This post will be updated to reflect the requests of all of my readers. “Ewan McGregor” and “trumps moral authority” have now been added.
I watched Maltese Falcon starring HUMPHREY BOGART (but not KATHARINE HEPBURN, more’s the pity) for the 30th time, thinking to myself: “Jeez, I’m sure glad that asshole GEORGE LUCAS wasn’t at the helm of this one!!” After the movie ended, I thought to myself, confused, “Hm. BREWSTER BUFFALO. I wonder what that means. I should ask Bill.” Then I peered randomly at MY EYEBALL for a good 5 minutes, wondering what the BACK OF MY EYEBALL would look like. Bored with that, I then proceeded to contemplate my BOOBS, wishing I had some PORN featuring REBECCA WEST AS A DOMINATRIX or at least some HOT GAY ELF SEX. In lieu of PORN, I fantasized about EWAN MCGREGOR, who, as we all know, TRUMPS MORAL AUTHORITY. In that amoral mode, I threw out my JANE AUSTEN books, I threw out my JAMES JOYCE books, I threw out THE COMPLETE WORKS OF VIRGINIA WOOLF and I started reading my KLEMPERER journals, copying down many quotes into MY COMMONPLACE BOOK. Then I got tired of that and tore through THE SILMARILLION BY JRR TOLKIEN. I felt satisfied at last. But I still wish I had some PORN. Also, I wish I had 342 PAIRS OF SHOES. To comfort myself, I looked at my BOOBS some more. My BOOBS are nice, but definitely not as big as the 444-POUND KING OF TONGA’S. I became so filled with despair about this that I shouted up at the sky, “DON’T EVEN TRY, CHIPS!”
(Boy. I am going to get some weird Google searches from that one.)
LOL, I’m satisfied.
You’ll be #1 for “George Lucas’ boobs”
I’m not. No hot gay elf sex. Boo!
Emily – I slightly revised my post now. It can be an ever-expanding post based on people’s wishes and needs.
Ever-expanding? Could you throw in a “the work of Virginia Woolf is over-rated crap” for me sometime then?
And you really should write a post chiding Bill for suggesting there’s such a thing as too many shoes.
Add “Brewster Buffalo” and you’ll be all set. McCabe can explain. Maybe.
That was hot. I need a smoke now.
No mention of the Commonplace Book. Disappointing…
You should probably mention your eyeball, too. I mean, otherwise it seems incomplete somehow.
Don’t even try CHIPS!
OMG, Dan, I so should have remembered that!
But it does remind me that you need to mention the 444-pound King of Tonga.
Oh people, you’re killing me.
Re-read it now. I added some stuff.
But now I have to add the King of Tonga.
Sheila,
The Smithsonian had a CHiP Kawasaki motorcycle on display.
Dan:
“That was hot. I need a smoke now.”
Okay. Now THAT is funny. Laughing over here.
King of Tonga has been added.
hahahaha
And you need to add being tied up by Rebecca West. You said it, not me! ;-)
Dave J: done.
Oh my. Somehow I knew the last two days would turn out to be too much for your psyche. Blowout! Ooof. It must have been the Oliver lyrics at the end.
You left out Hepburn. I’m sad.
alex. Done. No more sadness.
There ya go! Thanks Sheila, this is great!
PORN!
HOT GAY ELF SEX!
BOOBS as big as the 444-POUND KI[twitch]
Oh yeah, and throw in the phrase “trumps moral authority.”
Trump has no moral authority.
An apostrophe or its absence is a powerfful thing, Ken.
‘Heh’
google loves you. totally. and so do i.
;-)
Sheila,
You’re my Hero.
Alex:
Despite my liaison with Miles S??
It’s all very impressive, and I’m especially thrilled by the Brewster Buffalo reference. But I am pretty surprised you haven’t worked the eyeball in yet.
CW: Read it again! The eyeball is there!!! :)
I don’t think the eyeball reference was there the first time I read it, or else I subconsciously skipped over that sentence because I feel I already know all there is to know about your eyeball.
hahahaha
The eyeball reference has been there since last night … so I think your subconscious was definitely at work …