Jewel makes me feel duh-duh-dumb

Posted on December 21, 2004 by sheila

What … does this mean?

Alone
is a reminder
of how far
your acceptance
is from
understanding

I’m really asking. What the HELL is she talking about?

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12 Responses to Jewel makes me feel duh-duh-dumb

  1. peteb says:
    December 21, 2004 at 8:32 pm

    If you’re really asking..

    Why don’t you like my poetry?

  2. red says:
    December 21, 2004 at 8:34 pm

    Aha. Okay. I see what you’re saying, peteb. I guess my acceptance is too far from my understanding, huh?

  3. peteb says:
    December 21, 2004 at 8:39 pm

    She was, after all, a multi-platinum selling rawk star, Sheila… just like Bob Dylan.

    *ahem*

  4. Big Dan says:
    December 21, 2004 at 9:18 pm

    You know… acceptance and understanding.

    It’s a synchronized vibrations thing. Jewel obviously reads the wedding announcements.

  5. Big Dan says:
    December 21, 2004 at 9:22 pm

    The real question is how she chooses her line breaks. I suspect she originally wrote her poetry on toilet paper.

    Which is appropriate on so many levels.

  6. Bud says:
    December 21, 2004 at 9:25 pm

    Oh, Sheil, this one’s a no-brainer. The Alaskan Poetess Emeritush [sic] is using her bully pulpit to berate those whose hearts and minds are closed to, among other things, mimes, and are therefore, and in her view justifiably, alone with their prejudices.

    A little-known fact about Jewel — described in a draft version of her seminal work, “Me,” but deleted prior to publication — is that her worldview was in large part shaped by her witnessing the discrimination against her parents during their days as street mimes in Juneau.

    I hope this helps.

  7. Alex says:
    December 22, 2004 at 12:21 am

    Maybe she’s still working on this one. Like, maybe it’s not finished yet.

    Here, I’ll finish it for her:

    Alone
    is a reminder
    of how far
    your acceptance is from
    understanding
    exactly how
    alone you really are.
    Therefore,if you are
    Alone
    then you cannot
    understand
    nor accept
    your own alone-ness.
    Thus
    you are reminded
    constantly
    that you are
    Alone.
    You alone ass-wipe, loser, muther f*cker you.

    There. Better?

  8. curly mcdimple says:
    December 22, 2004 at 1:20 am

    Have you ever seen this? Kurt Loder corrects her after she mangles the language even further.

    Oh and if you think her poetry is bad, have you ever seen her dance? I saw her on one of those VH-1 Diva things and she was doing her damndest to shimmy. It was horrifying. But at the same time… HA HA! (read like Nelson from The Simpsons)

  10. Emily says:
    December 22, 2004 at 10:38 am

    Alex – hahahahaha

    OMG – I remember seeing that Jewel interview with Kurt Loder. She was totally pissed off, like “how dare you correct me!” I LOVE Kurt Loder for that. In fact, I’m putting him on my list.

  11. curly mcdimple says:
    December 22, 2004 at 11:33 am

    Yes, Kurt’s dealings with Jewel definitely got him back on my good side. I had doubts when I saw him doing the Macarena for an MTV News bit. I think my retinas are still scorched from the sight.

    Seeing Jewel grit her snaggled teeth was priceless.

  12. it comes in pints? says:
    January 13, 2005 at 4:03 pm

    Third Worst

    Here’s the masterpiece I created with the Vogon Poetry Generator, dedicated to Bill McCabe: See, see the dead sky Marvel at its big olive depths. Tell me, Bill do you Wonder why the hyena ignores you? Why its foobly stare…

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