“There are forces at work …

… in the seventh floor water closet. And they disturb me.”

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146 Responses to “There are forces at work …

  1. red says:

    Isn’t that so “funny”?

  2. Alex says:

    The fact that someone actually spent TIME placing quotation marks around the word “Out” is utter insanity. Brillant post. But now, I’m pissed.

    WHY?

    WHY did that happen???

    Stuff like that makes me crazy.

  3. Lisa says:

    Ah, the random quotation marks. How they bedevil us.

    Why do they “exist”?

  4. peteb says:

    I am not poop-averse

    I seem to remember a previous thread here on poop-aversion at work..

    Too baffling, too odd, too mysterious. Indeed.

  5. red says:

    I don’t really care about the poop. But I am obsessed with the meaningless quotation marks.

  6. peteb says:

    I was kind of agreeing with the weirdness of the quotation marks.. while the reference to poop-aversion triggered a remembrance of the previous thread.. too many disassociated thoughts. heh.

  7. red says:

    Too many disassocaited “thoughts”, peteb?

    I know what “you” mean.

  8. Alex says:

    Sheila, what’s Bazoomba’s real name? You know, the freaky religious chick that uses random quotation marks at will?

    Hey. I had a thought. Maybe “Out” is in quotes because whoever did it actually meant “temporary”. As in “Out” of order NOW, but “In” order LATER.

  9. red says:

    Alex – I am shaking with laughter. Bazoomba!!!

    Check your email. I’ll tell you her real name there. Or – to write in her style:

    “I’ll” tell “you” her “real” name in the “e”mail.

    bazoomba …

    or what else did we call her – Bizubu.

  10. Emily says:

    Somewhat “off” topic, but for as long as I’ve lived in my apartment building, there’s been stickered letters at the entrance that are supposed to read “KEEP DOOR CLOSED” but a few of them have fallen off and it now reads “KEEP DOO CLOSE.”

    You think “they’d” have “fixed” it by “now.”

  11. red says:

    It’s almost like a strange emotional command, Emily. Like: Keep an eye on your kids at all times. Never let the sun go down on your anger. “Keep Doo Close.”

  12. Lisa says:

    Keep Doo Close?

    Scooby or Scrappy?

  13. Cullen says:

    Lisa! You beat me to it!

    But on that subject, wouldn’t Molly “Molly” Ringwald have made a good “Velma” once upon a “time”.

  14. red says:

    hahahaha

    Listen, peeps, just Keep Doo Close. That’s all you need to do to live a happy life.

  15. Emily says:

    I personally flush my doo and keep it as far away as possible.

  16. Cullen says:

    But Sheila, I can’t stand Mountain Doo.

  17. red says:

    Emily – but what would you do with your doo if the bathroom was “out” of order??

  18. peteb says:

    How “do” you do your doo if the bathroom is “out” of order?

  19. red says:

    peteb – are we psychic twins???

  20. Lisa says:

    Psychic twins: “activate”!

  21. Emily says:

    Put a “cork” in it.

  22. Alex says:

    “Form of…….A Fire Hydrant!”

    Hey Lisa,

    Why did one of the Twins always take the form of some kind of water? Weird, huh? What the hell kind of power is THAT?!

    Never got it.

  23. Just1Beth says:

    Now, one of you has to take a water form, and the other has to take an animal form.

  24. red says:

    I always found the “Form of … an Ice Bridge” choice highly compelling and very confusing. Why ice when you could have iron and steel???

  25. Lisa says:

    I don’t know, Alex. I always thought that was strange, mainly because how contained could Zan be? Wouldn’t “form of a. . .TIDAL WAVE” drown all the other Super Friends? And what would happen if someone accidently drank part of him?

    And why didn’t Gleek get to turn into anything?

  26. peteb says:

    Disassociated “thought”.. sea anemone armies

  27. red says:

    Anemones have armies?

    What??? Now I must know everything.

  28. Alex says:

    PeteB is my new hero.

  29. Alex says:

    Lisa

    Since I am an avid TV Freak, and am lucky enough to have Cartoon Network, I recently watched Superfriends.

    Zan turned into a huge ice sculpture, and was then melted by a big old Dragon. Then he was able to turn back into humself. I was so pissed. I thought, now wait a minute here. This makes no sense. I mean, how can he melt and then come back whole? Wouldn’t he be missing a “toe” or something?

    Take note of the quotation marks, please.

  30. red says:

    When the tide is out, the polyps are contracted and quiet. As the tide covers the colonies, “scouts” move out into the border to look for empty space to occupy. Larger, well-armed “warriors” inflate their stinging arms and swing them around. Towards the center of the colony, poorly armed “reproductive” anemones stay out of the fray and conduct the clone’s business of breeding.

    When anemones from opposing colonies come in contact, they usually fight. But after about 20 or 30 minutes of battle the clones settle down to a truce until the next high tide.

    I so want to see a nature special on this, and see a ‘clash’ occur in speeded-up photography.

  31. Emily says:

    I love it. Asking detailed technical questions about the super powers of the Wonder Twins.

    Only here, folks.

  32. Independent George says:

    You know what the weird part is? If they’d just put the quotes around the word, “order”, it would have sense in a weird metaphysical way.

  33. Alex says:

    “Speed up photography”

    You’re KILLING me!!!!!!

  34. red says:

    hahahaha

    “while on a darkling plain
    ignorant ANEMONE armies clash by night …
    on speeded-up photography …”

  35. peteb says:

    Armies that employ different tactics..

    Different colonies react differently to similar signals, explaining why different clones are organized into so many different kinds of armies.

    ..are there different General Anemones “too”???

  36. red says:

    Lisa:

    “And what would happen if someone accidently drank part of him?”

    Best. Question. Ever.

    I always wondered, in general, about turning yourself into anything that could melt or metamorphose. Isn’t that just asking for trouble?

  37. red says:

    Peteb – I so so SO want to see what a General Anemone looks like.

    Why am I picturing mirrored sunglasses and a beret, like Qaddafi?

  38. Independent George says:

    This discussion of the Zan’s water powers really makes it obvious how much it sucks to be Aquaman. He loses to the friggin’ Wonder Twins!

  39. Alex says:

    Sheila

    “Qaddafi”????

    Stop it. Right now.

  40. red says:

    hahahahahahahahahahaha

  41. Alex says:

    George

    That’s another thing I never got. Aquaman? I don’t get him at all. What’s the deal with him and riding the dolphins and stuff? I mean, HIM compared to like…SUPERMAN?

    Please.

  42. peteb says:

    Probably for the same “reason” I’m picturing one looking like George C Scott?

  43. red says:

    “Colonel Qaddafi, the tide is coming in. We await your orders.”

    “Listen, you asswipe anemones, you’ve got your arms that can sting, and you should know by now what to do with them! Go!”

  44. red says:

    Also – hahahaha with the “reason”.

  45. Alex says:

    You just wrote anenome dialogue.

    I officially hate you.

  46. Independent George says:

    I was thinking of Gen. Buck Turgidson from Dr. Strangelove, mimicking turning propeller blades with his many arms instead of the airplane wings. “Can they do it? Hell yes they can!”

    Alex – do you ever get the feeling that Aquaman was the Superfriend all the others picked on, but was just too dumb to realize it?

    “Aquaman – hurry! Trouble at the Aquarium!”

    “Really?!!”

    “No, not really.” (laughter)

    “Oh.” (sighs)

  47. Alex says:

    George

    BWA-ha-ha-ha-hahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

    Yeah, like, c’mon Aquaman. Get some powers! Wonder Woman could totally kick your a**!!! And seriously, the only thing she’s got going for her is that rope, and her bazoingas.

  48. red says:

    Or her Bazoombas.

  49. red says:

    Yeah, the invisible plane is worthless.

  50. Emily says:

    Yeah, what in the hell is the point of having an invisible plane if you are completely visible while riding in it?

  51. Alex says:

    Emily,

    I just laughed so hard I cackled.

    I mean…YEAH! So, the plane, and then, she’s riding in it, and then…..HUH??

    Also- how the heck does she always FIND it?

  52. red says:

    Dumb-ass invisible plane.

    Harry Potter has a CLOAK and it MAKES HIM INVISIBLE.

    Therefore: it has USE.

    But … er … just a plane? That is invisible? And yet you … in your leotard and small Wonder Woman tiara and go-go boots … are fully seen floating through the sky toward some crime scene?

  53. Alex says:

    Hey…….wait a minute you guys. Maybe it’s like:

    An “Invisible” Plane.

    Think about it.

  54. red says:

    hahahahahaha

    I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT!

  55. red says:

    Perhaps Aquaman assists Colonel Qaddafi (you know … the anemone leader … what?) in his various underwater battles.

  56. Independent George says:

    What happens if you forgot where you parked the invisible plane? Is there an alarm that she can signal from her keychain?

    On the other hand, never underestimate the power of great bazongas. She could have probably talked Lex Luthor into death row with those things.

  57. David says:

    i go away for an hour and miss the livliest intellectual discourse since the Algonquin Round Table folded its leaves…bless you Sheila and friends! Alex…you gonna call me or no???????-Mitchell

  58. red says:

    I wonder how often the word “bazoingas” came up at the Algonquin Round Table.

  59. Independent George says:

    Also- how the heck does she always FIND it?

    Damn, you beat me to it! Screw work – I’m obviously not refreshing this thread quickly enough.

  60. David says:

    almost “constantly”

  61. Lisa says:

    Yeah, the Invisible Plane never made sense, since you COULD SEE HER FLYING THE PLANE. But the Lasso of Truth? That was awesome. I wish I had one.

    And I read a book by some horror author (John Saul, maybe? or Clive Barker?) where people could “dissolve” and time travel and/or go to other planets, except sometimes when they put themselves back together, stuff got mixed in. I remember once part where the guy had a cockroach coming out of his skull. That would suck.

  62. Stevie says:

    How does an anemone general identify an enemy?

    Abbott: “Are you an enemy?”
    Costello: “No, I’m an anemone.”
    Abbott: “That’s what I asked!”
    Costello: “I’m not an enemy. I’m an anemone.”
    Abbott: “I don’t know.”
    Costello: “Third base.”

  63. red says:

    stevie – you must marry me.

  64. Independent George says:

    I’d rather have an enemy in front of me than a frontal anenome.

  65. Alex says:

    Never, never, EVER doubt the power of the Bazoingas. I mean, if Superman’s poopng out, Wonder Woman can point those things in his direction, and believe me, he’ll get the shite done.

    Why didn’t Superman and Wonder Woman ever get together? I mean, how cool would that have been. They could have super kids who cou;d crash through walls, fly, and swing ropes.

    And there would be NO “invisible” planes.

    Kid: Mom. I’m goin’ out.”

    WW: “Take the plane, sweetie!

    Kid: I’m NOT taking that plane, Mom.”

    WW: I said, take the plane please. It’s invisible.

    Kid: Mom. It’s like, SOOO not invisible.

  66. Alex says:

    Dear George,

    I love you

    Alexandra

  67. Independent George says:

    Didn’t Capelle once do a bit where WW had a criminal tied up with the lasso of truth, and all he can talk about is what great bazoingas she’s got?

    Hey, Red, am I allowed to tell a dirty joke involving Wonder Woman and Superman?

  68. Independent George says:

    Er, that’s “Chapelle”, not “Capelle”.

  69. red says:

    hahahaahahaha Poor Wonder Woman. She gets no respect.

    Well, listen babe, if maybe you wore more than just a bathing suit and go-go boots … you’d get more respect as a legitimate superheroine.

    And lose the plane.

    Yes. Tell the joke, please.

  70. Lisa says:

    I think they just made the plane invisible so that Superman could look up WW’s skirt.

    But what Alex described is pretty much the plot of Sky High, starring Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston (whose voice I CANNOT stand, btw), along with Lynda Carter as Principal Powers.

    And yes, I’ve seen it.

  71. David says:

    Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed…phone rings..Miss Piggy picks up…”Can’t talk right now, i got a frog in my throat.”…go ahead George…

  72. Alex says:

    “Sky High”???

    What? Huh?? What?

    Please explain Lisa. Please?

  73. red says:

    Lisa –

    It actually looks pretty cute.

    Kelly Preston is a lunatic Scientologist. And I mean that sincerely – have you ever seen her in interviews start talking about it?? Cuckoo!!

  74. Emily says:

    Did you ever notice on the old TV series where Lynda Carter’s boots had high heels, except when she was running? I wonder if they were magic special boots where the heels automatically imploded whenever she had to run?

  75. red says:

    Alex – Sky HIgh is out in movie theatres right now, I believe. It’s about a superhero school for kids … right, Lisa?

  76. Emily says:

    How sweet is it that Kurt Russell is *still* starring in Disney movies?

  77. red says:

    emily – i definitely need boots like that.

  78. Alex says:

    OOOhhhh. Yeah. Okay, I’ve seen previews for that.

    I’d go, but every time I see Kelly Preston, I want to punch her in the throat.

  79. Independent George says:

    Ok, so Superman and Jimmy Olson are walking through the park when they spot Wonder Woman lying on her back, naked in the grass. They both sneak into the bushes to stare, and finally Superman says, “I can’t take it any more. I need some of that.”

    Jimmy says, “Superman, you can’t do that. She’s Wonder Woman!”

    Superman says, “I’ll use my super speed. She won’t be able to see me, and I’ll be gone before she knows it.”

    Jimmy tries to interject, but Superman disappears in a flash before he can get say a syllable. Just as quick, Superman returns, his face flushed.

    “Hurry up, let’s get out of here”, Superman says, picks up Jimmy, and hurries off back to the Fortress of Solitude.

    “What was that?” Wonder Woman asks aloud?

    “I don’t know, but my ass really hurts,” says the Invisible Man.

  80. Independent George says:

    By the way, I just wanted you all to know that if I get fired for posting this at work, it was worth it.

  81. red says:

    alex – in the throat????? I am howling with laughter …

  82. Lisa says:

    We really need IM.

    Sky High is the newest live-action Disney movie. The premise is that Kurt and Kelly are the world’s greatest superheroes and their son, played by the boy who used to play Jack’s son on Will & Grace, is starting his freshman year at Sky High, the high-school for kids of superheroes, and he’s afraid he doesn’t have any powers.

    The kids are divided into one of two groups, Heroes or Sidekicks (Dave Foley plays the sidekick teacher who used to be Kurt Russell’s sidekick), and the son gets stuck in Sidekicks, much to his parents’s chagrin.

    There’s a plot to blow up the school, the son falls in love with a senior and ignores his girl friend who secretly loves him, there’s a “bad boy” who hates the son because Kurt Russell killed HIS dad — you know, normal high school stuff.

    It’s a pretty good movie.

  83. red says:

    George – hahahahaha

    I actually have heard that one, come to think of it.

  84. Lisa says:

    “Parents’s”? God. That’s as bad as “out”.

    Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend.

  85. red says:

    I love Kurt Russell. I love that, too, Emily – the Disney connection!

  86. red says:

    No, Lisa. Preview is your “friend”.

  87. Lisa says:

    When Kelly Preston was being screwed by Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire and she says, “Never stop f*cking me!” I wanted to say, “He won’t if you’d just shut the hell up.”

    I hate her voice — she sounds like she has a mouth full of marbles — almost as much as I hate Mira Sorvino’s. And that’s a LOT.

  88. Barry says:

    Ok, let’s recap:

    From strange toilet sign to odd quote occurances to Red’s strange friend Bazoomba to Scooby Doo to Wonder Twins to weird super powers to anenome enemies to Aquaman to Qadafi to Wonder Woman’s invisible plane to Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston hateage to a dirty joke.

    How cool is that?

  89. Emily says:

    Dragging this thread even further off topic, if I were about fifteen years old, I’d be in *love* with that kid who played Jack’s son on “Will & Grace.”

  90. red says:

    I have lost touch with that show – even though I watched it religiously a couple years ago.

    What does he look like? Lance Kerwin, or …

  91. Lisa says:

    He is very cute, Emily. He’s a little chunkier and his hair is longer now, but still v v hot.

    He’s the James Kerwin of his day.

  92. Lisa says:

    ACK!

    JAMES KERWIN?

    God, what a brain fart. ::hangs head in shame::

  93. Alex says:

    OMAGOD Emily! I LOOOOVE him!

  94. Lisa says:

    Ok, I’m leaving work now, so this thread should be 150+ posts by the time I get back tomorrow morning, right? :)

    Y’all have fun and I’ll see you bright and early in the AM!

  95. red says:

    It is an understandable mistake, Lisa.

    Lance Kerwin = James at 15.

    So it all makes sense.

  96. Alex says:

    Sheila, did you just mention Lance Kerwin? WTF?

    I just saw Quinn Cummings on a ” Where Are They Now” thingy. She sells knitting products or something.

  97. Alex says:

    I need a ham sandwich on white bread with mayonaise right now. And I don’t know why.

  98. peteb says:

    In re: Kelly Preston

    Cuckoo!! Indeed.

    Thinking “about” it.. No, I really am!!

    The anemone armies do bring a new dimension to the idea of Clone Wars.

    Did George know? [NB Not Independent George]

  99. red says:

    Lance Kerwin now lives at a ranch which is called:

    U-Turn for Christ!

    I’m not kidding. Lance Kerwin (aka James at 15, aka the actor I LOVED when I was 11) is now perpetually doing U-Turns for Christ out in the desert.

  100. Independent George says:

    Alex – change the mayo to mustard, and grill it with swiss cheese, and I’m right with you.

  101. Independent George says:

    Anemones couldn’t possibly have worse aim than the storm troopers – and they don’t even have eyes.

  102. red says:

    peteb –

    I swear, I need to see some speeded-up photography of an anemone war and I need it now!!

  103. peteb says:

    Sheila

    I particularly want to “see” the scouts they send out ahead of the main battle.

  104. Alex says:

    Sheila

    Sweet…………………..Christ.

  105. red says:

    Are you doing a U-turn, though, as you write that?

  106. Independent George says:

    Wait, I’m confused. Does a U-turn for Christ mean he’s converted to Judaism?

  107. Alex says:

    Okay. Let’s decifer this, shall we?

    What the hell does U Turn For Christ MEAN????

  108. Alex says:

    …..or is it:

    U Turn for “Christ”?

  109. Ron says:

    Didn’t the old Jack Kirby series “The New Gods” throw quotation marks around “words” seemingly at “random?”

    I may be not be poop-adverse, but I am not fecally inclined….

    I used to work in a sewage treatment plant. Our slogan: “Your shit is our bread and butter.”

    Didn’t Aquaman get the lead in that TV show about actors called “Entourage?” Starring the one known as “The Piven?”

    The Piven and Sandy Bullock — they could do this generations His Girl Friday…With Brendan Fraser as “Ralph Bellamy.”

  110. peteb says:

    “You” Turn for Christ?

    I’m heading right over “the” cliff.

  111. Independent George says:

    Hey, does anybody else watch “Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-Law”? In one episode, Zan admits under oath that he changed into hot water when Wonder Woman was taking a bath. Clearly, the Adult Swim people are targeting the readers of this blog.

    I still think that a U-turn for Christ means you’re turning away from Christ and going back to where you were originally coming from. So, logically, that means you’ve converted to Judaism.

  112. Emily says:

    Would a U-turn from Christianity technically be Satanism?

    Oooo, now the discussion turns theological. We rule.

  113. Doug Sundseth says:

    Red: “Anemones have armies?

    “What??? Now I must know everything.”

    Of course anemones have armies, it’s the leggies they don’t have.

  114. Alex says:

    But doesn’t it depend on where you’ve started? I mean, what if, in fact, you STARTED at Christ? Then you went away, and had to make a U Turn to come BACK to him?

    But see, here’s the problem, if he’s only targeting people who’ve lost their faith, then he’s not able to save most of the world, is he? What about the people who’ve never even been to Christ? Or his house, or wherever he lives in order for you to take that u turn……from.

    What about them? I ask you.

  115. peteb says:

    Pshaw… You Turn for Christ.

    I’m teetering along on my own path.

  116. Alex says:

    PeteB

    WA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!

  117. Independent George says:

    Best. Hijack. Ever.

  118. red says:

    Doug – good one!!

  119. red says:

    Okay everyone, sing with me:

    “I’ve been to Paradise
    But I’ve never been to Christ…”

  120. red says:

    Okay. I am clearly insane.

    It’s where people go to get off drugs (that’s the U-turn part) and get to Christ.

    So … they’re moving along the path to being a meth whore … and then they do a U-turn and they’re a Christian.

  121. red says:

    So it looks like Lane Kerwin had a drug problem.

    James at 15 had a drug problem????? Nooooo!

  122. red says:

    Okay, people. I love how Ron just shows up, out of the blue, and leaps right in. Not only that, but he says the immortal phrase:

    “I am not fecally inclined”.

    Genius!

  123. peteb says:

    Hey! What’s this about drugs?.. I’m clear. Dammit!!.. foetally inclined, perhaps.. but clear.

  124. Mark says:

    Dave Chappelle also did a bit on Aquaman and what the hell would you talk to fish about:
    “Hello, Aquaman!”
    “Hello, fish. Any crime to report?”
    “Hello, Aquaman!”

    When I was a kid, whenever Zan would “Form of a bucket of water!” I would shout “Shape of a thirsty gorilla!” My parents hated it when I watched Superfriends.

  125. red says:

    Mark – hahahahahaha “Hello, Aquaman!”

  126. Cullen says:

    Sheila, not only did Ron make an amazing comment but he mentioned an amazing pop-culture icon Jack Kirby! Way to go Ron!

  127. Ron says:

    Red: “Anemones have armies?

    “What??? Now I must know everything.”

    Of course anemones have armies, it’s the leggies they don’t have.”

    But Doug they must to be having the leggies, as to the otherwise how would Red be playing the footsies with them?

    And if you’ve ever played footsie with an anemone, you know how painful that can be!

    Gosh, Red, thanks for the compliments! You just make me scratch me intercostal clavicle in wonderment, (or is that “wondermint”?) in these comment threads…

  128. DBW says:

    My Lord. Remind me again as to the “limitations” of your comment policy.

  129. red says:

    Read Part 2 again. About when comment hijacking is okay. This is a classic example.

    If some asshole had said, in the middle of those hundred comments, “That sign on the bathroom door is exactly what is wrong with the left’s education policy and our entire culture is depraved and we’re all going to hell because of the Clintons” – I would have bitch-slapped that person to kingdom come.

    You wanna join the conversation or just stand back and be above it?

  130. Mike says:

    You all need to visit Seanbaby’s Superfriends Page, where most of the jokes you’ll ever see or read about the Superfriends are stolen from.

    For example, the Chapelle joke.

  131. red says:

    Stolen, huh? What – are you the Joke Police?

    Jokes are meant to be passed on, re-told. Also – everyone here appears to be using proper attribution, footnoting every joke they re-tell.

    But thanks for the link, anyway.

  132. Dave J says:

    I love you all more than I can possibly say, and deeply regret not having been part of this thread until now.

    As a bit of a comic books geek, I have to say I always thought Superfriends sucked. But it sucked nowhere near as much as Aquaman. ;-)

  133. DBW says:

    Hey, you seem to be taking me way to damn seriously. I thought this comment stream was hilarious and entertaining–especially enjoyed Stevie’s Abbott & Costello riff, and the whole Wonder Woman and her invisible plane thing. Apparently, I have lost the ability to be facetious. I was just recognizing that you have a wonderful “lack” of limitations in your comments. As for my earlier comments about your “policy” precluding my participation, I was just making fun of my own urge to make everything political in nature–an urge that you have noticed, and disliked, in the past. Sorry if my dry attempts at humor came across as criticism. BTW, Aquaman was probably that kid in the neighborhood we all knew as kids. You know the one I mean–his house always smelled funny, his mother made really bland, horrible sandwiches for lunch, their lawn always needed mowing, he had some great-aunt or some other strange old person living with them in the house, and his family didn’t “believe” in Halloween.

  134. red says:

    I only used that tone with you because you sulked (just a leeeeeetle bit) in the comments of that original post – and you were the only one to do so.

    From now on, I promise. I will never take you seriously.:)

    Aquaman. What a loser.

  135. dorkafork says:

    Some of the “scouts” go behind anemone lines.

    My favorite Chapelle Wonder Woman joke was about the invisible plane and the outfit she wore. “Look! What’s that in the sky? It looks like… a flying whore!”

  136. Alex says:

    I am commenting not because I have anything to say, but because the comments are now at 141, and I hate odd numbers.

    I hate them “all”.

  137. Barry says:

    I can’t believe nobody’s given any love to Wendy, Marvin and Wonderdog – the forgotten superheroes sidekicks…

    I mean, how pathetic were they? Apparently orphaned, being raised by four men and one woman – Marvin forced to wear a cheesy green cape that’s too small for him just when he’s starting to hit puberty. I wonder what happened to them after they all got tossed out of the Hall of Justice to make room for the new “purple alien kids”.

    That’s pretty cruel isn’t it? “Sorry guys, we’ve got some sidekicks with real superpowers now…” Robin must’ve been feeling a little nervous, too.

    Maybe their parents came back and it was finally discovered they were runaways from a juvenile mental institution somewhere in Milwaukee…

  138. Mike says:

    I am the joke police, and you’re all under arrest.

    None of the best jokes I ever told were all ripped off. My “Seven Things You Can’t Say on Television” bit was completely different from George Carlin’s “Seven Things You Can’t Say on Television” bit!

    Bonus points for where I stole that joke from.

    My vote for the stupidest Superfriend was actually The Flash, because he was so inane that they couldn’t remember what color he was (red, orange, yellow?) or what his powers were (speed? vibrating? flying?).

    Wendy, Marvin and Superdog aren’t mentioned because they aren’t funny. They’re… they’re just sad. When you suck so bad that you’re written out of the Superfriends, it’s best just to stay out of the limelight.

  139. Doug Sundseth says:

    “…because he was so inane that they couldn’t remember what color he was (red, orange, yellow?)…”

    Clearly, you don’t understand the Doppler effect. His costume was obviously orange, shifting to red when he was moving away and yellow when he was moving toward the viewer. If it appeared that he was standing still with a different-colored costume, that is just a persistence-of-vision effect.

    ps. If I understand the comments policy aright, obsessive comments about comic-book characters aren’t ruled out. (If I misread it, who would blame me?)

    pps. This is about where I would jump in with, “I would”, but now if you do, you’ll just look sad.

    ppps. I must say that it pains me to take the comment counter off of 12 squared. 29*5 just isn’t as interesting. Still, some things are just too important to leave unaddressed.

    pppps. No, actually I’m not a comics geek; but I can rationalize nearly anything.

    ppppps. Well, not Tom Cruise. I did say “nearly”.

  140. Dave J says:

    “ps. If I understand the comments policy aright, obsessive comments about comic-book characters aren’t ruled out.”

    Then I’ll add that the Flash is actually one of the iconic characters of the Golden Age of Comics–alongside Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern–and his coming off so badly is just additional proof that Superfriends sucked.

    But not as bad as Aquaman. ;-)

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