I literally thought I would die.
There were literally 5 million people in line at the bank.
I use the word “literally” when I mean “figuratively” all. the. time. It drives some people nuts and I have gotten condescending comments about it. I think it’s FUNNY to use “literally” when I mean “figuratively”. I also think it’s FUNNY to be hyperbolic. I think it’s way funnier to say “There were 5 million people in line at the bank” rather than “There were 15 people in line at the bank but it FELT like 5 million.” Sheesh, this seems self-evident but apparently not. I think the people who bitch and moan about incorrect usage of “literally” do not put a high premium on humor. They would rather be accurate. Yawn.
Alex had the same experience recently. She wrote a wonderful post, and some jag-off didn’t even comment on the post, just said: “One of my pet peeves is when people use ‘literally’ when they mean ‘figuratively’.” Hey, thanks for sharing, bozo.
To those people who make comments like that: How on earth do you think that this:
My headache was so bad that my eyeballs were figuratively on fire.
is preferable to this:
My headache was so bad that my eyeballs were literally on fire.
Because suddenly you get an image in your head of some poor sap with a conflagration in the eyeballs, and it is, in general, rather amusing.
So imagine my delight and glee when I read this marvelous piece about the long and storied history of writers using the word “literally” when they mean “figuratively”.
When I realized what great historical company I have been keeping all this time, my heart took wing. Literally.
Well, we all knew it was going to happen eventually. I mean, I’ve only been reading a month and I know your heart has been taking wing, figuratively, for so long, it was bound to, literally.
I just hope you get it back.
I do that too! Literally 20,000 times a day.
hahahahahaha
praygirl – yeah, really. I hope it comes back, too.
I also hope that my eyeballs never burst into flames, because that would suck.
If I’m so literal that I read, “There were literally five million people in line at the bank,” and all I can think of is either “She used that word wrong,” or “Wow – I can’t even picture that many millions of people standing on one line – must’ve been like Hands Across America or something,” then I deserve to sink in a bubbling pit of righteous grammatical lava, and I mean that literally.
“It drives some people nuts and I have gotten condescending comments about it.”
From anyone I know? ;-)
The thing is, from you it doesn’t bother me at all any more. What bothers me is hyperbole without irony, hyperbole that takes itself overly seriously. The example that always comes to mind in this specific context is Gray Davis during the rolling blackouts saying that California was “literally at war with Texas.” It wasn’t a joke: it was just him being a self-important ass, along the lines of the blackouts being, again in his words, “worse than Vietnam.” (Um, huh? WTF?!)
Yeah, Dave J, I was referring to you – and a couple of others. You made some condescending comment about it once.
I don’t care, though. I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. It’s my writing style and I also don’t care that it doesn’t bother you “anymore”. Even that “anymore” is condescending. Oh well.
I think my writing, hyperbolic, dramatic, full of “literallys”, suits my personality. And basically: this blog is my ONLINE DIARY. Sometimes people forget that. They spend their days hanging out on political blogs – and then come to visit me – and have a hard time seguing. But this is just a diary I’m putting online. That’s how I see it. I’m letting you into my weird little world because I love to write and I’m also an emotional exhibitionist – and hopefully people like visiting because people like to hang out with me in my weird little world and they find ME interesting.
Whatever. I’m gonna hang out with Mark Twain! Literally.
Oh, and as a coda to that – yeah, of course – hyperbole without irony is very annoying.
But I think pretty much everything should be seasoned with irony.
Stop it, stop it! You’re hurting my back teeth, meaning the opposite of what you’re saying! ;-)
One in that vein that REALLY drives me nuts is “I could care less,” when what they mean is that they could NOT care less. arrrrghh.
Oh, the tiny things that make us bonkers. Ain’t life grand? (knowing someone, somewhere, is cringing at the use of “ain’t, hee, hee.)
I did learn something today, watching the old Hitchcock film, “Shadow Of A Doubt.” If someone is overcome by carbon monoxide from auto exhaust, you drag them outside, and in a team of 4, do the following: Hold up the head, pour bourbon down the throat, rub the feet, and fan the face. And then they will be all better, and say, “I’m all right, really I am.” Literally.
Just thought I’d share, that it wasn’t a wasted day.
Oh man. “I could care less” is one of my pet peeves, too.
And I literally lose sleep over mis-placed apostrophes.
But those things are incorrect grammar. The whole “literally” thing is a writing STYLE. Or part of the style. It’s figurative language – it’s part of how writers write.
And thanks SO much for the carbon monoxide poisoning tip … I had better make sure I keep a flask of bourbon on me at all times, just in case!
Christina used to say that she ” literally got up in the morning in order to hyperbolize”. I love hyperbole and im probably the most guilty of overusing literally…if someone doesnt get the irony..im not stopping to go back and explain…keep up or keep out!!!
Mitchell –
hahahaha Yup – keep up with me or get the hell out of my way. Enought people DO get my style that I can’t worry about those who don’t.
I miss Christina by the way. She had such a way with words. And with fabric.
Member her characterization of our experience modeling her hats at the food festival?
“We were literally almost killed.”
She interpreted 2 or 3 dirty looks as us being “literally almost killed”.
Hyperbole? Yes. Fuckin’ funny??? Yes!
exactly!!! if she had to go back and explain to the listener that we weren’t in fact almost killed by repressed Lincoln Park hat-haters..the whole point and beauty is gone!
hat-haters …
bwahahaha
WHY did they resent us SO MUCH? We were just wearing hats.
hahahaha