Santa Claus’ “Big black Cadillac”: Elvis wishes you a Merry Christmas

“‘Santa Claus is coming down your chimney tonight’ sounds absolutely filthy when Elvis sings it.” – Tom Petty

Yup.

There are a couple of funny things about “Santa Claus Is Back in Town,” co-written by Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Famers, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, who also wrote “Hound Dog,” “Kansas City,” “Jailhouse Rock,” “Young Blood,” “Don’t,” “Stand By Me,” “Searchin'” …

Elvis’ 1st Christmas album came out in October, 1957. It is, to this day, the best-selling Christmas album in the United States and still one of the best-selling albums of all time.

The songs are a mixed bag: a couple of gospel tunes (already recorded and released by Elvis), a bunch of traditional Christmas songs (“White Christmas,” “Here Comes Santa Claus” “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”), a new Christmas song and future Christmas classic called “Blue Christmas” and then … the completely undomesticated “Santa Claus is Back in Town.” Before Tom Parker came down with the hammer, closing off avenues of communication, Elvis had asked Leiber and Stoller to write him up a Christmas song. I get frustrated when people who don’t know what they’re talking about say that Elvis was just some dummy, who was a tool of larger forces, with no “agency” (as the kids say today). No agency? NO AGENCY? (I feel like Paul Dooley in Breaking Away screaming over and over, “REFUND? REFUND? REFUND??”) Elvis had maybe the most agency of ANYONE, to dream up the life for himself he actually achieved. HE did that, everybody else was just along for the ride, and it was like hanging onto a rocket during blast off. Elvis loved hymns, loved Christmas, loved those old Christmas classics. But he wanted a strong start to his album. A start that connected this hymn-loving-gospel-loving man (true) with the sexy r&b guy (also true). And this was what Leiber and Stoller came up with.

By October, 1957, some of the controversy surrounded him had died down (thanks to his three appearances of the middle-brow Ed Sullivan Show in the autumn of 1956 and winter of 1957). But Elvis was still was a hugely controversial figure. You have to imagine yourself back into the era to get what was going on here. The Demon from the South comes out with a Christmas album, and to many many people (if you think like an uptight Northeastern Protestant-type person it makes sense) this in and of itself was an outrage. How dare this greaseball “co-opt” traditional Christmas carols, first of all, but then to have the GALL to sing RELIGIOUS Christmas songs – never mind the fact that Elvis had performed “Peace in the Valley” during one of his appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show, never mind how openly religious he was (in 1956 he was asked what was the worst part about being on the road so much. He replied, totally sincere: “I can’t go to church as much as I would like to no more.”). Elvis, the white trash sexpot who had somehow made all of the teenage girls in America lose their minds, singing Moms-apple-pie Christmas songs … it was seen as yet another example of the world coming to an end.

But the funniest part of all this is – and it’s funny in a much deeper and more subversive way – is that, yes – he sang many traditional songs on the album, and beautifully – songs nobody could really complain about – but he led off the album with “Santa Claus Is Back In Town”. This was the first track, and it’s one of the nastiest blues tracks in Elvis’ career. At one point, he actually cackles. He sounds evil and hot, like literally your worst nightmare (if you’re an uptight Northeastern Protestant-type parent) or your best dream (if you are the Tween daughter of an uptight Northeastern Protestant-type person). Elvis didn’t try to bury the song on the B-side, hoping to avoid controversy. No, the whole thing STARTS here, a powerfully destabilizing choice.

“Hang up your pretty stockings – turn off da light … Santa Claus is comin’ DOWN YOUR CHIIIIIIMNEY TONIGHT!”

I mean … that really IS the world coming to an end. Or A world, at any rate. As Lester Bangs put it in his famous obituary for Elvis: “Elvis kicked ‘How Much Is That Doggie in the Window’ out the window and replaced it with ‘Let’s fuck.’ The rest of us are still reeling from the impact.”

In addition, the song starts with a feint. It lulls you into complacency: there are some piano chords, there are the Jordannaires singing in beautiful harmony: “Christmaaaaas … ” (ding-dong) Christmaaaaasss” … (ding-dong) “Christmaaaaas … ”

and maybe you think you know where the song is going.

You don’t.