Shrieking wind against my windows. Wrapped in flannel. Drinking coffee. I feel sad. I wish there were more accord in the world, but at the moment, there is not. And we must move forward in the way that we think is right. Like every other country on the planet. Every country acts in its own self-interest. Not just us.
Well, fuck all of them. That’s how I feel today. Fuck all of them. If the Louvre is attacked, if Big Ben is bombed, guess who they will turn to to back them up?
Fuck them.
So here’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to go out, and have a good day, chilling with my parents, enjoying their company, preparing for the arrival of a friend of mine and her husband, who are flying in to stay with me for a week. I am not going to watch the news today. (Rebecca West would call me an “idiot” and I know! I am! I’m just going to take one day to be an “idiot.”) I am going to focus on the here and now, the personal relationships, the conversation of things other than world events … because … I feel exhausted. I need a day off. The entire thing is feeling PERSONAL to me, and I need a bit of detachment. I am convinced of the righteousness of what I believe in. But I need a break. If I check out of political debate for 24 hours, it doesn’t mean I’m succumbing to an apathetic indifferent view of the world. I just need to be a “bride married to amazement” for a day.
Because the world is pissing me off.
