I love this site: Texts From Last Night.
“the last 3 guys I’ve hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player…I need a type…”
“All I’ve ever wanted to do in life is right”
“Maybe you should learn how to spell write first”
“I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.”
“So why didn’t Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?”
“You need to stop watching Twilight.”
“I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.”
“I pooped in a mop bucket. ”
“WTF??? ”
“Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that”
“How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend”
“Get a boyfriend”
“Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad”
“i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.”
“i think im in thre room next to you”
“Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw”
“strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing”
“could be more”
“absolutely not”
“so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in “scottsdale” to spell “milf city.” who knew?”
I don’t really text so I have nothing to add – but there is some damn funny stuff on that site.
Comedy gold! Such a find. I’m laughing so hard at some of these.
“Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa”
(212): Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
(718): OMG. Drunk.
(662): I’m so glad you fill me in on these things.
(718): Sorry. Must’ve been trying to twitter.
(775): Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
(1-775): What!?!?! How are you txting?!
(775): Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The last text message I recieved myself was a good one, actually. I got it last night while I was out dancing. It was from my dad:
‘This is dancing, Trog, dancing…’ ‘But kind scientist lady it hurts my already calloused feat’ (translated from Gruntish). ‘Trog, this is civilisation!’.
(Yeah. As a family, we are obsessed with the 1970 Joan Crawford ‘Trog’ movie.)
Oh, of course you have text stories!
(LXHam) Yo wtf bro Y U talkin about me like that?
(ABurr) Chill LX just Repubs bein Repubs
(LXHam) Not cool
(ABurr) Hey Im not the one who tried to run GW’s whole admin
(LXHam) No – that was TJ and he was rong NEway
(ABurr) Hey lay off my peeps
(LXHam) Get bent bro. After I backed you for VP why you play me liek this?
(ABurr) LOL U backed me get real like I nedded U
(LXHam) It is ON, bitch
(ABurr) C U in Weehauken looser
OMG the Hamilton-Burr texting. Hilarious.
/”I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.”/
For some reason, I can’t stop laughing at this one.
Here’s the latest:
(818): On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!
hahahahaha
This one really touched me actually:
// he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE. //
Amen, sister.
You go, girl!
I may never leave that site. Hilarious!
This is so weird! An ex sent me a link to this website on Thursday. I spent all of Thursday night in a hotel room reading every single text laughing out loud!
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