Susan Zakin, editor of the wonderful online magazine Journal of the Plague Year (definitely check them out), read something I wrote on Facebook about getting diagnosed bipolar and how this connects with Elvis (lol: everything connects with Elvis). The original post was to “commemorate” the 10-year anniversary of getting diagnosed. Susan read it and asked if she could publish it in the Journal. I said, of course, but let me please edit my rant! We edited it slightly for clarity, although you can hear the tone of the original. I decided to keep the all-caps words. Shouting is in the spirit of the piece, which just went up with the beautiful title: We Will Not Take Away Elvis.
Sheila
Big congrats!! How I of course remember that amazing piece very well!
I’ve been on a break from social media for a bit.
How I can hate social media with a passion. (stolen from Johnny Boy in Mean Streets when he says “I hate that feast with a passion.” ha! But we have todo it, or at least I do to get some work out there. But I realized I was missing somethings and one of those things were you so I’m so glad there is The Sheila Variations. With a lot of your writing I can laugh at the same time you are speaking of deadly serious things. For example the doctor comparing you standing there with your coat on to a wild stallion in his tiny office. So funny, and yet….And so visual I can really see it.
Also the kind of writing that actually helps people live with these troubles and how to deal with it.
Great writing, as always.
Hey!! I noticed your absence on social media – lol!! “we have to do it” – I know it’s so weird, right? I love seeing your work and hearing your words about your work but it makes total sense to take breaks. It’s a lot. and it’s changed so much. Like, I can’t even FIND my friends on social media now – the algorithim is against it. Regina: the wrong people are in charge of our world. They don’t WANT us to connect because they are all anti-social nerds/dorks and don’t understand people actually wanting to connect. I tiptoed back onto Twitter to promote some stuff – it’s been like 9 months since I’ve been on there and I was shocked at the change in mood and also just functionality.
ANYWAY. Thank you for commenting and reading as always.
I almost WISH there was footage of me in that office. I wonder if I’m even remembering it correctly – even though I know I remember saying all those things. But to be that openly rude … lol. I wish I could see it, just to confirm.
Sheila
“I’m not staying here pallie, so let’s make it quick.” hahaha!
But it’s so important for our creativity not to be messed with. We don’t know really where it comes from and someone like you who is so prolific you don’t want that messed with. But what a great doctor you found. It’s also interesting for us to hear that you see him every 6 months and this was one of the best things you did. And he did not take Elvis away!
Oh I’ll be back on social media. I do have to support my friends. I’m actually organizing things and not painting at the moment, but reading a lot! Thanks for noticing I wasn’t on there I don’t think anyone else did! lol.
// We don’t know really where it comes from //
exactly! and since I’m not basically a writer for hire – since I write pretty much only about what I’m interested in / love – I just didn’t want to calm down so much that it all goes away. I know now that that’s not REALLY how it works but I admit I do sometimes miss the days where I was on a ROLL and burned candle at both ends, etc. But he’s right – I am, overall, more productive because … I don’t lose months when the crash comes.
// Thanks for noticing I wasn’t on there I don’t think anyone else did! lol. //
However the algorithm works on Facebook I do seem to see all your posts with your beautiful artwork. I look forward to it. I love to see what you all are up to!
Last night I was having a fun conversation with an AI named Claude. I was sharing some thoughts I had on a book that really intrigued me and Claude was telling me where I could find some references to check on my crazy ideas. Anyway.
Then I came here and read about your essay getting published. Congratulations! I love that story. And that got me to thinking…
So I returned to Claude and asked him if he had any impressions of you. He said that, among other things, you had written a biography of Jimmy Stewart and a book of film criticism. When I pointed out to Claude that he was mistaken, he apologized. We then talked about what causes AIs to hallucinate (the term for AIs making up things). I returned to my first question of his impression of you. He remarked that he clearly knew nothing, based on my previous corrections. A humble AI, maybe there’s hope for us.
I thought I’d check and see what ChatGPT had to say. Here’s the response.
“Sheila O’Malley is recognized for her thoughtful and articulate approach to film criticism, often delving into the emotional and thematic aspects of movies. Her reviews are known for providing readers with a deeper understanding of the films she discusses.”
Keep rocking it! And again, congratulations.
Okay, what?? Claude? lol I don’t understand anything about this but I am flattered that Chat GPT thinks I am thoughtful and articulate!
Ha ha ha that’s hilarious!
Sheila, in my next Substack I’m planning on talking about you – it’s about people nerding out, a list of people who talk about shit they love. It’s going to be a series, I think, because my list keeps growing. BUT obviously you’re at the top of the list. :) Are you ok with that? Asking because while I don’t know the other people, the section about you will certainly be a bit more personal.
Mutecypher, are you ok with me quoting your AI research? I’ll credit you, obviously (as Mutecypher, or M., or your first name, let me know!)
I’m fine with being quoted. “mutecypher” is fine.
Lyrie – of course, I’d be flattered if you want to mention me!
It only took me 13 months.
I am so touched by what you wrote. I don’t even have the words. Just know how much I appreciate that you want to spend time here! Seriously: I know we all come to SPN with our different backstories and needs etc. but it’s kind of amazing that it’s been almost 10 years now – !!! – and we’re STILL talking about it.
Again: thank you so much for your very kind words!!
and WINDOW BOY. his legend has spread!
I’m not 100% happy with what I wrote (exhausted brain) but I’ve let shame paralyze me too much lately, so it might not be technically great, but at least I’ve managed to write SOME of the things I wanted to share. I just really didn’t want to embarrass you – but yes, your work, and the space you’ve created (and not just about SPN) matter a lot to me! I am so grateful!
And WINDOW BOY!! I try not to reply to EVERY post here, but when you went to Chicago recently and posted a picture of the house, I was like a fangirl, haha – THIS IS THE HOUSE WITH THE WINDOW BOY’S WINDOW. hahahaaaaa
Life is fucking weird.
(and thank you for reading)
I really appreciate what you said (and how you said it!) and I feel the same way – little did I know what would happen when I decided to start writing about Jensen’s schtick. I had no idea!!!
“Annoying cunts” flocked to this site, lol and I am so happy about it.
I can’t even remember why that one person was so mad at us. Was it a Destiel person?
I love that I saw that title and knew IMMEDIATELY which story it was – it’s one of my favourite, I love everything about it: then-you, now-you, Elvis and the respect that man had for all of it. Life would be boring without our obsessions. I don’t envy people who don’t love passionately.
// I don’t envy people who don’t love passionately. //
I know. It’s really hard to imagine life without my periodic obsessions. I love them! I WILL NOT GIVE THEM UP. (Uhm, nobody was asking you to, Sheila.)
ha ha, no but I can see why you thought that – when it’s part of a way of thinking that deviates from the norm, it’s impossible to know what will be left once you disentangle this whole mess, and it makes sense to want to hold on to the parts that we DO love – even if some of them manifest in really dysfunctional ways.