Let’s get mortified, shall we? This diary entry describes a Hawaiian dance in my sophomore year of high school.
Fri. Jan. 21
Tonight was a Hawaiian dance. I tell you, I was not looking forward to it, because the last dance was a disaster area. I didn’t go Hawaiian, but I did borrow a lei when I got there. It wasn’t even half-way full, but practically everyone was Hawaiian.
Travis had on a grass skirt made out of garbage bag strips. And Joel had a grass skirt and man-hole-cover sized glasses. Betsy had on a long wrap-around skirt with huge blue flowers, and the DJ had on all white, a white top-hat and a white ruffled suit and this blue light was on him, so he sort of glowed. And he took requests so I asked for Devo, The Clash, J. Geils, Adam Ant, Loverboy.
(I love that I listed all of the band names. Total time-travel hilarity)
God, I love music!
And when he put on Stray Cat Strut, I did my tap dance. (Oh my God, I sound like such a geek. You DID YOUR TAP DANCE?? And then you WONDERED why no cute guys asked you to dance??? Meredith: if you are reading this, you will know exactly the tap dance I am referring to.)
All those great songs – I go WILD. We all do. We SWEAT! [Right, Beth?] It is so fun. The minute I hear the beginning notes of “Jerkin’ Back and Forth” or “Rock Lobster” or “Workin’ for the Weekend”, we all race out onto the floor, going INSANE. I dance until my throat is dry and my legs ache.
I’m not fooling myself. I had an awful time. I loved the music, but John was there. (hahahahaha “I danced until my legs ached! I had an awful time!” Also, when I read over this this morning, I thought: who the hell is John? And then – I remembered. Some guy I had a crush on, who said about 3 words to me, and I convinced myself it was true love.) I saw him come in and I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and then Betsy grabbed my arm and said sternly, “Forget him, Sheila!” [And here I am, 280 years later, and I still find myself in situations where my friends have to speak to me sternly, and say stuff like, “Forget him, Sheila!” Such as we are made.]
Betsy went on sternly, “He has on a girl’s headband. Please forget him.”
[Best putdown ever]
Then we walked off, arms around each other, and for a while I did forget. [Little did I know that I eventually would forget so completely that I would read over this entry decades later and think, dimly: Who the hell is John? Ha! Revenge.] I talked to Mr. Hodge, and some good songs came on, and there were some songs that Mere and I had to make fun of. We would strut around, eyes closed. (Uhm, girls? That’s how you make fun of the songs? You strut around, eyes closed? I’m not sure I get the joke.)
Oh, and a TV cameraman was there for some reason, and he was filming us, and he took close-up shots of me charleston-ing to “Goody Two Shoes” [How unbelievably embarrassing. CHARLESTON???], he also filmed me and my friends going WILD to “Rock Lobster”. He filmed all of us going “down … down … down…” onto the floor. The entire gym full of kids falls down onto the floor at the end of “Rock Lobster”. Anyway, I asked him later what the film was about, and he said that it was for a special on teenage alcoholism.
What? I said to him, “I’m not drunk!” And he laughed and went, “I’m not going to say you are.”
John was dancing with another girl and when he knew I was nearby he kissed her. (Uh, Sheila, are you sure of your facts here? Are you sure that it was because of YOUR hovering presence that he kissed her?)
So I’m really proud of the way I handled myself. I didn’t look at him, or look jealous, or even acknowledge him, and I danced like I never danced before. [Flashdance?] I feel like I looked pretty bubbly, with my mini skirt, sweatshirt, tie, white tights, and skips, [My TIE??] and with my – ahem – peripheral vision I knew he kept looking over at me. My heart cracked in two and all I wanted to do was sob, but I danced and laughed – Man, it was hard work. I wanted to cry. I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING SO MUCH.
So I acted “up”. I was crazy. I felt insane. I had no control. After cavorting madly to show John I didn’t give a fuckin’ shit about his buns, I went over to sit down cause it was a slow song, and Patty sat beside me and said, “I’m really sorry. I tried to warn you, but I feel bad for you.” I said to her, “What has it been? 3 girls in 2 months?” And she said, “Well, just be glad you weren’t one of those girls.” I nodded.
So I sat through the slow song, chin in my hands, staring out at the big silver ball twirling above. I felt kind of bad. Kate hugged me. I just sat staring off. Why do I STILL like him, even when he’s been a bastard? Probably cause I know that underneath he’s really a nice guy. [And here the womanly pattern begins. Falling in love with an asshole’s hidden potential.]
So I read the heading of the diary friday and thought to myself, “I don’t think I went to a Hawaiian dance”… but apparently my amazing sense of style was important on that date.
That was an enormously entertaining read. “Rock Lobster,” “Working for the Weekend,” “Stray Cat Strut.” You put me right back in high school. I would have loved to see your tap dance and Charleston.
And John – ha! I love that part where looking back you don’t even know who in the hell you were talking about then. Oh lordy, the “relationships” that I thought were life and death when I was in my teens just double me over in laughter now.
And the outfit! I still have a picture of myself at a party in the eighties where I had a heart-like design drawn on my cheek in lipstick, spiked up hair and a loose fitting knit tie over a tee shirt. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is alternately hilarious/humiliating when I look at it now.
Great diary entry! Bring on more!
I’m always a little shocked when fashion and me are combined in a positive sense (referring to the comment about John – not the blue flowered skirt) –
To all of my high school friends – the house goes on the market on Wednesday! AAAAhhhhhh…
//apparently my amazing sense of style was important on that date.//
HAHAHAHA
I love how you basically just gave me a talking to, Bets! Thank you!! Who needs a guy who wears a girl’s headband, for God’s sake??
That was hysterical. I remember your tap dance, too. And “We would strut around, eyes closed” – hahahaha! And Betsy’s comment – about John’s girl’s headband – hahahahahahahaha!
I love how you are Charlestoning and tap dancing and strutting in your sweatshirt and tie and then how you say:
/So I’m really proud of the way I handled myself./
All to “show John I didn’t give a fuckin’ shit about his buns” — hahahahahahahahaha! I cannot stop laughing at the mental image of this whole thing.
Also: Kudos to Betsy!!!
Tracey – hahahahahahaha I love the things you pick up on. Yeah, really: I strutted, and swayed and lay on the floor, and I was wearing a TIE and charleston-ing to Adam Ant … and I say I was proud of how I handled myself??
I’m dying!!!
Meanwhile: John, the fabled John, has NO IDEA of what is going on. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. I wasn’t on his radar AT ALL. Or if I was on his radar, it would have been something like, “Who is that lunatic in a tie doing the charleston over there?”
Jonathan –
I still have a picture of myself at a party in the eighties where I had a heart-like design drawn on my cheek in lipstick, spiked up hair and a loose fitting knit tie over a tee shirt.
HAHAHA I know just that look!! Hysterical!
Kinda like this guy?? hahaha
And yeah, really: John? Who the heck is John???
I just wish we could get a hold of the tv crew’s footage. I envy everyone here who has seen you Charleston and tap.
I know!! Meanwhile, you just know that the voiceover of the segment would be like, “Teenage binge-drinking is on the rise …” as they show me jumping around like a lunatic in my Hawaiian shirt. It would have totally made me look like I was the problem even though I had never had a drop of alcohol in my life! Ha!!
I’ll have you know the garbage bags had never been used.
I also love how you say you looked “pretty bubbly” in that outfit. So I’m basically unclear here on your definition of bubbly.
It makes me think of another entry where you said you felt …. what was it? “Fresh and jazzy”? Hahaha.
It’s like I read these entries and then have to go lie down.
I think I could change a few of the names and the dance steps (I never could tap dance) and this could be my diary entry!!
Oh, and the binge drinking video footage? I found out about 10 years after high school graduation that many, many people thought I was drunk at most high school events my senior year… however, the first time I was drunk (and this is actually more embarrassing to admit) was AFTER I graduated college.
Thanks for the stroll down your and my memories.
I absolutely love, Trav, that you just commented on this entry. I can’t stand it! It’s a high school reunion, and I love it!
Ok..WHAT? we strutted around with our eyes closed? What does that mean? Did we bump into things?
and yes, I certainly do remember the tap dance. that was so painfully funny. and you “cavorting madly” You showed him!
(girls headband..good one Bets-so true!)
You referred to his “buns”. heh heh.
You showed him!
HAHAHAHA
Yeah, really. He probably was burning up with the mortification of having “let me go”! Look at her! I could have had that girl in the tie over there, strutting around with her eyes closed! How will I ever go on??
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