— I miss our weekend-long hideouts in your apartment where we would watch, oh, the entire British Office, or Slings and Arrows, or, hell, some Forensic Files you had saved, and we could stop and pause and talk about it. I miss you saying things like, “I just want to see some murder”, as you would scroll through the TV Guide.
— I miss our talks about books.
— I miss the support we give each other (although we can certainly support each other long-distance – it’s the PROXIMITY I miss). I miss the unspoken understanding.
— I miss the breadth and depth and scope of our conversations, ranging from our various mental breakdowns, the men we were in love with, to articles in The New Yorker, to funny stories about our pets, to long conversations about movies/art/photography.
— I miss how much we would HOWL with laughter together. Looking up pictures of Hitler in the dictionary and crying with laughter at how mad he looked? How on earth could that ever be explained? Never mind. It was awesome.
— I miss the excursions we would take, and if you ever move back here, we are going to do more of them. Let’s go to MOMA. Let’s go to the Met. Let’s go walk in Central Park.
— I miss the absolutely identical sense of humor that we apparently share. That is no small feat. I never had to explain to you why something was funny or awesome. I am thinking of me re-telling you my long story of getting my car out of hock. You just GOT the subtext.
But what do I miss most?
The regular occurrence of moments like the one we just shared on the phone:
Me: Have you been watching Celebrity Rehab?
You: Of course.
Me: You know who I love? And I can’t even believe I’m saying this.
You: Who.
Me: Heidi Fleiss.
You: I knew you would say that.
Me: I love her so much.
You: I have goosebumps right now.
oh sheila…thank you for this. how i miss thee…i can not count the ways. you are a true kindred spirit and such a special friend. talking to you yesterday, catching up, was so wonderful and so important! i can’t believe we went so long. now, for last night’s sober house!! seth’s back! i worry deeply for him. and, fucking kari ann! my favorite bit was when jen said about her, “she doesn’t need a sober house, she needs to be in an institution.” god, so true. good fucking riddance. also, what’s up with mindy’s nose dive after celebrity rehab? i thought for sure she’d be one of the ones who made it.
finally, you gotta love heidi for cleaning that toilet without complaint…and dennis for throwing himself into the hay bailing.
i make no apologies for the fact that i truly believe that this is GOOD tv! just what i need after a long day’s work.
i love you, dear friend…and can’t wait for your visit!
Oh, it is awesome TV! I haven’t seen last night’s episode yet – One concern I ahve (because yeah, I am not concerned about my own life – but I do manage to be CONCERNED about celebrity rehab) – is that now that it’s a successful show, some of these people may just want to keep “doing the show” – as opposed to really getting well. Know what I mean? Like: is Seth addicted to relapsing because he knows it will be televised?? I know he’s a sick man, but still: the thought has crossed my mind.
You know, Mindy in Celeb Rehab seemed a bit unwilling to admit her own addiction – Like, she blamed her bad brain scan on being beaten up – not on her drinking – member that? I didn’t feel she “got it”, although she was obviously very well-liked and not a freakin’ sociopath like Keri Ann.
That girl needs to be in a ZOO, not an institution. she is not civilized. She is not even housebroken. Cannot stand her.
ahhhhhh. that felt good!
Go Heidi! Stay strong! Your parrots depend on you!!
“your parrots depend on you.” hahahahaha. yes, i do remember mindy being a bit reticent to own her “disease.” i guess i just liked her so much and really wanted her to get well.
and yes, the seth phenomenon is definitely a full-length conversation. dr. drew almost doesn’t take him back because he says he “doesn’t want to be part of the problem.” i think there is something problematic inherent in the tv-show-about-rehab concept. you’ll notice that all of the “celebs” who participate are not exactly A-listers (are you listening Charlie Sheen? Celebrity Rehab and Sober House need you), but are personalities who need exposure, recognition, public validation…so there is a certain opportunism involved, which shouldn’t really play a part in recovery. it’s a very symbiotic relationship between the show and the participants….both need each other to prosper. but are the participants calculating their “need” based on the imperative to truly get better and survive (which should be their priority) or on the desire to keep their vanishing personae/careers in the spotlight? all very interesting…must write a dissertation.
You know who really took the treatment and ran with it?
Our beloved Amber. She is now a spokeswoman for addicts. I adore her.