It’s about the candy, stupid! Great post by Michele.
Speaking of un-PC Halloween costumes, you kind of can’t get more un-PC than the one below. If you can’t guess who I am, then I ain’t telling. Here’s a clue: the red writing on my arms? They were the words “HELTER SKELTER”. And it’s a frontal view, so you can’t really tell – but I am pregnant.
Evil. I am evil. As a matter of fact, when I walked into the party, dressed like that, one of the people at the party looked me up and down, realized who I was, and stated, “That is just WRONG.”
Yup.
I’m going to hell.
And please realize: that I rode the subway dressed like that to get to the party.
So so wrong.
And here’s the side view. I am dancing (with Jackie Kennedy on vacation at Hyannisport – yes, that was the name of the costume, and Mrs. Al Capone). More evidence that I am going straight to hell:
Sharon Tate?
Tasteless Halloween costumes have a long and honored tradition. I got my BA at Kent State (Dinosaurs Roamed the Earth, etc.). Halloween was always a big deal there, downtown overrun by costumed hordes. I remember two guys dressed up as Princess Grace and Natalie Wood. “Princess Grace” had tire tracks on his dress and a steering wheel around his neck. “Natalie Wood” wore green-white makeup with cotton in his cheeks, and was festooned in seaweed.
Not in the Tasteless tradition, but the same year I saw two other guys, dressed as Batman and Robin, tearing down the street. Batman was carrying a bowling ball with a lit sparkler in it. He threw it in a trash can, turned around, and said, “All right, citizens, you can go about your business.” (I imagine they did it more than once.)
Me: I used to go as the Shadow or the Green Hornet, and nobody knew who the hell I was.
a steering wheel around his neck?? now that’s funny.
Yes. I am Sharon Tate. The party had a theme – we had to show up as people who were actually dead. People from real life. Jesus was there. Doing jello shots in the kitchen. And flirting with Indira Gandhi.
Sharon Tate … that is excellent. I had a band called “Jim Jones and the Kool Aid Kids” back in my youth. Love that stuff.
This year my costume is a T-shirt that says “This is my costume.”
Ken,
No one dressed like National Guardsmen? Woosies.
Two years ago, my MIL made the boys Civil War uniforms for Halloween. Hayden was the Gray and Alex the Blue. I’ll post their picture today, maybe. They were super cute.
The funny thing is is that Cashel’s birthday is on Halloween – and he was living out in Brooklyn at the time, so i was out there, for his birthday party. I then got dressed – like that – at Cashel’s house, and traipsed back into Manhattan. I at least put on a long sweater so that Cashel wouldn’t have to look at Auntie Sheila’s weird arms with the magic marker writing. But he looked up at me – I think he turned 3 that year – in the blonde wig, the false eyelashes, the pale skin – and you could just see the confusion flickering in his eyes. Uhm … who is Auntie Sheila? Where is she going in her nightgown?
As a kid I used to dress up on Halloween as the Flash just so I could run through my neighborhood bars and collect not candy, but….money! Drunks would see me coming and have money in their hand just I could zip through the bar at top running speed and snatch it out of their hand! If only I had pickpocketing skills back then!
Excellent Sharon Tate by the way! You could go one year as Lana Turner’s daughter (the one who killed the gangster!) Diana Vreeland? Josephine Baker?(with leopards also?)
I don’t really do Halloween anymore – but I pretty much always dressed up as actual “historical” characters. More fun that way.
My Edie Sedgwick was, perhaps, my favorite costume. And that’s my friend Mitchell – who went as Andy Warhol.
Ron – I like the idea of Lana Turner’s daughter Cheryl, though. That’s the kind of costume where you would need to have two other people – one as Lana and one as Johnny Stompanato.
that Edie Sedgwick picture brings back some memories….aaah yes…Beth..the clown in the kitchen…scolding people!! hahahahahahaha
mere – hahahaha One of my favorite Beth memories of all time. Angry clown bitch-slapping my rude guests.
was that the same night she truely believed she could dance like Madonna?
mere – hahahahah I don’t remember that! was it??? Was i there? I need to see Beth dance like Madonna. In a clown suit.
hmmm. I think so. Beth???
In high school, one guy wore a hooded sweatshirt, dark glasses and dark jeans, called himself “The Grim Raper”.
Hew’d probably get suspended for that today.
I know. How dare she actually be away from the computer at this moment???
bill – hahahaha
Couple years ago I spent Halloween in Memphis. (Bealle St. was W.I.L.D.) While exiting a stall in the ladies room, apparently looking at the floor, I spotted the back of a pair of sexy/slutty black pumps and fishnet stockings. Being the queer that I am, my eyes followed the legs up to a scandalously short black mini-skirt. Catching myself ogling, I snapped my eyes to her reflection in the mirror to find a very pretty black girl applying lipstick…wearing a Nun’s Habit!
I think we were afraid of each other’s reaction and stood frozen for a second. Of course, then I practically screamed with laughter (as did she, thank…God). Half Nun & half slut. Gotta love it.
syd – hahahahaha
That makes me think of the Madonna/Whore complex … hmmmm. I might have to choose that if I ever don a Halloween costume again. Very funny idea, actually.
Apparently they are doing a film about Lana Turner’s daughter shooting Stompanato! With Keanu as Stompanato!
ron – yeah, I heard that. I completely disapprove. Not of the fact that they’re doing a movie of it, it’s a fascinating story – but Keanu? As Stompanato? Huh? In what universe does this casting make sense? Stompanato left Lana black and blue. Stompanato manhandled her to such a degree that Lana’s teenage daughter STABBED HIM. No. Not Keanu. No.
I mean … er … not that anyone gives a shite about whether or not I approve of the casting of Keanu Reeves as Johnny Stompanato. I just needed to register my protest.
One of my best friends went to Holloween party last year dressed as a used condom. He wore a white garbage bag, and covered himself in white dish washing liquid.
Sadly, I believe that was the Madonna evening. Sorry to be away when you need me.
beth – dammit, why do I not remember this?
Explain to me the moment of revelation – when you, a girl in a clown suit, felt like you could dance like Madonna …
I need to know.
okay, Two things:
Red – I LOVE the costume, and Cashel’s obviously a genius, as he saw through the costume, and spoke regarding the Nightgown. That, coupled with some of his previous remarks you’ve quoted (“I’d rather be a peasant with wit than a king with no wit.”) clues me into the fact that he’s astonishingly brilliant. I’m almost afraid to meet him.
Ken Hall – Your mentioning Batman & Robin hints of one of the funniest scenes in ‘Batman’ the movie from that era, with my FAVORITE quote referring to that same visual Joke:
“Some days, you just CAN’T get rid of a bomb!”
Regarding the Green Hornet, the reason why they didn’t recognize you was because you didn’t have a Kato character there, too. It’s a shame, but I’d have to jump to that conclusion.
Then again, I’m quite the Bruce Lee fan, so I might be a bit biased.
Now…what the Hell am I going to be this year? Morpheus, again? I dunno….
Oh, and thank you, Syd for the mental picture of the Nun/Slut. I’m good til 6PM with that one.
wutzizname –
You ARE Morpheus.
You look really pretty as a blonde.
Though the outfit would have been much tackier if you had a rope around your neck.
oh GOD!!!! laughing at the awfulness … but very true.
I should have had a friend dress up as Jay Sebring but … well, you know. That’s pushing the crazy a bit too far.
wutzizname – add a little plaid schoolgirl skirt to the costume, and you’d probably be good til 7.
hahahahaha am I right??
Slightly, but just barely (Non-PC, fall related), when we (Navy) used to play Kent State in football, a lot of our sheet posters had pretty graphic pictures with the title “Shoot Kent State”.
But our best, most non-PC event occured at the Navy-Yale football game in the fall of 1981 when Jodie Foster was a freshman there. My buddy and I created a sheet poster with the words:
“We’re going to kill Yale to prove our love to Jodie!!”
The Yale campus police took it down for some reason.
Back in college I was friends with a girl who was from Texas. Her high school played Plano, TX in football, and at that time Plano HS had had a rash of teen suicides. So her HS had sheets that said, “Kill Plano before they kill themselves.”
Even I went, “Ewwwwwwww, that is BAD.”
My wife and I have a costume set we wear every few years, I am a priest (with an upside down cross around my neck) and she is a fully pregnant nun with her robes cut (almost too) short. Never fails to get a (mostly positive)reaction.
“Kill Plano before they kill themselves.”
Now I can’t help but think of the song from Heathers, “Teenage Suicide: Don’t Do It.” What a deliciously twisted movie that was.
Sheil- I don’t remember what made me THINK I could dance like Madonna, but I do remember dancing like she did in Vision Quest, feeling really sexy. Then I realized I was wasted and had a big clown costume, complete with the white face.
-blush-
Beth, that is so freakin’ funny
Red-
9:15, actually. That thought kept me company all the way home.
Wheee!! ;)
I had heard that Catherine Zeta-Jones will be Lana Turner and Christini Ricci will be the daughter in that pic with the badly cast Keanu…