan River" ... He sang "Titanic", a rollicking funny version:

Oh, they built the ship Titanic to last a thousand years
But the good Lord could not save them from their fears
An iceberg on a wave
brought them to a watery grave
It was sad when that great ship went down

It was sad, oh glory, it was sad, halleluia
Sad when the great ship went down
Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives
It was sad when the great ship went down.

I have known a couple of banjo players in my life - and whenever I have said, "Uhm ... geeky reference ... but did you ever listen to Bob Gibson?" they flip OUT. "That dude could play." Banjo players all know who he was, and all rave about him.

Bob Gibson. Love that album. Love him.

"Woah back Buck and bee-baba-lan
Who brought the back Buck - WOAH Cunningham!"

I have no idea what I am talking about but Jean will remember.

Next album? It's still an album I listen to all the time:

The Clancy Brothers at Carnegie Hall! My parents had many more Clancy Brothers albums in their collection, but this one was our favorite - and indeed - it still is for me, today. It's a perfect album. Hard to call an album perfect, but this album is.

I loved the pictures of them on the back of the album, with their Irish knit sweaters, and their laughing faces. There was something about them ... something familiar ... I loved the accents. I had to warm up to Tommy Makem because he wasn't, you know, a Clancy ... and I didn't get half of their jokes ... but as the years have gone on, the humor deepens, I see what's going on - and best of all - my favorite thing about this album - is the crowd at Carnegie Hall. Listening to them cheer, and clap along, and burst into laughter gives me goosebumps to this day. They know all the words, get all the jokes ...

Perfect album. Just perfect.

Their whole medley of childhood songs they would sing ... I love that:

"Ahem! Ahem!
Me mother has gone to church!
She told me not to play with you because you're in the dirt!
It isn't because you're dirty
It isn't because you're clean
It's because you have the whooping cough and eat Margar-een."

You can imagine after listening to stuff like THAT that going to dances in junior high where everyone was gyrating to Michael Jackson was quite a culture shock.

Next album:

Ian and Sylvia!! The Mitch and Mickey of a bygone age. Aren't they both so gorgeous? My parents loved Ian and Sylvia and had many of their albums - I remember this album cover as well:

I actually can't remember any of their tunes - but the album covers themselves fill me with nostalgia - I can SEE our den on Paul Avenue, with the hooked rug, and the old couch, and I can HEAR the sounds of kids playing in the neighborhood outside the window ... and I can taste the popsicle I was probably eating ... and I know that I was wearing corduroy pants my mom made me, and I had my hair in ponytails ... Those two album covers bring back an entire world.

Stuff like this always reminds me of the brilliant statement by acting teacher Lee Strasberg: "Sometimes you look at a pair of your shoes and see your whole life."

Ian and Sylvia's album covers are like that for me.

Next album? This one was HUGE, at least to me:

Ah, the first chords:

"He was born in the summer of his 27th year ..."

Goosebump territory. I just loved John Denver. I think my love might have been validated by his appearnces on The Muppet Show and on Sesame Street. He seemed like the kind of guy who would understand kids.

OBVIOUSLY someone who wrote "Grandma's Featherbed" understood what it was like to be a kid!

This is from memory:

"It was 5 feet wide, 6 feet high
And soft as a downy chick
It was made from the feathers of forty-leven geese
Took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick
It'd hold eight kids and four hound-dogs
And a piggy we stole from the shed
We didnt get much sleep but we had a lot of fun
On grandmas feather bed"

I will overlook the unbelievable GOOFINESS of "forty-leven geese" - and just say: this song was one of those songs that I wanted to just climb into as a child. I wanted to be in that bed, I wanted to live in that world. I just loved it.

But there are other wonderful songs on that album - His version of "Mother Nature's Son" is great - and don't even get me started on "Matthew".

Yes, and joy was just a thing that he was raised on
Love was just a way to live and die
Gold was just a windy Kansas wheatfield
Blue was just the Kansas summer sky

And this always gets me right in the throat:

And so he came to live at our house
And he came to work the land
He came to ease my daddy's burden
And he came to be my friend

Goofy? Yes. Sentimental? Yes. But I guess I like sentimental if it's done right. "He came to be my friend". Denver's telling a story in that song. And that's the payoff moment. It's KILLER. Those lyrics have stayed with me for 35 damn years.

Next album?

Now - I could have SWORN that that was not the album cover. How I remember it is that the front of the album was a kind of swooping line drawing of a woman - kind of a very spare Mists of Avalon-ish woman - and on the back was a serious black and white photo of Joan Baez.

The only reason I know that this one is the album (and maybe they re-released it with a more modern cover) - is that this is the album that has Baez's version of Dylan's "Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" - which, I swear, I could not get enough of as a kid. The lyrics are so intricate, and ... they never repeat themselves ... and I remember thinking that this was a reaallly grown-up song. I couldn't understand it. It was in another realm, the realm of grown-ups. I could understand all of John Denver's songs, but there was a mystery at the heart of Baez singing "Sad-Eyed Lady" and I found it fascinating, and also vaguely upsetting. It made me feel left out. Her voice is so marvelous, so perfect, really ... but I didn't know what was going on ... who was the lady ... why were her eyes sad ... Genius lyrics.

My parents had a lot more Joan Baez in their collection - but this is the album that stands out for me, because of that one song.

Next album?

We listened to this album until it was filled with scratches and became uesless. We ADORED this album - only we ritualistically skipped over "On the street where you live". BORING! Now I love that song, but it's just the most boring thing on the album when you are 8. I loved her, I loved her voice, I especially loved her tour de force (although I wouldn't have called it that) on "Show Me". Now that I know how difficult that damn song is - I am even more blown away by Julie Andrews' pipes.

We loved this album. I never really liked the movie version because ... I just couldn't get the sound of Julie Andrews out of my head ... I didn't like that Audrey Hepburn was lip synching - even though there was a perfectly wonderful actress out there who had originated it and could sing her own stuff! Yes - even back then - I was aware of the injustices and realities of show biz.

Next album? Uhm ....

What? What IS this album? I am still totally confused by the entire project. I don't even know what the project WAS. Not to mention the album cover.

The cover, naturally, kind of scared me as a child ... because you can alllllllllmost see her boob ... and I just didn't want to see her boob. Also, I couldn't help but wonder: won't her skin be all sticky and gross after being covered in whipped cream? Ikky!

However: my sister Jean and I had HOURS of fun listening to this album. We would dress up in my mother's old party dresses, from her high school formals - one was green and pink - and one was white and yellow - they were gorgeous - with pouffy skirts that flared around when you twirled, and cinched waists - We would put on those dresses and do entire dance routines, involving pantomime, and choreography, to the Whipped Cream album. We had entire story-lines in our mind - there was one story-line involving a young man named Pedro, if I recall, and we would enact these stories - through dance - whirling around and around in the den - wearing my mother's dresses from her high school formals.

I guess it was the only way we could make sense of that terrifying album cover.

Now there were two other albums which were MAJOR in my life - and despite a long ardous search on the Internet - I cannot find the album covers from my memory.

But I will list the albums nonetheless - in case anyone out there has ANY information about any of these albums:

The Raunch Hands - these guys were from Harvard, I believe - 6 or 7 of them - and they formed a folk group - and put out a couple of albums. I loved them so much that I STILL keep my eyes open for second-hand versions of their albums. They may not be as good as I remember, but I am willing to take that chance. They were wonderful - I love male harmonizing.

Which leads me to the last album - the ultimate male harmonizers:

The Yale Whiffenpoofs. The oldest a capella group in America - the Yale Whiffenpoofs are 14 Yale undergraduates - chosen every year - and ... basically, they're unbelievable. You might recognize the current group from their brief appearance on The West Wing during a Christmas episode. When I found out that my friend Kate's brother HAD ACTUALLY BEEN A FECKIN' WHIFFENPOOF, I flipped out. Anyway, the album that my parents had - was an album they put out in 1959 - it was some anniversary, some important Whiffenpoof anniversary. I cannot find evidence of it ANYWHERE online - I still have a cassette tape that I made of my parents album - but it would be nice to have that particular album in my collection, in CD form. It's male singing at its best. Also, I remember the album cover - and I remember the back of the album - a scattering of black and white photos: Images from the black-tie dinner celebrating the Whiffenpoof anniversary - little doddering old men who had been in the Whiffenpoofs 40 years earlier, whatever - down to young strapping undergrades of the 1959 class ... Also, there were hot pictures of these guys singing all over the world - including a drop-dead gorgeous picture of them singing in some tropical country, or maybe in Florida - who knows - but whatever: they were wearing Bermuda shorts instead of the usual tuxedo. I LOVED that picture. I dreamt of dating a Whiffenpoof one day. When I finally met Kate's brother, the little child within me was a bit in awe. It was as though I was back in my parents den - an awe-struck young girl - looking at these strapping young Ivy Leaguers - wondering if I would ever be a grown-up ... and there I was, now an adult myself, meeting an ACTUAL Whiffenpoof.

Old dreams never die!

the virtuoso

Got this from my E-verse Radio newsletter - thought it was a cool quote:

"Fired by Little Richard. Fired by Ike and Tina Turner. Terminated by numerous now forgotten blues and rock bands. You would think this was the r�sum� of a second-rate back-up guitar player, but it's the precelebrity track record of no less than the late, great Jimi Hendrix. Often hired and often fired. In the end the reason was always the same: Hendrix's guitar solos that became, as Ike Turner said 'so elaborate they overstepped the bounds.' Yet those flashy, raucous, but elegant electric guitar solos would revolutionize rock music. They became Hendrix's trademark: colorful sounds that painted the anarchistic spirit of the late sixties. Hendrix described the sound he was reaching for as 'electronic church music.' However, while he was relatively unknown, many fellow musicians described his performances -- the sexual gyrations, the gimmicks, such as demolishing his guitar -- as 'too much.' But Hendrix was a guitar virtuoso. His imagination was boundless, and, for better and for worse, by the late 1960s, nothing anybody could imagine was too much."

- Darryl Lorenzo Wellington

In praise of Kashmir

You know how sometimes you hear a song you've heard a million times, and suddenly - it's like you hear it for the first time, and you can't believe how great it is???

I have just discovered "Kashmir", by Led Zeppelin.

I cannot get past it.

I cannot get past it.

I have it on a constant loop. I keep thinking: "Okay, now I can move on to other music ... or how 'bout the next song on the album ... I can probably move on to the next song ..." only to find that my desire to hear "Kashmir" again is too strong. So I hit Repeat.

My neighbors must be so OVER the Kashmir thing.

I actually have a bunch of Led Zeppelin in my collection ... and you know, whatever, "Kashmir" is part of it, I like it.

But yesterday - suddenly I HEARD it.

That underlying chord thing that they do throughout - I'm not a musician so I don't know how to describe it - you all know what I'm talking about - that theme that they keep coming back to throughout the song - and yet each time they come back to it, it's like it gets deeper, harder, rougher -

This is the part that reaaaaaalllly gets me:

All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find out where I've been ......

What he does with his voice on "been" - how he draws it out, going down a sharp, back up to the main note, but always with complete control - argh. Don't know how to describe it. But what he does with his voice there, and what the music is doing beneath his voice - just slices me open like a grapefruit, man. I think it's because that part is one of the "verses" - where they move away from that insistent chord thing going on beneath the whole song - and through the course of his long-held note on "been" - they move back into that theme - it reappears beneath his voice. Day-um, it's just exciting, whatever it is.

This song makes me want to trash a hotel room. Have anonymous liaisons in smoky corners. Do something insane. Get all nuts. It's a primal song. I don't even know what the hell they're talking about, I don't know why it's called Kashmir ... I don't need to know. Frankly I don't care.

I. Can't. Stop. Listening. To. It.

It would be so empty without him ...

Okay, folks. Not sure what it is about this particular post - but random people out there seem to be under the impression that I actually AM Marshall Mathers. Check out the last couple of comments. I finally closed the post, and deleted about 20 other comments like those ... but now ... they have tracked down my email, and they send me tormented notes - (or - they send Marshall tormented notes ... thinking that I AM him)

"Yo! Don't retire, yo!"

And generally, they all refer to him as "Em". You know, the familiarity of a nickname.

"Yo, Em, heard the news. I am so sad. So sad."

Em. hahaha

I have no idea what is going on - who linked to this post - it's not in my referral log - but somehow - it has spread across the planet that you can actually leave messages for "Em" here.

These letters, by the way, do come from all over the world. One dude wrote to me (or ... he wrote to Marshall Mathers) from Kuwait. "I am from Kuwait ... we love your music ... do not retire!" (To quote Humphrey Bogart: "You know you're famous when they know your name in Karachi.")

Well now it looks like Mr. Mathers is taking a small break, but reports of his "retirement" were hugely exaggerated. You hear that, world? So you can stop writing me tormented letters bemoaning the loss you already feel. Mkay? Eminem ain't going anywhere.

As a matter of fact, he's putting together a greatest hits album.

So calm down, world. Calm the hell DOWN everyone who has written to me from Indiana, from Germany, from France, from Kuwait, from England, from Idaho, from Queens, from Sydney Australia, from India ... (I'm not kidding - these are the countries and states represented in the letter chain).

Mr. Marshall Mathers is not retiring.

Also: I AM NOT EMINEM. I don't know why you think I am ... but I am not!!!

Just cleanin' out my closet here, folks, just cleanin' out my closet!

Happy birthday ...

to Bruce Springsteen!

God, that image is so evocative for me of a certain time and place. I remember that album coming out. I was in high school. And - literally - you could not get away from that album. It was everywhere. E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.

Mitch, one of my best blog-friends out there, is a major Springsteen fan - and I just looked up his archive of writing on the man. It's funny when an artist somehow - explains your own life to you - at different stages of your life ... Like, you grow along with the artist. It's amazing - these people who have had really really long careers ... Sometimes you hear one song, and you can flash back 20 years in time to a specific place, a specific sensation ... You know where you were, but more importantly than that, more evocatively: You know WHO you were. We change, we grow, we evolve. But music, and musicians who call us out, who challenge us, who evoke emotions, who remain honest and true ... can remind us of WHO we were. Here's a post of Mitch's about this very thing - and he says it WAY better than I ever could.

I'll be honest. Mitch's posts about Springsteen bring a lump to my throat.

Listen to Mitch's words:

But Springsteen has (again with the High Infidelity-level specious associations which, as damnable luck would have it, seem just as credible as they are ridiculous) always caught my mood perfectly - the longing for deliverance in Darkness on the Edge of Town, the wary appraisal of The River, the weary acceptance of Tunnel of Love, the disconcertion of real life, and reconciliation with the ghosts of one's earlier life, from Human Touch and Lucky Town.

Now, The Rising - on one level, "about" September 11 (sometimes very directly). On another level...

...I almost wrote "It's about all of us", but I haven't heard the album, and that'd be a pretty pretentious thing to say anyway.

But five'll get you ten it's about me. Or that's how it'll feel, as I try to raise a couple of kids in a world that has nothing to do with the world I or my parents grew up in. To paraphrase one of his greatest moments - I'm 39, I've got a boy of my own now. I sat up with him the other night, and said this is your world, now.

I'll be waiting at midnight, tomrorow night, for the album to come out of the shipping box. I'm a fan.

I have my reasons.

Here's Mitch's wonderful post on the 30 year anniversary of Born to Run. Again, let me make an observation: I know Mitch loves Springsteen's music. Actually, "love" seems like a silly tepid word in this case. It doesn't cover it at all. But what I notice in Mitch's Springsteen posts is that while yes, he talks about the music, what he does more, though, is talk about himself. His memories, his past, his assocations ... And, in my opinion, that is the mark of a great artist. His art is somehow greater than himself. I remember coming out of seeing Death of a Salesman on Broadway with Brian Dennehy. My date had never seen the play, although he had read it. And as we walked to the subway after, did we talk about - the production values, the cast, the wonderful lighting, the great acting? No. My date started telling me, randomly, about how he felt like he could never communicate with his dad ... not in any real way. And how he had a lot of guilt about that. It just struck me, that night: wow. That's the power of that play. That's why it's a classic. Why different cultures respond to it. Because when we leave the play - we are thrown back on OURselves, we must reflect upon our own lives, our own connections with others ... We left the play and didn't talk about IT, we talked about US.

Beautiful.

Anyone remember when Springsteen appeared on the last Letterman Show on NBC? For some reason, it is emblazoned in my brain - and recently, I was validated in my opinion about this - when the Springsteen performance on that show (in 1993) was part of Vh1's "Best Music Moments on television" special. It was this really emotional night ... and then out comes Springsteen ... and he performed Glory Days and I am telling you: I still feel the hairs on my arms rise up when I remember it. I have rarely seen anything so ... exciting ... that's really the only word I can think of. Once I saw the Vh1 special, I learned a little bit more about the backstory of that historic appearance. Letterman is a huge Springsteen fan, and had been trying to get Springsteen to come on the show for years. Springsteen doesn't "do" the talk-show rounds. He turned Letterman down repeatedly - for years. Finally, though - since this was Letterman's signing off night ... I have no idea what decision process Springsteen went through to say "yes", but he did say Yes. Not only did he say Yes, but ... the dude is such a showman, and also- I believe he just has an innate sense of "what is needed" (in terms of performance) - he turned that performance into something that people are still talking about. On Vh1, they interviewed all these music people - random people - like Beyonce, and music journalists, and Melissa Etheridge and Russell Simmons, yadda yadda, and each one of them was like: "Do you remember that?? Do you remember when Bruce jumped up on Paul's piano? I'll never forget it." I guess you would have had to have seen it to get why it was one of the most thrilling live things I've ever seen. Bruce did not "clear" his jumping-up-on-piano move with Paul Schaeffer. But Paul, interviewed for the show, said that during the rehearsal, Bruce came over to Paul's keyboard set-up, and took hold of it, and kind of jiggled it. Asked Paul: "This is sturdy, right?" Paul said, "Yeah", and inside he knew: Oh boy, somethin's comin ....

Dudes, I just can't explain the moment when he leapt up there. You know how you see someone performing - and it's good, and it's a song you know and love, and it's awesome, and everyone's rocking - but then sometimes, very rarely, the performer just ... kicks it up a notch ... and it's suddenly like you are in another universe: your heart leaps out of your chest, your breath gets shallow - and you feel like the performance is suddenly inside of you, working through you ... rather than something you are just watching.

That's what happened (to me, and obviously to millions of others) when Springsteen jumped up on top of Paul's piano.

What was so beautiful about it, so unbelievably moving (I have the thing on tape, and I'm deeply moved every time I see it) is that it was all FOR Letterman. Most people go on that show and are pumping up their own careers, they're selling a new album, they're giving themselves publicity - ain't nothing wrong with that. That's one of the purposes of the show. But Springsteen didn't care about any of that. He wasn't there for himself. He was there to celebrate Letterman, and to finally say "YES" to Letterman's long-standing request.

Springsteen was not gonna go on that show and do just a regular set. He took it to another level. Just for Letterman.

I'm all verklempt right now just remembering.

Happy birthday, Bruce.

Pass it on

Ten albums I would recommend you add to your collection (No compilations or 'best of' collections permitted): - this is just off the top of my head. If I did the list tomorrow, it would probably be different:

1. Metallica - the black album
2. Patty Griffin - Living with Ghosts
3. Foo Fighters - The Color and the Shape
4. Rufus Wainwright - Rufus Wainwright (his first one)
5. Robbie Williams - the ego has landed
6. Fleetwood Mac - Rumors
7. Tracy Bonham - The Burdens of Being Upright
8. Cliff Eberhardt - The Long Road
9. Nirvana - MTV Unplugged
10. Any Clancy Brothers album you can get your hands on - although I recommend you starting with their recording at Carnegie Hall.

I got this from Dan - whose list is awesome, mainly because it includes Sleater-Kinney!!

1985 music

I got this from Michele. Wanna play along? (Mere - I won't call it a "meme". Mkay?)

A.) Go to musicoutfitters.com
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember (or don't care about).

1. Careless Whisper, Wham!
2. Like A Virgin, Madonna
3. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham!
4. I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner
5. I Feel For You, Chaka Khan
6. Out Of Touch, Daryl Hall and John Oates
7. Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears
8. Money For Nothing, Dire Straits
9. Crazy For You, Madonna
10. Take On Me, A-Ha
11. Everytime You Go Away, Paul Young
12. Easy Lover, Phil Collins and Philip Bailey
13. Can't Fight This Feeling, REO Speedwagon
14. We Built This City, Starship
15. The Power Of Love, Huey Lewis and The News
16. Don't You (Forget About Me), Simple Minds
17. Cherish, Kool and The Gang
18. St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion), John Parr
19. The Heat Is On, Glenn Frey
20. We Are The World, U.S.A. For Africa
21. Shout, Tears For Fears
22. Part-Time Lover, Stevie Wonder
23. Saving All My Love For You, Whitney Houston
24. Heaven, Bryan Adams
25. Everything She Wants, Wham!
26. Cool It Now, New Edition
27. Miami Vice Theme, Jan Hammer
28. Lover Boy, Billy Ocean
29. Lover Girl, Teena Marie
30. You Belong To The City, Glenn Frey
31. Oh Sheila, Ready For The World
32. Rhythm Of The Night, Debarge
33. One More Night, Phil Collins
34. Sea Of Love, Honeydrippers
35. A View To A Kill, Duran Duran
36. The Wild Boys, Duran Duran
37. You're The Inspiration, Chicago
38. Neutron Dance, Pointer Sisters
39. We Belong, Pat Benatar
40. Nightshift, Commodores
41. Things Can Only Get Better, Howard Jones
42. All I Need, Jack Wagner
43. Freeway Of Love, Aretha Franklin
44. Never Surrender, Corey Hart
45. Sussudio, Phil Collins
46. Strut, Sheena Easton
47. You Give Good Love, Whitney Houston
48. The Search Is Over, Survivor
49. Missing You, Diana Ross
50. Separate Lives, Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
51. Raspberry Beret, Prince and The Revolution
52. Suddenly, Billy Ocean
53. The Boys Of Summer, Don Henley
54. One Night In Bangkok, Murray Head
55. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free, Sting
56. Obsession, Animotion
57. We Don't Need Another Hero, Tina Turner
58. Material Girl, Madonna
59. Better Be Good To Me, Tina Turner
60. Head Over Heels, Tears For Fears
61. Axel F, Harold Faltermeyer
62. Smooth Operator, Sade
63. In My House, Mary Jane Girls
64. Don't Lose My Number, Phil Collins
65. All Through The Night, Cyndi Lauper
66. Run To You, Bryan Adams
67. Glory Days, Bruce Springsteen
68. Voices Carry, 'Til Tuesday
69. Misled, Kool and The Gang
70. Would I Lie To You?, Eurythmics
71. Be Near Me, ABC
72. No More Lonely Nights, Paul McCartney
73. I Can't Hold Back, Survivor
74. Summer Of '69, Bryan Adams
75. Walking On Sunshine, Katrina and The Waves
76. Freedom, Wham!
77. Too Late For Goodbyes, Julian Lennon
78. Valotte, Julian Lennon
79. Some Like It Hot, Power Station
80. Solid, Ashford and Simpson
81. Angel, Madonna
82. I'm On Fire, Bruce Springsteen
83. Method Of Modern Love, Daryl Hall and John Oates
84. Lay Your Hands On Me, Thompson Twins
85. Who's Holding Donna Now, Debarge
86. Lonely Ol' Night, John Cougar Mellencamp
87. What About Love, Heart
88. California Girls, David Lee Roth
89. Fresh, Kool and The Gang
90. Do What You Do, Jermaine Jackson
91. Jungle Of Love, The Time
92. Born In The USA, Bruce Springsteen
93. Private Dancer, Tina Turner
94. Who's Zoomin' Who, Aretha Franklin
95. Fortress Around Your Heart, Sting
96. Penny Lover, Lionel Richie
97. All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Don Henley
98. Dress You Up, Madonna
99. Sentimental Street, Night Ranger
100. Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton

Comments:

Wow. I guess I didn't really like Bryan Adams. I thought I did ... but I guess I don't.

So many of these songs I had forgotten ... but God, they all came rushing back to me. I had forgotten how much I loved that song "No more lonely nights... never be ano-other ... No more lone-leee nights ..."

Also: you literally could not get away from Tears for Fears that year. And The Thompson Twins. They were ubiquitous. I loved them both.

In retrospect, I hated "We are the world", although I thought I was into it at the time. I was way more into the British version - "Do they know it's Christmas?" It's so American to make the song about US and how it's all about US, and how great WE are. Yuk. Come on now. At least pretend to be humble, people. Bob Geldof's song was actually about Africa. Also, in general - just a much better song.

I loved Hall & Oates but I don't recognize their songs on this list, which is weird. I wonder if my Hall & Oates phase was already fading out ... it had peaked with "Private Eyes" and after that I didn't pay attention?

I also had been a huge Police fan. HUGE. But Sting's solo stuff left me kinda cold. It still does, I guess. He's too pleased with himself for putting words like "Goethe" in a pop song ... hahaha Or, I don't know. I just loved the Police. Their energy, their songs, just their very sound.

Bruce Springsteen. He was also everywhere that year. "I'm on Fire". Amazing. What an exciting time.

We were all so into Til Tuesday. That song "Voices Carry' still has the power to transport me back to high school. "Hu-ush hush ... keep it down now ... voices carry ..." The otherworldly sound of her voice ...

And it was a toss-up for my favorite song. I considered any number of the Tears for Fears songs - I was so into them ... but then figured I had to go with "Don't You Forget About Me". That movie had such a huge impact on me in high school - and still - today - 20 years later - if I hear those first chords from that song, I get a little chill of memory. Memories vivid and alive.

Go, Hetfield!!

Beth has a great post up right now about one of my favorite rock star bad-asses of all time: James Hetfield of Metallica. I ate up every word of her post.

I kind of never "get over" Metallica, and I've been listening to them for years. Beth says that Nine Inch Nails is her other "favorite" - and for me, it would be Nirvana. If we have to call favorites. Like: no matter how many times I hear "Rape Me" by Nirvana, i still feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise up. I never "get over" it. Metallica is the same way. I also love how Beth brings up the great GREAT double album they did called S & M - which is a live concert recording they did with the San Francisco Symphony. It is truly an inspirational and exciting album. Metallica with a full orchestra jamming out? Classical musicians jamming out with JAMES HETFIELD? I love love love that.

Here are Beth's eloquent words on Hetfield himself, but I highly recommend you go read her whole post:

He has a distinctive style, biting off the ends of his words so viciously as to add syllables - "But the devil-uh take that woman-ah, yeah, for you know she tricked-uh me easy-ahh..." And his voice is a blue-steel baritone, smooth and cold and purposeful. No hoarseness and an even, highly masculine tone. His speaking voice, too, is that of a man's man - a growl slightly tinged with Southern accent and the same pitch as his singing voice, not too low or too high.

That vocal consistency hints at what truly makes James Hetfield transcendent - unlike so many rock stars, his persona onstage is not much of stretch from his personality off it. This is in contrast to a surprising number of his fellow frontmen - Marilyn Manson sounds like a dysfunctional librarian when not performing; Trent Reznor is a bashful, softspoken loner (in stark contrast to the shrieking nutcase he becomes onstage); even Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons seem more like corporate marketers or used car salesmen when out of stage drag.

James Hetfield, meanwhile, is every bit as intimidating in all the interview or behind-the-scenes footage I've seen as he seems behind his signature flying-V guitar and the microphone. It's one thing to look like a demon next to blaring amplifiers and surrounded by blazing heavy-metal pyrotechnics; it's quite another to look in the most casual Mtv segment like someone you don't want to cross, ever.

Let us just pause a moment and revel in the perfection of this phrase: "Marilyn Manson sounds like a dysfunctional librarian when not performing"

hahaha

Anyone out there see Some Kind of Monster? FASCINATING movie. I blithered about it here and here. What really struck me was Hetfield's emotionalism - his fear of the band breaking up - which was really just a fear of rejection, of being abandoned - how really he was like a little kid, being afraid that he wouldn't get picked for kickball. And if you think that's a condescending remark, then you obviously do not remember school recesses - when everything was SO important, and being picked for teams was a moment of stark emotionalism, when your entire social status - whether or not you are LIKED and ACCEPTED - was revealed to all. Hetfield had that kind of childlike emotion underneath his bad-ass self. (Think about the persona of Enter Sandman, one of their biggest hits. A small child afraid of the dark, praying "If I should die before I wake ..." All alone. And yet ... it's feckin' James HETFIELD singing - a scary-lookin' Alan Embree-esque - yet hotter - dude. That's his dichotomy - that's the demon he deals with.)

I think his intimidating stance is not a pose. Or a "look at me, I'm a badass." To me, it seems to come from an inability to lie. He is unable to not show his emotions. If he's bored in an interview, he shows it. If he is annoyed by a question, he shows it. He does not suffer fools gladly. Don't waste his time.

Thanks Beth, for a great post about one of my favorite rock stars ever!

[Uhm ... is mine the only blog in town that can go from James Joyce to James Hetfield in a nano-second? Should I care? Or should I repeat to myself like a mantra:"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds "?]

I understand

Eminem has announced he will be taking his last bow as a performer this fall. Sigh. I knew this was coming. (Interesting thing: the opening skit on the Eminem Show is called "Curtain Up" and the final song on Encore is "Curtains Down". It's like he knew ... it's like he had the architecture of the entire project in his mind before he had even completed it. He's very canny, very very smart that way.)

Dear Eminem: I understand your reasoning, and I get it. I've felt this coming for a long time, based on small remarks you've made here and there, about how you were eager to get out of performing and focus completely on producing.

You'll be good at it. You already are.

So. It's not a shock. And I also think this is the right choice, and a smart smart move. You have always been one step ahead of your own career, one step ahead of your audience, and you kind of haven't made a false move in that respect. Your career trajectory never fails to take my breath away. (Well, pistol-whipping that guy was not so smart, but in terms of your career management - you're a genius.)

I can't imagine you not being "on the scene". You have made such a mark. The last 4 years have been all about: What the hell will he do next?? Every album topping the last ... I listened to Eminem Show so much I needed to buy multiple copies. It's still on almost permanent rotation in the CD collection.

So, to quote you: it'll feel so empty ... without you ...

Dude. Come on. I love you. I just love you. I love your humor, your anger, your rhymes ... I love "Lose Yourself" most of all. It always rises me up out of myself. It's one of the most exciting songs I've ever heard. Gives me goose bumps. I loved 8 Mile. Dude, you can act, you know that?

I love your complexity, the fact that you're willing to grow and admit you were wrong, but I also love your stubbornness - I've loved watching the whole Eminem journey, even when you piss me OFF. You are one of those few artists who force people to deal with the realities of "Freedom of Speech". You generate tormented op-ed columns. People talk about you, and moan and whine about how you are the sign of the apocalypse. Like Madonna did in the 80s. People don't want to let you say certain things. You threaten them. But you keep going. I love how you refuse to repeat yourself. You seem to understand that your act has always trembled on the edge of parody. The only way to combat that is to NEVER imitate oneself. Be original. Work hard. Use a Thesaurus for the rhymes. Work your ass off. Improve your vocabulary. Rhyme faster and better than ANYONE ELSE out there. And you do all of that. You're like an athlete, trying to topple your own personal best. I love your generosity towards other performers, appearing on their albums to give them a boost. I love even your big fiery messes. You turn them into art. You're fearless. I love your videos. Michael Jackson moon-walking with his hair on fire as little boys jump on the bed in the background? So SICK and so AMUSING. You and Dr. Dre in SUPERHERO COSTUMES racing around in a Bat mobile? I just have gotten such an enduring kick out of you over the last couple years ... and ... I guess it'll just take some time. No more Eminem albums to look forward to?? No more shiveringly excited responses to 'release dates' being announced? My life will be a bit poorer for it.

Not even to mention the fact that you're kind of a babe. In a bratty ADHD way. The photo below is my favorite one of you. Ever. Ouch.

I get why you feel the need to retire. I love that you've chosen to do so in Dublin. I understand. And like I said before: you are no dummy. You know it's better to leap out when you're at the top. Who else has the courage to do that? Who?? Very few artists know the right time to bow out. I know you're still a young man, and you'll probably do guest spots on other people's albums, and maybe you'll reinvent yourself yet again. Who knows. But you've been saying for about a year now: "This is it for me. I want to stay home with my daughter, and I want to produce. I want to spend all day in the studio, and help other guys do their thing." You obviously meant what you said.

But I'm sad. I really am. How I wish I had had the chance to see you perform live.

Eminem. Curtains Down.

"The Second Coming" of Bob Geldof

Always loved Bob Geldof and the Boomtown Rats. We loved them in high school. His stuff, in a way, was a precursor to what took over the world in 1991 with the release of Nirvana's "Nevermind". Or with early Pearl Jam stuff, like "Jeremy". Regular radio stations didn't know what to do with them, really, but the college radio stations (which we listened to obsessively) played their songs all the time. But because this was the mid 1980s, when the airwaves were clogged with Air Supply, Lionel Richie, and Loverboy ... there wasn't really a place for him. It didn't matter. He got our attention anyway. We also were big big big into "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AT AAAALLLLL." - the song, sure, but also who Bob Geldof was. He was a hero to us. That he could make such a thing happen. Basically, he just ASKED, and all these mega-stars cleared their schedules and showed up to record that song. How many people have ideas like that, but don't ask ... assuming that everyone will say No? Bob Geldof seems to not experience the word "No" in the way many of us do. It is not an ending. "No" does not mean "No" to Bob Geldof, there's no finality in it. It's just a reason for him to find another way in, to work harder to get people to say "Yes". I really admire him for that. Anyway, I've always thought he was a cool guy, with his head on straight ... who made the kind of music that disenchanted excitable teenage kids adore. I love people like that.

He's been much in the news lately, obviously ... I think it's awesome what he's trying to do.

BUT the point of this post is that Bob Geldof recently did a reading of Yeats poems, with Sinead Cusack and Rupert Graves at the British Library. Damn!! What a night! Wish I could have seen it!!

One question: the Yeats readings are part of a poetry series, created by a woman named "Josephine Cox" in the article. Later in the article, Ms. Cox is identified as the author of Damage - a book that absolutely ROCKED MY WORLD when I first read it. (I wonder if it would hold up now?) Anyway, as far as I knew, her name was Josephine Hart. Is this a mistake? Did she get married? But if she did get married, why would she give up the name that made her famous?

Inquiring minds want to know ...

But anyway: Go, Bob Geldof!!!

I've been tagged

... by Capitalist Lion. So here goes.

Total size of music files on my computer

Uhm. Zero. I'm embarrassed. I still live in a world of CDs and cassette tapes.

The last CD I bought was

Stevie Wonder's Inner Visions. Talk about your perfect album. I think I only own a cassette tape of it - I taped it from my friend Mitchell - a huge Stevie fan ... so finally, I saw it this past week, and thought: damn, MUST. HAVE. INNER. VISIONS. Every song on it a gem. Every single song. One of my favorite albums ever made.

Song playing right now in iTunes

iTunes? Uhm ... I'm a loser. I play CDs. That's it.

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me

"Fields of Joy", by Lenny Kravitz. That song to me is like a happy pill. Works every time, no matter if it's the 1000th time I have heard it. It starts quiet, sweet, idyllic ... "Slowly slowly through the fields ... You touch my hand, I touch the sky ... just you and I ..." and then - Lenny gets LOUD. The guitar, his screaming ... I am telling you. From the first time I heard that song (and I heard it really late ... I didn't get the album when it first came out) I was hooked. I heard it for the first time at a particular small dinner party in 2000 ... and couldn't believe my ears. I felt like it was the best song I had ever heard. I still can't get over it. I listen to it all the time.

"Monkey Wrench" by the Foo Fighters. Uhm ... sheer cataclysmic joy in that song. Such a great song. There was a good year in my life when it was on constant replay.

"Oh, Darling" by the Beatles. Man, I love that song. It's one of my karaoke favorites as well. I just LOVE it when Paul screams.

"Lose Yourself", by Eminem. There may be a more exciting song out there ... but if there is, I don't know what the hell it might be.

"Fuck and Run", by Liz Phair. First of all, that ALBUM. Her first album. She comes out with a DOUBLE ALBUM as her FIRST album??? I love that! I also love that she calls it "Exile in Guyville". It's such a raw great album - never to be surpassed in her career since, in my opinion. And I love "Fuck and Run". It's so honest, so raw ... every time I hear it, I am in awe of her.

Oh, and I won't tag anyone. If you feel like doing it yourself, feel free!! And if you feel like sharing your answers in the comments - please do. I'd love to hear.

Letter from a fan: Part 1

Dear Tori Amos:

Your album Little Earthquakes is great. No, it's not just great. It's beyond great. I bought it the summer it came out - and I bought the cassette - and promptly listened to it so much over the next year, that it eventually wore out, and I had to buy the same tape a couple more times, to replace the first one. That album never ended for me. I KEPT needing to hear it. Similar situation to Color and the Shape by Foo Fighters later on in the decade. Just want to give you some background, Tori, on my response to that album. I saw you play at Park West in Chicago, before Little Earthquakes came out. I hadn't even heard the album, but Interview mag had done a little promo about you that made you sound interesting. So off I went, by myself, and you gave one of the most incredible live shows - you and your grand piano - that I have ever seen.

Enough.

Here's the deal. The power of little Earthquakes is enough for me to keep buying your stuff. Okay? I bought Under the Pink. Your lyrics got more obscure and personal - like, I was unable to get in there with you in whatever obscure experience you were having - and your accent began to morph into something unbearably unintelligible. I mean, how on earth do you make the words "club sandwich" sound like ancient Celtic Solstice chants? I don't know, but you do. There was some good stuff on Under the Pink. Not Little Earthquakes, certainly, but that's okay. How could anything ever compare to THAT album?

On the power of that one album, released in 1992, Tori - I have bought every one of your lame-ass weirdo records. The only one I even mildly enjoyed was the Choirgirl Hotel. Now this may just be my taste in music. I like loud, aggressive, exciting stuff. You can do it, Little Earthquakes has a lot of that on there. But a lot of girls like your songs because some of them are drippy-introspective-emotional-constantly-PMSing-and-communing-with-the-moon girl. They listen to those songs and know that Tori understands, Tori understands the goddess in them, Tori "gets it". I don't care about those songs, and always skip over them. I don't need you to understand my inner goddess. I need you to rock the house. I like the loud Tori, I like the angry Tori (In Waitress, when you suddenly start screaming: "And I believe in peace - bitch ..." AWESOME). Little Earthquakes was full of that stuff ... but maybe your hardcore fans, the whiny wymyn's festival contingent, prefer the melancholy mopey stuff? Or ... I don't know. I can't guess. But Choirgirl Hotel with some of its rockin' churning beats ... was closer to my type of music, closer to the loud sudden mood-change stuff that you did on Little Earthquakes.

But since then?

YAWN.

I just bought Beekeeper. I was filled with hope. I ALWAYS approach your stuff with hope ... which just goes to show you the lasting impact of that first album. I will follow you anywhere, Tori. I may not like it, but I will follow you.

I have to tell you that I am losing my patience, though. I don't like one song on Beekeeper. It's all your moany obscure wymyn-in-the-forest shite, there's none of that rage and sex and startlingly weird lyrics (Buddha doing crossword with a pen?? GREAT SONG, girl!!) ... and I'm pretty close to giving up on you.

But I'll tell ya: you've put out a lot of albums since that first one. And I'm still here, despite the fact that you haven't satisfied me ONCE since then.

I mean, whatever, create, express yourself, moan like a Druid and write opaque lyrics and sing in some hybrid accent. This is where you're at now.

Just want to tell you that I miss you. I'm bummed out. I'll never listen to Beekeeper again. It feckin' sucks. Yawn. Do you have PMS every day, or ...

Waiting for the next one now. Battered, beaten, disappointed ... but still hopeful.

Music that makes me specifically nostalgic

Thompson Twins. "If I were king for just one day ..." It reminds me of that surging feeling of HOPE I used to get, on occasion, in high school. I was a creature of deep yearnings, and stifled ambition. I knew what I wanted but I was afraid to go for it. I loved boys with an intensity that burned up my heart, and at that time they never loved me back. I loved hard, got hurt hard ... and still held up this strange strong hope that someday I would meet "him", whoever he was. Thompson Twins, and that song in particular, make me think of that of that feeling.

Billy Idol. I hear his stuff and all I can see is my group of friends going absolutely MAD on some high school dance floor.

John Denver. Summer days when I was a little kid. Windows open, screen door slamming, lips stained from Kool Aid, sand between my toes, sitting on the hot metal of the bulkhead having popsicles. To me, that's what John Denver's music calls to mind.

Lover Boy. "You wanna piecea my he-eart ..." To me, that song IS roller-skating at Ocean Skate every Friday night in high school. We would get dropped off, we would be wearing cute little tops and jeans, we would have on fruit-flavored lip gloss ... and we would have all of these teen-romance adventures, completely defined by the roller rink. That Lover Boy song was THE song to skate to (with "You Should Hear How He Talks About You" a close second).

Jackson Browne. "Hold On, Hold Out". That song in particular. I was 17 years old, it was autumn. My life was exploding on all fronts: I was having an acting triumph that changed my life, and I had fallen in love with someone so hard that it felt like I was staring directly at the sun, but in the meantime I was also being pursued for the first time in my life by a guy - by a DIFFERENT guy ... 2 guys? And both of them were in their early 20s, too. I had it GOIN' ON, even though I was a blushing freckled girl who had never been so much as kissed. But because I'm me, falling in love is always a painful experience; I would never characterize love as pleasant. And that Jackson Browne song arrived at the perfect time in my life ... when I SO needed to hear its message. I listened to it constantly. When I hear it now, I immediately see before my eyes: the face of the guy I was madly in love with, the coldness of the autumn air, the explosion of stars in the sky - he and I stood on my front lawn staring up at them, after seeing 2010 - I couldn't stand it I loved him so much, and there was always that painful feeling of hope and loss that accompanied love in high school. Time slipping away ... you cannot capture the moment ... the moment cannot last ... just eat it up while it is happening ... because every second means the sands are slipping away ...

ELO. Please. Let's not even TALK about ELO. I listened to their Time album for the first time over at Mere's house, and could not believe what I was hearing. I had grown up listening to musicals, John Denver, Ian & Sylvia (the real-life Mitch and Mickey), and Joan Baez. This?? I had never heard anything like it. I can still remember exactly what the cover looked like, the blueness of it, the sci-fi magic of it. I listened to it over and over and over. When I think of ELO, I think of Mere and I, and her living room, with the piano bench, and the couches, and hanging out at her house endlessly.

Devo. On all fronts, Devo was a life-changer. Guys in my high school suddenly felt proud of being geeks, of wearing glasses, and of being in the AV Club. Devo made geek-boys cool and subversive. Devo is another band where - when I hear one of their songs - especially "Whip It" - what I immediately see is the gyrating orgasmic thrashing crowd at my high school dance. The cavernous gym, the DJ under one of the empty basektball hoops, the lights turned down low, high school romance-dramas going on in the bleechers, and people LOSING it on the dance floor. Sometimes the dance floor would empty out, because a song didn't have a good beat. But when Devo played? People flocked in from every which way to pack it in on the dance floor. Devo IS high school to me.

Cliff Eberhardt. I actually was unable to listen to Cliff Eberhardt for many years because of the powerful associations. Cliff Eberhard for me IS Tonio, my first boyfriend. Tonio and I were going to see Christine Lavin in Philadelphia, and Cliff Eberhardt opened for her. We had never heard of him. He blew us away. "My Father's Shoes". It kills me. He and I loved Eberhardt so much that we played him CONSTANTLY. Once the relationship crashed and burned, I found I could no longer listen to Eberhardt. Years passed, though ... and finally I am able to be a fan again. But still. The associations remain, it's just that they no longer cause me pain. Cliff Eberhardt to me is: the black and white tile in our kitchen, the green trees crowding in around our porch, the taste of scotch and soda, the rainy nights when we would go to the little art cinema in Philly ... the cobblestoned streets of Mt. Airy ...

J. Geils. Freeze Frame is a time-travel capsule. It's another high school favorite. We would wait for it feverishly, every high school dance, repeatedly asking the beleaguered DJ to play it ... and when he did? We all would lose our minds. Beth and I would dance so hard that our faces would become beet red, and afterwards, we would run over to the side of the gym and press our sweaty flushed faces against the cool tile. Uhm ... girls? You wanna chill? You want boys to like you and notice you and think you're pretty? Then stop jamming your red Irish faces against the tile walls of the high school gym, mkay?

Huey Lewis. It's the song "Do You Believe in Love" that really sets the pinwheels of associations going. It's such a free song, such a happy open song. When I hear it I think of summer vacations during high school: EARLY in the vacation, say ... the month of June. When there's so much free time spread out in front of you ... and everything seems possible. You go to the beach with your friends. You sit around watching soap operas, vegging out, the day unfurling before you with nothing on the books ... You go to movies with your friends, and you don't have to get up early the next day ...Definitely not the August part of vacation, which is stressful because school approaches, and you're supposed to have read Moby Dick, Tale of Two Cities and Red Badge of Courage by September and you haven't even STARTED. No, "Do You Believe in Love" reminds me of the June month during summer vacations in high school.

Stevie Ray Vaughan. Especially his song with his brother: "Tick Tock People" of all things. A very specific memory is attached to that one song, and although I don't hear the song often - when I do, here is what I see/smell/taste: Southport Lanes (a really cool bar/bowling alley in Chicago), I was wearing a black derby, he and I ate hot chicken wings, and occasionally attacked each other. It was our third date, I think. Nothing had happened yet. We were insane for each other. "Tick Tock People" came on and he told me the story of how he had been at Stevie Ray Vaughan's last concert, and unfortunately he had been with his anorexic girlfriend who made him go get her some food and while he was in the endless line the damn concert started. I don't think he ever forgave anorexia-girl for making him miss the first couple of songs "because she HADN'T EATEN ANYTHING ALL DAY" he shouted. It was a vivid night. Perhaps I remember it because it was the beginning of something that would last for years. A 2nd or 3rd date. Stevie Ray Vaughan always makes me think of him, and "Tick Tock People" makes me think of that crystal-clear night of flirtation, his mouth on my neck, laughter, and hot chicken wings.

XTC. It is "1,000 Umbrellas" that is attached to a very specific time and place. It was on a mix tape given to me the guy I had been in love with. I knew of the song, always loved XTC, but it was like I had heard it for the first time when it came up on my walkman, that sickly summer, when my heart was so fucking broken I couldn't even eat. "1000 Umbrellas" makes me see the echoey lobby of the office building in the Loop where I worked as a temp, the careening escalators filled with droid-like humans at rush hour, the Chicago Opera House across the sluggish green opaque river, sitting on the L train in the morning, listening to 1,000 Umbrellas over and over and over and over ... It fed something in me that was starving. Not just because it had been on a mix he had given me. It was something else. I was starving and heartsick. I stood in the muffled heat of the day, staring across at the Opera House, wondering when I would ever feel normal again. I could only listen to 1,000 Umbrellas, I couldn't get past it. "Just when I thought that my vista was golden in hue, One thousand umbrellas opened to spoil the view ..." But the music itself wasn't wallowy dark PMS-drippy music. It was weird, complex, with violins, and orchestral oddness ... I remember walking around and around outside that office building, in the heat wave, unable to eat, squinting at the sun off the concrete, listening to the song repeatedly. "Now I'm crawling the wallpaper that's looking more like a roadmap to misery ..." I listen to that song now and I remember how unbelievably hot it was that summer, and how there was no escape. From the heat, but also from my heartsick-ness. No way out but through. I emerged forever changed.

Cher. We would blast "Dark Lady" at our college parties (down in the beach house at Sand Hill Cove) and Mitchell would take over the entire scene. So when I hear that song: I see Mitchell, surrounded by his group of friends - all of us laughing so hard that occasionally we have to leave the party to go take a walk and calm down. The smell of the salt air, the sound of the surf at the end of the street, the boozy college party of drama geeks ... and stomach-aching howls of laughter. "Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one ..." It was the mid-80s, but it didn't matter to us. "Dark Lady" might as well have been a Top 40 hit at that point, as far as we were concerned. We would watch Mitchell transform, and then promptly - the second he "became" Cher - we would all start to stagger about, slapping each other, wiping tears away, falling on the ground ... We never ever got tired of it. Then we would take a walk in the briny breeze, gasping for breath, trying to recover from the hilarity.

Hair Too many associations to list. That album has always existed, I grew up alongside of it, it's always been a part of my life. "Frank Mills" always always always makes me think of my friend Betsy, who loved that song, and who sang it for one of our projects in drama class in high school. I have the album, and I know what that woman's voice sounds like ... but whenever I listen to it, I hear Betsy's sweet soprano. Beautiful. And "Aquarius" never ever EVER fails to make me think of Pat =, and my friends who were all "Pat heads". Kenny, Phil, Ann, Mitchell, Alex ... sometimes Pat would BLAST "Aquarius" at the end of his shows, and on one evening in particular - I do not know what happened, but Kenny, Phil, Ann, me, and Mitchell lost our minds. We WENT somewhere. We danced like maniacs, but it was more than that. We transcended. You know when you lose self-consciousness? When you flat out don't care? We all achieved that energy together - with no drugs - at the same moment. It was a spontaneous group event. There was even spontaneous choreography that we generated - it was like we all became ONE BEING during that song. Goofy? Definitely. Fun? More fun than one person should be allowed in a 3 minute time span. When the song ended, we felt like we had to come back to earth, and it was very difficult. Kenny exclaimed, "I have to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY." And I remember Phil saying, with complete seriousness, "I honestly feel like I was just performing in the original production of Hair." hahahaha You'd have to know what Phil looked like, to fully appreciate the humor of this. Big goofy handsome cleancut straight boy. All of this rushes through my mind when I hear that whole "LEEEEET THE SUN SHINE ..." magnificence.

More:.

Tori Amos The "Little Earthquakes" album. That is, without a doubt, the summer of 1992. My first summer in Chicago. I had my own apartment on Melrose. Right by the lake. There was a sickly sweet odor of roach-motels throughout the hallways, and a crazy old-fashioned metal elevator, with grate-like metal doors you had to wrench open and closed. I ran every day along the lake, I ran miles and miles a day. And listened to "Little Earthquakes" as I ran, along the sweep of Lake Michigan, looking at the skyline - the Sears Tower, the Drake Hotel ... and Tori's unbelievable music pushed me on. More than anything else, that album was the music of my freedom. I've rarely felt so free as I felt that summer. Also, randomly: I was very much into eating Cracklin' Oat Bran that summer. I had a bowl every morning. So now whenever I hear the first strains of the first song on "Little Earthquakes", I remember the taste of Cracklin' Oat Bran. Weird, how memory works. It's always summer when I listen to that album. And it's always sunset.

I listened to "Little Earthquakes" one too many times. I can't imagine a time when I would ever choose that album to listen to now ... it had served its purpose. Like a fever burning out.

This Strange Effect: A Kink-Sized Obsession - Track 2 (Liam)

This Strange Effect: A Kink-Sized Obsession - Track 2 (Liam)

- and I like it - This Strange Effect, that is. Thanks to all for the comments, which have really excited me because now I can bounce off those ideas instead of trying to figure out what ridiculous level of minutiae to concentrate on next.

So, randomly - "Father Christmas"! Ah, the Christmas song. And its poor, poor, poor bastard son the rock Christmas song. There are really not very many good rock Christmas songs (that is of course if you leave out the entire Ventures Christmas Album - which has the advantage of having no dopey lyrics AND arrangements based on the top hits of '65 - but that is an entirely other matter). "Jingle Bell Rock" is idiotic - but has those great guitar licks, so it gets a pass. Jeez, I cannot really think of anything in the category that is even decent! Excepting our boys - "Father Christmas" - the perfect mix of old style rocking Kinks with a kick in the ass from punk rock. The lyrics are hilarious and touching. There is the great break, again with the descending chords- "and give my daddy a job cause he needs one" - for some reason Ray never sounds sappy. No Christmas song would be complete without the obligatory sleigh bells, used to nice effect in the accappella breakdown. But of course my favorite part is Dave's wailing leads, that pealing riff as Ray pounds out the power chords like its '66. My favorite rock Christmas song, no doubt. I will go on the record as the best rock Christmas song - for what its worth. In the early nineties I was working at a magazine in Boston, we had our office Christmas party. Afterwards, we convinced a good portion of the staff and their "significant others" to go to a dive down the street called 'Peking Tom's that was well known for its high octane Scorpion bowls. After a few of those, everyone was in the Christmas spirit, and I bumbled over to the jukebox. Well you guessed it. Yes, 5 dollars worth of quarters on #131 - "Father Christmas" by the Kinks. They unplugged the juke box eventually. It was fun while it lasted!

And let's see - the Rhino compilation - an excellent Greatest Hits package and certainly one of the best ways to start your own obsession. The discography situation is in much, much better shape now. There are reissues, packed with bonus tracks of mono or stereo versions, demos, alternate takes, etc. My cd of "Village Green" that has the complete mono and complete stereo versions. If you like "Sunny Afternoon," "Well Respected Man" and "Dead End Street"-era Kinks, you have to get the reissues of "Face to Face" and "Something Else" - they are outstanding. For all of your discography needs, go to The Kinks Web Site - I won't go into details, the site has everything a Kinks fan needs. Go. You will love the treasure trove of Kinks info and the wonderful circa-1995 web design. God bless the Kinks fans who maintain this.

"The Great Lost Kinks Album" really is going to have to wait for a more detailed look, but suffice to say that "Misty Water" is one of their best songs ever. Its got the descending bass line - and the stuttering power chords! Its got funny lyrics about a Maria and her daughters, who "believe in misty ways" and drink "misty water." My buddy Paul and I jammed last night and had a blast working this one out. As far as I know, this song has not been "officially" released - but it can be found. I remember buying an LP called "Dead End Street" in Boston in the late 80s - it was the usual odd compilation of greatest hits - but it had a 10 inch that had all these songs I had never heard of, "Misty Water" included. If you can find it, get it!

I brought the "Dead End Street" album to the counter and was rewarded with the Kinks' fan greeting! It is an unwritten, but generally well acknowledged and followed rule that if you work at a record store (of course I am not referring to "chains") - you are ipso facto a Kinks fan. Most likely an obsessive like me. So when you bring a Kinks album up to the counter, instead of just paying your money and going home to listen to your record, you have a 10 minute conversation. "Dude, have you heard this one?" "I love that one, do you have this?" "I wonder if they are going to tour again." "That last one kinda sucked, but there was that one good song!" "Yeah, that saved it." "So my band is playing on Saturday at Bunratty's, you should come." "Dude, I'm there! Do you know any bass players?" And you have a new friend. The Kinks fan knows that the Law of Attraction is no joke. We will find each other! Buy a Kinks record today!

Good Lord, lots of exclamations! What else from the comments - ah "Picture Book." Great, great, great number. What a riff! Ingenious! So good everyone rips it off. I think Green Day does the best rip-off/homage with "Warning" - which by the way is an excellent rock album with many Kinksy touches. But "Picture Book" - just the line "A picture of you, in your birthday suit"- kills me everytime. And the "fat old Uncle Charlie, out boozing with their friends." You don't hear those lines in the commercial. Like you didn't hear the "engines stop running" line from "London Calling" in that stupid Jaguar commercial. And you don't hear Gerry Roslie screaming about taking a bus or train in the Sonics' "Have Love, Will Travel" - in that incessant SUV commercial. But to the matter at hand, what the hell, it is great that so many people are hearing "Picture Book" and getting turned on to that era of the Kinks.

God Save 'Em.

This Strange Effect: A Kink-Sized Obession (Liam)

Sheila, you are the best - thanks for giving me the forum to get some ideas about the Kinks out of my head and out into the world! And so, here is the first entry of:

This Strange Effect: A Kink-Sized Obsession

Ray and Dave Davies, Pete Quaife, and Mick Avory, you've got this strange effect on me. There's too much on my mind to know where to begin really. What aspect of this nearly life-long obsession to begin with? Heck, I will start at the beginning and try to not get too sidetracked.

The first conversation I recall about the Kinks was at my grandparents' house sometime in the early 70s. My aunt Regina, my uncle Tom and his buddies were going to see the Kinks in concert that night. My brother Mike and I didn't know who the Kinks were - we were completely obsessed with the Beatles due to Tom's record collection. Tom insisted that we did know the Kinks and did a bit of air guitar singing 'You Really Got Me.' To my still present embarrassment, I did not recognize the song. Mike, however, did - from one of the ubiquitous 'British Invasion!' record set commercials that were running at the time -which of course consisted of all the one-hit-wonders and also-rans (no Beatles, Stones, or Who) - and "You Really Got Me" probably was the best number. So Regina and Tom got to see the Kinks live in their alcohol fueled, ramshackle 'Lola' days and I completely forgot about them as I went back to 'Revolver' and 'Abbey Road.'

Years later I have become a huge Queen fan. I am still into the Beatles, a little Stones, but I'm in Junior High and trying to get with the new music that the cool guys like. I like Zeppelin's first album and some of Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', but the guitars, melodies and harmonies of Queen really catch my attention. Exit cool guys. So here I am again at my grandparents house and I'm trying to tell Regina how great Queen is, and I play her a few tracks from 'A Night at the Opera.' She hates 'Death on Two Legs,' the opener, but does take a shine to 'Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon' - she says "This is good, it reminds me of the Kinks." In hindsight, of course it does, the title, the lyrics, the whole performance is a Kinks homage.

Well, now that I know that the Kinks could have possibly influenced my heroes Queen, I go to the record store to buy a Kinks album. Here's where the obsession proper begins, and it begins in appropriately odd Kinks fashion. As anyone who was introduced to them in the days of vinyl knows, the Kinks have possibly the most incomprehensible discography of any major band in history. They are most certainly outdone in the "shoddy compilations" category only by the Who. Finding their early, or even mid 60s, records was impossible. I think that 'Low Budget' was on the charts at this time, but I was interested in the 60s Kinks. So I got the compilation with the most songs, there were like 20: 'Golden Hour of the Kinks.' This was one of those crappy thin records that you could fold like an omelette - which is how they fit 20 songs on it.

The track listing, again in retrospect, is completely ridiculous - it is not chronological, there is no theme, three songs from the early days are sandwiched between much later more developed songs - it just makes no sense. But the songs - it truly is a Golden Hour! A great introduction to the Kinks that I played over and over again. "You Really Got Me", "All Day and All of the Night", and "Tired of Waiting" are all justifiably on this and five thousand other comps. But this one also had the magnificent "Where Have All the Good Times Gone" - later massacred by Van Halen in similar fashion to their You Really Got Me atrocity. And there was "Till the End of the Day"- one of the better "You Really Got Me" rip-offs with a fantastic guitar solo. But the songs that really got me were "Shangri-la", "Animal Farm", and "Autumn Almanac". These sent me over the edge into full blown Kinks mania. They are perfect songs - the playing, the writing, the sounds, all just perfect.

I played that album over and over. And over. I found that songs like "Victoria" and "Shangri-la" had everything I wanted from rock - great lyrics, harmonies, and most importantly, a rocking beat. "Victoria" is simply one of the greatest rock songs ever written, and the performance is absolutely outstanding. You can feel the excitement in the room - it just builds and builds. The mix of acoustic and electric guitar is genius. The guitar riffs twist in and out around the melody in the verse and crash and bash in chorus. By the time the band reaches the guitar solo, they are on fire - and then they slam it home with the "Canada to India" part with the power chords. Ray's voice sounds weird, in a different register than usual, but great. But the best part is definitely Dave yelling with excitement after solo and as they take it home: "Aah hah!" "Oh yeah!". What a song. Oh yeah, and the horn riffs in the middle break. Good lord. I went out and bought "Arthur" - which has "Victoria" and "Shangri-la," and the brilliant "Yes Sir, No Sir" (some of Dave's coolest riffs) "Brainwashed," "Driving," and the tearjerker "Young and Innocent Days". I pinched other records from Tom - the most essential being the 2 record set "Kink Kronikles," which is an awesome collection with a lot of b-sides and such that were impossible to find elsewhere.

And I started a band. Being a guitar player, I was very excited to learn that even with my limited abilities, I could bash out a decent version of "Where Have All the Good Times Gone" - whereas a convincing version of "And Your Bird Can Sing" or "She Said, She Said" was out of my league - and 20 years later, remains so.

And so: "This Strange Effect." This song I was just introduced to a couple of months ago, when I bought the fairly recent "Live at the BBC" compilation. A genius composition that Ray gave to some fella named Dave Barry, who had an international hit with it. Great moody minor chords and beautiful guitar lines from Dave. And the title is so appropriate for what the Davies brothers have done to me.

The la la las, the ba ba bas. The descending bass lines, used over and over in so many songs, but oh so nicely. The "You Really Got Me" chord stutter, used over and over and over in maybe even more songs, but to such great effect every time. The beautiful backing oohs and aahs from Ray's wife Rasa. Dave's solos - some manic, over the top, completely insane, others perfectly mapped out to the note. The lyrics, which remain so touching, humorous and surprising. The way the vocals of both Ray and Dave have this unbearable sadness to them sometimes, at other times such glee. And the rhythm section of Pete Quaife and Mick Avory that made sure the Kinks were still a rock and roll band. you know, with a damn rock beat. The Kinks. What a band.

The latest objects of my obsession are the BBC comp, a bootleg called "The Great Lost Kinks Album" (which is mostly the "Great Lost Dave Davies Solo Album as Backed by the Kinks), and the two insanely great mid sixties albums "Face to Face" and "Something Else." Of course 2 weeks cannot go by without a complete listen to "Village Green" - but that's another story. So that's how I got into the Kinks and can't get out. Obsessive details about aforementioned descending bass lines, guitar riffs, song similarities, lyrical subject matter and Dave's interest in UFOS to follow.

Thank you Sheila, I had to get that off my chest!

Focus on ... The Kinks

Okay, so my post on "the perfect album" led Anne to respond on her own blog, with a post about the Kinks ... which made me think of my cousin Liam, who is a Kinks FANATIC.

He and I have had quite a few discussions about the Kinks recently, and he had mentioned a couple of essays he wanted to write about them (he's an amazing writer) - and so I've invited him to come here and guest-blog about the Kinks whenever he feels the urge. I just feel that it is important to give Liam a platform to talk about the Kinks, at any time of the day or night. Liam's incredible, and I'm very excited to hear what he eventually will post.

I don't know WHEN his posts will appear and that's part of the fun. Randomly, he will show up and bombard us with his Kinks obsession. Can't wait.

In rambling praise of Dave Grohl

Now sadly, I am not as articulate about Dave Grohl as my siblings are. We all make up a passionate Dave Grohl fan club, but they can talk about the intricacies of this man's drumming in a way that amazes me, in a way I cannot do. Brendan was into Nirvana before anybody else (you know, he was into Bleach and Incesticide) - his story of hearing "Smells like teen spirit" blasting through an enormous Virgin Records store in Paris is one of my favorites of all of his tales.

I can't really put it into words like they can, but I've always had this weird overly emotional response to Dave Grohl, and when Jean, or Brendan or Siobhan start to talk about him ... I latch onto certain phrases, and think: "YES. That's what I sense in him. That's it perfectly!"

Love his face.

All I know is - I watch him thrashing about at the drums, and occasionally I get this weird lump in my throat. Why? Many reasons.

First of all, because I find him exciting. I find his drumming exciting. Also, because of his history with Nirvana. And also, because of HOW he drums. There's such HEART behind it. He's so POSITIVE. Like: if you listen to the Foo Fighters, that's one of the overwhelming impressions I get of the music: JOY. Joy in making music, sure, but also music that makes you want to get up and dance, and thrash about ... "The Color and the Shape" is the kind of record that you must play in the car, in the summer, with the windows cranked down, cups of ice coffee in the holders, your hair whipping in your eyes, as you drive to the beach for a long day in the sun and surf. The Foo Fighters are not "heavy", or "deep". You might expect Dave Grohl to be harder than that, more reserved because of all the chaos of Nirvana and Cobain's death. On the contrary. The Foo Fighters burst onto the scene with such exuberance, such exciting melodies ... good old LOUD rock and roll, with such a sense of teenage joy and release. At least that's what I get out of their music.

Dave Grohl said, about "Up in Arms" on Color and the Shape (and I paraphrase): "I wrote that song to be a teenage makeout song. I just love the image of two teenagers making out on the beach listening to that song."

No pretensions! No "oooh, I am deep and tormented" ... a flat-out expression of what music can be, and what, essentially, it is. Especially to teenagers.

Dave Grohl was in a different place in his life when he was in Nirvana. You know: stoner slacker hippie boy suddenly become enormous rock star. He doesn't speak of it much, but when he does - the main impression you get is of a whirlwind. White-hot light, insanity, frenzy, suddenly everything moving so fast ...

It was nuts. They didn't just hit it huge, they exploded. Never mind mania, mayhem, release, catharsis ... God, don't you all remember? It was CRAZY. I love this story:

Tori Amos, unknown at the time, but starting to play small clubs with her own brand of weird non-radio-friendly music (at the time) ... tells the story of being on tour. No band, nothing. Just Tori, her manager, and her grand piano. She had recorded Little Earthquakes but it hadn't come out yet. This is pre-Alanis, pre-Fiona Apple ... There wasn't really a place for Tori Amos in the scene yet. She knew that, but she had decided to go for it anyway. She had never fit in anywhere, her entire life. So anyway, she's on this po-dunk little tour, and she's in Iceland. Mkay? And she's listening to the radio, and suddenly - she hears the most extraordinary song. Nirvana didn't re-invent the wheel, there were a ton of bands starting up this new sound, going back to basics up in the Pacific Northwest ... but ... er. I know I'm biased. I know a lot of those bands - Soundgarden, Mudhoneys, Pearl Jam ... I like them all. But ... here's my bias: NONE of them wrote a song that sounds like "Smells like Teen Spirit". And I LOVE Soundgarden. They were a damn fine band. But something about "Smells like Teen Spirit" just LANDED in the populace, in the way that other songs, as good as they were, flat out did not. It's an interesting phenomenon, and again - I'm not sure I can explain why this is the case. It might be partly marketing, but I hesitate to put the entire chaos that erupted at the sound of that particular song onto genius marketing and a kick-ass video. It was the song ITSELF that landed. Anyway, Tori Amos said she was listening to the radio - and she heard "Smells like Teen Spirit" for the first time ... and she suddenly knew. She was far away from America, she was far away from "the biz" but she knew ... with the sound of that song ... that her time had come. It was the kind of song that swept away the 10 years of radio music that had come before. New rules popped up, old rules swept away ... it breathed a life and a freedom into the radio ... (for a time) ... and she knew that that new breath of life would open up a space for her as well. (Remember that she ended up recording a slow version of "Smells like teen spirit" ... her way of a tribute to the revelation she experienced in that moment.) Nirvana was THAT kind of band. There can only be ONE of that kind of band, at one moment in time. They made it seem possible for others.

Of course, Nirvana culminated with Kurt Cobain blowing his brains out.

After that, nothing was heard of any of them for a while. It was "The day ... the muuuusic died ..." No, but seriously - after that event, Grohl and Novoselic dropped off the face of the earth. Courtney Love took center stage, in her grief-struck in-need-of-anger-management ways. (I'm hard on her, but I actually like her. And Celebrity Skin is a very good album.)

And then an amazing thing happened. Grohl emerged a couple of years later, with this new band called The Foo Fighters. But here was the really incredible thing (in lieu of the fact that Nirvana was all about the songs of Kurt Cobain - songs which are undeniably great): Dave Grohl was the songwriter for FF. AND - he played the guitar, not the drums. Like: WHAT? I know for us Nirvana fans out there, it was a thrilling and exciting thing ... I know I felt like: holy crap, I never knew Dave Grohl could play the guitar, write songs, and most of all: SING LIKE THAT!!!

My favorite thing about Dave Grohl is how he screams ON KEY. Nobody screams like Dave Grohl. Okay, maybe Paul McCartney can. I have probably listened to "Monkey Wrench" well over 1000 times. And I still never get over the thrill of hearing Dave Grohl scream the way he does at the end ... He's screaming, sure, but you don't miss one. single. word (and he does the following phrase all in one breath):

"One last thing before I quit
I never wanted any more than I could fit
Into my head I still remember every single word
You said and all the shit that somehow came along with it
Still there�s one thing that comforts me since I was
Always caged and now I�m freeeeeee....."

It's some of the most exciting music made in the last 15 years.

I don't know how Dave Grohl looks at his years in Nirvana now. I don't know what his feelings are about the whole thing. I'm sure they're very mixed. But in a way: what is extraordinary about that band breaking up - is that it gave Dave Grohl the chance to step into the light.

I hate it that Kurt Cobain killed himself. I love Nirvana, and still am kind of bummed that there won't be any more new Nirvana songs. Those albums are what we have now. There's an end-date. That's it.

But as long as Grohl was in Nirvana, there would be no way he could compete. Kurt Cobain was too strong a presence. Nirvana was a band, sure, but it was really all about Cobain. The Foo Fighters let us get to know Dave Grohl.

I love their first album, actually - the one that they recorded in 3 days. It's actually pretty much all Dave Grohl - he plays a ton of instruments, and he recorded the thing like a bat out of hell. It's rough, it's raw, and it has these moments of such excitement that you feel like jumping out of your skin. It took me a couple of weeks to even really be able to HEAR the songs, because I couldn't get over the fact that Dave feckin' Grohl had written this stuff, and that he was playing the guitar ... It made me SO HAPPY.

Additionally, I have listened to Nirvana songs, and Foo Fighter songs (and most recently - Queens of the Stone Age songs) - and honed in ONLY on what is going on with Dave Grohl's drumming. I suppose a drummer would do this naturally when he listens to other people's music. His ears are trained that way, to hear the percussion specifically - but I'm not a drummer - so it's a bit more of a challenge. But it's SO much fun to do. I do it with The Beatles sometimes, too. Listen to a well-known song, and force myself to onlylisten for Ringo. It's amazing what you hear, especially if they're a really good drummer.

Dave Grohl is one of those drummers I love to listen for. There's nothing expected about how he drums. There are times, on certain songs, when you become aware of him, and suddenly - you can't hear anything else. A perfect and well-known example is Smells like Teen Spirit. It's hard (at least for me) to focus on anything BUT Kurt Cobain in that song ... but when you block out Cobain, and hear what's going on with Grohl in the background ... See, I can't describe it. My brother could for sure. It's just the kind of thing that gives you goosebumps. He's that good.

I remember at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City - when they had those nightly outdoor performances (so much fun. Everyone bundled up, even the musicians, jamming out in the mountain air) ... and there was Dave Grohl, playing the song that was on the Orange County soundtrack of all things. It was "The One", and it was one of those songs that you could not escape from for a good 2 or 3 months. It was on the radio all the time. Another great example of Dave Grohl screaming. It's contagious. So there he is, in Salt Lake ... he had a little cap jammed down on his head, and a parka on ... and there's just something ABOUT him when he sings. He holds nothing back. You want to kiss him. You feel like everything's going to be okay. You feel strong. His energy is so outward, so SUNNY. You love him for bucking the odds like that.

When has a world-famous musician switched bands AND instruments so successfully? I am sure there are examples, but nobody expected it of Dave Grohl. While Kurt Cobain was front-man, there was no way Grohl could show his multitudinous talents.

Then - after three wildly successful Foo Fighters albums ... Dave Grohl suddenly decided: Okay. Now I need to join up with Queens of the Stone Age, and be their drummer for a while, and go on tour with them.

Again ... what?

He said of his work with Queens of the Stone Age: "This is, by far, the most challenging drumming I have ever done."

Listen to him in the background on the Songs for the Deaf album. Tune out everybody else, if you can, and you won't believe what you hear. Grohl is back there, absolutely going nuts. It's intricate, unexpected, and so damn fast ... The music itself is really really dense, and hard hard metal music. I don't even know what to call it. I love Queens of the Stone Age, but it's a whole different vibe than Nirvana or Foo Fighters. One of the reveiws on Amazon made me laugh:

Homme-powered tracks dominate--the lurching, weirdly springy "No One Knows" is a kind of "Monster Mash" for grownups

haha!! That is so right on.

Oh, and just for my own lustful reasons, here are a couple of photos of Josh Homme, front-man for Queens of the Stone Age.

Holy crap. Uhm. Not. Fair. So. Gorgeous. He's like a beefcake tough-guy Craig Kilborne. I kind of can't stand it. Also: great voice. It's really smooth and strong, in a very psychotic way. He sounds like he could conceivably murder you, but he would do it in a soothing and gentle manner. You'd never see what was coming.

The music is thick, churlish, loud, violent, specific ... It doesn't have the raging joy of Foo Fighters, and so I find it not as universal. But I love it anyway. And really, I'm serious: listen to the album, and focus only in on Grohl. You'll start laughing out loud at how NUTS he is going in the background.

I look forward to many years ahead ... I'll follow this guy anywhere. You want to do a polka album? I will so buy it. You want to do an album of children's lullabies? Dude, sign me up. Whatever you want to do ... I'll buy it.

The almost-perfect album: a letter to Marshall Mathers

Oh, Eminem. My dear Eminem. I have been listening to The Eminem Show which is, possibly, one of my favorite albums ever made. Second only to the Annie soundtrack and Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. You're in good company.

I would even venture to say that The Eminem Show is almost - ALMOST - a "perfect album". This is a rare thing as we all know. And you came very very close.

It would have been perfect. It would have been ...

Except for Track 9.

I yearn to listen to the album all the way through, because each song just adds on the one that came before. I never feel like skipping around from track to track (which is one of the marks of a perfect album ... where each song flows naturally into the next) - but Eminem - I am a huge fan of yours, so you should listen: I ALWAYS skip Track 9. The first day I got the album, I sat down in my room, popped it on ... and listened to the entire thing. Exhilarated beyond belief. I was out of my mind. White America?? Please!! And you OPEN the album with that song?? Dude. You've got some major balls, and I love that. Who else would ever do that? And each song followed the one before with inevitability ... never disappointing, full of surprises, humor ... each one with a different beat, a different story to tell ... but still ... somehow all adding up.

Until Track 9.

I listened to it once. The first time. And I haven't listened to it since. What's the problem with Track 9? It just doesn't "go". Not only that, but it has no beat. At least not one that I feel like listening to. I also am not wacky about Obie Trice in general, although I know you love him. Don't like his voice. He sounds slowwwwww as molasses compared to you. It's not because of the content of the song - which actually I get what you're going for there. It's basically a "HAVE SAFE SEX" message. Excellent message. But who cares if there's no beat, and Obie Trice is at the wheel? It just plain ol' don't add up.

Bummer, man. You almost had it. You really did. Stupid Track 9.

Track 9 is sort of like the grapefruit in a fruit salad. You know. It ruins the whole flavor. So I just skip it. I pretend it doesn't exist. To my mind, the album goes from Say Goodbye to Hollywood to Without Me.

I'm not the only one who feels this way, Eminem. I am not just a random lone voice. I know a lot of people who think The Eminem Show is pretty much a high-water-mark in terms of music - but NONE of them dig Track 9.

Just a small word of love/critique ... from "your biggest fan, Stan". No, just kidding, Em. You mind if I call you Em??

Letter to Eminem Complete. Now comes for the audience participation moment

I know in my mind what I think a perfect album is. You know. "Perfect". All elements go together, nothing is missing, lacking - everything is equally good: vocals, songs, lyrics, music, production ... song ORDER ... all flow together. It's not an album of disconnected songs - the album itself is a whole. It tells a story.

The first "Perfect Album" that comes to my mind is Fleetwood Mac's Rumors. I kind of think you can't get any more perfect than that album.

I'm also considering Rubber Soul to be pretty much perfect. It's another album that I listen straight through, never skipping around.

What say you all? Perfect albums??

What songs always sound good?

This one's from Ilyka:

What songs do you always, always leave playing (whether they're on .mp3, CD, or the radio)? What songs always sound good?

Ah. I love questions like this. On any given mix tape (yes, I am a luddite) I make, at least ONE of these songs is bound to make an appearance. Some of them have been favorites since I was in college, mkay? My response to the song hasn't faded with repetition:

Fields of Joy Lenny Kravitz.
First and foremost. Funny - there's probably going to be some kind of anecdote/memory behind each one of these song choices! I remember the first time I heard Fields of Joy ... and I came to it pretty late. Although I liked a lot of Lenny K., I didn't have any of his albums, and only knew the stuff on the radio. So Fields of Joy somehow escaped my notice. I first heard the song having dinner with two friends in the middle of what I think of as my winter of discontent. (Labeling it is a distancing technique, I guess.) In the middle of the bleakest season of my life, comes this song - this joyful joyful song. I have listened to it at least 3 or 4 times a week since then. I will never get sick of it.

Lithium, Nirvana.
Can't get enough of it. Will never get enough of it. And I will never EVER get used to that song. It does not become less surprising the more I hear it. I never listen to that song in anything even resembling a casual over-it manner. An exhilarating piece of music. Transcendent. Great great rock song.

Til We Reach That Day, from the "Ragtime" soundtrack.
The first time I heard it I thought I was going to lose my mind. Sarah (played by the exquisite Audra McDonald) is shot by cops freaking out at the sight of a black woman running towards their motorcade. Coalhouse Walker begins the song with a scream of agony: "NOOOO" and then slowly - one by one - with voices joining in - building - one of the black female characters begins to sing: "There's a day of hope ... may I live to see ... where our hearts are happy ... and our souls are free ..." Dammit, people, I have goosebumps on my arms just writing the lyrics down. The harmony of the massive chorus pierces your soul, you feel the PAIN in the voices, and yet also that they are looking forward to "that day" ... A tremendous song.

Enter Sandman, Metallica.
The song almost feels dangerous to me. No matter how many times it's on Repeat. It is connected to something primal, something deep deep deep. This song has been actively in my life now, for ... er ... 20 years?? I never ever get over it.

Oh Darling, the Beatles.
I love it when Paul screams. "WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T NEEEEEED ME ANYMORE ..." Awesome.

Say Yeah, by Pat McCurdy.
Lyrics here. One of his best songs, I think. Doesn't matter how many times I hear it, I still have to dance around like a maniac when I turn it on. It's on every single one of the workout-accompaniment tapes I make for myself. It makes me want to MOVE.

Paint it Black, the Rolling Stones.
My favorite of theirs. It makes me want to leap into a mosh pit and get a black eye. Repeatedly.

I'll probably think of more. But that's it for now.

Please add your own in the comments.

Please say it ain't so

No. No. I can't take it.

My main response to that announcement is one of stunned silence. (And you have to read the article in order to understand what I'm about to discuss.)

The next thing that comes into my mind, after the stunned silence has passed, is: "Uhm ... world-class, Paula? Really? You were a world-class choreographer?? Ya ever heard of Balanchine? Mark Morris? No? You were obviously successful, hon, I'll give you that ... but world-class?" Also: I wince when I hear someone describe THEMSELVES as 'world-class'.

Only people who AREN'T world-class at a craft would ever describe their OWN ART as "world-class". If you know what I mean.

It's kind of like one of the rules of online dating (a rule I stumbled over myself, after some disastrous experiments): If some guy describes himself in his profile as "laidback", "mellow", or "easygoing", you can bet that the dude has a corn cob up his ass. The same is probably true on the female side. Like, any chick who goes out of her way to describe herself as "mellow" is most assuredly a raging Type-A nightmare. It happened to me TIME AND TIME AGAIN. Some "laidback" guy would show up on the date, and I would find him to be uptight, controlling, and no fun at all. Invariably, he would be rude to the waitstaff (I think I've described my pet peeve about that in some detail), and reveal himself as a bonehead. So I learned quickly. I would scan the profile beforehand. "Hm. Laidback? Oh, he's probably a dick. Next."

Don't get me wrong. I love "laidback". I love other things, too, but I like someone who is relaxing to be around. The problem is with those people who describe THEMSELVES that way ... Maybe it's a problem of self-perception. They truly BELIEVE themselves to be "mellow" ... and yet ... huh? I'm a pretty good judge of character ... and these people were not "mellow". Their senses of their personalities, and how they came across, was ... off. Shall we say.

What I'm really trying to get at here is - there has NEVER been a time when Paula Abdul would be ranked among "world-class choreographers". Her name wouldn't even be on the list. Again: successful? YES. Hip with the latest dance moves? PERHAPS. But come on. World-class?

Anyone who point-blank says, "I am a world-class sculptor" is probably an idiot. And a bad sculptor.

My sisters and I watched some starry-eyed retrospective about the gleaming career of Paula Abdul (ehm ... a Laker girl? Not that there's anything wrong with being a Laker girl, but the sepia-toned quality of the special made it seem like being a Laker girl was on the same level of accomplishment as being Bobby Fischer or something). And the special took a completely uncritical view of Abdul. It was very fawning, which confused all of us. I mean, not that she's heinous or anything, but the special made it seem like she literally had changed the face of pop music, it made it seem like after Paula Abdul appeared on the scene, nothing ever was the same again. But ... huh? Paula Abdul? What? And she said something like, "My choreography is what I am best at. I am truly a great choreographer." And then they cut to some BOGUS shot of the Laker girls dancing, doing choreography that looked like it came out of the first 5 minutes of "Zoom" or something. Like ... they were all in a line, and one by one each of them jumped up and down That was it. My sisters and I were howling. Like ... couldn't they find some better choreography than THAT in order to prove how amazing Paula Abdul is as an artiste?

So the lesson is: even if you THINK you're "world-class" ... don't feckin' SAY it. Cause ... I don't know. Basically, cause it's ikky, that's why. And ... if you're Paula Abdul, you should NEVER say it.

Just because I'm in a bitchy mood

I am going to pull all of the Jewel-esque poems written in the comments sections below and post them here. (If you have no idea what I am up to here, and missed yesterday's madness, scroll down and all will become clear.) These poems need to be shared, out in the open.

The authoresses of these bitchy parodies? Emily. Alex. And myself.

Feel free to add more. As a matter of fact, PLEASE add more.

Here's one by Alex:

Alone
is a reminder
of how far
your acceptance is from
understanding
exactly how
alone you really are.
Therefore,if you are
Alone
then you cannot
understand
nor accept
your own alone-ness.
Thus
you are reminded
constantly
that you are
Alone.
You alone ass-wipe, loser, muther f*cker you

One by Emily

I have brown hair
I like pie
and grilled cheese sandwiches
with ham
but I don't like to eat
with
dirty
hands

(I have to admit, that one made me laugh out loud.)

Here's another one, by Emily

I am tough
and have street credibility
because I
lived in my car
Sure it was at my mom's house and I had amenities and I was really only doing it because I was at that stupid age where I thought doing stuff like that was cool
but I still know mean streets
when I see them
from
my
limo

And here's my contribution

I
I have freckles
I have grey eyes
But they are blind.
Nearly.
I'm not pretty
And my nose is goofy in profile
But I love the Wonder Twins
Form of ...
An ice-bitch.
I have terrible eyesight
I love to kiss
My room is a cave
The light hurts my terrible blind eyes
But I still have freckles
I still have grey eyes
And I'm a pretentious twat with dirty hands

Jewel makes me feel duh-duh-dumb

Like ... what ... does this mean?

Alone
is a reminder
of how far
your acceptance
is from
understanding

I'm really asking. What the HELL is she talking about?

Oooh, Jewel is SO DEEP

Read the following poem and just TELL ME HOW DEEP SHE IS:

There is a pretty girl
on the
Face
of the magazine
And
all I see
is my dirty
hands
turning the page

Unbelievable imagery. Truly, my entire mind has opened up. Oh my God, the models are beautiful. My hands are dirty. I am SO DEEP for noticing this!

Poetry by Jewel

Note from Sheila: I can barely post this without screaming obscenities at my monitor.

Note to Emily: It is your fault that I feel nauseous right now. Onward with the bad poetry by Jewel-bitch:

ME
I
I have blonde hair
I pluck my eyebrows
I have my father's nose,
my mother's hands
I have crooked teeth
and green eyes
I play guitar
I used to get sick alot
I like the color of wine
I've cheated on boyfriends
I've owned fake ID
But my hair is still blonde
and my teeth are still crooked
and I probably won't always like
the color of wine

And that's just the FIRST stanza. The rest is equally as nauseating. "My hair is still blonde". Whaddya want, bitch, a medal? Also, is it so ODD THAT YOU WOULD HAVE A FAKE ID??? Why does that make you special? Also "I have veins that bleed". Well, Jesus, honey, I hope so. WE ALL DO.

On a more serious note: her "poetry" makes me angry.

Expert Essay: by Michele Catalano

Anyone who reads A Small Victory with any regularity will know Michele's feelings about Faith No More, and Mike Patton, specifically. The woman is a true obsessive. GOD BLESS IT! If there's anyone who is an expert on Faith No More, it would be Michele.

Anyway, Michele has submitted an "expert essay" entitled MIKE PATTON 101. I am happy to include it in my growing archive of WACKO essays. (In my lexicon, 'wacko' is a compliment.)

Click below for Michele's contribution to my Expert Series:

EXPERT ESSAY: Mike Patton

The purpose of this is to introduce you to the many musical stylings of Mike Patton: the versatality of Patton's voice, his soothing tones, his guttural screams, his passionate moans, his lyrical genius, his musical genius.

Here are three Mike Patton samplings, from three different eras/bands:

1. Faith No More - Midlife Crisis
It's not my absolute favorite FNM song, but somehow jumping right into Crack Hitler didn't seem right.

With lyrics like Your menstruating heart, it ain't bleedin' enough for two and liberal use of Patton's clenched teeth hissing and growling, Midlife Crisis is a great starting point for the uninitiated. It's got this raw anger that comes only with age; a bitterness that leaves a taste like Greek olives in your mouth and a certainty that yea, you're getting old but at least you're bound to beat the shit out of someone before you're too tired to do it. Ok, maybe that's just me.

2. Mr. Bungle - Retrovertigo.

Taken from the pure work of art known as California, Retrovertigo is, in my mind, one of the greatest songs ever recorded. It's slow, it's moody, it pulls at your gut and sucks you in and never lets you out. Patton's voice is at its finest here. He's all smooth and low one minute and powerful the next and in between there's about a billion emotions. Here, you can also get a great lesson in how to compose a tune that will forever be etched in someone's head. You'll be watching the news one day and suddenly these words will pop into your head:

Now I'm finding truth is a ruin
Nauseous end that nobody is pursuing
Staring into glassy eyes
Mesmerized
There's a vintage thirst returning
But I'm sheltered by my channel-surfing
Every famine virtual
Retrovertigo

And Mike Patton will be singing them. And you will thank me.

3. Lovage - Anger Management
Here we have a selection from another Patton band, Lovage. Guys and gals, if you were ever looking for music to make love to, Lovage is it. In fact, this album is called Music To Make Love To Your Old Woman Lady By . It was produced by Dan the Automator and features the incredibly sexy voice of Jennifer Charles (Elysian Fields) as well as appearances by Kid Koala, Damon Albarn of Blur and Prince Paul. Listening to Music to Make Love is to put yourself in a red velvet bedroom with mirrors on the ceiling. It's sitting in a smoky barroom watching the female lounge singer lick her lips and run her hands down her sides. It's red lipstick and black garters and cigar smoke and maybe even a few dollars on the nightstand in the morning.

my inner demons compel me to be here
your cheeks are flush like rose petals
you're consumed with rage but i'm consumed with you
our eyes intertwine through the haze
intoxicated by your bloodshot stare
in all of my dreams i never thought i'd see
a face that could launch a thousand ships

Swoon with me, baby. Just swoon.

-- by Michele Catalano

More Expert Essays:

On the band The Replacements, by Brendan

How to Eat a Lobster, by Beth

How to Thread a Film Projector, by Mark Lippert

On the constellation Orion, by DBW

On breeding your own racehorse, by Michael Thomas

On surfing the Internet, by Beth

On curbing a hangover, by Emily

On interviewing for a job during a recession, by Susan

On teaching your puppy not to bite, by Noggie

On giving the Irish relatives a kick-ass tour of NYC, by Anne

On tying a cherry stem into a knot in your mouth, by Wavey

Horse Racing, by Michael Thomas

Chili Recipe, by Dean Esmay

Teaching Your Dog Tricks, by Noggie

The Martini, by Skillzy

Making a Damn Good Bloody Mary, by Carrie

Note: If you feel that you are an expert in anything, send me your essay and I'll post it.

Expert Essay: by my brother Brendan

My brother Brendan has just written a fantastic "Expert Essay" on the band The Replacements and Paul Westerberg. I know there are a ton of Replacements fans out there ... and people who love The Replacements are, in general, obsessive about them. I do believe, though, that my brother Brendan is THE obsessive among obsessives. I still remember going to a concert in Philadelphia with my brother and my boyfriend - we were there to see Elvis Costello, and Westerberg opened for them. A magical night.

Brendan, dear, your essay gave me the chills. And I felt a strange lump rise in my throat during the last paragraph. Love you. Well done, well done indeed.

EXPERT ESSAY: The Replacements - by Brendan O'Malley

Whenever I hear people talk about how the '80's sucked, I have to argue. How, you ask, could you argue for a decade that spawned all those horrible songs that we all know by heart even though we hate them?

The answer to that question dates back to a rainy night I spent driving around my hometown. I had just gotten my driver's license and it was late at night. I remember the streets being rain soaked, sparkling. It was cold. And I was a teenager. An American teenager.

I was raised listening to the Beatles, folk music, and show tunes. A few years earlier, I'd been wrenched into puberty by Purple Rain but this night I discovered the underbelly of that blockbuster. I was listening to the local college radio station, something I had only recently been doing because I hated hair bands and synth pop. I heard a song.

For those of you who haven't heard 'Unsatisfied' by the Replacements, your shame ought to crush you. I won't dwell on that particular song only because it launched my lifetime musical obsession, but suffice it to say that the Replacements sound like what it feels like to be 16 and driving a car late at night on rain soaked streets in America.

To give you an idea of how ballsy, hilarious, tragic, sexy, wasted, and brilliant this band was, they named their third album 'Let It Be'. Paul Westerberg, the poet rock'eate of the band said that if it was good enough for the Beatles, it was good enough for them. This album is so good that it is better than the Beatles 'Let It Be'. Yes, I said BETTER THAN THE BEATLES.

In fact, if you took the Beatles, smashed their tour bus into the Rolling Stones' hotel (crazy sidenote...listening to my itunes randomly and the Beatles 'Let It Be' came on just this fucking second so maybe their 'Let It Be' is better than the Replacements)

Where was I? Beatles bus, Stones hotel, then sent them to American high school, gave them shitty fast food jobs, stuck them in the most disaffected era of American history in the midwest where you pretty much had to kill someone to get noticed, fed them a steady diet of cigarettes, cheap booze, punk rock, and the explosion of the mass media culture...well, you get the drift. The result is

ASTONISHING MUSIC...

Some highlights...

Color Me Impressed: Begins with the lyric "Everybody at your party/They don't look depressed/Everybody dressin' funny/Color me impressed" while the music careens like a joyride.

Androgynous: A jazzy piano shuffle that imagines a time in the future when men and women are virtually indistinguishable. Remember, this was a punk band. This was akin to Bob Dylan going electric at Newport. Piano? Androgyny?

Bastards of Young: A searing scream at the adults who'd abandoned them..."God, what a mess/On the ladder of success/When you take one step/And miss the whole first rung/Dreams unfullfilled/Graduate unskilled/Beats pickin' cotton and waitin' to be forgotten" (the band, when forced by their record company to produce a video for the song, filmed a kid putting the needle on the record, listening to the entire song, then kicking the speaker in)

Gary's Got a Boner: This was on the same album as Androgynous. Contains the gem "Gary's got a soft-on!"

Treatment Bound describes an early tour through the neighboring cities of Minnesota and ends with someone banging on beer bottles.

Waitress In the Sky: An hilarious, nasty attack on the poor souls who serve us as we fly..."Sanitation expert and a maintenance engineer/Garbage man a janitor and you my dear/Re-unified attendant myohmy, you ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky"

OK, I could literally go on forever. The lead singer/songwriter Paul Westerberg is on a par with Dylan, Lennon/McCartney, Chuck Berry, Costello, Joni Mitchell, ah, fuck that noise. He crushes them.

If you listen to every release, you hear a nation going from Christopher Cross to Kurt Cobain. The man behind the curtain was Paul.

-- by Brendan O'Malley

There are weird little moments in life

- not altogether pleasant - when you realize WHY something touches you, WHY you feel this strange pang at certain poems/lyrics/whatever. At least this is true for me. I'm sort of bright, sometimes, but many times I am dense as fog.

And right now, the words of "The First Cut is the Deepest" seem to me to be the truest words ever written. I had this crazy response to the song, when I first heard it ... It was almost like it brought up memories or something, I don't know ... but it was this deep current of "Oh. My. God. I have to hear that again." I knew there was a reason that I had such a deep and WEIRD connection to that song. Like - I couldn't get enough. I kept it on re-play. For about a week. But I didn't know why. It was the mixture of the music, the lyrics, her voice ... Then the fever passed. And now it's back. Strange. There's an emotional response to something, a gut-level kind of thing, and sometimes it is only later that you understand why. You understand on another level. "Watershed" by The Indigo Girls was the same kind of thing. That song KILLED me, from the first second I heard it ... had no idea why ... and I still can barely listen to it. It's too powerful - and I still have no clue why. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. I'm still learning from that song.

Anyway. I'm a melancholy baby. Sometimes I just want to post stuff like this, even if it doesn't make sense. It's just where I'm at.

Going out for drinks now with a dear old friend. Should be fun.