Diary Friday: “It was a CONCERT from a rock group.”

This is a repeat Diary Friday. It is definitely in the Greatest Hits List of Diary Fridays. And there’s an update (unbelievably) to the story. I’ll post it as a note at the end of the entry.

Every so often I come across an entry that is too good not to share … but is so embarrassing (even more so than usual) that I hesitate. HOWEVER. In an earlier Diary Friday, a discussion ensued among my group of friends about this one day that a “rock group” came and played at an assembly – it was some Don’t Do Drugs assembly – and this “rock group” (gotta put the quotations there) was part of that propaganda onslaught. We all lost our minds – and then that very night, they put on a concert in our gym – a rock concert. We all went (except for Betsy, sadly). Anyway- we could not remember the name of the damn “rock group” – and Betsy finally came up with it: Freedom Jam.

My entry describing the Freedom Jam rock concert is so mortifying that even I, with my love of self-exposure, find it nearly unbearable to read. I’m in my sophomore year of high school.

But here we go.

I give to you:

FREEDOM JAM!

TUESDAY

[written across the top of this page are the words FREEDOM JAM in massive massive letters]

LORD WHAT A DAY! NO FRENCH TEST CAUSE OF AN ASSEMBLY. WAIT TILL YOU HEAR ABOUT THE ASSEMBLY! [This is like a wartime telegraph. Lord what a day Stop. No French test Stop …]

OK, it wasn’t just a normal assembly. It was a CONCERT from a rock group – Freedom Jam. [Even my language there shows that I have no idea what I’m talking about. “a concert FROM a rock group”? What?]

Oh God!

I was in study first period, and I heard them rehearsing. I mean, they were REAL ROCK. [I am so sorry. I just … I have nothing to say …] I ran in there and got a good seat. The whole place filled up and kids had to sit on the floor. The whole set-up was all these speakers and microphones and synthesizers and a big yellow drum set up high. Then Josh Lott came out [Josh Lott!! He was so HOT!] and everybody screamed. This boy is a senior with the most incredible face, an even more incredible body, and he wears plaid pants. He’s a freak. He’s not conceited though. In fact, he is a National Merit scholar. [So conceited people can’t be National Merit Scholars? I’m not sure if that is an A to B correlation there, Sheila.] He just stood there – adorably – waiting for us to finish, and he made a speech about the band and ended by yelling, “HERE’S FREEDOM JAM!” [It’s like U2 came to our school or something.] The whole place screeched and I felt shivers as the guys ran out and immediately began to play. It was fabulous!! Smashing drums and guitars … and the keyboards player. Oh my Lord. I’ll tell you about him later. [Oh God. Please don’t.]

They were excellent. All of them were about college age. There was a black lead singer, two white guitarists, a drummer [and here I wrote a little heart. Yes. A small heart.] and a piano player [another heart, this one much bigger.] All were good-looking and they sounded like a real rock group! [Why didn’t I say “band”? Why did I say “group”? It’s so geeky!!]

They played some Ozzy and they played Loverboy [bwahahahahaha] and Men at Work. Piano player did harmony. I loved how he played. The lead guy wore olive drab, one guitarist had frizzy hair and woire this black suit with a holster [excuse me? A holster?], the other wore this red, white and blue soldier suit, the drummer wore a sailor middy [I am laughing out loud at all of this – THE DRUMMER WORE A SAILOR MIDDY? WTF? Is he Little Orphan Annie???] and the keyboard — oh my heart. He was really small and lithe, and he had blonde hair and the most CUTE face. He was so small! And he wore a red, white and blue striped vest, white shirt, a red, white and blue garter on one arm [oh God, member that look??], black bow tie, black pants, and Darryl Hall sneakers. [The outfits are killing me.] I swear, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

After they sang, they talked and stuff, and did some skits [Oh man.] pertaining to music throughout America’s history. They started off in 1776 and turned all of these patriotic tunes into rock songs. They were hilarious. Then, they went through the Civil War, WWI, the 20s, the 30s, 40s, 50s … the lead guy did Elvis. Oh God! He had on this white glittery suit with spangles and a belt with a HUGE belt buckle, and this guitar with Elvis all over it, and he did the most hysterical things with his hips and eyes. [I am shaking with laughter. “So why do you like that guy?” “Ah, whatever. He’s hysterical with his hips and eyes.”] And he pointed to Heidi in the audience and made her stand up (she was so red) and point at him (she was laughing so hard) and he started to sing, “You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog!” and she dropped right back in her seat! The 60s – “She Loves You Yeah Yeah Yeah” – I particular remember that the keyboards (Tom Caffey) was very cute in this. Oh, and when they got up to present, the drummer, who was also gorgeous, sang “Even the Nights Are Better” [Oh man – that song!!] and he took Heather Cavanagh out of the audience and up onto the stage with him and she was in hysterics as he was singing this romantic song to her, and he fell on his knee before her and (her face was red) she sat on his knee and he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. [You probably couldn’t get away with that now. Some overly-sensitive kid would claim that she was “traumatized” or “sexually harassed”. I do think the “ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog” thing is kinda mean, though. Come to think of it. If they had picked me to stand up – and I felt so ugly and fat ANYWAY – and to be called out like that? It would have been awful. I don’t think I would have sued the school, though. Okay. Onward.]

They were such great musicians and I can tell that they really care about each other. [Omigod.] AND- drumroll – during one of the songs, this is honestly true, I swear to the Lord, I was sitting there, chin in my hands, just watching Tom Caffey – Just watching him. And I guess he felt my eyes on him [Uhm … he was on stage … he had 800 pairs of eyes on him … I almost wanted to cut this next part out, because it’s just too awful – but here we go.] so he looked over at me, and THEN – he leaned on his elbows, put his chin in his hands, and stared back at me. Imitating me. [Oh wow. I remember that now. I FLIPPED OUT. He had called me out, personally. Thrilling!!] This is the honest-to-goodness truth. I tell you, I died! I went crazy!

After that, I was even more in love, and he kept looking over at me, as he was pounding away on the keys, and smiling at me. I was really brave once, and waved.

And at the end, they each talked to us and he finished with this touching speech about freedom. These guys are no space-outs. No way. [Did you walk into the assembly assuming they would be space-outs? I’m confused.] He talked about feeling proud of America – not just in times of crisis, like with the Iranian hostages – but always. But he talked about how when the crisis is over – like with Iran – the feeling of togetherness goes away, the spirit goes away. He also talked about name-calling. He said, “It strips away people’s freedom. Names like ‘N-word, honkie, spic …’ ” [Wow. Again.] Some kids in the back started laughing when he said those words, and he went, “Yeah, you may laugh now, but it’s not funny. Not really.” Mr. Hodge said to me later that teachers and parents can’t make speeches like that to us because we know them so well. We just roll our eyes. But a rock group can and does make more of an impression. Not only were those guys talented, funny and gorgeous – they also really stand for something special and sacred. I love every one of them. They deserve to become stars.

And tomorrow night they’re giving a REAL ROCK CONCERT and I am going! They said they could come down and meet us and I really want to meet Tom Caffey. What a day!

WHAT A DAY! After that, I could not think about anything else.

WEDNESDAY

I went to the concert. I’m crying. How can I put it into words?

I brought my camera, my tape recorder. [hahahahaha] And, after – Tom Caffey signed my dollar and shook my hand. He was standing up on a chair, and I went over and said, “Can you sign my dollar?” [After his patriotic speech, you ask him to deface our nation’s currency??] He grinned at me, took it, and said seriously, “Yes. I will sign your dollar.” Then he gave it back to me and I, in a fit of bravery, “Oh, could you shake my hand?” And oh Diary, he took my hand and squeezed it.

Oh Lord, it HURTS! MY HEART. I shouldn’t do this to myself.

I got some great pictures – we sat down, and suddenly all the lights went out, it was pitch-black and when the lights flashed on, THERE THEY ALL WERE AT THEIR INSTRUMENTS! We all were screaming so loud! The music was louder. I’m practically deaf now. My ears are still ringing.

I got a great picture of Tom at his keyboards. [Oh yeah, we’re on a first name basis now] Let’s see. He had on a blue and white striped tight T shirt, blue handkerchiefs around his wrists [hahahahaha], tight black leather pants, white leg warmers and Darryl Hall sneakers. [That is absolutely hilarious. Leg warmers]

And Rick, the lead guy, made a speech and he said, “Y’know, people think that it’s cool to have drugs, drink, whatever. But we want to let you know that the show you just saw, and yesterday morning’s show, has been totally done without the use of alcohol or drugs. You don’t need to do all that to have a great time.” We all just screamed so loud! (Well. Except for a few spacey dorks.] (“Spacey dorks” ruin everything, don’t they?)

Diary, I honestly don’t know how to say what is going on inside me. I want to laugh, sing, make out with someone, scream, dance, but most of all cry. I get so emotionally worked up. They all just seemed so nice … as guys, as a group, as people …

They said they would come back to SK and I swear – no matter where I am – I’m gonna come back to see them. [I can see it now … I’m walking along the Great Wall of China when my cell phone rings. I answer. “Sheila … just wanted to let you know … Freedom Jam will be playing tomorrow at SK …” I immediately leap off the Great Wall and run to the nearest airport to get myself home.]

I can’t even write what I’m feeling now. It has something to do with boys. And wanting a boy in my life. I have each image of the last two days etched in my brain forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE:

A couple years ago I checked my email … and saw the name “Tom Caffey” in my Inbox. It sounded vaguely familiar … do I know him? Who is it? Opened it up … to find a beautiful email of thanks from FREAKIN’ TOM CAFFEY OF FREEDOM JAM … 24 years after the fact. His sister (Charlotte Caffey – yeah, THAT Charlotte Caffey) had somehow come across my post – maybe she had Googled her brother’s name or something … read my old Diary Friday (the thought of a Go-Go reading my blog is honestly just too much for me to deal with) … and passed it on to her brother. And so Tom Caffey emailed me, and we corresponded for a bit … and he was absolutely lovely. He said he found it strangely emotional to read my Diary Friday – even though it was funny as well. You know, he was a young musician at the time (and he’s still friends with his fellow group members) – and he said it was nice to know that what they did was so appreciated (even though it’s insane, the way I wrote about them.) I seriously reverted to my high school age when I saw he had emailed me. The keyboardist from Freedom Jam emailed me!!! Nearly a quarter of a CENTURY after the show they did, once upon a time, in the gym at my high school. The Internet is pretty damn cool.

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33 Responses to Diary Friday: “It was a CONCERT from a rock group.”

  1. Cullen says:

    The Internet is really damn cool.

  2. Charles J. Sperling says:

    We never had school assemblies like that.

    Randy Newman was the first artist I saw live in concert and at one point, he asked if anybody had a request. I yelled: “‘KINGFISH!'” and somebody else called out another song, but Newman said: “Sorry, I heard ‘Kingfish’ first,'” and he performed that.

    When I was seventeen, I saw the Runaways at the Beacon Theatre and I could have sworn that Lita Ford flipped her hair specifically at me. For a few minutes, I was in love.

    I was glad your update didn’t provide something more like Nick Lowe’s “They Called It Rock”:

    “They cut another record, it never was a hit
    Someone in the newspaper said it was shit
    The drummer is a bookie, the singer is a whore,
    The bass player’s selling clothes he never would have wore…”

  3. sheila says:

    Dan – hahahahahahahahahaha

    Thank you for understanding!!

  4. kathy says:

    This may sound strange, since I don’t really know you. I see a lot of adult Sheila in teeny bopper Sheila. I mean this in the best possible way. Zest for life and excitement in every new thing that comes your way, still the same. It’s a gift and I hope you never lose it!

  5. sheila says:

    Kathy – I know what you mean. There really is very little difference between my zeal for Freedom Jam and my zeal for, say, Jeff Bridges. It’s really the same thing going on – and I hope I never lose it, too!! Thank you!

  6. Jake Cole says:

    There is so much to love about this whole thing, but I don’t think I ever got past “concert FROM a rock group.” I’m laughing so hard right now. I keep thinking of Brendan’s film critic video you posted a month or so ago where he’s like “THIS IS A MOVIE!”

  7. sheila says:

    Jake – hahahahahaha There is so much that is wrong about that statement of mine. One: the word “from”. Two: the words “rock group”. hahahahaha And I KEEP SAYING IT.

    • Jake Cole says:

      I love that you were basically the kid AND the mother from Almost Famous in one person.

      And I miss musical entreaties for civic responsibility. They were always the most bizarre way to have an assembly. I never got a “rock group” though, just those weirdo Jazzercise knockoffs who danced around (shut up, the ’90s. Just shut up). Freedom Jam reminds me of this metal band called Iced Earth whose frontman quit after 9/11 to become a cop, which is an admirable thing. But then he formed a metal band with other cops to tour around schools and berserker scream about respecting elders and saying no, which is just hilarious. I never could find a video of it, which is just as well, because there’s no way it’s as good as what’s in my head.

      • sheila says:

        Jazzercise knockoffs – hahahahaha

        And love your quotation marks around “rock group”. I am pretty sure that Freedom Jam as an entity still exists – they have a big website and everything – so I imagine they are still touring to high schools. I wonder what the shows are like now.

        I love your comments about Iced Earth – how totally bizarre and strangely awesome. A metal band with cops telling you to respect your elders? I am SO IN.

        • Jake Cole says:

          I think the name of the guy’s cop band is The First State Force Band (I LOVE that even cops get into the absurdity of naming a metal band). Iced Earth is more typical metal, kind of a Maiden/Kill ‘Em All-era Metallica knockoff that charms the pants off me because they have a 17-minute song about Dante’s Inferno and a 24-minute suite on the Battle of Gettysburg. I don’t care how derivative they are: I cannot hate any band that makes those two songs.

  8. bybee says:

    When I got to the update and the part about Charlotte Caffey, *that* was when I reverted to teenage Bybee.

    Squeeeee! My Heart!!!!!!

    I agree: Best DF ever.

  9. Dan says:

    Totally agree. Charlotte Caffey = teenage crush = squee!

    If Sheila says Kim Richards (aka the girl from Witch Mountain) reads this blog I will go totally bananas. Er, in a grown up way.

  10. sheila says:

    AHHHHHHHHH

    Kim Richards!! Where the hell is she? Dear dear Tia.

  11. Dan says:

    I believe she went out in a blaze of glory with Tuff Turf.

  12. sheila says:

    hahahahahahahahaha

  13. sheila says:

    bybee – total Squee! Charlotte Caffey??? Excitement!!

  14. sheila says:

    And in Tom Caffey’s email to me he said he was laughing out loud at my descriptions of their outfits – and he said that they would go shopping themselves for the clothes, and would just go nuts buying random shit because they thought it was hilarious (ie: holsters and sailor middies).

  15. Mark says:

    Where the hell is Kim Richards?! Dudes, check out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

  16. nightfly says:

    Freedom Jam! I remember this when you first posted it. Good times. You must tell me more information from this evening’s concert, and the keyboarder from the rock group.

    “I was brave once…” Looks like you’re brave all the time, actually. I think I would rather set my eyes on fire than see some of the stuff I wrote in high school.

  17. Jake Cole says:

    @Sheila

    “// a 24-minute suite on the Battle of Gettysburg. //

    I MUST hear this.”

    Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty789V9RFzc
    Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNT6aBGmxeY
    Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn2Y7wffDFc

    The singer here is the guy who replaced Matt Barlow, the one who left to become a cop (he rejoined a year or two ago because of fan pressure). If I recall, this is Tim Owens, the Judas Priest tribute singer who replaced Rob Halford in Priest and whose stress was compounded when Marky Mark desecrated him via Rock Star. It’s such glorious yet weirdly touching cheese.

  18. I love this so much. Very funny. And I love the editorial comments.

  19. sheila says:

    Johnny – I find this entry so embarrassing that I had to hold myself back from interjecting a comment every other word. Let the nerdery frenzy stand!!

  20. Doc Horton says:

    Proto-Sheila is the greatest. (And so are the parenthetical comments.)

  21. Pingback: Tweets that mention Diary Friday: “It was a CONCERT from a rock group.” | The Sheila Variations -- Topsy.com

  22. sheila says:

    Doc Horton – the parentheticals are really out of control with this one!!

  23. courtney says:

    Couldn’t resist googling them! Have you seen this: http://www.proteacher.net/discussions/showthread.php?t=282209?

  24. sheila says:

    yes!!!! I have seen that – insane, right??

  25. Pingback: Links & Excerpts « Rhymes With Cars & Girls

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