All I know is – is that this post just keeps getting funnier and funnier … the text is funny … each photo is funnier than the one before it … the last photo is going to give me nightmares … FUNNY.
Categories
Archives
-
-
-
-
Recent Posts
- “Knowledge is a polite word for dead but not buried imagination…think twice before you think.” — E.E. Cummings
- September 2025 Snapshots
- Upcoming dates: Frankenstein
- Getting unstuck
- “Where am I coming from? Where am I going? A fusillade of question marks.” — Ciarán Carson
- Frankenstein coming to life …
- “I grew up believing that I was fundamentally powerless.” — Thom Yorke
- Frankenstein and Tiffany, part deux
- “I want to live, not pose!” — Carole Lombard
- “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
Recent Comments
- sheila on Getting unstuck
- Daniel V. on Getting unstuck
- sheila on That’ll Learn Ya reunites
- joe franco on That’ll Learn Ya reunites
- sheila on “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
- Kristen Westergaard on “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
- sheila on Upcoming dates: Frankenstein
- Frances on Upcoming dates: Frankenstein
- sheila on Upcoming dates: Frankenstein
- sheila on Getting unstuck
- Frances on Upcoming dates: Frankenstein
- Walter Biggins on Getting unstuck
- Amir Lauber on All That Jazz: Remembering and Loving Erzebet Foldi
- sheila on “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
- sheila on “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
- Krsten Westergaard on “When I’m performing, that’s the real me.” — Billy Lee Riley
- sheila on Premiere of Frankenstein official trailer!
- sheila on Premiere of Frankenstein official trailer!
- Sheila Welch on Premiere of Frankenstein official trailer!
- sheila on “I wish I had not been so reserved.” — Joseph Cornell’s final words
-
Think how much funnier Chitty Chitty Bang Bang would have been if it had been “poop sweet.”
hahahaha
Poop sweets sound like what they are
So do lollies in a lollipop jar
Let’s just stop there.
“Stupid rip-off pooping Santa.”
We were given the reindeer pooper this year. It plays a little tune while excreting. Which is bad enough but worse because the candy is really tasty. Reindeer poop is really tasty. But you always get caught eating it because you have to pump the tail and the bastard starts singing before he drops.
btw reindeer poop tastes like cola jawbreakers.
*i think this is my cue to hang my head in shame?*
//But you always get caught eating it //
I’m shaking with laughter. hahahahaha
About to drop
A little sheepish
Just for you.
bwahahahahahaha
Oh, and I have just noticed, the red nose is my daughter’s doing. LOL. I had no idea til now. LOL. She gave the reindeer pooper a nosejob!
She has turned him into Rudolph. Rudolph the pooping reindeer.
Rudolph the pooping reindeer
Had a very shiny….bum
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it flows
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
Rudolph the pooping reindeer
They never let poor Rudolph
Poop in any reindeer mains
Then one boozy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your bum so alight
Won’t you take a break tonight
Then how the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the pooping reindeer
You’re not gonna poop on ME!
*really my cue now, isn’t it?*
//you would even say it flows//
I’m such a child. I am giggling right now.
Imagine the mentality you must have to make it up in the first place. Hello, am I what, 8?
By the way, that last bit you kind of have to give a little gusto to.
And now we know the *real* reason why Rudolph never got to lead the pack.
I always had a problem with the banishment of Rudolph because of his red nose but if he were a pooping maniac, i’d banish him myself.
Rudolph, the pooping maniac. Doesn’t have the same flow. Oops, er, ring.
Ring probably wasn’t the right word, either.
hahahahaha
Speaking of bathroom humor, have you been back to the Charmin pooper?
I have not – HOWEVER. Some dude read my post – visited New York last week – and went to the place – (Charmin should pay me!!) and he took even better photos. Hang on, let me find it.
here it is
You can get a good look at the workers, and the bear claws, etc. etc. Also the crowds.
Excellent. I love that your blog is making the Charmin pooper a must-see in New York. A must-pee?
Oh. my. god. The toilet costumes. I have only gotten that far. Toilet costumes!!!
Oh, that was the end. But oh. my. god. anyway. How wonderful is that.
Oh! And have you seen Happy Mornings yet????!?!?!?!
Go. See. It. Now. Click on the TV. It is AWESOME.
i KNOW!!! I did not see the toilet costumes when I was there (I am sure I would have mentioned them otherwise) … Look at the smiles on those dude’s faces! Like – what??
The 1st toilet guy kind of has the same sheepish grin the pooping reindeer is sporting. Like, he knows it is all wrong, but what can you do?
It’s a paycheck!
I’m more disturbed at the poor costume designer, who perhaps has dreams of designing for the Metropolitan Opera – who instead has to pay her dues designing a costume like that.
Yes, and who thinks, “How do I finish this off? I know! Bear mitts!”
Which is probably why s/he will never get the Met Opera gig. Bear mitts. Like, “Yeah, the toilets were very well done, but why bear mitts?”
I do believe she took her thematic cue from this source.
Although I’m sure she was bitter about it, dreaming of her beautiful costume sketches for Aida that dance in her head.
Ok. Mega roll. LOL.
And then the fact that the site shows a toilet roll graphic while it says it is loading is slightly …funny.
Did you see the Toilet site????? It is billing itself as the Ultimate Family Experience.
There is a guestbook. And photos.
Sheila!!! You have to look at the photos. There is one with this guy opening the bathroom door to this mommy and daughter – they look like you would imagine them to – and he looks totally insane as he gives them an overexaggerated thumbs up – and there’s more!!
Oh crap I can’t find it!!
Oh crap lol
It’s on the 30th. And on the 18th is a classic of a little kid from the back appearing to be a little toilet shy getting enticed into one of the stalls by the staff. It’s the stuff toilet anxiety is made of.
The Flush-O-Meter is oddly fascinating. I think I should close that tab now.
Okay.
I have just scrolled thru that bunch of photos.
I have no words for … any of what I just saw.
The couple on the “stage”? I want to punch them both.
yeah and look at that dude’s manic insane face – greeting the mother and kid at the bathroom door.
Like … wow. I need a BIT MORE PRIVACY for such activities. Seriously, bro. Step off.
Carrie –
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
we need serious help. I’m trying the Flush O Meter now.
The game answers the question as to whether a bear shits in the woods or not.
Did you see Happy Mornings yet??
Algeria has 1 of these Charmin Restrooms.
… while Nigeria has 4.
Sheila, I think we are afflicted with a terrible disorder. Not only did we enjoy looking at people going to the giant toilet, but we actively sought the photos out. And shared them. Lord, help us.
7 in Kazakhstan!
hahahahaha I know!!!
7,145 Charmin Restrooms in Canada.
14 in Iceland!
Aren’t those the number of people who have used the New York pooper?
I can’t stop.
I’m trying to find a country that DOESN’T have one. But even the Sudan has one. Even Somalia. War-torn though they are they’ve got some dancing toilets!
Hm. Looks like West Africa is off the list. Some of it.
Carrie – oh – is that it??
But … so that means only ONE person used it in Algeria?
2 North Koreans!!
Yes. Because if there really were 1,645 Charmin poopers in Ireland, you know I would totally be there.
Carrie – I love how we’re going to the worst spots in the world and seeing if there’s a freakin’ Charmin Restroom there.
I mean … what?
And somehow it all makes sense.
6 Afghanis!
Actually, that means there are 1,645 poopers in Ireland who have pooped in New York’s Charmin poop-stop.
So hang on a second. We’re talking about people who, like, signed the guest book?? Is this what these numbers mean?
2 North Koreans came to Times Square and used the pooper?
Okay. Now I understand.
So one lonely Algerian has traveled to New York and used the facility.
I was picturing the deserts of Sudan – with a lonely Charmin Restroom facility standing by itself.
I’m an ass.
Syria and Iraq are neck and neck with 1 pooper per country each. What does this say that North Korea has more New York poopers than they do?
However I didn’t sign a guest book when i went there – so I am pretty much unaccounted for.
An ass is not a bad thing to be when talking about poopers pooping in poop-stops.
People from West Africa need to get their butts to New York NOW and even up their continent’s count.
Also Turkmenistan. Turkmenistan has sent no Poop Ambassador to our fair shores.
Gosh, it makes you wonder how many more poopers around the world there actually are when you think about all the unaccounted ones!
I wonder if I go back to the Flush O Meter tomorrow and check the numbers will have changed.
Or what if I went back to the facility, told them I was from Turkmenistan, did my duty – and then checked the site … would suddenly there be “1” from Turkmenistan?
Okay, I so need to do this.
Did you see you could refresh the page as you were looking at it, to be right on top of all the latest figures?
Sheila, I wonder, was there a poop deck there?
Sheila, you totally need to go there and spoof their guestbook.
Oh – no I did miss the refresh feature.
Okay, next time I go back there I am totally going to sign a guest book (wherever that may be) and tell them i am from a country who has not yet visited.
Ok, we are beyond help now. Plotting to spoof the pooping logbook.
ha ha, log book, geddit.
I will be from Sierra Leone or Turkmenistan.
And then the next day we’ll check back and see if a lonely little “1” has been added.
You will Borat the Charmin!!
I clearly need to get a life.
Log book.
hahahahaha
You should dress up, wear a head scarf or something. I don’t know.
I know. Like – I’m from Turkmenistan? Yeah, right.
Maybe my parents were missionaries or something.
Mauritania is also an option – which I might have to go with because I did a report on that country in the 4th grade.
I seriously think if you put on an accent and a head scarf or maybe some sunglasses on your head, you could fool them. I mean, we are talking about people who are wearing toilet suits and bear mitts, high-fiving and thumbs-upping poopers and encouraging them to do the “I-gotta-go” dance. You could totally be from Turkmenistan.
Yeah, that’s true. It’s not like anyone’s going to check my credentials. Or some Charmin Police are going to arrest me for falsifying my identity.
Or for wearing something odd.
Then again. The person in charge of the log book may be onto the scam. I mean, how many North Koreans are pooping in New York, really? They may ask for a passport. Alternatively, they may be so exicted about their Flush-O-Meter that they are really into verifying the locations of transient poopers and keeping an accurate record. Because, you know, the Flush-O-Meter is not worth a dang thing if it’s not accurate.
This is true.
I am totally going to give it a shot, though. I will be from Mauritania. I was born there. My parents were missionaries. I was sent to college in America and I have lived here ever since.
Okay – so I have to go to my dinner party now … but this has been SO FUN. And also disturbing!
Hmmm. Is that recent enough to qualify? What did you study? Did you want to come here? When did you last visit home? Are your parents still living? What is your favorite memory about pooping in Mauritania?
Have fun at the party (good to see you’re not a party pooper)! (Ok, I will stop, I promise).
And don’t forget to check out Happy Mornings!!!!!!!
I need to be a visitor to America, don’t I.
I’ll come up with something.
You guys brought this thread to 81 comments.
Talking about poop.
I love you both. Dearly.
I can always tell when you link to something on my page. My daily numbers suddenly double. So thanks for the link!
Your readers are a quiet bunch though – they never comment. :)
Hey, remember that Tavares first concert story I sent you? I got a neat comment the other day from someone who said they were going to pass it on to one of the brother’s sons. Made my day.
Thanks again!
JV
JV – they are a quiet bunch! At least when they go over there to your site – they chat it up over here!
Isn’t it great when some random stranger comes across a post you wrote and you know, even in a small pop-culture type way, it’s made a difference? I just love that.
Happy new year, JV. :)
“Log book.
hahahahaha”
OK, you are officially killing me. I am just dying laughing that you first thought the figures represented the number of Charmin Restrooms in Somalia, Afghanistan, North Korea, etc. HAHAHA. The image of such a place in those countries is so absurd I am laughing as hard as I have laughed in several days. I mean just picture an Afghani tribal leader, and a few of his henchmen who haven’t showered/bathed in what?–years? entering a Charmin Restroom to take a dump, and they encounter the insanely cheerful whacko brigade that works in those places. Or how about some poor Somalis being offered “some soft, soft Charmin.” Uh–No thanks, but do you have any potable water? Damn, now I ruined it–that’s not so funny.
Charmin takes over the world! If they have a restroom in the Sudan then surely they can put one up in Mauritania. Sheesh!
I was truly shocked at the concept that North Korea would have 2 and Algeria only 1. It seemed off somehow.
I am totally gonna get Mauritania on that Poop Map. Just wait and see.
Ok, but did you see Happy Mornings yet??????????
Thank God the Flush-o-Meter doesn’t appear to be real-time. The Internet would probably slow to a crawl with the thousands of people who would be obsessively refreshing their browser, anxiously awaiting Mauritania’s…er, contribution. Hmmm…maybe I should do a little(fictional) book on this.
You girls are clearly insane.
This thread absolutely KILLS Hitchens’ female humor theory…
I’m glad you clarified the whole Poop Heard ‘Round the World, because I was starting to think, “The SUDAN has a Charmin Poop-a-Rama and ARKANSAS doesn’t!?!”
hahahaha Seriously.
Somalia has no functioning government and yet they have a Charmin Restroom facility???
I was a little bit confused.
Okay, I’m joining in late to a long and hilarious comment train, but respect for other cultures forces me to write in defense of Poo-Pooing Santa … (Lord, how difficult it was to type those words.)
There is a Christmas tradition in Catalonia dating back to the 17th century, of a rather, um, UNIQUE Nativity scene figure.
If you go to Wikipedia, and to a search for “caganer”, you will find a whole page dedicated to the “Christmas pooper”, who is always tucked away in a corner of the manger scene in that part of the world. It is often dressed as a Catalan peasant with their distinct red beret, answering nature’s call – but in this century all kinds of “caganers” have become common, including historical figures and celebrities, doing what comes natural.
The pic of the figurine on Wikipedia shows a pose awfully similar to the Santa in the blog you link to. A bit of cultural appropriation, perhaps? :D
If you go to the Wikipedia page, please make sure you are not drinking coffee or any other fluids near your computer screen when reading the Dutch name for a similar tradition.
Carrie –
That Happy Mornings thing is nuts. I’m kinda mesmerized.
I am so glad you watched it. It is staggering in its awesomity. It is absolutely insane. I don’t even know where you would begin. But the chorus rocks: You Can Sleep When You Are Dead has never been said so cheerfully, hopefully. AND, and, AND, you can download the mp3 for your iPod. Which of course, I did.
God Sheila, I have tears in my eyes and my sides hurt! thanks for pointing that post out. :)