The snow fell pretty much all day yesterday. It was rather odd, after the relatively balmy weather of last week. The snow did not turn to rain, it continued to accumulate, and I had to struggle through drifts in my inappropriate shoes to get to my doorway.
I woke up this morning to see icicles hanging off the tree branches outside, and my window sills drifted with snow.
A couple of weeks ago, I heard the cries of the geese returning. A sure sign of spring. Where did the geese go? Are they all right? They hang out at the reservoir by my house … but do they freak when it snows? Do they hide? Do they die? I worried about them obsessively this morning.
The Canada Goose is in my top 3 of birds (including the seagull and the crow). I, too, believe that they are pretty tough. How else would so many take over the lawn of Bostitch? They are everywhere… all over Chicago in fact. They chase dogs. They will survive.
I have this story – remarkably long and stupid – about being attacked by a rabid goose once. I’ll spare you the torture of sharing it, but I will say that some people fear clowns, I fear the goose.
Jackie: Bostitch!! Of course! Geese Central.
Emily: Your story sounds terrifying. A rabid goose?
Well, I don’t know if it was rabid, but I was at this park with a lake, and there were a bunch of them cruising around, and one of them just charged me. Charged me. I don’t know why on Earth he had it in for me personally, but man, did he want blood.
It was a sight – a little ten year-old girl in a park on a sunny day, running with her arms flailing, screaming, pursued by a goddamm goose. It’s one of those moments in life that you wish you had on video.
Laughing out loud at my desk.
The geese are up here too (the 45th parallel, NYC is the 40th ) but the Mallards have been back longer. They huddle together on creeks with fast moving and therefore open water. When its balmy for a while, they venture out to open fields soaked in melt water and paddle about the three inch deep water with their bright orange feet. I think your geese will be ok.
Geese are hardy creatures. In my hometown there is a Wildlife Sanctuary where geese stick around year round because people come there to feed them corn, so naturally with free grub, why migrate? The geese and ducks there are bold in winter, a mob of them will back you up to a building in order to score a handful of kernels, occasionally a mallard will literally fly into your arms and stick it’s head into the bucket of corn. It’s wild.
Love the bright orange feet. They’re hysterical.
They are comical little buggers, with serious attitude. Gotta love it.
I absolutely do not believe I have a goose story.
I was in New York about a year ago doing a show. I was living with Michael Thomas (note: funniest man on the planet), and we were doing “Hamlet-The Musical” off Broadway (note: The Show That Wouldn’t Die). We were there for almost 3 months, and cooped up in an apartment the size of a stick of Dentine, so we decided to be New York-ey and take a walk around Central Park. Michael found a goose by a small puddle of water, and decided to feed it some bread. Not being an outdoors-ey Lass, I stayed cautiously five or six feet away. Everything was going along swimmingly until the goose turned into Norman Bates, and raced after Michael with lightening speed. Michael had apprently run out of bread crumbs, and the goose just simply wouldn’t stand for it. That thing chased him for about 15 minutes, and I’m not kidding you. Michael would stand still, the goose would stand still. Michael would run, the goose would run. I would’ve helped, but I was busy laughing like Elane Stritch during happy hour.
Finally, with triumphant glee, and I must say, a smidge of self assuredness, the goose stopped, turned, fluffed, and wadlled back to the patch of water, pretending as if nothing had happned.
It was the funniest 20 minutes I had ever spent in New York.
Alex
I was once chased by a swan on Block Island. It had my coat in its beak. Alex’s story is worthy of a short film.
Thanks, Jackie. It felt like a short film.
Alex