The narrator in Billy Joel’s magnum opus “Captain Jack” can go fuck himself.
Get over it, Captain Jack. Move on. So they found your father in the swimming pool. I am truly sorry to hear that, but how long are you going to keep wallowing? Get a backbone. Stop drinking. Sell your brandnew Chevrolet that you’re so proud of and go back to school. Do SOMETHING. You’re at the place in your life where you want to go on vacation but then don’t because you think there’s no place to go to anyway. Dude, this is a sorry state of affairs.
If you’re tired of living in your one-horse town, then why don’t you freakin’ MOVE? Oh but no. You just want to wive in a wittle hole in the gwound, don’t you? Fine. Do it.
Also, get your damn finger out of your nose. It’s disgusting. Maybe that’s why nobody likes you and why that girl won’t call you. Because you’re a loser in New English clothes, picking your nose on the corner.
You’re gross.
Actually, I always thought that the narrator agreed with you, Sheila – he was as ticked with the guy in the song as you are!
If you can’t understand why your world is so dead
Why you gotta keep in style and feed your head
Well, you’re 21 and still yer mother makes yer bed
And that’s too long
Sort of like “Everybody Loves You Now” – the narrator is just blistering that fool. He comes back to that sort of theme a lot. (“Pressure.”)
“Get your damn finger out of your nose.” HA!
The title is fitting. I for one would be seriously pissed off at you. I mean, sure, I don’t have the slightest idea who “Captain Jack” is or what this post is even about, but if I did, I’m damn sure I’d want to punch you in the face.
/You’re gross./
That’s intensely hilarious to me.
I’ll admit I didn’t know anything about Captain Jack until I googled him, but I am pretty sure that Sheila would be able to wipe the floor with any irate Billy Joel fans who might come her way. I’m not sure Emily would be so easily dispatched, but of course she won’t be throwing any punches in light of the fact that she’s not actually an irate Billy Joel fan. ;-)
Count me in with Emily. I’ve never heard of that Billy Joel song, but then Glass Houses is the only album of his that I own because it has “Laura” on it, his best song EVER, and “Goodnight, Saigon” which is also awesome and makes me cry.
So, feck off, Captain Jack, whoever you are.
I’m a tard. It’s The Nylon Curtain, not Glass Houses.
Ignore me; it’s been a long day.
Lisa – big props from me. “Laura” is an awesome song.
That’s one of the best things you’ve ever posted, Sheila.
I have to go to the Hospital now. I think I had a small stroke.
“Don’t even try, CHiPs!”
“Back OFF, Wachovia. Get a LIFE.”
“Get over it, Captain Jack dude.”
I love it when you go all Dr. Phil on… “not-persons”?
you know… I NEVER knew the lyrics to that song. I just had to google it so that I could comment. And you know what a Billy Joel fan I am. but. I agree- gross! EEW. yuk! get the finger out of the nose and go home. TMI
waaaaaaaaaaaaah…….
Uh, guys? Am I way off here? I always thought the nose-picking was a cocaine reference, not an actual you’re-gross-and-you-pick-your-nose slur. I took it as one more layer of Captain Jack’s fucked-up-ness. Also, Sheila, is this an appropriate time to segue into “piano man”? I totally will wait for your permission…
Ooh – is the picking of the nose a metaphor?? I’m so naive.
And please, Jean: Piano Man away!!
The version of the song that I have is a live version and it’s on Songs in the Attic – one of my favorite albums of his. Summer, Highland Falls is one of my favorite Billy Joel songs EVER.
But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island …
Fine. Be a loser. Get high, go to your special island, just leave me out of it, please.
Get a LIFE, Wachovia!!
DUDE. Thank you. I hate fucking Captain Jack and that song. Love most of the Joel though.
I just found out that Billy Joel is married to that really attractive woman who is one of the judges on Top Chef. Wow–the man obviously has something working for him. She is around 25 or so, seems fun and bright, and is really pretty. I am not a fan of his, but I give him his props.
Billy Joel is like that–follow up a great album like The Nylon Curtain with a piece of fluff like An Innocent Man (dude, I don’t like Frankie Valli even when Frankie Valli does it).
Uneven, but points for adventurousness, I reckon. Sort of like Neil Young, not that he’s a patch on Neil Young.
I’m not sure about the “finger in yer nose” reference, but I’m nearly certain that “Captain Jack” is a reference to heroin. The subject of the song is strung out on the smack. (I just sounded like Henry Higgins!)
Remember: It’s always hilarious to sing “Captain Jack” in the style of Ethel Merman.
its hilarious to sing anything as Ethel Merman.
“and take you to your special iiiiiiiiisland …”
I can so hear that in the Merman voice. it’s hilarious, even in my head.