John finally responds, telling her that the entire hospital had gotten so sick that it was deemed unsafe for letters to go out. He assures her that he is fine, and still able to view things with humor. Even in the midst of the illness, he sees the comedic nature of things, and writes her stories. She responds with a story of her own – She witnessed the reunion moment between a “Gentleman and his Lady”, a goodnatured one, all “how do ye”, and reflects on her own more passionate and tumultuous relationship.
Abigail to John April 30 1764
I was yesterday at the Meeting of a Gentleman and his Lady, Clothes all shifted — no danger — and no fear. A how do ye, and a how do ye, was exchanged between them, a Smile, and a good natured look. Upon my word I believe they were glad to see each other. A tender meeting. I was affected with it. And thought whether Lysander, under like circumstances could thus coldly meet his Diana, and whether Diana could with no more Emotion receive Lysander. What think you. I dare answer for a different meeting on her part were She under no restraint. When may that meeting be?
Later in the letter, Abigail gets back on her pet topic, which Adams keeps hinting at, but never follows through on: that he will tell her her “faults”. She won’t let the matter drop. And notice, she won’t let him escape without knowing what she thinks are HIS faults. She wants an equal exchange, a quid pro quo
O by the way you have not told me that insinuation to my disadvantage which you promised me. Now methinks I see you criticizeing — What upon Earth is the Girl after. Where is the connection between my standing the distemper likek an oak, and an insinuation to her disadvantage? — Why i did not expect that a short-sighted mortal would comprehend it, it was a Complex Idea if I may so express myself. And in my mind there was a great connexion. I will show you how it came about.
“I did expect this purgation [the smallpox inoculation process] of Lysander would have set us on a level and have renderd him a Sociable Creature, but Ill Luck, he stands it like an oak, and is as haughty as ever.” Now mentioning one part of this Sentence, brought to mind the accusation of haughtiness, and your faults naturally lead me to think of my own. But here look yee. I have more than insinuations against you. “An intolerable forbiding expecting Silence, which lays such a restraint upon but moderate Modesty that tis imposible for a Stranger to be tranquil in your presence.” What say you to that chrage? Deny it not, for by experience I know it to be true. Yes to this day I feel a greater restraint in your Company, than in that of allmost any other person on Earth, but I thought I had reasons by myself to account for it, and know not that others were affected in the same manner till a late complaint was enterd against you. Is there anything austere in your countenance? Indeed I cannot recollect anything. Yet when I have been most pained I have thoroughly studied it, but never could discover one trace of the severe. Must it not then be something in Behaviour … else why should not I feel as great restraint when I write… Unsociable Being, is an other charge. Bid a Lady hold her Tongue when she was tenderly inquireing after your wellfare, why that sounds like want of Breeding. It looks not like Lysander for it wears the face of ingratitude. — I expect you to clear up these matters, without being in the least saucy.
As to the charge of Haughtiness I am certain that is a mistake, for if I know any thing of Lysander, he has as little of that in his disposition, as he has of Ill nature. But for Saucyness no Mortal can match him, no not even His Diana
Saucy, indeed!!
