Two Eminem News Items

After over a year of almost no reminders that he even existed:

“Hailie’s getting so big now.
You should see her.
She’s beautiful.” — Eminem, “Cleaning Out My Closet”

Heart-crack. I’ve known about this woman since she was a baby. “These goddamn food stamps don’t buy diapers.” “I think my dad’s gone crazy.” He has expressed regret for talking about her so much. He basically didn’t realize what fame meant until it was too late. He wrote a gorgeous song about this on his unfairly-disliked Revival:

I’ve said your name but always tried to hide your face
This game is crazy, I wanted to claim my love for you, but dang
I never knew it’d be like this, if I did I wouldn’t have done it
You ain’t asked for none of this shit, now you’re being punished?

We have all been invested in Hailey for decades now. Once she became an adult, she came out of the Eminem-imposed hiding, and she set up an Instagram and now has a podcast. She’s been dating the same guy for years, they met in high school, and they just got married. Go Hailey Jade. I know it’s crazy but millions of people are happy you are happy.

A day before this image dropped came a cliffhanger post, post-dated May 31, 12:am:

So people have been speculating a new album was coming. It’s been 4 years now (how is that possible) since the double-album year of 2020. Since then …. nothing. He pops up here and there, and he was highly visible during the Lions’ recent run, sitting in the box with his three daughters and their partners, a husband, a fiance, and a girlfriend. Sorry, Marshall. It wasn’t your year. I know your pain. But other than that … he’s Citizen Kane.

Any time he goes away, you know something is coming. Eminem’s fanbase can be extreme and annoying. I won’t lie. The man is not the only rapper in the world. Branch out. There’s a lot of shit going on right now and a lot of cool artists making music. I mean, Kendrick-Drake, amirite? We haven’t had a rap beef since the Eminem-MGK beef, which was hugely entertaining, but years ago. However, I am also a fan and I’ve thought, “He’s working on something. What could it be?” Maybe another kind of Marshall Mathers LP-redux like he did in 2013 with The Marshall Mathers LP? Then he dropped a little music video which was a tease, basically saying, “It’s coming.” In April came confirmation. And sorry, but I WAS RIGHT. Look at that title! (Plus “coup de grace”? I love him.)

So … I guess I need to set my alarm on May 31st. I go to bed at like 9:30. But I can’t just WAIT until the next MORNING. I’ll be in a hotel room in Manhattan. Bring it.

I’ve said it before. I am immature. I think it’s one of my best qualities.

 
 
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