“Corky! We love you! We want you to live!!!!”

Last night – or – er – this morning – 1:30 in the morning – WAY past my bedtime … and there I was in my friend Brett’s apartment in Manhattan – far across the river from my abode – and we COULD NOT STOP WATCHING all of the extras on Waiting for Guffman. Now he has seen them a gazillion times – I have never seen any of them – and … now I just have to own the DVD. The additional musical numbers?? WHAT? The scene where Ron and Sheila are playing “baseball” in the backyard – and Ron is treating Sheila with something akin to emotional abuse – and Catherine O’Hara has this TERRIFYING moment where she stands, completely defeated and still, back to the camera, staring off into the distance. WHAT IS GOING ON IN HER MIND??? Then – despite the hour – we had to skip through the film and watch our favorite parts. Which is hard to choose from because there are so many. We had to pause and rewind for pretty much every single one of Bob Balaban’s moments. I LOVE him in that – as the FURIOUS passive-aggressive musical director. “So … this year … I will be … musical director … which will be … different … for me …” GENIUS. I also dearly love Larry Miller and so we had to rewind a couple of times for his moments – especially his “big speech” when he convinces Corky that Blaine needs him: “If there’s no Blaine … then there’s no Missouri …” I love when that chick who “is a Fabin” breaks down crying – Larry Miller sort of gently (and yet uncomfortably) reaches out and touches her knee. To COMFORT HER. It’s HILARIOUS. Love Larry Miller.

We were laughing, crying, rewinding, shouting, staggering around guffawing … I mean, even that one random scene when Corky has quit the show – and Parker Posey stands at that grill outside her house, grilling the saddest piece of chicken that has ever been seen on this planet. And she’s fanning it. I mean – it’s so bizarre.

“I hate your ASS FACE!!”

Catherine O’Hara’s bangs from this film should be in the Smithsonian.

I got home at 3 a.m. Exhausted. Fell asleep on the bus ride, clutching my George Washington biography to my chest … hahahaha But I was happy. It had been a great night.

Let’s hear it for Bob Balaban!!

“Why are you whispering?? I’m right here!”

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26 Responses to “Corky! We love you! We want you to live!!!!”

  1. Emily says:

    “Well, I’m just going to go home and…BITE MY PILLOW.”

  2. red says:

    How about the guy who is so secretly in love with Corky and FURIOUS that he couldnt’ be in the show?? When he suddenly FLIPS out during intermission: “GOD, I wish I was in this show!!”

  3. Emily says:

    Oh I love that guy. How about at the end of the show, when he’s this mad groupie, waving his hands, shouting “CORKY! CORKY!” like those clips of teenagers seeing the Beatles for the first time?

  4. Lisa says:

    I am ashamed that I’ve never seen this movie. Ashamed!

    I think deployment is going to be a good time to start catching up on movies. . .maybe i should join Netflix.

  5. red says:

    Lisa – I’ll join Netflix if you join Netflix!!

  6. red says:

    emily – hahahahaha I know!! Clutching his little throw-away camera – hahahahaha LOSING IT!

  7. JFH says:

    I think Bob Balaban’s scene with the the theater manager in A Mighty Wind is his best. From IMDB:

    Lawrence E. Turpin: Alright, here’s your giant banjo…
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Um-hmm. It’s very flat.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it doesn’t look flat from in the audience.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: It has basically, no dimension to it.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it’s painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me…
    Jonathan Steinbloom: But it’s not painted on the back. I’m looking ot the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Why would it be… From the audience it’s gonna look perfectly fine. And It looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, A it’s not called furniture. It’s a set.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Uh-huhh…
    Lawrence E. Turpin: And it’s painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: So this is the real furniture, and this is… Is this an actual street lamp?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: I’m sure it was at one time.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Can you have an actual three dimensional object that’s represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it’s pretending to be? Would that be okay?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, it’s perfectly fine. You know, I really don’t have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every… everything is exactly the way you…
    Jonathan Steinbloom: And what are tho… what’s tha… that… Those are lights hanging up there?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, those are lights…
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Could they fall?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: …and that’s a ceiling above us!
    Jonathan Steinbloom: But they look shaky.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: No, they’re not shaky, they’re perfectly…
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a…
    [Lawrence smacks him on the head]
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Oww!

  8. red says:

    hahahahahaha He gets smacked upside the head!!

    “So this is real furniture …”

  9. Erik says:

    Waiting for Guffman has got to be one of the funniest movies ever. I love that all of the actors prepared their own “audition material” for the audition scenes, and the first time Christopher Guest saw any of that was when they filmed it.

  10. red says:

    Erik – hahahahaha I know!!

    Have you seen the additional scenes – Parker Posey does a dramatic monologue for her audition (in addition to her brilliant rendition of “Teacher’s Pet” – which I find difficult to even pay attention to, because of her blindingly white pumps!!) – But anyway – her “dramatic monologue” has to be seen to be believed.

  11. Erik says:

    OMG, yes, I have seen her dramatic monologue. It is outrageous. SHE is outrageous. I love her. So, so funny.

    I also love all of the miming that Catherine O’Hara and Fred Willard do in their audition.

  12. red says:

    And how Catherine O’Hara mouths his lines back at him.

    The Lunts of Blaine.

  13. red says:

    How about the random high kicks Parker Posey does during the heart-rending romantic number “Penny for your thoughts” … hahahahahaha

  14. Emily says:

    And her “less is more” acting technique involving closing your eyes and looking away from a person for no random reason.

  15. red says:

    hahahaha Yeah, like … how exactly is that “less is more?” It sounds very complicated to me.

    “They go like this – i look away – I close my eyes – they look back – i go like this …”

    uhm – what???

  16. Emily says:

    Catherine O’Hara that is.

    “The exercises all mean something. Dr. Pearl will come to learn as Ron and Sheila and I have learned that Corky has a vision.”

    I actually parked http://www.corkyhasavision.com once but never wound up doing anything with it.

  17. Erik says:

    yes, YES, the Lunts of Blaine. SO fricking brilliant.

    I have to say, I enjoyed Best in Show and Mighty Wind, but neither of them hold a candle to the brilliance that is Best in Show. Did you know that Christopher Guest and his troop have already made another improv-based movie called For Your Consideration, which sounds like it’s going to be brilliant, because they’re back in Guffman territory, spoofing actors, which I think is actually a really hard thing to do, because there’s only so many times you can see someone parodying a warm-up exercise and have it be funny, but Guest’s group of actors are SO SMART that they manage to make jokes like that completely fresh. This new movie has awesome Guest regulars like Balaban, Jennifer Coolidge, Michael Hitchcock, Eugene Levy, Jane Lynch, Michael McKean, Fred Willard, Jane Lynch, Catherine O’Hara, and Parker Posey, and it also has Jillian Armenante, which is really exciting, because she’s a character actress who is always good and deserves to work non-stop. She played Melony in the stage version of Cider House Rules (at least she did at the Taper in LA, I’m not sure if she was in the New York production, though if she wasn’t, then it’s a crime) and she ripped through that role like it’s supposed to be ripped through–Melony is such a visceral character, and I have such a strong image of who she is from reading the book–and Armenante completely realized that vision from my head. I know you read the book and know what I’m talking about. Did you see the play? Also, she was recently in North Country, the Charlize Theron movie, which I had lots of problems with, but totally believed every moment of Jillian Armenente’s.

    OH, and also, RICKY GERVAIS is in the new Guest movie, how perfect???

  18. TeacherDave says:

    “BULGING RIVER!!!”

    I love that film.

    “You know how in some places they say, ‘if you don’t like the weather, just wait five minutes’? Well, I think, with a little hard work, we can get that down to 3 or 4 minutes.”

    And the part where they’re planning the sesquecentennial with the scale model of the town, and the guy is talking about putting snipers on the roofs of buildings!

    “If you take the letters of the word Blaine and you mix ’em up, mix ’em around, you get ‘Nebali’–Nebali, a planet far, far…FAR away…”

    “Everybody DANCE!”

    Or when the guy auditions with the confrontation scene from Raging Bull, and Corky’s eyes bulge out of his head as he’s watching this.

  19. red says:

    “Everybody dance!” hahahahaha I LOVE that moment!!

  20. Emily says:

    How about the scene where he’s working out the choreography in his apartment – when he wildly gyrates his hips with his pants on backwards?

  21. Alex Nunez says:

    One of the best scenes I have ever seen in a comedy is in Guffman, and it’s so subtle in developing that you’re not ready for the screamingly funny payoff.

    It’s the scene where Fred Willard is hogging Catherine O’Hara’s mirror time, making her assist him (and being a dick, as usual) as he obsesses over his hair. He is just so incredibly vain, it’s outrageous.

    Then, when they walk on stage for their scene, he’s wearing a hat for chrissakes. Brilliant, and absolutely hilarious.

  22. red says:

    hahahahahahaha I never noticed that about him wearing a hat!!!! THAT’S HILARIOUS.

    He is SUCH a dick. so so so funny.

  23. Alex says:

    Catherine O’Hara is an undiscovered American treasure. Her performance in this film is Oscar Worthy (if not for Mighty Wind as well).

    And I’ve always thought it was a shame that they don’t give out Oscar’s for ensemble work. Guffman is a lesson in working it out as a team.

    I mean, O’Hara and Williard singing Midnight At The Oasis???

    And what about the wierd, orr center “theatre voice” O’Hara uses during perfomance time. I mean, where did that come from?????

  24. red says:

    “California will be a sight for THESE WEARY EYES!”

  25. dave says:

    All of 3 of Guest’s films,plus Spinal Tap make me laugh big time………..got a chance to meet a friend of a friend,Michael- who turned out to be
    Catherine O’ Hara’s brother- and my comment about his sister was that I thought she is ,by far, the greatest comedic actress alive.He was not surprised to hear this- informing me that actors and directors ,drool at the possibility of working with her- and will alter THEIR schedules to do so……..
    Also met Parker Posey a few years ago at a Bar Mitzvah(do I have a great life or what?)- and she gushed about how being a part of THAT ensemble was the greatest gig EVER…………She was very very cool…….And for my $- the most underrated comedic actor Michael McKean……….

  26. Carl V. says:

    I love Waiting for Guffman but have never seen the extras…they sound awesome, I’ll definitely have to check them out.

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