Well, folks, it blows. It just didn’t have the overwhelming sense of menace that the first one had, and it was pretty dumb. It just doesn’t work. The first scene is bad: it’s the same setup as the first scene in “The Ring” but it just doesn’t … work, man, it doesn’t work. In “The Ring” that first scene is terrifying, but … you don’t know WHY. It just has this feeling of dread hanging over it. In “The Ring 2” I had a couple thoughts: First of all, you know what’s coming. You know there’s gonna be some freaky-ass video tape, and someone’s gonna die, and there’s a creepy chick down the well. But second of all: the actor in that scene was awful. He could barely say his lines in any way that sounds convincing. Of course, he was given TERRIBLE lines that even John Gielgud might have struggled to make sound real: “Have you ever seen a movie that’s so scary that all you want to do is show it to someone else?”
A better actor might have at least made it sound SOMEwhat real. This kid was not up to the task.
There was one scene which was supposed to be reaalllllllllllly scary … like you were supposed to be glued to your seat, frozen in horror because of the implications … and … well, let’s just say that it has to do with a herd of elk? Antelope? Moose-like creatures? Who the hell knows. If you see it, wait for the elk scene. And then have yourself a good laugh.
It was supposed to be terrifying. Curly laughed – out loud – throughout the entire scene. Probably not the reaction the filmmakers were going for. There was one particular moment during the elk scene which was obviously supposed to be devastatingly frightening … and … it just WASN’T. We LAUGHED. We all laughed.
Now on the flipside, Curly and I pretty much watched the entire movie in what my friend Ann Marie calls “diamond vision”. We sat hunched down in our seats, hands over our eyes, peering through the little spaces between our fingers. The SECOND the movie began, Curly got into diamond-vision mode. Nothing scary had even happened yet.
So sure, you had some scary effects. The chick-in-the-well is, indeed, horrifying, and I truly hope that I never meet her in person. I swear to God if I walked into my apartment and saw her in the corner scratching on my wall, I would have a nervous breakdown. There were some moments in bathtubs where she appeared which, you know, whatever, were scary. But all in all, it was du-huh-huh-umb.
A couple thoughts:
— You are terrified that your son is possessed by some crazy chick from the bottom of the well. Nobody believes you. Your son is taken away from you. You are filled with terror about “her”. You go out to where she used to live, to find clues. “She” is on the loose. So what do you do? Naturally you go down into a cobwebby terrifying-looking basement, BY YOURSELF, even though Gary Cole is just upstairs, looking for clues. BY YOURSELF. Sure. Makes perfect sense.
— Additionally, your son has hypothermia. Nobody knows why. He has had encounters with terrifying-well-chick. He knows quite well the horror she can wreak. He is a little boy and he now has dark bags under his eyes. He has nightmares. It’s all about water. So what do you do to help his body-temperature rise when he is really ill? Sure, you PUT HIM IN A BATHTUB, and then … WHILE HE IS IN THE TUB … you leave him in the custody of a friend, so that you can run home “to get some things”. Of course, well-chick comes out of the damn drain, and possesses her son instantly. People in horror movies just don’t got no sense.
— I must return to the ridiculous humor of the “elk scene”. Laughter rippled through the movie theatre. And afterwards, when we discussed it briefly, we still didn’t know what it all meant. “So … with the elks … were they … like later when she saw the antlers in the basement … did that mean that … were they looking for revenge? Oh fuck it, it made no sense.”
— Sissy Spacek has a great cameo. She rocks.
But all in all, the movie is pretty much terrifically bad.
Well.. at last it got a laugh. It didn’t seem like a very good idea for Nakata to go back to that one..
Hmmm.. after a little checking, it turns out that Nakata had already directed a sequel to Ringu – Ringu 2, heh heh, back in 1999.. although he seems to have co-written that one..
I’ll put it at the end of The List.. and maybe, one day, eventually, I’ll get around to watching it. And I’ll keep an eye out for the elk scene.
Gary Cole? In a horror movie? Not to question the guy’s skill or anything, but I’m so used to him doing such great comedy, just looking at the guy makes me laugh.
Office Space: “We’re gonna need you to come in and work this weekend, mkay?”
Gary Cole has a glorified cameo in this movie – really only 5 or 6 lines. Weird. He plays a happy smiley real-estate agent hosting an open house. But yeah, it was indeed weird to see him.
What a waste of the well chick. She should talk to her agent – frankly she needs her own movie.
Yeah, well-chick just didn’t have the fear-impact she did in the first one. BUT: there’s a scene where you see wWell-chick climbing up out of the well – moving really quickly – and that was pretty damn awfully scary, I have to say. I clutched at Curly’s arm compulsively, the 2 of us shuddering with diamond-vision.
thoughts on the ring two
In the second installment of our Deliberately Bad Film Festival, Sheila, Jess, Linus and I went to see The Ring Two. Before any of you film snobs remind us of the bad reviews this film received, let me just say, YEAH, WE KNOW.
The way she moves is very very creepy. I don’t know why, it just is.
Her climbing up out of the well was particularly horrifying. Like a wet drowned huge “s”, and that’s all I’m feckin’ gonna say.
Terrible, terrible movie. I tried to be charitable about it, and it didn’t work.
Sissy Spacek does have a great cameo, but I was disturbed to find that she looks just like Michael Jackson. Or rather, Michael Jackson looks like Sissy Spacek, except Sissy doesn’t look in general like a special effect gone deeply wrong.
The black hair was very odd with Sissy’s complexion. And Michael Jackson’s nose has, you are right, morphed into something that looks like Sissy’s natural nose. Good call.
How ’bout those elks, huh? I thought it especially amusing when they galloped.
You know, I kind of dug the elks. I’ll absolutely agree that it was very silly, and I assume that Samara’s elky influence is due to elks being horsish at a few removes (that didn’t make much sense, but I guess that was what they were after). But it was more imaginative than most of the rest of the drek that went on.
They were certainly lovingly rendered. When the first one went rampant it was kind of scary, wasn’t it? The second was interesting too. The rest of the herd, not so much. But at the end of that scene when she drives away the CGI was awfully good.
Awright, maybe it was more silly than anything else.
Linus … I guess. I don’t know … when they all stood around the car I found it more amusing than menacing.
And when they went flying through the air … I couldn’t help but laugh. Even though there was a kind of jolting-fear about it.
Weren’t a couple of them being dragged by the car at one point? It was just TOO much for me to handle. I had a similar inappropriate giggle fit during Jurassic Park 2 when those tiny dinosaurs at the beginning started chomping on the wee girl. I’m a sick fuck.
my bro and sis call those moments “diamond vision”…it started when we were little watching Gilligan or Mr Furley doing something painfully dumb.
hahaha
“Painfully dumb” as well as “terrifying horror” require diamond vision.
i always do it when im embarassed for the entire situation..especially the characters
Alex, please. I am counting the days until RED EYE opens. I loves me some bad movies.