Daily Book Excerpt: Adult fiction:
The ABCs of Love
I read this funny and clever novel in its entirety during one sleepless night. It’s not even 200 pages long. I picked it up because of Ted’s post on her 2nd novel Tell Me Everything – which sparked my interest (also notice the coolness of the fact that she showed up and posted a comment on Ted’s blog about it!!) – I loved the writing he excerpted there – and Tell Me Everything is on my short stack of To Be Read books. Well, my To Be Read stack is actually HUGE, but I have a lifelong “To Be Read” list, which is so extensive I get frightened when I look at it … and then I have a more shortterm one. Like all the Master & Commander books. And War & Peace this summer. And Lionel Shriver’s latest. And Michael Chabon’s Yiddish Policeman Union book. Those will be read in 2008, I am sure of it.
The ABCs of Love is written in snippets – and it’s done alphabetically. We have “entries”, like a dictionary or a thesaurus – multiple entries per letter of the alphabet – and over the entirety of the book, a story emerges. This might seem like a gimmick, and it is – to some degree – but her writing is so interesting and clear that I found myself swept away by it. I also laughed out loud at a couple of points – and that’s always good. I’m eager to read her second novel now. You might think, by looking at the cover, and reading the plot description, that this might as well be called Bridget Jones’ Diary Part Deux, but you would be wrong. That’s the problem with the “chick lit” label. Eventually, it has come to mean any book that deals with romance, and that pisses me off. Because romance is not just a female concern. Men are involved too. Anna Karenina isn’t a romance? But no one would dare put a “chick lit” label on THAT thing. I think it’s dismissive of women’s concerns – and yes, there is the Devil Wears Prada version of chick lit – where it’s basically about urban single women who care about shoes and bags and labels and getting married. That’s fine – it’s a genre of writing – and there is obviously a huge audience for it. I don’t happen to care for it, but that’s immaterial. I don’t really care for sci-fi either, or horror novels. Whatever, it’s personal taste. What annoys ME is that books that are NOT that brand of chick lit – books that have a much wider appeal (see: Elinor Lipman) are lumped under some marketing umbrella, which then, of course, frightens away male readers, which is unfortunate.
One of the neat things about me doing my Book Excerpt thing, is that some people are turned on to books that they might never have picked up otherwise. I was so so pleased to see that the male blogger at Quiet Bubble had picked up The Pursuit of Alice Thrift by Elinor Lipman because of my post on it. I mean, even the title of that book screams “This is for girls” … and the new cover design is typical: headless cartoon-y women, glass of wine, string of pearls, strappy heels … You know. But it’s not like that at all. It’s a deep and insightful sociological portrait of working at a big city hospital … all the different personalities … and this kind of humorless Asperger’s type lead character … It’s a wonderful book. NOT just for girls.
And come on, if I can read and love the Master & Commander series, where women sometimes don’t show up for an entire book, then you boys can come over to our side as well, just to visit! There are good books out there! Marketing Departments be damned … what’s inside the book??
(A side issue is that I am not at all turned off by a book just because it is “meant for” men, or marketed to men, or seems like a boy-book. I am annoyed by men who, say, haven’t read Jane Eyre, because it seems like a “girl book”. You know what? Fuck you. Basically, that is my response.) Perhaps it is because, you know, I was educated in a time before politically correct canons were thrust upon students – where Native American chants were given as much time in class as the Magna Carta – where a housewife who wrote one poem in 1481 is put on par with William Blake – where literature was taught to redress grievances, as opposed to, you know, read the great books out there – so most of the books we read in high school were by men, and whatever, I dealt with it, because that’s the way of the world. As a girl, you get used to reading books where you are not represented in the slightest. Harper Lee was read in high school. In any poetry units, we’d read Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, others … we read Wuthering Heights in 11th grade … but you know, the exceptions only prove the rule. I feel protective of women authors I love, and angry when they get short shrift, because of their gender. Not all books dealing with romance are Sex and the City knock-offs. Yes, many books are – but not ALL books, and to lump Elinor Lipman in with that?? Without even reading her? No. You’re an idiot if you do that.
What if I had decided to not read Moby Dick because it was written by a man and there are no girls in that book? Wouldn’t that be a stupid reason to not read a book? Just as stupid as a man deciding not to read Jane Eyre.
This reminds me of the poor gentleman who emailed me and tried to compliment me by going on and on and on about how surprised he was that he found my writing interesting, engaging, smart, thought-provoking … he was surprised by it because I was a woman. He was quite open about his surprise. He said, “Most women are of the Fried Green Tomatoes type of writing…” Uh … they are? Joyce Carol Oates? Joan Didion? Anne Fadiman? Annie Proulx? AS Byatt? AM Homes? Margaret Atwood? Mary Gaitskill? Elinor Lipman? Alice McDermott? Jhumpa Lahiri? Do you want me to go on? He wouldn’t have picked up any of those books because the author had a vagina. That was basically what he was saying. He just could not get over that he liked my blog and I was a woman!! And he kept referencing Fried Green Tomatoes. The accomplishments of great women writers through the centuries were nothing to this guy. All women will be judged by Fried Green Tomatoes. It really was about his judgment of what he saw as female concerns, for which he had nothing but contempt. Men wrote about REAL things, women were just silly. He said, with SOME concession to manners, “I suppose you think I’m a Neanderthal.” I had to really think about my response to him before I hit “Send”. I obviously needed to slaughter him, because I am over trying to ‘teach’ unevolved people in how to appreciate my awesomeness without being total jagoffs. Some people just aren’t jagoffs NATURALLY, and those are the people I want to hang with. So I wrote him back and just said, “I don’t think you’re a Neanderthal. Just a bigot. I cannot allow you to sideswipe my entire gender repeatedly and feel that that is somehow okay. Also, you seem to have a really limited reading list if you judge all women authors by Fried Green Tomatoes. So that is a lacking in your education, not a fault of women writers. It’s not OUR fault that you aren’t a more adventurous reader.” I then provided him with a reading list including George Eliot, Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Emily Bronte, Mary Shelley, Flannery O’Connor, Willa Cather, AS Byatt, Madeleine L’Engle, Annie Proulx … the list went on forever. Women who never, in a million years, would be put on the same level as Fried Green Tomatoes. Don’t blame WOMEN for your bullshit reading list, bub. He apologized, but (strangely enough!!) I never heard from him again! Huh! Maybe he’ll think twice before being such an open bigot again, but I doubt it.
To me, there’s a big problem in book design, too – although I understand the rationale. They want to find the “niche” audience – and they want to make sure that it appeals. But, as someone who is turned OFF by the “clacking heels Manohlo Blahniks Prada bag” version of chick lit – I get annoyed when I see Lipman’s books re-released with covers that suggest that THAT is what is inside. And here’s the deal: It’s like marketing of movies as well. I get that it’s a business, so please don’t lecture me about that. HOWEVER: I am a consumer, too – and when you ignore me, you ignore a vast swath of the audience that you might actually NEED. You market a movie as a wacky American Pie 2 and I probably won’t see it. But if you lie about what a movie actually is … like the way Weatherman was marketed…. What a mess. I thought that film was a brilliant and bleak portrait of a man at the end of his rope. The more I think about it, the more I love that film. It was marketed to the folks who like Nicholas Cage one way, over the top, whatever … and so … they made it seem like a movie it wasn’t. And so it bombed. That’s a shame. Because, like I mentioned: I dislike being ignored as a consumer. There are people in America who like serious films about serious subjects. Ignore us at your peril, basically. I am also a valid audience member who will shell out 12 bucks for a movie … so if you skip over me, just because I like more serious fare, you’re an idiot – it’s not smart marketing.
Book Slut focuses quite a bit on the whole chick lit thing … here’s a really interesting recent piece about chick lit covers – and it’s not to dis those books. But, for example – Jessa (the original Book Slut) has been writing quite a bit about Inglorious, a book she thought was fantastic. It has been released in the States in paperback – with a new non-chick-lit-ty cover – here is her post on it. I can only speak from my own experience – as someone who does not enjoy the typical urban-single-girl chick lit and will actually not pick up a book with a cover like that, because I’m not into it (Thank God I read Elinor Lipman before her books were all re-designed to look like chick lit) – so I remember seeing the first version of Inglorious in bookstores, and just passing right by it. In general, I’m not going to like a book that has, on its cover, strappy heels, a headless woman, a cute purse … It’s just not my thing. But apparently, the book is not that way at all – and the marketing team, of course, made some decisions to reach out to a wider audience … but in doing so, ignored ME, someone who WOULD be interested (and very interested) in reading a book of that description.
What does all this have to do with The ABCs of Love?
Oh, nothing. hahahahaha No, but seriously: even with a title like ABCs of Love I can sense the limit of the appeal of the book – and perhaps there is something to that. It’s not a big book, with big themes – but it’s also not a silly piece of fluff. There is some middle ground.
The book is broken down into the alphabet – but as you go through, there is a chronology that emerges … I really liked the structure. Like, there’s a story being told here: of a woman and her romance, and her best friend being the mistress of a married man … but because of the alphabetical structure of the book, there’s a fragmented aspect to the whole thing, which I think really suits the story. It’s very funny, too: after each entry she cross-references with other entries, like an index – and sometimes they are touching, other times hilarious. For example, in one “entry” when she rhapsodizes about the beginning of her relationship, one of the index cross-references is also the entry titled “Endings”. You know, who can’t relate to that? You look at the beginning of something, and you know the end of it, you know the whole story – so it’s hard not to have that retrospective knowledge bleed into the entire thing.
So. Hope you enjoyed my rant! It’s been on my mind a bit because I’ve been disgusted by the misogynistic tone of much of the Sex and the City reviews, a movie I don’t plan on seeing – I loved the series, but I have no interest in seeing the movie – but the viciousness of the reviews have been such a turnoff. What women use as escapism is seen as silly and trivial, and men’s escapes are given much more weight and gravitas. Or it’s given a pass. Like the many MANY sit coms with big slobby guys married to skinny hot chicks. Yeah, fine, you want me to not question it, and just buy into it as reflective of reality … I kinda don’t, but whatevs. It’s escapist fare, it’s a fantasy … and that’s fine. Fantasy has its place. Just don’t ask me to accept it as real, and then expect me to put up silently with your misogynistic ravings about how shallow women are based on THEIR fantasies. Please.
I say all of this, too, as someone who is not all that “girlie”, who never fits in with generalizations about women. But again, that’s okay – because I know who I am, and I can make my own way. Society may have a vested interest in saying, again and again, ‘Men are like this” and “women are like this” but I’m old enough to know that, fine, that may be the norm for some, but I don’t fit in with that, and thank God I have good friends and excellent boyfriends who love me for who I am, in all my weirdness and “deviations”. I find the materialism of much of the chick lit genre actually anxiety-provoking … But that’s another post for another day. I don’t discount that chick lit like that is akin to porn for many women – and that’s fine – but it’s not that for me. I like my porn to be, well, porn, frankly. Like I said. I’m actually a man. I’m okay with that.
Here’s an excerpt from the “B” section of the book.
EXCERPT FROM The ABCs of Love
blackbirds, robins, and nightingales
Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between how you sound in your head and how other people seem to hear you.
For instance, I have noticed that I can make what I think is a perfectly pleasant comment but that it can still cause offense. I do not mean to have a sharp tongue, it is just the way the words come out.
Perhaps it is because I have such low self-esteem and do not think so much of myself as someone like Sally, for example.
Personally, though, I blame the nuns. At the convent school I went to, we were split into three groups for singing. There were the Nightingales, who could sing beautifully; the Blackbirds were all right; and the Robins were what Mother Superior called “orally challenged”. I was one of only three Robins in the whole school, although I had a cold at the auditions, so it wasn’t really fair.
The Robins were hardly ever allowed to sing in public and particularly not if the song had anything to do with God. We had to mouth along instead, which got very boring, and sometimes it was hard to keep in the words. Once, an unidentified Robin joined in on a particularly loud and lively hymn, one we all loved. In the middle of our Lord stamping out the harvest, Mother Superior held out her hand for silence.
“Hark!” she said, raising her other hand to her ear. “I can hear a Robin singing.” Everyone looked at me.
That moment has always stayed with me. One of the things I hate most about myself is the way I blush in public even when I am not necessarily to blame. It is the same feeling that makes you itch every time anyone talks about fleas.
— See also Captains; God; Outcast; Voices
blood
It used to be a craze at school to scratch the initials of your boyfriend into your arm with a compass and squeeze the skin until the blood came up. Then you’d rub ink over the graze so you’d be tattooed for life. Luckily, it rarely worked.
Once I was doing it with Sally, but as neither of us had a boyfriend at that time, we just dug the compass randomly into each other’s arms. It made me think of the time I punctured my aunt’s favorite leather sofa one Christmas with the screwdriver from the toy carpentry set I’d got from Santa. I did that again and again too.
It was Sally’s idea to mix the blood drops together. She kept flicking her cigarette lighter, and we sang “Kumbaya” as we did it to make it seem more meaningful. Sally said that we were sisters now and that nothing could separate us, not even a boy.
— See also Codes; Mars Bars; Vendetta; Yields; Zzzz
bosses
The only trouble with my job is the bosses. My current one is possibly the worst I have ever had. His name is Brian. He is from Yorkshire and has a short bristly beard, which he is always fondling, and if I don’t manage to look away, I can sometimes see his little tongue hanging out, all red and glistening.
Brian won’t leave me alone. He seems to think we have a special relationship. He’s always telling me that I mustn’t mind if he teases me, that he does it to everyone he’s fond of. “It means you’re one of the family, Ver,” he says, putting his arm around me.
It’s funny, though, that while Brian is always standing too close to me, when it comes to work, he likes to dictate his typing for me into a machine rather than face-to-face. He’ll do it even when I’m in the room, and he’ll leave little messages to me as he’s dictating, which means I have to hear them twice. Once he said into the machine: “Good morning, Verity. You’re looking very nice this morning,” so I called across, “Thank you, Brian,” and he told me off for spoiling his dictation. He said he’d have to start again now. I left the room, and when I eventually listened to his tape, I noticed that this time he didn’t say I looked nice.
Another time he dictated a rude joke to me. A man in an office asked to borrow another man’s Dictaphone. The other man said no, he couldn’t. He should use his finger to dial like everyone else.
I listened to this through my headphones with a stony face because I knew Brian was watching me, hoping I would laugh.
— See also Ambition; Zero
This is a chock-full-of-ideas posts, Sheila! What an interesting structure for a novel–and the “robins” part reminds me of when my aunt (my mom’s SIL) told me that a teacher had made some people in her class just mouth the words instead of singing. I thought it might be a Southern thing, but I guess not!
You have a good point with the “chick lit book cover” discussion–author Jen Lancaster at her Jennsylvania blog recently posted a cover idea by one of her readers for men who would like to read her latest book–which has *panties* on the cover–in public. I don’t even get the connection between the cover art and the theme of the book there, but then again, my copy of the first one (“Bitter Is the New Black”) has a dress (huh!?) on the cover.
Also, young adult reading covers can sometimes be downright annoying. I’m currently reading a nonfiction book on spirituality and dating which I ordered from the publisher’s website and didn’t realize until it arrived how neon green the cover was–to appeal to college/immediately-post college age readers. Yikes.
And sitcoms with the hot-smart wife/slob-inept husband cut both ways IMO. (Sorry to go on so long! Must be the coffee.)
Yes – the whole cover art thing is very interesting!! I love to see how it develops sometimes … what works, what doesn’t … I only mind it when I miss a book because of the cover design … or I somehow adore a book and feel that others wouldn’t pick it up because of a bad book design!!
Are there sitcoms with skinny hot dudes married to big slobby women that I am unaware of??
It’s a male fantasy – and that’s fine, again I don’t care – and I love Judd Apatow’s films which have a lot of that kind of fantasy in them – but to turn around and be so vicious at the fantasies of women … It disgusts me, it really does.
And I say this as a woman who does NOT share the typical female fantasy of buying Prada bags and nailing a rich hot husband … The very thought of that fills me with anxiety!! But the fact that many women find that a pleasing fantasy is okay by me!
And the thought of making little kids mouth the words in choir is horrible!! Especially if it’s not, you know, a professional choir!
Sarah Selway has a couple of blogs, too – she seems like a very cool person. I look forward to reading more from her.
“sitcoms with skinny hot dudes married to big slobby women”–heh. I might be way off, but I’d guess some of those who deride such shows/films are doing so because they’re trying to prevent all women, or all men, from being painted with the same brush. We don’t need more stereotypes that break down our understanding of each other–but then again, if people are going to buy into the stereotypes, then it kind of is their own fault.
Well, I don’t think such fantasies exist in a vacuum obviously – you know, we all want to be loved “for who we are” – love handles and all … Men are not immune to that kind of body-image pressure, so I think those sit coms come out of that fantasy. I get that. And also: I get that the fantasy is often a reaction to something – a reaction, perhaps, to all the Husband-As-Stupid-Dufus commercials out there, stuff that I find personally offensive!! Men are right to be angry about it – in the same way that women were right to be angry about how THEY were being portrayed in the media as helpless little dears who only needed to keep a clean kitchen in order to be a proper woman. So there are going to be reactions against that type of blanket portrayal.
I don’t begrudge men their fantasies. Not at all – I applaud it!! But then to have women’s fantasies of being swept away, or – to have a take-charge type of guy drag her into the bushes – or whatever the fantasy is -be so attacked, and so condescended to …
I call bullshit.
We all need to just cut each other a bit more slack!
I would love to see you post your TBR short list. Long list, too, but that’s pie in the sky!
Diana – I’d love to hear yours, too!
Well although I doubt “this” particular read will be on my next Amazon order, you might be happy to know that “The Things They Carried”, “Blood Meridian”, and now “Light Years” are books I have purchased and read (or in the queue to read) DIRECTLY as a result of your blog. Additionally I purchased “In a Lonely Place” which was probably the best DVD I’ve purchased in years.
Just thought you might like to know that “yes”, the “Book Excerpt thing” and movie reviews do expose a new literary or cinema experience to some of us that otherwise might not have been enlightened. Furthermore, I’ve yet to be disappointed. So keep up the great work and “Thanks”
M
Mark – I love to hear that, I really do.
The reason I mentioned the Quiet Bubble blogger, though, is that it was a book he never would have picked up otherwise – due to its female author, chick lit cover and chick lit description. It’s marketed to women only. Why would he pick it up?
But that does the book SUCH a disservice. It’s so good!
So if you had picked up that book, as opposed to Blood Meridien which is by a male author, and mainly marketed to men, and enjoyed it, well – that would be a true victory because anything that chips away at the gender stereotypes is a triumph, as far as I’m concerned!
Or who knows – maybe you never would have read Blood Meridien in a million years if I hadn’t ranted about it! So it’s all good! That book blew me AWAY.
Funny thing: I was talking recently with my friend David who had basically made me read Blood Meridien – and he had actually blocked out the ending. He had just read it, too! But that ending was so awful and shattering that he had forgotten the plot completely. Now THAT is a powerful book!!
I can’t begin to tell you how many books are awaiting me on my bookshelf solely because of what I read here about them. And as for cracking gender sterotypes, I mentioned before how I’d have never picked up Master and Commander (I mean, literally PICKED UP because we had it here in the house, my husband read it and passed it on to someone else because I assumed it wouldn’t interest me and then I had to go and reacquire it after reading about it here) so it goes both ways. And I read a lot of “male” authors, like Roth and Updike and I adored Richard Ford’s Sportswriter trilogy so it was something about the whole sea/ships thing that felt too masculine to me, I guess. Anyway, I look forward to reading it. It is definitely on the short list.
And speaking of lists short and long, I see that you are on Goodreads now, Sheila, and I look forward to seeing what you’re reading. I’m inspired now to flesh out my “to be read” shelf there. I’ve been only adding books I plan to read quite soon but it seems that it would be a good place to keep track of everything I want to read one day. I’ll try to do that, even if only 8-10 books every day or so.
Diana –
Oh, totally, with the Master & Commander books!! I had the same thing!
1. Ships (I don’t care)
2. War (I don’t care, except historically – I like non-fiction for my war stuff)
But then I heard enough people just raving about it – men AND women … and I am so so glad I got over myself and picked them up. They are a total joy.
And I won’t be updating Good Reads, to be honest … sorry! I have so many friends on it, but I’m just not into it, really.
All book stuff will still be on the blog. I only have time for one online endeavor – I can barely update my Facebook page!
Ok, someone’s feeling chatty today…
I also wanted to mention that I read a different book entirely that used this alphabetical entry format and it was horrible. Encyclopedia of Me or somesuch and while I thought the premise was so good, the execution, in this case, was just bad. I finished each entry with the thought, “Who the hell cares?!” Not a good reaction to evoke, eh?
But I LOVE the idea and am glad to see that someone seems to have carried it off. I’ve tried it myself, to just go through the dictionary for a letter, rapidly, and jot down whichever “a-words,” for example, make my pulse quicken a bit. And then I sit down and dashed off a paragraph or two for each word. And I can see that many of them would make good larger pieces. There’s something to it, something simultaneously freeing (all those possible words!) and limiting. It’s a great exercise.
Oh, boo! (To the Goodreads thing.) :)
Well, I’ll just hang tight here, then!
Diana – You know, I was thinking the same thing this morning as I flipped thru it looking for an excerpt. It would be a good writing exercise – espeically if you’re feeling blocked, or not sure where to start, or write about …
City Wendy (a blogger on my blog roll, I love her) does a series called “Autobiography by Alphabet” – which is similar in nature to these things we’ve been talking about here – and I’ve thought of copying her. It’s fun to read, but it also, I would imagine, helps jumpstart your writing, if you’re feeling stuck.
It forces you to not think in a linear way!
Sheila, Yes, I got that (chipping away at the male/female gender role stereotypes) and although I don’t fit as drastically into that “breakthrough” as He, “Light Years” is not a book I would EVER have purchased (haven’t started reading this one yet). Also, Blood Meridian was a book (and author) I had never even heard of so “yes”, it is one that I never would have read in a million years.
What I love so much about your sight is how it has opened doors for me that otherwise might never had been opened. It matters not whether I agree, disagree, enjoy or am totally uninterested. They are the little tidbits of life that make me think, relate, ponder and better understand different ideas and perspectives. It truly is “all good”. “That’s” what I’m thankful for. Sharing those thoughts, ideas and perspectives with others who are equally open minded to differing opinions is just the icing on the cake!
Mark – Yes, I totally agree – in many ways, we all have our tastes and the things we naturally gravitate towards – and one of the great things about reading book sites (or other kinds of sites) is opening your eyes to other genres, or whatever … It’s so fun!
and please please make sure to let me know what you think about Light Years and the other books! Even if you hate them I really would LOVE to hear your response!
Sheila – Won’t be able to visit your site for the next week or so as I’m leaving for vacation tomorrow but I will get back to you on it. I should have some time to read though while I’m away.
So far I’ve yet to be disappointed on anything you personally recommended. Next book in my queue is “The Spirituality of Imperfection” highly recommended by one of my best friends so it may be another week or so before I can get to it. Peace!
M
Great post, Sheila.
Might I suggest this as a way around embarrassing cover art?
http://www.chowdaheadz.com/boredsoxboco.html?productid=boredsoxboco&channelid=FROOG
A Boston Red Sox book cover. :-) Then you can read anything you want, no worries. Haha.
“And also: I get that the fantasy is often a reaction to something – a reaction, perhaps, to all the Husband-As-Stupid-Dufus commercials out there, stuff that I find personally offensive!! Men are right to be angry about it.”
Yes! I am angry about it. How did the image of the American Man/husband become what it is today? I refuse to be stereotyped or to become THAT man. The man, who will lay on the couch all weekend watching sports, who only loves power tools and cars, who is afraid to speak his mind, express himself, or show emotion. This image is laughable and insulting.
âThere are people in America who like serious films about serious subjects. Ignore us at your peril, basically. I am also a valid audience member who will shell out 12 bucks for a movie … so if you skip over me, just because I like more serious fare, you’re an idiot – it’s not smart marketing.â
Yes! I totally agree. I think the movie industry is afraid to market a serious movie for what it is. They are afraid it will be over peopleâs heads. That is why you only see the trailers for âserious subjectâ movies at independent movie houses before documentaries or independent films.
I remember Weatherman being marketed as a comedy which it wasnât and Iâm sure a lot of people who showed up were disappointed in how complex it was. I mean the relationships Cage had with his father, his wife, his kids, his frustrations, his Honesty. (The scene when he ran into the bathroom to read what his wife wrote on that piece of paper, but he was not supposed to read it.) Great scene. Painfully honest scene. There are hilarious parts in the movie but it was not a comedy, it was much darker than that.
Tim – Love your thoughts on Weatherman! I am so so pleased to hear other people’s reactions to that film which, seriously, was a great piece of work, I thought – and totally undermined by the marketing … I’m glad I ended up seeing it anyway … because that is totally my kind of movie.
And about the Stupid Male Syndrome which is so tiresome – well, I think everything is a reaction to something else, you know? These things aren’t in a vacuum. The stupid dufus American male seems to me to be a reaction to powerlessness that women feel in other areas and so it comes out in that manner – women being the primary purchasing power in the family, so those ads are geared towards women – and yes, totally insulting!! – but the reaction on another level is against an insulting and omnipresent view (not just view – but a COMMAND) of womanhood as sweet little dears who just need to know how to cook, and douche properly and stay in the kitchen. Fuck that. So things come in waves, and that’s the stage we’re in now. So the reaction to THAT is the fantasy of slobby inept guys married to hot babes that we see in every other sitcom nowadays (and I still haven’t heard anyone tell me different – you show me a ton of sitcoms where a big fat slobby woman is married to a hot slim guy and then maybe I’ll concede you have a point!) … where the message seems to be: “Yes. I am a slob. I am inept. But look at the hot babe who puts up with me.” No less a fantasy. Same thing as women wanting to be loved for their romantic imperfect selves – without having guys be, oh, grossed out by pubic hair (don’t even get me fucking started) or freaked by the fact that their woman wears a size 12.
We all have our fantasies.
Again, I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with it – but I call bullshit (like I said) on bitchy resentful men who viciously attack women for their fantasies and then refuse to look at their own, or even admit their own (like I’ve seen in a lot of the SATC reviews)
I wrote a really long piece a while back about the wife in Field of Dreams – if you scroll down the sidebar on the right, you’ll see it under “Movies”. A lot of my thoughts on that character – and why she went up some women’s asses – and why I happen to think that she is the key to why that movie works – are in that essay. It has a lot to do with the equality in that relationship, and what she DOESN’T do, how she doesn’t undermine him – they’re a true partnership … It makes you realize the cliches women live under constantly and how refreshing it is to see a character who refuses to toe that line. I’m not even all that wacky about her acting – but God, I loved that character … and what SHE added to all of it.
I’m all for cutting each other a bit more slack. And it always is nice when a MAN comes forward and says he doesn’t like how WOMEN are portrayed. I am perfectly willing to see the unfairness of male portrayals (and I can see it in the continuum, and all that – but still unfair) – but it’s always nice when someone returns the favor. Doesn’t happen often, gotta say … but it is always appreciated. I got their backs – and so it’s nice to know they’ve got mine. I was very appreciative of Matt Zoller Seitz’s comments on his blog about the TONE of the SATC reviews and how hostile and misogynistic he found them. See, women say that, and people roll their eyes (which is another infuriating issue, but we move on) – but to have a man say it? I really appreciated it.
But I also can take care of myself, thank the Lord. It’s fun shutting down the bigots who think that because someone has a vagina her book isn’t worth reading. I can’t imagine that jagoff would go on to actually read Middlemarch, one of the greatest books of the 19th century, but I can rest easy knowing he had a few uneasy moments. Good. He should.
Kerry – I love that Red Sox cover!! Do you have one? Is that a stupid question??
Yes. Stupid question. I actually have two. I love them. I’m ridiculous.
// Yes. Stupid question. //
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Of course you have two!