But anyway the two big fat Puerto Rican lesbians living next door skipped softball practice to fry up a bunch of coconuts and bananas, I guess, and I suspect they got all high at some point and forgot about the hot grease and shit caught on fire.
I donât know for sure if they were high. I mean, I didnât think to ask them for a blood sample. In fact, I was kind of out of it myself when it all went down, drifting off to sleep by spacing out to a preposterous CD full of electronic drones and bleeps and blips. But even in this drowsy state, I noticed a particularly shrill bleep continuing between tracks. Eventually, smelling smoke, I realized I had been nodding off to the relaxing sound of a fire alarm.
Also: “Dark oblivion, where is thy sweet midnight caress?” what???
Here’s the whole sad story. (Speaking of Patrick, I’m bringing his book on vacation with me, and can’t wait to read it. He’s one of my favorite writers on the web.)
//I donât want to know if the pain is being caused by my unborn twin brother, malformed and embedded in my spine, gnawing his way through my bones with tiny, hideous teeth.//
WHAT!? Hilarious!
David – I fixed the malfunction in your comment. It was those pesky brackets you used – for some reason it made the quote disappear.
I know – I love the “tiny hideous teeth” part.
what??
I should know better than to read his stuff while I’m at work. And drinking coffee.
I think he’s your lobster.
Sad–wild–story.
Of all the “statistically improbable phrases” I expected to see for his book on Amazon, I was surprised by. . . “saltwater catfish.”
There’s a whole chapter about catfish!
I’ll bet it’s a riot.
God he’s hilarious.
On a sadder not, did you hear about Tommy Makem? Oh Danny boy…
Of course I meant ‘note’ not ‘not’.
Typing that hurt my head…
Bren – very weird, I just posted my scattered thoughts on him – as you were commenting.
So sad. What a huge part of my life that voice has been.
Patrick is a brilliant writer. That story KILLED me!