I did not watch the whole thing – I got home in time to see only a couple people.
Katherine McPhee: horrible dress. Adorable hair. I hated how she stalked around the stage. It seemed totally random. She ignored Barry Manilow’s advice about keeping a specific person in mind to sing to. It seemed very GENERAL. Which is horrible, when you’re a performer. Good performers have many different qualities that make them good – but one thing they ALL have is they are SPECIFIC. To all the singers on the show, except for Mandisa: THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE SINGING TO. God – this is where they really show their amateurishness. BUT on the good side: the chick has some major pipes. That’s a professional voice. I actually could see her performing on Broadway. Her voice is a Broadway voice. I wish she would let loose with it a bit more – and really LOSE herself in the song. She’s way too self-conscious, and too much preening for the audience. Forget the audience. Look at the great singers in their heyday: Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland … Yes, they are great performers … but when they are in a song, the entire world goes away, and we see their private inner world – dreams, hopes, longings … They let us IN there. That’s why they are legends. Katherine: stop preening. It’s amateurish. Stop strutting around randomly. This is stagecraft 101. If you make a gesture on stage – make sure you have a damn good reason. Otherwise, you look like a puppet. You wanna be a professional? Start taking your art seriously. I’m serious. She’s got the best voice on the show. But somehow … it’s not GETTING to me.
Taylor: Sorry, Taylor fans, I thought his performance was a mess. I agreed with Simon. First of all: horrible and lazy song choice. It didn’t show off his voice – which is a fantastic voice. I love his voice. Also, the dancing around – I feel sometimes like the atmosphere in that room is artificial (hahaha YA THINK???) and they forget what it feels like to actually have to WORK on an audience. In my opinion, Taylor’s getting lazy. Come on, dude – challenge yourself. Go there. Paula and Randy are right – you already ARE a star. But I was bored bored bored by your performance last night.
Lisa: Uhm – she made no impression. She’s adorable, and I love her passion … but I think her voice is unattractive, and again, she looks like a raging amateur.
Kevin: I want to put a frog in his bed. Or booby-trap his locker. I’m sick of this kid.
Elliot: LOVE this guy’s voice. But … it’s empty. Weird. Alex and I had a big conversation once about Lorna Luft – we were listening to a tape of her singing – and you can HEAR Lorna’s mother in her voice – I mean, God – we all should be blessed with such pipes – but something’s missing. It’s an empty experience listening to her. It is JUST a good voice. Now Lorna’s sister – ahem – Liza Minelli – is the opposite. I think that, actually, Lorna has, technically, the better voice. But Liza is a fantastic performer. She just GOES there. It is NEVER an empty experience listening to Liza. Elliot strikes me like Lorna Luft. Which … would mortify him. Although I’m sure he doesn’t even know who Lorna Luft is. He doesn’t connect with the lyrics, or the audience. However: I do love the sound of his voice. He makes it all sound easy.
Kellie: I’m gonna be brutal, so look out. She looks awful. I hate her hair. She DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO WALK ON STAGE. I thought she was going to fall over at any minute. When she came down the small set of steps, I held my breath. She kept looking down at her feet to make sure she didn’t trip. Uhm – maybe a nitpick – but that’s the deal. Professionals don’t behave that way. Mandisa, to me, already seems like a professional. Like she would just CHARGE down those stairs, and if she tripped?? Oh well, she’d keep singing. Kellie Pickler is in way over her head. I also can’t stand her persona. Phony. I’m over her. Also, frankly: I don’t think she can sing. Her low notes suck (come on, singers – don’t just go for the big orgasmic high notes – that’s LAZY. Work on your lower registers. You’re not all that good yet. You’ve got work to do.) And there’s something … vapid about her voice. She didn’t know WHAT she was singing about. The song had no depth. (The song itself has depth … but she didn’t bring any depth to it.) Amateur. Go home.
Ace: Sigh. I thought he was terrible. I have no idea why people make such a big deal over his falsetto. I think it’s atrocious. I literally winced when he hit that last note. Also, Ace: the big floaty arm movements when you sing do not really serve you or your performance. BUT on the flipside: the guy really does seem like a sweetheart. I actually like him very much.
Paula truly seemed like she was jacked up on coke last night. When Simon kept condescendingly shushing her, I guffawed with laughter. hahahahahaha
SO:
Who do you all think is leaving??
My vote is Lisa, even though I WANT Kevin to go. I think it’s her turn to leave. What do you think???
I can not agree with you more on every single comment!
I guess you missed Chris last night. But to me, it seemed like he put a huge distance between him and the rest. Mandisa and Taylor are next behind him but even they could not compare to what he’s doing now. It almost feels like he has people in the industry working for him. It’s really not a competition anymore for me. He’s in a class by himself. It’s two weeks in a row now that he’s made a song his own and put his unique artistic style to it. I don’t see anyone touching him for the rest of the show.
He also exposed Katherine, Lisa and Elliot’s weakness. It’s exactly what you said in your post. They do not connect, they don’t seem to have that artistic sensibility that Chris and Taylor and Mandisa have.
I thought Paris did make a major comeback. She kicked ass on that song and showed quite a range.
Bye Bye Bucky.
I did miss Chris. Bummer. I am having a full-blown imaginary love affair with him, and I’m sure he’s pissed that I blew him off last night.
Oh that’s right – I forgot about Bucky! I kinda love him a little bit … was he bad last night?
Is he going home??
I thought the Pickle was going to take a header off the steps. I don’t know… I like her. She’s not going to win but she doesn’t annoy the piss out of me the way Kevin does. And good God, if they showed Constantine one more time in the audience, I was going to scream. He’s so disgusting with that greasy hair and that big ass on his chin.
But we’re talking about this season… Katie McPhee does need to loosen up but good God, I fall deeper in love with her each week. I can’t help it. I’ve got it bad. Oh, it hurts, it does!
Taylor was atrocious. The hair cut looks better on him but what was up with the Forrest Gump outfit? All he was missing was a bowtie and box of chocolates.
Oh, and Paula needs a sedative.
Oh and Kelly and the walking down the stairs, YES! I was terrified for her, it was so awkward. I think the chaffe is showing up now.
It was interesting watching Barry Manilow work with Elliot and him just not getting it. Tell the story of the song people. You can’t teach that I guess. Kelly, Barry told you it’s about a woman who’s been kicked to the curb. You still didn’t get it. Does Kelly read your blog? Why am I talking to her?
I’m not even going to say anything about Kevin. It’s a joke now.
/// does kellie read your blog? why am I talking to her?//
hahahaha
I just blatantly addressed Taylor Hicks and he probably doesn’t read my blog either …we just need to COMMUNICATE with these people!!!
curly – I so get it about the mcPhee thing. She’s a stunner – a real natural beauty, I think.
I love having celeb crushes!!!
So who do you think is gonna bite the big one this round??
Idol ruminations 3/21
UPDATE: As always, Dean has his thoughts up. Interesting how we agree on some point, disagree on others, but our bottom three are the same.
UPDATE 2: Tracy also has her thoughts up. Again, it’s interesting where our opinions meet and diverge and w…
Katie stirs me in my loins too but she ain’t doing it for me anymore. I don’t think she’s got it in her anyway. She’s nice to look at and nice to listen to but even the fantasies are getting dull for me.
I am DEEPLY in love with the way this conversation is going right now.
Please continue.
Bucky’s one of my least favorite singers on that show. If Kevin doesn’t bite it I want Bucky to. I like his personality but I think he’s a one trick pony and the tricks been boring for 4 weeks now.
Lisa’s biting the dust this week methinks. If not her, Bucky. And that, given their performances, is probably as it should be.
Kevin has obviously sold his soul to Xenu. There is no other explanation.
i missed Mandisa, Bucky, and Paris, but i saw the rest. loved Katharine’s, and Chris’s, and Elliott does have a good voice, but you’re right about his song choices. also, i just want someone to throw the mike at paula to make her SHUT UP. honestly. Taylor wasn’t even singing, it made me so mad. he CAN, so why wasn’t he?!
i want kevin to leave, but you’re right, it’ll probably be lisa. not a huge fan of her voice anyway, even if she can sing better than some of the others..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bottom 3: Bucky, Lisa, Kevin
I really like Lisa’s personality and early on I had her in the top 3 or 4, but she’s fading away.
Oops – my guffaw of laughter was for Cullen’s Xenu comment ….
If you haven’t already, go see what Jess has to say about Chris (it’s hilarious). Like Jess, I think he’s tasty but did not like what he did to Johnny Cash last night.
Predictions:
Bottom 3: Lisa, Kevin, Bucky
Going home: Lisa. I also think it should be Kevin but sadly, I think we’re stuck with him for a few more weeks. Grrr.
yeah, cullen’s Xenu comment IS hilarious! :P
On Chris’ Walk the Line fiasco (yeah, I thought he did a great job with his adaptation, I just hated it), I finally watched the movie Walk the Line Tuesday. So, I had to listen to two cringe-producing versions of the song in as many nights.
Here’s what John Podhertz on NRO’s “Corner” said:
The competition will come down to Chris Daughtry, Katharine McPhee and Mandisa. Chris will win and become a major star. Katharine will get a lead role on Broadway, and Mandisa will do just fine as well.
Can’t say I disagree with the analysis too much.
I couldn’t disagree more with Jess’ comments on Chris Daughtry. (Like anyone cares). This is not the time or the place to pay homage to another singer and his music. This is a competition where you must prove yourself a STAR. An American Idol. Who cares if you sing like Johnny Cash. Sing YOUR song. Show us who you are. I think he’s miles ahead of everyone there. Simon said it best last night. You don’t compromise, ever.
Y’all quit talking about me.
:)
I don’t need to watch this show — y’all provide all the entertainment!
And I think Taylor will oulast Catherine if he picks it up and stops playing it safe.
Clearly I need to calm down.
Lisa – hahahahaha
I hope Katie McPhee does become a Broadway star because then she’ll live in New York City. I’ll be waiting for her at LaGuardia with my Gay Conversion Kit (what you’ve heard is true — we each receive one them at the orientation meeting) and I’ll have her switch teams faster than Elton John’s new musical about the vampire Lestat will close.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to carve CMcD + KMcP into the bark of a tree.
i missed Chris, so I cannot weigh in. I was totally impressed by his “Higher Ground” – and a KIND KIND KIND reader actually sent me the damn mp file of his performance that night!! So now it’s on the ol’ iPod, and it makes me soooooo happy.
curly – also she’s got the nice Irish/Scottish name … you’ll make a wonderful pair.
You need to tell her never to wear the dress she wore last night ever again, mkay?
HAHA I know people don’t like Ace but I would like to borrow two gay conversion kits from someone and convert us both (if he’s straight) so we can fool around.
Chris was awesome, Lisa’s going home, and if not her, then Bucky. Mandisa was great. Taylor was awful. I hate Ace’s falsetto too (and you know I’m not a fan), but the rest of the song was so much better than he normally does, and he only brought the falsetto out for the one note, so I was shocked into voting for him (I know!). And Kellie, well… aside from the other million problems I’ve already mentioned, give that girl a curling iron.
I think Chris is the best singer/performer on the show. And I was very impressed with his rendition of Walk the Line. I just didn’t like it at all. If it were on his CD, it would be the track I skip, but I would buy the CD.
david – “from someone”?? hahahahaha Maybe Mitchell can help us out when he comes to town!
Again: I love the semi-sexual way this conversation keeps going. I adore it.
Carry on!!
Are you coming over tonight??
Although if I had a gay conversion kit I might like macho guys and not the pretty boys so I wouldn’t be attracted to Ace anymore. That would suck.
You’re not above it? But you’re not ashamed of it neither??
I can’t wait to sit in your living room and watch who gets voted off!!
What should I bring to drink?
You’re coming?? whoo-hoo!
I have wine. Do you want to bring the beer you like?
Once again, I love how my friends make plans with me IN MY COMMENTS SECTION
Oh, and if I had a Gay Conversion Kit I would be going for the Joan Jett types is my feeling … The tough girls, with the beautiful faces.
oh.my.god. i just got here and cant stay..i have a dentist appt..but Mandisa and Chris..they are the ones!!! She is so beautiful and poised..i like Elliot too..Kevin is so cute…but..bah-bye!
Pickler? yuck. and David if u find a conversion kit..i would be happy as a clam to video the experience for future use!!! love u both!!!!
mitchell – hahahahaha I love how you just make a brief “appearance” and then flee the scene.
See you soon, space twin!!
To continue the sexual undertones…
Maria asked me if I wanted to shtoop Katherine and I told her that I was attracted to her but if I cheated on her it would have to be with someone that’s going to rock my world in the sack. I don’t think she would. Maria then said she thought shew would be “fun” in bed, “perky”.
And that’s my problem with her now, she’s detached, fun and perky. I want to see some deep, down something going on. I don’t see it and so I don’t think she’d go there in a sexual way either.
David, I love it when you get all feisty! Ha ha ha. I definitely agree that singers should take a song and make it their own but I don’t think Chris improved on that song at all. For me, he stripped it down and didn’t rebuild it in a memorable or compelling fashion. Regardless, he doesn’t even need the show (or my opinion). He’s no doubt fielding offers already.
Chris has no problem “going there”, I’m thinking. Ahem.
Yeah, chris is going to tell you exactly what he wants and what he wants to do and you’re going along for the rid. Curly, any extra gay conversion kits, me and Daughtry have a video to make for Mitchell.
David – you’re out of control
“along for the rid”??? hahahahaha You’re typing like a lunatic over there – I can FEEL IT!!!! hahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHA, I need to CALM DOWN!!
you’re a real pal Dave!!!!..shit..i gotta go..damn u all for being so brilliant!!!!!
Sheila, I’ll personally remove the dress from Katie McPhee… if you catch my dirty drift.
hahahahahaha I can literally FEEL the frenzy!!!
Dave? I don’t think you’ve ever called me Dave in your life. But, whatever Mitch.
Yeah, WTF with “Dave”???
I am howling right now
exactly, Dave!!! btw..im sure u all think i prefer Ace..seing as tho i like the pretty boys…but Chris gets my motor running..raaawwwrrr!!!
You know how Simon was chastising Paula about it being a SINGING competition. We’ve turned it into a porn star competition.
I’m going to set up an online shop for Gay Conversion Kits over my site. $19.95 plus shipping and handling. If you order within the next five minutes, I’ll throw in a complimentary gift certificate to West Elm for you boys. The ladies will receive one of those cup things to collect your monthly… uh, friend. Lesbians have to be crunchy and concerned about adding to the landfills — it’s the law.
mitchell – you are not alone in that. Dude’s a fine hottie.
im laughing at the use of Dave myself!!! i thought it went well with the word “pal”..can’t wait to see u both!!!!!!
mitchell – hahahaha And that David picked right up on it. “Dave? What??”
Curly, OMG!! You’re my new best friend.
Curly – I don’t think I could do that cup thing. I … just couldn’t. I would have to hide my feminine hygiene products from the sisterhood in order to avoid their scorn.
In my defense, I think Chris is wonderful. But it’s a competition, not “The Chris Daughtry Comfort Zone Show.” When he’s fronting his rock band, I will go to their shows and buy their CDs, and yes, probably lift up my shirt and show him my breats. I just wish he’d at least try something different.
Chris has a good voice, but he’s even better at lifting other performers material and pretending it’s his own original variation.
Higher Ground? – arrangement was a baldfaced theft of the old Red Hot Chili Peppers version.
I Walk the Line? Go take a listen to the band ‘Live’…. ‘Awake: the best of’ recording.
…from the mid -’90’s. He couldn’t have performed more of a carbon copy.
And two weeks in a row, the supposedly music industry-conscious judges not only did not call him on it, they praised him through the roof on his ‘originality’, on making the song ‘his own’?!
Sheesh, wake the heck up!!!
Laura – hahahaha “baldfaced theft”? Wow. That’s quite … well. It’s not like a CRIME has been committed.
I know the version of which you speak, which is awesome, and I also enjoyed Chris’ version.
To quote Picasso:
Good artists borrow. Great artists steal.
Red, I’ve outfitted my bathroom with a hidden panel to hide my pads and tampons. I also stash my Howard Stern tapes in there as well as my beauty products that were most likely tested on animals.
Let me know if you want me to come over and customize your can. I have a drill and I know how to use it.
You know, out of context, those last two sentences could seem really foul.
Jess – the whole “comfort zone” thing kinda bugs me, too, in general. The whole show seems to be focused on making these little fan-groups – keeping people hooked in and invested – so that singers come out to people waving signs and jumping up and down. This is completely artificial. Normal singers – even big STARS – actually have to COMMIT to something to keep the audience hooked in. It’s not enough to just show up.
You have to (to quote one of the best films made in the last 30 years) “bring it”.
Ok here’s my take on the “comfort zone” thing.
As an actor, if I was doing a showcase for agents, I would pick a piece that is in my “comfort zone”. I would not choose a competition setting to challenge my self. I would figure out what I do best and then “bring it”.
When Chris gets a career I can see us all posting about how he’s becoming stale because he’s not stretching himself. But now, he needs to keep doing his thing and showing up every week to win this thing.
And I need to become a back up singer or a crew guy or something for him because I think it’s the only way I’m going to get a chance to see Jess lift up her shirt now (as if I had a chance before).
The next best thing to reading y’all’s comments is the recaps from Television Without Pity.
From the AI recaplet:
Bucky sings Buddy Holly’s “Oh Boy,” and he sounds like no fewer than three different singers, none of whom I’d really care to hear again. His hair is back to looking like he slept in a back alley somewhere, though it’s still slightly poofy, enough to make you think the alley is behind the unisex salon.
and
Kellie Pickler set her own personal make-up gun to “corpse,” I think. What the holy hell is going on there? Barry makes fun of her totally hardcore, and it’s lovely, and then she sings some Patsy Cline in her usual shit-kicker bar style, and I’ve heard worse, but I am not kidding when I say that she looks like the Grim Reaper’s court jester.
Well, David, that’s a good point as well. Yes – during an audition is not a time to ‘stretch’.
It’s like Sam used to say, David – how he wasn’t a believer in the “colors school of acting” – do you remember that?
Let me show THIS color in this monologue – and ANOTHER color in this monologue …
hahahaha I remember one chick showed up at class – not a regular – and she was like, “Well, I chose these two monologues to show two different colors …” and Sam launched right in: “I’m not a big believer in the colors school of acting …”
hahahahah She looked at him like: Huh??
But there is a good point in that. Do what you do well. If you do one thing well, then do that one thing better than anybody.
Lisa –
I am crying with laughter. I hadn’t read that yet … The Grim Reaper’s court jester???
ha ha ha, David, you kill me. And for future reference, I usually require little more than three shots of tequila and a video camera pointed at me to lift up my shirt.
Lisa:
//whereas somewhere in America, Jacob’s head popped clean off his body//
hahahahahahaha
Jess you want to come over to Sheila’s tonight, I’ll bring the Cuervo Gold?
Oh, and Sheila? You just called Bring it On one of the best films in the last 30 years. I have no quarrel with you. Besides, I’m the girl who’s irrationally defensive of Bucky.
Jess –
I do believe that Bring It On is pretty much the pinnacle of film-making. It speaks to the issues of every era. In a ringingly clear voice of truth and hope.
I’m kinda serious, which is what is rather sick about the whole thing.
Jess – hahahaha I LOVE that you “irrationally defensive” of Bucky. hahahaha We all get so invested in these people!!
Geez, leave the comment section for an hour and all hell breaks loose.
Curly, as a guy married for 17 years, should I know what one of those “cup things” is? Not sure I WANT to know, but I don’t want to be ignorant, either.
(BTW, I had you in mind, when I posted that thing about McPhee going to Broadway; how do we know she’s not a lesbian, anyway.)
Totally invested! Mard my words: I will cut anyone who dare besmirch the name of my intended, Katie McPhee-McDimple.
JFH –
Google “Diva Cup”. If you dare.
I’m a tampon girl. Keep that damn diva cup away from me.
Mard my words? It sounds like I’m typing with a cold. Or rather… wait for it… the McPheever?
Oy, shutting up now.
And JFH, if you really want to know what the cup thing is, I’ll email you. Otherwise, I’ll leave it alone. I advise you to do the same. ;)
Lisa:
//He’s also got a bit of the “open casket Irish wake” thing happening, but I’m sure some of that is his usual perma-blush. //
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oops. I just told him to Google Diva Cup, curly. Should I not have done that???
Can I just say how proud I am for taking a discussion about American Idol to the Diva Cup? I’m totally putting that on my resume under Special Skills.
hahahaha
Now all we need to do is bring it back to Xenu, and the circle will be complete!!
I’m interested to hear his reaction! Google it, JFH!!! :)
Because I know other men will do the same, I foresee a lot of internet history and cache clearing in the next few minutes…
Dude, TWoP is BRUTAL to AI. Jacob used to recap it, and he was funnier than watching the show.
They certainly have a way with words over there. It’s SO enjoyable to read the re-caps. I loved their Project Runway re-caps.
I will fill a million landfills with my tampons and pad before I use one of those Diva Cups. I think it was invented by a man who got his rocks off picturing its “installation.”
“I will fill a million landfills”
Lisa, I’m howling ….
I feel the same way!!!
…um…uh… That Google search was, um, informative… thanks for sharing Curly and Sheila
(Of course, the rest of my workday is now shot, but that’s not that unusual)
Yes, the use of paper feminine products is one instance where I have no qualms saying, FUCK THE ENVIRONMENT. Woodsy the Owl can suck it as can the crying Native American. Bawl for all I care. I’m not inserting a cup in my cooter. Fuck you.
shit, man, i’m sorry.
Not quite like searching for Betty Buckley’s Broadway career, now is it?
My deepest apologies. Do what you can to erase what you have seen out of your head.
Well, I’m glad I read through all of that before conducting a search. I feel sufficiently warned.
I’m sorry JFH for my part in this. But then again, it’s not like I sent you looking for this contraption. Now, THAT would be shameful.
Curly,
That was the way I felt about cloth diapers. I’d rather have disposables in a landfill for a hundred years than cloth ones in my house for five minutes. Talk about toxic waste!
13 billion pads and 7 billion tampons? Hmmm… that comes out to almost 9 pads and 5 tampons for every woman in the US (over the age of 9 and under the age of 70) every cycle!
Does that seem right to y’all (I’d ask my wife, but she’d ask why I needed to know and then I’d be “grounded” from going to Shiela’s blog for a period of time, AGAIN)
JFH – hahahahahahaha
Excellent mathematics – very impressive!!
Uhm – 9 pads seems a bit excessive to me, but (and I can’t believe I am saying this) every woman’s flow is different.
cullen – yeah. No need to go there!!!
And if I’m still menstruating at age 70, someone please just shoot me, mkay?
Wait, is it 9 pads in conjunction with 5 tampons? See, if you use a tampon, you might just want to use a panty liner for backup and only on those days in the beginning. If you don’t use tampons, you would need to use more than 9 pads because you need to change them frequently each day (more than twice, in other words). I would not want to be around a woman who only used 9 pads in one week. P.U.
Okay, using a more reasonable age bracket of 12 – 55, the numbers come to:
11 pads and 6 tampons for every woman in the US every cycle.
I leave for half an hour and we went from gay conversion kits to feminine hygiene…now how can I turn this around and steer it toward blow job technique,hmmm.
Sheila, while we’re doing math, I’d be interested to know if your traffic plummeted or the abandon rate on your site increased since this particular discussion started?
curly –
I am a tampon and panty liner kind of girl. Like anyone gives a crap. Good Lord. What has happened to this thread.
So yes … using only 9 pads without any backup is … well. Very third-world country=ish and I want no part of that.
My cycle is short and sweet, however.
Again: LIKE ANYONE GIVES A CRAP.
curly – I don’t know about traffic but I do notice that many people are, uhm, not commenting.
Can’t say I blame them. They show up, all excited to talk about Paris or Elliot, and they see the following comment:
hahahahahaha
David –
what time do you want to come over tonight?
Oops – I just realized that my innocent question to David could be seen as a RESPONSE to his last comment.
hahahahahaha
No but seriously – David I’m gonna be home in between 6:30 and 7:00 – all things going as planned … wanna say in between 7 and 7:30??
JFH – in my opinion, that tampon number seems really low. You really should be changing your tampons much more frequently than that number indicates.
Not you, personally, of course.
BTW, 13 billion pads would fill a box with 150 yds sides… (assuming they were Kotex maxi-pads… sure glad my wife didn’t catch me measuring her pads.):
Wife: What are you doing now?
Me: Um, measuring your feminine hygene products…
Wife:
Me: Uh, it’s a experiment
Wife:
Me: Did you know that 13 billion pads are disposed of each year just in the US?
Wife: (Gives me the oft used “How did I get married to THIS guy”, turns and walks away)
Interesting discussion. How many pads do you guys suppose Ace goes through?
JFH – my favorite part of your little skit is this:
Wife:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Not half as many as Kevin, ‘fly.
Curly,
I just clicked on that link.
You are dead to me now.
hahahahaha. JFH is one funny guy.
Sheila, let’s say 7:30.
If you really want to get out we can but I thought I’d like to be part of the whole domicile, psychic experience, and it’ll save us some $ too.
So, speaking of tampons, who likes blow jobs?
Well, and then we can also just sit down and watch American Idol. Very important.
7:30 will leave me plenty of time to get home, if there’s traffic.
David – STOP THAT.
relentless …
you are relentless …
“speaking of tampons” ????
hahahahaha
Yeah, your right, I’ve gotta work on my segue technique.
Thought I was taller.
merely remarking that i just read the words “ignored barry manilow’s advice”.
bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
My favorite comment of the evening was, “Get ready to shed a tear, America.” Ryan Seacrest could have been sucked into heaven for that moment of sheer honesty.
How could anyone ignore Manilow’s advice, he wrote the songs that made the whole world sing, people!! He advised us that we deserved a break today!
Brendan,
Diva cups, blow jobs, gay conversion kits, stirring of loins etc. and you pull that one out…
Talk about one of a kind, that’s you my man!
Barry also advised me that I was ready to take a chance again (saw Foul Play right after a girl I had a crush on turned me down for the Homecoming Dance… [sniff, quiet sob])!
(Much later, I found out that Barry didn’t actually write that song, it was Charles Fox, who had another famous song that proved to be quite prescient about my search for love on a cruise ship… okay, it was a couple of one night stands, but still; how many of those romances we saw on TV would have really lasted after the cruise was over)
Okay, this “I write the songs” thing has bugged me for nigh unto 25+ years now. If you listen to the words, the song says, “I am music, and I write the songs.”
MUSIC writes the songs, not Barry. I don’t know how this whole “Barry writes the songs that make the whole world sing” shit started, but it stops TODAY.
God.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled period/blow job conversation. . .
Lisa – hahahaha
It stops TODAY!
Yes, ma’am.
Being my first [concert], I feel very protective of Barry. Apologies on the outburst, but it had to be said.
I forgot he was your first concert – that’s right!!
David, you said “loins.” Now I’m all grossed out.
But, but, Lisa, Barry says that HE is music.
For example, when Robert Oppenheimer stated “I am (become) death, the destroyer of worlds” did anyone doubt that he was attributing to his portion of responsibility (or accountability) for creating a nuclear fission weapon?
Then, again, is a singer, merely an actor, singing words of a character. Or, for that matter, is JFH getting far too philisophical, in order to avoid work for which his employer is paying good money? Tough questions, tough questions…
JFH just compared Barry Manilow to Robert Oppenheimer.
My work here is done.
“B” says the government employee in an office by herself with a T1 line using your tax dollars to defend Barry Manilow.
I shall yang to your yin, Lisa. This gov’t employee will use T3 lines to cut down Barry. Really, though, he looked you could bounce a quarter off his surgically-tightened cheek.
JFH just compared Barry Manilow to Robert Oppenheimer.
LOL (literally).
Wife: “What are you laughing about.”
Me: “Just a joke about Barry Manilow and Robert Oppenheimer”
Wife: “What?!”
Me: (Scrambling) “Uh, Barry Manilow and Robert Oppenheimer walk into a bar…”
Wife: “I don’t care about the joke, aren’t you supposed to be working?”
Me: (Whew!) “Yeah, just taking a quick break”
I only defend him against attacks that he wrote the songs, Cullen. Copacabana? He’s on his own.
Man, if I had to work out of the house I would have to find a way to shut myself off from the outside world — including the wife. My hat’s off to you JFH.
JFH –
hahahahahahahahaha
I feel like I know JFH and his wife. I want me and my wife to become best friends with them. Is this a possibility? JFH. Can we come over?
JFH
You KILL me!!!!!
Can I just say something? I HAVE to say something!!!! I miss Fantasia.
Cuz, here’s the thing. Every time that woman came on stage, every time she opened her mouth, every time she appeared, she was PRESENT. She was THERE. Her body, her voice, her eyes were alive and she knew what she was singing about. Music engulfed her. She bacme a part of the song. It meant something to her. It was as if she needed to communicate to us, and she did.
I’ll never foeget her singing Summertime on the edge of the stage, feet dangling, arms flailing, and voice soaring. No music, no teetring on stillettos, and no stupid, fake attemots at being “cute” and “Country”.
Now, I like these entertainers ( some of them) but they seem to be missing something thia year. Is it just me or are they a bit bland?
With the exception of wacky grey haired guy.
I can’t remember anyone’s name. Sorry.
And I’d like in on the Gay Conversation Kit. I own stock on that patent.
Alex –
I missed the Fantasia season. As always, I am late to the American Idol party, and got into it during the ascension of Carrie Underwood.
But yeah – in general – I feel that this batch of people have a hard time connecting. Or – it’s not that they have a hard time – it’s that they literally would not know what you were talking about when you said “Connect to the lyrics”.
Like Katherine SAID she understood what it was about – and then flat out didn’t do it.
That could be adrenaline, sure … but a real star knows how to negotiate his or her own adrenaline.
I wonder where Fantasia is now, though. What made her so great on the show that didn’t translate to record sales or radio play?
What Fantasia is up to.
I believe she’s touring, Lisa – with somebody pretty big. Can’t remember who, though.
Realize that I get all of my information from True Hollywood Story: The Girls of American Idol.
So just factor that in.
Thanks, Cullen! I remember hearing about her when she was touring with Kanye West – that’s the tour I was thinking of.
She was up for Grammy for her new album, and it’s recently gone Platinum. She’s doing great. Its a fabulous album. Fabulous!
She’s not geting the air play Clarkson is, but remember, it took Kelly a while before she had the kind of sucsess she’s enjoying now. Fantasia will hit. No doubt. She’s the new Whitney, I believe. Sans crack.
And yeah Sheila, that’s the trouble I think. I mean, dont gt me wrong, I LOVE the show. LOVE IT! And I think these kids have talent, but they need to BRING it!
And really, LISTEN! Listen people! There’s no excuse for singing flat.
I love the bald guy. With the teeth. I just love him.
I am a wiki whore.
I think that quote should be handed out by Fantasia’s publicist:
“She’s the new Whitney!” Long pause. “Sans crack.”
Aha. Good to know.
Cullen just called himself a “wiki whore”.
My work here is done.
:)
I am a wikki wacky whore.
I don’t know what I’m talking about, but Sheila, you now have 145 comments on your damn blog about American Idol. Genius.
David,
Actually, I had this fantasy last Friday flying into La Guardia (coming from Boston and going to Greenville, SC, where I live).
“What if I get stuck in NY overnight? Shoot, I could get a room in a hotel and call up Shiela and invite her to dinner. Sheila, not worried about a potential stalker, who she’s never met, would accept my invitation and invite all the NY posters on this site to meet me! I’d be a big hit, especially for a conservative, and everybody would say that I was a real “cool” guy. I’d be finally accepted into the arts crowd that shunned me because I was an engineer with an MBA”
Seriously though, talked to a couple on the USAir Boston-New York shuttle who were going down to NY for a weekend (Had tickets for the Sat. show of Wicked) and think that might be fun for us (we’ve got direct flights from 3 airlines). I’d LOVE to meet y’all if the circumstances ever worked out.
Oh Alex, there’s so much more here than just idol. There’s a feminine cup that has haunted me all day. I can’t believe I’m going to finally meet you. I’m a little nervous about it so I’ll probably make a really inappropriate sexual comment early on in our meeting. Just to warn you. It’s where I go when I’m nervous.
Sounds like she played almost exclusively on R&B stations, which is kinda limiting, don’tcha think? None of the Top 40 stations play her here; I’ve never even heard her sing “Summertime,” which Wiki said debuted as #1.
I find that strange. You’d think Fox (or whoever) would cross-promote her better. Bo Bice didn’t even win and I hear his stupid song 40 times a day.
JFH – you are absolutely killing me on this thread. Start to finish.
Of course you’re a cool guy!! YOU MET MARK LESTER!!!
If you are ever in New York, even for a couple hours on a layover – you BEST be callin’ me!!
Alex – I know. This comments section is out of control. I adore it.
Or – er – JFH – you can’t call me, you don’t have my number … but you can email me!!
Oooo, did y’all know Jack Wild died?!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4765996.stm
I saw that the other day and thought, “I bet Sheila doesn’t know about that, or she would’ve blogged it.”
Lisa – bless you for making the Mark lester leap. You are a hero to me.
Yes … sad … That Artful Dodger was such a huge part of my childhood!!
I actually did hear about it – but … er … I failed in my blogging duties and did not blog it.
Sorry, Jack!!!! I loved you!
To quote one of the songs from Oliver:
So long, fare thee well
Pip pip cheerio
We’ll be back soon!!
David- KINDRED SPIRIT! I go there too, when nervous! And, kinda when I am not nervous. (I guess I am just a filthy pig, which is an issue seeing as I work at a Catholic school….)
Beth – hahahahahahahaha
You are not a filthy pig!!! I am guffawing …. hahahahaha
David
Can’t wait to meet you. The more innapropriate you are, the more at home I’ll feel.
I am thinking now of you admitting to the fondue table: “I’m nervous … that’s why I’m laughing … ignore me …”
So sweet!! Member that??
Oops that last one was for Beth. I believe that nervous moment had to do with a very sick cat, if I’m not mistaken.
David – when Alex and I first were introduced, we stood there, staring at each other, silently – and then, to show her excitement, Alex pretended that milk was spurting out of her breasts every which way.
I think you two will be fine.
How could anyone ignore Manilow’s advice, he wrote the songs that made the whole world sing, people!!
Oh, drat – I don’t know the name and I can’t remember where I heard it:
“I write the songs for both the young and old
For elevators, and when you’re on hold
I can’t believe some of the crap I’ve sold
I write the songs, I write the songs…”
And if we’re having a big “nobody here is a stalker” blog party, I want in.
hahahaha Nobody here is a stalker party!!! Why does that make me laugh so hard??
We need to have some big kind of … gathering this summer … We really do. Alex Nunez and I had a brief conversation about it – and Bingley’s in – and I think we need to make it happen!
Nobody here is a stalker, though!!
Milk squirting from her breasts…OMG, the only uncomfortableness will be each of us trying to out inappropriate the other.
And yeah Beth, I’m with you. I mean I wasn’t nervous while commenting on this blog and I kept trying to veer the conversation from tampons to blow jobs. Who the hell am I kidding?
David – I think the ones who are going to be uncomfortable are going to be everyone AROUND you.
It will be a glorious moment!!!
I do this thing with my balls and a couple of bags of beef jerky that should really break the ice.
(Good artists borrow. Great artists steal.)
And you know the courtesans will burn ….
Wow, that was a fun comments section Red. I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know about the cup thing.
Did you catch after the Pickle sang when she was talking to tiny Seacrest and he asked her a question and she said, “Um…” and stared off into space? And he said something like, “OOOKKK, we’ll get the answer for that next week!” hahahahahaha She sucked.
I really, really, really want that annoying little pigeon face Kevin to get kicked off, but I have a feeling it will be Lisa or Ace.
YAY!! Kevin is gone!
Jen – hahahaha Yeah, that long blank “Uhm” from the Pickler was truly great (ie: horrifying) television!
Buh-bye Kevin. Buh-bye.
Ding! Dong! The Munchkin’s Dead!
Seriously, this is like if Dorothy’s house landed on the Lollipop Guild. Poor kid.
My friend David said: “It’s about TIME”. Yup. He was on about 3 weeks too long.
Uhm … actually, I never liked him – never thought he should have made it this far ANYWAY – but since he WAS here, I still think he way outstayed his welcome.
buh-bye!!!
Sadly, I rushed to the computer this morning to quickly check the (inappropriate) comments in this section to get me psyched for the day!!
And yes, Sheila, we were at Betsy’s house with her dying cat when I couldn’t stop nervous giggling. Now I am older, and mature, and turn everything into a dirty joke.
Dear God.
Re: The Pickle.
What was up with, “Ballsy? What’re those?”
Now I not only question her act, but her intelligence. Either she 1: Thinks she can actually pull that one off, which would mean she is stupid; or 2: Legitimatly didn’t understand, which would mean …
Ugh. Good TV would be her in the Running Man.
cullen –
“which would mean ….”
hahahahahahaha
exactly!!
beth –
If you ever change that about yourself, I will sink into a pit of despair!!
By the way, Beth – we have GOT to get you and David together. We were talking about you last night – he was trying to remember if he had formally met you. I thought he did the night you guys came to see me and Jen in that show at the Atlantic Theatre? Years ago?? I could be wrong.
David said to me, “So is Beth’s husband the one who sawed the coconut in half in the basement?”
hahahahaha
I was like: “UHm, YES. That’s the one.”
why are peole dissing Barry??? I leave to go to the dentist and it becomes a Barry punch fest??? Sappy? yes. Cheesy? yes…and driving throught the streets of Las Vegas this past X-mas with my sister as we sang along to “It’s a Miracle” like our lives literally depending on it..is truly one the best moments of my pretty wacky-filled life! Viva Manilow!…now if we want to start trashing the fat, drunk hack called the Piano Man…im on it!!!
Sheila last night: “I am irrationally defensive about Barry Manilow.”
I relate.
I felt he genuinely wanted to help everyone of them. I loved his comment about if his career ever died he would do this for a living, helping young artist grow. I believed him, but then again I am sappy and cheesy and all that.
Sheila last night: “I am irrationally defensive about Barry Manilow.”
I relate.
I felt he genuinely wanted to help everyone of them. I loved his comment about if his career ever died he would do this for a living, helping young artists grow. I believed him, but then again I am sappy and cheesy and all that.
I’ll stick up for Manilow any time of the day or night.
me too..hooray…saw him in college with a group of cynical young adults…convinced that we would laugh and scorn the sap and the cheese..instead we lit lighters, screamed “Barry”..and wept copiously at Weekend in New England.. a perfect night.
Yeah, I was recalling that night to Sheila last night. If I remember correctly a rehearsal was cancelled that I was involved with even though I turned down Red Sox tickets to go to it only to be left behind (yet again…does anyone remember Hickory? Julie, are you out there?) by my Barry Fanilow friends.
But I’ve let that go a long long time ago.
Let’s refuse to let this thread die!
clearly you’ve moved on.
yeah..why weren’t you there? i remember that we got the tickets form Steve somebody and that jackie didnt get one..so she came and got one from a scalper….there was a lot of cheap white wine consumed.
And I remember not being involved in ANY of this.
what??? u weren’t there either? it was summer time..so school was not in session..but still we saw each other all the time??? was it the bad time???..i remembered B and J stromed the satge durign Copa Cabana..genius!!!
Was that the summer of the beginning of the Tonio romance? That might be why I was out of commission. What year was that??
it may even been when u were in Boston for the summer????
Oh I just felt a pit of despair open up beneath my feet.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING IN BOSTON????
For God’s sake. Nightmare!!!
I want to yell at my younger self: GET OUT! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIFE!
Mitchell! That was my reaction at Barry’s concert, too, except was “One Voice.” He had gotten a choir of local kids to come up on the stage (in the round — kewl) with him and sing the chorus, and lordy we all bawled like babies. Which we were, but that’s not the point. (We were sixteen.)
Barry rocks. And if you’re not moved to tears hearing “Even Now,” well, you’re dead inside.
I need to get me some Barry Manilow Greatest Hits on the ol’ iPod. I really do.
i remember coming to see u the same day i had a wisdom tooth removed..you were NOT happy!!!
That whole summer sucked. I keep trying to block it out.
I remember you coming up after the wisdom teeth thing. I literally felt like the Messiah Himself was coming to visit – Like: ohhhhhh myyyyyy Goooood, Mitchell’s coming! He will save me!!!!
Bleh.
Also, I missed Barry Manilow. That’s just not right.
When I first got a CD player, two of his albums were one of the first I bought.
Barry Love: It’s a sickness.
im telling u..Sandi and I “rocked out” to Barry… at one point the music was so loud that we we screaming…”This is the…im having the…Miracle,true blue spectacle…i have goose-bu…”…my sister Sandi is the r and b and hip-hop queen..so the Power of Barry compelled her. wait is Barry the new Xenu???
do i get points for bringing it back to Xenu????..rather organically if i do say so myself!…also i feel the same way about the Power of The Bee Gees!!! TRY TO RESIST!!
Mitchell – just so you know – that last comment of yours was the 200th comment. What???
The image of your sister – Sandi – SANDI – “rocking out” to Barry is literally gorgeous. hahahahaha I love that you all just succumbed. I totally get it!
Xenu is more of a warlord, though … who uses his power for ill.
I am hoping that Barry is a more positive influence???
Even if, like Lisa says, it is a sickness??
it had been a very stressful holiday week..and she and i had escaped to shop together..which we love to do..the errand thing is our favorite…she secretly bought the CD at the cd shop and embarrassedly slipped it in and then the joy began…”you came and you gave without takin…”
Dude, I bought the Bee Gees “Number Ones” JUST LAST WEEK.
Barry. Bee Gees. Helen Reddy. All in my car RIGHT NOW.
What year is it?
Barry is Love. The universe is love. You do the math.
LISA..im ALL about the Helen Reddy greatest hits…I LOVE YOU!!!! When she sings Keep on Singing…i find Nirvana!
and “To Love Somebody” by the Bee Gees..is genius!
I’m a big “Tragedy” fan.
Helen brings it. I remember when “I Am Woman” came out I used to sing it at the top of my lungs every chance I got. I was all of what? 7?
Railing against the patriarchy since 1972, that’s me.
tragedy is awesome!”How deep is ur love”… anyone?? anyone??? Sheila do u own their gretest hits??? shall i bring a bunch of cd’s that u may like to import???
I always found it hilarious that three Aussie boys were singing about “Massachusetts.” Could they even *pronounce* Massachusetts before they sang that song?
I don’t have their greatest hits. Bring it! Bring the music you love … we’ll blast it from my laptop.
Helen Reddy, Bee Gees, and Barry Manilow! My neighbors will be like: “Hmmm. When will Sheila’s house guest be leaving???”
“but im still an embryo..with a long long way to go,until i make my brothers understand..oh yes i am wise..but its wisdom born of pain..yes ive paid the price but look how much ive gained..if i have to… i can do do anything..i am strong(strong)..i am invinscible(invinscible)i am Woman”..oh i miss my stack of ’45s!!!!!
What an anthem!! I so remember that song emanating from the open windows of various houses in our little neighborhood – on summer twilights. hahahaha
I also remember when she appeared on Sesame Street.
The Bee Gees rule, and I will accept no disagreements. They had such great voices, great arrangements, well-written songs… “Too Much Heaven,” “Nights on Broadway,” “I’ve Gotta Get a Message to You,” “Lonely Days.” Really, how many artists have the kind of variety and staying power they had? Take (to pull a name at random) the Lovin’ Spoonful. Great band, solid material, three years, bam-bam-bam-bam; then silence, until Sebastian resurfaces briefly with “Welcome Back.”
On that account, though, I think Billy Joel should get some credit as well. The man had his fastball from ’74-’83: Turnstiles, Piano Man, the Stranger, 52nd Street, Glass Houses, the Nylon Curtain, An Innocent Man… Hasn’t had a good album since, but a few of the songs still show what he was at his peak, as do some of his personal appearances. On the radio once I heard some Q/A session he did at a college in the 90’s where in between answers he’d perform, just his voice and his piano, and he still sounded terrific (he could always really play).
It was surprising what he still had left until the booze took hold; sad, really. Even if you’re not a fan you can’t just discount him.
Nightfly – I really appreciate your thoughts on Billy Joel. I always LOVED him – I grew up in that heyday that you mentioned, when he was the biggest thing ever … and then, like most everybody else, I drifted away. Didn’t care for his stuff anymore.
But now with the whole iPod thing (sorry to keep bringing it up!!) – I’ve taken out all these old Billy Joel CDs and uploaded just the songs I like – and I always feel a thrill when I hear them come up.
My favorite album of his was always Songs in the Attic – I think some of his best songs are on there – Summer, Highland Falls …
I mean, the LYRICS to that song!!! They still resonate with me, more and more as the years go by.
You’re right: he mustn’t be discounted!!
Sorry, just for the hell of it: Here are his lyrics to “Summer, Highland Falls”:
They say that these are not the best of times
But they’re the only times I’ve ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own
Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover’s eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It’s either sadness or euphoria
And so we’ll argue and we’ll compromise
And realize that nothing’s ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same
Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
Our reason co-exists with our insanity
So we choose between reality and madness
It’s either sadness or euphoria
How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don’t fulfill each other’s fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It’s either sadness or euphoria
Red – great, great song. (I think the original is on either Turnstiles or Cold Spring Harbor, I’d have to look.) I have Songs in the Attic on cassette and I agree, it’s wonderful.
Don’t be too envious, but “Summer, Highland Falls” was on that Q/A segment I heard on the radio. So was “Vienna Waits For You.” He explained the whole story behind the song – how he went to Vienna to see his father, who’d left the family when Billy was young, and how a lot of the lyrics came from what his father said in their conversations.
I think “Vienna Waits for you” might be one of his best songs. Beautiful.
For some reason, I scrolled to the bottom and read all these comments backwards!
It was …. deeply surreal.
Deeply.
Tracey – I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually made MORE sense that way. hahahaha