Alex, Mitchell and I sat around in the living room, talking about Diane Keaton’s performance in Something’s Gotta Give. (I have discussed my own feelings about her work ad nauseum. And you know what? I could go on for even LONGER about it. But I will restrain myself. For now, anyway.) The three of us were all QUITE CLEAR in our convictions. (We’re all actors. We don’t feel embarrassed about how much we love all this stuff, and how long we talk about it. We take it seriously, we eat it up, and we do not censor ourselves. We aren’t constantly editing ourselves, like: “I know the Oscars are silly, but …” or “Who cares about a bunch of actors congratulating themselves, but …” This is the stuff we LIVE for. A bunch of actors congratulating themselves??? SIGN ME THE HELL UP, BABY. I never thought the Academy Awards show was too long. Even when I complained about how long it was – in those old days when there were the god-awful dance numbers – I wanted it go on forever.)
We were discussing, seriously, how wonderful Diane Keaton was in that movie. We discussed WHY she was so good. We discussed why we think it is, indeed, some of her best work. EVER. I would say it was the best performance given, by an actress, that year. We all agreed.
But Charlize Theron won for Monster. Which is not surprising. It was a break-out performance, it was also the TOPIC that got people’s attention … and also the fact that nobody was really prepared for what Theron actually pulled off in that part. She made us forget how beautiful she is. We all were in agreement on this. Theron was great, yes, yes. But … Keaton was better.
It’s not a huge secret that it is not the ACTOR who gets the Oscar. It is the ROLE ITSELF that gets the Oscar. You play a jibbering lunatic, while someone else quietly brings a normal everyday character to life … you’ll get the award. Play someone who’s mentally deficient, insane, or only has 3 fingers … you’ll get the award. Charlize Theron played a murderous freak of nature. She transformed her loveliness into something grotesque. (And quite quite well, I might add. I thought she was terrific.) But Diane Keaton … the way Mitchell put it (and we’re now about 2 hours into our group discussion about the Oscars) was: “I think Diane Keaton deserved the Oscar because it is literally impossible for me to imagine ANYONE ELSE playing that part.”
And finally I said, flatly, “Yeah, well, you have to play a limping retarded Inuit in order to get any recognition from the Academy.”
Sheila.. I read an interview with the underrated Kevin Bacon today in which he called the Oscars “the bitter season”, “facetiously” he says. “Year after year I’ve seen this season come and go – this club of which I am not a member.”
Maybe I should write a screenplay where he plays a limping retarded Inuit. He’d be sure to win then. He’s a great actor. But his acting is subtler than that which reaches the notice of the Academy.
For example – I thought Russell Crowe’s work in The Insider was as good as he had ever been (excepting, perhaps, the unbeLIEVable Romper Stomper) … but it definitely wasn’t a ‘flashy’ enough role. But he WAS that guy. TERRIFIC work. A complete transformation, but not in a showy way.
I’m not sure even with that role they’d give him an Oscar.. but it might be worth a shot. Oh and he’s still pissed that “the studio” took him off the Mystic River poster.
I haven’t caught The Insider yet (The List).. Romper I saw quite a while back but, as I recall, Crowe was particularly believable in it..
On a lighter note, though, Nora has arrived and I may get a chance to watch it this weekend.
Yeah!! Some very good stuff in it, very good scenes, although – on the whole – i don’t think the movie works.
Romper Stomper was incredible. I thought he WAS a skinhead based on that performance … until I saw him in another little New Zealand movie called The Sum of Us – where he plays a sweet shy gay kid … and then realized: Holy crap, that actor is awesome. Who is that guy???
Little did I know he would soon become the biggest feckin’ star in Hollywood.
Just a small note about Nora, Pete …
I think my favorite sections are:
— when they write the famous “dirty letters” to each other. The 1917 version of phone sex. Very funny, very moving.
— when they’re caught out in a rainstorm in Trieste, and it thunders, and Joyce (as you probably know) was terrified of storms. She makes him come out in it. They have just come from a pub when someone has been rude to her, and Joyce let it slide. They run through the rain, and then she pushes him up against the wall and says (she’s fantastic): “If someone hurt you … and I was there … I would hurt them back so hard, I’m tellin’ ya …” Then she leaves him standing there in the rain. I don’t know why – think that’s my favorite part in the movie.
— I also love their beginning romance. Walking in silence through the streets of Dublin.
Something bad happened for me with the Oscars once “Shakespeare in Love” outbid “Saving Private Ryan” in their trade ad war for best picture. On a deeper than normal level, that didn’t work for me.
Plus with all the politics, I have to avoid anything that I know going in will make me want to kill my television.
I used to want to reach through and shoot Debbie Allen, when she was beaming with pride over her horrible dance numbers. So I hear what you’re saying.
Again, I don’t care who wins, really, although I have a ton of opinions. I just like watching the whole thing unfold.
Bill Murray got ROBBED last year, and that’s all I’m sayin’!!
And popskull? Pretty much everything for me happens on a “deeper than normal” level. Sadly.
Could you please write a screenplay for me where I play a 4 fingered Laotian hotdog stand owner, who also has OCD and can only speak in monosyllabic words? Thanks. I’ll win an Oscar. I know I will.
Yeah, Sheila – “I don’t care who wins”.. Right.
I with you on Crowe, though, he is a terrific actor.. the biggest feckin’ star in Hollywood.. and what did he do – Commander of the Sea..
and now I’m willing the weekend on.
(BTW for that screenplay.. add Tourret’s[sp?])
red, I’m going to get to work on that script. You’ll be brilliant.
And make sure you put in a FANTASY sequence … where I can show off how beautiful I REALLY am … only to make my transformation even MORE dramatic.
I can feel the Academy Award in my 4-fingered hand now …
…and no offense to all the limping retarded Inuit in the O’Malley readership.
You’re turning up to accept the award in character!?! With the Tourret’s!?! I’m watching that.
Member Dustin Hoffman accepting for Rainman? He was still in character, rocking and repeating himself. It was very weird.
Actually, peteb, no, my character will not have (FUCK YOU, ASSWIPE) Tourettes.
Ahh.. there goes the award..
and Dustin.. yes, weird is right, and good. I saw him on Graham Norton’s UK show – with Tourettes.
Sheila – when you thank me in your Oscar speech, do you think you could refer to me as “The Mighty Dame Emily”? Thanks.
heh heh heh
Imagine all the kids across the country who gave Oscar acceptance speeches into the bathroom mirror using their hairbrush for a microphone – or was I the only geek who did that?
Although I no longer do that, every once in awhile I pine for a moment when (1) I’m recognized publicly for the fabulous creature that I am and (2) I get to thank all the “littul peepul” for their vague but significant contributions to my amazingness. Alas, I know of no organization called The Academy of Former Government Executive Assistants – and there’s no such thing as a AFGIE, the little golden statuette of an nondescript clerical type glued to a monitor and keyboard.
But now my fantasies rest with Mr. James Lipton, at your alma mater, Red, flipping a huge pile of blue cards and asking me questions such as, “When you began your career with the federal government, is it true that when you were fingerprinted in the courthouse lock-up, one of the prisoners came onto you?” Blushing prettily (kinda like Renee Zellweger), I’d whisper, “Yes.” Chuckles all around, and a few sniffs from the back . . . sigh. And what would God say as he opened the pearly gates to me? “Glad you made it – there’s a press release on your desk that needs to get out by Noon.”
Paul Giamatti got robbed this year! Big time…Sheila thanks for valisting our mutual obsessions…its to fun to vote in the SAG awards…im all about Jamie Foxx!
I’m trying to make the ultimate Oscar winner for you, Sheila. Except instead of having lost a finger, you’ve lost your entire body in a tragic accident. So you’re a head. A retarded Inuit head. That overcomes adversity. It’s a shoo-in. (The only problem is with recognizability. “I didn’t recognize you, with a body attached. I really thought you were just a head.”)